Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The Cold Turkey Diet

Diets?! If I wanted something small and unsatisfying, I'd call my ex!

That is what my calendar says for the month of July. How appropriate...actually, I just think it's funny. K got me this retro-style calendar that says something funny about men every month. Oh, and please don't think that I am implying anything about Repo's size. That was never a problem...but anyway...

So I actually cried at work today. Nice. My coworker has been following my dating life, and she always gives me wonderful encouragement. I just love her to pieces for this. I have decided to go Cold Turkey on Repo because it is just too painful and difficult to talk to him and see him. It just messes with my head and I can't handle it right now. I have faced the facts: I am wasting my time, waiting for him to want to be with me. This is stupid. I deserve to be with someone who doesn't have doubts or need space. He's obviously happy living the single lifestyle, so I need to be, too. (I haven't talked to him since...well, Saturday, really) I have been in denial for weeks, but today I finally thought, "Enough!". I'm just going to have to face it: he doesn't want to be with me and I have to start dating again. Hence my crying to my coworker.

...and the fact that I haven't totally quit smoking yet. But I have cut down--one or two per day. I know, I know. I suck. But I have a steadfast breakup rule: as long as I am still crying about it, I let myself have a cigarette. It is the only thing that keeps me together sometimes.

I just wish I had some motivation! Motivation to stop feeling sorry for myself. To exercise. To lose weight. To get a new job. I am crazy because if my love life is bad, everything else in my world is automatically bad, too. (Do other single girls do this?) And then I just want to throw a big pity party for myself. I didn't mind the rest of my life a few weeks ago, when everything was peachy keen in my love life. Lately, all I see is the negative and I just feel like a big, fat loser.

I gotta snap out of it! I need to just start getting busy and doing things that make me happy again. I must go on a Repo Cold Turkey Diet, a Smoking Cold Turkey Diet and a Misery Cold Turkey Diet. Gah, I haven't had this hard of a time getting over a breakup in a long, long time. Like...three years. Wow. I will get out of this period of sadness. It's just the stage that comes after the anger stage...so I'll throw a pity party for a few days, then I will move on to the next stage: cynicism.

17 comments:

Stuck said...

So just accept that you're a big, fat loser and move on with your life. I don't mean that as an insult at all. It's exactly what I did before my experiment, and it worked great. You get to go out in the world confident with who you are.

If you wanted pity, which so many women do after a break-up, then I'm sure a slew of chick-comments will follow this one offering it. I offer you freedom. ;)

jennster said...

you rock vb. you know it. i know it. chin up girl. if i lived closer i'd come bring you ice cream to get fat with! lol

Anonymous said...

I think that what you're feeling is perfectly normal.. I should know as I, too, just got out of a relationship..
Let me tell you, your Repo Cold Turkey diet is definitely what you should do.. I wanted to stay "friends" with my ex and what happened? Things got so much better between us; he was treating me wonderfully; everything seemed perfect..
Of course, since I was talking to him so much and having such a good time, I never got over him and took him back.. twice.. Just to have my heart broken a few months after..
This is the third time we've broken up.. things (and people) rarely change, so you have to give yourself space and time to get over him before trying a friendship again..

Vixen said...

actually, according to the breakup plan on the Bad Girls Guide, you have a whole week to have a pity party. So that leaves about 4 more days. After that....we'll help you get to Phase Two.

Don't worry, just let it go, let yourself feel. You can start making resolutions later.

Remember, there are alot of guys that you could settle for, but only one that is truly right for you. (And it doesn't sound like he is the one.)

Hang in there hun.

Stella said...

I think Vixen has some good advice. I think (here is my assvice) that you should take it one step at a time. If you try to get over Repo and stress about dieting and smoking you're going to drive yourself crazy. Take this week to get over Repo, spend next week thinking about smoking and the next week about dieting.

I go back and forth on the smoking thing, too. The thing I keep telling myself is that cigarettes are nasty. They smell nasty, they taste nasty. Just nasty. Just keep telling yourself that. It's starting to work for me.

Anne said...

Im sorry bout the repo stuff..that sucks. Maybe dont try going cold turkey on so many things at once? Take it a little slow...maybe?

I think most girls get like that after a breakup. But if it helps..remember that I have seen your pictures..and you are beautiful blonde babe..and nowhere near a fat loser. Promise. *hug*

MoDigli said...

Ohhh... breakups SUCK! I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. But don't beat yourself up, girl! You're fabulous, and getting down on your diet or weight isn't gonna help right now.

I say, if you can muster the strength, go work out! It always puts me in a good mood, even if my life completely sucks.

That, and just keep listening to that Miseducation of Lauren Hill CD. Ex-Factor is a song I listened to OVER and OVER and OVER - really, nonstop! - when I had a super tough breakup a long time ago. It just helped me cry it all out till I was finished!

Hang in there! :)

Matilda Jane said...

Everyone works through these stages at a different pace. You guys JUST broke up for heaven's sakes! AND, not only that, but you attempted to make it work even after he said "hey belle, I don't want you around so much..."
Ouch.. want some more salt for that wound?

I think you're doing yourself good with quitting repo cold-turkey. Unless you can totally rip your heart out of it, that's the only way.
Personally, cynicism is my favorite stage.. it comes right after denial and burning things.

Miss Fire said...

Throw the party, girl. And one day at a time on everything else - you don't have to quit everything at once. Well, I'd quit Repo at once. And then everything else can follow....

Christina_the_wench said...

OMG, the tag line. Diets?! If I wanted something small and unsatisfying, I'd call my ex!

God that cracked me up and so true.

sassafras said...

Hey VB, sounds like you've got some great advice so far. All I can say is that yes, I feel the same way; when my love life is tough everything around me is as well. Hang in there chica, we love you =)

Gypsy said...

I find in times like this it's not a great idea to give yourself hard and fast rules. Just go with the flow. Do what you want, feel what you feel, and be good to yourself. And you're right -- give yourself a few days at least to feel this way. You need to get through this part of the process before you can get to the next one.

I'm a fan of cinematheraoy, so I also suggest watching as many movies about strong, independent women as possible. Fried Green Tomatoes, The Whale Rider, Bend It Like Beckham, Imitation of Life, Tomb Raider, Auntie Mame, Terminator 2. And Buffy. Lots and lots of Buffy.

myboyfriendiscrazy said...

All this stuff is totally normal. It's healthy to feel sad and let a big disappointment affect the rest of your life. You obviously invested a lot in this.

When something bad happens in my love life, my whole life feels it too. You're not crazy :)

DetoxSmurf said...

Ask yourself.... what would Condoleezza Rice do?

The Dummy said...

I'll echo those sentiments already expressed; you've got some great advice and support up above. I'm a big fan of hitting the gym and taking my frustrations out on the iron. It takes your mind off the situation, gets you in better shape, and makes you hotter so your ex regrets his boneheadedness even more! And remember, 80% of working out is just getting yourself to the gym to begin with.

CharlestonGuy said...

Stuck cracks me up as usual...

tallglassofvino said...

The good news is, after Cynicism comes Happy Solo. While you're in this phase, you get to check out boys without a lot of expectation, and when you find one that has a majority of potential points, you cross into Cautious Hopefullness. And you know? That stage is a lot of fun.