Monday, November 12, 2007

Quiz Answers

Alright, people. Let's go over the quiz answers before I announce the winner.

1. I have never been to California. I have never been west of Kansas, actually.
2. I have a seriously difficult time avoiding shoe sales or the makeup counters.
3. I have never been a telemarketer, because I hate telemarketers. If you answered this one incorrectly, perhaps you need to read this post.
4. My dogs are Boston Terriers. In case you don't know what that kind of dog looks like, here is a pic of my Sammy. And my boobs:
Now that you have seen my boobs, I don't want any whining about the lack of boobage on this blog.
5. I drive a piece-of-shit Pontiac. True to form, it is currently in the shop. As soon as I find a ride to the mechanic's after work, I can have my stupid car back (oh, the joy) for a measly $160. It's still cheaper than a car payment, I guess...
6. Not very many people got this one -- The name "Virginia Belle" is one of the nicknames my dad used to call me. That's where I got the name. NOT from the nudie girl. Major props to peeps who got this -- it has been mentioned a whopping ONE time in this blog's history. Gold stars for you!
7. Ok, ok, this was kind of a trick question. Do I like camping? Do I like the beach? No, and yes, respectively. But I would rather go to NYC than anywhere in the whole world. Yes, even Italy, which is something I never thought I'd say. Very few people got this one, either. So don't feel badly if you missed it.
8. I spent my undergrads at Indiana (Go Hoosiers!!) and then went to South Carolina for library school (so, yes, if you are a librarian, that means you did indeed go to grad school).
9. I eat the same thing for breakfast pretty much every morning. I am weird. I can play Tetris, Scattergories and Taboo for days on end. I am obsessive. I break out into a cold sweat when presented with brown crickets, diving or heights. I am a wuss. So that leaves A) I am a librarian and I love it. I cannot imagine doing anything else. NOT!!!!
10. And yes, I have dated a guy with three balls, a jerk who ate half my dinner and a guy who ended up being gay. Please, hold your applause. *takes a bow* And this may/may not have been a flawed question, as I cannot find any evidence in previous posts about the gay guy I dated in college. So if you were scratching your head on that one, my bad. I don't think I mentioned it. If you want the whole story, remind me to post it. My friends IRL (in real life) probably all know it, because they like to laugh at me, and this is a good factoid for that purpose.

So if you took the quiz (there were 27 of you, which makes me happy, because that is my favorite number), I am saying "Thank you! You are cool!" But I'm sure you are thinking, "Shut up and tell us who won!"

To which I reply: MJ cheated and signed up her dog to take the quiz, so that she could take it a second time, because she didn't get 100% the first time around. So actually, the winner of the quiz, with a perfect score of 100 is: Tater.

Don't let that face fool you -- he has an amazing ability to listen and remember things. And although he has never seen me naked, I'm sure he is rather ambivalent about the opportunity. He has already seen what I look like, although probably not well, since he has an eye condition. Naked pics or PG-rated pics would probably be the same to him. So unfortunately for my readers, my fractionally-anonymous clothed and/or nekkid body will remain internet-proofed. Um, as far as I know, anyway.

I had a good weekend, aside from my car acting up. The dashboard light lit up again. It says "Service Engine Soon" but it might as well say "You Drive a Piece of Shit". Anyway, it's fixed now, and waiting on me to go shell out $160 to pay for the "stuck open thermostat" which may be mechanic-speak for "my kid's braces". Ugh. How the hell can replacing one dinky thermostat cost so damn much?? I can buy a thermometer from the drugstore for about $5.00 -- cant' they just use that? I guess I should stop complaining. Normally, my repairs are about $300.

Let's move on, shall we? Ok. I'm trying to focus on the upside: CN is picking me up after work today to take me to go get my car. Aw, what a good boyfriend!! +500 points.

Speaking of him, he is involved in the highlight of my weekend. Without this highlight, my weekend would have been nothing but lazy slothdom: watching movies, eating candy, baking, cooking, board games, shopping, napping.....*yawn!*

Where was I? Oh yes. On Saturday, I went with CN to go meet up with his parents for lunch. We met each other halfway in-between Columbia (where CN and I are) and Barnwell (where CN's parents are). I am referring to the metropolis that is Neeses, SC. (Nudie pic for anyone reading this who has actually been to Neeses, SC -- pending evidentiary proof, of course.)

So we meet up in Neeses for lunch. Which is difficult to do, considering Neeses (pop. 407) is so small that there AREN'T any restaurants. Not even fast food ones. At first look, this might seem to be a stumbling block in our plans, but we do have a solitary dining choice: the grocery store.

Oh yes, you read that correctly. The Piggly-Wiggly in Neeses, SC has a built-in restaurant. They have fantastic soft serve ice cream! They serve breakfast, even! They have nightly specials! And senior citizen discounts! And greasy, laminated menus! And tables that are 25% smaller than they should be! As if this isn't enough, here is the kicker:

If you go to the meat department, and pick out something you want to eat (whether it's a steak or 20 chicken wings or 1 lb of ground beef), you can take it into the restaurant, and they will cook it for you AND give you a choice of baked potato or french fries for only an additional charge of...........drumroll, please...........$1.88!!!

This is, according to CN's dad, THE. COOLEST.THING. EVER. Which cracks me up, because my dad would have thought it was the coolest thing ever.

So we go to the meat department, and everyone selects a steak except me.

"Um, I'm kind of in the mood for a burger. They have burgers, right?" I mumbled sheepishly.

All three of them stopped dead, holding packages of raw meat in their hands. They turned to look at me in unison, shocked and awed that I am not rummaging through the steaks.

"But you can pick anything you want! Anything! And they will cook it!" said CN's dad, astonished.
"Oh, come on now, getcha a steak," said CN's mom.
"It's only $1.88, what's wrong with you?" said CN, teasingly.

"I'm the mood for a that ok?" I asked.

"Oh, but getcha a steak, now, come on," said his mom.
"You don't want a steak?" continued his dad, still amazed that I would want to eat something other than a steak. The man was seriously shocked, y'all. It was almost as if I'd told him I honestly believed the world was flat.

"But I don't want a steak. Am I allowed to get something other than a steak?" I whispered to CN.
"Of course you are. We just always get steaks. You can get a burger, too. But just pick up a steak. It will make my dad feel better," CN explained.
"You can take it home with you, it's no big deal. Just get both," his mother explained, under her breath.

As soon as I grabbed a steak, CN's dad seemed to feel a lot better. So when we ordered, I got a cheeseburger in addition to my steak.

Now, you might be thinking this is a really strange interaction. Why are three people telling a 28 year old woman what she should eat for lunch? That's absurd. And you would be correct in your beliefs. But I was strangely comforted by their insistence. Why? Because my father used to do the SAME THING to all of us when we were growing up. From the time I was in diapers, I would have to listen to his comments every time I ate:

"You're eating that? When we have leftover turkey? Oh, you should go get some of that turkey."
"Don't you want to put some pepper on that? You really should put some pepper on it."
"You're eating that all wrong. You can't put maple syrup on that. No one puts maple syrup on that. What's wrong with you? You are ruining it by putting maple syrup on it."

So I am used to having people tell me what I should eat/not eat and how to eat it "properly". I am also used to ignoring them and eating what I damn well please. :)

My dad died almost three years ago. I miss his food criticism. It was nice to hear it from someone. I like CN's parents. They are a lot like mine.


Meghan (The Declaration of MY Independence) said...

Awww it was meant to be *squeal!*

Just kidding, but that is really nice. I'm so glad things are finally working for you in your favor. Besides the POS car, but hey, thats peanuts compared to this! :)

Stuck said...

Careful with the promises of nudie pics. I went to Neeses quite a bit in college, because a friend of mine up there was FROM Neeses, and he'd bum rides from me to see his girlfriend. Give the pic to CN, though. I've sworn off porn until I can find something else to do with my hands. ;)

Alison said...

I'm so excited, I got the Virginia Belle question and the NYC question right! Can't say as much for the other questions though. I can't believe you let a dog win your contest. C'mon!

M said...

I got the Virginia Belle question correct but flunked the rest of the test. My coworkers complain I don't listen to them enough.

Well, I contend that I focus on certain details (hopefully, but not always the important details) and the rest of the stuff is not retained in my noggin. Must be the same when I read a blog.

The K Life said...

i've yet to find a guy who's family reminds me of my family. i bet it's nice. :)

RWA said...

That does NOT count as a boob picture. The dog is covering up all of one and most of the other one!!!

Neeses, South Carolina. I was there once - by accident. We ended up on Highway 321. I don't recall this grocery store/restaurant (although it sounds completely cool), but there was a barbecue place - G&G, I believe it was called. It was pretty good, and the service was outstanding.

There was also a bar/"club" (if there is a "club" in Neeses) down from the barbecue place called Shakers. I was interested; my friend wasn't in the least. Unfortunately, it was just after lunch and they weren't open.

I'll be waiting on my pictures.

GrewUpRural said...

It's great that you get along well with his parents. My parents are one of a kind-in a bad way. I wouldn't want his parents to be like them. That would be a deal breaker for me.

Virginia Belle said...

meghan-- ok, don't turn into one of those recently-engaged women who is ultra-optimistic about love. i will barf. but yes, it is nice. :)

stuck-- ummm.........oh. kay. guess i didn't plan on anyone having actually been to neeses.......right.

alison-- well, tell MJ to stop cheating!! she was actually the real winner, but i'm not giving her credit because she cheated.

M--i actually thought this was the most important and most difficult question, so it's a good thing!

K life -- is is! kinda weird, but good!

rwa-- Ok, seriously, how have TWO of my readers actually been to Neeses??? that is as good as it's going to get as far as boobie pics are concerned. so, tough! i think we saw "shakers" when we were driving around, actually. i am not going to email you a nudie pic (because there aren't any of me) but i may send you a G-rated one.

grew up rural -- luckily, CN's mom isn't TOO much like The Czarina, or else it would be a deal-breaker for me, too!

Kari said...

You and MJ are killing me with this private blog stuff! Can you ask her to add me kese417 at gmail dot com. Thanks!!

KT said...

Hey... don't I get any recognition for how well I did on the quiz the first time around!! Sniff.... you all hate me I swear !! I am going to go and cry now.... I HOPE YOUR HAPPY!!!!

xoxoxooxoxoxo.... I will miss my ponies when I am gone yet again.....!!

Becky said...

im so glad his parents are like yours. that is so comforting i bet. my dad's only been gone for not even 6 mos but it feels like an eternity

Jen said...

Okay, I think I would've been totally annoyed by the whole 'steak' situation. But I guess that's because I just spent 4 days with my in-laws in Atlanta and didn't even get to go to the Cheesecake Factory because we were too busy shopping for a Plasma that my father-in-law never intended to buy in the first place!!! $#@*&^%!!! *takes a deep breath*

And I didn't take the quiz since we've been out of town, but I know I would've sucked at it since I've only been reading your blog for a few months.

And Sammy is such a cutie. :)

Matilda Jane said...

Tater says: mm... murph.... SNORT!

Phantom Hater said...

MJ is such a cheater. I missed the question about the gay guy and the telemarketing, I think. I retain a lot of useless information, although some of the factoids from this blog stick in my mind more than others. You already know about my fascination with the 3-balled guy.

You handled the "steak incident" better than I would. I get irritated when people are so stuck in their ways that they don't understand why everyone isn't like them. A similar thing happened when my EEEEGF's mom forced a Bloody Mary on me even after I told her repeatedly I think they are absolutely disgusting, and then guilt-tripped me for not drinking it. She just couldn't understand why anyone could possibly *not* like a Bloody Mary.
I can be very stubborn, and I'm very a point.

Now, I realize the above statement may sound a little hypocritical considering the very opinionated grief I give some people on their blogs, and the fact that I think hippies and vegetarians are, in fact, alien beings, since they don't conform to what I consider the only rational set of beliefs a normal human being could possibly possess, but that's different. I wouldn't shove a pork sandwich down a vegan's throat or thrust a hippie into the shower.