Updates

1. CN's dad is home from the hospital. YAY! Although it's a lot easier on his mom now, she is still really stressed out. When CN and I went down to visit them this past weekend, I told her that she can call me if she needs someone to sit at the house while she runs errands or takes a nap or whatever. She will probably never take me up on the offer, but I wish she would. She's a bundle of nerves. As for CN's dad, he's in better shape emotionally. He's really happy to be home after staying in a hospital for 3 weeks. But physically, he's worse than ever. He can't even get out of bed or use his hands now. The radiation has basically fried his nerve endings and really weakened his muscles. And the radiation treatments (15 of them!) made his hair fall out. :( Luckily, a nurse comes by twice a day to help out. So things are better, but not good.

2. Did you hear about the plane crash?? The doctors are saying that Travis Barker and DJ AM should make a full recovery, so that's good. But it's so sad about the rest of the people on the plane. They think a blown tire caused the crash.

3. My roommate, E, is still hanging out with the Random Guy, despite how she told me she doesn't really like him. Ugh. I just do not like him. Have you ever met someone and instantly knew you should not trust them? That's how I feel about this guy. And I don't mean like I'm worried he's going to steal stuff. Not that kind of distrust. More along the lines of he's a player and just out to use women. That kind of distrust. The sketchy, lying kind. Anyway, I just sleep over at CN's house when he's over. That way, I don't have to worry about their beer-induced midnight romping. Ugh. (The upside? I think E feels a little guilty, because she's been taking out the trash and washing all the dishes. I am not complaining. I like this arrangement.)

4. MJ got free tix to the South Carolina football game this weekend, and she is taking ME!!! YAY!!!! We get free food and drinks at her company's tailgating area, too. WOO HOO!!! I have the bestest best friend ever. Not only is she WAY cooler than I am, she is also generous. OMG you have no idea how totally excited I am. There is nothing better than seeing the Gamecocks play live, in the stadium. Unless you've been to an SEC football game, you have no idea what I'm talking about. It's a total blast. It's so hard to get tickets, let alone FREE ones. This is SWEET.

5. I finally broke down and bought some new (ie, bigger) pants this weekend. While bummed that I now have to wear a size (ok, two sizes) larger than usual, I really did need some new work clothes. "I feel like I'm rewarding myself for getting fat," I said to CN. He made me feel better by reminding me that it's ok, because I'm doing what I can so I won't have to wear them for too long. I have been doing pretty well at cutting sugar from my diet and eliminating all snacks and fried foods. Next week, I will start to exercise a lot more, too. With any luck, I should be able to lose some weight here pretty soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

6. You might be saying to yourself right now, "Shopping? Football games? Gee, VB, it seems like you have a lot of free time lately." To which I reply, "Why, how observant of you, my dear reader!" I have decided to quit my part time job at Dildo's. I put in my 2 weeks notice a couple of weeks ago. I decided that I deserve a break. And I need to be able to support CN right now. I might get another part time job after the holidays are over, but for now, I am really looking forward to being able to clean my house, see my friends, sleep in, go to the gym, etc. My last day is tomorrow. I cannot even tell you how freaking excited I am to finally have a life again. I even bought a new cookbook in anticipation of all the cooking I will be able to do soon!

And I have paid off about $2500 in credit card debt! While not super amazing, it is a nice dent in my debt, and nothing to be ashamed of. I can still (hopefully) continue to pay it down, albeit more slowly than before.

7. My stalker hasn't bothered me, aside from a bunch of staring, which is creepy enough. But I never walk to my car alone, and my boss gave me permission to call security at any time if he says anything inappropriate to me. Unfortunately, the creepy staring isn't enough to have him removed. But at least my boss is backing me on this and taking it seriously. She was really concerned when I told her about it. So far, so good......

Ok, you're all caught up now. :) Thanks for reading. I'm off to go leave comments on other blogs...ta ta for now!

Fun Fall Stuff!

Fall is such a fun and exciting season. You have cooler weather, beautiful leaves, Halloween, yummy apples, football, school starts...and this year, we have the election to boot.

Although we are still wearing flip-flops and dealing with 90 degree temperatures here in SC as we watch the weather report closely (Hurricane Ike is a Category 4 -- EEK!), I can tell that fall is coming. I can't wait to put on boots and turtlenecks.

I'm rambling. What I wanted to share with you today are some fun things I have found on the Internet, and they all happen to be fall-related. Here goes.

Back to School: Ever wonder what your hair would have looked like if you were in an old yearbook? Go to Yearbook Yourself and see what you would have looked like back in the day. I was crying laughing at this site, y'all. It is hysterical. Even funnier when I used CN's photo and saw what he would have looked like in the male photos. Don't forget to save the pics and email them to your friends. This is my favorite site, I swear.

Election: Is anyone else thinking that Sarah Palin is a dead ringer for Tina Fey? Cuz I am! Check out this photo:
I hope SNL jumps on this ASAP. Is Tina guest hosting any time soon? I'm sure the writers could come up with something. If not Palin, Tina could also do a fantastic Winona. Check this one out:
They could all be sisters!

Football: First of all, I would like to say how freakin' awesome it was that Alabama beat Clemson this past weekend. Not only do I not like Clemson, but I am a huge Alabama fan. Roll Tide!!!! I am hoping that Nick Saban can lead the Tide to a winning season this year. After so many heartbreaks in the last few years, it's nice to see this happen. :) My whole family is full of Tide fans. Not only did my dad attend Bama and play for Bear, but he also used to teach there. He remembered seeing Joe Namath throwing a football around in the school cafeteria!

And now, The Czarina is starting to become a South Carolina fan, although this is more to do with her 40-year-long crush on Steve Spurrier than anything else. Every time I bring up his name, I have to listen to her say, "Oh, I have had the hots for him since he was a quarterback for Florida!" -- she's such a dork.

Oh, but what I was going to say.......The Czarina sent me this funny email, describing the differences between college football down south vs. college football up north. It was too good not to share. (I have added a little bit myself!):

Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints.

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket. Wear jeans & sweatshirt.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for. Wear cocktail dress in team colors, complete with coordinating heels and sterling silver jewelry with team mascot charms.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people. College football stadiums can hold the entire population of certain small countries.

Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Herschel Walker & Peyton Manning

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution, and put name on a waiting list for tickets.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never Broadcast from their campus.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band... who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon. A 16-hour day of eating and drinking takes place, followed by a giant bonfire at midnight.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's third largest city. Game days are responsible for approximately 25% of the college town's economy.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumb**ch - tackle him and break his legs."

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumb***h - tackle him and break his legs."

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team. He is the 3rd generation announcer for the team. But you probably knew that already, because there's a bronze statue of his grandfather by the press box.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.

Sundays:
NORTH: Sleep in or go to church. Don't think about football until next week. Slowly gain anticipation for basketball or hockey season instead.
SOUTH: If you get up in time for church, you smell like bourbon and listen to a football-related sermon, then run home to watch all the press conferences, team football shows and coach interviews that you recorded while you were at church. Eat, sleep and breathe college football until January.

[Y'all, I wish I was kidding, but these are all pretty much true!! As for the lightbulb jokes below, we have all got to learn to laugh at ourselves, right?]

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern football! And for SEC Fans:
HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

At VANDERBILT: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.

At GEORGIA: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one to stabilize the rolling beer cooler the bulb changer is using for a ladder.

At FLORIDA: It takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.

At ALABAMA: It takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

At OLE MISS: It takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At LSU: It takes seven, and each one gets credit for five Semester hours.

At KENTUCKY: It takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.

At TENNESSEE: It takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.

At MISSISSIPPI STATE: It takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, “GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".

At AUBURN: It takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.

At SOUTH CAROLINA: It takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.

At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas.

CN is recording the South Carolina/Vandy game for me right now. I can't wait to run home after work and go watch it!!! Go Cocks!!

Unfortunately, I don't know if the Alabama game will be televised on Saturday...but it's ok. I'm sure I will read all about it in the paper! You'd have to live under a rock to get away from SEC football down here. :)

Listed Updates

Greetings, dear readers. I have typed and re-written this post 3 times this week, trying to make it more coherent. But I give up, partially because I think I'm getting sick. I do not feel well at all -- headache, queasy tummy, feeling out of it-- I think I'm going to go home and go to bed. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't have the flu, because it's going around hard-core in SC right now. But I really want to post before I leave, so I will just list everything here and now, despite its disorganization and randomness.

1. I paid my taxes yesterday morning. One less thing to worry about. Unfortunately, I didn't read your comments until yesterday afternoon, so I was not able to take everyone's advice and avoid H&R Block. But at least they are done now, and I know they are done correctly. Yes, it cost me an arm and a leg, and apparently I was doing everything correctly on TurboTax, because I'm getting exactly what TurboTax said I was going to get. But oh well. Now I know -- next year, use TurboTax. It turns out that my taxes aren't that complicated, and even I, Doofus Extraordinaire when it comes to financial matters, can figure it out. Chalk it up to a learning experience.

2. The good news? Now I have plenty of money for the cruise. The bad news? I probably won't be putting much any towards my credit card debt. $800 doesn't go too far. But it's ok. Now I will at least have a little cushion in my checking account. In theory. Looks like I just need to really stick to my budget. Eventually, it WILL pay off.

3. Speaking of budget stuff, I am under budget this month for gas, clothing ($0!!!), dining out AND groceries. Also, I spent $300 less overall this month than last month. So although I did spend money on my tax preparation, the personal trainer and my termite inspection, at least it won't hurt as much. I think budgeting money is like losing weight -- you have to be patient, because the hard work pays off down the road.

4. I bought some protein powder. My trainer told me I'm supposed to be eating more protein so that I can build more lean muscle. After looking at what I'm eating, I have come to realize I eat a TON of carbs. Granted, they are almost always whole grain and low fat, but I really am lacking in the protein department. I just don't really crave meat very often. Usually, my protein comes from dairy and beans, which don't have a whole lot of protein. I'm almost eating like a vegetarian on some days! So I bought some chocolate soy protein powder. I thought it would be gross, but it's actually really good! So that made me happy.

5. Well, it looks like Kelvin Sampson might be getting the boot. Nothing's finalized yet, but it doesn't look good for the basketball coach at my alma mater. Which really stinks, because it's the middle of a GREAT season for us!!! I'm hoping it will all work out. I'll probably post more about this as it develops, because I have more to say. I just don't feel well enough to ramble on and on about it right now.

6. CN told me my butt looks smaller. I decided to override the Automatic Female Response (AFR) of, "So, you're telling me that my ass used to be fat??!!" and decided to just take the compliment with some gratitude. He's so supportive. He knows I hate my butt. I don't know if he was just saying it to make me feel better or what, but I sure am glad to have someone cheering me on.

7. Although I didn't want to go, I dragged my (smaller?) butt to the gym Wednesday night. As long as I go on Saturday, too, that will make 3 weeks in a row that I've been to the gym at least 4 times. Go me!

8. My birthday is next week!!!! Yay!!! Although I will be 29 (EEEK!!), I can say that this is probably one of the happiest times of my life so far, even with all the money/weight loss stress. I have a lot to celebrate.

9. Oh! I almost forgot. Valentine's Day went really well. The meal I made for CN last Thursday was super yummy (the recipes are posted over on my cooking blog -- see sidebar.) and he really really liked it. Friday, he took me to a very expensive Italian place here in town (Ristorante Divino). Neither one of us had been before, and we really enjoyed it. The ambiance was great -- very romantic and intimate. The service was perfect -- our waiter never interrupted our conversation and never let our drinks get empty. The food was good, too. Their menu is pretty heavy on seafood, which is great for us, because we are both seafood lovers. Their dessert menu is one of the best I've ever seen -- chocolate bread pudding, walnut pie, chocolate cakes filled with molten peanut butter, creme brulee and something called an "almond crust", which was the owner's great-grandmother's recipe. It was topped with vanilla custard -- Mmmm!!!

I was a good girl and didn't order dessert, which I have to admit was very difficult.

CN gave me a bottle of perfume I'd been wanting. I brought home a sample a few weeks ago, and we both really liked it. It's called "The One" and it's made by Dolce & Gabbana -- ooh la la! So he did a really good job with Valentine's Day this year.

I got him a new travel case for his toiletries, because I'm broke. So my present kind of sucked in comparison. But, it turns out that he needed a new one pretty badly -- his old one was "covered in white mold or something", according to him. All together now: EWWWWWWW!!!!

A funny thing did happen on Valentine's Day. We gave each other cards, and we wrote pretty much the SAME super-sweet message to each other. How disgusting is that?? Cute, but gross.

10. Thank you, everyone for your awesome comments in the last post. You guys rock my socks. I really needed some cheering and encouragement, and y'all really helped me out. You might think it was no big deal, but it really did help me feel better! Thank you so much. Extremely motivating and helpful and supportive comments and advice!!! YAY readers!!! I feel a lot better, and I really appreciate the advice about taxes and money and stuff. :)

Ok, I'm going home so I can lie down. I feel like crap.

It's Friday!!!

Time for something fun!!!! YAY!! Weekend!!!

CN and I love this commercial, and we have started to say, "What the French, Toast?" to each other. *snicker* Hope you think it's as funny as we do.



CN told me about these next two videos. He said that I'm lucky Kelly doesn't live near here, or else I would have serious competition. *rolls eyes* My coworkers think they are a riot, but MJ doesn't think they are funny. All I know is, I can't stop saying, "Lemme borrow that top!"

*WARNING: These are NOT suitable for work or children! So turn your speakers down!*


Ok, I am STILL laughing about these Kelly videos, and I've watched them at least 5 times. This guy (whoever he is) needs to make more Kelly videos. Or else I will "betchslap" the stupid outta him!

Well, we all know this weekend is The Superbowl! This year I am hoping the Giants will win. My fam is full of Colts fans, so rooting for the Giants is as close as we can get. Besides, I like to root for underdogs. Although, Tom Brady is pretty hot.......OMG, girls, have you checked out the new Stetson ads? Yee-Ha, Cowboy! *faints into puddle on floor*

Where was I? Oh yeah. If you want to see some of the commercials that will air, check out this site.

Who are you cheering on in The Big Game? Do you have any fun plans?

Leftovers

Is anyone out there waiting for a big, exciting report about my Thanksgiving break? Or maybe some juicy CN updates? Or a funny story about how I mortified myself in front of his family?

Then you will be sorely disappointed. :)

I did some shopping (including buying those silver shoes I mentioned in the last post, and I LOVE them -- they were on sale for $30!!) and got some Christmas presents. I am still stumped on MJ, KT and my mother. Well, kind of. I have gotten them all little things, but not enough for a whole present, so I have to think up something else. (Any ideas are appreciated! Yes, MJ & KT, even from you! I am officially taking requests!) Anyway, everyone else on my list is either scratched off or it's just a matter of my going to the store to go buy the item(s).

On Thanksgiving day, I got up and took a shower. Then I agonized about what to wear and changed outfits about 5 times. I called CN to ask him what he was wearing. "Jeans," he said. Cool! I put on some jeans and a button down shirt. I went over to his house and we watched some tv. I asked him what time they usually had Thanksgiving dinner at his parents' house. "Oh, you know, around lunch or something," he replied.

"Um, that sounds like something you should probably confirm with your mom, sweetie. I mean, CN. I am calling you CN today," I replied.

"You can call me sweetie. I told you, it's fine. Ok, let me call my mom," he said.

It turned out, the food was almost ready, and we were just dawdling, watching tv an hour away!!! Eeek! So we got in the car to make the drive. Halfway there, CN's dad called us and wanted us to pick up a newspaper for him. Well, it turns out that Thanksgiving newspapers are few and far between -- I think everyone bought one to get the shopping coupons. We tried every gas station, grocery store and quickie mart on the back roads to Barnwell -- they were all sold out! We finally found one in Barnwell. But by this time, we were about 30 minutes late and the food was waiting on us. Oops.

No one seemed upset, because they knew we were looking for a paper. When CN and I got there, we were greeted by his parents and his sisters. They had been working on a MASSIVE spread of food:

turkey
ham
gravy
mashed potatoes
stuffing
mac n cheese
sweet potato souffle
rutabagas (yeah, I passed on that...I am currently not accepting any new vegetables right now.)
green bean casserole
biscuits
grits (I think there were grits...I'm telling you, the selection was mind-boggling -- it was like a buffet!)

Can you say "Mmmmm!!!"? CN's mom makes the best mac n cheese I've ever had in my whole life. And then I brought the pie: pumpkin.......and sweet potato. The pumpkin came out fine. I just used the recipe on the back of the can. But the sweet potato pie....well, let's just say I wish I could have a do-over. It tasted fine. But I had two little problems:

1. I didn't really bake the sweet potatoes long enough. And I didn't realize it until it was too late. So the pie had teeny tiny lumps of sweet potato in it. Oops.
2. The recipe called for brown sugar, but all I had was dark brown sugar. I think it tastes better. Well, because it was so dark, it made the pie look like baked........puppy shit.

So CN and I dubbed it the "Puppy Shit Pie".

But we still ate it. It was pretty good.

We all ate so much, none of us had any energy after eating. We were even too lazy to change the tv channel, which was some show about plastic surgery. And it showed all these women with really REALLY saggy or terrifyingly huge boobies and we were all grossed out. It was kind of funny, actually. Poor CN had to listen to all of us women talk about boobs. He just laughed at us.

I got to meet CN's older sisters: Oldest, Middle, Youngest. Oldest only stopped by for a minute, so I didn't really get to talk to her. Middle is a hoot, and I liked her right away -- she is really funny, just like CN. And Youngest............well, CN had given me a heads-up about Youngest, so I was mentally prepared for how to deal with her. I was grateful for the heads up -- otherwise, I would have been convinced she just hated me! She's just one of those people who has to warm up to you. Which doesn't intimidate me at all. I mean, come on, I refer to my own mother as The Czarina-- she's not exactly a warm, huggy-type person. Besides, I'm totally charming. Who wouldn't like me? ;)

Youngest and I did bond over our shared love of makeup, shoes, purses, jewelry and Girly Things in General. So I could see her melting a little. I think I did ok. I think the sisters like me.

And CN's mom is just so sweet. I really like her. Her dining room was full of her collection of these, which I adore. I have a white one with a blue head at my house. It belonged to my grandmother, and I love it. I had no idea they came in different colors! CN's mom has them in all sorts of colors and sizes. It was really neat.

She's pretty stressed out right now, with CN's dad still being sick. He had to go back to the hospital today, because they are pretty sure he's got some internal bleeding somewhere. I am still waiting on an update. CN's mom doesn't like to upset CN with bad news, so he has to drag it out of her sometimes. Anyway, hopefully he will be better soon. He wasn't feeling too good when we were down there. He stayed in bed and didn't eat much. He had a fever, but thanks to some Tylenol, he was feeling better when we left. He was glad to see me.

Oh, and I did accidentally slip and call CN "honey" in front of his mom one time. But I don't think she noticed or cared. WHEW.

I asked CN to show me some baby photos, but he managed to weasel his way out of that one, claiming that he didn't have any or that his mother threw them away. So I had to settle for looking at his awful senior photos from high school! I haven't stopped teasing him about them since I saw them!

So yes, everything went very well at Thanksgiving, and I had nothing to worry about.

The rest of my long weekend was a mix of football game watching (all THREE of the teams I was rooting for -- Virginia, South Carolina and Alabama -- lost their games!!), bowling, napping, shopping, eating, cooking, movie watching and general relaxation. I love long weekends.

And yes, CN is still wonderful. "You're the best lookin' and the best cookin' girlfriend I've ever had," he told me last night when I made him some dinner. Aw. I almost barfed. :)

Bits/Pieces

Friday night was SO much fun! MJ & VW ended up being Britney Spears (complete with Chee-tos, pregnant tummy and much-dropped baby) and K-Fed (I swear, the guy is a dead ringer for K-Fed!). CN looked great in his Super Troopers costume. Vermont, our Rat Pack friend who happened to be in town, went as a character from Major League (please don't ask me who!). His roommate was a hunter and wore camouflage. The Runner was the Burger King and his friend (girlfriend?) was Kendra Wilkinson, one of the Girls Next Door. KT couldn't go because she was sick.

When we got to the party, there were lots of snacks and a keg. There were about 50 people there, I'd say, so it was a good crowd. Here were some of the costumes:

Little Red Riding Hood & Wolf (a couple -- cute idea, huh?)
Batman, Robin and the Joker (three friends)
Roman soldiers (complete with fake, bloody wounds)
a fairy (who smoked like a chimney, which was funny to me)
Jessica Rabbit
a witch
various X-Men characters
Indian princess (that was the hostess)
Dr. Seymour Bush (a "gynecologist" -- get it?)
cowboys/cowgirls
another Burger King guy
a female gangster
a flapper
Catholic school girl & guy (that was E & B)
Cleopatra
Coach Steve Spurrier
Dog, the Bounty Hunter
Borat

......and finally.........drumroll, please........the winner of the costume contest was a guy who dressed as this guy:

And from the moment he walked in, everyone knew he would win. The costume was just too funny. He was so tall he had to keep ducking in all the doorways.

Despite all of my Paris Hilton accessories, no one knew who the hell I was. Probably because I don't really look like her, even with a blond wig on. Oh well, it was still fun. MJ and I got into a Britney/Paris catfight and VW and CN tried to break it up. We got it on film for posterity's sake, you know. Then she and I made up and were friends.......until we got into another mock cat fight, also on film. It was fun. CN kept arresting everyone.

MJ's pregnant Britney belly was so well-done, some other girls at the party thought she was really pregnant, and when they saw MJ smoking and drinking, they were so offended, they went inside and talked smack! It wasn't until late in the party that they realized she just had a pillow taped to her tummy, so they ran out to tell us what they had thought, and we all had a good laugh.

CN was quite the little social butterfly that night, and I hardly got to talk to him! He was so busy talking to VW, Vermont, Vermont's roommate and The Runner, I didn't even realize he was getting trashed! By the time we left, he was slurring his words. He cracked me up the whole way home.

Somehow, we lost track of Vermont. Rumors circulated of he and Butter having hooked up (which bothered E, because she and Country Boy are on-again, off-again) but I am starting to think those rumors are not true. We still don't know where Vermont spent the night! There was a lot of confusion, drunkenness and phone calls going on. B & E thought we were all following them to a bar, but when we got there, we couldn't find anyone. So it was pretty chaotic by 3 am. No one knew where anyone was. We are still emailing about it, trying to get the facts straight.

CN and I crashed out hard-core and didn't wake up until about 11:30 the next day! I took a shower and then went out to lunch with his parents, who had me in stitches the whole time. After we ate, he and I were total couch potatoes for the rest of the day! I couldn't even stay awake for the USC/Tennessee football game -- CN had to keep waking me up for all the big plays!

And no, I DON'T want to talk about the game. Those refs made terrible calls and that last kick was total.......ok, that's all I'm going to say. *sniff!*

Speaking of USC, you have probably seen this in the news. Please keep these families in your minds today. It's such a sad story. My friend, Butter, knows the family that owns the house that burned down, so this hit pretty close to home for her. And please, since daylight savings is this weekend anyway, use this story as a reminder to check your fire alarms in your home.

Although I'm sad about the students and the football game, I'm going to try and focus on getting excited for Indiana Basketball!!!! The first exhibition game is this Sunday. I would like to just throw out there that the Hoosiers are ranked 9th in the ESPN/USA Today pre-season poll. So for all the UNC, Duke and Kentucky fans (my favorite teams to hate!)-- get ready!!!

But before all of that starts up, I have to say that I am the MOST excited about THIS new season, which starts tonight!!!!



I read in People magazine that there will be an episode this season where Julian McMahon does naked push ups!! Be still my beating heart!!!


Because I talk so much about Julian McMahon's hotness, I think CN is a little bit jealous! But he doesn't have anything to worry about. The chances of me ever meeting Julian are pretty slim. Besides, I highly doubt I'll ever have a conversation like this with Julian:

CN: Hey, I need to take you out on Thursday. We should do something nice.
Me: Oh....kay. Sounds good. But um....why?
CN: It's the first.

It will be our 2 month anniversary. What guy celebrates the 2 month anniversary???? I'm telling you, he's unreal. I didn't even realize the first of the month was our anniversary. Good grief.....

Thursday 13

I'm alive, but barely. I just wish I could mainline some caffeine. *yawn*

Sorry about my long absence, but I don't have much to report! Everything has been smooth sailing, really. Since it's Thursday, I will make this a list of 13 things that have been going on so you can catch up! And nothing is wrong -- I just used the cloud logo because it's very dreary and rainy here today. Which is not helping my sleepiness!

1. I have 88 people reading this! Woot! I feel special. I had to re-send some invites today, because the guest invite only lasts for 2 weeks, so if you have been using the guest access, please create an account or face my wrath.

2. I am E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D today. I stayed up late hanging out with CN on Tuesday night, went to trivia last night until 11:30 and tonight I will be up late again. On Friday, I'm meeting up with the Happy Hour Girls, so I won't get any sleep tomorrow either! Aack! Thank goodness for coffee! If I can just hold out for Saturday morning, I will finally catch up on sleep.

3. Things are still going swimmingly with CN. He is wonderful and I'm really really happy. I think this is the first guy I've ever dated where I literally have nothing to complain about, even after dating him for a month. I swear the guy can read my mind. He is thoughtful, fun, considerate, affectionate, honest, patient....I could go on and on. He has yet to let me down. Period. Maybe I should change his name from Cute Neighbor to Mr. Wonderful?? LOL ugh, I think I just barfed a little.

4. Of course, the Pessimistically Paranoid Voice in me is saying, "Ok, no one is this great. There's got to be something he's hiding from you. He likes to wear women's underwear. Or he doesn't want to have children. Or he doesn't see anything wrong with torturing animals. Maybe he's got bodies buried under his house. There's got to be SOMETHING!! Get him to spill it!!!" -- But I'm still not finding any evidence. He's just.......really nice and sweet. To everyone, even strangers. Very normal guy. Geeky and shy, but normal. There's just nothing bad about him, really. It's kinda freaking me out a little.

5. He got tickets to the USC/Kentucky game tonight! I am SO FREAKING EXCITED. The tickets are really hard to get, especially since we are ranked 11th now. And I really hate Kentucky, because they are a big rival of my alma mater, Indiana University. So I really want to see them get creamed tonight. It should be a really good game -- both teams have been doing better than usual this year. The game is being televised nationally (ESPN), so if you watch it, I will wave to you from the crowd! I'll be wearing the garnet-colored tshirt. :)

6. I am taking MJ, KT, VW, CN and his friend The Runner to a big Halloween party thrown by S (one of the Happy Hour Girls) every year. This is the 5th annual Halloween party, and everyone has to wear a costume. It should be really fun. MJ & I are going to be Sprockets and The Runner is going to be The King (as in, Burger King). I don't think anyone else has their costumes picked out yet. CN is thinking about growing a mustache and going as Tom Selleck's character from Magnum P.I., much to my dismay. He looks very strange with a mustache -- I've seen pictures. So I need ideas, people. I am very anti-CN-mustache. Help me!

7. Other fun fall activities we (ie, MJ, VW, KT, The Runner and CN & I) have planned include: going to the corn maze, going to "Scarowinds" (Carowinds, the closest amusement park, has special Halloween features this month) and going on a ghost tour. And then, next week, the SC State Fair comes to town. EEEEEEK!!! I love October and Halloween!!!!

8. My roommate E and her boyfriend B are in the midst of what will probably end up being Breakup #3. I feel really bad for them, because I think they are both great people, but I think they are very ill-suited for each other. They have very different families, religions and goals. There are some trust issues on his part (he snooped through her phone) and she has some ex-boyfriend issues (I don't think she's recovered emotionally from her ex, who is a complete asshole). She would never in a million years cheat on B -- that's not what I'm saying. I just think that maybe she's not ready to be close to someone emotionally right now. And his family doesn't like her and probably never will. To make it worse, when they pick on E, he rarely sticks up for her, which has been causing some problems for them. Throw in the fact that he will never leave SC and she wants to move somewhere else eventually, and you begin to wonder why they are dating in the first place. I do not doubt that they love each other, but sometimes love isn't enough. You have to be on the same page about stuff. And they just aren't. E is willing to call it quits, but B is kind of in denial and thinks they can work things out. Since they work together, E is worried how it will affect that situation, especially since B is the boss's son.

So, in a nutshell, it's a big ol' mess. I have been trying to support E and listen to her, because she is upset about all of this. I hate to see her upset right now, because she has a bunch of other personal problems at the moment. She's majorly stressed. I just really think they need to call it quits -- for GOOD. They both need someone who is better suited for them. Hopefully they will figure this out and both move on with their lives. Until then, I'll just have to keep baking her brownies! I think they are helping.

9. Butter wrecked her car the other day. She's fine, but her car is totaled. She doesn't know exactly what happened, because it all happened so quickly, but it sounds like she blew a tire and lost control of the car. She drove into a big ditch. She was a little shaken, but she's fine now.

10. CN's dad is in the hospital, about an hour away. I think I told you he has cancer. Yeah, it's not good. Anyway, CN's dad's back has been hurting. He thought it was just a pinched nerve or something, so he went to the doctor. It turns out he's got a tumor on his back. So he's in the hospital right now, getting biopsies and stuff. CN doesn't like talking about it, and I can tell he gets upset, so I don't like pressuring him for details. But he did mention that he may go down there tonight instead of going to the game, depending on how well his dad is doing. He also may go down to the hospital this weekend to stay with his parents. I told him that I will go with him if he wants me to. So hopefully everything will be ok.

11. Um, ok, how about something not so Debbie Downer-ish? I watched the Strangers with Candy movie the other night. If you liked the Comedy Central show with Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert, you will LOVE the movie. It's pretty funny.

12. Tomorrow night is the reunion of the Happy Hour Girls. We have all been so busy for the past few months, we haven't gotten together in ages. Now that the summer is over and we are all done with vacations and other things, we can start meeting up at Wild Wings again. I am very excited to have girl time!

13. I am reading two Neil Strauss books right now: The Game, which is about the Pick-Up Artist community, and The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band. CN is letting me borrow it. It's about one of my favorite 80s hair bands, Motley Crue. Have I ever told you I'm a huge Tommy Lee fan? I think he's hilarious and really interesting. Aside from all the hepatitis stuff, anyway.

CN saw my copy of The Game, and asked me about it. I explained the book a little to him. Now he's on a mission to steal it from me and read it. I told him he didn't need to worry about picking up any chicks right now. :)

Alright, now you're all caught up, my wonderful little readers! I hope everyone's having a great day! You think I put enough links in this post? LOL

I Think We're Alone Now

...the beating of our hearts is the only sound....

(anyone else remember Tiffany?? Haha, now you have that song in your head!)

Well, now that most of us are here, all I can say is:

Holy Lurking, Batman!!!

I tell ya, nothing brings the lurkers out more than making your blog private! Yesterday, when I got to work at about 1:30, I opened my email:

44 New Messages.

Holy Schnikes! That was a new record! And the emails just kept pouring in all day long! It was so cool, because I had NO CLUE I had so many lurkers. I thought that about 25 people read this thing on a regular basis. So far, it's more like 85! WOW. Now I know why my statcounter tells me someone is reading this in Montana, Raleigh, Canada, etc.

So I am saying a big HELLO to all of my lurkers out there. Thanks for lurking. I am flattered to have so many fans and wonderful fan mail! WOOT! I am amazed at your ability to keep your mouth shut and never leave comments! As you can tell, this is a skill I do not possess. So more power to ya.

Hopefully, we won't have to be all secretive and stuff for too long. I wish that Google would stop cacheing (sp?) my blog, too. It has a bunch of posts on there, but oh well. What can you do?

I'm sure you wall want a CN update. Because if you're anything like me, the love lives of virtual strangers are the most fascinating things EVER. So here is your update.

There is no update. I haven't seen him since our Sunday Smoochfest. Crazy, considering he lives across the street from me, I know. But we are both busy. I think he's getting kinda antsy, though, because he seemed really bummed when I couldn't hang out with him Wednesday or Thursday. Tee hee.

So instead, we have resorted to one of my specialties: communicating through obnoxiously flirty text messages and novel-length myspace comments. Barf, barf, I know.

On Saturday, I'm going to his house to watch the game (and I swear upon all things holy that if Blake Mitchell throws THREE interceptions this week, I will fly to Baton Rouge myself to personally kick his ass!!!).

Then we're going to my house so I can make him dinner, and he is entirely too excited about this. "Ok, I have to calm down. Let me think about baseball and Angela Lansbury for a minute..." he said, when I told him what I wanted to make. You'd think no one has ever made dinner for him before-- he was that excited.

Time for a totally unrelated and jarring change of subject. You know me!

I did some shopping the other day and had a fantastic, wonderful experience.

All my male readers are saying, "Oh great. I accepted the invitation for this?!" -- ha ha! Yes, I am talking about shopping again.

I have been lusting after this one pair of Steve Madden shoes for months. I think since about April. Every time I have gone to the mall, I have picked them up, held them to my chest and cooed over them. Alas, I was not willing to drop $60 on a spontaneous purchase. After all, it's not like I would wear them every day.

But Wednesday night, I walked into Dillard's to behold......SHOE CLEARANCE. *fans herself.*

I walked up to the section for my shoe size, and there they were in their full glory: the LAST pair of my shoes. In my size. For $23.

[insert chorus of singing angels and heavenly beam of light here.]

Needless to say, they are in my closet right now. Pair #62 (I think....) I just need to find a killer outfit to wear them with...

So I might go shopping after work today to see if I can find something perfect to wear with them tonight. MJ, KT and I (and yes, VW and CN are coming, too) are going out to dinner and then we're going to see our favorite local band. So it should be a fun night.

I might post again later on this afternoon, peeps. I promise it won't be as random and incoherent as this one. Because after re-reading this, I fear I should be on ritalin....

Tailgating

I left off with the Man Buffet that is Copper River on a Thursday night. W, YB and his buddies were with me. I would like to say that something cool happened, but...

1. We all know how non-existant and pathetic my dating life is. Let's not kid ourselves.
2. YB's buddies were successful in totally cockblocking me for the evening.

It would have been great if YB's buddies were hot or super fun, but they were only average in these areas. Oh well. At least they weren't stupid, annoying or drunk. W and YB invited me to tailgate the next day, and they told me to bring whomever. After about an hour, I was bored with talking to YB's buddies, so I went home. The End.

Yeah, I know. Totally lame. But it gets better.

On Friday evening, I was planning on going over to Cute Neighbor's house to invite him to go tailgating with me the next day. He wasn't home. So, I left a short note, telling him I'd be leaving around 3pm for the game.

Saturday, I ran a couple of errands and baked cheesecake for B's birthday. By 2pm, I had called all my friends to tell them that I was not going tailgating. (I hate driving down there and parking all by myself. It's no fun to do that alone. Since I'd given up on CN, and everyone else was already on their way down there, I gave up.) I continued puttering around my house. All my other friends already had plans, so I was resigned to spending the night on my couch, watching a movie with my dogs. No big deal.

At 3pm sharp, Cute Neighbor knocks on my door. He wants to know if I'm still going tailgating. EEK! Excitement and dread fill me: I am sweaty and disheveled from cleaning my house. My hair is dirty. Great.

"Uh, sure. Can I get ready really quickly, though?" I asked.

"Sure. Just come over when you're ready," he replied.

I took the quickest shower in history, threw my hair into a ponytail and refreshed my makeup. About 20 minutes later, I was ready to go, wearing my USC Gamecocks tshirt. We got in my car, and I gave him music selection duties. "You have really good taste in music," he said as he browsed through my CDs.

"Take THAT, Stuckey!" I thought. (Stuckey loves to tell me I have bad taste in music.)

Luckily, I remembered that I had to hit the ATM and get some cash for parking. Unluckily, I did not know that ATM cards have expiration dates on them, and mine expired two months ago. Shit. So that's why my bank sent me that new card....which I stuck somewhere.....note to self: find new ATM card.

I got back in the car and explained my little problem to him. He said he would pay for parking. I was kind of embarrassed, but he seemed totally ok with it. Whew. We made our way through the stadium traffic. Slowly.

For the next hour and a half, he and I talked and talked and talked. I feel very at ease around him, which is good. I didn't feel shy or very nervous at all. Whew. It was a nice relief. We talked about music, our families, our jobs and how we deal with stress. We even talked about our hobbies and our neighbors. Never at any point did we discuss my telephone number or going on a date. Great.

We finally found a parking spot, approximately 400 miles from where we needed to be. As we talked and walked, I was almost hit by a truck. How close? Let's just say they were honking at me. Oops. Between the ATM and playing in traffic, I was coming off as a total dingbat. I guess you can take away my blonde hair, but you cannot take the blonde out of me!

After 2 hours of travel time, we finally arrived at our destination. W, YB and his buddies from the night before greeted us. We had a pretty good time, talking and laughing and munching on goodies as we watched the game. The weather was great, too. The Gamecocks won, which was a nice end to the day.

Unfortunately, the only fireworks going on were over at the stadium endzones.

He's a super sweet guy, and he's really easy to hang out with, because he's so laid back. And we have quite a few things in common. But that is not enough for me. I have gotten the impression that he's a homebody, which doesn't mesh well with my social butterfly lifestyle. He had 8 hours to ask me out or get my number, and he didn't. There was a noticeable lack of flirtatious banter, which I really need to stay interested in a guy. Throw in the fact that he might be taking a job 2 hours away, and he's almost in that dreaded place that men hate: The Friend Zone.

Southern Survival 101: Football

I had originally entitled this post "Sports" until I realized, um, football is pretty much the only sport down here. (Unless you're from NC or KY, in which case, basketball is the only sport!)

Remember, I'm a girl, so I'm probably going to leave out important football statistics/names/events. I'm hoping my male readers will help me out on the bits I miss. While I loooooove football, I doubt I'll ever understand it or appreciate it as well as a man. (Wait, did my Southern belle just slip out?? Oopsie. Sorry, feminists!) So feel free to add to this in the comments.

We are not big on professional sports down here. Maybe the Braves. But that's about it. Getting tickets to the Braves isn't nearly as exciting as getting tickets to the Bowden Bowl. (That's when Clemson plays Florida State. The coaches are Tommy and Bobby Bowden.) Down here, it's college sports all the time. Especially football. Holy cow. I cannot begin to explain how important football is down here. EVERYONE goes to the game or watches the game. EVERYONE can recite to you which teams we beat this year and which teams we beat last year. Football coaches are gods in the towns where they live. You see, we lost The War, and we're determined never to lose anything again. Having a winning football team does make Robert E. Lee's surrender a little easier to bear. Ok, that's just a joke.

There is a joke that if a Southern college received $10 million, everyone would rather see the money go to the football coach's salary rather than research. Only, it's not really a joke. It's kinda true.

Recruiting stories will make the front page of the paper. You can even get RSS feeds about recruiting sent to your cell phone. Everyone in town can name the first and last names of the starting offensive lineup. People attend the practices. I am not kidding. The stands are full of people, watching the team practice. Coaches have their own tv shows. They endorse products. People know things about their college football coach that they don't know about their own neighbors. Example: Spurrier, the South Carolina coach, loves to drink Sprite and play golf. His wife's name is Jerri. (See?)

My big claim to Southern football fame is that my dad played for Bear. (If you don't know who I'm talking about, then you have no business even reading this post to begin with. I'm not even linking to the Wikipedia entry because you ought to be ashamed of yourself.) When guys ask me if I like football, I bluntly inform them of my pedigree and wait for their jaws to drop. Sometimes, they grab my arm and introduce me to all the other men in the room: "Hey! Did you know her dad played for Bear??" It's far more impressive than saying "Oh, my dad was an astronaut!" or "My dad was Superman!"

There are no weddings between late August and whenever the home team's season is over. I am not making this up. People won't come to your wedding if you set the date for the third Saturday in October. Everyone knows that's when Tennessee and Alabama play each other every year. And if they do attend your wedding, they will have the little headphones in so they can listen to the radio as you recite your vows. This isn't even considered to be all that rude. Other men in the audience will be tapping the guy on the shoulder, asking for the score. It doesn't matter if they are Tennessee or Alabama fans or not. It's a Saturday in the fall. That means there's an SEC or ACC game on. And if you cannot attend it, you watch it. If you can't watch it, you listen to it. Then you read about it in the paper tomorrow. There will be 6 pages recapping the game, not including the photos.

And don't even get me started on tailgating. That's a whole different story. It's basically as important as the game itself. I have seen 40" flat-screen TVs in the middle of parking lots, mobile homes decorated like red roosters (we are the Gamecocks, you know), parking slots/season tickets willed down through generations (as in, people put it into their wills and have separate bank accounts set aside for season ticket money), bonfires and fireworks. And beer. LOTS of beer and alcohol. Tons of food. Enough to feed an army. (Surprised??) And everyone will let you grab a piece of fried chicken as you walk by. Unless you're rooting for the other team. Then people might throw empty beer cans at your face. When the game is going on, you won't see anyone walking around or driving anywhere. Because they're either at the game, or at a bar, watching the game on TV. Or they are at home, watching it on TV. Having to work while a game is on is total torture for a Southerner. I have known people to call in sick, claim a family emergency or tell their bosses they are going out of town for family reasons on fall Saturdays. Just so they can watch the game at home. When the game is on, if you want to talk to someone, just text them or wait for the commercial break to come on. Please don't interrupt. They won't answer their phone, anyway.

Did you know? They have to re-direct traffic downtown on game days. Otherwise, it would take twice as long to get in/out of the stadium. It already takes about 2 hours just to get to the stadium. There are policemen and orange cones everywhere, to direct traffic. The game traffic routes make the evening news, because people need to know which roads are going to be one-way the next day. People usually start tailgating the night before the game. Again, I am not exaggerating.

People assume you know all the big rivalries: South Carolina and Clemson, Auburn and Alabama, VMI and The Citadel, Florida and Florida State, Virginia and Virginia Tech, etc. People also assume you know which teams belong to which conference. Don't expose yourself as an outsider by asking if Texas is playing Georgia this weekend. Oh, and you need to learn the home team's fight song and accompanying hand gesture ASAP or you might not get very many party invites. At the very least, you'll feel left out when the entire stadium starts singing and you have to just stand there. While you're at it, better know the slang terms for all the mascots. You'll need to know what the following terms refer to: Tide, Hokies, Wahoos, Noles, Jackets, Heels, Canes, Terps, Pack, Keydets. You've got to know what the Golden Boot is and what the Tiger Rag is. You need to know which teams are involved in The Oldest Rivalry in the South. You need to know where The Valley of Death is. So study up if you are lost right now.

Ladies, don't forget to dress up and wear your team's jewelry when you go to the game. Little shops around town sell silver jewelry engraved with the team logo. You need to get some if you want to be official. And you don't wear sweatshirts or flip flops to football games, girls. You have tickets to the game. There's only so many games per year. It's a big event. I mean, if you're going to the Georgia-Florida game, it's even called "The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party." Besides, we are Southern. That means we look cute all the time. You have to do your hair and wear heels. If it's cold, you can wear a slim-fitting turtleneck, jeans and stiletto boots. If it's hot, wear a sundress and heels. Just make sure you're wearing team colors and you look pretty. Besides, every eligible bachelor in town is at the game, anyway. You want to look good. Trust me. What do you mean you don't know how football works? What do you mean you don't like to watch it? Oh dear. So much for your social life next fall. Better get on that, sugar. Just don't tell anyone you think "false start" refers to your menstrual cycle. Keep that to yourself.

If you're single, don't be surprised if someone won't date you because you're a fan of the "wrong" team. Here in Columbia, headquarters for all things Gamecock, it's one of the first questions asked on a first date. "Wait, did he go to USC or Clemson?" I have asked before being set up on dates. If anything, I want to make sure to avoid wearing the wrong color or bringing up the wrong team. It can lead to an argument at worst or an awkward silence at best. And first dates are hard enough as it is. For a Gamecock to be fixed up with a Clemson fan just wouldn't work. They are too different. I mean, how are you both supposed to go to games together? It would be a long distance relationship each fall. And for parts of basketball season. You'd be fighting over the remote all the time, because those teams aren't even in the same conference. Not to mention all the harassment from friends and family about it. It's just easier to date your own kind. Yes, I am kidding. But some people really won't do it!

Similarly, families, generation after generation, hold strong loyalties to their schools. You'll hear of people being 4th generation Bulldogs or 6th generation Gators. To go to any other school is simply unthinkable. And you can forget Mom and Dad helping you pay for it. You've committed the ultimate betrayal. It would be a tragedy in a Mississippi State family if their youngest child decided to buck tradition and attend Arkansas. Fat Dog almost transferred from VMI to Virginia Tech, and The Czarina almost fainted when he told her. "Oh, God! I will never be able to tell my friends! I'll have to tell them you've just transferred to UVA or something. Oh, God! A hokie! In my family!" -- I am quoting this. There is no exaggeration on my part, y'all. For pete's sake, my my mother was the sweetheart of the UVA Zeta house in the late '60s! For her son to go to Virginia Tech???!! Unthinkable!! You see, my parents are both UVA fans. (My dad went there before transferring to Bama. He later went back and got 2 more degrees from UVA. My mom didn't go there, I think because UVA was still all-male at the time. However, she spent almost every weekend partying at UVA. So my family is most definitely NOT a Virginia Tech family.)

Here's another good tip: if you are visiting/moving/living here in the fall, it's a good idea to realize what you wear can say a lot. Similar to gangs in south central Los Angeles, what color you wear is important, and could get you killed. Wear deep reddish orange (Clemson's color) to a South Carolina game, and drunk people might try to punch you. I am not exaggerating. So if you don't want to be hassled, wear pink. It's the only color that doesn't correspond to any teams down here. Not only is it important to know which colors to wear/not wear, it's also imperative that you know which shade is the home team's shade. There's a huge difference between Duke "Blue Devil" blue and UNC's "Carolina blue". You can't just throw on any old blue shirt and expect people to know which team you favor. And when South Carolina plays Alabama, you'd better realize that a true Carolina fan will know the difference between garnet (SC) and crimson (AL). So get it right. Because if you are wearing Tennessee "Chee-to" orange to a Clemson game, and you try to pass yourself off as a Tiger fan, someone's gonna call you out. Trust me.

And don't think you can get away with knowing only the primary team color. You should also learn the 2ndary color so you don't confuse/offend anyone.

When in doubt, tell people you're a tiger fan. That covers LSU, Jackson State, Texas Southern, Clemson, Hampden-Sydney (I guess this is only important in Virginia, actually) and Auburn. So you'd be physically safe in 6 states, if you were forced to pick a team on the spot. If not a tiger fan, tell people you're a bulldog fan. That way, you're safe in GA, MS, AL (Alabama A&M) and SC (SC State and The Citadel's mascot is the Bulldog). You could also just say you like "The Aggies" and let the other person decide if you mean Texas, Florida or North Carolina. Whatever you do, never confess to disliking football. OMG, talk about social suicide. You'd be ostracized. Possibly jumped, depending on how many beers the men have had by that point in the day. Fake it if you have to. I have known a Gamecock fan who got into a fist fight when the stranger standing next to him began singing the Clemson fight song. (Long-time readers of this blog may remember to whom I am referring.) You have no idea how seriously we take this stuff. Remember the bonfire that killed several students after the Texas-Texas A&M game a few years back? Remember the massive fist fight between fans after the Clemson-South Carolina game about 2 years ago? The goal posts were torn down, I think. It was so bad, neither team was allowed to go to bowl games that year. We are out for blood, people.

What about other sports? Basketball only exists because we need something to do until football season starts up again. And there really aren't any other sports. Unless you are talking about high school football. Which is almost as important as college football. Ever seen Varsity Blues? It's very accurate. High school (and even middle school) football is important to us, because we know we're watching future players for Mississippi State, Texas, Georgia or Virginia Tech. It's history in the making. Today's high school record pass-thrower is tomorrow's starting quarterback at Florida State.

There are rumors of hockey teams existing in the South, although we only go to the games because we are amazed that a block of ice can last that long down here, and we want to see it for ourselves. Plus, we like the fights. It reminds us of the parking lots during football tailgates. And the hockey tickets were free. Other than that....we have no idea what the hell is going on. "Wait, don't they sell beer there? Ok, I guess I'll go. If I have nothing better to do," a Southerner will say.

Some schools get into lacrosse or basketball. Some even get into baseball or golf. But truly Southern schools know there is only one sport. Everything else is just to kill time until the next pigskin matchup. Which people are counting down to on their calendars. You think I'm making this up. People record the football games off of the tv so they can watch the games over and over again throughout the year. The coach's strategy in Saturday's game is the number one topic at watercoolers all over the state on Monday mornings.

Let's see. What else. No one here knows how to ski or ice skate. No kids own sleds. Nothing like that. But most people know how to water ski. And fish. Our athletic activities are dictated by our climate. So not a lot of people even watch the winter Olympics. We just don't really "get" speed skating. Why not just watch NASCAR?

But most importantly, everyone knows you're supposed to shut the hell up during the third down, and offer to grab beers for everyone else if you get up.

And as a side note to Charming -- We will find out whose mascot kicks whose ass on September 22nd. Wait, isn't your team's color purple? That's kind of a girly color, don't you think? ;)

(Oh yes, the smack talk is starting already, folks!!!)

News of the Weird

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.--Mark Twain (attributed)

Follow-up to the last post: So, I found this article, courtesy of XY of Team Richardson. I found it very helpful and relative to my question about how to know if you are good in bed.

Also today I read this article--how bizarre! It makes me think of the phrase "Green Eggs and Ham" in a whole new way...

This next weird news story pertains only to hard-core Sex and the City fans like myself. In season 2, do you remember when Carrie was dating the short story writer, and while he was ok, she really fell in love with his family? His mother was played by Valerie Harper. They ended up breaking up because he suffered from PE (pre-mature ejaculation) and didn't want to discuss it. Imagine my amazement when I watched it yesterday and realized that the actor playing the role of Vaughn looks just like Disrespectful Dan! Wierd!

Here in SC, we are having really nice weather. I'm talking 70s. In January. Also wierd.

Last night had all kinds of wierd stuff. I went out with my friends, XX and XY (aka Team Richardson) and Stuck. It will probably start to be a weekly Wednesday event--I like to call it Hump Night. :) We always have great conversations, especially about relationships. Team R is married and Stuck and I are single, so there are several perspectives. (If you'd like to read Stuck's take on the evening, you can read it here.) I learned something about men: they pay attention to how a woman walks. I had no idea. Apparently I have a good walk. Good to know, I guess. I wonder what else they pay attention to? (I know, XY, you said, "Duh! Everything!")

As we talk, we eat dinner, watch whatever game is on (IU lost to Michigan State last nite * VB is very sad*), we participate in the bar's trivia contest and play pool. Last night we saw some wierd things: a guy who was at the bar playing trivia apparently alone (I love trivia too, but sheesh!), a woman who brought her baby to the bar (who does that? just how redneck are they?) and my sudden & unexplainable abilities at playing pool. I think there was something in the air.

This isn't wierd, but I have to vent for a moment: Bigfoot is still driving me batty. He still has yet to wash his hands, cook food that doesn't stink or do anything quietly. He is really nosy about my love life, because I'm sure he is hoping I'll accidentally bring home some gay guy for his desperate ass. I have stopped introducing him to my dates because he always makes some comment about how cute their butts are or asks me if I've had sex with them yet! (For the record, I'm not a slut who gives it up after the first date and besides, it's none of your business, Bigfoot!) To his credit, he has been taking out the trash. But now I think I might start doing it. He almost threw away a box of my stuff I keep in the garage! I was leaving for work on trash day and saw it. WTF? It was a box full of picture frames and candles. Why would someone throw that away? Wouldn't you ask someone about that first? Maybe this explains what happened to my Eminem CD....

On a funny note, I have gotten Athletic Girl to start calling him Bigfoot! And he answers to it now! Ha!

79 more days. Just 79 more days. Everyone keep the first weekend in April free! Party @ VB's!

But the Prize for Wierdest Story of the Day goes to this hum-dinger: FexSexy called me. I swear, men have ESP. I had just really resigned myself to get over it and was not even thinking about him at all when--boom!--he calls, right as I'm leaving to go to Hump Night. Aaaarrgh! Get me off this rollercoaster! It's killing me! Athletic Girl was teasing me about it. She says I get all giggly and sweet-talky when he calls. She does this hilarious impression of me on the phone with him. I wish you could hear it! I probably do sound just like that!

He has been extremely busy, methinks, because he said he was exhausted and had just now gotten a moment of spare time. (For anyone who doesn't know, he is in training to become a State Trooper and so he is at this sort-of boot camp thing where he isn't allowed to go anywhere until the weekend. But he can use his phone after 6pm!) So, as much as I hate to admit this to my inner skeptic, I guess all this time he was just busy. Stuck and XY think he just has a lot on his plate right now and he's trying to figure out where to fit me in. He is coming over tomorrow evening (Friday) to hang out with me before he leaves town to go visit his Dad. While I am pleased that he made plans more than an hour in advance this time, I'm still hoping for a real date. One where I have time to look nice, we go out in public and share a meal. I'm going to be patient, though. I've made it this far. He must be interested. We can always do that some other time. Whew! I'm so much more calm now. And pretty stoked, I must say. I guess this is just how he operates. I'll deal. I just needed some occassional reciprocation, you know?

I'm thinking.... I'm going to tell FedSexy I'm not interested in dating anyone else. What do you think? I'm wondering if he is not prioritizing me much because he's under the impression I'm seeing other people. (I'm not anymore. I was though, when he asked me about it.) If so, I can't blame him. I'd probably do the same.

Tomorrow I'm taking the afternoon off thanks to some comp time. Lunch, ice cream and a pedicure with my coworker, K, and then home for smooches with FedSexy!

The Process of Elimination?

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day...and another in case it doesn't rain.--Mae West

I say this because I think I'm dating two guys I will end up liking a lot. Just when I get bummed out about dating, I suck it up, get back on the horse and suddenly things are actually going pretty well. I think I just needed to have a good date to get in a more optimistic frame of mind. Granted, I don't seem to meet guys in any storybook fashion, but so far they are great, which is what matters. You have to kiss a lot of frogs when it comes to match.com, I suppose! I've already mentioned Danger Dan. So I will fill you in on my other good date, after I update ya'll on some other stuff.

My last post was about Friday night. Saturday morning I worked and then went to the gym. I got home in time to watch the IU basketball game (We spanked Kentucky! Take THAT, Ashley Judd!) . Then I went out with a new friend, one of my favorite things to do. You can learn so much about someone the first time you party with them. I was the only girl in the group, which is really fun if you are with nice guys, which I was. We went to this place called Local's, which is normally filled with college kids, but since most college kids have gone home this time of year, it was filled with lots and lots of hot guys!!!! I think I may have gotten a little bit of whiplash from checking them out. I am definitely going to hang out here again, if only for the eye candy. One of cutest guys there was an acquaintance of my friend, so I will try and get the scoop on him later. I didn't want to get into that kind of discussion the first time hanging out with someone--it would have felt rude. The only bad thing about the evening was that it ended much too soon. We had a great time, and now I have three new friends.

Sunday, I woke up feeling terrible. I made the oh-so-intelligent decision to smoke a lot of cigarettes on Saturday night, so I was hurting when I got up. Plus, I had to get up after only six hours of sleep because I was going to Charleston with K. [Note to anyone who has never been to Charleston--make plans to visit. It rox my sox.] K.'s boyfriend lives down there and so we went to hang out with him and his friend. The four of us had a really good time. We laughed a lot and all got along really well. The boyfriend's friend and I had a lot in common, so that was good. No sparks, but he's a really nice guy. The four of us did some Christmas shopping, caught a movie and had dinner. The movie was pretty good. It was about a guy who was stuck in The Friend Zone (TFZ). So it was pretty funny. One of the things discussed in the movie was how if you are interested in a girl, you shouldn't ask her out to lunch. Daytime dates are for friends. Taking a girl to dinner indicates you are interested in her. Hmmm...food for thought. I think there is probably something to that.

So I got home and promptly fell asleep. I was exhausted!

Last night, I went to Starbuck's to meet Cute Trey. He hugged me when we met, and let me tell you, Cute Trey smells very dee-lish. Mmmm......He had these cute little glasses on and nibbly little lips... I definitely want to smooch on him....some day. I asked him if he had been at Local's on Saturday and he said he had. I told him I saw him there, but didn't want to say hi in case it wasn't him. I guess I was too shy. He told me I looked better in person, which I didn't know how to take. That was sort of a back-handed compliment. We had a really good conversation. There was definitely chemistry and laughter on both sides of the table. It turns out, we watch all of the same tv shows. Good to know we'll never fight over the remote! We had some other stuff in common too, but I won't bore you with the details. Just let me say that he is a very motivated individual who is trying to be a good, hard-working and educated human being. I got no wierd vibes from him, which is very good. I'm kind of wondering why he is single, actually. So I will definitely be seeing him again. Maybe this weekend....I'll keep you posted.

I also talked to Danger Dan last night. I call him Danger Dan because he has a motorcycle and is on a special disease outbreak haz-mat team, so if any terrorists ever released smallpox on Columbia, he'd be the one to call because he is trained in handling situations like that. So cool! We made plans to hang out tomorrow night and I'm pretty excited. He has boyfriend potential, which is a term I don't throw around a lot. At first I thought he might have a Mickey Mouse voice, which is a big turn-off, but it must have been my imagination. I'm looking forward to seeing him again. :)

So far, no email from Mark, the guy I approached when waiting for Danger Dan. I hope he will email me. Maybe he is doing that whole 3-day wait thing that guys do.

I also talked to The Pharmacist--I called him, which is something I don't usually do. He's such a sweetie. We are both pretty busy, so I don't know when we will get together.

I can't tell you where to place your bets. The odds are pretty evenly matched. I feel like I'm stuck in my own real-life episode of Elimidate! I'm sure it's just a matter of time before someone pulls ahead.

Well, that's about it for now. I know this post wasn't the most entertaining, but I like to keep my readers up-to-date. I'm sure I'll do something stupid soon and have a funny story to relate. Until then....

Deleted Scenes (formerly Minor Updates)

Just realized there are some little things I haven't told you guys...

I went and saw the IU Basketball game last week with SWG (remember him?). We met up at Bailey's, a good sports bar here in Columbia. Although IU lost (I hate stupid Duke--sorry, Blonde Nurse! I know you're a fan.) to Duke by about 5 points, that was not really the worst part of the evening. Yet again, SWG asked me absolutely no questions. Nothing at all indicated that he wished to get to know me better. In fact, he hardly looked at me. He watched and commented on the game the entire time. I kept wanting to ask him, "Um, why did you agree to do this? You obviously aren't enjoying my company. Although, you wouldn't know if you do since you haven't asked me a single question." and I thought to myself, "Why don't I leave and go watch this at home?" Situations like this really tick me off, so of course, in my own little vindictive way, I wanted him to be ticked off too. So I bought some cigarettes and proceeded so light one up, saying, "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?" And he just got this fairly annoyed look on his face and went back to the game. I wanted to announce to the entire bar, "Trust me, if you were on this date, you'd be smoking too." Another example of male behavior I just don't get.

MIA did bring me soup yesterday. It was made from scratch and it was delicious. He stayed and talked to me for about a half hour and then he left. He had to drive about 35 minutes to get to my house, so he scored some brownies points, I have to say. He also told me that he is currently dating someone who lives in another town, but it isn't going well. I thanked him for his honesty because really, he never had to tell me that. But it does make me a little hesitant to start anything with him, because I think he's been dating her for a while. It would be different if he was just casually seeing her, but this is at least a 2 month thing. So for now, he will have to stay in the friend zone. But it's really more of a holding-pen at this point. :)

I talked to The Pharmacist last night. I mentioned him in a previous post, but I didn't give him a nickname. He is the very first guy I met face-to-face via match.com. He is sorta-kinda losing his hair, which I don't really go for, but he is so sweet--he helps his elderly neighbor with her groceries! How can you not love the guy?! And we have pretty good conversations, so I think I may give him another shot. He will at least have a solid position in TFZ (The Friend Zone).

Last night I called Danger Dan to set up our time & place for a happy hour drink today. He has a Mickey Mouse voice. This does not bode well. I'm glad I only committed to drinks. A review will be coming shortly...

I'm supposed to be going out to dinner with The One That Got Away tonight. Just as friends, I assure you. We haven't seen each other in several months, so it's a catch-up sort of thing. After dealing with the men I've been dealing with lately, I really need to sit across a table from an attractive man who knows how to flirt. Even if nothing comes from it.

I can't go out and play tonight because I have to work Saturday morning. :( It's just for three hours, so it's not a big deal. Then I'll probably hit the gym, come home to watch the game (Go Hoosiers!!) and make some plans for going out. Sunday (or Saturday night) I'm going to Charleston with K, my coworker. She is super cool. I just love her to pieces. Her boyfriend lives down there, and he has a friend he wants to set me up with. So that should be a good time.

(Note to DD: K's boyfriend is in the Navy, as is his buddy. The boyfriend is getting shipped off to "Sandy Eggo" in May! Small world!)

The Bad Girl Weekend

You're trying my shoes on for a change.
They look so good but fit so strange.

--No Doubt, "Sunday Morning"

This is a tale of role reversal. Normally, I can say I behave in a manner which befits a lady. This weekend was not that time. I ate too much, I smoked too much. I had questionable morals. And it was everything I hoped it could be. Yes, dear readers, it was Bad Girl Weekend. I have decided to allow myself to have such a weekend every so often. Repression is never a good thing.

I picked an action-packed weekend to get re-acquainted with my inner college student: three dates, some football watching and plans for going out with friends to our favorite hangouts. Just in time, all my nails broke and my face broke out like a 12 year-old. Perrrrrfect.

Let me begin with Friday...

Second date with a really funny and talkative guy. His name rhymes, so I'll call him Dr. Seuss. Little did he know he was really taking out Bad Girl. (insert sinister laugh and vigorous rubbing of hands here). He took me to The Rhino Room, which is a pretty swanky bar. Not your typical go-there-every-weekend bar. We had a drink and then headed over to Hennessey's for dinner. It was also a nice place. Great food. I had plenty of time to eat it because Dr. Seuss completely dominated the conversation. It is impossible to get a word in edgewise. Now, I believe you can learn more with your mouth shut, but come on. This guy just likes to hear himself talk. Conversations are supposed to involve two people. This was like having dinner with a verbal fire hose. Suddenly, a crazy thought crossed my mind: Oh my gosh. This is how men must feel when women won't shut up.

Oh, this was only the beginnings of the role reversal. After dinner, we were both tired and decided to make it a Blockbuster night. We both like horror movies. The irony of it strikes me only now, but we rented The Grudge. Later on, I would form one. Against him. But I digress. We went back to his apt where I got to see his decorating style up close and personal. It was very in-your-face and hard to take in all at once, sort of like him. There were lots of big, hard, sharp and breakable objects. No softness, really. It was all very nice-looking, but uninviting and lots of things seemed to be placed at wrong angles and awkward positions. I noticed a large (I'm talking 15 lb. jar) of creatine on top of his fridge, expensive skincare in his bathroom and a Kama Sutra book on his bedside table. At this point I'm thinking This must be how guys feel when they see pink lightbulbs and leopard print everything in a girl's apartment. What kind of message are they trying to send? This feeling overshadowed the remainder of the evening. I may form a new theory about male interior decorating. But that is for a different post. So I attempt to get comfortable on his bright red brick of a couch. Some snuggling. Decent movie. The end credits roll...and I began Bad Girl Weekend. (I'm not going to kiss and tell, so give up that pipe dream right now!) I will say it was PG...ish. ;) At that time, something about him was still bugging me, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I just wanted to get out of there. After making out with him, of course.
As we were leaving, I noticed a book, The Truth About the Irish. I told him I almost bought that book the other day (It turns out we are both of Irish descent). He let me borrow it. Again, the irony was apparent only later.

He dropped me off. On his way home, he lost his mind.

Meanwhile, I got a last-minute call from a friend's brother (we'll call him Kermit). His date to the football game (South Carolina vs. Florida) had to cancel, so he was calling to see if I was free. Actually, he was on his way to my house. ETA: 10 minutes. Well...what could I say? I hopped in the shower. Then we went to the game. This was the first time I had really hung out w/Kermit one-on-one. It was also my first USC game. We had a blast! He is very funny and made me feel really welcome and comfortable. He was not at all a jerk like I had originally thought. I told him that and then immediately regretted it, because he ribbed me about it the rest of the day. I replied by informing him that this was not a date.

We partied at a Cockaboose with some of Kermit's coworkers. Although technically I was his date by default, we are just friends. He even went so far as to tell people he felt "no chemistry" when we met. Gee, thanks. But I guess we are even now for my jerk comment of earlier. Aside from fielding "So, how long have you two been dating?" questions, we had a blast! I met a whole new crew: Funny Party Guy, FPG's girlfriend, Blonde #1, Blonde #2, and my friend's ex (MFX), who is dating Blonde #2. I was not expecting to run into MFX, but that's how this town is--after three years, you pretty much know someone everywhere you go. I proceeded to begin smoking and eating junk food upon arrival. Ah, Bad Girl Weekend. Then it was time for the game, so Kermit and I went up to our seats. That's when things got awkward for him. Because we were sitting directly behind his ex. And her husband. (I'm telling you, this town is small!) I told him later I would have played along if he had introduced me as his girlfriend. But we still had a good time. Kermit is one of those guys who doesn't mind answering all the dumb girl questions about sports, and I appreciate that. But I can follow football decently enough. And this was a great game. It's a good time to be a Gamecock fan.

After the game, we went back to the Cockaboose. Everyone congregated there to decide the next step in the victory partying. It was not looking like the group would be heading to the part of town (the Vista) where my friends, The Nurses, were going to be. So I was in the middle of deciding what to do and who to call back when Dr. (now Crazy) Seuss called. I told him it was kind of a bad time, and could I call him back tomorrow? He got off in a huff. This must be how guys feel when girlfriends get mad at them for going out with the guys. But I didn't really have time to think about it much, though, because we were leaving to go to Cock's Corner (really just a parking lot with a band) and I didn't want to leave the Nurses hanging. So I was telling Kermit about all this, and he said he would talk to the Nurses and tell them he had kidnapped me. Or at least that is what he told me he said. Off we went. We went to Rockaway's for a while--again, my first time going there. Another cool place. Known for great burgers.

The Football Crew is awesomely fun. It was one of those great nights where everyone is having a great time and laughing so hard you feel you might get a hernia if they don't stop saying hilarious things. We all said we have to do it again this weekend. I can't wait. So this is why guys go to games all the time. Although this week, there is no way I will get tix because it is USC vs. Clemson. That's ok, the Cockaboose has closed-circuit TV. Yesss!

I was really tired, and Kermit had to drive back to Greenville, so I was home around 10pm. I had just washed my face and put on my pjs. I was getting ready to do one of my favorite things ever: fall asleep in front of the tv. That is, until Dr.Crazy Seuss called. This must be how guys feel when their girlfriends are really clingy and call them when they are exhausted. He told me how "my" man had won an arm-wrestling contest that evening and how he wanted to come by and "give me a goodnight kiss". The following thoughts instantly hit my brain:

1. Why did I answer my phone?
2. You are not my man. We have been on two dates.
3. You really did lose your mind on the way home, didn't you?
   
4. I have no makeup on. (I try to keep up the I-really-look-like-this illusion for as long as possible with new datees.)
5. That is evidence of clinginess, which is a big turn-off.
6. No.
   
7. No.
8. No.

He was really dead set on this, and the more dead set he got, the more annoyed I became. Then, his true colors (funny, they look just like red flags!) began to show...

Dr. Seuss: I'm feeling blown off.
Me: I'm not blowing you off. I'm tired, I smell like bar and I'm really about to go to bed.
Dr. Seuss: I just want a kiss.
Me: I just spent all of last night with you. That was your time. I set the whole evening aside for you.
Dr. Seuss: I'm getting the feeling you are dating other people.
Me: That's true. I am talking to some other people.
Dr. Seuss: Well, I don't compete for women. And I don't like feeling like I'm an appointment you have penciled in on your calendar.
Me: Well, that's too bad. I'm a busy girl. I thought we had a pretty good time, but if that's how it is...
Dr. Seuss: Yeah, that's how I work. If I'm going to be with someone, I expect them to be with only me. That's how you focus on the relationship and get to know someone.
Me: Yes, eventually. Not after two dates. This must be how guys feel when women give them ultimatums.

And the conversation was all downhill from there. He hung up on me. Oh no you di-dant! I called him back and said I did nothing to deserve that. He denied having hung up on me! I didn't buy it for a second. Ah, so this is how it feels when women play "No, nothing's wrong!" I said if he was as interested in me as it seemed, he never would have hung up on me and he certainly wouldn't have pressured me into doing something I was not ready for. He backpeddled. His possessiveness and need for total control became really evident. That's what was bugging me! He always had to be in control and force himself upon me whether I liked it or not. That's why he was always Mr. TMI, that's why his furniture was so loud...it all made sense. He suffers from personality rape syndrome. And the ultimatum he gave me did not win him any points. All it did was irritate me. Two dates? You want me to put all my eggs in one basket after two mediocre dates where you talked my friggin ear off? Puh-leez. Relationships should not be that difficult to get off the ground.

He has called me twice today. I did not answer my phone, but I listened to my voice mail. I was under the impression that we were over, but according to his message, that entire conversation never took place. How's that backpeddling for you? I'm keeping his book. Boy did I learn the truth about the Irish!

Prediction: He will randomly call me three weeks from now using the book as an excuse to get his foot in the door with me.

The next day, I did not go to church. Bad Girl doesn't do church. She doesn't go to the gym either. She eats donuts for breakfast and sits in her pjs until 2pm. Then it is time for the third date with Small World Guy. He is called SWG because he and I have lived in all the same towns, went to the same school, know some of the same people and go to the same gym. (Hearing that Twilight Zone theme song yet?) Somehow, we had never met. SWG and I went to Liberty's, one of my favorite hangouts--great food. SWG is an attractive, nice guy and needless to say, we had a lot to talk about. Well, he did. I basically interviewed him. I know about his family, his dad's love of history, some crazy partying he has done, what life was like in each town... I stopped listening after about 10 minutes. I am chalking it up to nerves. He is a nice guy, so he will get a second chance. But I was not feeling much of a spark on either side of the table. Hopefully, because he is cute, next time there will be some flirting and question asking from his side of the booth. Or else this isn't going to work either.

Prediction: his flirtier, question-asking side will remain MIA and he will become a friend who will watch IU basketball games with me. And will hopefully introduce me to his cute friends.

Of course, I was not done being bad just because it was Sunday afternoon. Of course, I had to stick it to someone about the Florida loss to USC. I only knew one Florida fan. The Big Ex. Carrie had her Big, I have my Big Ex. What better way to be bad than to call an ex? It's so unhealthy and self-indulgent. (Those are Bad Girl's favorite words). We talked a couple months ago, but it did not go that well. He said I had called at a bad time. This time, it was a great conversation. It was great because of what was left unsaid. The things we would say to each other if we didn't care about getting hurt. The implied compliments. The vaguely supportive comments. The off-handed way we asked about each other. The seemingly laid-back tone of voice. And the telling silences. It was a great conversation. We might see each other next month at a mutual friend's house.

After that, I went to dinner with the Nurses. It was great to catch up with them and share all of our busy weekend adventures with one another. Blonde Nurse told me about the new guy she's talking to and the one she has on the side. She played it off like they were just friends, but we called her out! Brunette Nurse whipped out not one but two packs of cigarettes out of her purse after dinner! Brunette does not smoke. I did a double take. It turns out I was eating dinner with Bad Girls!