Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Bombs Away!


I have been totally MIA this week. Work is crazy and I'm going to the beach on Thursday, so I have been super duper busy. Sorry to all--promise I will try to catch up on reading blogs soon. I tried to put up some accompanying photos to this post, but Blogger won't let me post pics right now.

I told this story to MJ this past weekend, and realized it would make a great blog post. Just like I told her, this story is so weird that I will not be surprised if you don't believe me. But I swear to God this happened.

When I was around 8 years old, I was coming home from the grocery store with The Czarina and my siblings. At the time, we were living in the middle of nowhere in rural Virginia. It was an old farmhouse, complete with big porch, livestock fields and a barn.

When we turned into our long driveway, we realized the National Guard had paid us a visit. There were NG people all over our property. They had their uniforms and machinery and big trucks. There were NG people running around and talking.

Of course, Czarina was thinking, "Great, what did WLF do now?"

All of us kids were shouting, "Cool!"

So why were we invaded? Get this: While we were at the store, WLF and our neighbor, One Leg*, were behind the barn, clearing out some weeds and underbrush. I guess WLF wanted to use that area for something. As they are clearing away the area, One Leg shouts out, "Man, I think this is a bomb! Why do you have this in your yard?"

So WLF goes over there. How about there are 4 friggin BOMBS in our backyard!!! They had been buried a few inches into the ground and then the weeds and stuff had grown over them, so we never knew they were there. My dad looks at the bombs and recognized them. "Hey! I know what these are! These are the kind of bombs they dropped off of planes in WWII!" (In addition to being a taxidermy enthusiast, my father was also a WWII buff.)

Then they are freaking out because--duh--they could get blown to smithereens. So the jump out of there and call the National Guard. They laugh at my dad. WLF insists there are bombs buried behind his house. They laugh some more, but send a guy over to check it out. The guy nearly craps his pants because my dad is not joking. He calls for backup. They all come over, thinking that these are just old shells and they should just get them out of there and throw them away properly. Right after that is when we got home. WLF filled Mom in on the story. She sent us to the house, much to our dismay.

As the National Guard is looking at them and loading them onto their trucks, they realize the bombs are live. Czarina about lost it. We played back behind the barn sometimes. And we could have been blown to pieces all these years. And the NG people had just been tossing the bombs into the backs of the trucks. Holy. Freaking. Cow.

So what's the story? We don't really know. All we can figure is that someone stole them from a nearby military base after WWII, perhaps as a souvenir. They thought they had old empty shells, then realized they had stolen real bombs, freaked out, and buried them in the backyard. They had probably been there for like 40 years. (This was WLF's theory.)

This is the story we were going with. We never did find out why there were bombs buried behind our house. Crazy, huh?

*Yes, he really did have one wooden leg. Farming accident.

21 comments:

Gypsy said...

Daaaaaaaaaaaaang. Talk about a close call. I got shivers.

tall glass of vino said...

Egads!
Good thing no one walked out of there with a new nickname: No Fingers.

(The guy who managed the local swimming pool in my town was an ex-explosive ordinance guy, and had only about four (total) fingers, all spread out across the ten. We were all morbidly fascinated by his disfiguration, but he was great about it)

The Dummy said...

Hey, cool - I wish I could say I had bombs in my back yard. Or better yet, I wish I could say I even HAD a back yard! Condo living in California - what do you expect? :)

Stephanie A. said...

You always have the most nutso stories, VB. That's just incredible! I'm so happy that nobody was hurt by those, my goodness!

Anne said...

Only you could tell that story! Thats just freaking crazy..

Vixen said...

Whoa! That's un-frickin-believable!

NotCarrie said...

Wow, that's quite a story!

sassafras said...

Hmm, I can imagine why Czarina freaked out. Scary stuff!

Katie said...

I still can not believe this after you told me this weekend...crazy girl...

Follow the Frog said...

Hey Virgina Belle! just stopping by to say Hi. I enjoy your blog!

ML
www.followthefrog.blogspot.com

cmk said...

Words fail...

Lisa said...

OH. My. GoD! That IS freaky and scarey!

Christina_the_wench said...

So were there any cute NG guys or what?

charming, but single said...

So, I guess when someone says, "Man, that's the bomb!" you freak out, right?

I am so lame. ;P

Sam said...

I love you, man. You're the bestest in the eastest EVER!! Come see my HNT for the story/pic of your greatness.

Sam said...

Oh, and about the post. I want to have sex with a one-legged man. I don't know why. Oh, and another thing. Bombs behind your house suck. I'm glad you didn't blow up. That would have been bigger suck.

CharlestonGuy said...

I am going to start my own blog - and it will be way tighter than your blog. People from all over to read my blog - because it will be the best one in the universe. In fact, other people wil lstop writing blogs. Why bother once it has been done to perfection?

On my blog I will have a link to your blog. It will read "For the suckiest blog in the universe - click here". Then everyone in the universe will go to your blog and see how much tighter my blog is compared to yours. You will be humiliated.

Then you will ask me to teach you to make a way tight blog like mine that does not have bomb stories or any junk like that. And I will just look at you and say....

"No."

Then you will cry.

CharlestonGuy said...

My blog will also have a spellchecker.

NML said...

You do tell the funniest stories VB!

Brian said...

This absolutely friggin proves it: Virginians are the craziest people in the whole US! I know it's true. We're just all in the closet about it. I'm going to counter this post with one of my own on crazy South-Western Virginia!

Virginia Belle said...

gypsy-- i know! crazy scary.

TGOV--that is crazy! i bet he had cool stories to share. when i was in high school, our typing teacher was missing a couple of fingers. we all wondered how she could teach typing...and we never did find out how she lost them.

DD--oh, i'm sorry! maybe you can put up some posters of the great outdoors?

stephanie-- i know. life is crazy when you have a zillion siblings. i even have a hard time believing this story myself. it really is nuts.

anne-- totally. don't other people have crazy stuff happen to them?? i know they must.

vixen, notcarrie, sassafras, katie, cmk, lisa-- yeah. i have had a crazy life. almost too crazy!

ML-- HI!!!! thanks for stopping by!

christina the wench-- girl, i don't know! i was like 8 years old. and there were bombs in my backyard! come to think of it, this is probably the only situation where i WOULDN'T be looking out for hot guys....only you would ask that question! :)

charming--OMG. that was bad. ;)

sam-- i saw it! i tried to leave a comment, but blogger was a butthead. will try again. i am so totally flattered. awww. i love sam. even though you want to do it with a one legged guy....

CG-- watch out. i think your ego got off its leash again...time for me to call your girlfriend. she'll have to chase it down....

NML-- thank you!

brian--yeah, we are a wild bunch sometimes...i can tell some crazy stories about my mom and dad during their college years....and my brother...can't wait to read yours! tell it!