Friday, April 20, 2007

Have Fun Living Alone!

OMG, you guys. TGIF. That's all I can say right now.

Soon, I will be living alone for the first time in 3 years. WOOT! And let me tell ya, I'm excited. I have made this list of fun things you can do ONLY if you are a single woman who lives alone*:

1. Eat ice cream for breakfast. Topless.

2. Stay in your pjs until 3pm, complete with unbrushed teeth and dirty hair. (Ok, you could do this if you lived with people, but they would probably think you are weird.)

3. Make the executive decision to stop shaving your legs for 2 weeks.

4. Walk around topless. With the blinds open. (Oops! Sorry, Hot Neighbor!)

5. Do your ironing in your underwear. (WHY do I enjoy doing that so much???)

6. Watch soft porn in the living room.

7. Sleep naked and then spread eagle on the bed without getting jabbed in the ribcage for hogging it.

8. Designate an extra room as "The Junk Room" and put whatever is bugging you in there. That way, your house is perpetually and inexplicably tidy. Little do your houseguests know....

9. Or you could designate the room "The Dressing Room" or "The Party Room" or "The Girly Girl Room" or whatever the hell you want.

10. You can paint your bathroom Kool-Aid purple. Btw, yes, Virginia, you can paint it in your underwear.

11. Talk on the phone very loudly and for as long as you like. No censoring necessary. Snorting laughter optional.

12. Bring home hotties. (Not that I have much luck in this department...) Make them breakfast in the morning. No whispering required, unless it's naughty little things in his ear.

13. Never wait in line for the washer/dryer. Or remove other people's lint from the dryer vent. (UGH one of my biggest pet peeves EVER.)

14. Never worry that someone is hogging all the hot water. Or the driveway.

15. Dance around your living room to Britney Spears/Hilary Duff/some other bubblegum singer you favor, although you'd never admit it publicly. Nakedness is optional.

16. Let the dirty dishes pile up, the dust collect on the shelves and the smudges cover the surfaces. It's only your dirt. No one else has to see it.

17. Cook that dish your roommate would have hated, and really enjoy it. Or, cook that dish your roommate loved, and don't worry about having to share it.

18. Come home the day after a night of partying. No one questioning you about it.

19. Go to bed at 8pm. Wake up at 4pm. Or 3am. Or go to bed at midnight. It's all the same when you live alone. It only has to be quiet if YOU say it has to be quiet. *wink*

20. Go ahead and light that 18th candle. No one is there to make Wiccan ritual jokes about you. (I like to light a ton of candles at the same time! Sue me!)

21. Spend an entire Sunday afternoon watching Nip/Tuck.

Can you think of any more??? Tee hee this is fun! I can't wait for May 1st! Alone at last! I didn't realize how much I missed not wearing pants. I hereby designate May as "Naked VB Month"!

*and yes, I will be doing most of these, thankyouverymuch. As soon as I find some porn.

24 comments:

Fluffycat said...

Wow, you just gave me a ton of good ideas on how to spend my weekend!

Coco said...

Ah, a girl after my own heart. I have been living on my own for a year and a half now-and let me say, I've done *almost* everything on your list at one point or another.

Nakedness is highly under-rated . . .
as is the fun that females can have watching porn . . .

:)

Petra said...

My personal fav about living alone(which I've been doing for nearly 5yrs now) is not doing dishes if I feel like it. I do have to do mad scrambling if friend want to drop by. Another perk is not doing the laudry until I have to - no one to judge :)
Enjoy VB! The possibilities of stuff you can do in you undies are limitless :)

Anonymous said...

Those hotties you're going to bring home? Why cook breakfast for them when you can serve up ice cream and enjoy it topless? :)

Have fun!

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Well done. There are many things on that list that I have used for years as to why I don't have a roommate.

There are many, many advantages.

teahouse said...

Well, congrats on reclaiming your castle!! You're going to have a great time. I LOVE living alone. I had 2 roommates when I first moved to NYC, and one of them drove me absolutely bananas. Every time she pissed me off, I'd transfer money from my checking to my savings account. Pretty soon, I had a down payment.

The Frog Princess said...

You're making me miss the single life! I hope you enjoy having the place all to yourself!

When Darkness Falls... said...

Ahhh the joys of living alone! I miss those days! I am a single mom but my 2 children are teenagers who have become busy with their own worlds. When they are both away "Mommy" does a lot of the things on your list. Freedom is wonderful! Enjoy!

Len said...

Ooooh yeah. I told you being alone was fun!

Single guy blogging said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Single guy blogging said...

Very hot: #1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Less hot: #2, 3, 8, 9, 13, 14, 16

You're going to have a blast VB! I've been living alone for about 10 years now (yikes, has it been that long??), and I just love it. I like to sometimes come home, put on a funny tv show, make and eat my favorite dinner (eating it out of the pot it cooked in), then putting on some loud music, showering, singing/dancing for a bit, getting ready, and going out at a time of the night when a roomate would wonder if you are crazy! :) Have a great time!!

Anonymous said...

ha! that is awesome! enjoy! i always hate it when people ask me if i ever get lonely or whatever since i live alone too. hells HELLS no! we have tons of friends, tons to do, and when we want to be with people, we invite them over or go out. but when we want to lay on the sofa naked and watch the hills all day saturday (ok, i'm less mature than you with nip/tuck, i'm still in teenybopper tv land) then we can! and i never realized how much you can do naked until you're alone! plus, it is really nice when you have guys over, you don't have to worry about being quiet, or disturbing anyone, it's GREAT! really! haha, oh you are going to have a blast. cheers!

Mieke said...

ha! that was hilarious! I wish you much topless and underwear only wearing in your newfound home alone-ness. I feel jealous, actually!! It has been many years since I have been able to be alone...actually i kinda miss that sometimes! So have fun. And watch out HN and WS!! HN might drop her and be knocking on your door very soon!!! :)

Scotty said...

I sense a nude theme....

I wonder if HN might have a blog, in which case he might refer to you as NN (Nude Neighbor) :)

X said...

Go'head VB! It's your birthday.... Though, I've been getting SO anoyed with all the "friends" my new roommate has over, ALL THE TIME, (she's a major player) I'd like to do some of the naked things so named in front of them! Snap those guys back into reality! (Down girl;)

Kelli said...

I burned my stomach once while ironing in my undies. I still do it though.

I do totally love being alone. Its nice to know that no one else can come in and catch you doing whatever it is that you want to do.

Anonymous said...

I like living alone!!! I learned to appreciate my privacy. I never take for granted peace and quiet. You rule the nest. Nobody used your deorderant or toothpaste.
I can bake at 230am
See You
Steve

Meghan (The Declaration of MY Independence) said...

Ahhh May 1st for both of us! Holy crap! Is it here already?

Now, being that I'm a virgin to all this alone stuff, I'm glad I read your blog entry. Thanks for the ideas! I esp. like the one about dancing around to Britney Spears. Totally something I can see myself doing.

Funny about the "girly room" thing, b/c thats exactly what I plan on doing with her old room. Do you know those paintings they have of french lingere and shoes? TOTALLY going to be all over that room.

I think my favorite thing about living alone is going to be having all of my stuff be in the exact place I left it.

We should have a living alone blog party or something. I'm just glad your as excited as I am!

MC said...

You have managed to make me miss living alone even more now, and I didn't know it was possible.

Anny said...

i thought u owned a house and DID live alone??

meish said...

I love ironing in my underwear, too. Actually, when I'm alone in my apartment, I love doing EVERYTHING in my underwear, especially dancing around my living room and singing along to my favorite tunes at the top of my lungs :) Another great thing about living alone is getting to decorate however you like and not having to worry differing tastes with your roommates.

Kimba said...

Good for you! Congrats and good luck!

MARFSBABY said...

Excellent list! I almost have living alone envy. Have fun being naked!

Virginia Belle said...

fluffycat-- LOL great comment!

coco -- AMEN!!! p.s. your interview questions are coming, promise!

petra -- limitless underwear experiences??? WOOT!!!

alison -- yes, excellent idea. much better than the original.

rwa-- yeah, i may never go back to having a roomie...

teahouse -- this comment made me laugh out loud at work! you crack me up. and that must have been one helluva annoying roomie! wow.

frog princess -- oh yeah. i guess you have to pick up other people's dirty underwear....tee hee! :) don't worry, i'm sure i'll be whining about how lonely i am in a few months.

darkness -- thank you, and i will!

lenfer -- yeah, you did! you are right. i can't wait....one week left!

SGB-- yeah, i figured it would only be fair to paint an accurate picture, not-so-hot stuff and all!

sj-- yup, you pretty much just summed it up! people who hate living alone baffle me. it is SO much better.

mieke -- aw, thanks, but i'm sure that if he got to choose between seeing her naked and seeing me naked, he would pick her. i still have about 20 lbs to lose...

scott -- yeah, there is a theme. not that i'm ever going to be a nudist or anything, but it's a pain in the ass when you are getting dressed and you are naked and you want a glass of water. soon, i will be able to do stuff like that without getting dressed. also, way to give me more stalking ideas. you are my favorite reader today. hmmm...wonder if HN does have a blog....

e-- oh girl. my sympathies. those are the worst kinds of roommates. i should know....

anne-- oh yes, i'm sure i'll burn mine, too. it's ok. i love ironing in my undies.

steve -- YES! more reasons to love living alone.

meghan -- yes, stuff where you left it is probably #1 on my list, too. another good one: all the phone messages are for you.

mc- um, sorry?

anny -- yes, i own a house, but no, i have not lived alone in it yet. sorry for the confusion!

meish-- yes, and your level of "clean" is all you have to worry about. (I am kinda cluttery...)

kimberly -- thanks!

marfsbaby -- thanks! yes, i will!