Wednesday, September 05, 2007


I left off with the Man Buffet that is Copper River on a Thursday night. W, YB and his buddies were with me. I would like to say that something cool happened, but...

1. We all know how non-existant and pathetic my dating life is. Let's not kid ourselves.
2. YB's buddies were successful in totally cockblocking me for the evening.

It would have been great if YB's buddies were hot or super fun, but they were only average in these areas. Oh well. At least they weren't stupid, annoying or drunk. W and YB invited me to tailgate the next day, and they told me to bring whomever. After about an hour, I was bored with talking to YB's buddies, so I went home. The End.

Yeah, I know. Totally lame. But it gets better.

On Friday evening, I was planning on going over to Cute Neighbor's house to invite him to go tailgating with me the next day. He wasn't home. So, I left a short note, telling him I'd be leaving around 3pm for the game.

Saturday, I ran a couple of errands and baked cheesecake for B's birthday. By 2pm, I had called all my friends to tell them that I was not going tailgating. (I hate driving down there and parking all by myself. It's no fun to do that alone. Since I'd given up on CN, and everyone else was already on their way down there, I gave up.) I continued puttering around my house. All my other friends already had plans, so I was resigned to spending the night on my couch, watching a movie with my dogs. No big deal.

At 3pm sharp, Cute Neighbor knocks on my door. He wants to know if I'm still going tailgating. EEK! Excitement and dread fill me: I am sweaty and disheveled from cleaning my house. My hair is dirty. Great.

"Uh, sure. Can I get ready really quickly, though?" I asked.

"Sure. Just come over when you're ready," he replied.

I took the quickest shower in history, threw my hair into a ponytail and refreshed my makeup. About 20 minutes later, I was ready to go, wearing my USC Gamecocks tshirt. We got in my car, and I gave him music selection duties. "You have really good taste in music," he said as he browsed through my CDs.

"Take THAT, Stuckey!" I thought. (Stuckey loves to tell me I have bad taste in music.)

Luckily, I remembered that I had to hit the ATM and get some cash for parking. Unluckily, I did not know that ATM cards have expiration dates on them, and mine expired two months ago. Shit. So that's why my bank sent me that new card....which I stuck somewhere.....note to self: find new ATM card.

I got back in the car and explained my little problem to him. He said he would pay for parking. I was kind of embarrassed, but he seemed totally ok with it. Whew. We made our way through the stadium traffic. Slowly.

For the next hour and a half, he and I talked and talked and talked. I feel very at ease around him, which is good. I didn't feel shy or very nervous at all. Whew. It was a nice relief. We talked about music, our families, our jobs and how we deal with stress. We even talked about our hobbies and our neighbors. Never at any point did we discuss my telephone number or going on a date. Great.

We finally found a parking spot, approximately 400 miles from where we needed to be. As we talked and walked, I was almost hit by a truck. How close? Let's just say they were honking at me. Oops. Between the ATM and playing in traffic, I was coming off as a total dingbat. I guess you can take away my blonde hair, but you cannot take the blonde out of me!

After 2 hours of travel time, we finally arrived at our destination. W, YB and his buddies from the night before greeted us. We had a pretty good time, talking and laughing and munching on goodies as we watched the game. The weather was great, too. The Gamecocks won, which was a nice end to the day.

Unfortunately, the only fireworks going on were over at the stadium endzones.

He's a super sweet guy, and he's really easy to hang out with, because he's so laid back. And we have quite a few things in common. But that is not enough for me. I have gotten the impression that he's a homebody, which doesn't mesh well with my social butterfly lifestyle. He had 8 hours to ask me out or get my number, and he didn't. There was a noticeable lack of flirtatious banter, which I really need to stay interested in a guy. Throw in the fact that he might be taking a job 2 hours away, and he's almost in that dreaded place that men hate: The Friend Zone.


Smug said...

Not that I am any kind of expert (I met my future husband at work), but having guy friends is often very cool - they have other guy friends, who they may hook you up with! I have gotten most of my past dates by meeting new people through my friends. I have always liked my guy friends better than the girl friends anywhy - perhaps because I tend to pick girl friends like your Two Face... Anywhy, the Friend Zone, does not have to be a bad thing!!

mysterygirl! said...

Well, you should feel good about the fact that you had the chance to get to know him better. Even if you feel pretty convinced that you're just friends, at least now you won't be wondering about him and can focus your attentions elsewhere. :)

kimmykins13 said...

Well, I am glad you asked him to tailgate. I was really hoping you would. I think maybe CN just has a lot on his mind right now with his Dad being sick. Of course I wasn't there so I don't know how the course of the conversation went but I understand that there does need to be a certain amount of flirtation- Still, he did come over to your house when he got the note and I think if he wasn't interested he would have just blown it off. Maybe he's just a late bloomer. I wouldn't completely throw it out the back door yet but even if nothing romantic comes of it - at the very least maybe you have made yourself a good friend (who will put your filters in for you hehe).

As far as HN is concerned from your Fri. post - Hoochie was probably just over there that night for a booty call and she probably instigated it. I can understand your frustration with that situation though.

From your Monday post:
I've said this before - Rob Thomas sucks! What a selfish SOB.

Unfortunately there are a lot of catty girls out there like Two Face and Mrs. Chemical - sweet as pie to your face but it is a whole different ballgame the minute your back is turned. I have run into quite a few of these types myself and sometimes it is hard to differentiate (as you found) as to whether they are really as bad as you have been told. I just keep them at arms length. The only way to deal with people like that is with kid gloves. You may not like it but every once in a while you get thrust into a situation where you have to be around people that you just plain don't trust and the only thing you can do is keep the personal to a bare minimum and turn on that southern charm - kill'em with kindness. You handled it the same way I would have.

Anonymous said...

I am proud of you for asking CN to go. While it was not a love connection, you had a good time. Maybe he is handy and can help you around the house. That would be a plus.

Traffic was really bad before the game. It took me over an hour to get to my parking spot near the stadium. At least it didn't rain though. Also, you and your friends are more than welcome to stop by my parking space before a game.

Coco said...

Way to go on taking the initiative. Too bad there wasn't more chemistry going on there . . .
but I have to say, at least there seems to be potential around you. You haven't nailed (haha) down "the one" yet, but you keep bumping into people who at least have potential at the outset. So, don't give up hope . . .you haven't quite entered the dreaded wasteland, totally devoid of single men, that I have. :)

RWA said...

You should kick every one of YB's "cock blocking" buddies right in the nuts.

As far as Cute Neighbor, maybe he didn't ask for your number since you live right across the street?

Stuck said...

For the record, I've never come out and said you have bad taste in music. And if I recall correctly, I even did a little chair-dance in your car one evening to some hip-hop song. So don't be hatin' on me.

For everyone else out there who is rooting for Cute Neighbor, she's already written him of. She's just justifying now. She and MJ can form a club and call it "We Hate Nice Guys" =)

Phantom Hater said...

~stuck - Well, why would you root for a guy who has an *entire day* to make a move and doesn't? How is that a nice guy? That's a guy displaying *zero interest* and he should be written of (sic). It's one thing if VB's insecurities and quirkiness throws a somewhat shy guy off his game at first, but jeez, CN should have gotten the digits or set up a follow-up date.

You might also pin all this down to VB being very certain never to give off any signals that she's interested, although I've never actually seen her work in person. A true Southern belle should know how to flirt inherently, and only a brick of a guy wouldn't pick up on that. I think the PUA guy who commented here a few posts back had some cool-sounding acronym for those signals. Some guys just won't make a move unless a woman grabs their junk.

Anonymous said...

Look at it this know more about him. Makes for better friends I reckon'

I mean...he atleast paid for parking! ;)

FRIGGA said...

I say that was successful! At least now you know he's interested in you, but that you aren't really interested in him and no more fretting :-)
Plus having a friendly man neighbor can be very helpful for things like AC filter changing ;-)

Phantom Hater said...

Yeah, he paid for parking...but didn't even bother to park. Ba-bing! It's my new thing. I'm already sick of it.

Phantom Hater said...

What's the plumbing story? Did Rob lay the pipe? Ba-bing! OK, that's the last time. Promise.

Lisa said...

At least you know that he's not the kind of guy you want to date. That's a step ahead. And The Friend Zone isn't such a bad thing. Like Smug said... He might have some hot single friends.

Scotty said...

Success. You went on a date, and got to hang out with him a bunch.

As far as the phone number, maybe he figured he didn't need it since you were neighbors?

And the flirting, maybe he is a late bloomer. Maybe he was a little nervous being around your friends?

If he gets put into the friend zone, at least you have another.. and maybe he has friends :)

teahouse said...

Yes, so friends!! Like the others have commented, guy friends always have more're golden, VB!! Good things are coming your way, my friend! I just know it.

M said...

Well, maybe starting out with a slow burn is better than fire. I know that most of my relationships start out hot and heavy then die. So, I keep thinking that going the friendship route is the better way.

M said...

PS...RWA's comment makes sense! maybe he didn't ask for your number because you live so close. Really, guys are not complicated. He probably had no ulterior motive for not asking for your number. Since you are his neighbor he doesn't need your number to make the next connection.

Anonymous said...

Your life sounds like mine! Awful dates! At least you remain both funny and optimistic. Hang in there and don't settle for the "friend" zone. That is a zone I run from these days. You will likely get a kick out of my own stories on Let me know what you think!