My New Home, Part 3

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? How about bad.

You know how when you leave a job, you usually get to cash in your unused vacation time? Ok, well I just went to HR today to do the whole exit procedure stuff and I found out that instead of getting to cash out what I thought would end up being 19 days of vacation time, I will only get to cash out 6. Without going into all the details as to why, I will just say that I do not accrue vacation time at this job. I have a designated amount that I have to use up by the end of the year (our year runs from July - June). So I really shot myself in the foot by showing up to work all these past months. In fact, if I had used up all my vacation time by now, I would still be able to cash in on those 6 particular days.

So to say I'm disappointed is putting it lightly. I am kind of pissed. Plus, I could have really used the money from cashing in 19 days. But at least I get 6. Oh well.

But the good news is, since I can't cash it in (ie, take it with me, so to speak), I might as well use up as much of it as I can before I go. So I'm taking off most of the rest of the week. Which works out pretty well, considering I have umpteen things to do before I move on Saturday.

Alright. Enough of that. I wanted to share pics of the interior of my new place w/y'all. I created a virtual floorplan on floorplanner.com (free!) so you can see the layout of my place.

I went ahead and put in some virtual furniture, too, just to make it more realistic. Ok, so now that you have a feel for what it looks like, let me show you the photos. I'm showing you the pics in the order you'd see the rooms if you parked behind the house and enter thru the backdoor, which is the door I will be using for the most part. This first one is the dining and/or entryway. It will probably end up being CN's office. It's the first thing you see when you walk in the back door.
Next, to your right is the kitchen. I really like the cabinets -- each upper one has 4 shelves! I need that, since I have so much cooking stuff. The door you see is open -- that's where the pantry is. I heart pantries. Notice the lack of dishwasher. :(
If you are leaving the kitchen, this is what you see.
Going back through the entryway, you next enter my living room, modeled here by the lovely MJ. Check out that fireplace! I am in love with my fireplaces. Yay for architectural/historical detailing!!! :) Boo for this room only having one electrical outlet. :( Although as I pointed out, this makes TV placement a no-brainer. LOL! I will be putting my couch under the window, because the TV has to go in the opposite corner.
Next, you proceed to the bedroom. Gotta love those gorgeous floors and the big picture window. I think I will put my bed under it.
The other side of my room has a nice-sized closet, again modeled by the lovely MJ. As you can see, she's as excited about it as I am. And no, I am not prepared to share this closet with CN. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Still need to figure out where to put 60 pairs of shoes.....hmmmm....
The other corner has my bedroom fireplace. This is a close-up. Both of my fireplaces are original to the house--only the tile surround is new. But only the bedroom fireplace has the original mirror as well.

Alright, now if you were to come in through the front door instead of the back door, you would be entering my hallway. The doors on the right are as follows: bedroom, living room, and then straight ahead is my bathroom (you can see my sink and shower/tub combo -- the toilet is to the left, but you can't see it in this shot). The door on the left is the laundry area, of which I forgot to take a photo. So use your imagination.

Continuing down the hall, you will enter the bathroom, part of which is pictured here. Yay for linen closets!!!

And last but not least, here's a cool shot. If you were to stand on my front porch, facing the street, and look to your right, here's what you would see:

I love how all the porches line up like that. I think it is so cool and old-fashioned. The house closest is where the students live. I mentioned them in the last post.

Alright, I also dug up some photos I took when CN and I went to Savannah last fall. Better late than never, right? It's funny what you find when you decide to finally put all your pics onto your computer. :P
This is a really cool drain spout I saw in Savannah.
Savannah has buildings from just about every time period and architectural style.
It will take me months before I pick out my favorite house in town.
It was love at first sight when it came to the trees. Live oaks grow very large, and the branches are very gnarled and arching. Throw in some Spanish moss hanging from the trees like cobwebs, and it's basically impossible to shake the romantic, spooky and fairy-tale-like aura of the town.
This is The Olde Pink House. It was originally a home built in the late 1700s, but now it's a restaurant. It's haunted. Trivia fact: it was not meant to be pink. They had red brick and covered it with white stucco, but the brick bled through, turning the stucco pink. But the name stuck, so they kept it pink.

Seriously, I can't stop taking photos of these trees, y'all.
This building is called the Cotton Exchange. I don't think there's much exchanging going on these days. It's currently vacant. On the other side of this building is the Savannah River. Lots of bars, tourist traps and restaurants, too.
This is City Hall. One of the nicest-looking city halls I've seen in a while. The dome was only painted gold in the last few years. It's really pretty in the sunshine.
You may know that downtown Savannah has a series of squares placed periodically throughout the blocks and rows of old homes. I think there are 24 of them, and it's really nice to break up the streets with mini-parks. These last 2 are photos from Chippewa Square, where a big statue of General Oglethorpe stands. He founded Savannah in 1733. Trivia fact: he is facing South, because Savannah was founded by the English as a way to defend its borders from the Spanish, who were in nearby Florida at the time. So he is turned to face his enemy.

If you want to know more about Savannah, here's info about its history, Gen. Oglethorpe and the Squares. You can also watch Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, which gives you a good feel for the city today, in addition to being a really good movie.

I Love Savannah

I just realized I haven't posted in a while. Oops!

In a nutshell, I have been busy with my family genealogy project and taking a trip to one of my favorite places, Savannah, GA.

To be more specific...

I have been emailing with my mother's cousin, who as it turns out, is the "keeper" of the family history on my mother's side. This part of my family were German immigrants living in Illinois and Missouri beginning in the 1860s. So she has emailed me TONS of stuff, and it turns out that my great-great-grandpa fathered THIRTEEN children. Wowza. She also emailed me a pdf file of a photo of the family, taken around 1905, which is SO FREAKING COOL, I have been staring at it all day. I wanted to post it here to share, but it's a pdf file, which Blogger does not support, and I can't figure out how to save it any other way. Anyway, here's the cool part: my mom's cousin (Debbie) is going to be mailing me a family history book she has put together!!! I can't wait for the UPS truck. It is seriously like Christmas for me.

I won't bore you with all the family history bits of info I have learned today, because I've probably already bored you enough. I know MJ is sick of me talking about it. After a lengthy and overly-excited text message about all of this to her, I received a one-word reply. Hmmm. Not exactly the reply I was hoping for.

"I need to find a genealogy buddy, dont' I?" I asked her.

"Yes. Please." was her reply, if I remember correctly.

So enough about that. I am quickly becoming aware of how genealogy can bore some people. If you want more, let me know. "Genies" can talk about it all day, you know. :)

I will now move this post in an entirely different direction, to a topic most people really enjoy: travel. I had to go to Savannah this past weekend for a conference. Oh, woe is me. ;) Since CN and I never really did anything for our one year anniversary, I decided to take him with me so we could sorta celebrate. I have funny CN stories to share, but today, I want to give you a review of what it's like to visit Savannah.

OMFG we had the best time. This was the 2nd time we had been to Savannah. CN went about 8 years ago for their huge annual St. Patty's Day festival, and I went about 3 years ago for another conference. It was so much more fun to go with someone -- last time, I had to eat and explore alone. I was too worried about getting lost to do much exploring at all that time. This seriously impacted my dining experiences. This time was much better!

We drove down on Thursday and had lunch at Belford's. Holy cow was that a fantastic lunch: crab cakes and a kobe beef burger topped with brie and carmelized onions. I was wondering why the crab cakes were so expensive, until I took a bite to find that they were 100% crab meat and covered in a super duper yummy lemony-garlic sauce. Mmmmm!!!

This was just the first of many delicious meals. We also ate at Lady & Sons, which is Paula Deen's restaurant. Although it is a tourist trap and overpriced, it does have the BEST fried chicken I have ever put in my mouth. I think they are battered in a mixture of flour and crack. So if you ever go, just get a big plate of fried chicken. Skip the rest. You will be glad you did.

Also on our culinary tour of Savannah: fantastic Thai at Ruan Thai on Broughton Street, and excellent Italian at Corleone's (I highly recommend the baked beef tortellini in marinara sauce).

We really didn't have a bad meal the whole time. Even a dive bar we stopped in had great fish and chips. You really can't go wrong in Savannah. And all the people are so friendly! Everyone wanted to know where we were from and what we were looking to do while in town -- where else does THAT happen??

All throughout the downtown/historic area, nestled between neighborhood parks and along Broughton Street, there are lots of really cool home decor stores, galleries and boutiques. I went to many of these stores. Let me tell you about my favorites. Kilwin's makes some of the best fudge I have ever had in my life -- toasted coconut with chocolate swirled into it. Holy cow, it was a flavor explosion of joy in my mouth. I still can't believe it's a chain. Red Clover, Bleu Belle and James Gunn had really cool (expensive!!) clothes and a very friendly staff. Zia's had amazing handmade jewelry. But by far, my favorite stores were the home decor stores: The Paris Market, which sold lots of vintage housewares and French imports and DC2 Designs, which reminded me of a Z Gallerie. But by far, my absolute favorite was called @ Home Vintage General Store. Cute stationery, office supplies, cookbooks, linens, baby gifts, picture frames, sewing notions and other decorative household goods, all with a vintage 1950s flair. Half the stuff in there WAS vintage -- board games, school suppiles, sewing stuff, etc. CN had to drag me out of there. I would get back in my car right now, just to drive down and visit this store again.

Savannah is one of the most haunted cities in America, and since CN and I are both big ghost story fans, a ghost tour was obligatory. We went on this tour, and our guide was a great story teller, as well as very knowledgeable about Savannah and the homes he was describing to us. He had even been inside and interviewed a resident of my favorite haunted house of the tour. It is located on East Charlton St. Here's a photo I found on Google Earth:


Do you see the big trash bin in front of it? That wasn't there when I saw the house, but it was probably there recently, because it is being renovated. Why is it being renovated? Because they cannot get anyone to live in it, so they are trying to spruce it up! Which is quite odd, because it's in a gorgeous and old neighborhood in Savannah's historic district. It's practically next door to one of Savannah's most prominent landmarks -- the Hamilton-Turner house (which is also haunted). You might recognize the Hamilton-Turner house from the movie, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. So why can't they get anyone to live in it? Because there's a poltergeist there! It opens the cabinets in the kitchen, moves the furniture in the living room and re-arranges the pictures on the wall. Anyway, the last people to live there left very suddenly, after only being there for less than a year. They were so freaked out, they didn't even take their furniture with them!!! It took them a year to work up the courage to come back for their stuff. That was in 1996. It's been vacant ever since. The house was listed at around $200k, the last time it was on the market. This is a total steal. If you're willing to live in a supposedly haunted house....where an old lady died in a bathtub....which may have been a suicide, because the woman had been talking to the ghost for many years...eek!!

And if you know anything about ghosts, you know that all renovations do is stir up more ghost activity, usually of the angry and violent kind. They probably should not be messing around in there, if you ask me. :)

Anyway, when the guide was telling us about this house, I got chills up my leg. Then, if we wanted, we could climb the steps and peer in the little window next to the front door (not visible in the photo above). Of course, I was all about this. But when I looked inside, I got an uber-creepy feeling and turned right around! This house totally gave me the creeps. Which only made me want to go back, of course!

But it will have to wait until next time, along with untested restaurants and unexplored shops. I can't wait until I can go to Savannah again.

The pervasive and excellent cuisine and shopping, combined with a laid-back and creative people (courtesy of the large art student population) and spooky atmosphere (Spanish moss, huge oak trees, witchcraft and haunted antebellum mansions have a tendency to create that) resulted in CN and I agreeing that Savannah is far, FAR cooler than Charleston.

Seriously, Charleston is the snobby, less-cool cousin of Savannah. Yes, that is how I would explain the differences in a nutshell. If you need a vacation recommendation, this one gets 5 stars from me!

Fashion and the City

This past weekend, I managed to squeeze in enough time to catch the Sex and the City Movie with MJ and her coworker JP. (Since KT moved back to NY, JP has been a super-fun replacement in our girl gang. Not that KT can be replaced, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I love making new friends, so it's always nice to see JP.)

After the movie was over, MJ & JP mentioned that they thought the clothes were ugly, outrageous and impractical. I, on the other hand, thought they were FANTASTIC. They are fun and irreverent. When I go to the movies, I want to escape my mundane life and pretend I have another life -- usually, the life of the heroine. I think this is why I like romantic comedies so much. My life can always use more laughter and love, as far as I'm concerned.

In the case of SATC, I love to watch it and pretend that

A) I live in NYC, my thus-far favorite place on Earth,
B) It is socially acceptable to wear outrageous haute couture clothing that is so artistic and unique, and
C) I have enough money to do both things.

So to say that I really enjoyed this movie is an understatement. It was like a wonderful, extra-long season finale episode. Now, ladies, if you haven't seen it yet, I promise I won't give any plot details away. But I have GOT to share these fabulous (and, admittedly socially outlandish) clothes with you!!!! Yes, I know they are silly and crazy. But I love them!!! I love how fun fashion can be. I love that fashion is sort of like art in motion. It's like a painting or a feeling that you can wear. I love how confident the women who wear these clothes are. I really wish I got to wear such crazy stuff all the time. And why not? Life is short. The way we dress is one of the few things we have control over in this life. It's just an outfit. It's temporary. Removable. Fun. We watch crazy things on tv. We eat crazy foods at exotic restaurants. Why not wear crazy clothes, too? Who's with me?

I think I am hearing crickets. *sigh* Ok, fine. I guess the cheese stands alone.

I know men don't "get" SATC and they think it's all man-bashing. And I know most people don't get the crazy clothes. Or the absurdity of the fact that a writer, living alone in NYC, can afford a designer wardrobe. But I am totally ok with suspending reality when I'm watching a movie. And I really enjoyed suspending reality for this one! So ladies, if you have been planning on seeing it, you've GOT to. It was a great movie, even if you are just a minor fan of the show. But I wouldn't go see it if I were a novice fan. You've got to understand the history of Carrie & Big, Miranda & Steve, Charlotte & Harry and Samantha & Smith so you won't get lost. Ok, enough about the movie. Let's look at the clothes!!!

Here were my faves:
Hello! How badly do I want a pair of zebra shoes like these now? LOVE how Carrie wears them with a red print and a sequin minidress. Great contrast.
Alright, everyone has been dissing the bird in her hair. But I think it's AWESOME. Very Carrie. And I love the color. So original -- who else wears feathers in their hair on their wedding day?? Almost like a hat. And I love women in hats. I want hats to come back!!
Miranda's blue dress might be the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. And Charlotte's roses are my favorite color.
Ok, I am not really feeling this green dress that much. But I do like the shoes! Gladiator stilettos?? I am woman, hear me roar! RAWR!!!
I have to admit, I could do without Samantha's shoulder pads. But I love everything else, especially Miranda's gold dress.
LOVE the dresses Charlotte and Miranda are wearing.
Gorgeous, gorgeous gorgeous. Another shot of Charlotte's bridesmaid dress.
Super fun dress. Love the hot pink with the belt. I'm not feeling the footwear, though...it's too much, even for me.
Freaking awesome dress. Yes, I know it looks like the flower is eating her face. But it's so dramatic. *sigh*
I'm pretty sure this dress is from a scene that was cut. But isn't it fantastic?? So feminine.

Now, unless you have seen the movie, you won't understand the significance of these blue satin Manolos, but aren't they just perfect??? I wish I had a pair. Note to self: buy pair of blue satin stilettos, despite the fact you have no outfit to wear with them.

Ok, fashion moment over. Back to reality. Brown pants. Ruffled aqua blouse. Flat, brown sandals. South Carolina. Yawn.

Happy 2008!

Hi, Everyone! Sorry I've been away so long. Some of you might know that I work for a school, so I get extra-long holiday vacations. Today is my first day back at work since my last post.

And yes, I have internet at home, but it's very slow and so I rarely post from there.

Thank you to everyone who send me Christmas/Holiday/New Year's wishes. Y'all are so sweet. I love my bloggy buds. I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday season full of yummy food, great presents and lots of love.

Ok, I have lots of news!!!! For the ease my readers, I will write this post in an imaginary interview way, so that all of your questions can be answered. In theory.

So, VB, how was your trip home to The Czarina's for Christmas?

Well, the good news is, I did not kill my mother. WHEW. We got along better than usual, actually. Not that I have a bad relationship with her. I love my mom. But, well, you know how it is. Those of you who have a loving-yet-domineering-control-freak mother know what I mean. I got to hang out with Smurf and my brothers Fungus and Fat Dog, too. I also got to see one of my oldest friends, a girl who lives in NYC. (She lives near Chinatown, if you are curious).

Wait, weren't you going to post about New Orleans again?

Um, yes, but I left my photo CD at home. Sorry. The pics weren't very good, anyway.

So what else is new?

Well, just before I went home for the holidays, if you remember, I was having car problems and was ready to start car shopping. So Czarina called the Pontiac dealership in my hometown. The Belle family has been doing business with them since the 1960s. No joke. Needless to say, we are on a first-name-basis with everyone who works there. They are very trustworthy and the prices kick ass. So she called them to see if they had any used Hondas or Toyotas -- I told her I was never driving another GM car again as long as I live.

Czarina called me back. "Ok, they have a Ponti--"
"Hold up. Time out. No, Mom. I said no more American cars. Japanese only."
"I know, I know. Just listen. They have a Pontiac Vibe, which has a Toyota engine in it. They just stick a GM body on top when they make it."
"I'm listening," I said.
"They said they'd give you $7,000 for your trade-in--"
[Picks up jaw from floor] "Um, did you say '$7,000'?"
"Yup! And it's a 2004 with only 40,000 miles on it! It's red and it has a sunroof!" she gushed.
"SOLD!" I said.

So here is a pic of a car that is identical to mine! I love that it's red, because as you know, I am a major Indiana basketball fan, and red is the team's color. Woo hoo!!!



I miss having a V6 engine and a couple other features, but I'm loving the better gas mileage and sunroof already! Plus, it is SO much more reliable. I can sleep at night now. It's cute, but I am worried that it's kind of a "mom-ish" car. I always imagine myself in a red convertible...

Maybe one day. But for now, I want reliability and good gas mileage!

Yay! That's great! We love your new car and don't think it's "mom-ish" at all! Now, give us what we really want: some updates on CN! What's going on there?

*sigh* He is still wonderful. I will try not to gush too much. I gave him an ipod shuffle for Christmas, because he admired mine so much -- he loves it! I got major girlfriend points. He gave me a DVD I wanted (a horror movie called When a Stranger Calls -- the original one, not the re-make) and a very pretty silver necklace -- it's a heart with teeny tiny diamonds in it. YAY!!! Good boyfriend!!!! He had asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I replied, "I want you to get me something only a boyfriend would buy." Which, as my female readers know, means, "Jewelry. Preferably real." -- Ok, I'm kidding. It didn't have to be real. So I was pleasantly surprised.

Wow. CN is fantastic. You must feel like the luckiest girl in the world!

He is!!! I am!!!! We are super duper happy!!!!

Ok, now you are making us want to barf, and we like you. Can you stop gushing about Mr. Wonderful?

Sorry.

Any other news?

I got a new cell phone, and it's waaaaay fancier than my old one. Does anyone know a website that is good for ringtones? My provider's website doesn't have some of the songs I want.

My sister got me a gift certificate to Sephora, my most favorite store of all time, as I am a total makeup addict. As much as I lovelovelove it, I am paralyzed with indecision whenever I attempt at making purchases there. I honestly cannot decide. It's like asking a parent which one of their kids is their favorite. So I will hang on to the card for a while.

My brothers gave me Best Buy gift certificates, which will be used to buy more RAM for my home computer. Right now I am operating on a whopping 156k (if I remember correctly -- it's abysmally paltry in any case) and am chomping at the bit to buy some RAM so I can use the Internet from home without wanting to scream at my monitor.

MJ and KT got me yummy coffee that is hard to find. They also got me a gift certificate for dog boarding -- an excellent idea!

OH! I almost forgot!

What?

While I was at home at my mom's house, I was talking to her neighbor. He told me a sad story: his coworker had a Jack Russell terrier and he spoiled the bejeezus out of it. We're talking outfits, pork chops for dinner and a heated dog house. Anyway, one day, while he was at work, someone STOLE his dog!

Aw, that sucks!!!

Yeah, tell me about it. So the neighbor told me this guy was heartbroken and looking for a new dog. "Well........." I said. Then I told him about Toby. How I was sick of him eating my shoes and being hyperactive and how I just don't think Toby is a good fit for me.....etc.

So he told his coworker about Toby, and I gave Toby to him free of charge! He is super happy and was talking baby talk to Toby the last I heard. I'm sure Toby is munching away on filet mignon or something by now. He's hit the doggy jackpot!

Yay! All's well that ends well!

Yes, that is a great ending. Everyone is happy. So, what is your New Year's resolution?

The same one it is every year: lose 40 pounds! Only hopefully this year, I won't stop at 20 pounds and re-gain them back! Argh! I do it every time! And being in a happy relationship is really bad for dieting. I know CN will still like me no matter what I look like (several rough mornings have already proven this theory), which sort of deflates my motivation to eat healthy food. Especially when he takes me out to dinner all the time. Evenings at the gym have been replaced with evenings on the couch, snuggling.

But enough is enough. I'm running out of pants. So I gotta start running on a treadmill. I am breaking in my new running shoes tonight!!!!

And I would like the record to show that I ate a SALAD for lunch today. I. Hate. Salad. But dammit, I'm pissed off at myself, so it's time to shape up.

So yes, Healthy VB is back. Feel free to leave motivating comments for me! They are much appreciated!!!! How do you stay healthy? Have any tips or motivating thoughts for me? I'm having a hard time getting rid of my candy and pushing myself at the gym. I am watching Biggest Loser, because CN swears it motivates you to work out.

I also like to have a fun resolution: This year's fun one is to take more pictures! YAY!!! I know you are excited, because this blog has few, if any pics. But soon, that will change!!!

I want to know your resolutions, too. Share with me!

He Gets Me

CN and I hung out together most of last weekend. On the first of every month, we have Date Night, because we started dating on September 1st. So last Saturday, we made plans for dinner and a movie. (We had never been to a movie theater together before! Isn't that crazy?)

True to form, I was ready about 15 minutes after I said I'd be ready. CN teases me about this a lot, despite the fact that I told him a long time ago that VB time is always +15. I guess men just don't listen. ;)

So we hurry off to dinner on the other side of town. We have to eat really fast to make it in time for the movie. We were planning on seeing The Mist. Luckily, the Italian place wasn't very crowded, so we got out of there before the movie started.

We got to the theater just as the movie was starting. Whew! But there was just one, tiny little problem: there was a HUGE line at the ticket counter.

"There's no way we'll get in there in time to see the beginning," CN said.

He was right. We were too late. There's no way we could get in there without missing at least 15 minutes of the movie. Everyone in town wanted to get in this theater.

"Crap! I ruined Date Night!!" I said, angry at myself. I was pretty upset, and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I felt like a jerk. He tried to make it seem like it was no big deal, but I could tell he was a little upset about missing the movie. That just made me feel even worse.

That's when I told CN that from now on, he needs to tell me to be ready 30 minutes before we actually need to be somewhere. He agreed, and I apologized for being late. I told him I would take him to see the movie the next day -- my treat. He said ok.

The next morning, we went to church (shock and awe, I know! The Heathen Girl goes to church!) with a couple he knows. They are a really nice couple that are getting ready for their first baby. And thanks to our new time policy, I was right on time! Anyway, we went to a church that is not like mine. It's more......modern and liberal than what I'm used to, so it was an adjustment for me. I sounded like a 5 year old, with all of the questions I asked:

"Why is there a rock band here? Are we going to be on TV? Because there's a lot of TV crew-looking people here. Why are those people raising their arms when they sing? Why isn't anyone doing the readings? When do we get to kneel? What's with the big screen TVs? Why aren't we using our hymnals? I've never seen a church where people are allowed to wear jeans and flip-flops. And where's Jesus? I don't see him anywhere...."

CN just shook his head and chuckled to himself.

The questions actually started the night before, when CN asked me if I wanted to go with him to church. "Ok, sure. What is the proper procedure for when you receive the bread and wine there? I need to know, because I don't drink wine at church. I mean, you know I don't drink alcohol, but it's also because I can't stand the taste of wine. So how would it work if I want to opt out?" I asked.

"Oh, they don't even serve it, so you don't have to worry," he replied.

"I'm sorry....what? No bread or wine? Isn't that like....the whole point? The main scene?" I asked, confused. "Are you teasing me? You're making that up. Of course they serve bread and wine. It's not church without it! Stop pulling my leg!"

CN swore up and down that he was not kidding.

This blew my mind. I have never heard such a thing before. I thought all Christians had bread and wine when they went to church on Sundays. (Can you tell I was raised Catholic?)

So I was pretty interested in seeing exactly what went on at this modern church. It turns out that this particular church only does the bread and grape juice (yeah, no wine at this church -- another thing that blew my mind. "Juice?? WTF??) on the first Sunday of the month. So I got to have my Wonder bread and grape juice. It was very surreal to me. And I had forgotten how yummy grape juice is, so that was a good thing.

I've never been to a church service that wasn't my own denomination before. It was sort of like traveling to Europe: the general idea is the same, but there's little differences between this new place and your home. Some of the differences are cool, some of them make you feel uncomfortable.

We were having breakfast with the other couple after church. On the way to the restaurant, I explained to CN that I'm used to real wine, lots of moving around and a more formal presentation. I told him I was not totally comfortable with his modern church. It didn't feel boring and long like what I'm used to.

Call me crazy, but when I'm at church, I want to be hating it. I want it to feel like church. It's not supposed to be fun, in my mind. I want to get the hell outta there ASAP. I want to wear uncomfortable clothes, watch the same routine service I've watched since I was a kid, get a good serving of guilt, real wine, wafers that stick to the roof of your mouth, some hymns, and then I want to go home and forget about all about church until next Sunday. THAT is church.

He told me he'd never been to a Catholic or an Episcopalian service. I told him he'd better hit the gym before he goes to one, because there's a lot of moving around!

"First you stand, then you sit, then you kneel. Then you sit again, then you stand, then you kneel....sit, stand, kneel, stand, sit, kneel....and you sing a lot," I explained.

"I get the idea. We can go to your church next time, if you want," he replied.

"Um...ok. We might have to go to a new Episcopal church, though, because I haven't been to mine in at least a year, and now I'm too embarrassed to go back," I said.

"So......let me get this straight. You haven't been to any church in a year, and you're telling me that you'd rather go to NO church than one that is different than yours. Right?"

"Exactly! Wow, hon, you're a good listener. You ready for some pancakes?" I asked, as we pulled into the restaurant parking lot. CN rolled his eyes and sighed.

We had breakfast with the other couple, and then went to go see The Mist. I hated it. I almost got up to leave about 3 times. I don't like gory movies, and this was full of it. Plus, the ending SUCKS. I will stop there, in case you haven't seen it yet, but let's just say, I was not impressed.

When we left the theater, CN informed me that we would not be going to the movies a lot.

"But why?? I like going to the movies!" I protested.

"Because you yelled at the screen the whole time! People were staring at us!" he said.

"Oh. Sorry. Was I that loud?" I asked.

"YES!" he said, laughing.

"OMG! Why didn't you tell me to shut up? Did I embarrass you?" I asked.

"No, I thought it was funny. I tried to tell you to be quiet, but you didn't listen. That's why I was grabbing your arm. You ignored it. After that, I just gave up. But you talk too much at the movies. We need to stick to watching them at home from now on."

Oops.

That's kind of good, though, because you can't be late to movies you watch at home. Maybe he's got a good idea here. Plus, I can yell at the tv all I want!

Later on that day, he and I were sitting on my bed. I looked at my room.

"WOW. My room is really messy. I'm a slob. Don't you think I'm a slob, honey?" I said.

CN thought for a minute, then replied, "No. You're just really, really, really bad at putting things away!"

We laughed. I love that he gets me. :)

Awkwardness

For the first time in my whole life, I am going to a significant other's parents' house for a holiday.

Yes, I am a loser. But that's not what this post is about.

And no, I am not freaking out about anything major. I have already met CN's parents, and I like them. And they like me. So that is good. I'm just nervous about the little stuff. The Czarina is not helping, either. The other evening, she called me.

VB: Hello?
C: Oh! It's loud. Are you out?
VB: Yes, Mom, I'm in a bar. What's up?
C: Are you with CN?
VB: Yes. We are eating dinner.
C: Um, ok. I just wanted to tell you something while I was thinking about it, because otherwise I'll forget.
VB: Ok. Shoot.
C: You're still going to CN's parents' house for Thanksgiving, right?
VB: Right. Is that ok?
C: Oh, sure, honey! That's totally fine. I know it's a pain to drive all the way up here, only to turn around two days later. You can just come home at Christmas.
VB: Ok. I'm glad you're not upset.
C: Oh, no. I just wanted to give you some advice.
VB: Ok.
C: When you go down there with CN, make sure you don't call him "Sweetie" or anything in front of his mother.
VB: [Trying not to laugh] I'm sorry. It's kind of loud in here. What did you say?
C: I just wanted to tell you not to call CN any little nicknames in front of his mother. It comes off as possessive.
VB: [Realizing there is no point in debating the validity of this statement, and it would be better to just go with it, because apparently, mother has smoked crack before picking up the phone.] Oh. Ok. Thanks, Mom!
C: You're welcome. I'll let you get back to your dinner. Love ya!
VB: Love you, too. Bye, Mom.

Ok, is anyone else totally confused about this advice? Because that was probably the strangest piece of advice she has EVER given to me. And I'm having a VERY hard time believing it. It sounds totally absurd. Who gives a fart if I call him "Schmoopie" or "Sugar Pie" or even "Love Bunny" in front of his mom?

I mean, do parents care about stuff like that? Or is my mother crazy? Because normally, her advice is very old-fashioned, which I can understand. Usually, I can see her point. It's never just plain crazy. This just made no sense to me at all. I could understand maybe, if his mother didn't like me, but she does. So I fail to see the meaning and importance of this advice. It's making me wonder if The Czarina is suffering from early-onset senility.

Maybe I'm just naive? Can anyone shed some light on this for me?

Funny side note: Right after I got off the phone with The Czarina, CN saw a friend of his in the bar. He introduced me, and the three of us started talking. Then the friend made a joke about how CN and I are going to have babies in "about 5 years". I laughed it off, but CN got TOTALLY flustered! It was so funny. I have never seen someone get so wigged out about a joke before in my life! He acted funny for the rest of the evening, and just couldn't seem to let it roll off his back. I mean, the joke put us on the spot, but there was no harm in it. I don't know why it bothered him so much. Can anyone explain this puzzling male behavior to me?

Ok, back to my Turkey Day Stress.

As if my mother's strange advice isn't making me TOO ill at ease, I have a bunch of other stuff that is stressing me out about Thanksgiving this year. My inner monologue goes something like this:

What if his parents' house smells funny? What if I don't like his mom's cooking? What if I have to meet other members of the family and they hate me? What if I get down there and his family is TOTALLY different than mine and we just don't mesh well? What if they get all dressed up for Thanksgiving?

(My family wears sweatshirts and jeans, because the Big Meal is always served mid-football marathon, and we are NOT about to wear church clothes to watch football games on tv!)

*Note to self: ask CN about appropriate Thanksgiving attire*

What if I have to go to church with them? I am weird about other people's churches. I never know where to go or what to do, and often feel guilty about "cheating". Which, at this point, is kind of stupid, because I have not been to church in about a year. I guess it's because I was raised Catholic. Although I'm not Catholic anymore, I still view my attending "other" churches as being sacriligious. I'm weird, I know. Heck, at this point, I could use ANY church! LOL I'm a heathen!

What if they don't like the pies I'm making? I will ruin Thanksgiving! (I am making a sweet potato pie, and I've never made one before. I'm worried I will mess it up.)

What if they eat weird food for Thanksgiving? Like squash or chitlins or goose or something? What if I don't want to eat anything except my own pies?

What if I want to watch different football games than they do? Or worse -- what if they don't watch the football games at all!?

What if I get homesick while I'm there and I start crying? (To make things really interesting, I am all hormonal and PMSy -- which means I cry about anything.) Or worse, what if Cranky, PMSy VB comes out and I bite someone's head off?! EEEK!!

What if something really awkward happens? Someone could bring up a personal topic, or CN and I could get into a fight. Or his parents could turn into MY parents, lecturing us to death. Ugh.

What if I get sick when I'm there? What if we start playing board games, like we do at The Czarina's, and I turn into Obnoxious Board Game VB, who plays for blood and screams at people?

Ugh. Ok, change of subject. I can feel my stomach twisting up. I need to chill, don't I? I'm being ridiculous. Everything will be fine. I could always just pop a vicodin -- Lord knows that always chills me out.

I'm kidding.

*Note to self: get prescription for Xanax.*

Does anyone have any advice for me? Because I've never done this before, and all I am imagining is that I will be like Sarah Jessica Parker's character in The Family Stone and it will be horrible horrible horrible. (By the way, if you have never seen that movie, it is hilarious!) My Overactive Imagination is having a field day right now. Pessimistically Paranoid is screaming and running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Clearly, I need to talk to CN and get him to calm me the eff down. I swear, guys, this is the hormones talking. They make me crazy. Sorry if I'm being TMI today...

Why did I quit smoking again??? Gah, I'd kill for one right now.

So any advice is welcome. Tales of Warning are good, too. And if you have any funny or embarrassing stories, please share those, as well.

But mainly, I'm looking for an explanation of my mother's weird advice. Seriously, WTF??!

Thursday 13

I'm alive, but barely. I just wish I could mainline some caffeine. *yawn*

Sorry about my long absence, but I don't have much to report! Everything has been smooth sailing, really. Since it's Thursday, I will make this a list of 13 things that have been going on so you can catch up! And nothing is wrong -- I just used the cloud logo because it's very dreary and rainy here today. Which is not helping my sleepiness!

1. I have 88 people reading this! Woot! I feel special. I had to re-send some invites today, because the guest invite only lasts for 2 weeks, so if you have been using the guest access, please create an account or face my wrath.

2. I am E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D today. I stayed up late hanging out with CN on Tuesday night, went to trivia last night until 11:30 and tonight I will be up late again. On Friday, I'm meeting up with the Happy Hour Girls, so I won't get any sleep tomorrow either! Aack! Thank goodness for coffee! If I can just hold out for Saturday morning, I will finally catch up on sleep.

3. Things are still going swimmingly with CN. He is wonderful and I'm really really happy. I think this is the first guy I've ever dated where I literally have nothing to complain about, even after dating him for a month. I swear the guy can read my mind. He is thoughtful, fun, considerate, affectionate, honest, patient....I could go on and on. He has yet to let me down. Period. Maybe I should change his name from Cute Neighbor to Mr. Wonderful?? LOL ugh, I think I just barfed a little.

4. Of course, the Pessimistically Paranoid Voice in me is saying, "Ok, no one is this great. There's got to be something he's hiding from you. He likes to wear women's underwear. Or he doesn't want to have children. Or he doesn't see anything wrong with torturing animals. Maybe he's got bodies buried under his house. There's got to be SOMETHING!! Get him to spill it!!!" -- But I'm still not finding any evidence. He's just.......really nice and sweet. To everyone, even strangers. Very normal guy. Geeky and shy, but normal. There's just nothing bad about him, really. It's kinda freaking me out a little.

5. He got tickets to the USC/Kentucky game tonight! I am SO FREAKING EXCITED. The tickets are really hard to get, especially since we are ranked 11th now. And I really hate Kentucky, because they are a big rival of my alma mater, Indiana University. So I really want to see them get creamed tonight. It should be a really good game -- both teams have been doing better than usual this year. The game is being televised nationally (ESPN), so if you watch it, I will wave to you from the crowd! I'll be wearing the garnet-colored tshirt. :)

6. I am taking MJ, KT, VW, CN and his friend The Runner to a big Halloween party thrown by S (one of the Happy Hour Girls) every year. This is the 5th annual Halloween party, and everyone has to wear a costume. It should be really fun. MJ & I are going to be Sprockets and The Runner is going to be The King (as in, Burger King). I don't think anyone else has their costumes picked out yet. CN is thinking about growing a mustache and going as Tom Selleck's character from Magnum P.I., much to my dismay. He looks very strange with a mustache -- I've seen pictures. So I need ideas, people. I am very anti-CN-mustache. Help me!

7. Other fun fall activities we (ie, MJ, VW, KT, The Runner and CN & I) have planned include: going to the corn maze, going to "Scarowinds" (Carowinds, the closest amusement park, has special Halloween features this month) and going on a ghost tour. And then, next week, the SC State Fair comes to town. EEEEEEK!!! I love October and Halloween!!!!

8. My roommate E and her boyfriend B are in the midst of what will probably end up being Breakup #3. I feel really bad for them, because I think they are both great people, but I think they are very ill-suited for each other. They have very different families, religions and goals. There are some trust issues on his part (he snooped through her phone) and she has some ex-boyfriend issues (I don't think she's recovered emotionally from her ex, who is a complete asshole). She would never in a million years cheat on B -- that's not what I'm saying. I just think that maybe she's not ready to be close to someone emotionally right now. And his family doesn't like her and probably never will. To make it worse, when they pick on E, he rarely sticks up for her, which has been causing some problems for them. Throw in the fact that he will never leave SC and she wants to move somewhere else eventually, and you begin to wonder why they are dating in the first place. I do not doubt that they love each other, but sometimes love isn't enough. You have to be on the same page about stuff. And they just aren't. E is willing to call it quits, but B is kind of in denial and thinks they can work things out. Since they work together, E is worried how it will affect that situation, especially since B is the boss's son.

So, in a nutshell, it's a big ol' mess. I have been trying to support E and listen to her, because she is upset about all of this. I hate to see her upset right now, because she has a bunch of other personal problems at the moment. She's majorly stressed. I just really think they need to call it quits -- for GOOD. They both need someone who is better suited for them. Hopefully they will figure this out and both move on with their lives. Until then, I'll just have to keep baking her brownies! I think they are helping.

9. Butter wrecked her car the other day. She's fine, but her car is totaled. She doesn't know exactly what happened, because it all happened so quickly, but it sounds like she blew a tire and lost control of the car. She drove into a big ditch. She was a little shaken, but she's fine now.

10. CN's dad is in the hospital, about an hour away. I think I told you he has cancer. Yeah, it's not good. Anyway, CN's dad's back has been hurting. He thought it was just a pinched nerve or something, so he went to the doctor. It turns out he's got a tumor on his back. So he's in the hospital right now, getting biopsies and stuff. CN doesn't like talking about it, and I can tell he gets upset, so I don't like pressuring him for details. But he did mention that he may go down there tonight instead of going to the game, depending on how well his dad is doing. He also may go down to the hospital this weekend to stay with his parents. I told him that I will go with him if he wants me to. So hopefully everything will be ok.

11. Um, ok, how about something not so Debbie Downer-ish? I watched the Strangers with Candy movie the other night. If you liked the Comedy Central show with Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert, you will LOVE the movie. It's pretty funny.

12. Tomorrow night is the reunion of the Happy Hour Girls. We have all been so busy for the past few months, we haven't gotten together in ages. Now that the summer is over and we are all done with vacations and other things, we can start meeting up at Wild Wings again. I am very excited to have girl time!

13. I am reading two Neil Strauss books right now: The Game, which is about the Pick-Up Artist community, and The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band. CN is letting me borrow it. It's about one of my favorite 80s hair bands, Motley Crue. Have I ever told you I'm a huge Tommy Lee fan? I think he's hilarious and really interesting. Aside from all the hepatitis stuff, anyway.

CN saw my copy of The Game, and asked me about it. I explained the book a little to him. Now he's on a mission to steal it from me and read it. I told him he didn't need to worry about picking up any chicks right now. :)

Alright, now you're all caught up, my wonderful little readers! I hope everyone's having a great day! You think I put enough links in this post? LOL

The Smitten Kitten

That would be me. *sigh!*

Warning: This post might make you barf a little. I'm going to be a little gushy, folks. Sorry.

I had a great weekend. Friday night was great! CN called me about an hour before we left to meet up with MJ & VW at The Hunter-Gatherer (a bar/restaurant):

"Hey, what are you wearing? I've never been to this place, before and I don't know what it's like," he asked.

"I'm wearing a dress, but you can wear whatever you want. I just wanted to wear my new shoes, and the only thing that went with them was this dress," I said.

"Ok, cool. Hey, I invited my friend The Runner to join us. Hope that's ok," he said.

"Sure! He can talk to KT, because she's a total gym rat, and she's coming, too," I replied.

"Ok, I'll pick you up soon," he said. We got off the phone.

A little while later, he knocked on my door. I was pleasantly surprised: without any prompting from me, he rose to the occasion and didn't wear his usual tshirt and jeans! He looked really nice! Yay! Brownie points for him!

We matched. Again. I swear, we always wear black. We look like we are going to funerals all the time. *rolls eyes*

We met up with MJ, VW and The Runner and had a very delicious dinner. KT joined us right before the band started. MJ, KT and I were the only ones familiar with Loch Ness Johnny, but the guys seemed to like it, too. After talking to the band members for a little bit after the show, we all went our separate ways.

I don't remember the details (Ok, maybe I just don't want to share them!) but CN and I hung out alone at my house for a little while until he went home. I'll let your imagination fill in the details. Wowza. I was definitely looking forward to watching the game with him the next day!

The next day, after cleaning up my house a little, going to the store to buy the ingredients for dinner and taking a nap, it was time for the USC vs. LSU game. CN came over and we began to watch the game as we snuggled on the couch.

I don't really know what happened during the second half...because we didn't watch it.....

So then I started on dinner (Chinese beef and broccoli) while he told me funny stories. You should have seen how he wolfed his food down! He was entirely too excited about dinner! "This is the way to get on my good side!" he said. (I made note of this for future reference.)

After dinner, we watched Borat, which is hysterical if you haven't seen it yet. By the time it was over, we were both pooped, so we called it a night.

I wasn't planning on seeing him on Sunday, but he texted me during the afternoon to see if I still needed help with my weed eater. "Yes, I can't get this one part on," I replied. He said he'd come over and look at it.

The next thing I know, he has assembled it correctly and proceeds to begin mowing my backyard! "You don't have to do that!" I yelled, over the noise of the weed eater. He turned it off.

"I know. I want to," he replied.

Aw.

"Now that is how you get on MY good side!" I exclaimed, laying a big smooch on him, despite the fact he was very sweaty and covered with bits of grass. He told me to go back inside so he could finish up. I gave him another smooch.

Not surprisingly, this scene led to a joke between us about my affair with "the gardener". LOL

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. He earned SO many brownie points with this move. "CN is mowing my yard right now, no questions asked. What a keeper!" I texted to all my girlfriends.

Afterwards, he left to go shower and meet up with The Runner to watch an NFL game, and I went to the local Greek Festival with MJ & KT. It was so freaking hot that we didn't stay very long -- we were melting! I went home after eating my gyro.

By this point, I was exhausted and was planning on watching a movie until bedtime. I popped in Blades of Glory and dozed in front of the tv. I wished CN had been there to watch tv with me, but he was still watching the game with his buddy. "Oh well, I've seen him enough this weekend, I guess," I thought. I fell asleep. I woke up to a text message.

"The Falcons lost again. I'm heartbroken," CN said.

"Do you need me to console you? Is this a dire emergency?" I asked.

"Yes! A dire emergency! You should come over," he said.

Cool, he read my mind, I thought.

"I'm really glad you came over," he said when I got there. "I missed you."

"I'm glad you wanted me to come over. I missed you, too," I said.

"Sorry. I've had a few beers. I'm going to be corny right now," he explained as he popped in a DVD. (Note to self: encourage him to drink beer more often.)

To avoid making my readers sick to their stomachs, I won't tell you what else he said. But I will say that we didn't watch much of that movie, either.

He's so sweet, so thoughtful, so funny. I think I'm a goner, guys. This one's a keeper, for sure.

So it's going really well. Now I know what everyone was talking about when they told me to start dating nice guys. :)

CNN

Cute Neighbor News. Get it? Har har.

Thanks to all of you who left advice for me on the last post! I don't like being involved in stuff like that, so I will just try to keep out of it as best as possible. Hopefully that will be the end of my involvement.

You have all been waiting patiently for a CN update. I have to admit, I have been stalling out of paranoia. You see, I am worried he will find this blog. Last Saturday, we were out with a group of friends, and the subject of myspace came up. If you are familiar with myspace, you know that you can have a little blog on there. "Do you have a blog?" he asked me.

Oh.

God.

"No...." I trailed off, quickly changing the subject to something else.

Great. I just lied to him. This is just perfect. First I tell him I have food poisoning when I really didn't, and now this. Ugh. I am getting a pit in my stomach just thinking typing this. I don't like lying and I'm terrible at it, too. So who knows if he even believed me???

But what else was I supposed to say??? "Yes, I do, and I talk about you on it all the time. Feel free to check it out so you can learn about how much of a total freak I am!"

As if this wasn't bad enough, long ago I stupidly set my myspace URL to the same name as my blog pseudonym, Virginia Belle. (And yes, I know you are all going to go and myspace stalk me now. Go ahead. I'll wait. It's private, anyway, so don't get too excited.) Anyway, if you Google my pseudonym, my blog pops right up. Oh boy. I do NOT want him reading this. I learned the hard way last time about telling guys you date about your blog. Never again!!

I would not really be worried about this if it weren't for the fact that he does background checks for a living. So he's paid to be a stalker. He probably has all of the research skills that I have. Is it only a matter of time before he thinks to Google my myspace URL pseudonym? Aaaarrrgh. I feel so stupid right now. Instead of being the hunter, now I am the hunted. Getting a taste of your own medicine is always a bitter pill to swallow.

I have some choices. Deleting my myspace and starting a new one would be waaaayy too obvious. I could make this blog invitation only, which would mean no more new readers. I could delete all of the CN posts. I could edit my blog to make it look like it's not ME, but some other girl who happened to use the same pseudonym. I could make it say that I'm a sales rep who lives in Colorado or something. I could even just end this blog and start a new one. Or, I could just hope for the best and continue about my merry way. What do you think? Am I being paranoid? I need help, guys!

I am trying not to think about it. So let's just move on for now. I know you want some scoop. I will warn you that this will probably be kind of gushy. So suppress your gag reflex for the time being. I will do the same.

First off, every time he and I hang out, we have great conversations and he usually has me in stitches. The guy is hilarious. Example: a text message conversation we had yesterday, after the cable guy came over to his house.

CN: The cable guy thinks you're hot. He saw you walking the dogs.
VB: OMG, don't tell me that!
CN: He was all about me hooking him up. He wanted me to give you his number: xxx-xxx-xxxx
VB: Yesss! Now I can get free cable! Thanks, CN!
CN: Just kidding. Alright, I will pay your cable bill if you don't go out with him.
VB: Ok, FINE! Gah!

And did I mention he's got dimples?? Oh man, am I a sucker for dimples....they are like kryptonite.

He and I met up with MJ and her boyfriend, VW for trivia night recently. We had a good time, although we sucked at trivia! CN wanted to do it again tonight, but I already have plans.

Saturday night, we went bowling with MJ & VW and Mr. & Mrs. Bill. There were a few more people there as well. We all had a really good time, especially MJ, who beat the crap out of us. And since she won't give me a straight answer, I will never know if MJ and VW were working behind the scenes to encourage CN to make out with me or not. As if I am not shy and nervous enough, I have to deal with meddling friends. Yeesh. After bowling, we all wanted to go to IHOP, but it was packed, so the group split up. CN and I decided to go to a Waffle House in our neighborhood instead.

When our waffles came out, the waitress neglected to give us any syrup. There was some syrup on a shelf nearby, but I didn't want to touch them because the handles were all sticky and goopy. I was willing to wait for the waitress to give us some syrup that wasn't sticky. I explained this to CN, and he stood up, grabbed one of the sticky syrups and said, "Tell me when." -- and then he syruped my waffle for me! Aw. Bonus points for him. I thought that was so sweet. Not too many guys are willing to syrup your waffles for you, you know?

As he walked me to my door, he said that he wants to take me out alone sometime, because we have been doing nothing but group dates. Ca-ching! More points. He totally read my mind. Unfortunately, there was still no smooching going on by this point. I guess I just wasn't feeling it. I'm not keen on kissing in public or in front of my friends. And I hate having a first kiss on my doorstep. It makes me feel like I'm on stage. I don't like it. So although I could tell he wanted to, I bolted inside at the end of the night.

MJ, of course, wanted juicy smooching details the next morning, but I disappointed her yet again. By this point, MJ was totally annoyed with the both of us, and nagging me incessantly to get on with it. "I'll do it! Lay off, already!! He's shy and it makes me feel shy in response!" I said defensively.

The next day, I was puttering around my house when he asked me if I wanted to go to Steak n Shake for dinner. Mmmmm!!! Burgers and milkshakes!!! Twist my arm!! Unfortunately, when we got there, we learned that tragically, Steak n Shake has closed down. After briefly grieving for the loss, we went to another burger place, where we had more fantastic conversation. Actually, I kinda hogged it, and he let me. More bonus points for him...

When we got home, it was still early, so he invited me over to watch a movie. We settled on Pan's Labyrinth, which ended up being AWESOME. It is one of the best movies I've seen in years. And he got more bonus points for putting up with one of the most annoying things about me: I am one of those people who talks throughout movies. I know, I know. It's so irritating. But I yell at the characters and critique the movie the whole way through. Aside from some much deserved teasing, he let me get away with it. Wow. He got a lot of points for that one.

His house was totally freeeeeeeezzzzing, and so he tucked a blanket around me and turned the air down. Then he said I could snuggle up to him to stay warm, which I did. Aw. He smelled good. Yay!

As he walked me back to my front door, he said he has not been coming over, because he doesn't want to be "that guy". I told him that was good, and that I was doing the same thing, because I didn't want to be "that girl".

"Oh, no, you can totally be that girl," he replied. Aw.

Ugh, this post is making me barf a little. Sorry. I'm trying not to gush. I'll stop, because I'm annoying myself at this point.

But he is a good kisser. :)

Tag! I'm It!

I've been tagged by Evel. (If you don't read her blog, you should. She's hysterical. Ever wonder what those tech support people are really thinking when you call about your messed up computer? She will tell you! And you know what? You sound like a total idiot.)

My job here today is to tell you 8 tidbits of info about me. I bet I have already done this tag....and surprisingly, I haven't told you everything about me. SHOCKER! This tag came at a good time, since I have lots going on, yet nothing which would entitle an entire post. Here goes.

Oh, heads up. If you have a weak stomach, you might want to skip #1.

1. I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. For a legitimate reason, this time. I have been informed by my gyno that there is too much protein in my urine, and so I have to go back to the office and let them insert who-knows-what into you-know-where so they can make sure my kidneys are working properly. Fuckfuckfuckityfuckfuck. They think I am not peeing into the cup correctly and I am contaminating my own urine samples with excess protein from who knows what. It wouldn't be a surprise if this is true, as they have a 12-step process for peeing into the cups there. You need a PhD to follow their procedure. Anyway, using a catheter is a fail-proof way of seeing if the problem is my idiocy or my kidneys. The only reason I am volunteering to cooperate with this whole catheter idea is because I know it might be preventing a future kidney stone. Now that you have read this, I know you are thinking one of the following:
A) Ouch!
B) Ew!
C) This sounds like a job for Vicodin! or
D) *raises hand, as if to ask a question in class* Um, but why does the gyno care about that hole?

To which I reply: Exactly!!!!

2. Further proof that I did indeed make a 4.0 in library school (aka "The Place Where You Learn How to Be a Stalker and Get Paid for It"): I found Cute Neighbor's myspace page yesterday. I found it because I found out his last name through public records. Along with the full names of all my neighbors. And some details about Hot Neighbor's divorce. And his driving record. And where he used to live. But whatever. That's basic stuff. *raises hand in swearing manner* I promise never to use my powers for evil purposes. But if you want me to do some stalking for you, I charge $25/hour for my services (see #3, below).

3. I am trying to sell Toby. Because I get these things called "bills" in my "mailbox". And it's either sell the dog or sell my body at this point. And please, no sympathy for the dog. He should have thought about this before he chewed off my windowsill. And pooped all over my house.

4. Sometimes I geek out WAAAAAY too much. Examples:

A)I was just on Netflix, reviewing my queue. I had forgotten that once I discovered the "documentaries" section on Netflix, I had gone totally crazy: history, science, pop culture, animals, foreign cities, diseases, religions, art, you name it. For some reason, though, the following must have sounded interesting to me: The Natural History of the Chicken. Whaaaaaaaa???
B) And now that I'm going to NYC, I am entirely too excited about it, and have checked out 3 travel guides from the library. I'm going to look over those before I even get on the plane. I just put an 8 volume "History of NYC" documentary at the top of my Netflix queue. And read up on all the well-known NYC neighborhoods in Wikipedia. (You can quiz me, even!) And I'm working on my "First Trip to NYC" Soundtrack. Today I'm going to see if I really can get tickets to Spamalot. (Ok, you know and I know that is impossible, but I am curious to see just how much it would cost.) It is probably the ONLY musical I would ever get excited to see....ok, I just looked it up. Some tickets are as low as $36. Who knew???? I am seriously out of control, people!!!
C) I think I might spend this afternoon going back through all my posts and editing my post labels. (Just having typed that, I'm not too surprised about this dry spell I'm having....jeez. *sighs and rolls eyes*)

5. I'm really good about taking other people's advice and learning from others' mistakes. Example: MJ says Times Square is a royal pain in the neck and sucks. I believe her. So I will not be visiting this famous landmark. Unless it's because I am going to Spamalot. (Besides, um, what the hell do tourists do there, anyway? Look at the big lit-up signs??? Big deal. Send me a postcard, you know?) Some people call it "blind trust", I call it "never having to hear 'I told you so'."

6. When I go to Vermont on this upcoming trip, it will be the farthest north I've ever been. There'd better not be any snow. And I want to see a Ben & Jerry's on every corner!

7. When I was home at The Czarina's recently, I was helping her clean the house. The wall by the stairs has a bunch of old framed family documents and pictures (diplomas, paintings, etc.) hanging on it. I was looking at them while I dusted. One of the framed items is a promotional brochure from my great-great-grandfather's dentistry practice, dating back to about the 1880s. (If you knew my family, it would not surprise you in the least that we not only saved that, but also framed it.) Now, I knew that side of my family was from upstate New York, so I figured he was a dentist somewhere in northern New York. But according to this brochure, his office was located on W. 151st St., NYC! Cool, huh? All this time, I thought I had no NYC connections. I asked MJ if we would have time to maybe go see the building, but she pointed out that 151st street is in Harlem, and it might not be a good idea. Also, it's hella out there, almost in the Bronx.

8. I just found out this week that I type 65 words per minute.

Ok, I am supposed to tag 8 people.....but it's lunchtime, and I gotta go. If you want to do it, knock yourself out!

WLF Goes to the Beach

Let's see....not the most eventful week of my life, in case you can't tell from my lack of posting.

I could tell you about having to sit next to a guy from Romania who had B.O.

Or I could tell you about seeing a great local band the other night (Villanova).

I could tell you that I saw Hoochie McSkankerton (aka Wednesday Skank) sucking face with Hot Neighbor this weekend. In his driveway. In daylight. In front of his kids. (Is it just me, or is 2 months kind of soon to be making out in front of the kiddies???)

I could tell you that Shrek the Third was decent. But perhaps you should wait for the DVD.

I could tell you that the portrayal of librarians in Party Girl and Tomcats were....interesting. And although not great movies, they did have their funny moments. Librarians are very wild girls, according to Hollywood. Woot!

I could mention that I am officially up to running 3 miles now. With a small break in-between miles 2 and 3. Go me.

Or I could tell you that I left my doggie bag behind at a restaurant this weekend and I was SO MAD, because I always do that. Which sucks even more when you are broke and were hoping to have the leftovers for dinner tonight. GAH I am still pissed at myself, just thinking about it.

I could tell you how my brother Fungus got to eat dinner with this guy recently. No, I am not kidding. A friend of the family got an extra ticket to a gala dinner where he spoke, and he gave the ticket to Fungus. So I'm sure he didn't get to meet him, just share a meal with him. Kinda. Neat, huh?

I could tell you about hanging out with all my girls this weeekend: Friday's dinner with the Happy Hour Peeps. Saturday's BBQ lunch w/MJ & KT (and MJ's brother & sis-in-law) and Sunday's dinner at a Chinese/Japanese/Sushi restaurant with the Nurses and Healthy Girl. But it was just good times, not much to report.

Really, I pretty much just summed everything up for you. This leaves me with a problem: what should I post today? Hmmm...sounds like it's time for a story! WOOT!

Have I told you about the time WLF went to the beach? No? Ok, this is a good one.

At some point in his youth, I think when he was in college, WLF (aka My Dad) went to the beach with his buddies one summer. (So this is probably somewhere in Virginia or Maryland, in the 1950s, for those of you who want a setting.)

They were there for about a week. Aside from getting up one morning (to find they were out of milk) and putting beer on his breakfast cereal --- EWWWWW --- he just had a good time partying it up on the surf and sand.

But one night was unforgettable.....

Apparently, there was some all-girl's school at this beach-front town. WLF and his buddies found out where the girls' dormitory was. It was directly across the street from the beach. Enjoying the wonderful beach breezes, the girls kept their windows open at night as they slept.

Big. Mistake.

You see, nighttime is when the crabs come out. Hundreds of little crabs, all over the beach. And you really don't want to combine that wonder of nature with a group of college-aged young men who are on vacation with not much to do. Besides drink beer.

See where this is going? Yeah.

So WLF and his buddies grab buckets and start collecting crabs. Tons of them. They completely fill the buckets with live crabs. They wait until the lights in the dormitory had been out for about a half hour. Then they climb up the fire escape to the 2nd floor, walk over to the open window...........and begin to dump the buckets. Hundreds of crabs scurry all over the hardwood floors, making for a very creepy cacophony of little crustacean legs. But the sleeping women do not notice.

At first.

Giggling, WLF and his buddies ran back down the fire escape to sit on the curb across the street from the dormitory. They each pop a can of beer......and wait.

About 5 minutes later, the screaming starts. In between shrieks, WLF and his buddies can hear the crabs freaking out and scurrying around everywhere in packs, from one side of the room to the other. Soon they can tell all the girls are up, screaming bloody murder. The crabs are making even more noise than before, sliding all over the slick, hardwood floors. Someone switched on the lights, and then they really started screaming.

Meanwhile, WLF and his friends are laughing their asses off.

That is, until they hear the police sirens. One of the girls had called the cops.

WLF and his buddies start to run away. But WLF trips and falls. The cops are right up on them at this point, his friends are long gone, and WLF knew he had to think fast if he was going to avoid trouble. A pickup truck was parked down the street. WLF opened the door (unbelievably, it was unlocked) and quickly laid down on the seat as though he were sleeping.

Not even 15 seconds later, a cop raps at the window, looking for answers.

"Oh, no, officer. I have no idea what you're talking about. I've been asleep the whole time, here in my truck. I didn't see anything," he said drowsily.

"Hmph. Ok, well, thanks anyway," the cop said suspiciously.

My dad could never believe he didn't get busted on that one. But he was pretty proud of himself at the same time for his quick thinking. He never could tell that story without laughing so hard, he had tears running down his face.

By the way, this is only one of many stories involving my father and practical jokes. You could say it was a hobby of his.