Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Dummy, Chummy and Yummy, Part 2

I would like to start this post with the following information which is not directly related to this story, but begs to be shared with my readers anyway: I saw Hot Neighbor without his shirt on last night. Yeah. It was awesome. I was walking Sammy before bedtime, and he just pops out of his house with no shirt on. He was on the phone and sat down on his stoop to talk. He waved. I almost passed out. He looked good. Very, very yummy. And so today I have fantastic mental's making my day go so much better than a regular Wednesday....*sigh*

Ok, back to the story of my weekend of almost-hookups with guys.

Saturday was St. Patty's Day, which meant spending the day in Five Points, the cultural (ie, bar) hub of town. This year's annual festival did not disappoint. KT, MJ and I enjoyed live music from Villanova and Loch Ness Johnny. I meant to catch The Movement and Corey Smith, but there were scheduling conflicts (ie, I forgot). I'm kind of mad at myself about this...but oh well.

Although windy, it was sunny and warm enough to be outside. I saw no one I knew which was really amazing, actually. Usually I run into umpteen friends there. I think it was because we got there so late--most of my friends had already gone. We enjoyed the music and beer for a while and then left to grab some dinner. By then it was starting to get pretty cold, so I went home and changed into something warmer. I met back up with MJ and KT at Flying Saucer. They were talking to some coworkers of KT's.

"Oh, hey, VB!" KT said. "This is my friend. You can call him Asshole," she said.

I looked to him, expecting him to protest. He didn't. "Hi. I'm an Asshole. I really am," he said.

I laughed and said, "Ok, you want to be called 'Asshole', I can call you Asshole!"

At 23, he classifies as BB, but he was still a cool guy. (BB stands for "baby balls", remember). He has a great sense of humor. Kinda cute, in a geeky way. He is mega-smart. (Who gets a masters degree in statistics????!) Definitely not an asshole, although as MJ adeptly pointed out, he does leave something to be desired in the manners department. I liked him right away. His friend seemed nice, too.

After about 15 minutes, MJ and KT paid their tabs and we were on our way to Art Bar to see Loch Ness Johnny play again. (Gotta love seeing your favorite local band play twice in one day!) I was kind of hoping the two BBs would come with us, but I didn't say anything.

Five minutes later, they showed up. The warm-up band started to play, but BB and I stayed in the main part of the bar, smoking and talking. We joined them later, but spent most of our time talking to each other.

The only bad thing was that for some reason, our conversations kept turning to awkward topics for me: alcoholism, my dad, my baby brother that died, MRSA, etc. He wasn't doing it on purpose, it's just the way the conversations wound up. He kept bringing up topics or asking questions I don't like to discuss around people I just met. "He's not very good at small talk, is he?" I asked KT later. "Nope." she answered.

I stopped mid-sentence at one point and said, "You're really good at making me feel uncomfortable. You have managed to bring up every awkward topic I don't like to talk about."

He apologized and we got back to more comfortable discussions. Despite the uncomfortable questions, I did enjoy his company. And although he has what I like to call "nibbly lips" (Orlando Bloom has "nibbly lips" in case you are wondering what I'm talking about), he's going to have to remain in the Friend Zone because he's just too young. I can't say that in a Xanax-induced fuzziness I won't grab him and make out with him one day, but for now, he's TFZ'd.

Oh yes, you read that correctly. I discovered Xanax this weekend. Not as good as vicodin, but it's a good time. Hey, when people offer me drugs, I take them. I'm not stupid.

But let's not get off track, now, ok? There's still one more guy I have to tell you about.

The rain check with Jack Steel never happened, by the way. I was relieved, as I had mulled it over in my brain and come to the conclusion that it was a bad idea to begin with. He's just too...stupid. Hooking up with stupid people is not fun at all. I'd rather suck face with BB.

Back to the story. This is the Yummy part.

So the other day, I had just gotten home from work when an ambulance, lights flashing, pulled into my neighborhood. I was concerned, since most of my neighbors are elderly.

The EMTs hopped out and ran up to Miss Margie's house. She is my favorite neighbor (well, besides Hot Neighbor, obv.). Very sweet older lady. She has a very naughty dachshund named Daisy.

I swear to God this is going somewhere, guys. Just hang with me.

So the EMTs put Miss Margie on a gurney and throw her in the back of the ambulance and haul her off to the hospital. Since her kids were there, I figured Daisy would be ok. I was worried about Miss Margie, but didn't want to bother them, so I didn't get to ask what had happened. I figured she couldn't have been too sick, because she was talking and awake when she was on the gurney.

She's home from the hospital now, and last night I was out walking Sammy when I saw her. She and Daisy were out, too. So I got the chance to find out what had happened to her. She had a hernia which pressed on her esophagus and makes it hard for her to breathe and eat. She is probably going to have to have surgery, but she's fine. I told her I was glad she was ok and that if she ever needed me to watch Daisy to let me know.

"Oh, you're so nice. You know, that's what Hot Neighbor was saying the other day," she said.

"Oh.....yeah?" I said.

"Yes, he said you were so sweet and such a nice girl. He wanted to know how old you are, so I told him you're 28," she said, looking over at me sideways. I think I saw a hint of a smile on her face.

"Really. That's interesting," I said.

"Uh huh. He's been working a lot lately," Miss Margie said.

"Yeah, I noticed," I replied.

We said goodnight and parted ways. My brain was spinning. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't even think to grill her for more information! But since she's not doing well, I told her I'd bring her some food later. Maybe I can grill her when I bring it over. I wonder what else she knows...


Virginia Belle said...

Oh-- project non-smoker VB is going well, btw. 4 days and counting.

no one told me that my nicotine cravings would be replaced with chocolate candy cravings. i think i could eat about 4 pounds of chocolate right now. this is unusual for me. i don't normally crave it so badly.

i found myself in the easter candy aisle at target last night!

mmmmm....cadbury's.....i like the caramel filled ones. i got a dozen of the mini ones. i only ate one.

Behind The Curve said...

Keep it going on the no smoking front! Nice HN developments. Definitely bring over some food for Miss Maggie and... Get. More. Info!

Mieke said...

Oh my gosh! Miss Maggie is a most excellent source of info. He was asking her questions???? This is very very good. This is like a cliffhanger every time!
Good luck with the non-smoking! Your doing awesome!! :)

Jonathan said...

cadbury caramel eggs are the best. Keep up the quitting smoking. It will be worth it and it may be the hardest thing you ever do. I know it was for me.

RWA said...

See? Even your old lady neighbor is on your side with Hot Neighbor.

Patience is a virtue, remember?

KT said...

WOOT! WOOT!!!! YAY for this news!!! Can't wait for more details!!

cmk said...

Gotta love those elderly neighbors who can be on your side--they get away with asking way too many questions, personal and otherwise, because of their age!

Cadbury makes--or used to make--a fudge-filled egg. YUMMMMMM! I haven't been able to find them around here for a couple of years. :(

kimmykins13 said...

Careful with the Xanax though VB. I've used it a couple of times myself and it is fun, but highly addictive. A friend of mine got really hooked on it. She's ok now though.

I just knew Hot Neighbor liked you! And now (since he's been asking questions Ms. M questions about you) this confirms it.

My best friend just quit smoking. She said it was hard at first but she's gotten used to it. I'm next. I'm only about a 1/2 pack a day girl (if that) but I need to do it too (By the way, you got me hooked on the pink camels). I'm gonna try Nicorette. This is what BFF used and she says it is effective and helped her. She hasn't smoked in 31 days.

Virginia Belle said... neighbor's name is MARGIE, folks, not maggie.


some of you may know why this typo amuses me....


cmk-- the fudgy ones are the best!!! i have had those. they are hard to find.

thanks for the heads up, kimmy. don't worry. i am not going to do anything crazy. i should probably stop w/all of this nonsense, actually....we all know i have an addictive personality.

alison said...

Does Miss Margie really call him Hot Neighbor? :)

* meish * said...

AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! this is exciting news - just a matter of time before all your hot neighbor fantasies come true...

Stuck said...

The down side to quitting smoking is that you don't really have a perfect excuse to go sit on your porch and be approachable if Hot Neighbor wants to do the Casual Approach.

However, if he's asking about your age from Miss MArgie, and he said you were a nice girl, you've caught his interest. Give it time to percolate...

Phantom Hater said...

Well, it's been obvious HN is interested in you, but he's just going about it in a roundabout way. I guess maybe the divorce made him gun-shy about opening up his heart. Maybe his ex-wife was a former neighbor. :)

As for smoking, I didn't find breaking the actual physical addiction of smoking difficult, but it's tough to resist the psychological triggers that make you want to smoke, like drinking, because you become conditioned to do both at the same time.

The best anti-smoking thing is to appeal to your vanity (that's what helps me resist lighting up). Smoking makes your skin look older, your teeth look yellow, and your breath smell like a chimney stack. But you definitely look cooler when smoking a cigarette, so there are pros and cons.

All this talk about Hot Neighbor reminds me of something...a friend of mine told me when she was young and foolish she posed for a Scores publication called "Naughty Neighbors". I'm sure you're familiar with it--you probably keep a copy or two of it in your bathroom. ;)

Matilda Jane said...

Oh for heaven's sakes the only way you can possibly get high on Xanax is if you take 6 pills. I take one on rare occasions when I would otherwise kill someone in rage.... and I certainly don't sit around rocking and repeating "xannaaaaaxxxxx xaanaaaaaaxxxxxxx..." Honestly, I don't see how people that take more than one at a time stay awake.....

Anyway... that's my rant on addiction to xanax because I find it nearly impossible. OMG WHERE IS MY XANAX RAAARRRRRR!!!!!

Still no smoking on this end... but two liquor promos this weekend will make it tough!

SJ said...

omg! i am super excited to hear the news about hn!! even though i can't lie, i still think the whole divorcee/kids issue is sketch. but, i do know how exciting it is to find out that someone fancies you (and yes, i used your ever so favorite british slang).

but i do want to say, don't discount bb's. i myself turned 27 this month (just like you!) and the last guy i dated was 23, and this new guy i'm sort of whatevering with is 24. just find me in 5 years and make sure i'm still not going out with them, i'll be bordering on cougar then. but i have to admit, they make me feel HOT!

anyways, enough about me, looooooooved the update, and can't wait to see how hn pans out. oh, and i've stalled out on 11 lbs, and i just ate a whole box, yes an entire box of samoas, so i'll probably be in the reverse direction tomorrow! agh! :(

kimmykins13 said...

Well gosh, It seems as though my comment pissed MJ off. I wasn't trying to preach. I admitted I have used the stuff recreationally a couple of times too and I do have a friend who started using it on a regular basis for the same purposes. She did get to the point where she couldn't function properly without it and it became a problem. Everyone's body is different. At any rate the comment was posted with the best of intention.