Saturday, April 24, 2010

Back in the Saddle

I knew something was up when I began getting more emails from than I did from real, actual people.

Then I started to think about the number of people I have met here in Savannah...outside of work.

Gradually, my activity on Facebook has dwindled to....well, nothing, really.

But I knew I had to do something when I found out The Czarina has more of a dating life than I do.

Yes, my own mother has something closer to a boyfriend than I do. Considering she is 63, this concerns me, and quite frankly, just seems wrong.

Time for action.

I will no longer turn down social invitations because I am tired or because I don't like staying up late. I will sleep when I'm dead. I will flirt with guys whenever possible, instead of just assuming they are not interested in me. I will get out of the house more, and exercise more. (I am thinking about getting a pair of those Reebok butt-toning shoes. Have you seen the ads? They are very convincing. I want my butt to look like the ones on the commercials.)

To see what I'm up against, let's see what I have already accomplished, and what sort of challenges I should expect.

Upside: The Ex-Fiance is moving out next weekend!! Yay!
Downside: I will not have much money left for social activities. I will have to get creative. Because I will be broke-edy broke broke. Until I get a tenant for my house in SC. Which at this rate will be in like, November.

Upside: I have been going out more lately.
Downside: It's been with a girl I will call Frenemy. We are in different departments, but the same building. She is a textbook frenemy: super fun girl, but you can only trust her as far as you can see her. Makes me a little nervous.

Upside: I have recently joined a Bible Study group. Never thought I would do that. Ever. I always thought those things were full of Bible-thumping weirdos. But it's really great. It's like free therapy. Very supportive, and I really like all the girls. I have always believed I am a Christian (er, well, attempted to be one, anyway), and now I am learning more about my faith, which is really great.
Downside: They are almost 100% married and pregnant/just had babies. Which means I know WAY more about diaper genies than is normal for someone in my stage of life. Hello? Where are the single women in this town? Besides my coworkers?

Upside: There are always lots of cool art-related events in this town. It pays to work for an art school! I am going to a photography show tonight.
Downside: Usually, the kind of guys at art-related events are at best -- not my type, and at worst -- gay. With all the married ones falling in-between. Ugh. Do I have to drive to a bigger city and be watching football to meet cute, straight, single guys? Sometimes I feel like this town is one big Greenwich Village. Full of Village People.

No offense to gay guys, but usually they don't like it when I try and make out with them.

Upside: I love my coworkers. They rock. Super fun, most of them are single, too.
Downside: Although I love hanging out w/them, sometimes it's nice not to talk about work, and I would like to get a wider group of friends here. Also, one of my coworkers (a girl I hired -- of course!) drives me INSANE. So sometimes I turn down invitations to hang out with them, just so I can avoid spending less than 40 hours with this girl. I can hardly stand to be in the same room as her. I so need to devote a whole post to her. It is long overdue.

Upside: I have also recently joined a political group. As I get older, I follow politics much more closely, and am excited to meet up with like-minded people. The next meeting is in early May. By my experience, guys do tend to like politics. This isn't the main reason I am going. I'm just mentioning this because this activity has a higher likelihood of me meeting those cute, single straight guys. That's just gravy.
Downside: Um...I don't think there is one to this. Cool.

Upside: Despite my weight gain (and lack of motivation to take it off), I must still "have it", because I recently found out through the grapevine that a friend of mine wants to hook up with me. It is always good to know I am not hideous or too old.
Downside: It is not someone I have feelings for in that way. He's a great guy, but I just don't see him like that. Also, I found out about all of this because the Ex-F told me about it -- apparently this guy asked Ex-F's permission to hook up with me. Not date me-- hook up with me. Kind of tacky. Kind of a dick move -- he and Ex-F are kinda friends. Who does that?? (I will blame his actions on the fact that he's going through a rough divorce right now.)

So now I need your help. Give me some ideas, people. How can I meet other single peeps? Preferably of the straight, single and beefy male variety? Cuz they are not hanging out at the vegan coffee shop, let me tell you. No wonder I am single. All the stuff I like to do (baking, coffee shop hanging, Target-shopping, antiquing) is stuff that a straight guy wouldn't be caught dead doing. Argh. How do people meet???

I took a walk in Forsyth Park yesterday. It's gorgeous there, and there's this big fountain where people like to get married. There was a wedding, and the happy couple was taking their post-nuptial photos as I walked by. They looked so happy and beautiful. I suppressed a twinge of envy as I noticed the groom was a lot older close up. And he had a bald spot.

Happy bride about my age = older guy w/bald spot.

Hmmm. Food for thought.

I have also considered getting on eHarmony, if only for the hilarity that is online dating. (Remember those posts, long-time readers?) I should do it, if only to make it up to all of you for my lack of posting. Ain't no post like an online dating post. Jeez, those were doozies.

I used to snicker at my college girlfriends who would talk about how they hoped to meet their future husbands while still in college. I thought they were nuts. Old-fashioned. Afraid of being independent. Why settle down when there are so many cute frat boys to make out with???

Now I'm 31 and stuck in a town full of gay dudes. I think I effed up.


Christina said...

have you tried you can search for your city and find hobbies, organizations and other groups that interest you. a great way to meet new people.

teahouse said...

You didn't eff up! There is no such thing as effing up in life and love. You have to trust that the universe brought you hear as a step on your journey to meet Mr. Right.

I'm sending you good vibes. You're doing the right thing, by making yourself get out there and meet people. One of my friends met her husband through a women's group - sure, it was all women, but they all had brothers and brothers-in-law and male friends, and boom! The more people you know, statistically the more likely you'll meet him. He's looking for you, too!

Good vibes, good vibes. You are lovely and amazing and the universe will conspire to bring you and Mr. VB together!!

columbiacitygirl said...

I agree with TB, you didn't eff up. it is much worse to be with the wrong person than to be alone. (and you KNOW that...) It is more difficult to meet people when you are older, but I met J. when I was 40, had been divorced for 9 years AND had just broken up with a long term boyfriend in the worst way. I promise that the universe will bring you something - and someone - wonderful. You are brave and strong and deserve it!

Jonathan Zero said...

Even with you being broke-dy broke broke, I think things will be better once Ex-F has moved out.

I did eharmony for awhile. It was just was not for me. I have a close friend that is involved with a few groups and she really enjoys them.

Like the others said, you did not "eff" up. We all have different paths and one is not better than the other. I tell myself that all the time when I look back on my lifeplans and how it has all turned out to this point.

Oh and when I had an ex-girlfriend try to fix me up with one of her friends I said no thanks. Just all around wrong in my book.

Enjoy your life and things will fall into place.

Fluffycat said...

It sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things there. Dating is hard! Meeting people to date is hard. I don't know if there is something other than eHarmony for singles in your area, but there are bound to be singles' groups somewhere. Also, your married friends might have husbands who have some single friends who are wanting to get married. It doesn't hurt to float that idea out there.

don said...

I haven't been here for a while and have really missed reading your blog.

Perhaps going out more with Frenemy will get you some exposure to new guys.?

Lady Wanderlust said...

I don't if it's just me, but when I went out with the goal of meeting cute guys nothing ever happened. I'd go to bars or clubs, dying to meet someone, and NOTHING. However, when I didn't really care about finding someone I'd repeatedly get hit on. I don't know, maybe it's a vibe or something. I guess what I'm trying to say is go out, have fun, but not obsess over meeting someone (easier said than done I know).

Scotty said...

Biggest piece of advice, never turn down an invitation. Your friends have friends. Hopefully not all gay ones (for your sake).

Just get out of your house. No one meets anyone sitting on their couch :)

I also think that Ex-F being away means more posts. Win for us!

Phantom Hater said...

So he finally moved out? Wow, I can't believe you survived that long of a period of awkwardness.

"All the stuff I like to do (baking, coffee shop hanging, Target-shopping, antiquing) is stuff that a straight guy wouldn't be caught dead doing."

You're damn right about that. Those are, in fact, the complete opposite of straight guy acivities (frying, bar hanging, Walmart-shopping, and new techno-gadgets.)

Debbie said...
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Debbie said...
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wfboland77 said...

Oh wow I just saw this. Pretty embarrassing. Sorry about that. I was having a hard time back then. I would have asked you myself but I was having trouble getting in touch with you. Anyway that was pretty stupid. Sorry about that.