Monday, May 14, 2007

Atlanta, an Alcoholic & Almost Girl

I'm not dead! Just very busy.

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts and prayers for GP. She is doing a lot better now and should be going home at the end of the week. I appreciate your concern and sympathies. I think I'm going to make some cookies for them and mail them up there.

I was in Atlanta most of last week. I had to go to a conference. My hotel was right near here and here. So I took some time to do some window shopping in these ultra-swanky malls.

I bought a super cute purse (sorry, can't find a pic), but otherwise, it was easy to avoid temptation in a mall where prices start at $200. If I had the money, I would have bought something at this store because everything in there was SO me. But prices there started at about $350. Ouch. So purchasing stuff there will have to wait until I marry Julian McMahon.

Y'all, have you tried these new fancy beds they have in hotels now? Holy cow, they have a good thing going on with these beds. You sit on them and you're like, "Oh, wow, gosh, this is really comfzzzzzzzzzzzz............." and four hours later, you wake up. I highly recommend these beds. I am so getting one when Julian and I get married. Complete with their zillion-thread-count sheets. Then he and I can hump like rabbits in total Egyptian cotton bliss.

So....you are going to love this post. Because I have so much to share. (Shocker!!)

Let's start with Wednesday's blind date. Blonde set me up with a guy who is about 32, 33--somewhere in that range. She described him as a "cute partier", which, to my naive brain meant "fun and smoochable".

Because I had a lot of extra time to get ready, I decided to go all-out: black pencil skirt, fitted white stretchy top, metallic stilettos and smoky eye makeup. I even had time to put hot rollers in my hair, and DAMN I had a good hair day. Seriously. Top 5 hair days of all time.

Feeling very confident, I went to the bar where I was meeting up with Blonde, her boyfriend and my date. When they arrived, I have to say, I was a little disappointed. I had forgotten that Blonde's definition of "cute partier" was vastly different than mine. Apparently the "cute" part meant "not cute" and the "partier" part meant "alcoholic".

Between meeting up with me at the bar and then literally getting up to walk to our table, my date had polished off a vodka & water. I'm talking less than 5 minutes, here, peeps. He had another one immediately afterwards. So he had downed two of these in about 15 minutes. Now, it's been a long time since I've drunk alcohol, but it seems to me that vodka & water would be a rough combination, especially on an empty stomach--it was 9pm and he hadn't had any dinner. When the waitress came over to ask him if he wanted a 3rd vodka & water, I realized what was happening, and my jaw literally dropped. I thought he was still on his first drink!

I think he saw my reaction, because he switched to beer. Now, I know people get nervous on dates, especially blind dates. But this guy had alcoholic written all over him. He gave me a very hard time about the fact that I don't drink (always a sign, trust me). Every story he told involved drinking. He talks veeeeeeeerrrrrry slowly, to the point that he sounds stupid. I knew a guy like that once, in college. He was probably the biggest partier I'd ever met. So I know that his speech pattern was probably a result of years of heavy drinking and probably a lot of pot smoking, too.

You would think that his personality would improve with the alcohol consumption, but it didn't. He was boring and not funny. He just became quieter and quieter as he drank. Seriously, I could have had a V-8. It was bad. And seeing as how I dated a guy last year with questionable reactions to alcohol consumption, I'm not about to start dating another one. I am really over dating frat boys who never grew up. I am tired of the big partiers. I want a stable, mature man.

When he asked if he could take me to dinner sometime, I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from retorting, "Why? Because this is going so well?" But instead, I just replied flatly, "No. I'm sorry." He appreciated my honesty and then I excused myself and went home, all the while, wondering what in the hell Blonde was thinking by setting me up with him, and frustrated for wasting a good hair day.

As I pulled into my driveway, I realized with excitement that Hot Neighbor was pulling into his driveway at the same time. This was my big chance for him to see me looking nice for once. I got out and started walking to my door. He ran over to me. "Hey, girl. What's going on? You look great!"

Suh-weet. "This could not be better timing," I thought.

I told him about my lame date, and he sympathized. "How old was is?" he asked. "Oh, about 32 or 33. Somewhere in there," I answered.

"Gah, he's making us look bad!" he replied. And I thought, "Mmmm....no, not really....."

Looking back, I should have told him to set me up with a better 33-year-old....dang. Hate it when you think of good stuff to say only after it's too late!

Then he asked me about my super-secret project, and I told him I was basically aborting mission and thinking of an alternate route to my goal. (Sorry, I can't be more specific...) He told me he could help me by putting me in touch with the right people for an alternate plan I have considered in the past. He's going to drop off a list of names and numbers for me, hopefully soon.( Of course, he's obviously trying to figure out how he can see me again. Duh.)

We chatted some about our jobs and my dogs before parting ways.

By the time I went inside, he had told me I looked really great THREE times. He totally checked me out. Woot!!!!

Oh, and I asked him last Tuesday if he would take my trash can down to the curb on Friday, since I would be in Atlanta when the trash men came. He remembered. That scored some points with me, definitely. Gotta love a reliable guy. They are few and far between. Lord knows what I've had to deal with in the past...

Looking back, I should have asked him to get my mail for me, too, because then I would have an excuse to go knocking on his door....shoot. I'm not very good of thinking of the best thing to say at the time. It's because he makes me all nervous and jittery.

Did I mention that he knocked on my door the other day and I answered, wearing only a towel? Gosh. Hate when that happens. I had just gotten out of the shower and dried my hair. No makeup on yet, but I figured the "just a towel" factor sort of counter-acted that. He was asking me about K and if she had moved out. I told him she had. He said he would let me know if he knew anyone who would be interested in moving in with me. I realized only after it was too late that the whole time he was talking, I was, without realizing it, smiling and biting my lower lip. Yeesh. I am ridiculous.

Of course, in my head, the story kinda ends more like this: I "accidentally" drop my towel and he ends up pushing me against the wall and making me very, very late for dinner. Tee hee.

*pauses to imagine situation*

Ok, now that that's overwith....

Rob Thomas never called. Yeah. I feel pretty let down. It is kind of surprising to me, because I would have bet big bucks I had that in the bag. I totally got the whole, "Oh, we are so going to start dating now," thought in my brain. I have never been wrong with that gut feeling before. But there's a first time for everything. On Friday night I talked to his roommate, B, about it at Happy Hour.

"I think he's still hung up on his ex. They broke up last July and he was pretty devastated. She still calls him and leads him on," he explained.

"Are you kidding me???" I said in disbelief.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, VB. That's the only reason I can think of. But I think he's making a huge mistake, and I do think you two would be really good together. I could tell y'all had a good time, and he even said he had a good time. I just think that maybe he's not over his ex. He and I didn't talk about why he never called you, but that's what I think is going on," he said.

"I hate his ex-girlfriend, VB. Seriously, all his friends hate her. He's being an idiot," E chimed in. (Remember, my friend E is dating B, and they have been trying to get me hooked up with Rob Thomas for weeks.)

Soon after, as I was leaving with E, I proceeded to have a total meltdown. Feeling totally frustrated and rejected, I started crying in public. Right at the front door of the bar. Awesome. Love it when I do this. "That's it, E! I'm not dating anymore! I am so OVER this! I am done. Do you see? Do you see why I don't date? I can never catch a break. I'm always the runner-up girl. The 'almost' girl. Hot Neighbor almost asked me out once. Cute guys almost talk to me. The Magician almost called me. [Ok, I don't know if he ever considered calling me, but to my rejection-fueled brain, this made sense at the time.] Rob Thomas and I almost started dating. I am sick of it!" I bawled.

Of course, as luck would have it, B walked up right in the middle of this meltdown. I know he won't say anything to Rob, but still. I didn't want him to think I was so upset about all of this. And I wasn't -- I had been driving in Atlanta/Columbia traffic all day and had been running around like a chicken since I had gotten up that morning. I was exhausted. When I'm exhausted, I cry. To be honest, I had no business even going out on Friday. Stubbing my toe, contemplating world peace or talking about Paris Hilton's jail time would have made me cry, too. My tears were just looking for an excuse to make an appearance. B&E sat with me and calmed me down. They said a lot of things that made me feel better. (My favorite? "He's making a huge mistake."-- I love hearing that.) I took some deep breaths and got in my car and drove home.

It's nice that they are pulling for me. They were worried that I would not feel comfortable hanging out at B's house, since Rob would be there. I told them it's ok and that I would be fine. They want to have a cookout soon, and they really want me to go. I will go, but I just have to make sure I look smokin' hot and bring something totally delicious (toffee cheesecake??). I don't think it will be too awkward. I will be nice to him. But distant.

After all this, I think I may officially give up entirely on dating. When you look back on your dating history and realize that every ex-boyfriend is worse than the last, that's not good. When you are getting set up with alcoholics, I think that is a sign you might want to just throw in the towel. And sure, Hot Neighbor checked me out. But that's a long way from asking me out. (Remember, I am "almost girl"). I'm sure Wednesday Skank is still on the scene (although, I haven't seen her in a while...). And yes, it is nice that Rob and I hit it off, but it's obviously never going to happen. I am tired of dating guys who seem nice at first, only to throw me onto an emotional rollercoaster and hurt me. It's soooo much easier to just be alone. I hate being Almost Girl. I'm tired of it. It's better to be Alone Girl.

24 comments:

Phantom Hater said...

Instead of thinking of yourself as "Almost Girl", think of yourself as "Not Settling Girl", "Girl with a Streak of Bad Luck That's Bound to End Soon", or something similar.

It's a little weird that your friend would set up someone who doesn't drink with an alcoholic. I'm definitely not a teetotaler, but I think most normal people eventually start to seque out of the binge-drinking phase after college. I can't believe anyone would drink vodka and water on a first date. At least wait until the third date! :)

And even if HN doesn't ignite with hot, flaming passion every time you guys see each other, he still sounds like a decent guy. You could have worse neighbors. :)

Fluffycat said...

You're just having a string of bad luck. As a friend of mine said, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Or every wrong guy brings you closer to the right one. I think with the guy who is hung up on his ex, you are better off without him because of his issues. You want someone who is emotionally stable and 100% into you. Like Julian McMahon is going to be. :D

Virginia Belle said...

you guys bring up very good points. you're right.

being single is still better than staying with a guy you know cheats on you, right?

RWA said...

That's much better - "Not Settling Girl."

I mean, come on. You could have decided to go out with the alcoholic again - just for the sake of having a date. But you didn't. You knew you would be miserable.

And, I agree. Single is much better than being with a cheater.

lenfercestlesautres said...

Why should you be with a guy when you know he cheats on you?

And I agree, a neighbor who remembers to bring out your trash is at least a nice neighbor. Oh, and that towel and lip-biting thing? Smoking hot!

Phantom Hater said...

Yeah, why can't I have an HN who answers the door dripping wet in a towel?

LowTide said...

You know exactly what you are looking for in a guy. It shows a maturity beyond your years that you are not settling for a warm body. You know what traits and characteristics compliment your personality and are willing to wait to find the right guy. You should be proud of yourself.

I love to stay at the Westin because of their really comfortable beds. Those feather/pillow top beds are awesome. It is so easy to spend too much money shopping in Atlanta. I like going to Phipps and Lenox. They have all the cool stores.

The Frog Princess said...

I know that this will sound incredibly trite, but I swear to Pete that it really happened.

I gave up on dating. I finally decided that the asshole I had been seeing had blown me off for the last time and I was disgusted with myself for putting up with it. Less than a week later I met the Frog. Go figure.

Don't worry, VB. The right guy will come along when you least expect it.

Coco said...

What IS it about friends? There is a certain point where some of them think it's okay to fix you up with anyone. That happened to me once . . . and after an awful night of him fighting with the cashier at the bowling alley about a ONE DOLLAR price difference . ..and then freaking out when we started talking about his job (turns out he had gotten fired that week) . . .I asked my friend what made her think we would be a good match and she said "You were both single."

Seriously? Seriously??
Yes, you're definitely better off without losers like that around! :)

Matilda Jane said...

A-hem:
~you'll find him one day
~there are plenty of fish in the sea
~you are a great girl, he'll come around

Ah F*CK it, let's just make a chocolate cake and eat it all....

lenfercestlesautres said...

Ah F*CK it, let's just make a chocolate cake and eat it all....

I found that to be a valid solution to a lot of problems!

cmk said...

Ah, sweetie. I could go into 'Mom-mode' and give you all the cliches in the book, but you know them already. You also know that things WILL work out for you. You just need a boost to your faith every once in awhile--like we all do. I'm pulling for ya--it'll happen when the time is right.

Mieke said...

Ah VB!! I totally agree , you should be the "not settling girl". You know what you want, it's just a matter of finding it. I think that your friend was a little crazy on that one. I am sure she meant well, though. Vodka and water?? gross.
As for HN, I still think he is maybe a little afraid to ask you out. Maybe your just so hot that he is intimidated. What with the towel thing and all. He is obviously interested, but maybe is being cautious, especially since you are his neighbor and all. :) It will happen, don't you worry.

Barb said...

I'm starting to think that you've been dating HN this whole time and are just torturing me!!! If he took your garbage out for you, I think you clearly owe him a home cooked meal. Now invite him over!

Scott said...

I always tell myself that I am not settling, and I think thats a good thing. I would much rather wait for that someone that I can honestly *trust* (among other things) than have to deal with someone else in the meantime.

There are good ones out there..

want_to_be_112 said...

darn, I had almost a whole comment post and my computer froze on me!

You are way to young to give up on dating! Sure, there are idiots out there who aren't worth the time in getting dressed up. But, eventually you'll find someone who'll appreciate your brilliance and overactive imagination. lol

Take it from me, a woman in her 40's that hasn't dated in 7 years. The longer you wait to date again, the harder it is to WANT to date again. I don't know if that made sense. lol

Meghan (The Declaration of MY Independence) said...

It could always be worse..like, he could have just been driking plain vodka, or had a second head or something.

Lisa said...

Being single is WAY better than being with a guy who cheats on you, or being with some of these other guys who drink too much or can't get over their exes.

Sending you a hug.

Behind The Curve said...

Aww VB, keep your chin up. I'm with ya on the "almost girl" front. But yes, "not settling girl" is much better. I vote for that! :o)

The Dummy said...

Aww, VB - don't say that! I think you should just attack your hot neighbor and see what he thinks. I bet he'd like that. And I bet you'd like that too. :) Sometimes guys just need a little encouragement to help them along the way.

tallglassofvino said...

hang in there, girl. It's hard to shake a bad streak, but that IS all it is. karma does exist, and you're so due for a good return!

Becky said...

ahhh julian mcmahon. niptuck can't come back soon enough

Virginia Belle said...

rwa-- i hadn't really thought about that. thanks. you make me feel better. although, maybe i should have gone on one date w/him, if only to make HN jealous!

len-- yeah, i know! wasn't that nice of him? and even if things never happen, at least i can continue to tempt him with lip biting and towel-wearing. tee hee!

phantom hater -- maybe you don't live close to me? i answer my door in a towel all the time! start ringing some doorbells.

lowtide -- aw, shucks. thanks, man. you're right. not settling is good. and yes, if i had any money, i would have bought the watermelon-colored satin strapless dress i saw!!! but, unfortunately, i don't have $350 laying around. much less an occasion for wearing it.

frog princess -- *sigh* i know. you're probably right. i just worry sometimes that i'm totally wasting my time even fooling with dating. after a while, it just gets depressing. i don't like feeling that way, hence my anti-dating stance.

coco -- yes, exactly!!! i know!!! i can definitely relate, trust me. like, do they even think it through before setting you up?? seriously, my friend was SO OFF with this one. i am wondering if she knows me at all. oh, and a friggin' DOLLAR? ugh. that is so absurd. i would have given the cashier the dollar myself just so i could get the hell outta there. good grief.

MJ-- dude, stop blowing smoke up my ass and let's go eat that cake.

cmk-- thank you for sparing me the cliches!!! i appreciate it! and yeah, i know. it will happen. maybe not before my ovaries shrivel up and die, but it will happen.

mieke-- yeah, she had good intentions, i'm sure. as far as HN is concerned, what was that about him being intimidated by my hotness? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! yeah, right. i think it's because i'm his neighbor. or because i'm not the last girl on earth. you flatter me, mieke. you really do. but thank you. :)

barb-- easy there, tiger. i don't know if trash-taking warrants a home-cooked meal. maybe some cookies are in order, though...trust me, if i was dating HN, i would not be meeting up with alcoholics for blind dates. i would be at home, scheming on how to make HN fall madly in love with me. um, hello! i have a big fat mouth. LIKE i could keep something THAT HUGE a secret.

scott-- yeah. i know. i just forget sometimes. we refuse to settle! go us!!

want to be 112-- you just now hit that stage in your 40s? WOW you are not nearly as cynical and bitter as i am. you are a tough girl!! i'm very impressed. i can't take this crap too much longer. i would like to find someone who can deal w/my overactive imagination. :)

meghan -- yeah. true. straight vodka would have been worse. bald would have been worse. a temper tantrum would have been worse....ok, yeah. it could have been a lot worse.

lisa-- you're right, you're right. good call. thanks for the hugs. :)

behind the curve -- yeah, girl. i think we are in the same boat. i'll hold your chin up if you hold mine up. deal?

dummy-- attack him, huh? wow. thanks for helping me add to my collection of hot neighbor fantasies. :) yeah, as soon as i stop seeing Wednesday Skank coming over, i will definitely make my presence KNOWN. i need to start putting myself out there a little more.

tgov-- yes, a bad streak. that's what it is. i hope....

becky -- uuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhh...julian.....
*drools on keyboard*

Sam said...

If I ever grow a penis, I'm totally going out with you. I'll be sober and witty and intelligent and I'll do very bad things to you. So there.