...that all this traveling I'm doing this month is actually because I'm mega-ultra famous, and I'm going on tour. I know I can't sing. Or dance. Or act. But I'm just famous, ok? Go with me on this one. It's fun. Besides, this is a good way to procrastinate on packing for Orlando.
I was reading over at Gypsy's blog yesterday, and she had the coolest post--her list of rider requirements if she were famous. Like her, I'm never going to be so high maintenance that I'd ask someone to pick out all the green M&Ms or anything like that. But if I were allowed, this is what I'd ask to be ready and waiting for me backstage or in my trailer:
1. chocolate twizzlers
2. sour mix jelly belly jellybeans
3. Milk Maid caramels (no other kind will do)
4. diet coke.
5. more diet coke. just tons of it.
7. a huge glass out of which I will drink my diet coke--with a straw
8. Starbuck's vanilla lattes (I don't know how that will work, either. It's not my problem. I'm famous, remember?)
9. Camel lights -- at least 3 packs.
10. a lighter and a big ashtray
11. cable TV & a DVD player
12. a stereo so I can play my CDs if I want
13. a Henri Bendel candle from Bath and Body Works-- the Fig one.
14. a collection of recent issues of the following magazines: In Style, People, Country Living, Real Simple, Cosmo, Allure, Glamour
15. ten of my favorite movies on DVD so I can watch them when I want
16. Light Nacho Cheese Doritos
17. Lean Pockets -- Chicken Quesadilla flavor
18. a microwave to cook my "pockets of hot"
19. a bed and toys for Sammy
20. Cranberry-Raspberry juice (and I mean 100% juice. None of this cocktail crap.)
21. Roast beef, Dukes mayo, sliced cheddar and whole grain bread so I can make sandwiches
22. Yoplait light yogurt in Raspberry
23. a charger for my cell phone
24. a laptop with wireless internet (I told you I am really famous and important)
25. a soft pillow and polar fleece throw so I can take a nap on the couch they provide
26. Excedrin in case I get a headache
27. light cookies n cream ice cream in the fridge
28. spoon and dish for said ice cream
29. manicurist/pedicurist on call
30. anti-bacterial hand soap, my own private bathroom & clean towels
31. 'round the clock limo service
32. a masseuse (sp?) on call--he must be young, straight and hot as hell.
33. pulled pork and BBQ sauce from Sticky Fingers, along with hamburger buns so I can make BBQ sandwiches
34. oreos and milk, just in case I get a craving
35. a big order of Chik-fil-a's chicken nuggets, and ketchup to dip them in
36. the day's issue of the local paper, and a pen so I can do the crossword puzzle
37. a big fluffy robe and slippers
38. an iron and ironing board so I can iron my clothes if necessary
39. Raspberry-flavored sparkling water
40. macaroni and cheese
41. butter biscuits
42. a loaf of my mom's pumpkin bread
43. an elliptical machine so I can burn off all those calories! (Gah, am I food-obsessed or what??)
44. enough seating so that my entourage and I will have plenty of room to lounge around
45. board games: Trivial Pursuit, Scattergories, Taboo, Monopoly, Risk
46. an original Nintendo, so I can play all the Super Mario games and Tetris
See? I didn't even ask for flowers. I'm low-maintenance like that.
Who says women are impossible to please? I only need 46 things to be happy.
What would your rider have on it?
Have a great weekend, everyone! I'll be escaping the cold down in Orlando. I'm sure something funny/embarrassing/strange will happen to me. I'll have a full report next Wednesday!