Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Jimmy Stewart


The Czarina called me the other day. She wanted me to talk to her banker. She thinks he walks on water, and since he's such a good friend of hers, she's sure he would offer me a great mortgage rate, so why not call him to see what he can do, blah blah blah.

She neglected to tell me that he talks like Jimmy Stewart.

A drunk Jimmy Stewart. With just a hint of Harry Caray.

So when I called him, it was quite interesting. He's a very nice man, but he does nothing but remind me of scenes from It's a Wonderful Life.

This makes it very difficult to talk to him on the telephone, as I am stifling giggles the entire time. I just want to shout out lines from his movies: Rear Window, Vertigo, Harvey, etc. Luckily, most of our communication has been through email.

In other news...

Have I told you about Sammy's Evil Twin? Yeah, apparently my adorable, loving and extremely well-behaved little Boston Terrier moved out a couple of weeks ago. He has been replaced by Evil Sammy.

Evil Sammy chews on Mommy's brand new expensive shoes. Yeah, the ones she hasn't worn yet. Evil Sammy eats K's brand new shirt that Mommy has to replace. Yesterday, Evil Sammy decided to chew holes in K's comforter. Not big holes--little ones. (Luckily, K said she wanted to replace her comforter soon, anyway.) Last week, I learned that Evil Sammy likes to chase cars. I was walking him, and out of nowhere, he decides to chase a car. Let me say that up until this point, absolutely no interest has been expressed by my dog when it comes to cars. But at 6:15am last Monday, he was definitely interested in them.

I was using a retractable leash. And I wasn't wearing gloves. Seeing where this is going? Yeah, I have deep rope burns/cuts all over my right hand. They are healing now, but seriously, they were bad.

The good thing is, I get to tell people I have rope burns on my hands and then let them wonder...

I don't know what has gotten into him. Nothing has changed in his routine. I have been a little busy with house stuff, but I'm home about the same amount of time. Why is he suddenly upset about the fact that I have to go to work? I have tried leaving toys for him to play with while I'm at work, but he ignores them.

I told him last night that I don't have to take him with me when I move. He can be a "dog of the streets". (Just kidding. But I may start gating him up in the kitchen if he keeps it up.)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here is my assvice. Kennel him or gate him up in your kitchen. I keep my dog in a crate all day and she is happy and well adjusted. Well, she could be unhappy she just hasn't learned how to talk yet so I guess I don't really know. I thought she was doing well for a while so I for a while I let her out during the day to roam free in my bedroom. She did well for about a month or so until one day she chewed my sheets so back to the kennel she went.
- stella

Red said...

In my experience, dogs act out due to boredom. And offering numerous toys at once doesn't help. Try narrowing it down to one toy and what Stella said as far as narrowing down the space Sammy is able to use when you aren't around.

Gretchen digs holes when she's bored and outside. That problem is usually solved by giving her a basketball to play with.. Inside when she's bored, she looks for things to eat: paper, crayons, some of the kids' toys, so she usually has to have a "job" of some sort whether it's guarding something or finding a toy..

Good luck!

DetoxSmurf said...

VB has expensive shoes that she has never worn. Go figure.

One time i got really bad rug burns from the roof of my ex GF's apartment. I'd tell you the story but she would kill me. >:)

Random Musings Of My Life said...

Show him whos boss, before it gets too bad.
I think thats what the doggy doctor said

Gypsy said...

We say that to our dogs when they've been acting up. "George! You'll be a 10-year-old dog walking the street if you don't stop clawing at the door!"

Meghan (The Declaration of MY Independence) said...

VB - I agree with the above posters. I think you need to a) show him who's boss and b) start to crate train him. I just got a 5 month old Yorkie and I am doing these things with him and he is learning quickly. Also, you may want to do clicker training - my pup learned how to sit in just an hour with this! (I felt so awesome!) I'll admit that I'm kind of a drill sergeant with my pup, but I refuse to have one of those un-managable, out of control dogs. If you want to know some training tips let me know and I'll email them to you. I am friends with a dog trainer and he is where I get most of my methods from.

Miss Fire said...

Yeah, I'm all for the crate training. And I feel ya with the rope burns. At least he's small enough never to leave you with a separated shoulder...

tallglassofvino said...

I wonder if he's acting up in response to the doggie-classes?

Either way, I also vouch for crate training. They feel secure and comfortable, and are so happy to see you when you get home. And then, access to the house seems like a priviledge rather than a right.

Matilda Jane said...

I crate trained CornBread for the first year I had her. She was good in the crate so I decided to let her roam free during the day. At first, she chewed up everything... electrical cords, shoes, salt&pepper shakers... then she got better and it became less and less frequent.

After over a year out of the crate, we still have an occasional mishap. It's all a part of dog ownership. Either crate the dog during the day (which I prefer not to) or accept that things will be ruined once in a while. It's not vindictive behavior, it's instinct.

I woke up to either barf or poo on the floor this morning after CB ate half a bag of bird seed. I expected mishaps since moving into the new house this weekend... so it's no big deal to me.

It's your choice. There are rabid activists on both sides of crate training... I just felt bad sticking her in the crate all day for my convenience.

teahouse said...

Woo, bad doggie!

And my mortgage broker sounded like Don Knotts - post-Barney Fife days, when he was in his 70s and still acting. Mr. Roper.

anny said...

i luv dog stories. they're so cool no matter what they do - except when they give u rope burns.

Anne said...

Thats so weird about Sammy..Rickey is just bad all the time..he doesnt flip from good to bad. But that chasing cars business is bad news. Maybe he is just bored...or he needs some structure or something. It would be so great if they could tell us what was wrong.