Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I Now Pronounce You...Diet Queen


Have I told you that my friend (and MJ's old roommate) KT is getting married next June?


Did I mention that KT asked me to be a bridesmaid?

She did. I accepted.

Today, I was informed that the bridesmaid dresses have been selected. They will be light green and are described by KT as "sexy". Here is a photo of the dress:

Pretty, right? Except for that one part where KT describes the dress as "sexy". This is an ominous word to anyone who is currently 30 pounds overweight, such as yours truly. Especially when that person has hips as wide as the Mississippi. And the dress is clingy in the hip area. For me to wear dresses like this AND still have the ability to sit down, it is necessary that I lose a LOT of inches in the hip/ass area of my body.

"Ok, I might need to think about getting serious in the diet and exercise arena in preparation for this wedding," I thought to myself.

"This will be good. You were looking for some motivation to get going on losing some weight," I thought.

"And even if you don't lose a ton of weight, like you should, at least everyone will be looking at the bride, not you," I comforted myself.

"And at least you love the light green color she picked out," I thought.

Then MJ pointed out that the other bridesmaids are probably all aerobics instructors, like KT.

[Insert panic here.]

Now, if you will excuse me, I have 14 miles to run, followed by a dinner of water and 3 grapes.

Update on Tuesday morning: I only had ONE twizzler yesterday. Everything else I ate was relatively nutritional. :) It's a start, right??? Hopefully, I will be going to the gym tonight. No time like the present!


RWA said...

I was waiting to see [insert smack MJ upside the head] in there somewhere after the aerobics instructor comment.

I'm sure you'll look great.

teahouse said...


I'm sorry; I don't mean to laugh at your pain, but this was a pretty funny post.

I'm sure you'll be fine! Maybe the dresses are made of Spandex, and you'll be the sexiest, curviest one. Rawr!!

Virginia Belle said...

rwa -- it would have been more along the lines of-- "i was hoping you wouldn't say that, MJ." Because i had a sinking feeling she was going to ask the aerobics instructors to be bridesmaids....oh dear....this is going to be a long few months......

teahouse -- i am always the curviest one. always. for once in my life, i would like to NOT be the curviest one. and by curvy, i mean the euphemistic definition -- plump. and not in a good way.

kimmykins13 said...

I'm sure you will look great! It's a really pretty dress!! Now you know how I felt last year when I was telling you about the two weddings I was in. Fortunately both weddings were within 2 months of each other but I started watching it the moment I started trying the dresses on. Hey, at least you have about eight months in which to take off as much as you want to. Personally (since I know what you look like) I think you are way to hard on yourself!! You will be a lovely Bridesmaid.

Meghan (The Declaration of MY Independence) said...

I think you will look hot, hot, hot in that dress!

And congrats to KT! When did this happen?

Sonri said...

Same issue and my new plan is Spanx! The best excercise plan EVER! :)

Fluffycat said...

I second the Spanx idea. It's amazing what stuff can be taken care of by that.

Having been the shortest bridesmaid and sometimes the heaviest bridesmaid, don't worry about it. Use that bouquet to hide your flaws. Get big hair so people will look at your face. Haha. Hang in there, VB. I feel your pain.

PomJob said...

I would never ask my bridesmaids to wear a dress like that! It's gorgeous, but way too form-fitting for the comfort of most people. But if the other 'maids are aerobics instructors, they might not be as self conscious as me. I'm sure you'll look fab and you're just being hard on yourself.

Phantom Hater said...

No sweat! You can do it!!