1. Haagen-Dazs is a made-up word.
2. Reduced fat peanut butter actually tastes like regular peanut butter. Schwing!
3. When a coworker brings in Krispy Kreme doughnuts, it is impossible to eat just one.
4. I could get snowed in when I go to Indy in two weeks, if I believe the Farmer's Almanac. Crap.
5. Mollies are these sort of jacket things that go over screws to give you more stability.
6. That sentence makes me giggle like a 7th grader. Because I am a big pervert.
7. Mollies are also known as anchors. But I think it's more fun to call them Mollies because you can say things like, "screw the Mollie into the wall" or "You have a screw? A Mollie would be good for that. Use a ribbed one, though." Tee hee.
8. Sam got engaged. Go tell her Congragulations. Note: She is N-O-T pregnant. Don't believe the hype.
9. Lots of guys seem to use myspace as a free dating service. At first, I was annoyed, but now I'm thinking they might be on to something. You can learn a lot about someone by reading their myspace page. You can see what they look like. You could even do a whole "Six Degrees of Myspace" thing and see if you have any mutual-mutual friends. There's no pressure like on dating sites, so you can message a lot and see pics before you have to meet the person in person. This concept could be interesting...hmmm...I will think about that as I assemble furniture, plant bulbs and hang shelves this weekend. If you have any information about myspace dating, please share with me. I'd like to hear stories. Because the random guys are getting cuter and cuter. And funnier...
10. See if you can guess what happens when a man is subjected to the following situations all at the same time:
*They have become librarians
*They honestly believe they can beat Google
*They have spent approximately 35% of their life playing video games
*They haven't gotten laid in at least 3 years, and therefore, are so incredibly horny and full of jizz that they are no longer able to stop themselves from inserting sexual innuendo into every conversation
*They think they are funny AND cool, when in reality, they are neither
*They have entirely too much time on their hands
*They have a major thing for sassy, hot Indian women
Can't guess? They create Ms. Dewey. Everyone at work (and by everyone I mean not me) is obsessed with this search engine. I played around with it before I got annoyed and closed it. She's really annoying, especially if you don't type anything in for a few minutes. I asked her why she's so annoying, and she got sassy with me. She thought my search for helicopters was fascinating. When I searched for "anal leakage", she informed me that farm animals don't even do that. Blah. After about 3 minutes, I was sick of her. But if you'd like to play with her, recommended searches include: cusswords, your first name, Ms. Dewey, anything resembling a porno title. Enjoy!
Have a good weekend!