Saturday, June 10, 2006

Back-up Plan

Since I'm stuck at work while I'm supposed to be on my vacation (see below), I will now proceed to blog whatever the hell I want because I am really pissed off. Deal.

Last night I was home alone. Since I was having one of my bi-monthly freakouts about job/money/career issues, Repo was sweet enough to come over and calm me down. Again. (We didn't go out until later.)

We were talking about retirement and investing, etc. He asked me why I wasn't on track to buy a house any time soon. He already has one and is looking to buy a second one by the end of the year. I told him that aside from the fact that making gigantic purchases freaks me out, it would be admitting defeat. He looked puzzled. So I explained to him that it's part of my Back-Up Plan. The alternate lifestyle I will lead in case I never get married. Since I'm 27 and most of my friends are married (or at least divorced or engaged), I have to realize: It might not happen for me. It is a possibility that I will be an old maid. And the sooner I plan for it, the better it will be when I finally face reality. So I have thought of all the fun stuff I'd like to do just in case.

Do you have a contingency plan in case you don't get married? I do. It goes something like this:

I wait until around age 40 to buy a house. This is because I really view buying a house as something you do when you are married. So to buy one now feels like I am admitting defeat. Silly, I know. Plus, I figure by then I will have a set career and be financially stable enough to pull it off. Right now, that isn't really possible unless I totally eliminate all fun money in my budget. This is not an option.

I will own at least 6 dogs, all of varying breeds and sizes. I am not a fan of cats, so I would just become a dog lady. I will love and adore them and adopt strays on the side of the road in addition to saving pound puppies and/or rescue purebreds.

I may or may not be a foster mom. I've always loved kids, and since I wouldn't be having any of my own, this would be the next best thing. Also, there is something about orphan kids that just tugs at my heartstrings. If I'm ever First Lady, my platform will be about adoption reform. This country is really messed up in that way, I think.

(This is my favorite part) Since I will be single, it really doesn't matter what I look like, so I will allow myself to get as plump as I desire. Most weight gain will come from ice cream, my own cooking and baking. I will become an awesome cook and throw dinner parties all the time. Playing hostess is one of my favorite things to do.

Since I get to keep all my income for myself, I will have enough money to buy that red convertible I've always wanted and take a few real vacations (like, the kinds that make your friends jealous). And living alone means that my makeup and shopping budget won't be compromised. I can buy as many shoes and as much Clinique as I want! Woo-hoo!

Actually...this is sounding pretty good. Maybe I won't get married, after all. I mean, why not avoid diapers, right? Now, if only I can break the news to The Czarina...


Vixen said...
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Vixen said... dunderhead on that last comment. For starters, don't you want to have your house paid for by the time you retire? If it takes 30 years to pay for a house and you plan to retire at 65 then you should probably buy one at 30-ish so you don't have to work to pay your mortgage when you are an old lady in retirement. Which will give you more money to play with as you age. Just a thought.

My backup plan starts when I hit 36.

If I'm not married by then, I'm going to travel around the world for 4 years. I will go to exotic places and meet all kinds of foreign men who I will have lovely affairs de coeur with.

After this, I will pen my memoirs of my escapades and retire on the money that I made from that awesome book...hehehe.

Ok, that's as far as I've gotten in the plan....guess I must plan the rest from 42 onwards.

Stuck said...

First of all... a house is an investment, not a back-up anything. You're probably paying more rent than you'd be paying on a nortgage. (And you can still get a roommate to split the costs, only they are helping you pay off a mortgage instead of pissing your combined cash down the proverbial drain.)

Of course, now it might be too late for you, assuming you are on that track to marriage. Once all math is done, you really won't make your money back on a house unless you live there for five years (on a 30-year loan). You can make extra payments towards principal during the year to shave some significant time off of this, but most people don't do that.

DetoxSmurf said...

Your life is an open book... i don't consider buying a house a symbol of being successful. Nor do i consider having a family being successful. To me, life is about setting goals and accomplishing them. I was smart and started saving for retirement at an early age. Now i'm on track to retire a millionaire. I don't want to look back in 20 years and have regrets. And that's how i live my life.

Virginia Belle said...

vixen-- you bring up a good point. i guess i should start planning on buying a house in a few years. crap. can i just say how awesome your backup plan is??? it rox. i might tag along on the travel thing, if that is ok. i'm totally down for traveling the world for some hot lovin' with exotic men!

stuck--i know, i know. gah, way to be all parenty about it. and what do you mean it's too late because i might be on the track to marriage? i have no idea what track i am on. 'splain, Lucy.

detox--that is a very cool way to look at life, i think. maybe i should take a cue from you. :)

Matilda Jane said...

I don't know that I have a backup plan... I just call it my life. I'm not one of those people that just assumes I will get married in the future to adhere to social norms... so I figure I'll just make a butt load of money and get a hot cabana boy to wear a speedo and bring me drinks.
Then, I'll be a sugar momma.

Without kids or a deadbeat husband, I will have money to travel when I want and be a woman of the world.
Oh, and my cabana boy will be covered in body oil at all times.

Virginia Belle said...

matilda-- if it's okay, can i grab the lounge chair next to you? i wanna see that cabana boy in action!