Carry Me Back to Old Virginia?

Y'all, my job hunt is on the move. I am on Mission: Richmond or Bust. After a lot of thinking and praying and research, I have decided that there isn't really anything my current job can do to keep me here in Savannah and that I am only interested in moving to Richmond, VA. I hate living in this town. I have met some great people, I love my apartment and I do like my job (most of the time), but my personal life here stinks. It's a vicious cycle of this town not having what I want, which puts me in a bad/depressed attitude, which makes me not want to work harder at making the best of this place.

I have recently had discussions with a couple of my best girlfriends here in Savannah and all 3 of us dislike living here. We all agree that there is a curse or some kind of oppressive atmosphere over this town. I thought it was just me, but when I mentioned it to them, they thought they were the only people thinking that, too! We all feel like we have become depressed ever since we have moved here. It's very odd.

This was a long blogging gap! Let's see what you have missed....oh, so my favorite coworker, the one who was running the other half of the library, quit. Her old job wooed her back -- and she would have been insane not to take the job. So I am temporarily running the whole library again, for no extra pay. My temporary boss did just get me a nice raise, though -- 4%. We usually only get 3%, so I appreciate that. We've also had another person quit (I'm telling you, it's like rats fleeing a flood around here), so now we have 4 vacancies to hire for. If I leave, too, that will be 5. And no one will be running the library. I do feel a little guilty about that....with all the craziness and absurdity of my job, I do like it. No job is perfect. But if only this job were somewhere else! There is nothing my current employer can do to make me love Savannah. It's a great place to visit, but not to live.

I counted up the # of people who have quit/been fired from the library since I started here 2 and a half years ago: 16. That is a LOT of turnover, especially when the staff is only about 20 people total. Luckily, many of the ineffective and bad employees are gone (save one, although if all goes well today, he will be getting fired this afternoon, after 6 YEARS of his antics). So if I already don't like living here, and no one else is staying, why should I stay? I have had 4 awesome awesome coworkers over the years here, and all 4 of them have quit. Honestly, I hate working here without them. That more than anything else has affected my morale. And The Czarina reminded me -- I have been trying to find a job in Richmond since I got back from Hong Kong. That was over a year ago. It's time to move on.

In other news, I took down my profile on eHarmony -- I am trying to leave this town, so dating now doesn't really factor into my plan. I may pick it up when/if I get to Richmond, although I don't think I will do eHarmony again -- they don't let you browse! Kind of frustrating. You have to wait for them to send you people.

Do you remember me talking about Miss Perfect who lives upstairs from me? She suddenly stopped talking to me. It happened after I told her I am a Christian. I think that made her uncomfortable. She asked me a bunch of questions about it and I told her that in the past I had claimed to be a Christian but was not really walking the walk. I told her how I am living my life now as opposed to a few years ago (or even a few months ago!) and I think she felt I was judging her or something. Which I'm not! I'm actually kind of envious of her ability to have guys sleep over....and not go to church....*sigh* Anyway, it did hurt my feelings, but at the same time, I didn't really see her becoming my best friend or anything, so I suppose it's for the best. She reminded me a little too much of my old roommate (the one who was bi-polar and would go on spending sprees even though she was broke). I thought we could at least hang out together, but I guess she doesn't agree. Oh well. I am taking it as another sign that it's time for me to move on.

The Ex-Fiance still lives here in Savannah. He still hangs out with all my friends, which is fine. It used to piss me off but I have gotten over it. He and I have just been avoiding each other. But he randomly messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago and apologized for avoiding me and making things weird. I really appreciated that. So we have chatted a little via Facebook/text message, and I think we're cool now. It's all water under the bridge. He was dating a girl for a little while, and that made me happy for him, even though it didn't work out. He's even watching Sammy for me while I'm in Virginia later this week.

It was a long, boring summer for me, mostly because I was broke as a joke. My tenant (remember, I own a house in Columbia, SC) moved out in early May and I had no tenant....all summer....I just now have someone in there, which is awesome because I was dipping into savings to pay for rent AND mortgage all summer. Ouch! I literally bought nothing but groceries all summer long. No shopping, no vacations.

Now for the exciting part of this post! This post's title is a play on the state song of Virginia....which I am using because later this week, I have a job interview. I am pretty excited about it! It's a very well known art museum, and it would be an amazing place to work. I have been visiting that museum since I was a kid.

If I get it, it will be much less responsibility. I would miss being a supervisor, but I also think that I'm really burned out on my current job, and would welcome a slower pace so I can focus on my personal life more. It has really taken a back seat ever since I got here to Savannah. I am a little concerned, career-wise, about potentially going down the ladder, but if my personal life is more fulfilling, I may not care. And you never know -- moving up can happen anytime.

Another way this job would potentially affect my career is that it would be a 2nd art librarian job in a row. By focusing my career on such a tiny field (there are only about 300-400 art librarians in the U.S.), I am slightly worried that I may be putting myself in a box, essentially type casting myself. But this kind of organization would probably be easy to grow in (I read one of their annual reports and it says they are expecting a lot of people to retire over the next few years). And again, if I like my job, that won't matter!

The daughter of one of my mom's friends works there now and she said everyone there is very smart and super nice -- what more can you ask for in coworkers?? This museum has really become an icon of the city, and its success can only be due to the amazing employees there, so I would love to be a part of that!

The biggest boon would be, of course, moving to Richmond. I absolutely love Richmond and have always wanted to live there. I'd be close to my family and I know Richmond has all the stuff I am looking for in a city (I have been researching! I learned my lesson about moving here -- I did no research and just went with my emotional response to Savannah-- huge mistake.). One of the first red flags I got when I moved to Savannah was that no one here is from Savannah. That means they all get out ASAP. Richmond is not like that at all. You can't shake a stick without hitting a Richmond native -- I take that as a really good sign. I can see this being my -- gasp! -- last move.

I am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch or be overly confident about this, but I have a decent shot at getting this job. If you read the description of the requirements, I have every single one of them...plus extras. I would be taking a small pay cut, but nothing drastic. And again, if my personal life improves, it will be worth it.

The Czarina is, of course, ecstatic. She wants to have all of her "chickens" (that's what she calls all of her children) back in the roost, so to speak. I miss home, too. Now that my brother Fat Dog is married (yay! They ended up eloping to Hawaii and we are all very happy!) and my little sister Smurf is in college, I really want to be around family more. Even though The Czarina drives me nuts, I still love her.

The cherry on this little sundae I am whipping up is that The Czarina owns a condo right down the street from the museum -- a nice condo. That she will rent to me. And then I can walk to work and live in a super awesome neighborhood. WOOT!

So I'll be flying up for my interview on Wednesday. The interview is on Thursday morning. Wish me luck!

Oh, and if anyone has advice/good stories to share about moving down the ladder or taking jobs to enable you to focus on your personal life more, I would love to hear about it! Was it worth it? Do you have any regrets? Have you found it difficult to move back up the ladder later? The Czarina did it once and she (to this day) doesn't regret it. Although that might be because when she did it, she moved to Washington DC and met my dad. Of course it's easy for her to say she didn't regret it!

Now Accepting Applications

WANTED: 100% single women, between 25-35 years of age, who live in Savannah, GA and are interested in participating in PG-13 level shenanigans with woman of similar mindset. Shenanigans may include, but are not limited to: laughing, dancing, happy hours, flirting with cute boys, making out with cute boys, shopping, brunch/coffee dates, talking on the phone, watching reruns of Sex and the City, getting pedicures. Hipsters and goody-two shoes need not apply. Preference given to former sorority girls who have experience in the aforementioned shenanigans.

Here it is, another Saturday night, and I am alone. Is it just me, or is making friends way more difficult after college? I think I have blogged about this before...I'll try and keep this brief.

St. Patty's Day is in full swing, and the city is crawling with fun, young people, and I am dying to be one of them. I want to laugh and flirt and dance...but instead, my only choices are to watch tv with my dog or be the weird girl who is out at a bar by herself. Stone cold sober, I might add, which makes fitting into the debauchery that much more difficult. (If anyone has mastered the art of going out alone, please teach me your ways!)

I believe there are 2 main contributing factors to my problem.

1. I keep moving around too much. It takes time to make good friends, and my favorite party buds are all in Columbia, SC right now. (They couldn't make it down here for St. Patty's Day)

2. I have not been making as much of an effort to make friends here in Savannah as I probably should. Don't get me wrong -- I love my coworkers and I love my Bible Study friends. But neither group is into doing what I'm into doing at the moment. I am not a hipster (like all my coworkers) and I definitely do not want a family-friendly, G-rated evening (like my Bible Study friends). I am envisioning a slightly tamer version of the frat parties I attended while in college. Where do sorority girls go when they grow up??? Oh yeah, they get married. Right. I sorta skipped that part. Note to self: get married so you don't care about frat parties any more.

I cannot be the last single, 30 year old (ok, ok, 32 year old) non-hipster in this town (seriously, y'all, Savannah is Hipster Central) who wants to snog with cute boys in dark corners and dance to hip hop songs with her girlfriends.

I'm too fratty for the hipsters and too bad girl for the BS crowd. Sometimes I feel like I live a double life. I can't really be myself around any of my friends.

*sigh*

I know there are girls out there like me. I just can't find them! Argh. So frustrating. To make matters worse, my own mother has a booming social life -- AND a boyfriend. Something about that doesn't seem quite right. She's always been super duper social butterfly, and I have always considered myself one to a lesser extent. Put me in a room full of talking people and I can hold my own -- even inter-generationally. For me, the hard part is finding the room. I know what to do when I get there!

Guys have it so much easier when it comes to this problem. "So, how do you like them Yankees?" is all they seem to need to become instant buds with someone. Girls aren't as open. I wish we would stop acting like that. Would it kill women to be a little bit friendlier? In this day and age, we need girlfriends more than ever. Why not invite the girl who complimented your shoes to sit with your friends at the bar? Why not introduce your group to the group next to you? Isn't it a "the more, the merrier" situation? What's with all the snarkiness and competition? That's got to be my least favorite thing about my gender. Why can't we just be cool and friendly? I should wear a shirt that says, "Trust me, I don't want your man. I just want to have brunch with you so we can recount the previous night's girly debauchery."

I'm kind of worried that I may have a touch of my dad's personality when it comes to friends. We used to tease him, because if you were to stick all of his friends into a room, it would be a random assortment of people -- very few of them would have anything in common. Luckily for him, he was much more comfortable being a loner than I am. Plus, it's hard to feel lonely when you have a wife and 7 kids. My dad would have a deep connection with each one of his friends, but only in one way. That's kind of how I am -- I have one friend for X, another friend for Y, a third friend for Z. I wish I could find a friend that covers the whole alphabet! Where are the Samantha, Charlotte and Mirandas to my Carrie? (Not that I'm a Carrie...I'm probably closer to Charlotte, actually.) My mom's friends are all whole-alphabet friends and they've known each other for like, 40 years-- ever since high school/college. This is incredible to me. I don't even talk to my college friends anymore, let alone high school. Then again, they are all in Chicago and married with babies, so really, what do we have in common? I feel I'm a completely different person now than I was then.

Anyway, no point in moping around about this. I need a plan of action. Time to join some clubs or start new activities. Or at least go to restaurants/bars I don't normally go to. And I have to force myself to talk to people with out fear -- otherwise, I will go into shy, silent mode. No one wants to hang out with Silent Girl. (This is one of the reasons why I always feel so comfortable around funny people -- they totally break the ice for me.)

Oh well. At least I won't get barfed on or have to deal with annoying drunk people tonight. And I won't wake up smelling like cigarettes. That makes me feel better.

Man, what I wouldn't give for one last frat party right now....and a wholly single (no hubby, no fiance, not even a boyfriend) non-hipster, non-Bible Study gal pal to go with!

Until then, I'll be singing along to this...which makes me giggle, so that helps!


Thanks for listening to my whining, as usual. I'll try not to be Pity Party Girl next time.

Cougars -- RAWRRRR!!!

So far, I am really liking my new position at work. I get to tackle problems I've always wanted to work on, help my coworkers do better at their jobs and learn how to manage people better. It's been great so far, and I'm getting a lot of positive feedback.

I'm just not getting any money for it. *grumble*

What they are going to do is give me a bonus when I'm no longer in this interim position. If the new Big Boss decides to officially give me my title, they will give me the bonus and also up my pay. If the new Big Boss decides to not give me the title, I will go back to my previous position and just get a bonus. Then I will immediately look for a new job, because hello! That's a pretty clear message. But I think I will hopefully get it. *knocks on wood* I'm not too upset about this situation, because I'm doing this more for the experience than the pay. I need this promotion on my resume.

I don't know when Big Boss's position will get filled, though. They are bringing in candidates left and right, but all we get to do is give them a tour -- we are not involved in the interview process. I am not a fan of this system, but it's out of my control. The odd thing is, our HR person randomly emailed one of my staff and asked them to sit in on one of the interviews (not all of them, just one of the interviews. As she is really new, this is really odd to both of us. She's trying to encourage HR to ask me to do it instead, as I'm the more logical person to be there (not to toot my own horn, but I am).

And I can't outright fire The Gorilla, but I can assure you I am all up in his beeswax! He was demoted and is now under the new girl, and he keeps telling her that he hates his job and "can't take it anymore" and is looking for a new job. HR told us that the next time he says it, we can consider it his verbal resignation and they will back us on it!

Alright, enough about work. Let's talk about something more fun...like my dating life. No, really, I honestly have an update! It turns out I am not dead! I had a blind date about a week ago. First date in a year and a half. WOOT! Backstory: I have a friend whose mission in life is to get me a man. I do not argue with this. She randomly calls me with potential guys in mind, and our conversations go like this:

Fixer-Upper: Hey, VB, what's your age limit on older m--
Me: None. Don't care.
Fixer-Upper: You're sure? Cuz he's--
Me: Don't care. Give him my number.
Fixer-Upper: Ok, cool! I'll tell him to call you.

I did veto a date with at 22 year old, mostly because that honestly just feels illegal. But I did say yes to one of her ideas, and so I messaged him on facebook. (You should be clapping right now, because I do NOT NOT NOT make first moves. But Fixer-Upper is the type of person who would nag me incessantly if I didn't do something to meet this guy, so I did it to get her off my back.)

Long story short, I was on a blind date the next night. Here are the stats: 26, tall, cute, works 3 jobs (one of which is being a fireman -- hawt), has a dog, former military guy (for some reason, military guys are always into me. Not sure why.), is a Christian....so all in all, a good package. Also, he doesn't drink, which is a nice change of pace. I was more hung up on the age thing than he was. I have never dated someone this much younger than me. He was just starting middle school when I was in the 12th grade. It's kind of weird. Honestly, I would feel more comfortable with someone who has more life experience than me. Call me old-fashioned. He's very sweet, and we had good conversations and a decent amount of stuff in common, but I also kinda wish he was a little funnier and more cerebral. (WHERE are all the smart, funny, well-educated men in this world????) But he's a good person and cute enough to make out with, so I would probably give him another shot.

Although he told our mutual friend that he's into me, he hasn't called me. Fixer-Upper wants me to call him, but I refuse. I set up the first date. If he wants to see me again, he knows where to find me. *dusts off hands*

Meanwhile, St. Patty's Day is right around the corner. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, or if any of you have heard, but we have a MASSIVE St. Patty's Day festival here every year. It's the 2nd biggest east of the Mississippi. This is the day that the rest of Savannah's year pivots around. We even have a big countdown clock for it. (I highly recommend it, btw, because you can walk around with open containers here in Savannah and we have a ton of bars! You're all invited!)

The cool thing is, this year, for the first time, I live on the parade route!!! Although the parade starts at 10am, everyone starts drinking earlier than that. So I'm having all my friends over for snacks and parade-watching and beer drinking. I can't wait! Then, I'm going to another friend's house for a dinner-time cookout. Then I'll hit the bars -- hello, cute vacationing single men!!!! Just so you know, I am Irish!!!!

Speaking of cute, single vacationing men and St. Patty's Day, I texted New Year's Eve Guy to invite him to visit for St. Patty's Day. I figured, what do I have to lose, right? I thought he would not be into this idea or (worse) completely ignore my text, but that didn't happen. He said he can't go because he's attending another event this week, but he's definitely got Savannah on his wish list. Yes, he used the word "definitely". And I'm clinging to it!

I know I don't know him very well, but somehow, this guy totally got under my skin. Go ahead, laugh at me and my long-shot crushes. But there's just something about him that I am SO into. Probably because he's one of the funniest and most fun people I've ever met. *sigh* He's younger than me, too, although not by much. Did I mention he's super fun to make out with? *swoon*

Am I a cougar? Or some other feline species? Someone needs to set up an official, tiered system for cougars, snow leopards, cheetahs, et al. so I know what to call myself. This sounds like a job for Mystery.

In other cougar news, (yes, dear readers, there is more!) I was hanging out with my dad's ex-wife this past week (long story). She's 70 and looking for a place to retire. She wants to live in one of those all-inclusive resorts that have tennis, swimming, etc. She was telling me all about these complexes, and then she happened to mention that these retirement communities have major HIV epidemics in them!!!

Excuse me?

Well, it turns out that many of them are widowed, bored, popping Viagra like it's going out of style, not in the habit of using condoms, and so when you combine all of that together, you get...well, HIV problems. I didn't believe it until I did some research. Huh. Who knew.

I'm not one to end on a depressing note (I mean, who likes to think about Grandma humping her way through retirement? Not me, and I don't even have a grandma!) so I will leave you with one of my favorite MadTV clips. Lorraine was one of the first (and best!) cougars of all:

New Place and That's Not Chicken

Hello, Everyone! Sorry I've been away so long. I have moved (yes, again! Move #17 of my life!) and been busy planning for Hong Kong. Because why not move AND take a 2 week international trip right afterwards? That's not stressful at all.

I also had to order and set up my Wi Fire, this super cool gizmo that magnifies wifi signals. Since I moved right next door to one of the buildings associated with the school where I work, I needed something to help me pick up the wifi signal from next door. It was too weak to pick up with my built in wifi thingie on my laptop, so I did some research and found out about this Wi Fire thing. They sell it on Amazon for $50, and voila! Free internet, courtesy of the wifi network next door! Woo hoo!

So I have moved out of the townhouse I shared with the Ex-F. It was a big relief -- I had a lot of bad memories there, and the HOA was driving me nuts with their controlling ways. Did I tell you they wouldn't let me have a yard sale? Yeah. WTF. They said it would "inconvenience my neighbors". Whatever. I just sold everything on Craigslist. They can bite me. Since I was moving from a 3 bedroom, 1250 sq ft place into a one bedroom, 800 sq ft place, I had to do a LOT of downsizing! I ended up making almost $300. Sweet.

Now, I am back downtown, living in an old building, just like I wanted. It was built a little after the turn of the century, and I really like the details. I'm actually right across the street from work, which is pretty cool. I can take naps on my lunch break! My coworker Lunch Buddy (her nickname, since we eat lunch together every day) and I watch tv at my house while we eat our turkey sandwiches. It's pretty sweet.

I have to say, I am pretty stoked about my new place, even though I am not done unpacking or setting it up. I forgot how long it takes to cram all your stuff into a smaller place! Not only do I have a sweet location, but my building was redone very nicely, so the kitchen is great and the apartment is not grungy or weird. It even has a normal floor plan, and gorgeous hardwood floors. And lots of storage -- a rarity in downtown Savannah! And like I said, I now get free internet! I am never moving again, as long as I live in Savannah, anyway. The kitchen even has a garbage disposal and a dishwasher. I have a clawfoot tub in my bathroom which is original to the building, so it's about 80-90 years old. I even have a spot for my washer and dryer, so I have on-site laundry facilities -- another rare thing in downtown Savannah. And would you believe this place is almost $100 cheaper than my old place? So worth it. Several of my coworkers have confessed to apartment envy.

I forgot to mention one super cool thing -- according to my landlord, Shoeless Joe Jackson used to live in this building after he got out of the Major Leagues. She doesn't know which apartment, though. Cool, huh? Here are some pics.

This is the outside of my building. I'm on the bottom left. (Yay, no more stairs!)


A shot of my bedroom:


The super cool fireplace in my bedroom:


My kitchen (you can't see the fridge on the left or the sinks on the right, so just use your imagination.)


Another shot of the living room:


I have some other pics, too, but are you really interested in seeing my closets? Didn't think so. The Czarina wants me to send more pics when I am all set up, so I'll share those when I take them.

I leave for Hong Kong on Saturday for 2 weeks. I am sooooo not ready and have a to-do list that is making me panic a little. I do have the major things done -- new passport and all my shots (dude, I had to get like, 7 different shots! Whoa!) . But now I just have to do laundry, run a bunch of errands, pack....ugh. I am a little stressed. I have Friday off, which helps, and my flight doesn't leave until noon on Saturday, so that also gives me a little time.

I won't get excited until I get on the plane. Then I will be super pumped! Even though this is a work trip, I am excited to experience a different country on someone else's dime. I wish they had put me in business or first class, considering my flight from Detroit to Hong Kong is 16 hours, but whatever. I'll survive. I'm actually more worried about eating while I am there. You see, I can't use chop sticks. I love egg rolls, but they will get old after a while. I am packing plastic forks, just in case.

After wondering what Chinese people eat for breakfast, I got a DVD about Cantonese food from Netflix the other day. Excited to learn more about the world of dumplings and stir-fry, I sat on my couch to watch. The narrator started off with something along the lines of how bouts of war and famine in China throughout time forced the people to consume all their food daily because they had to remain on the move and couldn't afford to bring food along (hence the emphasis on fresh ingredients). They also had to cook their food quickly to save time (hence the invention of stir-fry) and they also had no money so they had to eat cheaply (hence all the rice).

Very nice. Making sense so far, I thought.

Next, the narrator explained that the Cantonese people sometimes had to just eat what was available to them, due to the constant upheavals which come along with war and famine. Then the narrator said something about how there's a saying about the Cantonese -- they will eat anything that flies, swims or crawls.

Oh, haha, like they would eat my dog, how stereotypical, I thought.

"Actually," the narrator continued, "In the Cantonese language, there is no word for 'inedible.'"

Um, what?

Then the narrator said, "Chapter One: Chicken."

Oh no....

And what followed after was a 20 minute expose of how they love chicken and eat every part (and I mean every part) of a chicken. WARNING: Do not eat while reading this next part.

So they eat the obvious chicken parts. But the thing that is weird is that they seem to always cook the chickens whole (well, minus the feathers, which seems to be the only part of the chicken they don't eat). So there were all these full bodied chickens being boiled in pots. Whatever, they probably buy them from farmers and chop the heads off later, right? Wrong. Sometimes, you are served a whole chicken on your plate. As in, it's looking at you. Other times, they cut the head off, but only because they are making another dish with the head parts. Like deep-fried chicken beaks, for example. Ew. I have heard of people in the South eating chicken feet, but chicken beaks?? Sounds...crunchy. I would also like to add that they make a "specialty" dish out of the chicken part which I will simply refer to as "sphincter". Yes. They deep fry those, too, and you dip them in sauce. Are you gagging yet? Because I was. It totally ruined the ice cream I was eating while watching the DVD.

So they get to the end of the chicken section, and I'm like, "WHEW! Glad that's over!" But then the narrator comes back on and says, "Chapter 2: Snake." Ooooohhh noooooooo.......

I won't even tell you what they do with snake. All I can say is thank the Lord they are shaped the way they are so I can spot them in any dishes offered to me.

I stopped the DVD after the snake chapter. Chapter 3 was "Sheep", I think. No, thanks. I'm already a picky eater, and not the world's biggest Asian food fan, so this DVD was not helping. Perhaps this trip will be a good way to kick off my diet? I probably won't have any access to Ben and Jerry's which will be a start. However, I do know that KFC is on like donkey kong over there, so I can have fried chicken (breasts! Not beaks!) if I get the hankering. One of my coworkers made me promise to try at least one weird thing while I'm over there. I agreed, but only after she said it didn't have to be snake.

Well, guys, I don't know if I will have time to blog again before I leave, but I will blog when I get back. I'm not bringing my laptop with me, because my hotel charges $15/day for internet access. Which may be worth it, but the dealbreaker was that I found out that you can't get internet on planes once you're about 100 miles away from the US coastline. Well, not on Delta flights, anyway. If I could hop online as I cross the Pacific, I would probably bring it, but that is too much hassle. Sorry, guys. I'll be bringing a little notebook with me so I can write down all the interesting/funny/weird things I experience while over there. I'll provide a full report when I get back! Until then..........joi gin (goodbye)!

Back in the Saddle

I knew something was up when I began getting more emails from Ancestry.com than I did from real, actual people.

Then I started to think about the number of people I have met here in Savannah...outside of work.

Gradually, my activity on Facebook has dwindled to....well, nothing, really.

But I knew I had to do something when I found out The Czarina has more of a dating life than I do.

Yes, my own mother has something closer to a boyfriend than I do. Considering she is 63, this concerns me, and quite frankly, just seems wrong.

Time for action.

I will no longer turn down social invitations because I am tired or because I don't like staying up late. I will sleep when I'm dead. I will flirt with guys whenever possible, instead of just assuming they are not interested in me. I will get out of the house more, and exercise more. (I am thinking about getting a pair of those Reebok butt-toning shoes. Have you seen the ads? They are very convincing. I want my butt to look like the ones on the commercials.)

To see what I'm up against, let's see what I have already accomplished, and what sort of challenges I should expect.

Upside: The Ex-Fiance is moving out next weekend!! Yay!
Downside: I will not have much money left for social activities. I will have to get creative. Because I will be broke-edy broke broke. Until I get a tenant for my house in SC. Which at this rate will be in like, November.

Upside: I have been going out more lately.
Downside: It's been with a girl I will call Frenemy. We are in different departments, but the same building. She is a textbook frenemy: super fun girl, but you can only trust her as far as you can see her. Makes me a little nervous.

Upside: I have recently joined a Bible Study group. Never thought I would do that. Ever. I always thought those things were full of Bible-thumping weirdos. But it's really great. It's like free therapy. Very supportive, and I really like all the girls. I have always believed I am a Christian (er, well, attempted to be one, anyway), and now I am learning more about my faith, which is really great.
Downside: They are almost 100% married and pregnant/just had babies. Which means I know WAY more about diaper genies than is normal for someone in my stage of life. Hello? Where are the single women in this town? Besides my coworkers?

Upside: There are always lots of cool art-related events in this town. It pays to work for an art school! I am going to a photography show tonight.
Downside: Usually, the kind of guys at art-related events are at best -- not my type, and at worst -- gay. With all the married ones falling in-between. Ugh. Do I have to drive to a bigger city and be watching football to meet cute, straight, single guys? Sometimes I feel like this town is one big Greenwich Village. Full of Village People.

No offense to gay guys, but usually they don't like it when I try and make out with them.

Upside: I love my coworkers. They rock. Super fun, most of them are single, too.
Downside: Although I love hanging out w/them, sometimes it's nice not to talk about work, and I would like to get a wider group of friends here. Also, one of my coworkers (a girl I hired -- of course!) drives me INSANE. So sometimes I turn down invitations to hang out with them, just so I can avoid spending less than 40 hours with this girl. I can hardly stand to be in the same room as her. I so need to devote a whole post to her. It is long overdue.

Upside: I have also recently joined a political group. As I get older, I follow politics much more closely, and am excited to meet up with like-minded people. The next meeting is in early May. By my experience, guys do tend to like politics. This isn't the main reason I am going. I'm just mentioning this because this activity has a higher likelihood of me meeting those cute, single straight guys. That's just gravy.
Downside: Um...I don't think there is one to this. Cool.

Upside: Despite my weight gain (and lack of motivation to take it off), I must still "have it", because I recently found out through the grapevine that a friend of mine wants to hook up with me. It is always good to know I am not hideous or too old.
Downside: It is not someone I have feelings for in that way. He's a great guy, but I just don't see him like that. Also, I found out about all of this because the Ex-F told me about it -- apparently this guy asked Ex-F's permission to hook up with me. Not date me-- hook up with me. Kind of tacky. Kind of a dick move -- he and Ex-F are kinda friends. Who does that?? (I will blame his actions on the fact that he's going through a rough divorce right now.)

So now I need your help. Give me some ideas, people. How can I meet other single peeps? Preferably of the straight, single and beefy male variety? Cuz they are not hanging out at the vegan coffee shop, let me tell you. No wonder I am single. All the stuff I like to do (baking, coffee shop hanging, Target-shopping, antiquing) is stuff that a straight guy wouldn't be caught dead doing. Argh. How do people meet???

I took a walk in Forsyth Park yesterday. It's gorgeous there, and there's this big fountain where people like to get married. There was a wedding, and the happy couple was taking their post-nuptial photos as I walked by. They looked so happy and beautiful. I suppressed a twinge of envy as I noticed the groom was a lot older close up. And he had a bald spot.

Happy bride about my age = older guy w/bald spot.

Hmmm. Food for thought.

I have also considered getting on eHarmony, if only for the hilarity that is online dating. (Remember those posts, long-time readers?) I should do it, if only to make it up to all of you for my lack of posting. Ain't no post like an online dating post. Jeez, those were doozies.

I used to snicker at my college girlfriends who would talk about how they hoped to meet their future husbands while still in college. I thought they were nuts. Old-fashioned. Afraid of being independent. Why settle down when there are so many cute frat boys to make out with???

Now I'm 31 and stuck in a town full of gay dudes. I think I effed up.

Culture Vulture

One of the (few) things I like about Savannah is the amazing level of cultural exploration I can enjoy here. Obviously, working for an art school makes this pretty easy. Not only am I constantly exposed to the talented students and their creative endeavors, but there are museums and galleries and performing artists which visit here and exhibit their works, sometimes in conjunction with the school, and sometimes just by coincidence. Then, of course, there are all of the beautiful old buildings-- my love of old buildings is one of the reasons I moved here. This town is so beautiful and charming, especially this time of year. I feel blessed to be surrounded by all of this. Want to see what I mean? Try searching Google Images for "savannah ga architecture".

As you can imagine, my knowledge of art and design has been on quite a steep learning curve over the past year! When I started my job, I didn't know who Jonathan Adler or Damien Hirst were. I had no idea what Mannerism is or that there is a proper way of critiquing art -- it's not just about whether or not you like it. And I didn't really understand what motion graphics even meant. (If you don't know what motion graphics are, you probably see them every day -- it's hard to watch TV without seeing words or shapes that move across your screen -- that's motion graphics, in a nutshell. Every time you watch the opening credits for a movie, you're experiencing motion graphics.)

Now, I have learned that there are some contemporary artists I actually like (I am still not much for Modern Art). I have learned that I love portrait photography and art that is a little on the creepy side. Here are some of my favorites:

Mark Ryden : really creepy paintings -- LOVE this guy! If I could afford his work, I would start a collection.
Shelby Lee Adams : takes photographs of Appalachian folk -- I highly recommend his books and the documentary -- very moving and tender look at these people who have been sidelined by society. You can probably find one of his books at your local public library.
Erick Swenson : I saw one of his shows, and really liked his sculpture, even though some of the pieces are kinda gross.
Nick Cave : (Not to be confused with the Australian singer) This guy is amazing! So vibrant, so colorful, so fun! I watched one of his performances, and it was very exciting. Sort of like dancing African muppets. Very cool!

I'm sure there are more, but I just can't think of them at the moment.

There are also some local artists/students I really like, including:
Rubi McGrory: She works in fibers and makes things like quilts and samplers, but with modern subjects. Very cool! I really like her sense of humor.
Bang-yao Liu: I don't know what this kid is majoring in, or if he's done anything else, but this video is amazing. It hit campus like a firestorm -- everyone has watched it, I'm pretty sure. Ashton Kutcher even twittered it!
Morgan Lockamy: She's a senior painting major here. I happened to be in the painting building, saw one of her paintings, fell totally in love with it, and eventually bought it! I could stare at it all day. She's amazingly talented and has a full ride scholarship to show for it. I can't find any samples of her work online, otherwise I would share.

Arg. There are so many cool artists I have been meaning to share with you. I know I am forgetting some. Oh well, I will just share later.

I did get a chance to see She & Him recently. They came to Savannah for part of our annual music festival. They were (of course) awesome. I already love Zooey Deschanel as an actress, and now I also love her as a musician.

And even though I like creepy art, I think I draw the line here.

Finally, I am sharing with you a super cool video about art.

Alright, that's all I can think of for today. I will try and remember more cool stuff to share later. Right now, I gotta go pay my taxes. So lame, I know. :P

Hi!! I'm Back!

Hello, faithful and patient readers! I know I have been m.i.a., but I promise I have rewards for you. CN and I are now in a much bigger, safer and newer house in Savannah. I now have little luxuries like electrical outlets, a dishwasher and elbow room.

You see, before we moved, the computers were in a very cramped corner and it made blogging not fun. Also, I felt I needed a little bit of a break. But now I am back! And I have lots to report! Time for a bulleted list of updates:

• My job is still great, despite the fact that I work for Big Brother (see previous post).
• I was in KT's wedding, and it was very fun. She was very beautiful.
  
• I am now officially a boss. I have 2 staff members. This is very weird and I am not used to it yet.
• I still have not stopped moving since I moved to Savannah. I always have something to do and things to attend. I would like to get off the rollercoaster, but now I have a wedding to plan!
• My stupid ex-boyf tried to friend me on facebook. Yes, that ex. The huge asshole one. I am ignoring it.
  
• Savannah is kind of weird and a little smaller than I am used to, but it is a very interesting town with lots to do: tours, the beach, museums, restaurants, art galleries/shows, etc. It is really fun to explore it. CN and I actually snuck into the end of a tour of a haunted house, actually. It was surprisingly easy. It was kinda funny, because we could tell the other people were looking at us like, "Hey, who are those people?" LOL But CN and I felt too guilty to do it again. Typical. *rolls eyes*
• Our new house has dramatically reduced our stress levels. It is so nice to have closets and peace and quiet! Very very safe neighborhood, full of other young couples.
  

That's about all I can think of, but let me tell you about the little things that have been challenging during this last move: CN's entertainment center was too big to move, so he is selling it. This is awesome, because I don't like it anyway. :)

Also, sometime during the move, the hose which drains the dirty water from the washing machine acquired a hole. We did not realize this until after we moved it upstairs to its designated spot, then did a load of laundry, only to come across a huge puddle of water on the floor below. Oops. So much for our damage deposit. Luckily, the spots on the ceiling aren't too bad, so we might be ok.

The key to our mailbox is broken, and we have to wait on the post office to replace it, because our mailbox is owned by the post office. Until then, we can't get our mail from there. We didn't realize we could simply put our mail on hold at the post office and just pick it up. We finally realized we could do this (I guess we are ignorant of post office options!) and started holding it on Monday. So there are 2 weeks-worth of mail which are m.i.a. This concerns me. I even happened upon our mailman today and got him to open our mailbox for me, only to find 2 measly pieces of junk mail in there. WTF?? Where is all our mail??

We just got internet and cable tv about 3 days ago, after multiple appointment cancellations and technical difficulties on the part of the cable/internet people. CN was going crazy, because he can't do his work without a landline internet connection. He actually had to drive up to his mom's house for a couple days just to use her internet so he could get some work done. He was about to kill AT&T and DirecTV.

Something is wonky about the way our street receives power from the power company. Every time there is a big thunderstorm, we lose power. Since we moved in August 1st, we have lost power 4 times -- about once a week. Our neighbors tell us to get used to it because it's always been like this, and there is nothing we can do. It's annoying, but since it usually rains in the late afternoon, it means I can't cook dinner. "Shoot! I guess we have to go out to eat again, honey!" Tee hee. Usually the power will be out for about 4 hours when this happens. Yeah, we are not loving this so much. But I am getting to use my candles!

Have I shared pics of our new place? I can't remember. Someone let me know. We ended up moving into the new townhomes near the Bonaventure Cemetery, which is the cemetery featured prominently in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. I can basically see the entrance to it from my front porch. I take walks in there sometimes. CN thinks our house is built on part of it, because of all the bad luck things that have gone wrong during our move!

Wedding update for those of you who are interested:

No ring/official proposal yet. But the date is more or less set: July 10th. CN and I are going to visit The Czarina over Labor Day. We are bringing his mom with us -- the moms are meeting, which is kind of cool. While we are up there, CN is supposed to get the ring from The Czarina. I am not going to ask him if he does get it because I do want it to be as much of a surprise as possible, but if he doesn't, I will chop his head off. :)

I have been doing the typical thing of ripping pages of ideas out of bridal magazines. It's pretty fun to plan it all out. Today, I even went wedding dress shopping for a little bit. It was very surreal and emotional -- I was caught off guard, actually. I thought it would just be like trying on regular clothes. But they keep kleenex there for a reason! I didn't like doing it without my mom. It made me sad, a little. So I am not going to do any more serious shopping until Labor Day weekend, when she and I are doing a major blitz -- venues and dresses for the whole weekend. Anyway, it was so funny, because I walked into the store and told the women my requirements:

no strapless dresses!
white, not ivory!
no beading, but lace is good
no bustle-ly looking things, because I think it looks like static cling.
keep it kind of simple

They looked at each other and laughed at me, and I didn't know why.

A few minutes later, I found out why. I fell in love with this:




No, I don't think it's "the" dress, but I do like it, and the price is good. It's a contender, for sure. I will know more after I check out more stores and dresses. If you want to see more pics of the dress, go to the Casablanca bridal website and do a search for style #1904.

Yes, this is the first time I am putting my face on my blog. AND it's a wedding dress pic. See, I told you it was worth the wait! This is a terrible photo of me, actually. I didn't think my face was in it, so I was talking.

Ok, CN and I are going to go grab some dinner. I expect a lot of comments, people!!!

Weirdsville

CN and I went out last night with some of my coworkers, so he is sleeping off the beers, which means I am free to blog without him standing over me or trying to grab my boobs. Yay!

I am very excited to write this post, as it's been a long time coming. I knew within days of moving to Savannah that I would have to start keeping track of this stuff. I should have kept a list, because I know I am going to forget some things. Maybe I will just post them as I remember them.

Without further ado, I present to you a list of all the really strange things I have witnessed since moving to the weirdest town I've ever lived in -- Savannah, Georgia.

1. I was walking with MJ around my neighborhood, when we saw a guy walking in the opposite direction. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, as he is crossing a street, he busts out into breakdancing. We are confused and amazed, and so we stop to watch. Then, just as quickly, he jumps up and goes right back to walking to wherever he was going.

2. There is a guy I see on occassion downtown. He wears a white pharaoh's outfit, complete with that ancient Egyptian-style headdress. I cannot figure out if he needs to wear that for a job of some kind or what. But he never changes into street clothes before walking home. This is odd to me.

3. One morning, just before 8am, I was walking to work. To save time, I cut through an old cemetery in the middle of downtown. Usually, it is full of people walking to work or walking their dogs or tourists who read the historical markers. This particular morning, I crossed paths with a guy carrying 4 big bottles of Gain liquid laundry detergent. He was in a part of town that was nowhere near any stores or laundromats-- especially none open at 7am. And even if he was, why would you buy four at once and carry them around??? This one still puzzles me.

4. To cut through this cemetery, I have to go through a back gate and a front gate, as the perimeter is fenced in. For months, both gates were open from at least 7:30am until about 8pm. Then, one day, they started locking only the back gate at 5pm, sharp. This means I had to take a longer way to get home. I asked the security guard one day why they started locking the back gate at 5, and he couldn't give me an answer. If the front gate stays open until 8pm, what does it matter if the back gate does, too?? UGH!

5. Now that it is hot, I drive to work and park in a parking lot about 3 blocks from work. As I walk along these three blocks, I pass a Mexican restaurant. One day, there was a man standing outside of it, facing the wall of the restaurant. He was talking to himself. Loudly. And gesturing with his arms and legs vigorously. I crossed the street to avoid this wack job. That's when I noticed there were several pedestrians, and we were all staring at him. The crazy guy suddenly looked up and saw one of the other pedestrians, and immediately stopped.

6. I think I forgot to mention that I attended the festivities for St. Patty's Day a few months back. Now, it's a pretty crazy time here in Savannah. It's as important to us as Mardi Gras is to New Orleans. I mean, St. Patty's has been celebrated here for like, 130 years. Anytime you get a large group of drunk people together, you're going to see some crazy stuff. But imagine my surprise when I saw a fully grown man, wearing nothing but sunglasses and a very large diaper!

7. One day, CN and I found an empty jar of Nutella in our backyard. We have no idea how it got there. Some Nutella-flinging freak was done with it, I suppose.

8. I have a neighbor who, luckily for me, lives too far away to bother me with his habit of getting up at 5am to blare music from the 1980s from his front porch. The music is on all. day. long.

9. CN saw a fully-dressed clown walking down the street once. It was a sad-faced clown. Odd.

10. We have not received our electricity bill in two months. Luckily, the library where I work is directly across the street from the electric company's customer service center, so I just pay it on my lunch break when I know it's probably due. But the rest of our mail makes it to our house, no problem.

There are lots more, guys, but I just can't think of them right now. This is seriously the oddest town I have ever seen! I'll share more in the future.

*Yawn!* Ok, I think I will get on my bike and ride to Starbucks for some coffee. Happy 4th of July, everyone!

We're Moving! Again!

After what feels like looking at about one million houses and apartments, CN and I finally decided on where we are going to live.

We were almost going to sign a lease to live in an adorable house in this neighborhood called Ardsley Park. It's a really nice area just south of downtown, full of charming homes, mostly little bungalows from the 1920s-1940s. There are porch swings and hardwood floors and screen porches and sidewalks and little parks sprinkled throughout. Plus, it's nice and quiet and safe. Mostly young couples, with the occasional kid or two. And lots of dogs. *sigh* (If you ever watch that show, "Ruby", on the Style network, she lives in Ardsley Park. You could get a feel for the area if you see that show.) Anyway, Ardsley is a very desirable area, and it's a shame we aren't looking to buy, because we'd be there in a heartbeat.

So we were all ready to go for this 3BR, 2BA brick home in Ardsley. It had a really nice kitchen, lots of charm, a finished attic (where CN could have his office and his Man Room) and a big backyard for Sammy. But we looked at Craigslist one more time.

We had been keeping our eyes on these brand new townhomes, over in an area called Thunderbolt. What a name, huh? We had gone to see them, but they were a little more than we wanted to spend for the location (it's not a bad location, but there aren't any parks or places to take walks, and there's a lot more traffic on the main road in and out of there.) So these townhomes were originally for sale, but thanks to our awesome economy, they aren't selling, so the builder is now renting them out. At first, they wanted $1200/mo, which was basically what we would be spending in Ardsley. But they dropped the rent to $1000/mo! How do we say no??? We would be stupid to live anywhere else.

These townhomes are in a quiet little cul-de-sac near Bonaventure Cemetery. If you remember Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, this is the cemetery where the Bird Girl statue is. So it's pretty quiet! LOL Each townhouse has a ground-level garage, which is huge. Then the next floor up has a living room, half bath, eat-in kitchen and back porch (which can be screened in at our request -- I am so excited!). Then the top floor has 3 bedrooms and 2 full baths, along with the washer and dryer. This means I get my own bathroom and closet. Be still my beating heart. And the kitchen??? I can totally cook in it. I am so excited. And since it's new, it is well-insulated, unlike the box of swiss cheese we live in right now. Our electricity bill this month? $120. This is for an 800 sq ft apartment. Which is absurd.

Ok, I have to go beat CN into the bathroom to get ready for work, so I gotta go. Here's some pics. I'll try and post more often, y'all. I know I stink.

Growing Pains

Just to clarify for everyone, I am not blogging right now so that I can talk about my boyfriend's "small wiener" because I "don't even like him anymore."

Ugh. This is all I am listening to until my drunk boyfriend goes to bed. It's like a frigging record player. He's joking when he says it, but he's slurring. Which would be funny. The first 43 times.

Oh crap. He just came in and read all of that over my shoulder. Now he's talking about how I "don't even like him anymore." Again. According to him, he is sleeping on the couch (he's not) because I hate him (I don't). Ooh, he turned on American Idol. Sweet. It's like my own personal boyfriend babysitter. Silence is golden. I can blog in peace.

*Mumblings about how I don't even like him because he has a small wiener are heard from the living room couch.*

"No, you don't have a small wiener. It's massive and I can barely handle it," I am saying.

He said something about buttholes. I don't know.

Gotta love this insight into our lives, huh? I am tired and he's drunk. Hence this weird post. We have this exact conversation anytime he has more than 4 beers. Luckily, you are not physically here with us, so you don't have to witness him grabbing my boobs and "massaging" (read: man-handling them like he's tenderizing a steak) them, which causes me to slap his hands away and tell him to leave me alone.

This inevitably leads to another slurring rant about how I don't like him and his theoretically small wiener. Only this time, since my stalker (yes, the same stalker) tried to friend me AGAIN on myspace today, he now follows it up with, "You probably want Sylvester's wiener!! I know it!!"

UGH.

This is actually a perfect intro for what I want to talk about today. I knew that since CN and I have always gotten along extremely well (it's kind of unreal, actually, how well we get along) that ...

"No, I am not blogging lies about you," I just yelled to him.

Negative mumblings from the couch.

"Yes, I do love you," I continue. Please go back to talking to Paula Abdul, I think to myself.

Where was I? Oh yes. I knew it would go pretty well, this whole moving in together thing. I knew we would not have any major problems. And we don't. But the devil's in the details, you know? Here are some things I have learned about him since this whole moving thing has taken place:

1. He gives new meaning to the label "pack rat". He makes me look like an amateur. I told him I'd help him pack up his stuff/get rid of stuff he doesn't want anymore. So we go to Columbia for the weekend to get started on packing his stuff. 15 garbage bags full of trash later, he realizes he doesn't have as much stuff as he thought and I realize he hasn't thrown anything away since the 12th grade. Who keeps notebooks full of notes from college classes????!!

2. He is apparently incapable of closing a shower curtain when he's done taking a shower. This irks the crap out of me, because you might as well tell Mr. and Mrs. Mildew to just sit down and make themselves comfortable on your plastic...

"No I don't! Your wiener is not small and ugly! I love you very much and I am not telling lies about you! Your wiener smells fine!! I'm not telling anyone that!"

Ok, anyway, you get what I'm saying about the wet shower curtain.

3. Did you know that the phrases "resealable packaging" and "to prevent them from drying out" are lost on some people? Yup. My boyfriend is one of them. Baby wipes, cleaning wipes, you name it. Left open to the air. Worthless.

4. He owns approximately 587 towels. Somewhere there is a 20 year old son of a cotton industry magnate, driving his own BMW paid for by my boyfriend's towel collection.

5. Did I mention that he only uses the towel once before they are "dirty"? Which is funny to me, because he only uses them to dry off his squeaky clean body when he gets out of the shower, which will soon be full of mildew, thanks to his inability to understand the concept of fungi. If you are doing the math, this is at least 7 "dirty" towels per week from him. This makes him a complete freak, in my book.

I am not singling out my boyfriend, though. Oh yes. I am also dealing with some harsh reality of self-reflection:

1. The discussion we had about Absurd Overusage of Bath Towels and Their Laundering made me realize that I had no earthly idea how long it had been since I had pulled out a clean towel for myself. If he's the freek, I'm the gross one. I don't know which is worse.

2. I am a little more possessive -- ok, selfish-- about my stuff and my space than I thought. I *ahem* haven't made much room for him in the closet. But only about 10% of his wardrobe needs ironing, whereas about half of mine does. Ok, maybe a third. Yes, his clothes are on the floor of the bedroom right now. In semi-organized piles. Yes, I am a jerk. But I have a plan and a day off, so things will change for him soon. And CN went to grab some pop tarts the other day, and I said, "Nonononononono!!! Those are for work day breakfasts only! It's one of the few things I can eat at my desk!!!" -- Seriously? I am telling this to my 30 year old boyfriend, who not only washed all 587 of his "dirty" towels, but also my dirty clothes? AND folded them? I am telling him that he can't have a pop tart? Was I even listening to myself?

3. Why. The. Fuck. Do. I. Have. So many. Damn. Shoes. Jesus tapdancing Christ, did they reproduce in the U-Haul on the way down here? I remember looking at my old closet and thinking, "Gosh, 70 pairs isn't really that many. I could totally get more shoes. I have collection gaps, definitely." And now, I want to chuck them ALL because I am sick and tired of trying to store them creatively.

Ok, I'm sure there are more things I could add to this list, but let's face it, my self-critiquing skills are not exactly well-honed. And this is my blog. I told him to get his own, where he can bitch about how messy I am and how I don't seem to understand that expiration dates on food are for safety, not gambling with food, or as I like to call them, "adventures in eating". But he doesn't listen.

Besides, now it's time for me to give you the Ghetto Update.

Last Sunday afternoon, I was at work. (Yes, now I get to work occassional Sundays. I don't want to talk about it.) CN calls me. He was looking out the back window of our place, where he saw a group of teenagers sitting on our back stoop. This would only be mildly irritating, because it's just some harmless trespassing, except for the simple fact they were PASSING AROUND A HANDGUN. Which was the reason he was calling me.

"That's it. We are moving out. It's final. This is the last straw," he said.

I agreed, but questioned why he was talking to me and not a local 911 emergency dispatcher.

"Oh. Cuz they left already," he said.

GAH.

And to add rainbow colored candy sprinkles to this ice cream sundae from hell that is our living situation, Sammy has been bringing home fleas from our walks. So this place is a ticking time bomb, probably full of cazillions of little jumping, biting fuckers, marinating in their little wicked egg cocoon pods, counting down the moment until they get to microscopically turn our bodies into Swiss cheese.

Must. Move. Soon. Please. Send. Help.

I'm Alive!

Alright, I'm sure I am now down to two readers, but that's what I get for being MIA for a month, right? Oh well. I was thinking about making this blog public again, anyway.

Let me try and summarize the last month:

My new job, like all jobs, has its good things and its bad things. I like my boss and the girl who works for me a LOT. They rock, actually. A lot of my coworkers are cool, too. Like everywhere, though, I have to deal with a couple of douchebags, like this one lazy guy who balks at helping anyone else out and Miss Passive Aggressive, who loves to come down to my office and imply that I am incompetent and/or inflexible with the schedule (this is because I will not make everyone else work around her schedule). Of course, she does this under the guise of being "concerned". Argh. If there is one type of person I don't get along with, it's passive aggressive types. That kind of behavior irks the crap out of me.

My department, which was at 75% capacity, has recently been reduced to 50% capacity with the resignation of this one girl who worked for me. I tell you what, though, she was good riddance. She did nothing but create more work for me an the other girl in my department. But her leaving means she and I have to do a LOT more work, so I will be slammed at work until further notice: working extra nights, extra Sundays, teaching extra classes....oh well. Hopefully we will find a replacement soon.

But that's all well and good. Normal stuff that is to be expected. What is really bizarre is how uber-controlling this school is. Maybe it's because I am used to working in the public sector, but I feel like I am a member of the Savannah Mafia or something. Actually, it's more like a Nazi regime. My first realization came when I had to deal with the Communications Dept. Now, I understand that the school wants to have an "image" and I completely grasp and support the notion of "branding". But to tell me that I cannot print out a flyer that would -- gasp! -- help students find something in the library because that's not the "look" they want in the library is pretty ridiculous. Last time I checked, it's pretty difficult to operate a library without any frigging signs or information for its users.

Now, this goes for everything. Signs, handouts, flyers, bookmarks we make -- everything has to get "approval" from about 3 people. Then it has to be designed by someone else (who has no idea how I need it to look in order for it to work). This process takes three weeks. If I'm lucky.

This is the same department who printed up my business cards and told me I had to pick them up at their office. The stupid part is that they are open the same times I am at work. So that meant I had to go pick them up on my lunch break. Fine. Whatever. Screw interoffice mail, right? So I spend half my lunch break walking over there, only to be informed that they have sent the cards to the library already, via interoffice mail. "Well, don't you think that as the Communications Department, you should have communicated that to me before I spent my lunch break walking all the way over here?" I said. The girl just stared back at me and blinked. I turned and walked out.

The IT department is just as bad. I am not allowed to download so much as a plugin on my computer without -- again -- getting approval and submitting forms. Heck, I can't even pick my own desktop background or screensaver. I have to use theirs. If I want Microsoft 2007 installed on my computer, I have to submit an approval form, get approved, then attend a mandatory 3 hour training session, and then they would install it on my computer. Are. You. Kidding. Me.

It took me 3 weeks to get a key to my office. Three weeks! It was just sitting around somewhere. All I had to do was sign for it. Sounds simple, right? Not really. It was held in a building so far away that I had to drive to it. And, as usual, the building was only open during the same times I have to be at work. So I had to scramble over there, the whole time wondering, "Why don't they just keep the library keys in the library, since that's where they are just going to be going to anyway??" I tell ya, the state agency I used to work for aint' got shit on the major inefficiencies going on at this private school.

I still haven't gotten my code for the photocopier (each person gets a personal code, which is odd to me, as it seems a departmental code would be sufficient) or my code for dialing long distance on my desk phone. This also is odd to me, as it's the type of phone which operates over an internet connection, so there is no such thing as a long distance number. I soon realized that this is because they want to know what numbers I am calling. Whoa.

But Big Brother goes far, far beyond my little long distance code. If you are a new employee, you are often put in touch with a particular real estate company -- they have some sort of a deal worked out. This seems like a potential conflict of interest to me. I have heard that they also have their fingers in other pies: with the police force, with city concil...

If you do a google search for my school, you will find absolutely nothing negative about it. Not a blog, not a news article, not a press release. Everything out there is positive. Don't you think that is kind of odd? Especially when the girl who had my job before me sued the school for firing her improperly? (I have yet to find out why this woman was fired. No one is giving me a legitimate answer. It sounds very fishy to me.) And the guy who used to have my boss's job was fired for stealing thousands of dollars worth of items from the library? Or that last week the president's husband, who is the CEO or something for the college, was brought up on embezzlement charges or something? And that there was a group of students who sued the school, too? How the hell is this stuff not reaching the press???

The only thing I have found that even hints at being negative is an interview between the local paper and the president of the school a couple years back. The reporter asks if she thinks the school has moved past all its problems in the early '90s. She doesn't want to talk about it. She just says she wants to focus on the future. I have no idea what all these problems were in the early '90s. Neither does anyone else -- almost everyone at my library is new. Apparently, when the last director was busted for stealing a bunch of shit, a lot of people went down with him. They bascially cleaned house. Only a couple of people made it out of the fray -- and one of them was demoted in the process. And of course, the old timers aren't saying a word about what really went down. So to say there's been a lot of turnover is putting it lightly. (And as you can imagine, makes everything that much more difficult for the new people -- we are all trying to fix departments that have been screwed up for some time.)

Anyway, that's a glimpse into the type of work environment I am dealing with. I'm sure there will be more. I will share with you then.

Let's talk about the rest of things in my life. I havent' been blogging, because I can't afford to have internet at my place, and let's face it: I would be pretty stupid to blog from work in this job. But CN is moving in very soon (the 2nd week of April!!), so we will get it then. Yay!

As far as my apartment goes....it sucks. I have very little storage and a lot of wasted square footage. Since the house is old, it doesn't heat or cool evenly, leaving me shivering on the couch most of the time. (MJ got me a snuggie, which rocks for this particular problem!) And since the windows are old, any noise made outside sounds like it is actually inside.

Which brings me to my neighborhood. Thus far, I have had to deal with the college kids next door who like to throw parties in their backyard. This would be totally fine with me if their backyard was not underneath my bedroom window and if they threw their parties on nights when I didn't have to go to work the next day. The morning of St. Patrick's Day (my only day off from work until further notice), I was awoken at 6:50am by firecrackers just outside my bedroom window. WTF. I got up, jerked up my window blinds, and scared the crap out of the college kid next door. I yelled, "Can you please stop that?!!!" He gave me a deer-in-headlights look and apologized profusely and then went inside. (Yes, I heard what he said. That's how much I can hear through these old windows.) He's lucky I didn't kick his ass for throwing a kegger in his backyard only 2 nights previously. On a Sunday night. I ended up sleeping in my bathroom that night -- it's the only quiet room in my place.

But this is child's play compared to the other stuff I have had to deal with. There have been fist fights in the street, drunk people yelling at all hours of the night, domestic violence disputes, all kinds of crazy and loud noises, lots and lots of sirens, a car chase, trash thrown in my yard and my own personal favorite: the gunshots in my backyard the other night. Yeah, my neighborhood is super fun.

I have to say, though, that the cops have a really great response time. It's impressive, actually. I know, because I peek out of my window blinds when stuff happens, and I dont' stop looking until a cop shows up. And when the cops arrive, it's not just one car. It's like, four. So that does make me feel a little bit better. But not much.

I do not go outside when the sun goes down. I might go to Target or something, but never late. and I definitely can't take walks or anything like that after it gets dark. That would be a really bad idea. Have you ever had to live like that? Let me tell you what, you feel like a prisoner. For the most part, I get home from work and do not go back outside until I leave for work the next day. It is stressful and boring and frustrating.

I know it all sounds negative, but I do love seeing all the beautiful buildings and I love walking to/from work. During the daytime, it's totally safe, even in my neighborhood. And most of my problems with my neighborhood have more to do with noise than safety. I am getting used to the noise, and the sound machine CN got me helps, too.

As soon as either CN or I can find a renter for our house(s), we are moving to a safer and quieter neighborhood. A house with enough room for both of us and storage for our stuff. And electrical outlets. (I have one outlet in my living room. It is a royal pain in the ass.) And a backyard, rather than an alley full of dirt and overflowing trashcans.

It is probably no surprise to you that I have been wondering if I made the right decision. But I think I will end up really liking my job and liking Savannah. I think that like some first dates, you just get off on the wrong foot. I've gotta give it a second chance. And that will take some time.

Thanks for reading, guys. I will hopefully be back to blogging on a more regular basis soon.

Catch You on the Flip Side

Hey, guys! Well, I have been packing my brains out all week. I tell ya, I remember the good ol' days when I was in college, and I didn't have any furniture, and all my stuff fit into 10 large boxes. I didn't even need help to move.

Now, it's an entirely different ball game! I am leaving to go pick up my U-Haul here in a few, but just wanted to post really quickly.

I have read all of your comments (they are all emailed to me), but I really don't have time to reply to all of them, other than to say thank you to all of you for your support. It's a little scary to have this much going on at once, and I'm worried I will f**k something up, but in a month or so, I think I'll be ok.

We still haven't heard when CN will get his job transferred down to Savannah so he can move in with me. Hopefully, it will be soon. We have been across the street from each other for a year and a half, so this will be a big adjustment for us.

If you remember correctly, I told him that we have to either be engaged or have a wedding date picked out before he can move in with me. Since the ring is still in Belgium, with my aunt, which makes proposing rather difficult, we went ahead and set a date: June 26, 2010. Which also happens to be my dad's birthday. I have always wanted to get married on his birthday, since he won't be there to walk me down the aisle.

So that is pretty exciting!!! It gives us time to save up and plan everything. Er, it gives my mom time to plan everything (she's already going into overdrive-control-freak mode). Once I get settled down in Savannah, I will start checking out wedding magazines, I guess. I dunno. Most of y'all are married. What do you recommend as far as how best to get started on planning? Any advice???

I don't know when I will be able to blog again. I have to see what my new job is like. Right now, at this job, I have tons of down time, so it's ok. But who knows what my new job will be like? I will try to get to the public library sometime so I can update y'all on stuff. But that might be a while. It would be great if CN could move in quickly -- he has a brand new, super-fast computer and I could blog from his all the time.

Anyway, we will see. Ok, guys. I gotta go. Wish me luck, and I'll get back to you (and catch up on your blogs!!) as soon as possible!

My New Home, Part 2

I was a little worried about the location of my new place in Savannah. There are certain roads you shouldn't live near if you want to feel safe, and I am a block away from one, and a block away from another. If I were one block east or south of where I am, I would be in an iffy part of town.

Keep in mind that the couple moving in above me won't be there for another 3 weeks after I move in. It will be just me and Sammy at first, all alone in the new place.

Math time!

One big, old empty house
living on the edge of the safe part of town
+ my overactive imagination
-------------------------------
= major panic.

Who knows an area better than the people who live there, right? I mean, after being in Columbia for 6 years, I can tell anyone where to live and where to avoid. So I hit up some Savannah message boards to gather some opinions about the level of safety I could expect.

EVERY person (there were about 10) who replied told me that if I can get out of my lease, I should. The phrases "not a good area at all" and "I would not want my daughter to live there" and "wouldn't be able to find a less desirable location if you tried" were used. Oh dear. That's not good.

So last week, I basically freaked out and thought about breaking my lease. Or buying a gun. Or a very large German Shepherd with a nasty temper. Or a taser. Or something. Anything. All I could think was "I am alone, on the ground floor and it would not be very difficult to break into my house if you were a very large and very violent bad guy. I am toast. I might as well start preparing myself to be beaten up, robbed and gang-banged." After he stopped teasing me about being so paranoid, I made CN promise to stay with me for a few days once I move in.

Luckily, MJ calmed me down a LOT and reminded me that I will probably be fine and that there's no way to 100% avoid crime anywhere you live. She lived in a really REALLY bad part of town when she first moved to Columbia, and she had no problems. Just because you might live near some sketchy areas doesn't meat you're guaranteed to be a crime victim. And just because you're in a nice part of time doesn't mean you won't be a target, either. She said the message board people were probably trying to freak me out and all of them probably live in a cushy suburb somewhere. One man's ghetto is another man's "oh, this is fine."

And the most common crime in my part of downtown is car break-ins. (I looked it up on the police dept website) Which probably won't happen to me, because I drive a friggin Pontiac Vibe and all I keep in there are some scratched up CDs. I'm not much of a target.

So I asked my landlord if I could install some motion-detector lights, and he said yes. I asked MJ if I could borrow her super-scary chocolate lab mix, Nabisco. She said yes. I felt that would be good, but if I started to feel a little nervous, I would think about getting a taser or a home security system.

Yesterday, MJ and I went down to Savannah so she could see my place and I could start moving some of my stuff in, get my key, think about where my furniture will go, etc. Once we were all done, we took a walk, grabbed some lunch and came back to the house. We sat on the front steps and watched the neighborhood for a while. We didn't see anything scary or sketchy. It was actually very very quiet. We went back inside and were about to leave when we heard a commotion outside. It was a group of kids. Two of them were having a fist fight in the middle of the street! These kids were maybe in middle school. After a little noise, a bunch of people came outside to see what was going on, and one of the moms in the building across the street broke it up. It was maybe 30 seconds of craziness. No biggie.

I took advantage of the situation and introduced myself to a neighbor and began asking questions about the safety of the neighborhood. "You just witnessed the worst thing I've seen since I moved here," he said. WHEW! That was good to hear! "Everyone on this street expects everyone else to look out for each other," he continued. The street was about half renters, half owner-occupied. Which is a good mix, I think.

He introduced me to a few more neighbors, and they all said they felt fine living there. They had never seen any crimes or anything unusual or dangerous. The iffy-looking building across the street was full of low-income families -- lots of single moms with kids who never bothered anyone. They said I had nothing to worry about, as long as I don't do anything stupid (like leave my doors unlocked) or showy. (Not like I have any fancy gadgets to be showy with!) My house is surrounded by college kids with irregular schedules who throw house parties on the weekends. If their parents can sleep at night knowing their kids are ok, then I can, too.

So I feel a LOT better. But I'm still going to borrow one of CN's golf clubs and put up motion detector lights. Just in case.

My New Home

One more thing about ring info: so we were worried about getting the ring, which is currently in Belgium, over to the United States without paying major customs duties. Then my mom found out that her friend is vacationing in Europe in March. So my aunt is going to just meet up with her to give her the ring while she's on vacation. Problem solved! Yay!

Ok, on to other big news: my new place in Savannah. Last weekend, I went down to Savannah with CN to look at places. We stopped at a property management place to get keys so we could go check out some places.

"Ok, which properties do you want to go see?" the lady behind the desk asked.

"510 Price....203 E. Gwinnet..." I said, reading off their list of properties for rent.

As CN and I were figuring all of this out, a girl about my age walked in with her mom and her sister. They walked up to the desk and had the same conversation with the lady.

The girl recited the same addresses we did! We laughed about it, and then decided that hey -- we might as well carpool! So we all piled into CN's car (he has GPS, which came in very handy) and started looking at places. We had SO much fun! I learned that she is a newlywed whose hubby is going to be a student at the school where I'm going to be working. She's moving up from Orlando and is just a little bit younger than me. She and I really hit it off. She's totally adorable!

Most of the places were total dumps. I'm talking visibly slanted floors, back doors that literally do not close, washers/dryers in the middle of the kitchen, leaking ceilings, wobbly staircases, you name it. It began to be really funny and we all started just making fun of the places. Each one was worse than the last.

As we were finishing up looking at places, she said she had another appointment at 2pm to look at a place I hadn't heard about. I asked her if we could tag along, and she said sure. So after we split up for lunch, we met her at the 2pm appointment. The guy there showed us around here. While it was a lot nicer than anything else we'd seen that day, he could tell that none of us were blown away. They were a little cramped for my liking. And since they were new construction, I was a little let down. I really had my heart set on living in an old house.

So after showing us around, the guy said, "Ok, I was planning on trying to sell it as condos, but I'm not getting a lot of bites in this market. So would you like to see the house I bought and restored? I've decided to rent it out. It's not part of this organization. It's my own personal thing and it's a block from here."

"Sure!" we replied.

We walked down to a yellow house, built around the turn of the century. The bottom floor has a one-bedroom place for me and a 2 bedroom place for the other girl and her hubby. There's off-street parking and the rent was about $100 cheaper than other places on the same street. We are 4 blocks from Forsyth Park and about 2 blocks from the grocery store. I can still walk to work, too. Plus, it's JUST been re-done. No creepy bathroom or old appliances.

We walked in, I took one look at the gorgeous hardwood floors and the beautiful decorative fireplaces and the normal-sized kitchen (a rarity in downtown Savannah!) and shouted, "SOLD!"

The other girl took one look at the upstairs place and fell in love, too. So we are housemates! Isn't that so weird how we just randomly met like that??? And she is so cool!

What's even weirder is that this is not the first time this has happened to her! The last time she went apartment shopping, she met a girl in the rental office and they ended up being roommates and very good friends! They lived together for 6 years before she got married last year. The girl was even in her wedding! Very strange.

So we go back to the office to sign the leases with this guy, who is extremely nice. "Oh! I need to call and cancel my next appointment. I was going to go look at a house over on Lincoln street, but I guess I don't need to now," she said.

"Wait....1003 Lincoln St.?" I said.

"Are you the 4:30 appointment?" she asked.

"Are you the 4:00 one?" I asked.

We burst into giggles.

Anyway, here are photos of our house. I'm on the bottom, she's on the top. (Ooh, that sounds pervy! Tee hee!). I took photos of the inside, but they are on her camera, and I'm waiting for her to email them to me. This is all I have for now. The first one is the front of the house, the 2nd one is the back of it:
There's hooks on the ceiling of the front porch where we can hang a porch swing! Woo hoo!
And yes, he's going to landscape/pave this so it's not just dirt. Those 2 windows on the bottom floor are my kitchen.

Yay! We have been calling and messaging each other on facebook already. She likes to cook! And drink coffee! And she has a dog!

This is so awesome.

Or so I thought. Stay tuned....