tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188791542024-03-12T22:11:31.958-04:00Virginia BelleTales of a smart, single Southern girl navigating the Ocean of Insanity that is her life. It's a long story.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.comBlogger527125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-60452983602418287622016-11-24T07:08:00.000-05:002016-11-24T07:08:11.209-05:00I'm Back?I've missed blogging and have been thinking about starting a new blog. I even started setting it up in Blogger. I haven't decided if I want to completely abandon this one, though. I have lots of great memories here and lots of great readers (who are probably long gone by now).<br />
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For those of you who have been wondering what I've been up to since my last post in 2013, the answer is a LOT. The short version:<br />
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The guy I was dating in 2013 DID put a ring on it (actually, it is my grandmother's ring) and we got married in April 2014. (I should give you the run-down of my wedding experience, no?)<br />
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My father-in-law died very suddenly and unexpectedly in August 2014.<br />
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We moved in with my mother-in-law to keep her company and to save up money for a bigger house.<br />
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A month later, we found out we were pregnant. [insert excited noises here] Baby is not only healthy, but has been the joy of my life so far -- seriously, we made a wonderful child. Good sleeper, good eater, happy and laid-back kid. Oh, and I loved being pregnant. I felt great for the most part. Could have done without the kankles and pre-eclampsia. Oh, and the failed induction was not pleasant...at ALL. But overall, I've been extremely lucky in the mothering department. Please don't hate me. I know a lot of women struggle. I just got lucky. (Man, I should post about my labor & delivery experience.......that was quite a saga.)<br />
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After two years of living with my MIL (who is the most awesome MIL ever, btw), we bought our house this past July.<br />
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So now I have a husband, a toddler and a house that has so far proved to be a money pit (more on that later). Unfortunately, I also now have cats, thanks to my husband. But it's ok. He's worth it.<br />
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I think I'm coming back, y'all. I have all kinds of ideas for posts floating around in my head. Being a full time working mom gives you lots of kindling for venting and sharing. I've been toying with the idea of giving The Hot Girl Lifestyle its own blog, since I'm always on a quest for self-improvement, but am just not sure I want to abandon this blog. I'll continue to post here until I decide. In any case, let's get this party started!<br />
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Also, Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all!!!!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-38303862272272894592013-03-01T17:39:00.000-05:002013-03-01T17:39:30.534-05:00RingWatch 2013?Hi, everyone. I miss you. I miss blogging and reading other blogs like I used to. I would like to say that I will be blogging more, but I don't know if I will. You see, my day usually goes like this:<br />
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5am (sometimes) -- get up and go for a run or hit the gym. Ok, full disclosure.....lately, it's been like, twice a month. Usually I sleep in until....<br />
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6:30am -- wake up at boyf's, walk and feed dog. Eat breakfast, then go to my house to get ready for work.<br />
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9am -- go to work. Yes, it takes me that long to get ready. There is significant dawdling. Unfortunately, I am already supposed to <i>be</i> at work at this time.....<br />
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9:20 -- actually arrive at work. I am lucky to have a boss that doesn't care I do this every day. Mostly because she spends the vast majority of her day on the phone, arguing with her lawyer or yelling at her soon-to-be-ex-husband. Or dealing with some other personal life fiasco. I detest my job. My boss is a big part of it. Don't get me wrong, she's a really nice, funny, cool person. I would <i>totally</i> go on vacation with her. I just hate working for her. I should really write a post about work...I have venting that needs to be done.<br />
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5:20 -- time to go home. Yes, I make up all the time because I was raised Catholic and if I don't work exactly 40 hours/week, I will go to Hell. If you're not Catholic in any way, you will never understand this. <br />
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5:40 -- get home, walk dog, put on comfy clothes (bye-bye, bra!). Boyfriend calls me to have our daily debate: will I make dinner at my house or will I make dinner at his house or will we go out to dinner. I hardly ever make dinner at my house, despite the fact that I much MUCH prefer cooking at my place (he doesn't have a vegetable peeler....or many other things you need to cook with. Which is fine, because he's a bachelor. But lugging my kitchen stuff over to his house all the time gets old sometimes.) He usually wins the debate. Which is fairly logical, because, as he points out, I always spend the night over at his house anyway. (He has a queen-size bed. Nuff said.)<br />
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Sometime in the evening -- I get to his house. We usually watch Jeopardy while eating dinner. Then we watch more tv until I fall asleep at 10pm. He is a freak who needs 5 hours of sleep every night, so he stays up.<br />
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If you review the list above, you will notice a lack of the following lifestyle activities: exercise, hanging out with girlfriends, blogging, puttering around my own house and doing things that do not involve a screen -- TV or otherwise. Unless we are at work or a doctor's appointment, we are probably together.<br />
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...and that is why I have put on 15 pounds. And why my house is a mess. And why I haven't paid my taxes yet. Or done any number of me-time things. Like blog. Or buy some new iTunes. The only reason I am doing this today is because I took the day off.<br />
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If you're anything like me, right now you are screaming at your computer, saying, "Dude! What are you doing? You have morphed into a 'we' and have forgotten the 'me'! This is not healthy for you or your relationship! Carve out some me time -- STAT!" <br />
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And you'd be right. But trust me, it's easier said than done. Mostly because he is my most favoritest person EVER in the whole world and I never get sick of hanging out with him. When I do have "VB time", I spend a lot of it wishing he was with me -- I just wish he was in the other room so I can get some stuff done.<br />
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Now, before you all begin gagging yourselves with spoons, I can tell you that we do argue. We have some things we will never agree on, like the fact that I would like his home to be free of cats and he would like it if I would be better about taking my dirty dishes to the kitchen. (I am notorious for leaving them on the coffee table.) But there is no one I'd rather argue with. Does that make sense?<br />
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I recently read an article where the author interviewed several couples. Each couple has been married for eons, and the author was trying to crack the case: what is the secret to a long marriage? Typically, the answer was never defined in this piece (article FAIL), but one part did stick out to me:<br />
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<i>Author, addressing ancient husband</i>: Did you ever have moments where you didn't want to be with her?<br />
<i>Ancient husband</i>: Not be with her? What? No. Never. But did I ever want to kill her? YES. Many times.<br />
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And I totally understood.<br />
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So yes, it is going splendidly. We agree that this is what we've both been looking for all these years and we can't believe we dated all those other people who were so wrong for us. We talk about the future all the time. He gets upset if I speak of my future in a way that implies I'd be doing it as a single woman. We have named our children. Well, ok, we have named the first one. If it's a girl. I have started to realize that my future doesn't make sense if he's not in it. To quote <i>The Princess Bride</i>, it's inconceivable. Even The Czarina and MJ are asking me "So..............are you engaged yet????"<br />
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I have to reassure them that RingWatch 2013 is still on. But knowing him, he has stuff planned and up his sleeves, and I am totally clueless. Who knows. Part of me is screaming, "I AM 34!!!! LET'S GET A MOVE ON!!!" but and equal part of me is just happy I found him and I'm enjoying the ride. Ok, that's a lie. It's more like 80/20, respectively. My ovaries are shriveling, people. This ratio may grow even more lopsided if personal milestones continue to pass by without any bended knees taking place. New Year's? Nope. Valentine's Day? Earrings instead. (Which I adore, for the record.) Birthday? Well, at this point, he's 48 hours late....so I'm not holding my breath. Some of you are doing the math and wish to point out that we've only been dating for 9 months. To that, I say, shut the hell up because you're probably a smug married with a baby on your knee. When you know, you <i>know</i>. May 23rd will be one year, so perhaps then???<br />
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I have come to realize that good relationships are just as difficult to manage and understand as bad ones. With other guys (read: most of the jerks I dated), I was so wrapped up with "Does he<i> really</i> love me? Is he interested in committing?" Most of my mental energy was wrapped up in determining if he liked me. Now, most of my mental energy is split between 1) doing what I need to do to make this relationship a priority in my life and keep him happy and 2) figuring out how to fit him into my life without losing myself in the process. So it's a juggling game. I'm trying to navigate it. If you sagacious smug marrieds have any advice on how to do this, please impart your wisdom. I wish I could say I feel smothered...........but I don't. This is making it difficult.<br />
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In a deliciously serendipitous finale to this post, he and I just called each other at the exact. same. moment. We are ridiculous.<br />
<br />Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-87731225543927108532012-12-30T14:25:00.000-05:002012-12-30T14:25:18.811-05:00Long AbsenceHello, my ever-patient readers! Yes, I am still here in Richmond, and still loving it. I know it has been a long, long time since I've posted last. This is due in large part to the fact I have fallen in love with the guy I've been dating since last May. Remember the blind date? We've been inseparable ever since. He's got everything I've been looking for for so many lonely, single-girl years: brains, good looks, a great family, ambition, great sense of humor, similar goals, similar beliefs, common interests.......and he's a great kisser. What more could a girl ask for?<br />
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We spend a great deal of time together (he only lives 5-10 minutes away) and I would not feel comfortable blogging around him (I'd feel I'm being rude) or talking about him without his knowledge, so I have not been blogging. But I will tell you that I am very, very happy, and so is he. Yes, we have talked about getting married and having babies. I have had my last first date. :)<br />
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Other than that, not a lot has changed this year. Here are some updates:<br />
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I still have the same job, and it's ok. Not the greatest job, but not the worst. I'd love to change careers or get into a job that is better suited to my talents (I really REALLY miss supervising), but I'm enjoying all the low-stress and time off that my current job provides. So it's not the end of the world.<br />
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My family is the same, although my brother, Fat Dog, and his wife had a beautiful baby girl, so now I am Aunt VB. Yay!!!It is difficult to suppress the urge to buy My Little Ponies for a 4 month old. I like to joke that I've already started a prom dress fund for her.<br />
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I have caught the running bug and now prefer that to all other forms of exercise. I sprained my ankle pretty badly last September, which meant I had to cancel my plans to run a half marathon. I was really disappointed, but it will be on my bucket list for 2013.<br />
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Speaking of being in shape, I am a shape.........it is round. Nothing like being in love over the holidays (read: double-up on family get-togethers) to pack on the pounds. Ugh. I am dying to get back out there, but am super busy. And being busy = more restaurant food. It's easy to do the math, even for me. I am trying to get organized and run errands while I have a few days off work, so the next couple of days are not looking good. Hopefully, it is not too cold to run outside this coming week, as the gym will be packed with New Year's "Resolutioners" until further notice. Also, I got <a href="http://nikeplus.nike.com/plus/products/sport_watch/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this</a> for Christmas, and I'm dying to use it. (Good gift, boyfriend!!!!)<br />
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One of the things the boyfriend and I have in common is a shared interest in Russia. We are both fascinated by its history and culture. To catch up with him, I have started to learn Russian. He's practically fluent in Russian, after spending 3 summers there in college. It's not coming to me as easily as I'd hoped. It's my first Slavic language, and my first non-Roman alphabet, so I'm definitely out of my comfort zone. But I can say several things at this point.<br />
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I have paid off my car. Woo hoo!!!!<br />
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Sammy injured his eye (big corneal scrape) when he escaped through the fence at boyfriend's house, but after 3 months, at least 8 vet trips (including a vet eye specialist!) and $1,000 (yes, a grand), his eye is fine.<br />
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I have met several girlfriends and enjoy hanging out with them, but most of my social life involves my boyfriend. He's my favorite person to hang out with, and vice versa. I have been trying to make a bigger effort on the girlfriend front, but it's hard, since most of them are single and want to go out and meet guys in bars late at night (not really my scene anymore). The ones who are not single are super busy, so double dating is difficult to wrangle. So I do the occasional lunch and have joined a book club. I like a lot of the girls I have met, but no one has really clicked with me yet.<br />
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I think I will work on this for the new year. Maybe I'll add it to my bucket list, although it may not be a good candidate. A girl I met here does an annual bucket list: 3 things every year she needs to accomplish/do. None of the goals should involve assistance from/reliance on others, so you can't blame anyone else if you don't accomplish them. She has so much fun doing it, and I have been inspired. I only have 2 things thus far: <br />
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<li>Run a half marathon, preferably in a town that is not Richmond</li>
<li>Take more photos (if anyone has any advice on how to make this goal easier to do, as well as how to make it more specific and measurable, that would be great! I never take photos and I need to change that.)</li>
<li>TBD....I need to think of another goal/change to make. Any ideas, readers??? I am learning Russian right now......perhaps I can continue on that. Or is that boring because I have already been doing that? Perhaps I should get my finances in order or take a trip..........</li>
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Ok, I have to go and get some things done. I just wanted to let you know I'm here, and I'm happy and I love living in Richmond. I'm not sure where this blog will go next, but I think that as long as I can leave the vast majority of my love life out of this blog, I will be ok with that. I hope you all understand. Everything else is on the table, though!<br />
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I'll try and post again soon. I hope you're all having lovely holidays and will have a glorious New Year, full of hope, luck and fantastic experiences!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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<br />Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-78376911224843442782012-05-27T09:58:00.000-04:002012-05-27T09:58:14.152-04:00RVA Should Stand for "Richmond: Very Awesome"Greetings, readers! Flattered any of you are still here, as always. I have many many updates for you, as a lot has changed since my last post. I'll do my best to be brief. I think I am in love. I am in love with Richmond. I should have moved here YEARS ago. I have met so many great people, I get to see my family all the time and there's always something fun to do here. It's a great size, there's great shopping and restaurants, there are lots of young people and so much to explore. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm done moving. I don't see myself leaving RVA any time soon. I'm so much happier here than I was in Savannah.<br />
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Have I talked about my job at all? I can't remember. I don't like my job. I miss my old job in Savannah. I had things to do there. I felt like I was with a team and we all had projects and ideas to work on together. Here....not so much. I strive to fill my day with something, anything. The work is not challenging at all (seriously, you could have a high school diploma and do what I do at this gig). I spend most of my day totally alone, which does NOT work for me, because I'm a social person. I don't really supervise anyone, even though technically I am supposed to. First of all, the people I supposedly supervise don't need me because no one uses our library. We can go for days at a time when no one even comes in. Second of all, my boss signs their time sheets and approves their leave, leaving me with nothing to use for ammo when it comes to supervising them. I really like my boss as a person, and she likes me, but I don't think she's a very good supervisor. I don't think she likes being the supervisor, either. There are so many things I could say about this job -- I am just scratching the surface, honestly. I should devote a whole post to it one day. I don't mean to complain, as I am grateful for this job, and it is extremely low-stress, but as a good friend of mine stated when I was describing my new job to her: "Wow, what a complete waste of your talents and abilities." It's not that this is a bad job. It's just not a good fit for me. I plan on changing careers with my next job. To what? I have no idea.<br />
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One of the things that is kind of awesome about this new job, though, is that for the first time in my life (yes, since my first job at age 15), I do not work nights or weekends. This, combined with the barely-40 hours a week and the low stress levels of this job means I can really focus on getting back in shape and my social life, which is what I want to do in a new town anyway. Yipee!! (I have already lost about 15 pounds. WOOT!)<br />
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After a few months of loneliness/dating douchebaggery, I found a group just for women in their 30s. There was a happy hour event in March, so I went, halfway dreading it because I was worried they'd all be married mothers and I'd end up getting invited to baby showers (no offense to any mothers reading, but attending baby/wedding showers stopped being fun for me about 6 years ago. They only serve as reminders of how I am not where I want to be at age 33. But don't get me wrong -- I am happy for you. I just want to mail a card instead. Is that ok?). So I get to this happy hour event, and end up sitting next to a group of girls who are all my age, all single/childless/never married AND most of them just moved back to Richmond after living away for some time. Ding ding ding! We have a winner! 4 of us really hit it off, and we've been hanging out ever since. They are so much fun and it's so awesome to see that you're not the last single 33 year old woman in the world. Every time this group gets together, we meet more cool girls, so my social circle is expanding all the time. Sweet!!!<br />
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But I am not just relying on them for my social life. There are daughters/sons of friends of my mom who I have been meeting, too. I met with one of them for after-work drinks the other day. I was especially excited to meet with her, because I hadn't seen her since I was in about 8th grade, I was told she's super fun and also because The Czarina told me she would have good career advice for me. And she did! But what I wasn't expecting was that she's also all about fixing people up. Score! A few minutes into our conversation, she asked me if I'm single. I nodded. "You have to meet ____." I asked her to tell me about him.<br />
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He sounds awesome! Smart, kind, funny, attractive, no kids/ex-wives, owns his own home, from Richmond, close to his family but not too close, has a good job, he's the same age as me.....so why wasn't SHE interested in him? After all, she's 33 and single, too. "He's not my type. I can see why people would say he's attractive, and he is. But I'm not attracted to him. He's like a brother to me. I've known him for years and years."<br />
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"So why is he single?" I asked. There had to be a catch.<br />
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"Well, he was engaged about a year or two ago. Then, out of nowhere, she broke it off. He was pretty crushed, because he didn't even see it coming. Actually, none of us saw it coming. Then he dated this other girl for a while, and she ended up getting back with her ex....so he's had a rough go of it."<br />
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"Poor guy. He sounds great, though. Sure, fix me up," I said.<br />
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"Ok, let's do this right now," she said, getting out her phone.<br />
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"Like, right now? Do I have time to brush my hair?" I asked.<br />
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She laughed. "No, I mean like let's set it up right now." She began texting him. "Are you free tomorrow?"<br />
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"Yes," I replied.<br />
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"Ok, he's free, too. You're meeting him here tomorrow at 7," she stated matter-of-factly.<br />
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And just like that -- BOOM -- I had a blind date.<br />
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We have our second date tonight. I'm really excited. I'll tell you all about him in my next post....that's all for now, kids. I have to get ready for the gym!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-91269862185128099112012-03-08T06:54:00.009-05:002012-03-27T22:40:00.979-04:00Another Successful Interaction With a ManLong-term readers of my blog are familiar with my verbosity, but I have a treat for anyone out there who might prefer that I include more visual aids to my posts. Today I have not one but 2 videos to illustrate this post.<br /><br />This one explains where I got the title for the post.<br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kWENrbK8EcM?fs=1" frameborder="0" height="344" width="459"></iframe><br /><br />Allow me to explain why I can relate to this clip so much.<br /><br />I should have seen it coming. That was stupid of me. <a href="http://virginiabelle.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-years-peeve.html">After what he did on New Year's Eve</a>, I knew in the back of my head he'd do something again. But after two months of blissful dating, I let my guard down. And I paid for it.<br /><br />For the first two months of this year, I was floating on air. MM was great! He was super into me, we really clicked, he was a great kisser and really fun to be around. He even wanted to be my Valentine and took me out to a really nice restaurant. I bragged to my mom about how how he always turned his cell phone off when he was with me and was always wholly focused on me when he was with me.<br /><br />The thing was, something about him made me not trust him. Yes, the NYE stunt was part of that. But eventually I began to realize that<br />A) He was a little too good to be true. Any guy that seems to always tell you what you want to hear is bad news bears, in my experience. He seemed to look for reasons to tell me I was doing something "hot". Last time I checked, a girl watching football isn't "hot". She's just watching football. I think he was just trying to butter me up. He would text me during working hours, telling me he can't stop thinking about me. He told me that seeing me once a week was not enough and he definitely could see me every day. He would talk about taking vacations several months from now and "if we're still together, you're definitely coming with me!" Like an idiot, I lapped all this up like a hungry little puppy. This was my reward for being so forgiving after the NYE let down! This guy was all about me! Thank goodness I was open to giving him a second chance. He was obviously worth it. *mental pat on the back*<br /><br />and the other thing bugging me, waaay in the back of my mind was....<br /><br />B) I was not in any way, shape or form, being included in his life. After 2 months of dating, I had yet to meet any of his friends or anyone who knew him at all. And based on a phone conversation with his sister that I overheard, I could tell she didn't even know I existed. I was sitting right next to him when he said he was "just hanging out with a friend". Apparently, despite the fact that he'd seen me with some of my clothing removed and we made out all the time, I still only qualified as a friend. WTF.<br /><br />Now, I am not a pushy kind of girl when it comes to dating. I am fairly patient with all the various stages of dating. But after 2 months, you don't feel the need to introduce me to<span style="font-style: italic;"> anyone</span> you know? Or at least tell people you're seeing someone? I was starting to feel like a secret. For all I knew, he could have some other girl or a girlfriend or who knows what else?! It began to bother me. I could wait on meeting family, but I can't even meet your 2 best guy friends? We can't even double date with them and their girlfriends? Your sister can't even know you're dating someone?<br /><br />About a month ago, we went to Williamsburg and went to the outlet malls there. I was flattered that he decided to spend his whole day off with me. And you don't drive an hour out of town to spend the day shopping with someone if you don't really like them. I mean, this is something that couples do! We were definitely on the way to being a couple. I could feel it.<br /><br />But he acted a little funny that day. He seemed really self-absorbed and preoccupied. For the first time, he was on his phone when he was with me. Something crazy at work. But what bothered me the most, I think, was that he was not affectionate with me at all. Come to think of it, he had never been publicly affectionate with me! I started to get annoyed after realizing all of this on the way home. I had made dinner, so he came over to eat with me, and we talked. I dropped a hint about feeling like a secret and wanting to meet his friends. He said that would be fun and we could do it on Saturday. Whew! That's a relief. See, it just hadn't occurred to him yet, that's all. He stayed at my house as late as he possibly could that night (yes, there was serious making-out -- I told you he's an excellent kisser!), and then kissed me good-bye and told me he hoped I would have a good day the next day. All perfectly normal.<br /><br />I didn't hear from him the next day (a Tuesday), which was normal and fine. But by Thursday night, I was feeling anxious. I texted him. Turns out, he was sick. Ah, yes, of course. No worries. I asked him if he needed anything and he said no. I told him I hope he feels better and went to bed. The next day, I asked how he was feeling. He said he was better, but would probably have to work all weekend to make up some stuff from work. Guess that means hanging out with his friends on Saturday was out of the question. He said that was probably true, but he might be able to finish in time to still go out.<br /><br />I didn't hear from him on Saturday. On Sunday morning, I log into facebook, and find that his buddies have posted all these pics of them hanging out together the night before. I was crushed.<br /><br />After moping around most of the weekend, I went into work the next Monday. It also happened to be my birthday. MM texted me to ask how my weekend was. Seriously??! Why do men pull shit like this and then act like nothing is wrong? Do they think that a woman has the memory of a goldfish?<br /><br />"Well, I'm having a good birthday so far," I replied.<br />"Oh, I'm such a bonehead! It is your birthday!" he replied.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Yes. It is my fucking birthday, you piece of shit. You are definitely a bonehead</span>, I thought.<br />I didn't reply.<br />A few seconds later, he texted me again: "Did you defriend me on FB?"<br />"Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again," I replied.<br />He claimed to be shocked and confused, despite the fact that he had blown me off for a week. He said he didn't want to have this conversation on my birthday and that he'd call me later in the week. Fine. Whatever.<br /><br />Two days later, he called and apologized, but the conversation was definitely tense. I was still pretty pissed off and hurt. We caught up briefly and he said he'd call me again later. And that was the last I've heard of him. Which brings me to video #2, an awesome song I just discovered (sorry, I'm probably the last person on Earth to discover this song, so bear with me!) -- this song pretty much captures exactly how I felt at the time:<br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8UVNT4wvIGY?fs=1" frameborder="0" height="270" width="480"></iframe><br /><br />Considering I am 33 and this is the first guy I have dated (heck, the first guy I have WANTED to date) in 2 and a half years, it was kind of a blow to me, I'm not gonna lie. I'm just now feeling like I am over him and it took me several tries to write this post. I've been running. A lot. I think I've lost about 10 pounds, actually. But I digress.<br /><br />I'm just so mad at myself. I broke all my own rules:<br />1. Don't date a guy who is ok with disappointing you<br />2. Don't date a guy who makes you cry<br />3. Wait, wait, wait and wait some more to get nekkid with a guy. At least until you have girlfriend status and have met some of his friends.<br />4. If a guy tells you everything you want to hear, it's because he's blowing smoke up your ass and it's coming out through your empty, idiot head and into your ears.<br />5. Listen to your gut. My gut said, "Don't date him, you will regret it." I chose to ignore this particular loud-and-clear gut warning. Dumb, VB. Very dumb.<br /><br />The part that hurt the most was the disappearing act. Right around my fricking birthday. At the age of 34, you'd think a guy could grow a pair and break things off quickly, honestly and humanely. But no. He pulled a stunt that no one had pulled on me since I was in my early 20s. When I realized this, that's when it all started to make sense: As a recent divorcee, he is starting to date again after being off the market for approximately 7 years. So emotionally, he's a frat boy. Which is why he basically hit it and quit it. I'm just one in what will probably be a long line of new toys for this boy. (Like the rhyming? Cuz I can keep going. No? Alright.) Glad I can be of service in helping you get over the fact that your ex-wife left you. I'm here to please. No really. My feelings don't matter. Just do whatever you want to me. Because I have s-u-c-k-e-r written in Sharpie, right across my forehead, apparently.<br /><br />But let's talk about possible reasons his wife may have left him, shall we? Because this list made me feel waaaaaaay better once I put it together.<br />1. bad credit<br />2. baggage. Baggage for days and days. And I'm not just referring to his 2 kids and ex-wife. (I actually don't mind the kids, just for the record.)<br />3. beer gut (normally I don't mind that, but he should really hit the gym)<br />4. possible binge drinker (based strictly on his own descriptions of fb photos)<br />5. Well, I can't really put it any better than Lily Allen, so <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zarl1kTCjco">here's a song you can listen to</a> which describes many of the things I am too nice to spell out directly to you. *ahem*<br /><br />After my moping phase was done, I got to the point where I had to decide the extent to which I wanted him erased from my life. FB was already taken care of, thankfully, so I would be prevented from stalking. Then, I got a new phone, so all my old text message conversations are all gone. But do I delete the number, exposing myself to a surprise call from an unrecognizable number? Or do I keep it there, as a depressing reminder of yet another failed relationship, so at least if he calls, I will know not to answer? I could fight off the temptation if he ever called. At least I wouldn't get caught off guard.<br /><br />Wait.<br /><br />I had a better idea. I thought of a way to make sure I would not<span style="font-style: italic;"> want</span> to answer the phone if he called. I wouldn't want to answer because I would change his name into something that would remind me of why I have no interest in ever talking to him again. A genius moment, for sure. Every time I think about it, I grin like a fat kid at Baskin Robbins. I'll delete it entirely one day, but for now, I will enjoy the daydream of seeing his new name come up on my phone.<br /><br />Tiny Penis.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-52192747821754018242012-01-14T09:26:00.005-05:002012-01-14T10:20:39.962-05:00Virgin TerritoryNow, now, don't get excited. This post has nothing to do with anyone's V Card. I know I am not the only perverted person out there, so I figured I'd establish that right off the bat.<br /><br />I figured I'd summarize my first month or so of living in Richmond. It's kind of a surreal experience, moving back to a town you haven't lived in since you were 12. My hometown is only an hour and a half away from Richmond, so I've visited many many times since then, but as a visitor, I have never actually <span style="font-style:italic;">driven</span> in Richmond. So although the street names are familiar, navigating them is something else. But that's the fun part. What I forgot about were the toll highways. You don't really see them down south. And people don't let you in when you need to change lanes. Guess I'm not deep in Southern Hospitality anymore. Although I will say that men here do open doors for ladies, something I've always appreciated. A guy actually apologized to me the other day for <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> getting the door for me. *sigh* Southern Gentlemen are the best.<br /><br />So far, overall, I love Richmond. It's bigger, so there are more shopping, cultural, recreational and dating opportunities. Hooray for that. Richmond is also a pretty classy town, I have to say. Savannah and even Columbia were both a little raggedy, with litter everywhere, poorly maintained streets and just a general air of poverty and sadness. Richmond is clean and neat and well-maintained, from what I have seen so far. Gone are the hipsters of Savannah and the <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=good%20ol%27%20boy">Good Ol' Boys</a> of Columbia. People here seem to be more genteel, as cheesy as that sounds. Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are hipsters and Good Ol' Boys. But I will never really be part of either of those groups. I just feel like I fit in here better. People here are less pretentious than hipsters and more cultured than Good Ol' Boys. It's a good balance, in my opinion.<br /><br />The city has a lot going for it, and I can't wait to explore everything it has to offer. There's all kinds of parks and activities on the James River, which cuts right through town. There's a neat old part of town called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shockoe_Slip">Shockoe Slip</a>, full of bars and restaurants and shops. I live near <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carytown,_Richmond,_Virginia">Carytown</a>, which is a great boutique/cafe area of town. The state capital and all the state agencies are here, as well as a major university (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VCU">VCU</a>). One of the things I always liked about Columbia was that due to the state government and the major university being there, it always made the city full of life and activity. It's the same here. There are several museums and tons of historical things here, like the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_John%27s_Church,_Richmond,_Virginia">church</a> where Patrick Henry gave his "Give Me Liberty" speech -- pretty cool! There's lots of Colonial America and Civil War history around here. Today I am going to visit the <a href="http://www.poemuseum.org/index.php">Edgar Allen Poe Museum</a>. One of my friends from Savannah is doing a reading there today, so I told her I'd stop by and see her.<br /><br />It's a good thing my family is so close by, because otherwise, I'd be super lonely. I don't really work with anyone who's in my demographic, unlike my job in Savannah. And I haven't met too many of my neighbors yet -- it's not fun to strike up conversations when it's 30 degrees outside. So I spend most of my time alone. I know it's only temporary, and I have ideas for how to meet people, but it still stinks for the time being! I guess I had it easy in Savannah -- there were tons of young professionals to hang out with. It's just going to take time. I'm going to join the gym and also <a href="http://www.rivercityssc.com/">this organization</a> (looks like so much fun, but they don't really do much until March). I also need to find a church (I've been church-shopping with no luck so far). There's also a roller derby team here, but I would have to psych myself up for that. It looks like fun, and a great way to meet girlfriends, but I am such a wuss when it comes to pain and haven't been on rollerskates since I was about 10.<br /><br />Speaking of being 10 years old, on Monday, I am going to have lunch with my best friend from 4th grade. How's that for crazy? She and I have been facebook friends for a while, but I don't think I've seen her since then. She now lives in Richmond, too, so I suggested we meet up.<br /><br />Next weekend, The Czarina is getting married, so she's all in a tizzy. It should be fun, though. If there's one thing my mom is good at, it's throwing parties. I'll see pretty much every friend of my family. (Is it a sign that I'm getting older when I say that I like hanging out with my parents' friends as much as I like hanging out with my own?) I'm really happy for my mom. And my stepdad is great.<br /><br />I absolutely love my new place. It's like it was designed to hold my stuff -- everything fits perfectly. As soon as I get most of the decorating done, I will share pics. The only thing I wish it had was a fireplace. Then it would be perfect.<br /><br />It's totally freezing here, and my wardrobe is not equipped for it. I've been hunting for sweaters like a fiend. From what I've been told, I won't be able to get out my flip-flops until April. Aw, man!<br /><br />I'll blog more about my new job and my dating life soon. Thanks, as always, for reading! Please leave comments so I can feel connected to human beings and not continue to have full conversations with my dog! <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W5w691w0jE">I am so lonely!</a>Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-90265807405465382882011-12-31T20:41:00.007-05:002011-12-31T22:21:39.159-05:00New Year's PeeveGreetings from Virginia! I will fill you in on my new life here later, with details about The Most Frustrating and Neverending Move Ever in the History of Relocations, The Magical Weight Loss Phenomenon and The Vague Job with Unavailable Boss (Through No Fault of Her Own). All you need to know at this moment is that<br /><br />A) I love Richmond already.<br />B) My love life has already gone to shit, if you can believe it. Luckily, this has not impacted A (see above). Yet.<br /><br />You may have noticed that it is almost 9pm on New Year's Eve. And I am blogging. In my jammies. Alone. What, did you think things would be different, now that I am out of horrible Savannah? That just because I am closer to my family and finally back where I feel at home that my romantic endeavors would be any different than they always have been? Or perhaps it's because <a href="http://virginiabelle.blogspot.com/2011/01/bringing-sexy-back.html">last year's NYE was absolutely amazingly fun and awesome</a>? Oh, my little naive readers. You know I can't let this year end without yet another crash-and-burn tale from my dating life, or lack thereof. Although I got down to the wire, I did manage to squeeze one final story into 2011 for you.<br /><br />2011 started with a great dating story and it will end with another. Ok, I guess last year's NYE wasn't totally amazing and fun by the time it was over. But it most certainly started off that way, and it was a helluva lot better than the way this one is shaping up. Let me explain.<br /><br />Thanks to the intervention of several friends and/or relatives, I was talked into (read: dragged kicking and screaming) signing up for eHarmony (emphasis on "harm") late last summer. Since you pay for it 3 months' at a time, I had completely forgotten that it would automatically renew itself, so after 3 months of guys who didn't even sound good on paper, I got to -- surprise! -- get automatically charged for another 3 months' of depressing dating prospects! Well, by the time I realized that this had happened, I was in the midst of leaving Savannah to move to Richmond. And they don't do refunds. So I had another 3 months' worth of prepaid virtual dating to burn through. Ever the Pollyanna/mental nimrod/glutton for punishment that I am when it comes to dating, I decided I would just update my eHarmony profile to list Richmond as my location and keep on trying. I am new in town. What else was I going to do with my free time?<br /><br />Well, I was very pleasantly surprised, let me tell you. Not only were the men better looking in Richmond, but they were better educated, too, with more interesting jobs. Gone were the Savannah <a href="http://www.latfh.com/">hipster</a> bartenders who looked like they don't bathe and the desperate-for-any-female military men. (I do support our men in uniform, heck, my brother is a vet for pete's sake, but what is with their desperation to get girlfriends? It is seriously freaky. I wish they would work on that, collectively.) The guys in Richmond seem...pretty great, actually! Woo hoo!<br /><br />There were a few that seemed pretty good, but one stood out above the rest. MM was just the right age, looked like he knew how to have a good time and was pretty good looking. I had looked at his profile about 3 times before I realized that in this one photo, there was a kid. He looked so good in the photo, I literally didn't even see the kid, who turns out to be one of his daughters. Yes, he has 2 daughters and an ex-wife. That's a decent amount of baggage, but I like kids and I am trying to be more open minded about stuff like that. I haven't been dating much lately (read: at all...for 2 years....). I just wanted someone who seemed like fun. So we started emailing, which progressed to texting.<br /><br />He was great! He was flirtatious, funny and seemed interested in me. He asked me out and we booked a date. We were going to meet for dinner in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_district">The Fan</a>, which is the old home/cool boutiques/best restaurants area of Richmond. I was pretty stoked. It was my first date in *ahem* over 2 years (except for the blind date where I was a cougar and we didn't really hit it off anyway, so I am not even going to link to that post). I had an outfit picked out and was kind of excited to do some in-person flirting with MM.<br /><br />That is, until he canceled on me the day before. Something about work being really crazy and he had to work late on the night of our date. Ok, well, everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, I thought. It's the holidays, and everyone is a little crazy right now. So we rescheduled. And then I cried a little, because I was so disappointed. Normally, I have a rule against dating guys who make me cry, but since this was a work thing, it wasn't his fault. So we ended up just texting for another week. (I began to get annoyed at the texting after a while...why not just call me? So much easier and less sketchy.) Things got very flirtatious, though. It's so easy to flirt via text...where was I?<br /><br />Our first date went well...even though he was a little bit late. (Again, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt on first dates. They can be nerve-wracking. So I let it slide. He had texted me to say he was running a little late, so that helped.) The food was good and we had good conversation, but what was odd was the complete and total lack of flirting going on. And he was sitting a little farther away from me than I would have preferred. This, from the guy who, earlier in the week, was asking me some very PG-13 questions via my phone (some I would not even answer because they were a little too personal). This same guy, who had been talking up a big storm about kissing me, was acting like we were on a totally blind date. It was very odd.<br /><br />He also did most of the talking, which is one of my first date pet peeves. I like a healthy split of getting to know each other, not the entire sordid story of why your marriage broke up. All I asked was how long he had been divorced. I didn't really need to know that she cheated and lied and all that other stuff. It's not really any of my business and made me a little uncomfortable.<br /><br />I switched topics and asked him about his family. He describes his mother as "manipulative and controlling" and I could see a little red flag pop up. Now, anyone who knows me at all knows that my mother drives me nuts and I believe The Czarina to be a major control freak, but I would never describe her as manipulative, and I certainly wouldn't tell any of that to someone I just met. This, combined with his description of his ex-wife and a couple of bad dates he'd been on recently caused me to make a joke about how he'd bad mouth me later, too. He assured me I was a very pleasant surprise and that I was as attractive in person as I was in my photos. That was a relief. I decided that I would keep my ears peeled for more misogynistic comments, but the little things he said weren't instant deal breakers. For all I knew, it could have been nerves.<br /><br />I decided to focus on how good looking he was and how good he smelled. And how to get him to sit closer to me. I decided to take off my jacket, exposing a black sequined top that was cut just low enough to be date-worthy, but not slutty. I could feel his eyes right where I wanted them to be. And although he did angle his body towards me a little more and put his arm on the back of the booth, his rear remained firmly in place...too far away for any serious flirting to take place. Rats. I guess that's what I got for telling him the he's not allowed to kiss me on our first date. Oh the joys of trying to pretend to be good when I really don't want to be..........<br /><br />Our date got better as the night wore on. Aside from the comments about his mom and ex and my unsuccessful attempt to get him to scoot closer, it went well. It went so well that he asked me for a 2nd date just before hugging me goodbye. I was stoked.<br /><br />Then, all this week, he went back to the vicious flirting and regular texting. I told him I was tired of texting and just wanted to talk, so he called me. After the phone call, he texted me to say how much he likes hearing my voice on the phone. He even asked my favorite question in the whole world: "When can I see you again?". *sigh* I love that question. At this point, I am thinking we are definitely having a super hot makeout session on Date #2. Even if I have to wear a super slut-tastic shirt this time. I can't take it anymore.<br /><br />Two hours before he's supposed to pick me up for our second date, he texts me.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Would you be pissed if I asked you if we could reschedule for next week?</span><br /><br />"If you have to ask that question, you already know the answer, douchebag," I thought. I texted back: <span style="font-style: italic;">So you're canceling on me again?<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I am so sorry</span></span></span>, he replied.<br /><br />At this point, I am about to punch a wall I am so pissed. I don't reply. When I get home from work, he texts me again: <span style="font-style: italic;">I am so sorry. If you don't ever want to talk to me again, I totally understand.</span><br /><br />Now, I am not stupid. I know that if you really liked someone, you would never say that, out of fear they'd take you up on the idea. He wanted out, but didn't want to be the bad guy. This guy has really mastered texting. He uses it to say all sorts of things he doesn't have the balls to say in person. Despite texting me every day, despite all his little innuendos about sleeping with me, despite the compliments he gave me, despite asking me out a 2nd time...he wanted out. Why, I don't know. And I never will know. Because I replied with <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Good. Because I don't.</span><br /><br />The worst part was, he never replied to that text.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-63700041856088905592011-10-23T12:41:00.003-04:002011-10-23T12:48:24.017-04:00Homeward BoundInterview was a little odd (they asked a couple of questions that were not typical questions). Not sure if I answered them all that well.<br /><br />I was nervous, and forgot the names of the people interviewing me, so I was unable to send thank you notes to 3 of the 4 people. Luckily, the one name I did remember is the director of the museum library.<br /><br />I had good feelings (but not<span style="font-style: italic;"> great</span>) about how I did.<br /><br />Tried every day since then to not get my hopes up, dreading a rejection letter and being stuck here for another 6 months or something.<br /><br />But all was for naught. I got the job!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />I start the Monday after Thanksgiving!!!!! I am SO EXCITED. But I think The Czarina may actually be more excited than I am. :)<br /><br />More later....gotta run. Millions of things to do. Like tell my job I am quitting....they don't know yet! So those of you who know me on FB, keep this under wraps for the time being!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-66554711360730907912011-10-03T09:35:00.005-04:002012-01-05T18:08:45.552-05:00Carry Me Back to Old Virginia?Y'all, my job hunt is on the move. I am on Mission: Richmond or Bust. After a lot of thinking and praying and research, I have decided that there isn't really anything my current job can do to keep me here in Savannah and that I am only interested in moving to Richmond, VA. I hate living in this town. I have met some great people, I love my apartment and I do like my job (most of the time), but my personal life here stinks. It's a vicious cycle of this town not having what I want, which puts me in a bad/depressed attitude, which makes me not want to work harder at making the best of this place.<br /><br />I have recently had discussions with a couple of my best girlfriends here in Savannah and all 3 of us dislike living here. We all agree that there is a curse or some kind of oppressive atmosphere over this town. I thought it was just me, but when I mentioned it to them, they thought they were the only people thinking that, too! We all feel like we have become depressed ever since we have moved here. It's very odd.<br /><br />This was a long blogging gap! Let's see what you have missed....oh, so my favorite coworker, the one who was running the other half of the library, quit. Her old job wooed her back -- and she would have been insane not to take the job. So I am temporarily running the whole library again, for no extra pay. My temporary boss did just get me a nice raise, though -- 4%. We usually only get 3%, so I appreciate that. We've also had another person quit (I'm telling you, it's like rats fleeing a flood around here), so now we have 4 vacancies to hire for. If I leave, too, that will be 5. And no one will be running the library. I do feel a little guilty about that....with all the craziness and absurdity of my job, I do like it. No job is perfect. But if only this job were somewhere else! There is nothing my current employer can do to make me love Savannah. It's a great place to visit, but not to live.<br /><br />I counted up the # of people who have quit/been fired from the library since I started here 2 and a half years ago: 16. That is a LOT of turnover, especially when the staff is only about 20 people total. Luckily, many of the ineffective and bad employees are gone (save one, although if all goes well today, he will be getting fired this afternoon, after 6 YEARS of his antics). So if I already don't like living here, and no one else is staying, why should I stay? I have had 4 awesome awesome coworkers over the years here, and all 4 of them have quit. Honestly, I hate working here without them. That more than anything else has affected my morale. And The Czarina reminded me -- I have been trying to find a job in Richmond since I got back from Hong Kong. That was over a year ago. It's time to move on.<br /><br />In other news, I took down my profile on eHarmony -- I am trying to leave this town, so dating now doesn't really factor into my plan. I may pick it up when/if I get to Richmond, although I don't think I will do eHarmony again -- they don't let you browse! Kind of frustrating. You have to wait for them to send you people.<br /><br />Do you remember me talking about Miss Perfect who lives upstairs from me? She suddenly stopped talking to me. It happened after I told her I am a Christian. I think that made her uncomfortable. She asked me a bunch of questions about it and I told her that in the past I had claimed to be a Christian but was not really walking the walk. I told her how I am living my life now as opposed to a few years ago (or even a few months ago!) and I think she felt I was judging her or something. Which I'm not! I'm actually kind of envious of her ability to have guys sleep over....and not go to church....*sigh* Anyway, it did hurt my feelings, but at the same time, I didn't really see her becoming my best friend or anything, so I suppose it's for the best. She reminded me a little too much of my old roommate (the one who was bi-polar and would go on spending sprees even though she was broke). I thought we could at least hang out together, but I guess she doesn't agree. Oh well. I am taking it as another sign that it's time for me to move on.<br /><br />The Ex-Fiance still lives here in Savannah. He still hangs out with all my friends, which is fine. It used to piss me off but I have gotten over it. He and I have just been avoiding each other. But he randomly messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago and apologized for avoiding me and making things weird. I really appreciated that. So we have chatted a little via Facebook/text message, and I think we're cool now. It's all water under the bridge. He was dating a girl for a little while, and that made me happy for him, even though it didn't work out. He's even watching Sammy for me while I'm in Virginia later this week.<br /><br />It was a long, boring summer for me, mostly because I was broke as a joke. My tenant (remember, I own a house in Columbia, SC) moved out in early May and I had no tenant....all summer....I just now have someone in there, which is awesome because I was dipping into savings to pay for rent AND mortgage all summer. Ouch! I literally bought nothing but groceries all summer long. No shopping, no vacations.<br /><br />Now for the exciting part of this post! This post's title is a play on the state song of Virginia....which I am using because later this week, I have a job interview. I am pretty excited about it! It's a very well known art museum, and it would be an amazing place to work. I have been visiting that museum since I was a kid. <br /><br />If I get it, it will be much less responsibility. I would miss being a supervisor, but I also think that I'm really burned out on my current job, and would welcome a slower pace so I can focus on my personal life more. It has really taken a back seat ever since I got here to Savannah. I am a little concerned, career-wise, about potentially going down the ladder, but if my personal life is more fulfilling, I may not care. And you never know -- moving up can happen anytime.<br /><br />Another way this job would potentially affect my career is that it would be a 2nd art librarian job in a row. By focusing my career on such a tiny field (there are only about 300-400 art librarians in the U.S.), I am slightly worried that I may be putting myself in a box, essentially type casting myself. But this kind of organization would probably be easy to grow in (I read one of their annual reports and it says they are expecting a lot of people to retire over the next few years). And again, if I like my job, that won't matter!<br /><br />The daughter of one of my mom's friends works there now and she said everyone there is very smart and super nice -- what more can you ask for in coworkers?? This museum has really become an icon of the city, and its success can only be due to the amazing employees there, so I would love to be a part of that!<br /><br />The biggest boon would be, of course, moving to Richmond. I absolutely love Richmond and have always wanted to live there. I'd be close to my family and I know Richmond has all the stuff I am looking for in a city (I have been researching! I learned my lesson about moving here -- I did no research and just went with my emotional response to Savannah-- huge mistake.). One of the first red flags I got when I moved to Savannah was that no one here is<span style="font-style: italic;"> from</span> Savannah. That means they all get out ASAP. Richmond is not like that at all. You can't shake a stick without hitting a Richmond native -- I take that as a really good sign. I can see this being my -- gasp! -- last move.<br /><br />I am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch or be overly confident about this, but I have a decent shot at getting this job. If you read the description of the requirements, I have every single one of them...plus extras. I would be taking a small pay cut, but nothing drastic. And again, if my personal life improves, it will be worth it.<br /><br />The Czarina is, of course, ecstatic. She wants to have all of her "chickens" (that's what she calls all of her children) back in the roost, so to speak. I miss home, too. Now that my brother Fat Dog is married (yay! They ended up eloping to Hawaii and we are all very happy!) and my little sister Smurf is in college, I really want to be around family more. Even though The Czarina drives me nuts, I still love her.<br /><br />The cherry on this little sundae I am whipping up is that The Czarina owns a condo right down the street from the museum -- a nice condo. That she will rent to me. And then I can walk to work and live in a super awesome neighborhood. WOOT!<br /><br />So I'll be flying up for my interview on Wednesday. The interview is on Thursday morning. Wish me luck!<br /><br />Oh, and if anyone has advice/good stories to share about moving down the ladder or taking jobs to enable you to focus on your personal life more, I would love to hear about it! Was it worth it? Do you have any regrets? Have you found it difficult to move back up the ladder later? The Czarina did it once and she (to this day) doesn't regret it. Although that might be because when she did it, she moved to Washington DC and met my dad. Of course it's easy for her to say she didn't regret it!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-33844835385745642082011-07-11T07:58:00.006-04:002011-07-11T08:51:12.304-04:00The 5 PsWow, I haven't posted in a while. Let me see if I can sum up stuff:<br /><br />Parenting -- The Czarina, a good friend of the family and my favorite aunt came down to visit me a few weeks ago. There was much shopping and laughing and dating advice (directed at me, of course). They all harped on me for being too picky and judgmental and for writing off guys before I even meet them. I countered with the fact that I refuse to settle and vow to keep my standards high. Therefore, no, I am not interested in flirting with guys who I can tell are not smart. I am tired of meeting cute guys who have nothing between their ears. I want someone who can stimulate me intellectually. They were baffled by this and can't believe I am not flirting like crazy with the hot (and yes, ok, they are hot) firemen across the street. But show me the fireman who can talk about politics, philosophy or anthropology! They don't exist! As soon as I make out with one, and my hormones get all stimulated, I will begin justifying all their flaws and end up in a dead end relationship. My mother and aunt disagreed completely and told me I was being judgmental. Am I? Probably. So I promised them I would try and be more open-minded.<br /><br />Pressure -- We had a big re-org at work about 2 weeks ago. It was pretty crazy. The Gorilla got fired (thank goodness -- he was so toxic!). I know it sounds like I am taking pleasure from another's misfortune, and well, ok, I guess I am a little. Wrong, I know. But mostly, I am just relieved, as I'm sure he is. He was such a bad fit and he was miserable. So, this was really better for everyone. We also had to lay off one girl, which was NOT part of the original plan. We felt really badly about it. Now New Girl (my other half at work -- seriously, I love this girl) and I are working with a skeleton crew. It's going to be bumpy and stressful for a bit, but I think we will get there. There are a few people who now have totally new jobs and have to be trained from scratch -- so it's a little wonky at the moment. Luckily, there was minimal drama and most people are happy or they at least understand why we did what we did. Some people even got promotions, so that is good. Man, I am glad that is over. It was all I thought about for 2 months.<br /><br />Peppy -- I have 2 new neighbors. One I will call Peppy. She lives across the hall from me and even though my coworkers call me Susie Sunshine, even I can barely handle this girl's too-happy and perky personality. She minors in performing arts, so she sings all the time. While she is a talented singer, it's kind of annoying. I sing when I'm alone, too, but <span style="font-style: italic;">quietly</span>. This girl belts it out. And it's usually show tunes or cheesy romantic songs. Argh. As if this wasn't bad enough, she found a dog on the side of the road, and I'm worried she is going to keep it. This dog barks. And barks and barks and barks. Then it whines and whines and whines. Any time Peppy is not home or asleep, let the barking and whining begin. Kind of annoying. For some unexplainable reason, she thinks I am interested in being friends. Which is fine. But she found me on Facebook and friended me. What the heck?! I can't deny the request -- I will see her soon enough. I hate being pressured into being FB friends. (That goes for you, too, you weird cousin of mine!!!) Sorry, I have a weird cousin. I try to deny the friendship requests, but they keep coming. Luckily, he lives in South America, so it's a lot easier to deny him....sorry, now I am off-topic.<br /><br />Miss Perfect -- I have another new neighbor who lives upstairs. I will call her Miss Perfect. Obviously, she is not perfect, but I certainly can't see any flaws: she looks like a supermodel (she doesn't even need to wear makeup, y'all, it's kind of sick), she's really in shape (triathalons are her main hobby -- what?!), her apartment is gorgeous (makes mine look like a dorm room) and she's smart (she has a PhD in Psychology). She has no debt, other than her car. Yeah. Oh, and did I mention that she is incredibly nice, friendly and has a fun personality? And that she thinks I am cool? Yeah. This girl is unreal. To make her even more awesome, she is my age AND single. Yeah. Believe it or not, this chick is single. Don't get me wrong, she has already met someone after living here for only 3 weeks. But she's not that into him. Something she can totally afford to do.<br /><br />In short, she's the girl I hate to love. I hate her. But I can't, 'cause she's really nice and cool. So I have to admit that I like her. Even though I feel like I have just been slimed by the Envy Monster. *sigh* And my feelings of inadequacy are causing me to wonder why she wants to hang out with me. Because she's new in town and doesn't know anyone? Probably. I predict I will be friend-dumped as soon as she finds someone more worthy to hang out with. Wow, I am cynical today, aren't I?<br /><br />My first inclination that she and I come from two different worlds was when I confessed to her that I have put on a lot of weight in the last few years, but that I was trying to make some changes and get back in shape (I first met her as I was coming back inside from a run). "Oh, I know what you mean. I am in love with junk food, too. Last week, I ate an ENTIRE watermelon. And that's basically just sugar." I was totally speechless. How many calories are in an entire watermelon? Like, 100? I decided to stay mum about my ability to eat two candy bars in one sitting, as I proved to myself a week ago. Wow. Talk about feeling like a loser. Who is this girl???<br /><br />I'm trying to use her as inspiration. You see, she is super optimistic about her love life -- something that is very refreshing to my pessimistic, cynical view of the opposite sex. She is not giving up, but trying harder. She's one of those super goal-oriented people. And I have to admit, it's kind of awesome. "Ok, your goal is to get a date for this coming weekend," she said to me yesterday over coffee. "Um, yeah! Ok!" I replied, while thinking, "Yeah, right, lady. I'm overweight and my self-esteem isn't the greatest. I have essentially resigned myself to living alone for ever and wouldn't be able to attract Weird Al Yankovic right now." But somehow, she talked me into signing up for eHarmony. And I'm super broke right now (long story). But I did it anyway. This girl is not taking no for an answer. She wore me down. She's right. I can't give up. I have to keep trying.<br /><br />Positive Attitude -- So, if nothing else, Miss Perfect is giving me a swift kick in my ass. Which is probably exactly what I need. Here's to hoping that some of her perfection and optimism rubs off on me. Let the games begin!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-42004969222587924432011-05-28T19:25:00.003-04:002011-05-28T20:28:49.696-04:00Getting Maui-dDid I tell you my brother, Fat Dog, popped the question to his long-time girlfriend? Yup. On top of the Hoover Dam. He's an engineer, so I'm sure to him, this was a very romantic spot. He lucked out, because she said yes. We all adore her and so we are all very happy and excited.<br /><br />For months, the happy couple has been trying to get the basics of their wedding plans established. Get married in Virginia Beach, where they both live? Get married in my hometown, which is super cheap? Get married this year or next year? They have been very indecisive. I'm sure The Czarina, starving for grandchildren, didn't help matters. She must have really ramped up the pressure when we all found out that the fiance is not 2 years older than him, like we had all thought, but TEN. (We never asked how old she was -- she looks fantastic for her age!)<br /><br />Yesterday, Fat Dog called me to announce they have decided to have a destination wedding in 4 months. In Maui.<br /><br />Most people would shout, "Hooray! Maui, here we come!" But there are some difficulties with this plan. In no particular order:<br /><br />1. The Czarina does not fly. Period.<br />2. The Czarina, who is chipping in some money towards the wedding, is also paying for Smurf's college tuition right now. So she doesn't exactly have buckets of money laying around.<br />3. Based on my calculations, it will cost me something like $2,000 to attend this wedding. That will wipe out my savings, eat up the bonus I am going to get....I can go, but it will hurt. A lot.<br />4. My other two brothers live paycheck to paycheck, so they won't be able to go.<br />5. Smurf will be in the middle of Fall semester of her sophomore year, so she may not be able to go. Also, The Czarina would have to pay for her to go, too.<br />6. Banana, my older sister, is currently vacationing in Morocco, so she probably won't have any money left when she gets back.<br /><br />"So, out of all the people you have called so far, how many said they can go?" I asked him.<br /><br />"Um, none, actually," he replied.<br /><br />"Are you prepared to have no guests at your wedding?" I asked.<br /><br />Silence on his end. I wonder if he realizes that this may mean he gets few wedding gifts, but decide to keep that thought to myself.<br /><br />"Look," he said, "this is what we are doing. We hope you guys can make it, cuz we would really like you to be there."<br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />This particular sibling of mine is unique in our family in so many ways: he's good at math, he got Grandma's weird feet, he is stubborn to the point of absurdity and he has champagne tastes -- only the best for Fat Dog!<br /><br />I can just about guess what happened. Fat Dog got sick of all the indecision, ran out of patience and decided that this is what they are doing, no matter the cost, logistics or inconvenience. I know how he operates. I'm sure his fiance is trying to get him to slow down and think about this some, and he is having none of it. (I wish I could say he is the only one in the family who is impatient, but unfortunately, yours truly has the patience of a toddler.)<br /><br />The part that irritates me the most? His argument that this is cheaper than getting married in our hometown! "You can't get married for less than $10,000. You just can't," he said. Um, I am pretty sure you can. I actually just attended a wedding a few weeks ago that was very small, very fun and very inexpensive. But you see, Fat Dog has a tendency to require only the BEST in everything. Don't get me wrong, it's great to have standards, but a touch of reality is good, too. See, he knows he can get married for less than $10k. He just doesn't want to, because it won't be all fancy and impressive. If he can't have a Top Shelf wedding, he will just basically not have one at all -- which is pretty much what this is. It's just a glorified elopement. But since it's an elopement in <span style="font-style: italic;">Maui</span>, it will still impress.<br /><br />"So let me get this straight. You guys live at one beach, but you're going to fly aaaaall the way across the country to get married at another beach?" I asked.<br /><br />"It's Maui," he replied. Touche.<br /><br />"And how is this cheaper than getting married in our hometown?" I asked.<br /><br />He was getting frustrated with me now. "Gah! Look, the only weekend we could get married in Farmville is at the end of May, and that's when the Heart of Virginia Festival is happening."<br /><br />(Trying to get married in our hometown during Heart of Virginia would be daunting, I will agree. It's pretty much the busiest weekend of the year for our 3 little hotels in Farmville.)<br /><br />"The Heart of Virginia Festival is in May. You just said this would be in September," I pointed out.<br /><br />"We don't even live there!" he replied.<br /><br />"Nor do you live in Maui," I observed.<br /><br />Silence. Touche, brother dear! This was kinda fun! I was enjoying poking holes in all his arguments. I am such a mean older sister, aren't I? But this is what he gets for having such a selfish wedding plan, after we were all looking forward to this wedding.<br /><br />"So why do you think it will save you money to do it this way?" I continued.<br /><br />"Because if we get married in Virginia Beach or in Farmville, we will have to invite all these people. You know how it goes -- if you invite this person, then you have to invite that person, too. Soon, your guest list is out of control. We are just inviting family. No one else," he explained.<br /><br />"Yeah, I know that can happen easily with guest lists," I admitted. <span style="font-style: italic;">That's why you cap it off, make some tough decisions and deal with it,</span> I thought. I imagined the unruly guest list like an untamed Mustang, bucking my brother off its back. How absurd. <span style="font-style: italic;">Who is in charge here, you or your guest list?</span> I thought.<br /><br />I almost pointed out to him that if you don't have any guests at your wedding, you also don't have any wedding gifts. Wonder if Mr. Top Shelf has realized this.<br /><br />"Can't you just get married in Farmville or Virginia Beach and then have your honeymoon in Maui?" I pleaded.<br /><br />"No, cuz that will cost even more money!" he said.<br /><br />He also argued that they are saving up for a big house, since they are planning to have kids. Is it just me, or should you have the kids first before doing that?? He owns a 2 bedroom condo already. I love that taking a trip to Maui is part of the plan to save money for this house. Is he serious? I can hear <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dave_Ramsey_Show_%28radio_program%29">Dave Ramsey</a> screaming now.<br /><br />I got off the phone with him and called The Czarina.<br /><br />"Are you upset about all of this?" I asked her.<br /><br />My mother, in true emotionally-repressed, German-American fashion, replied, "I'm not upset. I'm just not going."<br /><br />Oh boy. She was super pissed. I wondered if she hung up on him, but decided it would be best not to ask.<br /><br />Upon discovering that she and I both thought he was crazy, and for the same reasons, she told me I shouldn't have said all the stuff I said. (I was supposed to repress it all, like she did!) She made me call him back and apologize. So I did. She was right -- it's his wedding. We should be supportive. We need to be happy that we love his fiance so much.<br /><br />I'm trying to have a better attitude about this, but I am still kinda pissed. I think he's being really selfish and shallow. Just because he can't have a big Hollywood wedding (like he surely feels he deserves) he will just not have one at all. He's making the wedding all about him, when I think it should involve our families, too. (Maybe I am just crazy, but I thought I was welcoming a new member into our family!) After all, out of the last 4 times my entire family has gotten together, 3 of those times were for funerals. I was kind of looking forward to getting together with my family for a happy occasion for once.<br /><br />The Czarina thinks they will still change their minds and I shouldn't get too upset. She will probably try and talk some sense into him after she calms down a little. (She would never admit it, but I'm pretty sure she is furious.)<br /><br />I almost just wish they had run off to Vegas or City Hall and just not told anyone. Then we wouldn't all have to decide if we want to spend all this money -- it would already be a done deal.<br /><br />I love my brother, but he sure can be a pain in the neck.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-90549019881235338602011-05-22T19:54:00.008-04:002011-05-22T21:15:34.143-04:00D-DayThe school where I work is no different than many other organizations around the country right now in that we are also feeling the financial pinch from our depressed economy. Layoffs have been happening periodically for months now. Why the administration has decided to drag it out and shroud it all in mystery is beyond me, and I am too far down the totem pole to change any of it. One of the ongoing frustrations with these layoffs and all the restructuring around here is that our HR department wields an immense amount of power. Rather than serving as advisers to our ideas and reacting to our needs, they control who stays, who goes, who gets what job and what pay. These decisions are made independently of anyone else, from what I have witnessed. All employees are at the mercy of the whims of HR, which makes them not only an intimidating presence on campus, but also a frustratingly clueless and cowardly one. This is wholly different than any HR department I have ever worked with in any other job. This is a school that is run by an HR department. Which makes no sense, really, if you think about it.<br /><br />About 2 weeks ago, I met with my temporary dean (you may recall that my former dean quit a couple months back to be closer to her son in Atlanta) to discuss ongoing issues with The Gorilla, my professionally inept and socially sub-normal coworker. Due to my interim status as one of his supervisors, I have been lucky enough to get going on a mission to rid the staff of his presence, which has proven to be quite a morale-lowering experience. Part of this mission involved working with New Girl (the Gorilla's immediate and unfortunate supervisor) to reorganize the reporting structure at the library. According to our plan, we have determined a way to eliminate his position and shift others around to better suit the needs of the library. We even found ways to eliminate most of our part-time positions, which are currently held by students (who could easily find other jobs in restaurants or what have you). She and I were very proud of ourselves and brought this new idea to our temporary dean. She also seemed to really like it, as she has agreed with us from day one the The Gorilla has got to go. She said she would talk to HR about this plan and get back to us. She seemed confident that this would be a great plan and HR would go for it.<br /><br />So when I went into her office, after she called a meeting with me to discuss things related to HR issues, I have to admit, I was kind of excited. After almost a year of The Gorilla, she was finally going to inform me with some pleasurable news of his impending departure. "The good news is," she started, "we are eliminating his position on June 6th." I silently turned several mental cartwheels, and had a quick parade in my brain, complete with confetti and handfuls of candy being thrown to little children, before snapping back to reality. <span style="font-style: italic;">The good news is? Oh no. That means....there is....oh no.</span><br /><br />"The bad news is, they are eliminating your interim position, and so in this new plan..." she pulled out a new reporting structure tree for me to view. "You will go back to your old position. There won't be anyone in charge of the library until you get a new dean."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Seriously? This is so lame. I worked my butt off for this promotion! And now you are taking it away??</span><span><br /><br />I asked if I had done something wrong or if I was not doing a good job (this was a rhetorical question, because I have actually been given a lot of positive feedback from both below and above me). She said no, not at all. She gave me some b.s. explanation which really doesn't add up. You see, our school has several campuses. Each campus has a Head Librarian for that campus. That is the promotion I received (temporarily). The Head Librarians are supervised by a dean, who oversees big picture planning and advocates for all of the libraries to upper administration. Since all deans are located in Savannah, their argument is that when we get a new dean, they can be both the Head Librarian <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> the dean for all campuses. Not only is this not what a dean does (at any school), it is too much for one person to manage. My former dean should know, because she had to do it for a year or so.<br /><br />So much for their promise to me that my promotion was only interim because they didn't want to make any major personnel changes until we get a new dean. I am not quite sure how I feel about continuing to work for a place that breaks its word to its employees.<br /><br />The problem with this plan is that we don't have a new dean yet. Nor will we have one any time soon, if they keep bringing in the same awful candidates they have been parading around for the last 3 months. So on June 6th (D-Day, ironically enough), no one will be in charge of my campus's library. There will be a group of department heads, who I assume will have to meet all the time to make decisions. (There are actually a plethora of logistical problems with this plan, and I won't bore you with details. Trust me, this is not going to be a smooth operation -- I am not just saying this because it is my promotion that is being eliminated. This is simply a stupid idea, put together by people who obviously have no idea how a library, let alone our library, works.)<br /><br />Unfortunately for me and my coworkers, this was not the only change to the reporting structure. I was not the only person getting screwed over. New Girl would be losing The Gorilla, which was great. But she would be gaining the supervision for THREE other departments. Yes, I said three. I would like to mention that she was hired to be a one-person department and not supervise anyone. So this was most definitely not what she moved across the country for. I would also like to add that she does not have the experience or knowledge to supervise some of these departments very well. (Don't get me wrong, she is a rockstar librarian, but there are some library jobs that require an extremely specialized set of skills, and if you don't have them, you may as well be a baseball player trying to conduct an orchestra -- no offense to baseball players.) And it's not just that. The job she was hired for is plenty for one person to do, and she is doing it so well, and now she won't have time to do it very much. This will affect all of us.<br /><br />Before all of this happened, we actually needed to hire 3<span style="font-style: italic;"> more</span> librarians to be fully staffed. With their new structure, we will actually have 3 <span style="font-style: italic;">fewer</span> librarians. We are essentially down 6 people. The whole library just got screwed. They can give me all their b.s. explanations, but I know it's really because of money and a lack of any attempt to understand how libraries work or what we need. With their new plan (which was nothing like the one New Girl and I created), they don't have to fill any of our vacancies except the dean's. They are combining and squishing so many things around, the currently vacant positions are going to be absorbed by others. They are going to be paying New Girl more, but at what cost? I will probably not be so lucky. I will get a bonus for the few months that I was in my promoted status, so that is cool. My office will also be free of The Gorilla, which is even better, actually.<br /><br />This has felt comparable to grief for me. First, there was shock. <span style="font-style: italic;">They're not really doing this. That is crazy! They were just kicking this around as an idea. </span>Then, sadness. <span style="font-style: italic;">Getting rid of The Gorilla is great, but this is going to lower our morale even more. I really like my new job, and I am going to miss it. </span>The next day, I was seething with anger. <span style="font-style: italic;">They broke their promise to me! They took something away from me that I worked really hard for! And I'm good at it! They have no idea what they are doing and don't seem to care how this affects others! </span>Late last week, I reached the negotiation stage. <span style="font-style: italic;">I can convince them that this won't work. I just have to prove it!</span> But after my request to meet with my temporary dean was not acknowledged, reality set in. This is going to happen whether I like it or not. Nothing I can do or say will change it.<br /><br />The thing that makes me the saddest is that now, there is nowhere for me to move up here. There is no Head Librarian position anymore. They are requiring the new dean to have a PhD (which is absurd, because very VERY few library deans have PhDs -- only library deans at major universities have them, and most of the other deans and faculty at this school do not have PhDs-- some don't even have masters degrees.) I am stuck being the head of my department. That's it. That's the end of the line for me. This school doesn't seem to care if I would like to advance my career here or if I get burned out. That is what upsets me about this the most. I think I could really make great things happen here. So do my coworkers. So do faculty I have talked to. But HR and upper administration don't seem to value that. They just want me to go back to being in charge of the busiest department in the library, where I will get burned out quickly. This promotion was really the only thing keeping me here. I have no choice but to begin looking for a new job elsewhere.<br /><br />New Girl and I have been talking to and emailing our old boss about all of this. She is furious with our HR department and cannot believe what they are doing to us. She thinks they have wanted to do something like this for a long time and are taking advantage of us because we don't have a leader right now. We have no one to defend us to HR or upper administration.<br /><br />Only one thing can save me. My old boss. The dean who left. She hates her new job and wants to come back and be our dean again. She even wrote a letter to our president to make her intentions formal and clear. The President and the other higher ups adore my old boss, and would like her to come back. But there are some negotiations they will have to work out. My old boss wants to stay in Atlanta. They will want her here in Savannah. Right now, they told her that if they don't find a new dean in the next couple of months, they will have her come back. If she gets to come back, but gets to stay in Atlanta, she will immediately advocate for me to get my promotion back -- permanently. Actually, knowing how much she likes me, she will advocate for me to get it back no matter where she is.<br /><br />I wonder if I will still be here then.<br /></span>Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-2097227025076606722011-03-19T20:19:00.004-04:002011-03-19T21:21:45.075-04:00Now Accepting ApplicationsWANTED: 100% single women, between 25-35 years of age, who live in Savannah, GA and are interested in participating in PG-13 level shenanigans with woman of similar mindset. Shenanigans may include, but are not limited to: laughing, dancing, happy hours, flirting with cute boys, making out with cute boys, shopping, brunch/coffee dates, talking on the phone, watching reruns of Sex and the City, getting pedicures. Hipsters and goody-two shoes need not apply. Preference given to former sorority girls who have experience in the aforementioned shenanigans.<br /><br />Here it is, another Saturday night, and I am alone. Is it just me, or is making friends way more difficult after college? I think I have blogged about this before...I'll try and keep this brief.<br /><br />St. Patty's Day is in full swing, and the city is crawling with fun, young people, and I am dying to be one of them. I want to laugh and flirt and dance...but instead, my only choices are to watch tv with my dog or be the weird girl who is out at a bar by herself. Stone cold sober, I might add, which makes fitting into the debauchery that much more difficult. (If anyone has mastered the art of going out alone, please teach me your ways!)<br /><br />I believe there are 2 main contributing factors to my problem.<br /><br />1. I keep moving around too much. It takes time to make good friends, and my favorite party buds are all in Columbia, SC right now. (They couldn't make it down here for St. Patty's Day)<br /><br />2. I have not been making as much of an effort to make friends here in Savannah as I probably should. Don't get me wrong -- I love my coworkers and I love my Bible Study friends. But neither group is into doing what I'm into doing at the moment. I am not a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hipster_%28contemporary_subculture%29">hipster</a> (like all my coworkers) and I definitely do not want a family-friendly, G-rated evening (like my Bible Study friends). I am envisioning a slightly tamer version of the frat parties I attended while in college. Where do sorority girls go when they grow up??? Oh yeah, they get married. Right. I sorta skipped that part. Note to self: get married so you don't care about frat parties any more.<br /><br />I cannot be the last single, 30 year old (ok, ok, 32 year old) non-hipster in this town (seriously, y'all, Savannah is Hipster Central) who wants to snog with cute boys in dark corners and dance to hip hop songs with her girlfriends.<br /><br />I'm too fratty for the hipsters and too bad girl for the BS crowd. Sometimes I feel like I live a double life. I can't really be myself around any of my friends.<br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />I know there are girls out there like me. I just can't find them! Argh. So frustrating. To make matters worse, my own mother has a booming social life -- AND a boyfriend. Something about that doesn't seem quite right. She's always been super duper social butterfly, and I have always considered myself one to a lesser extent. Put me in a room full of talking people and I can hold my own -- even inter-generationally. For me, the hard part is finding the room. I know what to do when I get there!<br /><br />Guys have it so much easier when it comes to this problem. "So, how do you like them Yankees?" is all they seem to need to become instant buds with someone. Girls aren't as open. I wish we would stop acting like that. Would it kill women to be a little bit friendlier? In this day and age, we need girlfriends more than ever. Why not invite the girl who complimented your shoes to sit with your friends at the bar? Why not introduce your group to the group next to you? Isn't it a "the more, the merrier" situation? What's with all the snarkiness and competition? That's got to be my least favorite thing about my gender. Why can't we just be cool and friendly? I should wear a shirt that says, "Trust me, I don't want your man. I just want to have brunch with you so we can recount the previous night's girly debauchery."<br /><br />I'm kind of worried that I may have a touch of my dad's personality when it comes to friends. We used to tease him, because if you were to stick all of his friends into a room, it would be a random assortment of people -- very few of them would have anything in common. Luckily for him, he was much more comfortable being a loner than I am. Plus, it's hard to feel lonely when you have a wife and 7 kids. My dad would have a deep connection with each one of his friends, but only in one way. That's kind of how I am -- I have one friend for X, another friend for Y, a third friend for Z. I wish I could find a friend that covers the whole alphabet! Where are the Samantha, Charlotte and Mirandas to my Carrie? (Not that I'm a Carrie...I'm probably closer to Charlotte, actually.) My mom's friends are all whole-alphabet friends and they've known each other for like, 40 years-- ever since high school/college. This is incredible to me. I don't even talk to my college friends anymore, let alone high school. Then again, they are all in Chicago and married with babies, so really, what do we have in common? I feel I'm a completely different person now than I was then.<br /><br />Anyway, no point in moping around about this. I need a plan of action. Time to join some clubs or start new activities. Or at least go to restaurants/bars I don't normally go to. And I have to force myself to talk to people with out fear -- otherwise, I will go into shy, silent mode. No one wants to hang out with Silent Girl. (This is one of the reasons why I always feel so comfortable around funny people -- they totally break the ice for me.)<br /><br />Oh well. At least I won't get barfed on or have to deal with annoying drunk people tonight. And I won't wake up smelling like cigarettes. That makes me feel better.<br /><br />Man, what I wouldn't give for one last frat party right now....and a wholly single (no hubby, no fiance, not even a boyfriend) non-hipster, non-Bible Study gal pal to go with!<br /><br />Until then, I'll be singing along to this...which makes me giggle, so that helps!<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xh_9QhRzJEs" allowfullscreen="" width="640" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe><br />Thanks for listening to my whining, as usual. I'll try not to be Pity Party Girl next time.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-24471299390722613282011-03-14T13:42:00.006-04:002011-03-14T14:38:58.931-04:00Cougars -- RAWRRRR!!!So far, I am really liking my new position at work. I get to tackle problems I've always wanted to work on, help my coworkers do better at their jobs and learn how to manage people better. It's been great so far, and I'm getting a lot of positive feedback.<br /><br />I'm just not getting any money for it. *grumble*<br /><br />What they are going to do is give me a bonus when I'm no longer in this interim position. If the new Big Boss decides to officially give me my title, they will give me the bonus and also up my pay. If the new Big Boss decides to not give me the title, I will go back to my previous position and just get a bonus. Then I will immediately look for a new job, because hello! That's a pretty clear message. But I think I will hopefully get it. *knocks on wood* I'm not too upset about this situation, because I'm doing this more for the experience than the pay. I need this promotion on my resume.<br /><br />I don't know when Big Boss's position will get filled, though. They are bringing in candidates left and right, but all we get to do is give them a tour -- we are not involved in the interview process. I am not a fan of this system, but it's out of my control. The odd thing is, our HR person randomly emailed one of my staff and asked them to sit in on one of the interviews (not all of them, just one of the interviews. As she is really new, this is really odd to both of us. She's trying to encourage HR to ask me to do it instead, as I'm the more logical person to be there (not to toot my own horn, but I am).<br /><br />And I can't outright fire The Gorilla, but I can assure you I am all up in his beeswax! He was demoted and is now under the new girl, and he keeps telling her that he hates his job and "can't take it anymore" and is looking for a new job. HR told us that the next time he says it, we can consider it his verbal resignation and they will back us on it!<br /><br />Alright, enough about work. Let's talk about something more fun...like my dating life. No, really, I honestly have an update! It turns out I am not dead! I had a blind date about a week ago. First date in a year and a half. WOOT! Backstory: I have a friend whose mission in life is to get me a man. I do not argue with this. She randomly calls me with potential guys in mind, and our conversations go like this:<br /><br />Fixer-Upper: Hey, VB, what's your age limit on older m--<br />Me: None. Don't care.<br />Fixer-Upper: You're sure? Cuz he's--<br />Me: Don't care. Give him my number.<br />Fixer-Upper: Ok, cool! I'll tell him to call you.<br /><br />I did veto a date with at 22 year old, mostly because that honestly just feels illegal. But I did say yes to one of her ideas, and so I messaged him on facebook. (You should be clapping right now, because I do NOT NOT NOT make first moves. But Fixer-Upper is the type of person who would nag me incessantly if I didn't do something to meet this guy, so I did it to get her off my back.)<br /><br />Long story short, I was on a blind date the next night. Here are the stats: 26, tall, cute, works 3 jobs (one of which is being a fireman -- hawt), has a dog, former military guy (for some reason, military guys are always into me. Not sure why.), is a Christian....so all in all, a good package. Also, he doesn't drink, which is a nice change of pace. I was more hung up on the age thing than he was. I have never dated someone this much younger than me. He was just starting middle school when I was in the 12th grade. It's kind of weird. Honestly, I would feel more comfortable with someone who has more life experience than me. Call me old-fashioned. He's very sweet, and we had good conversations and a decent amount of stuff in common, but I also kinda wish he was a little funnier and more cerebral. (WHERE are all the smart, funny, well-educated men in this world????) But he's a good person and cute enough to make out with, so I would probably give him another shot.<br /><br />Although he told our mutual friend that he's into me, he hasn't called me. Fixer-Upper wants me to call him, but I refuse. I set up the first date. If he wants to see me again, he knows where to find me. *dusts off hands*<br /><br />Meanwhile, St. Patty's Day is right around the corner. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, or if any of you have heard, but we have a MASSIVE St. Patty's Day festival here every year. It's the 2nd biggest east of the Mississippi. This is the day that the rest of Savannah's year pivots around. We even have a big countdown clock for it. (I highly recommend it, btw, because you can walk around with open containers here in Savannah and we have a ton of bars! You're all invited!)<br /><br />The cool thing is, this year, for the first time, I live on the parade route!!! Although the parade starts at 10am, everyone starts drinking earlier than that. So I'm having all my friends over for snacks and parade-watching and beer drinking. I can't wait! Then, I'm going to another friend's house for a dinner-time cookout. Then I'll hit the bars -- hello, cute vacationing single men!!!! Just so you know, I am Irish!!!!<br /><br />Speaking of cute, single vacationing men and St. Patty's Day, I texted New Year's Eve Guy to invite him to visit for St. Patty's Day. I figured, what do I have to lose, right? I thought he would not be into this idea or (worse) completely ignore my text, but that didn't happen. He said he can't go because <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SXSW">he's attending another event this week</a>, but he's definitely got Savannah on his wish list. Yes, he used the word "definitely". And I'm clinging to it!<br /><br />I know I don't know him very well, but somehow, this guy totally got under my skin. Go ahead, laugh at me and my long-shot crushes. But there's just something about him that I am SO into. Probably because he's one of the funniest and most fun people I've ever met. *sigh* He's younger than me, too, although not by much. Did I mention he's super fun to make out with? *swoon*<br /><br />Am I a cougar? Or some other feline species? Someone needs to set up an official, tiered system for cougars, snow leopards, cheetahs, et al. so I know what to call myself. This sounds like a job for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_%28pickup_artist%29">Mystery</a>.<br /><br />In other cougar news, (yes, dear readers, there is more!) I was hanging out with my dad's ex-wife this past week (long story). She's 70 and looking for a place to retire. She wants to live in one of those all-inclusive resorts that have tennis, swimming, etc. She was telling me all about these complexes, and then she happened to mention that these retirement communities have major HIV epidemics in them!!!<br /><br />Excuse me?<br /><br />Well, it turns out that many of them are widowed, bored, popping Viagra like it's going out of style, not in the habit of using condoms, and so when you combine all of that together, you get...well, HIV problems. I didn't believe it until<a href="http://www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/population/elderly.asp"> I did some research</a>. Huh. Who knew.<br /><br />I'm not one to end on a depressing note (I mean, who likes to think about Grandma humping her way through retirement? Not me, and I don't even have a grandma!) so I will leave you with one of my favorite MadTV clips. Lorraine was one of the first (and best!) cougars of all:<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/EOhCgy9i31k" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe>Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-43875672672234621242011-02-25T17:50:00.002-05:002011-02-25T18:02:03.812-05:00Movin' On UpHey Y'all --<br /><br />Ok, it's gorgeous outside and I really want to go for a run before it gets too dark, but I had to post super quick. Updates:<br /><br />1. Yes, I got the promotion!!!! YAY!!! Go me!!! I have worked my butt off for the last 2 years, and it's so nice to get recognized. I am technically "Interim", but I think it's because the school is broke and they don't want to have to pay me -- yes, I am still awaiting word on my compensation. But I will be compensated. Now that my Big Boss is gone (her last day was Wednesday), I am * gulp * in charge. So now I supervise like...20 people. This should be interesting.<br /><br />2. Magically, my free internet is back!!!! This is soooo awesome, cuz I gotta pay my taxes.<br /><br />3. Bought a new mattress today. I feel like a grown-up. I got a good deal and waited for a good sale and comparison shopped. I know new mattresses are not very exciting, but I have not been sleeping well for a while and considering my mattress is over 10 years old, I'm pretty sure that is playing a role. For some reason, mattress shopping was an intimidating process for me.<br /><br />4. Mattress shopping got WAY more interesting today when I walked into the mattress store and was helped by a SUPER hot guy. Swoon! He could have sold me anything. I was a goner. But I stuck to my budget, so that's good. I should have asked if he was included in the price. Tee hee! Note to self: work on flirting skills.<br /><br />5. Sunday is my birthday! YAY! I am turning *ahem* 22. Ok, not really. But just pretend that I am. I took today off to run errands (and buy mattresses from hot guys). Tomorrow I am going to an oyster roast and a baby shower, and the heading up to Columbia to party w/MJ for my Birthfest (as we like to call it). Hopefully, this will involve smooches with hotties. But I am mostly looking forward to MJ time -- we have lots to catch up on. She and I will go shopping on Sunday, and then my new mattress arrives on Monday morning.<br /><br />So far, 2011 rocks. I can't wait to see more!!!!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-77539188221990623762011-02-05T12:43:00.003-05:002011-02-05T13:38:48.777-05:00CommitmentY'all, I have had a terrible cold since Sunday. I feel much better today, but still have the remnants of a terrible TERRIBLE cough. The dry, itchy kind. Deep down in my lungs. This morning I awoke with very swollen glands under my jaw -- I know this is pretty typical after a cold, but it's freaking me out. I've never seen them this swollen before. If it's not better by Monday, I'm going to the doctor. Anyone know how to drain lymph nodes?<br /><br />In more exciting news, I learned yesterday that my brother, Fat Dog, popped the question to his girlfriend of 3 years!!!! My whole family is in a tizzy, because we ADORE his girlfriend and we've been nagging him to marry this girl for at least a year. When I saw them at Christmas, I asked Fat Dog what he got her for Christmas. He said that he had to go to a conference in Las Vegas in February, and that he was taking her with him. "Wow, that took a lot of effort, you dumb jerk. Why don't you take the money you spend on her plane ticket and put it towards a ring, you idiot?" I thought. I didn't have to ask The Czarina if she felt the same way -- I could tell by the look on her face.<br /><br />Little did we know, he had a grand master plan to take her on a tour of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoover_dam">Hoover Dam</a> while they were there, and pop the question there! Yay!!! They are flying back from Vegas today, and I'm sure The Czarina will descend on them with all sorts of questions and ideas. I am so so SO excited and happy for them. I have spent the last 24 hours talking to various family members and we're all super happy. She is such a great girl, and they are so perfect together! In fact, I like her so much that I don't even mind that my younger brother is getting married before me. :)<br /><br />I have some updates about the job here at work that I applied for a few weeks ago. Big Boss called me into her office the other day and gave me the scoop. She told me that she thinks I am the best candidate (SWEET!). But then she said, "I also have to tell you something that may change your mind about taking this position."<br /><br />Oh boy. Now what?<br /><br />"I am resigning," she said. "My last day will be February 23rd. So you may not want to take this position on, knowing that you won't have a supervisor to help you. I can give you a couple of days to think about this, but I will need to know your answer by Friday."<br /><br />Big Boss then explained to me why she's resigning -- she got a divorce about a year or so ago, and now her son lives in Atlanta, and she wants to be closer to him, so she accepted a job at a school close to there.<br /><br />"Can't you just keep your position and work from the Atlanta campus?" I asked.<br /><br />"I asked, but since Savannah is our main campus, they need me here. Also, my ex's house is so far away from the Atlanta campus, I'd be commuting constantly and wouldn't see my son much more than I am now."<br /><br />I could tell by the look on her face that this was a difficult decision she had made and was truly only doing it because she felt she had to. "I think you're making the right decision," I told her. "I need some time to think about this, but I can let you know on Friday how I feel about it."<br /><br />My head spun with all kinds of questions -- how could I learn an entire new position in 3 weeks? Would I be expected to take on some of her duties, too, after she leaves, since I'd essentially be in charge of the library at the main campus? What if we don't get a new Big Boss for months? Since Big Boss's boss is retiring in the next few months, what happens then? How can I supervise The Gorilla without any help?<br /><br />After thinking about it for the rest of the day, I began to realize some things:<br />1. It's going to be crazy for me whether Big Boss is here or not.<br />2. If I don't take this promotion, that puts all of us at risk for getting not just one bad boss, but two. Not to toot my own horn, but my coworkers (most of them) really like me, and I'd feel better knowing that I am at least 2nd in command around here. Also, if I take myself out of the running for this promotion, there will literally be no leader here when Big Boss leaves. That is not good -- several departments, about 20 or so people, with no supervisor??<br />3. I can handle it. I can work with the woman who has the similar position at our Atlanta campus. She and I have a good working relationship, and she can help me learn the ropes.<br /><br />The next day, I went back into Big Boss's office and said, "I'm in. I still want it. I just have some questions..." She seemed relieved. We talked a little bit about how this will all go down, but we couldn't get too deep into anything because we both had a bunch of stuff to do, and we should really wait until I officially get the position. So she met with her boss and told him she wants me to get the job, and he agreed. It's been moved on to finalization by HR, so I am awaiting to hear from them.<br /><br />Meanwhile, the days are ticking by and Big Boss and I haven't really met much -- which concerns me. I need training, I have lots of questions, we need to plan some stuff....luckily, she will be remaining on as a "consultant" until we fill her position. This is great, because it means I can still email and call her when I need help. She's been busy informing people across campus about her departure, dealing with The Gorilla and working on various big picture things (our budgets for next year were recently due, for example).<br /><br />Big Boss is great, but she tends to have a one-track-mind. Right now, she is consumed with the news that The Woman Who Hates Everyone (WWHE) is going to be next on the list of layoffs around the school. I haven't mentioned WWHE much, because I basically avoid her. She's essentially the library's secretary, and she's pretty much evil incarnate. She is an angry, vindictive, sneaky, deceitful person. She should have been fired years ago, and for a million different reasons over the last couple of decades, but has always managed to weasel her way out of it via different legal strategies (our school is paranoid of lawsuits, and will do anything to avoid them). But apparently, her name is on the layoff list, so Big Boss is on the verge of a major celebration, as am I, because this would mean I would never have to supervise WWHE! As an extra added bonus, WWHE is the person who has been coaching The Gorilla, so if she's gone, he will not be able to work the system very well. The timing is great.<br /><br />So slowly but surely, it looks like I will be getting this promotion. Hopefully soon I will know. A lot of my coworkers are really anxious about Big Boss's departure, because we have got to have someone steering this ship! Only a few people know that I applied for this job. I'm starting to get impatient, I have to admit. As tempting as it is, I am not going to put effort into a job I don't have yet -- especially before talking about what kind of a raise I will get!<br /><br />I'm ready to commit to new responsibilities, to take on new challenges and run with them. I feel like a thoroughbred, in the gate, giddy as I wait for the pistol shot that tells me it's time to go.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-84947506767218612492011-01-15T16:33:00.004-05:002011-01-15T17:29:25.320-05:00Forks in the RoadLately, everywhere I turn, I am faced with choices. Not just chocolate-or-vanilla choices. These are big, life-changing choices. I pride myself on being a decisive person (sometimes, too decisive...), but this sudden deluge is making me ponder my life on a grand scale.<br /><br />My previous supervisor quit last September, which totally stunk. We all miss him. His position is still vacant, and I am qualified for it. He has been encouraging me to apply and has seemed disappointed that I haven't done so. After kicking this idea around for months, I just applied for it. Before doing so, I spoke with Big Boss about it, and she really liked the idea, especially since she was just told there's no money in the budget for her to fly potential candidates in for an interview. She also told me that she is really needing to fill it soon. I told her my concern with applying was that I'd be supervising The Gorilla (my awful, awful coworker). She told me that she had already been thinking about how to restructure the staff so a different person would supervise him -- this is a relief to me, but it means the new girl (who we all adore) would end up supervising him. This makes me feel like an asshole. How can I do that to someone? Big Boss said she had been planning on making this change before I talked to her, but I would still feel like a jerk. Then again, this new girl is probably the only one of us who doesn't have bad blood with him and the personality to handle him.<br /><br />Big Boss said that if they don't let her actually hire someone (remember, we are still in financial cutbacks here at the moment), she may put me in it temporarily, which is fine -- it's still something I can put on my resume, and I can still ask for some extra money. I'm secretly crossing my fingers that the higher ups will tell her she's got to eliminate some positions, and then we can just get rid of The Gorilla!<br /><br />Obviously, she cannot guarantee that I'll get it (I know she likes 2 other applicants who have applied), but based on her reaction to my interest (excited and relieved), I feel I stand a good chance. If I do get to cross this bridge, I would like to talk to Big Boss about creating some sort of hybrid thing for me until my position could be filled. I don't want to leave my staff hanging. We can barely function with 3 full time people. What would my staff think? It would mean a LOT more work for them if my position goes vacant, even for a couple of months.<br /><br />So I am a little conflicted about my decision. I went ahead and did it because this step up the ladder would open up new positions for me for the rest of my career -- after a position like this, I could run any library, more or less. I am getting a little burned out in my current post, too. I'm ready for more responsibility and new duties. And just because I move up here at this school doesn't mean that I can't still look for jobs in Virginia. Might as well make some extra bucks while I'm figuring out how to get out of this town. So, I went for it. We'll see.<br /><br />Of course, the next day, I found a super-awesome job at a museum in Richmond. I am fairly qualified for it, and I'm going to apply for that, too. I guess when it rains, it pours!<br /><br />There are also some big choices in my dating life (er, lack thereof!). I don't talk about it much on here, but I am growing more religious as I get older. Maybe it's maturity or life experience, but I have come to find that prayer and attending church has added so much richness to my life. I recently started attending a church I really like, and I've been meeting with a Bible Study group for almost a year now. I absolutely love my Bible Study friends. It is the most supportive and wise group of girls I have ever met.<br /><br />Last time we met, my Bible Study group talked about dating, sex and marriage -- and how to do these things in a Christian way. Our group is made up of single, dating and married women -- so there are lots of perspectives. One of the things that all the (happily, I might add) married women said was that none of them had sex with their husbands before marriage. Even if they weren't virgins when they met their hubbies, they did not have sex with them until their Honeymoon. Some of them didn't even kiss!!!<br /><br />This is a completely foreign concept to me. I happily turned my V-card in about 10 years ago, and have never looked back. I don't regret it. I look forward to the next time I get to partake (in case you didn't realize that after reading about NYE Guy!). This is pretty much in direct conflict with how I'm supposed to be living. I haven't figured out how to reconcile "Being a Christian Girl" with "Major Enjoyment of Lotsa Sex with Non-Husbands" yet. But you know, we're all works in progress.<br /><br />These married friends of mine all said that in addition to strengthening their faith, that this enabled their relationships to strengthen -- for the right reasons. They really got to know each other and their relationships had better priorities. While I totally see this, and can see how removing sex would enable you to really get to know someone better before marriage, I am just not sure if I could actually do it. I mean, I realize that I should probably *ahem* wait longer to jump in the sack with new guys, but the thought of ZERO sex(or even a little messin' around!) makes my face go pale and my stomach queasy. I'm not one of those people who thinks you have to sleep with someone before you marry them -- I'm one of those people who just REALLY likes sex. It's like someone is telling me to enjoy summer...without flipflops, ice cream or the beach. It sorta takes out some of the best parts about having a boyfriend! I guess I don't think it's that big of a deal to get my freak on and enjoy it. I'm sure if I was still a virgin, I'd think differently. But I know what I'd be missing out on.<br /><br />But this strategy worked for them. Perhaps they are on to something. If I do abstain completely *gulp* with someone I'd really like to get to know, I'm sorry to say it would be for practical/secular reasons, rather than religious. I definitely agree it would force you to get to know that person very well. If I met someone who I could take seriously, I will try to wait as long as possible. But what about those guys you don't want to marry? I meet them a lot. Can't I have some fun?<br /><br />And maybe it's just a coincidence that these girls didn't do it with their now-hubbies, which resulted in a marriage proposal. There are tons of couples out there who are happily married and boinked plenty of times before walking down the aisle. Right? I mean, looking back on it, all the sex (and it was good!) didn't stop me and Ex-Fiancee from getting to know each other/deciding if we were a good fit outside of the bedroom. The good sex didn't save our relationship.<br /><br />I know this is a bridge I can cross when I get to it, but I've been thinking about it a lot. Then again, I think about boinking a lot in general. LOL Maybe it's good that I don't have a boyfriend or dating life right now. I gotta figure out some stuff.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-64206224419240147832011-01-09T22:23:00.004-05:002011-01-09T23:29:09.291-05:00Bringing Sexy BackHappy New Year!!!! I am so glad it's 2011. I don't know if it's because of my determination to get back to the old me or if it's because of my fabulous New Year's weekend, but I am so happy and optimistic about everything right now. I know this will be a great year. I can just feel it!!! Warm fuzzies, everyone. I am Suzie Effing Sunshine right now!!!!!!<br /><br />Sorry, I will take it down a notch.<br /><br />But I have super awesome news!!!! And I need your help.<br /><br />You see, there is (drumroll, please) Boy News. And true to form, I either messed up or I just completely do not understand the opposite sex. Still. * sigh * I know. But where would this blog be, if it weren't for my dating/hook-up antics?<br /><br />New Year's Eve was just going to be another VB-sits-on-her-couch type of weekend, until I began to miss MJ and remembered that Mr. Bill was having a party. And what is New Year's for if not hanging out with old friends? So I told them I would come up. MJ informs me that Rocky (a member of The Rat Pack, if you remember those posts -- if you don't know what I am talking about, you should search for these posts in my archives) was coming to SC for New Year's Eve.<br /><br />And he was bringing a buddy of his.<br /><br />"Anyone I know?" I asked, ever-so-innocently.<br /><br />"Nope, this one's a new one," she said<span style="font-style: italic;">.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hmmm. He will probably be cute. Or at least fun. Definitely worthy of leg-shaving</span>, I thought, as I packed a "boobie shirt" to wear when we went out for New Year's. [Side note: does anyone else call them "boobie shirts"? Or is it just me?]<br /><br />Rocky's friends are always cute and fun. I was starting to get a little excited about this. So I went to bed kind of excited for my short drive the next day.<br /><br />I arrived in Columbia just in time for a late lunch with MJ, Rocky and his friend, who I will dub NYE Guy. NYE Guy was cute, and extremely funny, as I soon found out. Later, I would discover that he is also kind of geeky (he likes to go to museums!) -- <3 Swoon <3<br /><br />I started to get that feeling that it was going to be a great weekend. WOOT!<br /><br />After eating, we went back to MJ's house and hung out for a bit before getting ready for Mr. Bill's party. I put on my boobie shirt and slapped on some extra eyeliner and heels. What? What was that? I felt kinda....hot. What a great feeling. It had been so long since I've felt that way. This feeling could best be described as the boring, depressed iceberg version of VB melting back into happy and exciting VB.<br /><br />I was bringing sexy back.<br /><br />So we head to Mr. Bill's. It was really great to see him, as well as a couple other people I knew. My only regret is that I didn't get a chance to talk to Mr. Bill as much as I wanted. So Mr. Bill, if you're reading this -- hi!!!! I spent most of my time at the party laughing with MJ, Rocky and NYE Guy, as well as a girl I will call "Other MJ" and her hilarious best friend who I will call Vietnam. We were our usual perverted selves, and there was a joke about empty beer bottles which even I cannot repeat. Hilarity and antics ensued, in other words.<br /><br />Soon, it was almost time for the ball to drop. Rocky began asking everyone who they are kissing at midnight. I was sitting next to NYE Guy and when Rocky asked him, he turns to me and informs me that he wanted to kiss me. I giggled like a 12 year old. And so he did. And it was great.<br /><br />Not long after, we all took the party to Art Bar, a fun bar in downtown Columbia. There was a masquerade theme happening there, so we had fun with all the masks laying around. NYE Guy and I kept sneaking away to dark corners to make out. Yay! So far, 2011 was rocking.<br /><br />Fast forward to 4am, when I am still awake (!) and still in a good mood (!). But all good things must come to an end, and it was time to go home. So I drove MJ, Rocky, NYE Guy and Vietnam back to MJ's house. Shortly after that, NYE Guy and I are continuing our make-out session, and it was so much fun! He is so fun....sorry, I can't go into details.....no way to explain without being overly descriptive....ah, memories....where was I? Oh yes, so we didn't do anything R-rated or anything, but that was mostly due to the fact that it was 5am and we were exhausted! After messing around for a bit, he realized that we could just continue this the next night -- hooray for 3 day weekends!!! So we fell asleep....<br /><br />...and picked up right where we left off in the morning when we woke up!<br /><br />...but still did not *ahem* complete the transaction, if you get my drift. No worries. There was still another night to go! Yes. Best weekend ever.<br /><br />He and I got up (at 1pm)and joined the others for food and then all 4 of us went to a museum. After that, we ate and then went back to MJ's to watch some movies. Soon, it was time for bed (YAY!) because the guys had to drive back to NYC the next day. I don't think I have ever been so excited to put on my jammies ever in my whole life. Especially with the hope that they would soon be removed by this yummy beefcake funny guy. So I get into bed while he's brushing his teeth. He climbs in and....<br /><br />wants to spoon.<br /><br />W.<br /><br />T.<br /><br />F.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Ok, fine, I can meet him halfway</span>, I thought. I nestled in closer to him. Nothing. I made a little moan. Nada. <span style="font-style: italic;">Time for something a little more obvious,</span> I thought. I grabbed his hand and put it on my boob. "Awesome," he said.<br /><br />And then he promptly fell asleep.<br /><br />Ok, yes, I know he was probably tired, but so was I. And since when do guys pick sleep over sex? This was so lame. When he started snoring in my ear, I gave up and fell asleep.<br /><br />The guys left very early the next morning, so I went back to bed after saying goodbye in my sleepy haze. No smooching, even. <span style="font-style: italic;">This is so lame</span>, I thought as I fell asleep.<br /><br />When I got up, MJ and I decided to get breakfast and get a pedicure to debrief on the night. When I told her about my end of things, she tried her best to help me figure out a reason for my rejection, but we are both at a loss as to why he just wanted to spoon the 2nd night.<br /><br />By the end of the day, he had friended me on facebook. 3 days later, I messaged him to thank him for posting all the great photos he took from that night. He replied right away and told me that he doesn't like messaging on FB and that I should text him. <span style="font-style: italic;">Cool!</span> I thought. <span style="font-style: italic;">Maybe there is more?</span><br /><br />I didn't have time to text him then, so I texted him the next night. I wish I could say that we had a super hawt flirty conversation, but no. We ended up talking about the weather. Why would you ask a girl to text you, only to talk about the weather??? Plus, it was one of those conversations where I felt like I was interviewing him. Hello! Conversations require questions from both parties! It's called "getting to know someone". So I took this to mean that he didn't want to get to know me. He's just not that into me. I get it. Fine. Closure. Done.<br /><br />But then he texted me last night! To talk about beer! Who is this guy??? Argh!<br /><br />Please feel free to weigh in with your opinions, because I am thinking of re-naming this guy Mr. Mixed Signals. I invited him and Rocky down here for St. Patty's Day. I guess we will see if they come down. Do you think he likes me but he's just bad at flirting? Should I be more obvious w/flirty texts??? Who am I kidding. This is classic Just Not That Into Me.<br /><br />It's good that I am blogging right now, because it is preventing me from messaging him on FB. Must. Fight. Temptation. MJ thinks I am reacting like this because I haven't met anyone in a long time and I'm just overreacting. I don't know. All I know is that I was not done making out with him!!!! And he makes me laugh. A lot. *sigh*<br /><br />Alright, here's the part that is (almost as) cool. Ever since our little make-out sesh, I have felt like sex on a stick. I think I just needed some validation or to break the ice or something. I feel like I have come back to life! I am happy, I feel like a hot babe, I suddenly have all this confidence. It's wonderful! I should be slutty more often. ;)<br /><br />Which brings me to my New Year's Resolution:<br />The be sexier.....and slightly sluttier.<br /><br />This is the BEST resolution ever. Because it's a way more fun way to diet and exercise. I have managed to fool my brain into thinking this is fun. I am fully embracing the Hot Girl Lifestyle. And it's so much fun! I went for a run yesterday -- over a mile! And it was great! My whole goal is to never be home -- Hot Girls are out busy doing stuff and meeting people. Oh crap. Hot Girls also go to bed by this time of night....unless they are making out. I should go, y'all.<br /><br />2011 is gonna be a great year. I can feel it.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-22459474500625087372010-12-20T13:39:00.004-05:002010-12-20T14:46:51.641-05:00The Gorilla ChroniclesI know it is the holidays, and I should be posting nice, warm-fuzzy posts, full of holiday cheer and goodwill towards men.<br /><br />But I hate one of my coworkers.<br /><br />And I have to vent about him before I can get back to my warm fuzzy place. Luckily for you, dear readers, I am pretty much exhausted from talking about him, thinking about him, venting about him and stressing out about him. So I will give you the short version of what I will call The Gorilla Chronicles.<br /><br />Last June, we hired this guy. He's the supervisor for another department at the library. This department works pretty closely with my department, so it's only natural for us to share an office (there are few private offices in my building). I prepared for his arrival by stocking up his desk with some office supplies, giving him a copy of a training manual I made for my department and emailing him stuff I thought he might be interested in knowing. I assumed that since he was new not only to our school, but also to Savannah, he would have TONS of questions to ask me. I mean, isn't that what people do when they are new at a job? They ask a bunch of questions. Since I answer questions for a living, this is fine with me. I am happy to help.<br /><br />Only, he didn't ask questions. And when our boss and our colleagues tried to explain to him why we do certain things a certain way, they were all ignored. When S, the woman who was temporarily running his department before he arrived gave him advice, it was ignored.<br /><br />So this guy was basically learning nothing about his new job. When he did ask questions, he never understood people's explanations, so the other person had to explain themselves over and over and over. It's extremely frustrating. It was like he wasn't even listening. So even when he does want to know something, it's an uphill battle to explain it to him. But usually he operates in this vicious cycle: he doesn't ask questions --> he doesn't know anything --> this doesn't stop him from barking orders at people to do things that make no sense --> he is totally opposed from receiving input from others. Sounds fun, huh? Yeah, the last 6 months at work have sucked.<br /><br />To boot, he snubbed his nose at us whenever we invited him out to baseball games (most of us attend the local baseball games here in town about 3 x per summer), happy hours, lunches, etc. We realize that socializing with your coworkers is not a requirement of your job, but is it too much to ask that you at least say good morning to people? Or tell your staff that you're leaving for the evening? It's like he didn't want to talk to ANYONE. He literally does not talk to me. Do you know how awkward it is to sit 6 feet away from someone, 40 hours a week, and never acknowledge their existence?<br /><br />For a while, we thought he was just kind of weird. Ok, so he's not social. Whatever. But then, he started to make all these changes in his department. His ideas stink on ice, to put it bluntly. They were confusing to his staff, not communicated well and seemed to be fixing things that weren't broken. Whenever his staff asked a question about it, because like I said, these ideas were not communicated clearly, he would tell them that they are not supposed to ask questions, but instead are supposed to just do what he says -- he's the supervisor. He is one of those macho guys who drinks protein shakes and works out for 2 hours every day. He props his feet up on his desk when he's on the phone, he wears tight t-shirts to work to show off his muscles and he drives a BMW. This attitude, combined with his persona, is why we call him The Gorilla.<br /><br />I could write a post just about the super mean things he has done to one girl in his department, including threatening her, making sexist comments/implications, and telling her to follow rules that he breaks on a regular basis! And she's supposed to shut up and do what he says!<br /><br />Well, I can tell you that this is NOT how we roll at our library. One of the things I like about my job is that it's super team-oriented and very collaborative. Everyone's input is valued and shared and discussed. He wants to operate like a dictator over his staff. This is so foreign, I cannot even tell you. I know you may be thinking that perhaps we were a little bossy towards him or something, or telling him what to do, but that was not it at all. We have been giving him heads up about things which affect his department, and described successful ways to deal with these situations, and he just ignores us. Everything we have done has been as a gesture of helping him. But he doesn't think anyone can tell him anything. He thinks he knows everything.<br /><br />The worst part about it is, our boss, who could have gotten him all straightened out, quit while I was in Hong Kong. This leaves Big Boss to supervise him, and she is super busy and travels a lot. It's not her fault, but he is just not being supervised well right now. Meanwhile, his ideas are getting worse, he refuses to listen to anyone and has started to get into arguments with people, including me.<br /><br />But I am not the only one. There are no fewer than 5 people that have complained about him to Big Boss. He will "forget" to attend meetings, avoid responsibility for things which fall under his authority, not uphold his end of bargains, do something directly opposite of what Big Boss tells him, show up an hour late, take 2 hour lunch breaks, etc. Every once in a while, he will ask a question, and it's something he should have learned MONTHS ago. Or he'll ask a question, and it's totally lame. Basically, he sucks. He's incompetent. And he's not even nice to people!<br /><br />One day, I was working at my desk when he blurted out to another coworker an idea that was so ridiculously stupid, I turned around and said, "Dude, I hear you. That is a problem, but doing what you're thinking of doing is probably a bad idea, and I can tell you why." So I tried to explain to him why it was such a bad idea, and since he's either stupid or refuses to listen, it became a very frustrating conversation on my end -- he just wasn't getting what I was saying, and I had to keep repeating myself. Apparently, at some point in the conversation, although I do not remember saying it, I called him "stupid" or an "idiot". I do not remember saying this at all, although I will admit to thinking it a lot!!! (I am not excusing my behavior -- I was unprofessional and shouldn't have said whatever I said.)<br /><br />The next thing I know, I have to have a meeting with HR and Big Boss about all of this. I told them that I may have said it, because I was very frustrated at the time, but I do not remember saying the exact phrase he was claiming. In fact, I think what I may have said is that the IDEA was stupid. (Yes, I realize that neither comment is professional or appropriate, but they mean different things!) I was kind of pissed that rather than talking to me about all of this, he went to HR, and was now making a big deal out of nothing. I realized during this meeting that The Gorilla was not playing, and I needed to protect myself. So I sang like a canary and told them all stuff he had done. My Big Boss, who was there, was shocked and had no idea all of this stuff had been going on. She also talked to the girl on his staff I mentioned a minute ago -- she sang like a canary, too. But Big Boss was still thinking it may just be a personality conflict and that he just needed more training. We were worried that she wasn't taking us seriously, and that she was on his side.<br /><br />Then, all hell broke loose on the last day of classes before Thanksgiving. As this is the day that all the students are done with classes and exams, we get a T-O-N of books returned at the desk. We literally have thousands returned in the matter of one day. So we have always used this great organization system to manage it all so we don't end up with giant piles of books on the floor. This system works great, and so ahead of time, my coworker S told him all about it. She said, "Hey, this is the system I came up with, and it works really great. You may want to put it in place before the last day of classes, or you can do your own thing, too, if you want." (By this point in time, she had already been told, like I had, to mind her own business and keep her nose out of his department, so she just wanted to offer it as an option to him. Besides, Big Boss had told her to mentor him until the end of the year, so she was doing as she was instructed.)<br /><br />True to form, he ignored her. Then, he was not even at work on this super busy day (it is the busiest day of the whole year for his department!). So all hell is breaking loose while he is gone, because he told his staff to NOT use the system that worked. They were supposed to use this other system that he created (which was not really anything at all). S happens to walk by the desk and sees his staff (who are also her friends, btw) struggling to keep up with all the books. She asks them what the plan is for dealing w/all of this, and no one says anything. One person asked if they could set up the usual system. S asked everyone, "Do you want to use the regular system?" and everyone nodded. So they did it, and everything began to get organized and the staff wasn't so stressed out. Yay!<br /><br />The next day, when The Gorilla came into work, and saw that the old system was set up, he took it all down, ripping the organization signs down, and demanded answers from his staff as to who had set up the old system. Once he found out, he emailed S a very nasty email, claiming she was undermining his authority and lowering the morale of his staff. This email made S cry, it was so mean spirited. S did not reply to it, because honestly, it didn't deserve a response. It was totally out of line, unprofessional and disrespectful. S just told Big Boss that she wanted to talk to her about it, and forwarded the email to Big Boss.<br /><br />Big Boss told her that The Gorilla had already forwarded a copy to her. Yes, you read that correctly, The Gorilla sent a copy of his nasty email to Big Boss voluntarily. That is how much he thinks he is right! He can't even recognize when he's being a jerk! He thought that email was totally appropriate!<br /><br />This event, combined with stuff that he has done to Big Boss (oh yes, this guy has some serious cojones!!!), has definitely turned the tables on him. S and I had to meet again with HR about our "conflicts" because basically, The Gorilla wanted us to apologize to him. He wanted accountability. Whatever. I apologized for what I said, as I should have. I don't have a problem with that. But even though the HR lady was trying to explain to him how inappropriate his email was, he still didn't get it. During this meeting with HR, I found out that The Gorilla has been talking to HR for WEEKS saying who knows what about all of us. I know that some of the stuff he's said is flat-out not true, because we had to correct the HR lady at the meeting. I think that he's got a lawyer and is being coached on how to sue for hostile work environment or something. His last job was at a law firm, so we are thinking he has a buddy who is coaching him. This guy is super dangerous. That's why even though he has not acknowledged my existence, I am ok with that, because I don't want to give him any more ammo!<br /><br />Anyway, this guy is ridiculous, and I really hope his arguments don't hold up, because I am so tired of dealing with him. We all are. Luckily, Big Boss totally sees our side (now that she has been a victim, too!) now and I am pretty sure she is ready to give him the old heave ho. His arguments really don't carry much weight. I guess we will have to see how it turns out.<br /><br />Whew! Sorry, I tried to make it short. I'm going home to Virginia tomorrow. If I don't get a chance to blog while I'm there, I hope everyone reading this has a VERY Merry Christmas!!!!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-8099675649550261382010-12-04T23:25:00.003-05:002010-12-05T00:04:00.330-05:00Sunny...with a Chance of RainSorry about the woe-is-me post, there, guys. I was getting the last little bits of my down mood out of me. I have been making a bigger effort to get out of the house and meet people and be busier, because that always puts me in a better mood. I have had a great week, actually. I think my prayers have finally been answered. I feel more optimistic and happy than I have in a long time.<br /><br />Well, except for one thing.<br /><br />Just as the proverbial sun has come out, along comes a little black rain cloud: they have started to have layoffs at the school where I work. I am pretty sure I am safe, along with at least most of my immediate coworkers. But it's a little tense right now. Upper administration isn't providing much information, so the rumor mill is going bonkers -- 100 people are getting laid off, one of our campuses is closing, bosses are forced to justify who they can keep... -- it's nuts. The only things I know for sure:<br /><br />* 2 people have been laid off (but I'm pretty sure there are more)<br />* lots of people, from all kinds of departments, have to take2 weeks or a month's furlough<br />*most of the non-essential buildings around campus are closed (as in, no power or water) for the month<br /><br />What makes me nervous is that we are getting no information, and since there's a school policy that prohibits us from talking to the media, there is nowhere for me to get info, other than the rumor mill. I am also concerned about the fact that they never offered to freeze/cut pay as a way to prevent layoffs -- does that mean we are past that as an option? I don't like that they have shut down power/water to most of the buildings on campus. That sounds really extreme and last-resort-y to me. I did some rough number crunching about how much $ this would save to shut down most of the buildings on campus for one month (long story as to how I have numbers to use!) -- it's about $350k. If they need more than that, <span style="font-style: italic;">exactly how bad is it</span>?<br /><br />Is this just round one? Is there more to come? Has the president cut her own salary and bonus? Who knows?! But I have my suspicions that things have been bad for a while and they just haven't told us. Our Hong Kong campus is not taking off like we thought it would. Anytime you start something like a new campus, you have to expect that it will be a little slow to get off the ground -- we were entering a new market, for Pete's sake. But I think they thought it would be gang busters, and they have been struggling since day one. Everyone knows it. I'm pretty sure they are WAY over budget and I get the feeling they didn't do their homework when they hatched this idea. One of the Admissions girls in Hong Kong told me that everyone assumed there would be all these mainland China people who would enroll, but they had just found out that anyone who wants to attend school in Hong Kong must wait a year before they can go -- there's some bureaucratic law/immigration rule that requires students to wait one year before going to Hong Kong. Which set us back in admissions BIG time. Then there were a few signs last spring that something was rotten in Denmark. But no one thought anything of it. Now it's adding up, at least in my head. I work at an expensive, private school. I guess the economy finally caught up to us. Why go to our school for $27k per year, when you can go to a state school for less?<br /><br />For several reasons, the library should be mostly, if not entirely, unscathed in this. Which means we will all have survivor's guilt. Can you imagine losing your job 3 weeks before Christmas? I know one of the people who was laid off -- she's a mom with a son in college. That sucks. Just in case, I am definitely going to be trimming back on things. Luckily, I have a lot of vacation time saved up, so if there's a 2 week furlough, it shouldn't affect me. Guess it pays to never take days off! I have also saved some money -- enough to pay my bills for a month if I have to deal with a worst-case scenario.<br /><br />I called my mom today to tell her about all this. She says that worst-case scenario, I break my lease, pack all my stuff, and move in with her. There are actually a couple of jobs open in my hometown right now in libraries there. Then she told me there is no point in worrying about it, because I can't do anything about decisions made above my head. Which is true.<br /><br />The thing is with layoffs and financial troubles, it works like an onion -- you peel off layers until you have the core you need just to stay operating on a skeleton crew. And right now, I don't know what layers are being peeled off and I certainly don't know which layer I am in. I am pretty sure I am in a better state than the guy who shares my office. Boy, is he a piece of work! I need to post about him -- you guys would NOT believe how awful he is. I'm glad my big boss likes me. Hard work always pays off. Right?Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-78493856214356704682010-11-28T20:33:00.005-05:002010-11-28T21:34:48.337-05:00Getting You--and Me--Up to DateI know I am supposed to be writing more about Hong Kong. And I will. But today, I really need to blog about more current stuff.<br /><br />Gosh, I went to Hong Kong 3 months ago. It's a good thing I took photos, because one day, my kids will hate me for never recording anything about my travels. I am so bad about that kind of stuff. If you are friends w/me on the Book of Face (aka Facebook), you can see all my Hong Kong photos there. Otherwise, just sit on your hands and try to be patient. When the mood strikes, I will talk about it.<br /><br />We all know I have been a very absent blogger over the last year or so. Part of that was because of my hectic job and my exhaustion at the end of the day. Looking back on it now, it was also because I have been in a very bad place ever since I broke things off with Ex-F. Although I had come to terms with my decision, and have no regrets, I found myself unable and unwilling to bounce back from it. It affected me much more deeply than I first realized, and I didn't have much of a support network to help me work through it. The Ex-F was my support network, and let's face it-- that just wouldn't be healthy. The Czarina only felt relief and doesn't see much point in talking about things from the past. MJ is too far away and even she admits she never answers her phone. My friends here are nice enough, but not so close that I can have heart-to-hearts with them.<br /><br />I am rapidly burning out at my job. I do not like living in Savannah. I have put on a little more weight (not a lot, but enough that I can't wear the pants I wore last year) and I have become a total hermit. Aside from one or two things I have going on, I spend the vast majority of my free time watching tv on my couch, alone with my dog, eating junk food. (Part of this is also due to my recent obsession with current events, so I am learning a lot -- it's not a total waste! But that is for another post.) To make a long story short, I have not been myself lately. I have been a sad shell of my formerly vibrant self. My recent lifestyle is nothing I would wish on anyone and is certainly no way for a young woman to live. I am supposed to be happy and have all these friends and be running around doing stuff. Over the last year, I have been more lonely, more hopeless and more sad than I have ever been in my whole life. But no one (except my mom and MJ) knows. But even they don't know how bad it is. I have been pretty low. Like, scary low.<br /><br />That's why I haven't blogged about any of it. It would just be a giant pity party. No one wants to read<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debbie_Downer"> Debbie Downer's blog</a>.<br /><br />I suppose a shrink would say that I am intentionally shielding myself from any chance that I will ever date again, as a way to punish myself for having broken someone's heart. Or that I am so afraid of failing and ending up alone that I would just rather not even try. At least then, if I die alone, it won't be because I effed up, but because the universe didn't come through for me. (What, you didn't know the universe is supposed to be finding me a new boyfriend? Yeah, do you see how wacked out I am on self-pity??) A physician would probably tell me to exercise and eat right, so that I would feel better, gain more self-confidence and improve my mood. The Czarina just tells me all my problems are because of my weight and if I would just lose weight all my problems would magically disappear. They are probably right. Well, I think The Czarina's logic is a little off, but she means well. She's not the most sympathetic person in the world, let's face it.<br /><br />It's not like I've never been through a bad breakup before. Or been lonely. Or overweight. Or suffered from bouts of insecurity. But I've always bounced right back before. For some reason, this time it was different. I have no motivation to change, even though I am not happy where I am now. This bummed-out period has been longer. Much longer.<br /><br /> I don't think I am clinically depressed, but I have been hovering around it and wallowing in self-pity for over a year now. Maybe I am undiagnosed. "I have a great apartment and a great job, and that's enough," I have been lying to myself. I feel like I've been on the Negativity-go-Round for a year, and I'd like to get off. It's starting to make me wanna barf.<br /><br />See how fun this is? Wheeee! I know you are so glad you stopped by.<br /><br />But the good news is, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that all my praying is starting to pay off. I think I am slowly coming out of it. I have been taking long walks with Sammy, and they help to put me in a slightly better mood. I am going to try and do more fun things not involving my couch. I just found a new church to go to, so that is also a good thing. After tiring of my coworkers nagging me, I put up a profile on OK Cupid (an online dating site) -- and let me tell you, I am so NOT into it. I haven't even replied to any of the emails. I am going to attend/try/go to anything that sounds interesting or fun. Even if it costs money (one of my favorite excuses to sit on my couch!). I am going to try and meet more people. I am looking forward to having news to share with someone when they call me and want to know what's new.<br /><br />I am not going out this way. This has gone on long enough.<br /><br />Ok, stay tuned for more optimistic (and funnier!) posts. Maybe more frequent, too. No more Debbie Downer. She's had enough space in my brain.Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-83485838956289153632010-10-17T18:45:00.004-04:002010-10-17T19:21:30.854-04:00Hong Kong Report #1Hi Readers! Sorry I am the worst blogger ever. This time of year is insanely busy for me (I've been working about 50 hour weeks since mid-September) and I just haven't been in a blogging mood. Don't take that personally. Anyway, I have all kinds of great Hong Kong trip photos and stories for you. To save time, I'm going to paste the emails I sent my coworkers while I was over there. But first, let's talk about the flight over there.<br /><br />1. I flew from Savannah to Detroit, and barely made my international flight to Hong Kong! Running from the domestic flight area to the international flight area in the Detroit airport is not my idea of a good time. Especially when I suffer from what my mom calls "chronic train fever". I am always convinced I will miss my flight. Which, despite the logical and intellectual voices in my head, I believe is quite possibly the end of the world. (I have posted in the past about <a href="http://virginiabelle.blogspot.com/2007/07/leaving-on-jet-plane.html">my total airport paranoia</a>). Hey, I know no one likes a 4 hour layover, but a little more than 10 minutes would have been nice!<br /><br />2. I pulled a classic inexperienced traveler mistake: I let the computer pick my seat. Which meant that my seat, for the 16+ hour flight.....was right next to the bathroom. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Can you say "total exhaustion"? Between the light in the bathroom, the smell of that blue liquid and the constant opening and shutting of the door, I didn't really sleep on the way over there. To make it even more fun, my seat was in front of the galley, so I could not recline my seat. "This is a free trip to Hong Kong. This is a free trip to Hong Kong," I kept repeating to myself, as I looked up the aisle and watched the people in first class recline on their BEDS.<br /><br />My other big regret was ignoring my mother's advice to bring sleeping pills. Also dumb. I could have slept right through every disgusting meal, every swish of the toilet and all the ass-numbing boredom. Thank goodness for the individual TV screens, which give you essentially your own little mini-Netflix selection of tv shows and movies to watch on demand. HELLO this is the coolest thing ever. I watched so many movies. It really helped the time go by.<br /><br />By movie #4, however, I was starting to climb the walls. You can only sit still and watch tv for so long before you need to DO something. I checked our time. Oh, great! Only 8 more hours of flight!<br /><br />Crap!<br /><br />It was the flight. That. Never. Ended. Seriously, y'all, the flight alone is enough to make you never want to go over there. It is interminable!!!! Plus, with all the time zone changes, I left Detroit at 1pm on Saturday, and arrived in Hong Kong at 8pm SUNDAY night. And you know what? It felt like I had been on a plane for 30+ hours.<br /><br />Finally, we deplaned (very quickly, I might add. We were all ready to get the heck off that giant aluminum tube!). I went through customs (kinda scary cuz you know, they are technically Communist -- gulags! EEK!), exchanged some money, and then I went to get a cab. The first cabbie I talked to was perplexed when I showed him the address for my hotel. He didn't speak any English, so I started to get nervous -- what if he took me to Timbuktu? He showed the address to another cabbie, they chatted a bit, and then decided to swap passengers. The other guy apparently knew where my hotel was. WHEW. Upon first glance of Hong Kong, I thought: It's tall, like New York. But hilly and green like the Appalachian mountains. And all the buildings light up like Las Vegas. Cool.<br /><br />I finally went to bed around 10:30pm, thinking I would have no problem sleeping until my alarm went off at 7pm. That is, until my eyes popped open at 4am. WTF??<br /><br />The next morning, I was picked up at my hotel by X, the librarian we hired to run the library at our new Hong Kong campus. She's from the Beijing area, so she is bilingual and understands the culture much better than I. She can also read all the signs, which is very helpful. The problem is, she speaks Mandarin, but everyone in Hong Kong speaks Cantonese -- same written language, but pronunciation and grammar are different. I guess it's like putting someone from Southern Alabama into Long Island and expecting them to just start talking! It doesn't really work that way, apparently.<br /><br />We rode the subway together (my favorite thing EVER) and went to work. I won't bore you with work details, but here's an email I sent my coworkers a couple of days later:<br /><br />"I miss you guys. I am very homesick, although, I have to admit, I think it's more about missing familiar American food than anything else. It's only <span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT82"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT84">Wednesday</span></span>, and I'm already sick of Asian food! All I want is Mexican. :P You know how some Asian restaurants in the US are kind of sketchy? That's how ALL of them are here. It is a big challenge to this picky eater. Everyone here at the [school I work for] building goes out to lunch together every day. The first day we went to an Italian restaurant, if you can believe it. I was laughing at the menu, because they served green curry. It was good food, but they used very little cheese or spices. A lot of the food is on the bland side, actually. Cantonese don't use a lot of spices in their food. <span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT83"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT85">Yesterday</span></span> we went to a Shanghainese restaurant and it was very delicious. I took photos of all the food we got. You will be proud of me -- I ate eel! They love watermelon here, as well as those bubble teas (I haven't found one I like yet, but they are ok so far). There are 7-11s everywhere, full of weird snacks and candies and drinks. I'm having fun trying them.<br /><br />If you have ever been to NYC, that is a good comparison to Hong Kong. Only the whole city is built on the side of a mountain, so there are steep hills and staircases everywhere. I have yet to see a building shorter than 7 stories. There are more skyscrapers here than anywhere else I have ever been. The weather is just like Savannah, and luckily, it hasn't rained really hard yet. Just afternoon drizzles. There are people EVERYWHERE. It's like Grand Central Station, especially at night. Lots of night owls. Which is weird, because all the stores close at 7pm. I guess they are all out eating??<br /><br />Most people speak a little English, and most of the signs have both English and Cantonese here. X is frustrated because I know more Cantonese than she does! But parts of it are very similar to Mandarin, so she is getting by ok. She says hi.<br /><br />I love the subway, and it's very easy to find your way around it. Public transportation is very cheap here -- I had a 45 minute taxi ride from the airport and it was less than $40! I <span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT86"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT89">sat</span></span> next to a supermodel on the subway <span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT87"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT90">this morning</span></span>. She had to be a supermodel -- she was over 6 ft tall and skinny and gorgeous. I wish I could play <a href="http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/">Sartorialist</a> and take photos of the women here -- they are fantastic dressers! Very very stylish. But I haven't taken any photos because I think it <span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT88"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT91">may</span></span> make them uncomfortable. "<br /><br />Ok, y'all, I gotta run. More Hong Kong stories later!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-54048876294151540712010-08-10T21:49:00.010-04:002010-08-10T22:52:55.992-04:00New Place and That's Not ChickenHello, Everyone! Sorry I've been away so long. I have moved (yes, again! Move #17 of my life!) and been busy planning for Hong Kong. Because why not move AND take a 2 week international trip right afterwards? That's not stressful at all.<br /><br />I also had to order and set up my Wi Fire, this super cool gizmo that magnifies wifi signals. Since I moved right next door to one of the buildings associated with the school where I work, I needed something to help me pick up the wifi signal from next door. It was too weak to pick up with my built in wifi thingie on my laptop, so I did some research and found out about this Wi Fire thing. They sell it on Amazon for $50, and voila! Free internet, courtesy of the wifi network next door! Woo hoo!<br /><br />So I have moved out of the townhouse I shared with the Ex-F. It was a big relief -- I had a lot of bad memories there, and the HOA was driving me nuts with their controlling ways. Did I tell you they wouldn't let me have a yard sale? Yeah. WTF. They said it would "inconvenience my neighbors". Whatever. I just sold everything on Craigslist. They can bite me. Since I was moving from a 3 bedroom, 1250 sq ft place into a one bedroom, 800 sq ft place, I had to do a LOT of downsizing! I ended up making almost $300. Sweet.<br /><br />Now, I am back downtown, living in an old building, just like I wanted. It was built a little after the turn of the century, and I really like the details. I'm actually right across the street from work, which is pretty cool. I can take naps on my lunch break! My coworker Lunch Buddy (her nickname, since we eat lunch together every day) and I watch tv at my house while we eat our turkey sandwiches. It's pretty sweet.<br /><br />I have to say, I am pretty stoked about my new place, even though I am not done unpacking or setting it up. I forgot how long it takes to cram all your stuff into a smaller place! Not only do I have a sweet location, but my building was redone very nicely, so the kitchen is great and the apartment is not grungy or weird. It even has a normal floor plan, and gorgeous hardwood floors. And lots of storage -- a rarity in downtown Savannah! And like I said, I now get free internet! I am never moving again, as long as I live in Savannah, anyway. The kitchen even has a garbage disposal and a dishwasher. I have a clawfoot tub in my bathroom which is original to the building, so it's about 80-90 years old. I even have a spot for my washer and dryer, so I have on-site laundry facilities -- another rare thing in downtown Savannah. And would you believe this place is almost $100 cheaper than my old place? So worth it. Several of my coworkers have confessed to apartment envy.<br /><br />I forgot to mention one super cool thing -- according to my landlord, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoeless_Joe_Jackson">Shoeless Joe Jackson</a> used to live in this building after he got out of the Major Leagues. She doesn't know which apartment, though. Cool, huh? Here are some pics.<br /><br />This is the outside of my building. I'm on the bottom left. (Yay, no more stairs!)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndUum3dZSetAYTmPC522EbuQDIlpwtE1QXF_o7N8UbopLU6grXNtZJaPxWoNZnEuk6iFRSZR_Ft_4JoTezfQmjQCWy3MLvcqm6Er9ZsB1trbCMzD901LuMgfftYAznhCIeZPC/s1600/143abercorn.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndUum3dZSetAYTmPC522EbuQDIlpwtE1QXF_o7N8UbopLU6grXNtZJaPxWoNZnEuk6iFRSZR_Ft_4JoTezfQmjQCWy3MLvcqm6Er9ZsB1trbCMzD901LuMgfftYAznhCIeZPC/s400/143abercorn.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503972672529599106" border="0" /></a><br /><br />A shot of my bedroom:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZI9pEOKlfo9zx9pNhVoIh_eMjb1IQhurUqbJO-T1Q3_LGG-zF-yUeUURPVcB88GAguEAy3BYh0XAl8Nzji-4_pbCAqFluDWx2HXBQCcXGfe4H2_MjGQyKoZSWmLE1VyNVTHX0/s1600/abercornbedroom.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZI9pEOKlfo9zx9pNhVoIh_eMjb1IQhurUqbJO-T1Q3_LGG-zF-yUeUURPVcB88GAguEAy3BYh0XAl8Nzji-4_pbCAqFluDWx2HXBQCcXGfe4H2_MjGQyKoZSWmLE1VyNVTHX0/s400/abercornbedroom.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503972943273793666" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The super cool fireplace in my bedroom:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgseAW1YoBJKqrsV40in0WKxVqNbH1jtEfGWdlgeDc-iUPfILEikyGvJgiNqRepH0SFQVt2UiUa5l-Y8Kzgko1m8Mktyb6Ti6zo4QgYWaPy3i6-l9MvDSqRHjg5azhZUlQ3KmbX/s1600/abercornbedroomfireplace.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgseAW1YoBJKqrsV40in0WKxVqNbH1jtEfGWdlgeDc-iUPfILEikyGvJgiNqRepH0SFQVt2UiUa5l-Y8Kzgko1m8Mktyb6Ti6zo4QgYWaPy3i6-l9MvDSqRHjg5azhZUlQ3KmbX/s400/abercornbedroomfireplace.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503973075698027906" border="0" /></a><br /><br />My kitchen (you can't see the fridge on the left or the sinks on the right, so just use your imagination.)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0bD7lJ8pEKR5Mh-EE-XxXG8V9rocr5WtF8hnTle5M-W5arJAXt_ywLyuDMBJZIqgnAqHHPtfAFzsHTS37bIdjnt2VAjEIHGorwAijht5Gt68Knuu7m2iTeTWnlK06kPqsWuJ/s1600/abercornkitchen.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0bD7lJ8pEKR5Mh-EE-XxXG8V9rocr5WtF8hnTle5M-W5arJAXt_ywLyuDMBJZIqgnAqHHPtfAFzsHTS37bIdjnt2VAjEIHGorwAijht5Gt68Knuu7m2iTeTWnlK06kPqsWuJ/s400/abercornkitchen.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503973280860115682" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Another shot of the living room:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio6JOzPR16rP54LTVLJ2SDTDbLWFtqDTyTEngLSKOvyVTrRNmUiUoCETEVri4WBZuzbqMPoIpta9PKVdb0I6g4GPf9IM4QFgX8wFgS-oozaaLaT1N5TZiSYxmekTbKL_ScLeTV/s1600/abercornliving.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio6JOzPR16rP54LTVLJ2SDTDbLWFtqDTyTEngLSKOvyVTrRNmUiUoCETEVri4WBZuzbqMPoIpta9PKVdb0I6g4GPf9IM4QFgX8wFgS-oozaaLaT1N5TZiSYxmekTbKL_ScLeTV/s400/abercornliving.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503973508202164338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I have some other pics, too, but are you really interested in seeing my closets? Didn't think so. The Czarina wants me to send more pics when I am all set up, so I'll share those when I take them.<br /><br />I leave for Hong Kong on Saturday for 2 weeks. I am sooooo not ready and have a to-do list that is making me panic a little. I do have the major things done -- new passport and all my shots (dude, I had to get like, 7 different shots! Whoa!) . But now I just have to do laundry, run a bunch of errands, pack....ugh. I am a little stressed. I have Friday off, which helps, and my flight doesn't leave until noon on Saturday, so that also gives me a little time.<br /><br />I won't get excited until I get on the plane. Then I will be super pumped! Even though this is a work trip, I am excited to experience a different country on someone else's dime. I wish they had put me in business or first class, considering my flight from Detroit to Hong Kong is 16 hours, but whatever. I'll survive. I'm actually more worried about eating while I am there. You see, I can't use chop sticks. I love egg rolls, but they will get old after a while. I am packing plastic forks, just in case.<br /><br />After wondering what Chinese people eat for breakfast, I got a DVD about Cantonese food from Netflix the other day. Excited to learn more about the world of dumplings and stir-fry, I sat on my couch to watch. The narrator started off with something along the lines of how bouts of war and famine in China throughout time forced the people to consume all their food daily because they had to remain on the move and couldn't afford to bring food along (hence the emphasis on fresh ingredients). They also had to cook their food quickly to save time (hence the invention of stir-fry) and they also had no money so they had to eat cheaply (hence all the rice).<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Very nice. Making sense so far</span>, I thought.<br /><br />Next, the narrator explained that the Cantonese people sometimes had to just eat what was available to them, due to the constant upheavals which come along with war and famine. Then the narrator said something about how there's a saying about the Cantonese -- they will eat anything that flies, swims or crawls.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Oh, haha, like they would eat my dog, how stereotypical</span>, I thought.<br /><br />"Actually," the narrator continued, "In the Cantonese language, there is no word for 'inedible.'"<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Um, what?</span><br /><br />Then the narrator said, "Chapter One: Chicken."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Oh no....</span><br /><br />And what followed after was a 20 minute expose of how they love chicken and eat every part (and I mean <span style="font-weight: bold;">every</span> part) of a chicken. WARNING: Do not eat while reading this next part.<br /><br />So they eat the obvious chicken parts. But the thing that is weird is that they seem to always cook the chickens whole (well, minus the feathers, which seems to be the only part of the chicken they don't eat). So there were all these full bodied chickens being boiled in pots. Whatever, they probably buy them from farmers and chop the heads off later, right? Wrong. Sometimes, you are served a whole chicken on your plate. As in, it's looking at you. Other times, they cut the head off, but only because they are making another dish with the head parts. Like deep-fried chicken beaks, for example. Ew. I have heard of people in the South eating chicken feet, but chicken beaks?? Sounds...crunchy. I would also like to add that they make a "specialty" dish out of the chicken part which I will simply refer to as "sphincter". Yes. They deep fry those, too, and you dip them in sauce. Are you gagging yet? Because I was. It totally ruined the ice cream I was eating while watching the DVD.<br /><br />So they get to the end of the chicken section, and I'm like, "WHEW! Glad that's over!" But then the narrator comes back on and says, "Chapter 2: Snake." Ooooohhh noooooooo.......<br /><br />I won't even tell you what they do with snake. All I can say is thank the Lord they are shaped the way they are so I can spot them in any dishes offered to me.<br /><br />I stopped the DVD after the snake chapter. Chapter 3 was "Sheep", I think. No, thanks. I'm already a picky eater, and not the world's biggest Asian food fan, so this DVD was not helping. Perhaps this trip will be a good way to kick off my diet? I probably won't have any access to Ben and Jerry's which will be a start. However, I do know that KFC is on like donkey kong over there, so I can have fried chicken (breasts! Not beaks!) if I get the hankering. One of my coworkers made me promise to try at least one weird thing while I'm over there. I agreed, but only after she said it didn't have to be snake.<br /><br />Well, guys, I don't know if I will have time to blog again before I leave, but I will blog when I get back. I'm not bringing my laptop with me, because my hotel charges $15/day for internet access. Which may be worth it, but the dealbreaker was that I found out that you can't get internet on planes once you're about 100 miles away from the US coastline. Well, not on Delta flights, anyway. If I could hop online as I cross the Pacific, I would probably bring it, but that is too much hassle. Sorry, guys. I'll be bringing a little notebook with me so I can write down all the interesting/funny/weird things I experience while over there. I'll provide a full report when I get back! Until then..........<span style="font-style: italic;">joi gin (goodbye)!</span>Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-72960982229073949422010-07-07T18:29:00.005-04:002010-07-07T19:07:13.787-04:00Hong Kong Before LongHello, Readers! Sorry, I didn't mean to be away that long. Well, I have some Hong Kong updates, among others.<br /><br />I leave for Hong Kong on Aug. 14th and return on the 28th. I think I will be bringing my laptop with me so I can blog on location! Also so I have something to do while I am on my 15+ hour plane ride. Hooray for mah jong! :P<br /><br />I just bought some books about Hong Kong culture, as well as a travel guide and a phrase book. I'm starting to get really excited! This is kind of a trip of a lifetime for me. When else would I ever go there??<br /><br />Learning some Cantonese is kind of slow-going. It's such a different language than English. When I have learned European languages, it's comforting to run across the occasional word which sounds like English: buch in German is "book", in French the word for cat is "chat", etc. But Cantonese is wholly foreign. Even the sounds you make can be weird: "gwoh" and "tsi" are two examples. And the words are all choppy and short: "yan", "ying", "dowh", etc.<br /><br />One of the words I am having a difficult time pronouncing correctly is for "miss", as in, "Excuse me, Miss!" Since I am learning via CDs and have nothing visual in front of me, I can't tell if this word would be spelled "soo-deh" or "soo-jeh". Another challenging word for me is the verb, "to want". I can't tell if it would be spelled "sahng" or "sahn". To make things even more complicated, intonation is very important in Cantonese. Although the verbs "can" and "eat" would essentially be spelled the same in English ("sic"), you would say one in a low tone and the other in a rising tone, kind of like you're singing them. The differences are very subtle, and I am a little concerned that I will be telling people about my abilities when I really want to tell them I am hungry. I can't think of any comparable English example to this intonation thing. In English, we usually have some sort of extra meaning or emotional emphasis at play when we change the intonation ("thing" vs. "thang" like "You go, Miss Thang!") . But in Cantonese, they could mean two completely different concepts. Yowza.<br /><br />Anyway, it's really fun to learn a foreign language, even if most people there are fluent in English. I am actually more worried about my lack of chop stick skills (abysmal at best) than anything else. Perhaps I can just eat egg rolls while I'm there?<br /><br />I just got most of my vaccines: Hepatitis A & B, Thyphoid, Tetanus and MMR (measles, mumps, rubella). If you're counting, that is 5 shots. And I have to go back for two more before I leave. Luckily, shots are never as bad as your imagination makes them out to be. My arms hurt a little, but otherwise it was a quick and mostly painless process. The nurse told me I would probably be tired for a couple of days, due to my immune system getting used to them. I thought, "Pshaw! I'll be fine. Shots schmots!"<br /><br />Dude. She wasn't kidding. I went to bed at 8pm last night, and will probably do it again tonight! I am sooooooooooo tired! I have that same feeling you get when you are recovering from a bad cold.<br /><br />In other news, I am moving soon. Yes, again. I am semi-nomadic, apparently. If you didn't know me, you'd think moving was one of my hobbies. This will be my 4th address in less than 2 years. Argh. I will be at my new place by August 1st. I am ready to leave where I am right now -- it's too big for one person and I have nothing but bad break-up memories here. It will be cathartic to get out of here. I am ready to start over in so many ways.<br /><br />But here's the cool part: I will be across the street from work. And my apartment is in a neat old building. And it's affordable without being gross or run-down. It also has a dishwasher and a garbage disposal (two things difficult to find in downtown Savannah in my price range). I will be in the "safe" part of downtown, too. Hopefully, I will be taking some photos soon to share with you.<br /><br />Yes, that is correct. I bought a CAMERA. So I can take PHOTOS for my BLOG. Those of you who are tired of the lack of visual aids to my stories should be pleased at this news. :)Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18879154.post-86447710355827426252010-06-05T10:04:00.006-04:002010-06-05T11:15:53.834-04:00Neih hou! Guess Where I'm Going!!Neih hou, readers!<br /><br />I have recently found out I am going here soon:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh70yIIcRHEI_1qDZdJ5mQnd3mvrYcpMhTOFsZ-zc-BCzBfPJ4IMA_c2ufyaR0INaQjXuyZEtqk_zYGZc1nWHtShp2MuTHSQM5BlKhlGW19dA1gw2Mgg69KZTjC8yaymqAR9CKt/s1600/skylinedaytime.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 168px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh70yIIcRHEI_1qDZdJ5mQnd3mvrYcpMhTOFsZ-zc-BCzBfPJ4IMA_c2ufyaR0INaQjXuyZEtqk_zYGZc1nWHtShp2MuTHSQM5BlKhlGW19dA1gw2Mgg69KZTjC8yaymqAR9CKt/s400/skylinedaytime.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479290758837035378" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9s646KqU0FYR94KDTLHHEfEB7CIQvB3E-fw9PX7CC4k0uE9F6DzwTp3HQuCqXOUrjS0beRVZsY-loSNVi1YGDKSBER4pR234kgGoAAUv9bZIM2GORM5MkLv8Tbv2EqbVBXESn/s1600/skyline.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9s646KqU0FYR94KDTLHHEfEB7CIQvB3E-fw9PX7CC4k0uE9F6DzwTp3HQuCqXOUrjS0beRVZsY-loSNVi1YGDKSBER4pR234kgGoAAUv9bZIM2GORM5MkLv8Tbv2EqbVBXESn/s400/skyline.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479290634887561538" border="0" /></a><br />Here is the apartment complex where I will probably be staying. Notice it is beachfront!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52uFPQ2DIbSEAJKsvuwLBiq1i7TRwWD6h358pFgoTTm1qGC2fmW4CW7EUW0d6WOzZhijYjCxSUGfGoTgVIRXQnL-c6arY53O2FKHJriX81yxUT8bxzLzkRIdRILUxXnwP2ocX/s1600/mytemppad.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 312px; height: 193px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52uFPQ2DIbSEAJKsvuwLBiq1i7TRwWD6h358pFgoTTm1qGC2fmW4CW7EUW0d6WOzZhijYjCxSUGfGoTgVIRXQnL-c6arY53O2FKHJriX81yxUT8bxzLzkRIdRILUxXnwP2ocX/s400/mytemppad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5479307680762716434" border="0" /></a><br />Isn't it beautiful? Can you guess where this is? Here are some hints:<br /><br />I have to get my passport renewed.<br />I have a VERY long plane flight ahead of me.<br />Where I am going, there is no such thing as the 4th floor.<br />This city is roughly the same size as New York City.<br />There are over 200 islands here.<br />It is the world's most vertical city, with more people living and working above the 14th floor than anywhere else.<br />I will need to get an Octopus Card.<br />It is home to the world's longest rail/car suspension bridge.<br />I hope I will get to try wife cakes and mooncakes, which are local delicacies.<br />I will have to remember that giving clocks, scissors and red flowers are all considered bad gifts in their culture.<br />I will have to learn how to use chop sticks -- eek! I suck at chopsticks!!<br />I will also need to develop a taste for tea -- blech!!!<br />If I am offered shark fin soup, it will be rude of me to turn it down, as this delicacy is expensive and given to guests of honor.<br />I need to get ready for my personal space to be invaded -- they stand very close to each other over there. Luckily, they are as uncomfortable with touching as Americans are.<br />Feng shui is very important over there.<br />I should not wear blue or white, as these are considered colors of mourning.<br /><br />Can anyone guess where I am going??? I am super excited, even though it will be a business trip. I might be gone as long as a month! I will be going mid- to late-August. Woo hoo!!!Virginia Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09139549722127680662noreply@blogger.com14