This one will be shorter, since the answers/comments to these questions tend to be on the longer side. Opine away, my lovelies! (I decided to go ahead and give my own answers in this one, since I'm uber-bored at work today. Will this day NEVER end?)
1. Can you (or do you) plan your love life the way you would plan for your job? Is it something you make happen through planning and hard work, or are you more of the passive type who waits around? How much time do you spend on developing/sustaining your relationships/lack of relationships?
Answer: I used to be passive. But now, thanks to my biological clock and hatred of sleeping alone and possibly dying alone, I'm super active. I'm even considering moving to a town where there are more single men. Am I sad? Probably. But I'm having a pretty good time, I must say!
2. How would your Significant Other know that they did a good job in bed? (You don't have to give a personal answer. Any gender-encompassing stereotype will do.)
Answer: Men, I'm really sorry, but I can't really give an answer to this. Any guy who is thinking, "Was that it?...Wait, was that it?" -- I feel for you. Not only is the female uh, reaction notoriously & mysteriously hard to recognize/hard to come by (oooh, that was a bad pun!), but it's been a while for me, so I can't really answer clearly as it is all a faded and distant memory for me! Hmmmm.... If you can get all her clothes off, you're pretty much in like Flynn. But as far as knowing if your skills are up to par....It is a good sign if you don't need any Astroglide! It's a good sign if she can hardly walk afterwards. It is a good sign if she wants to go again right away. (Unfortunately, this could also mean you beat her to the finish line.) Or if she totally passes out afterwards because she's exhausted--that's a good sign. Nine times out of ten, the longer you take, the better love you make! Ha! My new saying...
And to all the women reading this who are faking it--are you high? Why are you promoting bad behavior???? Stop it! Right now!
3. Do you give tests when you are dating?
Answer: Oh, yes! My girlfriends are familiar with my Bathroom Test. I started giving this test when the whole Metrosexual Movement started. I am 150% opposed to this movement. I want hairy, stinky, sweaty, manly, rough, dirty bodies!!! (Ok, I can do without the stinky and dirty, but you get my point.) So, the first time I'm at a new guy's house, I go into the bathroom to look for signs of Metrosexuality. The following items will cause the guy to flunk instantly (this is only a partial listing): a hairdryer, clear nailpolish, expensive shampoo/conditioner, several hair products, several skincare products, specially scented lotion, body scrub, Nair (hair removal cream) or any type of mud mask. I do allow one semi-OK item, including but not limited to: unscented cheap body lotion, spongy poof thingie for shower gel (I prefer just bars of soap, but I now let the poofs slide) and one hair care product. Bonus points are given if I like their cologne, if they use just a bar of soap when in the shower and if they trim (not completely remove!) their body hair. Yes, I'm wierd. But I just can't stand girlymen or vain men! No one who has flunked the bathroom test has ever made it to Boyfriend Status. I don't base everything on this test, but it's a pretty good indicator of a lot of important qualities I look for: masculinity, simplicity, easygoing attitude, practicality and unpretentiousness (is that a word?).
I read about a woman once who gives men the R.E.M. test. If they don't like R.E.M. (the rock band) there is probably something wrong with them. Being a big R.E.M. fan, I have to agree. Good test.