Monday, October 15, 2007

Too Good to Be True?

Warning: This post may induce vomiting due to its sugary-sweet goopy mushiness.

I'm starting to wonder if CN is a real person, or merely a figment of my Overactive Imagination. Examples:

1. Changing our status on myspace to "in a relationship" was his idea, not mine. (Cliche, I know. But I get little warm fuzzies everytime I see it. Aw. And yes, PH, I realize this dooms the relationship! LOL) Usually I am the one who wants to define the relationship first. But I feel so secure in this relationship (a total first for me), I just figured we'd get there eventually. No worries. (That being said, I would encourage every single girl reading this to keep dating until you find that guy who makes you feel REALLY secure in the relationship. It is an awesome feeling!!! I'm thinking, "OH! So this is how it's supposed to be! Aha!" You cannot put a price on it. There is an unquestioned trust, and it's amazing.)

2. He does the following, without my having to bring it up: mows my lawn, takes out my trash, helps me carry stuff, holds my purse when I need an extra hand, helps me walk my dogs, takes my trash to the dump when I miss the morning trash pickup -- which is often. It's the little things that count, you know?

3. Nothing fazes him. Not my messy room, not my estrogen-fueled emotional breakdowns, not my zits, not the crazy stories about my weird family, not my terrifying addiction to sugar, not my financial woes, not my barfing on our first date, not my cellulite, not even the scary/weird/depressing stories about my exes. When my dirty little secrets come out, I am still accepted.

4. Yesterday, we were on our way to Wal-Mart and were stuck behind a car that had broken down. Most people would go around it or do a U-turn and leave the scene to go find an alternate route. Not my boyfriend! He put his car in park and got out to help the total stranger push his car out of the intersection. Who does that???

5. Over dinner last night, he was telling me about how he's picky about leftovers. When he has a to-go box of restaurant leftovers, he won't leave them in the car because they get gross. And if he's driving his Jeep, he won't even keep them at all, because the Jeep's interior is open like a convertible would be and he worries someone walking down the street will open the box and spit on his food or something. (Because that's what people do...look for open cars so they can spit in a total stranger's restaurant leftovers....LOL) Anyway, he said that one night he got a pizza before meeting up with a friend at a bar, but he couldn't finish the whole pizza. Since he was driving the Jeep, he didn't have anywhere to keep the leftovers "safe" from random spitters, so he gives the rest of his pizza to a homeless guy. Again, who does that??? And he wasn't bragging about it or anything -- he told me this story like everyone just gives their dinners away to homeless people all of the time. "Sometimes, you make me feel like an asshole," I said when he finished. He was puzzled.

6. He wanted me to meet his parents this weekend, but told me that if I wasn't ready, it was no big deal. Although I was a little nervous to meet his dad (who was described as someone who is very difficult to please -- nothing is ever good enough for him, apparently), I said ok. And I LOVE his parents. They are scarily similar to my parents, actually. His parents already knew a bunch of stuff about me, because CN had told them all about me. CN's parents are so funny and very, very nice to me! His dad even invited me to come to CN's hometown for a big festival they have in November. I even got good-bye hugs from his mom and dad. Aw.

7. CN's birthday is next week. I asked him what he wants for his special birthday dinner, and he said, "Oh, whatever you want to eat, babe, is fine with me!" -- Who does that???!! I actually had to argue with him that it's his birthday and he can eat whatever he wants. I had to drag it out of him that he wanted chili and cheesecake! LOL We had to have the same conversation about his birthday present (halfway through, I realized that he'd really like Falcons tickets, so I shut up then!). He was never going to speak up about what he wanted to get! "Oh, you don't have to get me anything!" -- Who does that??? When it's my birthday, I practically type up a list for everyone! (Hopefully, this means he will be totally overwhelmed at the Falcons tickets!)

8. He drives across the street (picture how silly that looks, y'all) to pick me up. And last night, he backed his car into my driveway so that I could unload my groceries more easily. But then he ended up unloading them all for me. He could have just parked at his house and made me carry my own groceries across the street, which is what most people would have done. Which was what I was planning on doing. Time and time again, he proves to be even more thoughtful than I would ever have hoped. It's like he can read my mind and then takes it one step farther. He anticipates things even before I think of them. I told him he needs to hold Good Boyfriend Seminars and charge $250/person. Men need to learn from him.

9. He has the ability to make me be nice to everyone, even annoying students and boring old people. I have found myself being more patient and driving more safely, too. I think before I buy (he's really good with money) and I think before I eat (he's a far better eater than I am). If he ever found out that I was rude to a stranger, had a car accident due to my impatient driving or that I was short with an old lady, I would die of embarrassment. Even when he's not around, I try to live up to his expectations. I think I'm dating a saint. I don't think I've ever admired a boyfriend so much. Even The Czarina doesn't have that much influence on me. He and I joke about how I should wear a "What Would CN Do?" bracelet.

10. He tells me that I spoil him. [Insert shock and awe here.] I literally replied with, "Huh?!" I have cooked for him a few times. And I took him to breakfast the other day. I keep my legs shaved. But that's it. And he thinks I'm awesome. Wow. That was easy.

I know it's not good to put people on a pedestal (I myself hate being on them--too much pressure), but I can't help it! I guess to me, he just stands out, head and shoulders above the rest. I'm not saying that I don't deserve him (because frankly, after all the crap I've been through, I think I've earned this!), but he definitely makes me want to be on top of my game and keep him around until further notice.

Of course, eventually, I will screw this all up. Or he will. It's too good to be true. There's no way that he's normal. He probably buries bodies in his backyard or something. Right? I mean, by now, every guy I've ever dated has let me down in some way or another. CN hasn't done it yet. I'm not saying he's perfect (if I had my way, he would stoppit with his Howard Stern addiction). I just keep telling myself, "Oh, the other shoe will drop soon enough, he'll do something stupid and I won't look at him the same way anymore. Or I'll do something really stupid and mess it all up and fall into a deep and lonely depression." -- but it STILL hasn't happened yet! Part of me kind of wants to get it over with, you know?

It's sort of like being on a roller coaster. It's so fun, but so scary at the same time. You're sure you're going to die, but you don't, and that just makes it so much more wonderful. I haven't felt this lucky in a long time. Maybe I'm just slowly going insane and he's actually an average guy. Or even worse, an imaginary boyfriend. Gah, is he even real???


Dixie said...

"Gah, is he even real?"

Totally reminds me of this movie trailor I saw last night. Can't remember the name of it, but the guy tells everyone he's got this fantabulous girl friend and she's a manequin. But everybody pretends that she's real. It looks good!

RWA said...

Just to clarify ... this is the same guy who, a while back, you proclaimed wasn't the least bit interested, and the feeling was mutual.

Isn't that correct?


lenfercestlesautres said...

I'm sorry. I just barfed from all that mushiness ;)

When Darkness Falls... said...

Aww! That is so sweet! Just sit back and enjoy the fact that you have finally found a good guy! Like you said, you've kissed your share of frogs already!

The K Life said...

geez, too freakin cute!!

Phantom Hater said...

Thank God you stopped at 10.

CN is definitely building up a huge amount of karma.
I myself like to eat my pizza in front of starving homeless people, slowly licking my lips after finishing each piping hot slice. I'm kidding!

Everyone has their bad qualities. Some people, like myself, have a seething mass of them. I'm sure you'll start seeing them (you already know, for example, that his back isn't quite hairy enough) after the honeymoon phase is over, but he does sound like an honest-to-goodness nice guy, and that's a super important quality.

~dixie--That story sounds like it's been done before...oh, it has...and the movie was called Mannequin. It had the old slutty chick from Sex and the City in it.

Alison said...

This is just too sweet. :) I think you should just enjoy this good thing you've got.

I can't wait to hear what he thinks of the Falcons tickets!

JP said...

You're a lucky girl! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this works out for you!

teahouse said...

How lovely!!

I can't stop giggling, picturing him getting into his car and backing it across the street into your driveway to get the groceries closer...

Meghan (The Declaration of MY Independence) said...

I'm so happy that you finally got what you deserved. Gush as much as you want, you've earned it girl!

Stuck said...

It's awesome that you've found an "unsullied gentleman."

Just think... once you break his heart and make him bitter, he'll be just like the rest of us assholes. ;)

sassafras said...

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop too. But you know what? It never did and a week ago we got married.

Yes, he is real and you deserve him!!!

* meish * said...

so happy for you, VB!

dixie - it's Lars and the Real Girl, and she's no mannequin, she's an inflatable doll!

Coco said...

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and hopeful just to hear you talk about a guy like that being out there.

And yeah, the shine of the new will rub off a bit at some point--but you know, I know a lot of people who, years later, still think the one they're with is just about as good as you can get.

That's fabulous, just fabulous.

GrewUpRural said...

I am glad that you are so happy. You definitely deserve it. It's nice to be in a relatioship with a nice guy. I am finding that out for myself right now.

Megan said...

Just sit back and enjoy the ride!

Virginia Belle said...

dixie -- yes, i know what movie you're talking about. and it DOES sound just like Mannequin!

rwa-- ok, challenge accepted! i'm looking through my archives right now and will post my results later!

len-- i'm sorry! i tried to warn you. it makes me want to barf when i re-read it, myself. does that make you feel better??

when darkness falls -- trust me, i am enjoying it!!!

the k life -- yes, but all the schmoopiness is really unnecessary! i need to stop.

PH-- yes, i actually had a #11, but i will share that later. i'm sure that reality will smack me in the face sooner or later. i'm not THAT stupid. and yes, i do wish he was hairier. but really, if that and the howard stern addiction are my biggest complaints......then i think that's pretty good!! and the old slut you are referring to is Kim Catrall. She's a terrible actress. but i love her anyway.

you say you have a mass of bad qualities, but aside from being totally obnoxious, i don't know what you're referring to.......LOL

i spelled "obnoxious" correctly this time. :P

alison-- OMG, i am like a little kid in anticipation for christmas!!! EEEEEK!!! i can't wait to give them to him!!!! he has NO IDEA i'm giving him those.

jp-- yes, i feel VERY lucky!

teahouse -- yes, it is funny. it sort of reminds me of that scene in austin powers, where he has to do a 50-point turn to turn around!

meghan-- gush gush gush!!!! i will stop, eventually, i promise!

STUCK!!! I'm going to smack you! stoppit with your cynicism!!!! damn, why you gotta rain on my parade? :)

sassafrass-- YAY!!!!!!!!! that is wonderful news!!! i have to run over to your blog and catch up. congratulations!!! good to hear that the shoe never dropped!

meish-- aw, thanks!!! and ew, blow up doll???

coco -- yes, they are out there!!!! look for the skinny, geeky ones who are shy. they are the keepers. i shoulda done this years ago...

grewuprural -- yeah, see??? it's nice, huh? *sigh*

megan-- *sits back, propping feet on desk, hands clasped behind head*

The Frog Princess said...

After I made it to #3 I was thinking, 'Marry him.' I read #s 4 through 10 and I am now convinced. You two should get hitched and proceed to have dozens of babies (or at least one or two). It sounds like he's the same kind of guy my Frog is: way too good to be true.

Now for some mushiness of my own: I'M SO FREAKIN' HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!

one girl said...

oh my goodness! All of those things are too incredibly sweet :) I think that he's a figment of your imagination...