RVA Should Stand for "Richmond: Very Awesome"

Greetings, readers! Flattered any of you are still here, as always. I have many many updates for you, as a lot has changed since my last post. I'll do my best to be brief. I think I am in love. I am in love with Richmond. I should have moved here YEARS ago. I have met so many great people, I get to see my family all the time and there's always something fun to do here. It's a great size, there's great shopping and restaurants, there are lots of young people and so much to explore. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm done moving. I don't see myself leaving RVA any time soon. I'm so much happier here than I was in Savannah.

Have I talked about my job at all? I can't remember. I don't like my job. I miss my old job in Savannah. I had things to do there. I felt like I was with a team and we all had projects and ideas to work on together. Here....not so much. I strive to fill my day with something, anything. The work is not challenging at all (seriously, you could have a high school diploma and do what I do at this gig). I spend most of my day totally alone, which does NOT work for me, because I'm a social person. I don't really supervise anyone, even though technically I am supposed to. First of all, the people I supposedly supervise don't need me because no one uses our library. We can go for days at a time when no one even comes in. Second of all, my boss signs their time sheets and approves their leave, leaving me with nothing to use for ammo when it comes to supervising them. I really like my boss as a person, and she likes me, but I don't think she's a very good supervisor. I don't think she likes being the supervisor, either. There are so many things I could say about this job -- I am just scratching the surface, honestly. I should devote a whole post to it one day. I don't mean to complain, as I am grateful for this job, and it is extremely low-stress, but as a good friend of mine stated when I was describing my new job to her: "Wow, what a complete waste of your talents and abilities." It's not that this is a bad job. It's just not a good fit for me. I plan on changing careers with my next job. To what? I have no idea.

One of the things that is kind of awesome about this new job, though, is that for the first time in my life (yes, since my first job at age 15), I do not work nights or weekends. This, combined with the barely-40 hours a week and the low stress levels of this job means I can really focus on getting back in shape and my social life, which is what I want to do in a new town anyway. Yipee!! (I have already lost about 15 pounds. WOOT!)

After a few months of loneliness/dating douchebaggery, I found a group just for women in their 30s. There was a happy hour event in March, so I went, halfway dreading it because I was worried they'd all be married mothers and I'd end up getting invited to baby showers (no offense to any mothers reading, but attending baby/wedding showers stopped being fun for me about 6 years ago. They only serve as reminders of how I am not where I want to be at age 33. But don't get me wrong -- I am happy for you. I just want to mail a card instead. Is that ok?). So I get to this happy hour event, and end up sitting next to a group of girls who are all my age, all single/childless/never married AND most of them just moved back to Richmond after living away for some time. Ding ding ding! We have a winner! 4 of us really hit it off, and we've been hanging out ever since. They are so much fun and it's so awesome to see that you're not the last single 33 year old woman in the world. Every time this group gets together, we meet more cool girls, so my social circle is expanding all the time. Sweet!!!

But I am not just relying on them for my social life. There are daughters/sons of friends of my mom who I have been meeting, too. I met with one of them for after-work drinks the other day. I was especially excited to meet with her, because I hadn't seen her since I was in about 8th grade, I was told she's super fun and also because The Czarina told me she would have good career advice for me. And she did! But what I wasn't expecting was that she's also all about fixing people up. Score! A few minutes into our conversation, she asked me if I'm single. I nodded. "You have to meet ____." I asked her to tell me about him.

He sounds awesome! Smart, kind, funny, attractive, no kids/ex-wives, owns his own home, from Richmond, close to his family but not too close, has a good job, he's the same age as me.....so why wasn't SHE interested in him? After all, she's 33 and single, too. "He's not my type. I can see why people would say he's attractive, and he is. But I'm not attracted to him. He's like a brother to me. I've known him for years and years."

"So why is he single?" I asked. There had to be a catch.

"Well, he was engaged about a year or two ago. Then, out of nowhere, she broke it off. He was pretty crushed, because he didn't even see it coming. Actually, none of us saw it coming. Then he dated this other girl for a while, and she ended up getting back with her ex....so he's had a rough go of it."

"Poor guy. He sounds great, though. Sure, fix me up," I said.

"Ok, let's do this right now," she said, getting out her phone.

"Like, right now? Do I have time to brush my hair?" I asked.

She laughed. "No, I mean like let's set it up right now." She began texting him. "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Ok, he's free, too. You're meeting him here tomorrow at 7," she stated matter-of-factly.

And just like that -- BOOM -- I had a blind date.

We have our second date tonight. I'm really excited. I'll tell you all about him in my next post....that's all for now, kids. I have to get ready for the gym!

Cougars -- RAWRRRR!!!

So far, I am really liking my new position at work. I get to tackle problems I've always wanted to work on, help my coworkers do better at their jobs and learn how to manage people better. It's been great so far, and I'm getting a lot of positive feedback.

I'm just not getting any money for it. *grumble*

What they are going to do is give me a bonus when I'm no longer in this interim position. If the new Big Boss decides to officially give me my title, they will give me the bonus and also up my pay. If the new Big Boss decides to not give me the title, I will go back to my previous position and just get a bonus. Then I will immediately look for a new job, because hello! That's a pretty clear message. But I think I will hopefully get it. *knocks on wood* I'm not too upset about this situation, because I'm doing this more for the experience than the pay. I need this promotion on my resume.

I don't know when Big Boss's position will get filled, though. They are bringing in candidates left and right, but all we get to do is give them a tour -- we are not involved in the interview process. I am not a fan of this system, but it's out of my control. The odd thing is, our HR person randomly emailed one of my staff and asked them to sit in on one of the interviews (not all of them, just one of the interviews. As she is really new, this is really odd to both of us. She's trying to encourage HR to ask me to do it instead, as I'm the more logical person to be there (not to toot my own horn, but I am).

And I can't outright fire The Gorilla, but I can assure you I am all up in his beeswax! He was demoted and is now under the new girl, and he keeps telling her that he hates his job and "can't take it anymore" and is looking for a new job. HR told us that the next time he says it, we can consider it his verbal resignation and they will back us on it!

Alright, enough about work. Let's talk about something more fun...like my dating life. No, really, I honestly have an update! It turns out I am not dead! I had a blind date about a week ago. First date in a year and a half. WOOT! Backstory: I have a friend whose mission in life is to get me a man. I do not argue with this. She randomly calls me with potential guys in mind, and our conversations go like this:

Fixer-Upper: Hey, VB, what's your age limit on older m--
Me: None. Don't care.
Fixer-Upper: You're sure? Cuz he's--
Me: Don't care. Give him my number.
Fixer-Upper: Ok, cool! I'll tell him to call you.

I did veto a date with at 22 year old, mostly because that honestly just feels illegal. But I did say yes to one of her ideas, and so I messaged him on facebook. (You should be clapping right now, because I do NOT NOT NOT make first moves. But Fixer-Upper is the type of person who would nag me incessantly if I didn't do something to meet this guy, so I did it to get her off my back.)

Long story short, I was on a blind date the next night. Here are the stats: 26, tall, cute, works 3 jobs (one of which is being a fireman -- hawt), has a dog, former military guy (for some reason, military guys are always into me. Not sure why.), is a Christian....so all in all, a good package. Also, he doesn't drink, which is a nice change of pace. I was more hung up on the age thing than he was. I have never dated someone this much younger than me. He was just starting middle school when I was in the 12th grade. It's kind of weird. Honestly, I would feel more comfortable with someone who has more life experience than me. Call me old-fashioned. He's very sweet, and we had good conversations and a decent amount of stuff in common, but I also kinda wish he was a little funnier and more cerebral. (WHERE are all the smart, funny, well-educated men in this world????) But he's a good person and cute enough to make out with, so I would probably give him another shot.

Although he told our mutual friend that he's into me, he hasn't called me. Fixer-Upper wants me to call him, but I refuse. I set up the first date. If he wants to see me again, he knows where to find me. *dusts off hands*

Meanwhile, St. Patty's Day is right around the corner. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, or if any of you have heard, but we have a MASSIVE St. Patty's Day festival here every year. It's the 2nd biggest east of the Mississippi. This is the day that the rest of Savannah's year pivots around. We even have a big countdown clock for it. (I highly recommend it, btw, because you can walk around with open containers here in Savannah and we have a ton of bars! You're all invited!)

The cool thing is, this year, for the first time, I live on the parade route!!! Although the parade starts at 10am, everyone starts drinking earlier than that. So I'm having all my friends over for snacks and parade-watching and beer drinking. I can't wait! Then, I'm going to another friend's house for a dinner-time cookout. Then I'll hit the bars -- hello, cute vacationing single men!!!! Just so you know, I am Irish!!!!

Speaking of cute, single vacationing men and St. Patty's Day, I texted New Year's Eve Guy to invite him to visit for St. Patty's Day. I figured, what do I have to lose, right? I thought he would not be into this idea or (worse) completely ignore my text, but that didn't happen. He said he can't go because he's attending another event this week, but he's definitely got Savannah on his wish list. Yes, he used the word "definitely". And I'm clinging to it!

I know I don't know him very well, but somehow, this guy totally got under my skin. Go ahead, laugh at me and my long-shot crushes. But there's just something about him that I am SO into. Probably because he's one of the funniest and most fun people I've ever met. *sigh* He's younger than me, too, although not by much. Did I mention he's super fun to make out with? *swoon*

Am I a cougar? Or some other feline species? Someone needs to set up an official, tiered system for cougars, snow leopards, cheetahs, et al. so I know what to call myself. This sounds like a job for Mystery.

In other cougar news, (yes, dear readers, there is more!) I was hanging out with my dad's ex-wife this past week (long story). She's 70 and looking for a place to retire. She wants to live in one of those all-inclusive resorts that have tennis, swimming, etc. She was telling me all about these complexes, and then she happened to mention that these retirement communities have major HIV epidemics in them!!!

Excuse me?

Well, it turns out that many of them are widowed, bored, popping Viagra like it's going out of style, not in the habit of using condoms, and so when you combine all of that together, you get...well, HIV problems. I didn't believe it until I did some research. Huh. Who knew.

I'm not one to end on a depressing note (I mean, who likes to think about Grandma humping her way through retirement? Not me, and I don't even have a grandma!) so I will leave you with one of my favorite MadTV clips. Lorraine was one of the first (and best!) cougars of all:

The Smitten Kitten

That would be me. *sigh!*

Warning: This post might make you barf a little. I'm going to be a little gushy, folks. Sorry.

I had a great weekend. Friday night was great! CN called me about an hour before we left to meet up with MJ & VW at The Hunter-Gatherer (a bar/restaurant):

"Hey, what are you wearing? I've never been to this place, before and I don't know what it's like," he asked.

"I'm wearing a dress, but you can wear whatever you want. I just wanted to wear my new shoes, and the only thing that went with them was this dress," I said.

"Ok, cool. Hey, I invited my friend The Runner to join us. Hope that's ok," he said.

"Sure! He can talk to KT, because she's a total gym rat, and she's coming, too," I replied.

"Ok, I'll pick you up soon," he said. We got off the phone.

A little while later, he knocked on my door. I was pleasantly surprised: without any prompting from me, he rose to the occasion and didn't wear his usual tshirt and jeans! He looked really nice! Yay! Brownie points for him!

We matched. Again. I swear, we always wear black. We look like we are going to funerals all the time. *rolls eyes*

We met up with MJ, VW and The Runner and had a very delicious dinner. KT joined us right before the band started. MJ, KT and I were the only ones familiar with Loch Ness Johnny, but the guys seemed to like it, too. After talking to the band members for a little bit after the show, we all went our separate ways.

I don't remember the details (Ok, maybe I just don't want to share them!) but CN and I hung out alone at my house for a little while until he went home. I'll let your imagination fill in the details. Wowza. I was definitely looking forward to watching the game with him the next day!

The next day, after cleaning up my house a little, going to the store to buy the ingredients for dinner and taking a nap, it was time for the USC vs. LSU game. CN came over and we began to watch the game as we snuggled on the couch.

I don't really know what happened during the second half...because we didn't watch it.....

So then I started on dinner (Chinese beef and broccoli) while he told me funny stories. You should have seen how he wolfed his food down! He was entirely too excited about dinner! "This is the way to get on my good side!" he said. (I made note of this for future reference.)

After dinner, we watched Borat, which is hysterical if you haven't seen it yet. By the time it was over, we were both pooped, so we called it a night.

I wasn't planning on seeing him on Sunday, but he texted me during the afternoon to see if I still needed help with my weed eater. "Yes, I can't get this one part on," I replied. He said he'd come over and look at it.

The next thing I know, he has assembled it correctly and proceeds to begin mowing my backyard! "You don't have to do that!" I yelled, over the noise of the weed eater. He turned it off.

"I know. I want to," he replied.

Aw.

"Now that is how you get on MY good side!" I exclaimed, laying a big smooch on him, despite the fact he was very sweaty and covered with bits of grass. He told me to go back inside so he could finish up. I gave him another smooch.

Not surprisingly, this scene led to a joke between us about my affair with "the gardener". LOL

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. He earned SO many brownie points with this move. "CN is mowing my yard right now, no questions asked. What a keeper!" I texted to all my girlfriends.

Afterwards, he left to go shower and meet up with The Runner to watch an NFL game, and I went to the local Greek Festival with MJ & KT. It was so freaking hot that we didn't stay very long -- we were melting! I went home after eating my gyro.

By this point, I was exhausted and was planning on watching a movie until bedtime. I popped in Blades of Glory and dozed in front of the tv. I wished CN had been there to watch tv with me, but he was still watching the game with his buddy. "Oh well, I've seen him enough this weekend, I guess," I thought. I fell asleep. I woke up to a text message.

"The Falcons lost again. I'm heartbroken," CN said.

"Do you need me to console you? Is this a dire emergency?" I asked.

"Yes! A dire emergency! You should come over," he said.

Cool, he read my mind, I thought.

"I'm really glad you came over," he said when I got there. "I missed you."

"I'm glad you wanted me to come over. I missed you, too," I said.

"Sorry. I've had a few beers. I'm going to be corny right now," he explained as he popped in a DVD. (Note to self: encourage him to drink beer more often.)

To avoid making my readers sick to their stomachs, I won't tell you what else he said. But I will say that we didn't watch much of that movie, either.

He's so sweet, so thoughtful, so funny. I think I'm a goner, guys. This one's a keeper, for sure.

So it's going really well. Now I know what everyone was talking about when they told me to start dating nice guys. :)

CNN

Cute Neighbor News. Get it? Har har.

Thanks to all of you who left advice for me on the last post! I don't like being involved in stuff like that, so I will just try to keep out of it as best as possible. Hopefully that will be the end of my involvement.

You have all been waiting patiently for a CN update. I have to admit, I have been stalling out of paranoia. You see, I am worried he will find this blog. Last Saturday, we were out with a group of friends, and the subject of myspace came up. If you are familiar with myspace, you know that you can have a little blog on there. "Do you have a blog?" he asked me.

Oh.

God.

"No...." I trailed off, quickly changing the subject to something else.

Great. I just lied to him. This is just perfect. First I tell him I have food poisoning when I really didn't, and now this. Ugh. I am getting a pit in my stomach just thinking typing this. I don't like lying and I'm terrible at it, too. So who knows if he even believed me???

But what else was I supposed to say??? "Yes, I do, and I talk about you on it all the time. Feel free to check it out so you can learn about how much of a total freak I am!"

As if this wasn't bad enough, long ago I stupidly set my myspace URL to the same name as my blog pseudonym, Virginia Belle. (And yes, I know you are all going to go and myspace stalk me now. Go ahead. I'll wait. It's private, anyway, so don't get too excited.) Anyway, if you Google my pseudonym, my blog pops right up. Oh boy. I do NOT want him reading this. I learned the hard way last time about telling guys you date about your blog. Never again!!

I would not really be worried about this if it weren't for the fact that he does background checks for a living. So he's paid to be a stalker. He probably has all of the research skills that I have. Is it only a matter of time before he thinks to Google my myspace URL pseudonym? Aaaarrrgh. I feel so stupid right now. Instead of being the hunter, now I am the hunted. Getting a taste of your own medicine is always a bitter pill to swallow.

I have some choices. Deleting my myspace and starting a new one would be waaaayy too obvious. I could make this blog invitation only, which would mean no more new readers. I could delete all of the CN posts. I could edit my blog to make it look like it's not ME, but some other girl who happened to use the same pseudonym. I could make it say that I'm a sales rep who lives in Colorado or something. I could even just end this blog and start a new one. Or, I could just hope for the best and continue about my merry way. What do you think? Am I being paranoid? I need help, guys!

I am trying not to think about it. So let's just move on for now. I know you want some scoop. I will warn you that this will probably be kind of gushy. So suppress your gag reflex for the time being. I will do the same.

First off, every time he and I hang out, we have great conversations and he usually has me in stitches. The guy is hilarious. Example: a text message conversation we had yesterday, after the cable guy came over to his house.

CN: The cable guy thinks you're hot. He saw you walking the dogs.
VB: OMG, don't tell me that!
CN: He was all about me hooking him up. He wanted me to give you his number: xxx-xxx-xxxx
VB: Yesss! Now I can get free cable! Thanks, CN!
CN: Just kidding. Alright, I will pay your cable bill if you don't go out with him.
VB: Ok, FINE! Gah!

And did I mention he's got dimples?? Oh man, am I a sucker for dimples....they are like kryptonite.

He and I met up with MJ and her boyfriend, VW for trivia night recently. We had a good time, although we sucked at trivia! CN wanted to do it again tonight, but I already have plans.

Saturday night, we went bowling with MJ & VW and Mr. & Mrs. Bill. There were a few more people there as well. We all had a really good time, especially MJ, who beat the crap out of us. And since she won't give me a straight answer, I will never know if MJ and VW were working behind the scenes to encourage CN to make out with me or not. As if I am not shy and nervous enough, I have to deal with meddling friends. Yeesh. After bowling, we all wanted to go to IHOP, but it was packed, so the group split up. CN and I decided to go to a Waffle House in our neighborhood instead.

When our waffles came out, the waitress neglected to give us any syrup. There was some syrup on a shelf nearby, but I didn't want to touch them because the handles were all sticky and goopy. I was willing to wait for the waitress to give us some syrup that wasn't sticky. I explained this to CN, and he stood up, grabbed one of the sticky syrups and said, "Tell me when." -- and then he syruped my waffle for me! Aw. Bonus points for him. I thought that was so sweet. Not too many guys are willing to syrup your waffles for you, you know?

As he walked me to my door, he said that he wants to take me out alone sometime, because we have been doing nothing but group dates. Ca-ching! More points. He totally read my mind. Unfortunately, there was still no smooching going on by this point. I guess I just wasn't feeling it. I'm not keen on kissing in public or in front of my friends. And I hate having a first kiss on my doorstep. It makes me feel like I'm on stage. I don't like it. So although I could tell he wanted to, I bolted inside at the end of the night.

MJ, of course, wanted juicy smooching details the next morning, but I disappointed her yet again. By this point, MJ was totally annoyed with the both of us, and nagging me incessantly to get on with it. "I'll do it! Lay off, already!! He's shy and it makes me feel shy in response!" I said defensively.

The next day, I was puttering around my house when he asked me if I wanted to go to Steak n Shake for dinner. Mmmmm!!! Burgers and milkshakes!!! Twist my arm!! Unfortunately, when we got there, we learned that tragically, Steak n Shake has closed down. After briefly grieving for the loss, we went to another burger place, where we had more fantastic conversation. Actually, I kinda hogged it, and he let me. More bonus points for him...

When we got home, it was still early, so he invited me over to watch a movie. We settled on Pan's Labyrinth, which ended up being AWESOME. It is one of the best movies I've seen in years. And he got more bonus points for putting up with one of the most annoying things about me: I am one of those people who talks throughout movies. I know, I know. It's so irritating. But I yell at the characters and critique the movie the whole way through. Aside from some much deserved teasing, he let me get away with it. Wow. He got a lot of points for that one.

His house was totally freeeeeeeezzzzing, and so he tucked a blanket around me and turned the air down. Then he said I could snuggle up to him to stay warm, which I did. Aw. He smelled good. Yay!

As he walked me back to my front door, he said he has not been coming over, because he doesn't want to be "that guy". I told him that was good, and that I was doing the same thing, because I didn't want to be "that girl".

"Oh, no, you can totally be that girl," he replied. Aw.

Ugh, this post is making me barf a little. Sorry. I'm trying not to gush. I'll stop, because I'm annoying myself at this point.

But he is a good kisser. :)