Friday, December 01, 2006

Things I Learned Today

1. Haagen-Dazs is a made-up word.

2. Reduced fat peanut butter actually tastes like regular peanut butter. Schwing!

3. When a coworker brings in Krispy Kreme doughnuts, it is impossible to eat just one.

4. I could get snowed in when I go to Indy in two weeks, if I believe the Farmer's Almanac. Crap.

5. Mollies are these sort of jacket things that go over screws to give you more stability.

6. That sentence makes me giggle like a 7th grader. Because I am a big pervert.

7. Mollies are also known as anchors. But I think it's more fun to call them Mollies because you can say things like, "screw the Mollie into the wall" or "You have a screw? A Mollie would be good for that. Use a ribbed one, though." Tee hee.

8. Sam got engaged. Go tell her Congragulations. Note: She is N-O-T pregnant. Don't believe the hype.

9. Lots of guys seem to use myspace as a free dating service. At first, I was annoyed, but now I'm thinking they might be on to something. You can learn a lot about someone by reading their myspace page. You can see what they look like. You could even do a whole "Six Degrees of Myspace" thing and see if you have any mutual-mutual friends. There's no pressure like on dating sites, so you can message a lot and see pics before you have to meet the person in person. This concept could be interesting...hmmm...I will think about that as I assemble furniture, plant bulbs and hang shelves this weekend. If you have any information about myspace dating, please share with me. I'd like to hear stories. Because the random guys are getting cuter and cuter. And funnier...

10. See if you can guess what happens when a man is subjected to the following situations all at the same time:
*They have become librarians
*They honestly believe they can beat Google
*They have spent approximately 35% of their life playing video games
*They haven't gotten laid in at least 3 years, and therefore, are so incredibly horny and full of jizz that they are no longer able to stop themselves from inserting sexual innuendo into every conversation
*They think they are funny AND cool, when in reality, they are neither
*They have entirely too much time on their hands
*They have a major thing for sassy, hot Indian women

Can't guess? They create Ms. Dewey. Everyone at work (and by everyone I mean not me) is obsessed with this search engine. I played around with it before I got annoyed and closed it. She's really annoying, especially if you don't type anything in for a few minutes. I asked her why she's so annoying, and she got sassy with me. She thought my search for helicopters was fascinating. When I searched for "anal leakage", she informed me that farm animals don't even do that. Blah. After about 3 minutes, I was sick of her. But if you'd like to play with her, recommended searches include: cusswords, your first name, Ms. Dewey, anything resembling a porno title. Enjoy!

Have a good weekend!

16 comments:

Mieke said...

I can't believe Haagen-Dazs was made up. Coffee is the best ice cream ev-ah!
My sister actually met her boyfriend on my space. She totally used it as a dating thing and I was always telling her not to! It freaked me out. Then she met this guy for coffee and "love happened". He's actually a great guy. So it can happen, but be careful!! There are some crazies out there.

Random Musings Of My Life said...

I am a myspace virgin, serious I will not even go there...
And Ms dewey... I got sick of her after I asked her about president bush and her favorite books.. its a neat concept though....

RWA said...

Don't hate me for this, but I heard recently that reduced-fat peanut butter isn't any better for you than regular peanut butter.

It seems that, in order to make it taste the same, they have to add more sugar to make up for the lost fat.

Lisa said...

I am a MySpace virgin. Am totally clueless about it.

I know a few Molly's and will never think of them again with out thinking of YOU too! heehee

DetoxSmurf said...

My roommate is into meeting girls on myspace. Most spend the night on the 1st date too. I don't know... it's just not my thing.

teahouse said...

Heehee..your "full of jizz" comment made me blush!!

Mercury said...

Hey Virginia, it's Dan from over at GF07. I like your blog here. Your Thursday 13 made me feel alive.

This is a good thing.

The Dummy said...

Krispy Kremes are my extra special weakness. I used to live relatively close to one. ICG got mad because I would just plow right through a box - with her helping me.

As for myspace, I guess that makes sense it'd end up being used for dating. It's just like friends being attracted to other friends. Why not take advantage of it if it's right there for the taking, right?

Sam said...

I said "show me your tits" to Ms. Dewey. Ha ha. As far as myspace goes, please DON'T DO IT. You're way too old for the average myspace man who is looking for a jr. high girl. I may have to hate you for MINUTES if you hook up on myspace. MINUTES!!!

NotCarrie said...

Now I want ice cream.

acaligurl said...

i heart krispy kremes, i heart Haagen-Dazs almost any flay va, and screw mollie!

Matilda Jane said...

A-hem... you know Steve... the wonderful houseboy that you attempted to steal from me after you realized that he's not only cute, but also incredibly useful around the house? Yes... my Steve. We met thanks to MySpace. Even if we don't end up together forever... I'm very very glad I met him.
Don't knock it 'til you try it my dear... what do you have to lose?

the shrewness said...

i can almost imagine miss dewey in a dominatrix outfit.

i know, i have a sick mind... :)

m said...

Some man at work said: "Why don't you get a myspace page and meet guys?"

What a cyber world we live in when a real in the flesh man sends a real in the flesh woman to find a cyber date.

Don't people just ask people on dates any more???

Stuck said...

Ahh, MySpace...

There are two types of people who use MySpace. The first is there because they want an easy, no-strings, hook-up. The second is there because they think it's fun and enjoy meeting new people. (And the third is the guy who wants to keep up with all his obscure angry-music bands and their tour dates. I didn't say there are three types because I'm sure that CSI-Guy and I are the only two who fit this category.)

I've met six new women in person because of MySpace since I signed up forever ago. I think they're great people. And I've only slept with three of them...

Jonathan said...

ms dewey is from microsoft to get folks to use its new microsoft live search. And yes, she is one of the most annoying things I have ever seen.