Monday, October 30, 2006

Happy Non-Oween!

Normally, Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday of the whole year. It has always felt more like New Year's to me. I mean, think about it. You and your friends are totally different people that night. You can be whatever you want on Halloween: intimidating, sexy, strange, funny...and maybe you can carry that inspiration on into the rest of your life. You get to get drunk and be reminded of the sweet things in life while being scared about what lies ahead--around every corner could be a big monster or a ghost from the past. And isn't that a great summary of life? I'm telling you, Halloween should be the new New Year's.

But I digress.

Halloween is my favorite holiday because it combines three of my favorite things: candy, ghost stories and dressing up. So what's wrong this year? Why isn't it holding my rapt attention and making me giddy with excitement? Just a few reasons:

1. Very, very busy with house stuff. Schedule is not allowing for Halloweeny activities, thoughts or shopping.
2. Very, very broke because of house stuff. Bought a fridge this weekend for about $450. (Thank you, H.H. Gregg!) My Visa said, "Ouch!"--no budget room for costumes.
3. There aren't any kids in my neighborhood. The trick-or-treaters are what really get me going. Kids are so hilarious and cute when they knock on your door. Plus, I love to scare them by using my witchiest of voices and pretending like I will drag them into my house to put them into my oven, a la Hansel and Gretel. I'm sick like that, I guess.
4. I couldn't think of anything fun to dress up as this year.

I am so lame that I didn't even dress up on Saturday night when I went out with MJ and her roomie. They were 80s Prom Queens and they looked wicked awesome. We laughed about their cosutmes all night, especially when the really drunk people would try and guess what they were. (You'd think the giant bows and big hair would have been dead giveaways...)

Unlike most females out and about, MJ and KT didn't have those slutty, barely-there sex kitten costumes on. No offense to any of you sex kittens out there (hey, we all have our sex-kitten moments, so more power to ya, Momma--MEOW!) but we are kind of over the "Slutoween" trend. This was never more certain than when we saw a girl wearing fishnets, stilettos and a skin-tight, extremely short blue dress on. I think she was supposed to be a slutty race car driver or something. Anyway, we sat in a booth and just enjoyed the show! Every time she moved, her dress would ride up her butt. She was either too drunk or too trampy to care that there were several strangers taking pics of her rear every time it would start sliding up, exposing her cheeks. Wow.

I should have just put on my costume from last year--I was a girl from a Robert Palmer video. So I looked like this:

But I just didn't feel like it. I'm too stressed out. I needed some simple, fun relaxation time. That means, no costume. This year, I am leaving it to others.

Instead, I have decided to catch up on watching some classic horror flicks. I just need to lock the doors, pop some popcorn and snuggle up with Sammy. Much less stressful. Here is a list of movies I plan on watching, whether on TV or rented from Blockbuster. Believe it or not, I have never seen these! And I LOVE ghost stories and horror pics!

1. Halloween (I know, unbelievable I've never seen this)
2. Nightmare on Elm Street (ditto)
3. The Omen (the original one)
4. Gremlins (Although I never saw it, I was petrified of gremlins as a kid)
5. The Blair Witch Project
6.The Amityville Horror
7. Helter Skelter
8. Children of the Corn
9. Friday the 13th
10. The Haunting (I think it's from the 60s)
11. Frenzy (what can I say, I heart Hitchcock)
12. Carrie

Obviously, I won't be able to watch all of these. So I will need some recs from my readers. Advice? Please tell me which ones are gory. I hate gore. Did I miss any of your favorites? Nothing is too scary for me. I just don't like slasher/chainsaw stuff.

The thing was, we weren't usually allowed to watch horror movies as kids--Czarina didn't want to deal with nightmares. I can't say I blame her, what with my over-active imagination. But now, as an adult, I won't get nightmares. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean I'm willing to watch them by myself, either! And I have a hard time finding scary movie buds. So maybe I should just try to freak myself out this year! Sammy will have to protect me.

If you want to see a good scary movie, I can recommend these, in no order:

1. The Birds (You will never look at birds the same way!)
2. When a Stranger Calls (the original one, not the one that just came out)
3. The Shining (If you haven't seen this, it will freak you the hell out!)
4. The Grudge (I heard the original Japanese version is better, but I've only seen the one with Sarah Michelle Gellar in it.)
5. The Ring (Not the most terrifying thing I've ever seen, but it has its moments)
6. Rosemary's Baby (A classic)
7. Poltergeist (another classic)
8. Psycho (the original is best)
9. The Sixth Sense

What would I advise you to avoid? The Exorcist (the special effects are too antiquated by now--it just looked too fake to me. I know I am going to catch a lot of flack for saying that!) and House of 1,000 Corpses (that movie is just wrong and disgusting. It bothers me knowing that someone thought up that movie. It made me cry! A lot! I got really, really upset watching this movie. Entirely too gory and just...wrong. If you dislike gore as much as I do, avoid this at all costs.)

Ok, I have talked about this so much, I have to go to Blockbuster now!


CT said...

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays too, but sadly it seems Australia doesn't really go halloween. Blair Witch project gave me nightmares and made me very afraid of the woods for a loooong time (but definitely good if you like to be scared!)Also..28 Days Later, really good, and not too gory.

Lisa said...

We saw that movie The Poisedon this weekend... Not scarey in the Halloween sense but scared the shit out of me. I can't imagine I'll ever go on a cruise ship!

Hope you do get a few trick or treaters in your neck of the woods.

Pirate BA said...

I think the two movies that scared me the most are Silence of the Labs and The Red Dragon. SCARY! And when I was watching Silence of the Lambs for the first time, I was laying on the couch near the front door and a strong gust of wind blew it open. I knew Hannibal Lector was coming to get me.

Also, the Blair Witch Project's shaky camera made me sick to my stomach. I almost threw up in the theater and had a headache for the whole next day.

Pirate BA said...

I meant Silence of the Lambs not Labs! Although I guess that could be a funny spoof.

Stephanie A. said...

Happy Halloween!

I love that you were a Robert Palmer girl last year! That's so creative and fun! If you have pics you should share!

kimmykins13 said...

Oh get The original Omen. It is so creepy and has such a great plot. The 1st Friday the 13th is good too, a little gory in some places but has a nice twist at the end that the ones that came later do not. I own The Omen and I am going to put it on tonight while we are passing out the candy. Carrie is pretty bloody but it is one that you really need to see. Its kind of become a cult classic now.

Meghan (The Declaration of MY Independence) said...

VB-The Amityville Horror is HORRIBLE!!! Read the book instead of watching the movie, it scared the crap outta me esp. b/c it is based on a true story!

Gypsy said...

Get The Changeling. Incredible ghost story. Not at all gory, but terrifying.

charming, but single said...

Ok, I so do the slutty Halloween, thing, but not nearly as bad as some women.

For instance, tonight I'm wearing my little black dress with a bit of clevage and butterfly wings. Hence, a slutty butterfly.

I don't get people who pay money for crazy slutty outfits to wear once. I juet buy accessories.

NotCarrie said...

Rosemary's Baby is an amazing movie:)

The Dummy said...

Well, maybe you'll have more time come next Halloween! Seriously, getting set up in a new house takes a LOT of time.

As for those horror flicks, I don't do really well with them. My imagination gets too creative in the dark when I let it. After hearing of an old roommy tell me he didn't want to walk down a dark hallway after watching Blair Witch, I knew to stay away from that one!

Hope you had some candy to munch on for Halloween!

Random Musings Of My Life said...

OHH the Grude 2 is coming out.. or its out I can not remember.
Oh Halloween, I think next year I will do it big

Virginia Belle said...

b-- thanks for the movie recs! I'll have to check them out. too bad aussies don't get into halloween--they're missing out!

lisa-- yeah, i've seen the original one with gene hackman. it's freaky!

pirate-- yeah, i've heard that about blair witch. i've only seen bits and pieces of the hannibal lector (sp?) movies. i need to sit down and watch them. and yeah, SNL should do a "Silence of the Labs" skit. might be a good one.

stephanie-- alas, i am not much of a picture taker. i have no pics. brunette might...i should ask her.

kimmykins-- i rented the first Friday 13th. haven't watched it yet. almost got the original Omen. next time.

meghan-- that's really what i wanted to rent, but it was all checked out. i will read the book, since you recommended that instead. first, i have to read a book about the Bell Witch! Brunette loaned it to me.

gypsy-- Ooh, i've heard that is creepy. i will add it to the list.

charming-- see, now that i can live with. i guess i'm referring to the ones who wear acetate dresses up to THERE and look worse than hookers. you sound like you are tasteful, yet sexy. which doesn't surprise me a bit! :)

notcarrie-- yes, it is. it's one of those movies that implies something that is just....a horrid, horrid thought.

dummy-- you aren't kidding! this makes moving into a rented apartment look like a walk in the park! i am ready for it to be OVER.

random-- OMG I looooooved the Grudge. that was a really scary movie. can't wait to see the sequel. and next year, i think i will have a halloween party. i've always wanted to have one.