Greetings, readers! Flattered any of you are still here, as always. I have many many updates for you, as a lot has changed since my last post. I'll do my best to be brief. I think I am in love. I am in love with Richmond. I should have moved here YEARS ago. I have met so many great people, I get to see my family all the time and there's always something fun to do here. It's a great size, there's great shopping and restaurants, there are lots of young people and so much to explore. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm done moving. I don't see myself leaving RVA any time soon. I'm so much happier here than I was in Savannah.
Have I talked about my job at all? I can't remember. I don't like my job. I miss my old job in Savannah. I had things to do there. I felt like I was with a team and we all had projects and ideas to work on together. Here....not so much. I strive to fill my day with something, anything. The work is not challenging at all (seriously, you could have a high school diploma and do what I do at this gig). I spend most of my day totally alone, which does NOT work for me, because I'm a social person. I don't really supervise anyone, even though technically I am supposed to. First of all, the people I supposedly supervise don't need me because no one uses our library. We can go for days at a time when no one even comes in. Second of all, my boss signs their time sheets and approves their leave, leaving me with nothing to use for ammo when it comes to supervising them. I really like my boss as a person, and she likes me, but I don't think she's a very good supervisor. I don't think she likes being the supervisor, either. There are so many things I could say about this job -- I am just scratching the surface, honestly. I should devote a whole post to it one day. I don't mean to complain, as I am grateful for this job, and it is extremely low-stress, but as a good friend of mine stated when I was describing my new job to her: "Wow, what a complete waste of your talents and abilities." It's not that this is a bad job. It's just not a good fit for me. I plan on changing careers with my next job. To what? I have no idea.
One of the things that is kind of awesome about this new job, though, is that for the first time in my life (yes, since my first job at age 15), I do not work nights or weekends. This, combined with the barely-40 hours a week and the low stress levels of this job means I can really focus on getting back in shape and my social life, which is what I want to do in a new town anyway. Yipee!! (I have already lost about 15 pounds. WOOT!)
After a few months of loneliness/dating douchebaggery, I found a group just for women in their 30s. There was a happy hour event in March, so I went, halfway dreading it because I was worried they'd all be married mothers and I'd end up getting invited to baby showers (no offense to any mothers reading, but attending baby/wedding showers stopped being fun for me about 6 years ago. They only serve as reminders of how I am not where I want to be at age 33. But don't get me wrong -- I am happy for you. I just want to mail a card instead. Is that ok?). So I get to this happy hour event, and end up sitting next to a group of girls who are all my age, all single/childless/never married AND most of them just moved back to Richmond after living away for some time. Ding ding ding! We have a winner! 4 of us really hit it off, and we've been hanging out ever since. They are so much fun and it's so awesome to see that you're not the last single 33 year old woman in the world. Every time this group gets together, we meet more cool girls, so my social circle is expanding all the time. Sweet!!!
But I am not just relying on them for my social life. There are daughters/sons of friends of my mom who I have been meeting, too. I met with one of them for after-work drinks the other day. I was especially excited to meet with her, because I hadn't seen her since I was in about 8th grade, I was told she's super fun and also because The Czarina told me she would have good career advice for me. And she did! But what I wasn't expecting was that she's also all about fixing people up. Score! A few minutes into our conversation, she asked me if I'm single. I nodded. "You have to meet ____." I asked her to tell me about him.
He sounds awesome! Smart, kind, funny, attractive, no kids/ex-wives, owns his own home, from Richmond, close to his family but not too close, has a good job, he's the same age as me.....so why wasn't SHE interested in him? After all, she's 33 and single, too. "He's not my type. I can see why people would say he's attractive, and he is. But I'm not attracted to him. He's like a brother to me. I've known him for years and years."
"So why is he single?" I asked. There had to be a catch.
"Well, he was engaged about a year or two ago. Then, out of nowhere, she broke it off. He was pretty crushed, because he didn't even see it coming. Actually, none of us saw it coming. Then he dated this other girl for a while, and she ended up getting back with her ex....so he's had a rough go of it."
"Poor guy. He sounds great, though. Sure, fix me up," I said.
"Ok, let's do this right now," she said, getting out her phone.
"Like, right now? Do I have time to brush my hair?" I asked.
She laughed. "No, I mean like let's set it up right now." She began texting him. "Are you free tomorrow?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Ok, he's free, too. You're meeting him here tomorrow at 7," she stated matter-of-factly.
And just like that -- BOOM -- I had a blind date.
We have our second date tonight. I'm really excited. I'll tell you all about him in my next post....that's all for now, kids. I have to get ready for the gym!
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Now Accepting Applications
WANTED: 100% single women, between 25-35 years of age, who live in Savannah, GA and are interested in participating in PG-13 level shenanigans with woman of similar mindset. Shenanigans may include, but are not limited to: laughing, dancing, happy hours, flirting with cute boys, making out with cute boys, shopping, brunch/coffee dates, talking on the phone, watching reruns of Sex and the City, getting pedicures. Hipsters and goody-two shoes need not apply. Preference given to former sorority girls who have experience in the aforementioned shenanigans.
Here it is, another Saturday night, and I am alone. Is it just me, or is making friends way more difficult after college? I think I have blogged about this before...I'll try and keep this brief.
St. Patty's Day is in full swing, and the city is crawling with fun, young people, and I am dying to be one of them. I want to laugh and flirt and dance...but instead, my only choices are to watch tv with my dog or be the weird girl who is out at a bar by herself. Stone cold sober, I might add, which makes fitting into the debauchery that much more difficult. (If anyone has mastered the art of going out alone, please teach me your ways!)
I believe there are 2 main contributing factors to my problem.
1. I keep moving around too much. It takes time to make good friends, and my favorite party buds are all in Columbia, SC right now. (They couldn't make it down here for St. Patty's Day)
2. I have not been making as much of an effort to make friends here in Savannah as I probably should. Don't get me wrong -- I love my coworkers and I love my Bible Study friends. But neither group is into doing what I'm into doing at the moment. I am not a hipster (like all my coworkers) and I definitely do not want a family-friendly, G-rated evening (like my Bible Study friends). I am envisioning a slightly tamer version of the frat parties I attended while in college. Where do sorority girls go when they grow up??? Oh yeah, they get married. Right. I sorta skipped that part. Note to self: get married so you don't care about frat parties any more.
I cannot be the last single, 30 year old (ok, ok, 32 year old) non-hipster in this town (seriously, y'all, Savannah is Hipster Central) who wants to snog with cute boys in dark corners and dance to hip hop songs with her girlfriends.
I'm too fratty for the hipsters and too bad girl for the BS crowd. Sometimes I feel like I live a double life. I can't really be myself around any of my friends.
*sigh*
I know there are girls out there like me. I just can't find them! Argh. So frustrating. To make matters worse, my own mother has a booming social life -- AND a boyfriend. Something about that doesn't seem quite right. She's always been super duper social butterfly, and I have always considered myself one to a lesser extent. Put me in a room full of talking people and I can hold my own -- even inter-generationally. For me, the hard part is finding the room. I know what to do when I get there!
Guys have it so much easier when it comes to this problem. "So, how do you like them Yankees?" is all they seem to need to become instant buds with someone. Girls aren't as open. I wish we would stop acting like that. Would it kill women to be a little bit friendlier? In this day and age, we need girlfriends more than ever. Why not invite the girl who complimented your shoes to sit with your friends at the bar? Why not introduce your group to the group next to you? Isn't it a "the more, the merrier" situation? What's with all the snarkiness and competition? That's got to be my least favorite thing about my gender. Why can't we just be cool and friendly? I should wear a shirt that says, "Trust me, I don't want your man. I just want to have brunch with you so we can recount the previous night's girly debauchery."
I'm kind of worried that I may have a touch of my dad's personality when it comes to friends. We used to tease him, because if you were to stick all of his friends into a room, it would be a random assortment of people -- very few of them would have anything in common. Luckily for him, he was much more comfortable being a loner than I am. Plus, it's hard to feel lonely when you have a wife and 7 kids. My dad would have a deep connection with each one of his friends, but only in one way. That's kind of how I am -- I have one friend for X, another friend for Y, a third friend for Z. I wish I could find a friend that covers the whole alphabet! Where are the Samantha, Charlotte and Mirandas to my Carrie? (Not that I'm a Carrie...I'm probably closer to Charlotte, actually.) My mom's friends are all whole-alphabet friends and they've known each other for like, 40 years-- ever since high school/college. This is incredible to me. I don't even talk to my college friends anymore, let alone high school. Then again, they are all in Chicago and married with babies, so really, what do we have in common? I feel I'm a completely different person now than I was then.
Anyway, no point in moping around about this. I need a plan of action. Time to join some clubs or start new activities. Or at least go to restaurants/bars I don't normally go to. And I have to force myself to talk to people with out fear -- otherwise, I will go into shy, silent mode. No one wants to hang out with Silent Girl. (This is one of the reasons why I always feel so comfortable around funny people -- they totally break the ice for me.)
Oh well. At least I won't get barfed on or have to deal with annoying drunk people tonight. And I won't wake up smelling like cigarettes. That makes me feel better.
Man, what I wouldn't give for one last frat party right now....and a wholly single (no hubby, no fiance, not even a boyfriend) non-hipster, non-Bible Study gal pal to go with!
Until then, I'll be singing along to this...which makes me giggle, so that helps!
Thanks for listening to my whining, as usual. I'll try not to be Pity Party Girl next time.
Here it is, another Saturday night, and I am alone. Is it just me, or is making friends way more difficult after college? I think I have blogged about this before...I'll try and keep this brief.
St. Patty's Day is in full swing, and the city is crawling with fun, young people, and I am dying to be one of them. I want to laugh and flirt and dance...but instead, my only choices are to watch tv with my dog or be the weird girl who is out at a bar by herself. Stone cold sober, I might add, which makes fitting into the debauchery that much more difficult. (If anyone has mastered the art of going out alone, please teach me your ways!)
I believe there are 2 main contributing factors to my problem.
1. I keep moving around too much. It takes time to make good friends, and my favorite party buds are all in Columbia, SC right now. (They couldn't make it down here for St. Patty's Day)
2. I have not been making as much of an effort to make friends here in Savannah as I probably should. Don't get me wrong -- I love my coworkers and I love my Bible Study friends. But neither group is into doing what I'm into doing at the moment. I am not a hipster (like all my coworkers) and I definitely do not want a family-friendly, G-rated evening (like my Bible Study friends). I am envisioning a slightly tamer version of the frat parties I attended while in college. Where do sorority girls go when they grow up??? Oh yeah, they get married. Right. I sorta skipped that part. Note to self: get married so you don't care about frat parties any more.
I cannot be the last single, 30 year old (ok, ok, 32 year old) non-hipster in this town (seriously, y'all, Savannah is Hipster Central) who wants to snog with cute boys in dark corners and dance to hip hop songs with her girlfriends.
I'm too fratty for the hipsters and too bad girl for the BS crowd. Sometimes I feel like I live a double life. I can't really be myself around any of my friends.
*sigh*
I know there are girls out there like me. I just can't find them! Argh. So frustrating. To make matters worse, my own mother has a booming social life -- AND a boyfriend. Something about that doesn't seem quite right. She's always been super duper social butterfly, and I have always considered myself one to a lesser extent. Put me in a room full of talking people and I can hold my own -- even inter-generationally. For me, the hard part is finding the room. I know what to do when I get there!
Guys have it so much easier when it comes to this problem. "So, how do you like them Yankees?" is all they seem to need to become instant buds with someone. Girls aren't as open. I wish we would stop acting like that. Would it kill women to be a little bit friendlier? In this day and age, we need girlfriends more than ever. Why not invite the girl who complimented your shoes to sit with your friends at the bar? Why not introduce your group to the group next to you? Isn't it a "the more, the merrier" situation? What's with all the snarkiness and competition? That's got to be my least favorite thing about my gender. Why can't we just be cool and friendly? I should wear a shirt that says, "Trust me, I don't want your man. I just want to have brunch with you so we can recount the previous night's girly debauchery."
I'm kind of worried that I may have a touch of my dad's personality when it comes to friends. We used to tease him, because if you were to stick all of his friends into a room, it would be a random assortment of people -- very few of them would have anything in common. Luckily for him, he was much more comfortable being a loner than I am. Plus, it's hard to feel lonely when you have a wife and 7 kids. My dad would have a deep connection with each one of his friends, but only in one way. That's kind of how I am -- I have one friend for X, another friend for Y, a third friend for Z. I wish I could find a friend that covers the whole alphabet! Where are the Samantha, Charlotte and Mirandas to my Carrie? (Not that I'm a Carrie...I'm probably closer to Charlotte, actually.) My mom's friends are all whole-alphabet friends and they've known each other for like, 40 years-- ever since high school/college. This is incredible to me. I don't even talk to my college friends anymore, let alone high school. Then again, they are all in Chicago and married with babies, so really, what do we have in common? I feel I'm a completely different person now than I was then.
Anyway, no point in moping around about this. I need a plan of action. Time to join some clubs or start new activities. Or at least go to restaurants/bars I don't normally go to. And I have to force myself to talk to people with out fear -- otherwise, I will go into shy, silent mode. No one wants to hang out with Silent Girl. (This is one of the reasons why I always feel so comfortable around funny people -- they totally break the ice for me.)
Oh well. At least I won't get barfed on or have to deal with annoying drunk people tonight. And I won't wake up smelling like cigarettes. That makes me feel better.
Man, what I wouldn't give for one last frat party right now....and a wholly single (no hubby, no fiance, not even a boyfriend) non-hipster, non-Bible Study gal pal to go with!
Until then, I'll be singing along to this...which makes me giggle, so that helps!
Thanks for listening to my whining, as usual. I'll try not to be Pity Party Girl next time.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Blogging Rut
Can you tell I'm in a blogging rut? It's just one of those times in your life where there isn't much going on, and I don't want to bore my readers with mundane things, so I just don't blog. Life hits lulls in action like this sometimes. Maybe it is the quiet before the storm?
Random updates..........(this will be super-random, I apologize, but it's been a long day at the library!)
First let me say that if you are a vet, thank you for serving our country. I cannot imagine the sacrifice our veterans have made over the decades and am grateful to all veterans for keeping us safe and free. If I could, I would be proud to shake your hand. :)
Yes, I am still obsessed with genealogy. I will spare you the details. But I haven't really been up to much else. That is so sad to type that, and then read it. And realize it's a statement about yourself...*sigh* I am 29, yet I live the life of an 83 year old. What can I say? I have never been cool. Why start now? There's no use in denying my lack of general hipness.
As I predicted in my last post, Lady Starfish did not call. I am not really surprised by that, and not really sure what to do. After a certain point, it takes two people to make a friendship work. I feel like I have always been the one to do the work. Then again, as we can see from the last paragraph, it's not like she's missing much.
Speaking of friendships...
Did I tell you that my roommate, E, moved out? She moved out at the end of October. Which is fine by me. Things had been...uncomfortable between us for some time. The random guy in her bed (uh, there's a post on it...somewhere...) was pretty much the nail in the coffin for our peaceful cohabitation. Although I will miss having the extra money, it is such a relief to know that I don't have to share my house with anyone else anymore. To be honest, she was driving me batty, and I don't know if I can even still be friends with her. What is that saying....familiarity breeds contempt? Yes, I think that sums it up pretty well. I might blog more about this at a later point. I'm starting to think that there is something wrong with me, as I am starting to not like most people the older I get....hmmm. This might deserve a post of its own...perhaps my personality is aging faster than my body? I am starting to feel like a cranky old fart trapped in an overweight young person's body......oh dear......
I didn't do much for Halloween. JP (my other partner in crime) and I went to MJ's house to give out candy to trick-or-treaters and watch a scary movie. The trick-or-treaters never showed up, so JP and I got to take home all the left over candy. Which is great if you have a sweet tooth, but BAD if you have a sweet tooth AND you're trying to lose weight. (And to answer your question, no, I have not lost any weight. And I don't want to talk about it.) We watched a movie called The Strangers, and it was pretty good. It definitely had some freaky moments.
After that, I got a pretty bad cold, so I felt like crap all last week-- up until yesterday, really. I was Kleenex Queen. All I wanted to do was take swigs from a bottle of Nyquil, nap on my couch and eat soup.
Let's see. What else has been going on.
Sammy has an ear infection.
MJ is dating a hot French guy.
I am getting back into working out again (still waiting for diet motivation to make an appearance, however...).
Last night, I dreamt that I was on a road trip with Barack Obama. I was riding shotgun in a beat-up pick up truck, and I said something funny, and we had a good laugh. That's all I remember.
Oh, and CN used the phrase, "...or I could get you a ring." the other day.
:0
Yup. You read that correctly. More later. I will keep you hanging for now!
Random updates..........(this will be super-random, I apologize, but it's been a long day at the library!)
First let me say that if you are a vet, thank you for serving our country. I cannot imagine the sacrifice our veterans have made over the decades and am grateful to all veterans for keeping us safe and free. If I could, I would be proud to shake your hand. :)
Yes, I am still obsessed with genealogy. I will spare you the details. But I haven't really been up to much else. That is so sad to type that, and then read it. And realize it's a statement about yourself...*sigh* I am 29, yet I live the life of an 83 year old. What can I say? I have never been cool. Why start now? There's no use in denying my lack of general hipness.
As I predicted in my last post, Lady Starfish did not call. I am not really surprised by that, and not really sure what to do. After a certain point, it takes two people to make a friendship work. I feel like I have always been the one to do the work. Then again, as we can see from the last paragraph, it's not like she's missing much.
Speaking of friendships...
Did I tell you that my roommate, E, moved out? She moved out at the end of October. Which is fine by me. Things had been...uncomfortable between us for some time. The random guy in her bed (uh, there's a post on it...somewhere...) was pretty much the nail in the coffin for our peaceful cohabitation. Although I will miss having the extra money, it is such a relief to know that I don't have to share my house with anyone else anymore. To be honest, she was driving me batty, and I don't know if I can even still be friends with her. What is that saying....familiarity breeds contempt? Yes, I think that sums it up pretty well. I might blog more about this at a later point. I'm starting to think that there is something wrong with me, as I am starting to not like most people the older I get....hmmm. This might deserve a post of its own...perhaps my personality is aging faster than my body? I am starting to feel like a cranky old fart trapped in an overweight young person's body......oh dear......
I didn't do much for Halloween. JP (my other partner in crime) and I went to MJ's house to give out candy to trick-or-treaters and watch a scary movie. The trick-or-treaters never showed up, so JP and I got to take home all the left over candy. Which is great if you have a sweet tooth, but BAD if you have a sweet tooth AND you're trying to lose weight. (And to answer your question, no, I have not lost any weight. And I don't want to talk about it.) We watched a movie called The Strangers, and it was pretty good. It definitely had some freaky moments.
After that, I got a pretty bad cold, so I felt like crap all last week-- up until yesterday, really. I was Kleenex Queen. All I wanted to do was take swigs from a bottle of Nyquil, nap on my couch and eat soup.
Let's see. What else has been going on.
Sammy has an ear infection.
MJ is dating a hot French guy.
I am getting back into working out again (still waiting for diet motivation to make an appearance, however...).
Last night, I dreamt that I was on a road trip with Barack Obama. I was riding shotgun in a beat-up pick up truck, and I said something funny, and we had a good laugh. That's all I remember.
Oh, and CN used the phrase, "...or I could get you a ring." the other day.
:0
Yup. You read that correctly. More later. I will keep you hanging for now!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friendships, Part 2
So the original post for today was going to discuss friendships, but it seems I've already written it and said pretty much everything I want to say.
It's just that I'm thinking about all of that stuff again lately. I think it's because this week, I was contacted by an old and dear friend I've missed terribly (anyone remember Lady Starfish? 25 pts for you if you do). She was my best friend for years. Even when she moved to Tennessee, we stayed close. Then one day, she didn't return my call. I waited a couple weeks, called again, and that call was not returned, either. I am pretty good at taking a hint, so I admitted defeat: the friendship is over. A few tears in my pillow, and I moved on. I tried not to take it personally. She is the first to admit that she's a crappy friend. This was about 2 years ago.
Every so often, I would think about her, and even try and call her. But to no avail. After a while, I realized I may not ever be able to get in touch with her again: she probably changed her phone number to avoid her psycho ex-husband, she changes jobs a lot and she got re-married to a guy whose last name I don't know. So I basically gave up.
So imagine my surprise when she called me the other day!
Well, she sort of called me. You know how if you hit the wrong button on your phone, you can accidentally call someone? Somehow, she did that to me. I was so excited. But when I picked up, all I could hear was a car radio. She must have been driving somewhere, and the phone was on the seat next to her. I could hear the radio loud and clear, and even hear her rolling the window up and down. But she could not hear me yelling her name. So I gave up. And hung up. And was very sad. So close, but so far. If only...
Today, the rollercoaster friendship started back up again. I got a text message from her, telling me she misses me and is going out of town but wants to catch up on Monday! She apologized for being gone so long! Yay! My friend is back! She must have seen that she accidentally called me.
But I am wary. I am gun-shy. I'm wondering if we can even be close friends again. It's not that I'm not aware that friendships can fluctuate or even wither away. But it is painful, sometimes. She's one of my favorite people, so for her to jump in and out makes me feel...disposable. B-list. Back burner. And it hurts. I think I am going to have to say something about this, when we talk on Monday. Oh, who are we kidding. I KNOW I will say something. I have a big mouth and I think out loud. So we will see. Right now, I am expecting her to not answer her phone on Monday......experience makes you a pessimist. *sigh*
I swear, it's like dating a guy or something. My emotions right now are the same as when an old ex-boyfriend would call me and want to get back together. I have all these questions, and old memories, and a longing to have that person in my life again. But at the same time, didn't we already try this? How can I trust them again? How do I know this will be worth my emotional and time investment? Do I only give it a half-assed try, in order to protect myself? Or should I settle in for the time being, grateful for every moment? Maybe I should keep up some walls for a while. It's only fair, since I've been put on the back burner all this time.
Right now, I am wary. But excited.
Also this week, I have been dealing with the flip side of this situation. There's a girl I used to be friends with. She's very nice, but not very fun. And she makes (what are, in my opinion) stupid decisions. She has a tendency to be negative. A wet blanket. An Eeyore. Looking back, I am surprised I could even tolerate being around her for as long as I was. But when your schedules mesh well, and you can't really come up with a bad reason to stop being someone's friend...you find yourself sort of stuck with them....
Until you can't take it anymore and realize you'd rather just be alone. Which is what happened to me about 2 years ago. So I faded away. I didn't always return calls, and if I did, I cut them short. I cancelled plans, or always had some kind of an excuse. I was hoping this would do the trick -- she would get the hint and move on.
Only, she hasn't. About every 6 months, I will get an email or a phone call. I don't return them, of course. I thought she was done, until she called me. And emailed me. And text messaged me. All in the same day. That day is today.
She is having a big graduation party and wants me to go. While I applaud her achievement, I have ZERO desire to go to the party. She will corner me and expect an explanation for my long absence. Or worse, act like it never happened. The other girls from that "group" will also be there. I have also blown them off for the same reasons. The food might be good, but the party will be lame. It will be awkward, at best. I know everyone will want to know "where I've been" because I'm a "stranger". Which, if you are a woman, you know is just a thin veil for, "WTF? I thought you were my friend!" The best thing I can hope for is that they are all pissed at me, and will refuse to speak to me. This would actually be the best thing to happen, if I go. But do I want to go to a party like that? Um, no.
And yet, I cannot bring myself to reply to any of her attempts at contacting me. What do I say?? I can't go to your party, which isn't until mid-December? Congratulations on working your ass off for the last 3 years, but I can't make it? I don't want to be your friend anymore? Please stop calling me? I'd love to, but I have to clean my house that day?
Any of these replies will either hurt her feelings or open the door for further contact. Neither of which are viable options, from what I can see.
The thought of talking to her fills me with dread and guilt. At the same time, I am even growing a little irritated at her inability to just let sleeping dogs lie. Get. The. Hint. You know?
It's so funny, because I NEVER had these feelings when I dumped a boyfriend. I felt relief. I was happy to move on. If they called me, my attitude was more along the lines of, "WTF do you want?" rather than, "Shit. I am an asshole." -- which is how I feel right now, staring at my phone and its voicemail message from Miss Eeyore.
It's a million times more difficult to blow off a friend than a boyfriend. I can't figure out why. You'd think it'd be worse with the guy -- after all, you have probably seen each other naked. There's an intimacy there. But for some reason, loyalty seems to trump compatibility in friendships. It's sort of the other way around when romance is involved. Look at all the men who have friends from childhood, and despite their obvious differences, they still hang out. Guys don't seem to care. It's like loyalty is the #1 rule. Even if the guy is a lame-o. I don't get this. You can call me selfish, but I think life is too short to spend it with people who bore the shit out of you.
Perhaps it's confusing, because I don't hate her guts or anything. She's still on my myspace friends list. I just don't want to be an active friend to her. If I run into her in the grocery store, fine. Let's have a friendly chat. Catch up. But I do not want to hang out with her over a meal or even a drink. I don't miss her or regret ending the friendship.
And I don't think there's any way to tell someone that without hurting their feelings. So my phone stays where it is, next to me on my desk.
It's so strange, being on both sides of the same coin at the same time. I am excited! No, wait. I'm an asshole. I can't wait to catch up! Why won't you leave me alone? Please remember to call me! Ugh, stop calling me!
With Miss Eeyore, I feel guilt and shame. And empathy. Which only makes the guilt worse. I know exactly how this must make her feel. The confusion. The pain.
With Lady Starfish, I have trust issues. I am hurt. I am resentful. Yet understanding. Because I have been blowing someone off for 2 years, myself. I also worry that I am her Miss Eeyore, and I have finally browbeaten her into calling me.
Is this karma at work? Some surreal metaphor? Is the universe trying to teach me something?
Ugh. Friendships are hard. What should I do?
It's just that I'm thinking about all of that stuff again lately. I think it's because this week, I was contacted by an old and dear friend I've missed terribly (anyone remember Lady Starfish? 25 pts for you if you do). She was my best friend for years. Even when she moved to Tennessee, we stayed close. Then one day, she didn't return my call. I waited a couple weeks, called again, and that call was not returned, either. I am pretty good at taking a hint, so I admitted defeat: the friendship is over. A few tears in my pillow, and I moved on. I tried not to take it personally. She is the first to admit that she's a crappy friend. This was about 2 years ago.
Every so often, I would think about her, and even try and call her. But to no avail. After a while, I realized I may not ever be able to get in touch with her again: she probably changed her phone number to avoid her psycho ex-husband, she changes jobs a lot and she got re-married to a guy whose last name I don't know. So I basically gave up.
So imagine my surprise when she called me the other day!
Well, she sort of called me. You know how if you hit the wrong button on your phone, you can accidentally call someone? Somehow, she did that to me. I was so excited. But when I picked up, all I could hear was a car radio. She must have been driving somewhere, and the phone was on the seat next to her. I could hear the radio loud and clear, and even hear her rolling the window up and down. But she could not hear me yelling her name. So I gave up. And hung up. And was very sad. So close, but so far. If only...
Today, the rollercoaster friendship started back up again. I got a text message from her, telling me she misses me and is going out of town but wants to catch up on Monday! She apologized for being gone so long! Yay! My friend is back! She must have seen that she accidentally called me.
But I am wary. I am gun-shy. I'm wondering if we can even be close friends again. It's not that I'm not aware that friendships can fluctuate or even wither away. But it is painful, sometimes. She's one of my favorite people, so for her to jump in and out makes me feel...disposable. B-list. Back burner. And it hurts. I think I am going to have to say something about this, when we talk on Monday. Oh, who are we kidding. I KNOW I will say something. I have a big mouth and I think out loud. So we will see. Right now, I am expecting her to not answer her phone on Monday......experience makes you a pessimist. *sigh*
I swear, it's like dating a guy or something. My emotions right now are the same as when an old ex-boyfriend would call me and want to get back together. I have all these questions, and old memories, and a longing to have that person in my life again. But at the same time, didn't we already try this? How can I trust them again? How do I know this will be worth my emotional and time investment? Do I only give it a half-assed try, in order to protect myself? Or should I settle in for the time being, grateful for every moment? Maybe I should keep up some walls for a while. It's only fair, since I've been put on the back burner all this time.
Right now, I am wary. But excited.
Also this week, I have been dealing with the flip side of this situation. There's a girl I used to be friends with. She's very nice, but not very fun. And she makes (what are, in my opinion) stupid decisions. She has a tendency to be negative. A wet blanket. An Eeyore. Looking back, I am surprised I could even tolerate being around her for as long as I was. But when your schedules mesh well, and you can't really come up with a bad reason to stop being someone's friend...you find yourself sort of stuck with them....
Until you can't take it anymore and realize you'd rather just be alone. Which is what happened to me about 2 years ago. So I faded away. I didn't always return calls, and if I did, I cut them short. I cancelled plans, or always had some kind of an excuse. I was hoping this would do the trick -- she would get the hint and move on.
Only, she hasn't. About every 6 months, I will get an email or a phone call. I don't return them, of course. I thought she was done, until she called me. And emailed me. And text messaged me. All in the same day. That day is today.
She is having a big graduation party and wants me to go. While I applaud her achievement, I have ZERO desire to go to the party. She will corner me and expect an explanation for my long absence. Or worse, act like it never happened. The other girls from that "group" will also be there. I have also blown them off for the same reasons. The food might be good, but the party will be lame. It will be awkward, at best. I know everyone will want to know "where I've been" because I'm a "stranger". Which, if you are a woman, you know is just a thin veil for, "WTF? I thought you were my friend!" The best thing I can hope for is that they are all pissed at me, and will refuse to speak to me. This would actually be the best thing to happen, if I go. But do I want to go to a party like that? Um, no.
And yet, I cannot bring myself to reply to any of her attempts at contacting me. What do I say?? I can't go to your party, which isn't until mid-December? Congratulations on working your ass off for the last 3 years, but I can't make it? I don't want to be your friend anymore? Please stop calling me? I'd love to, but I have to clean my house that day?
Any of these replies will either hurt her feelings or open the door for further contact. Neither of which are viable options, from what I can see.
The thought of talking to her fills me with dread and guilt. At the same time, I am even growing a little irritated at her inability to just let sleeping dogs lie. Get. The. Hint. You know?
It's so funny, because I NEVER had these feelings when I dumped a boyfriend. I felt relief. I was happy to move on. If they called me, my attitude was more along the lines of, "WTF do you want?" rather than, "Shit. I am an asshole." -- which is how I feel right now, staring at my phone and its voicemail message from Miss Eeyore.
It's a million times more difficult to blow off a friend than a boyfriend. I can't figure out why. You'd think it'd be worse with the guy -- after all, you have probably seen each other naked. There's an intimacy there. But for some reason, loyalty seems to trump compatibility in friendships. It's sort of the other way around when romance is involved. Look at all the men who have friends from childhood, and despite their obvious differences, they still hang out. Guys don't seem to care. It's like loyalty is the #1 rule. Even if the guy is a lame-o. I don't get this. You can call me selfish, but I think life is too short to spend it with people who bore the shit out of you.
Perhaps it's confusing, because I don't hate her guts or anything. She's still on my myspace friends list. I just don't want to be an active friend to her. If I run into her in the grocery store, fine. Let's have a friendly chat. Catch up. But I do not want to hang out with her over a meal or even a drink. I don't miss her or regret ending the friendship.
And I don't think there's any way to tell someone that without hurting their feelings. So my phone stays where it is, next to me on my desk.
It's so strange, being on both sides of the same coin at the same time. I am excited! No, wait. I'm an asshole. I can't wait to catch up! Why won't you leave me alone? Please remember to call me! Ugh, stop calling me!
With Miss Eeyore, I feel guilt and shame. And empathy. Which only makes the guilt worse. I know exactly how this must make her feel. The confusion. The pain.
With Lady Starfish, I have trust issues. I am hurt. I am resentful. Yet understanding. Because I have been blowing someone off for 2 years, myself. I also worry that I am her Miss Eeyore, and I have finally browbeaten her into calling me.
Is this karma at work? Some surreal metaphor? Is the universe trying to teach me something?
Ugh. Friendships are hard. What should I do?
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Fashion and the City
This past weekend, I managed to squeeze in enough time to catch the Sex and the City Movie with MJ and her coworker JP. (Since KT moved back to NY, JP has been a super-fun replacement in our girl gang. Not that KT can be replaced, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I love making new friends, so it's always nice to see JP.)
After the movie was over, MJ & JP mentioned that they thought the clothes were ugly, outrageous and impractical. I, on the other hand, thought they were FANTASTIC. They are fun and irreverent. When I go to the movies, I want to escape my mundane life and pretend I have another life -- usually, the life of the heroine. I think this is why I like romantic comedies so much. My life can always use more laughter and love, as far as I'm concerned.
In the case of SATC, I love to watch it and pretend that
A) I live in NYC, my thus-far favorite place on Earth,
B) It is socially acceptable to wear outrageous haute couture clothing that is so artistic and unique, and
C) I have enough money to do both things.
So to say that I really enjoyed this movie is an understatement. It was like a wonderful, extra-long season finale episode. Now, ladies, if you haven't seen it yet, I promise I won't give any plot details away. But I have GOT to share these fabulous (and, admittedly socially outlandish) clothes with you!!!! Yes, I know they are silly and crazy. But I love them!!! I love how fun fashion can be. I love that fashion is sort of like art in motion. It's like a painting or a feeling that you can wear. I love how confident the women who wear these clothes are. I really wish I got to wear such crazy stuff all the time. And why not? Life is short. The way we dress is one of the few things we have control over in this life. It's just an outfit. It's temporary. Removable. Fun. We watch crazy things on tv. We eat crazy foods at exotic restaurants. Why not wear crazy clothes, too? Who's with me?
I think I am hearing crickets. *sigh* Ok, fine. I guess the cheese stands alone.
I know men don't "get" SATC and they think it's all man-bashing. And I know most people don't get the crazy clothes. Or the absurdity of the fact that a writer, living alone in NYC, can afford a designer wardrobe. But I am totally ok with suspending reality when I'm watching a movie. And I really enjoyed suspending reality for this one! So ladies, if you have been planning on seeing it, you've GOT to. It was a great movie, even if you are just a minor fan of the show. But I wouldn't go see it if I were a novice fan. You've got to understand the history of Carrie & Big, Miranda & Steve, Charlotte & Harry and Samantha & Smith so you won't get lost. Ok, enough about the movie. Let's look at the clothes!!!
Here were my faves:
Hello! How badly do I want a pair of zebra shoes like these now? LOVE how Carrie wears them with a red print and a sequin minidress. Great contrast.
Alright, everyone has been dissing the bird in her hair. But I think it's AWESOME. Very Carrie. And I love the color. So original -- who else wears feathers in their hair on their wedding day?? Almost like a hat. And I love women in hats. I want hats to come back!!
Miranda's blue dress might be the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. And Charlotte's roses are my favorite color.
Ok, I am not really feeling this green dress that much. But I do like the shoes! Gladiator stilettos?? I am woman, hear me roar! RAWR!!!
I have to admit, I could do without Samantha's shoulder pads. But I love everything else, especially Miranda's gold dress.
LOVE the dresses Charlotte and Miranda are wearing.
Gorgeous, gorgeous gorgeous. Another shot of Charlotte's bridesmaid dress.
Super fun dress. Love the hot pink with the belt. I'm not feeling the footwear, though...it's too much, even for me.
Freaking awesome dress. Yes, I know it looks like the flower is eating her face. But it's so dramatic. *sigh*
I'm pretty sure this dress is from a scene that was cut. But isn't it fantastic?? So feminine.
Now, unless you have seen the movie, you won't understand the significance of these blue satin Manolos, but aren't they just perfect??? I wish I had a pair. Note to self: buy pair of blue satin stilettos, despite the fact you have no outfit to wear with them.
Ok, fashion moment over. Back to reality. Brown pants. Ruffled aqua blouse. Flat, brown sandals. South Carolina. Yawn.
After the movie was over, MJ & JP mentioned that they thought the clothes were ugly, outrageous and impractical. I, on the other hand, thought they were FANTASTIC. They are fun and irreverent. When I go to the movies, I want to escape my mundane life and pretend I have another life -- usually, the life of the heroine. I think this is why I like romantic comedies so much. My life can always use more laughter and love, as far as I'm concerned.
In the case of SATC, I love to watch it and pretend that
A) I live in NYC, my thus-far favorite place on Earth,
B) It is socially acceptable to wear outrageous haute couture clothing that is so artistic and unique, and
C) I have enough money to do both things.
So to say that I really enjoyed this movie is an understatement. It was like a wonderful, extra-long season finale episode. Now, ladies, if you haven't seen it yet, I promise I won't give any plot details away. But I have GOT to share these fabulous (and, admittedly socially outlandish) clothes with you!!!! Yes, I know they are silly and crazy. But I love them!!! I love how fun fashion can be. I love that fashion is sort of like art in motion. It's like a painting or a feeling that you can wear. I love how confident the women who wear these clothes are. I really wish I got to wear such crazy stuff all the time. And why not? Life is short. The way we dress is one of the few things we have control over in this life. It's just an outfit. It's temporary. Removable. Fun. We watch crazy things on tv. We eat crazy foods at exotic restaurants. Why not wear crazy clothes, too? Who's with me?
I think I am hearing crickets. *sigh* Ok, fine. I guess the cheese stands alone.
I know men don't "get" SATC and they think it's all man-bashing. And I know most people don't get the crazy clothes. Or the absurdity of the fact that a writer, living alone in NYC, can afford a designer wardrobe. But I am totally ok with suspending reality when I'm watching a movie. And I really enjoyed suspending reality for this one! So ladies, if you have been planning on seeing it, you've GOT to. It was a great movie, even if you are just a minor fan of the show. But I wouldn't go see it if I were a novice fan. You've got to understand the history of Carrie & Big, Miranda & Steve, Charlotte & Harry and Samantha & Smith so you won't get lost. Ok, enough about the movie. Let's look at the clothes!!!
Here were my faves:
Hello! How badly do I want a pair of zebra shoes like these now? LOVE how Carrie wears them with a red print and a sequin minidress. Great contrast.
Alright, everyone has been dissing the bird in her hair. But I think it's AWESOME. Very Carrie. And I love the color. So original -- who else wears feathers in their hair on their wedding day?? Almost like a hat. And I love women in hats. I want hats to come back!!
Miranda's blue dress might be the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. And Charlotte's roses are my favorite color.
Ok, I am not really feeling this green dress that much. But I do like the shoes! Gladiator stilettos?? I am woman, hear me roar! RAWR!!!
I have to admit, I could do without Samantha's shoulder pads. But I love everything else, especially Miranda's gold dress.
LOVE the dresses Charlotte and Miranda are wearing.
Gorgeous, gorgeous gorgeous. Another shot of Charlotte's bridesmaid dress.
Super fun dress. Love the hot pink with the belt. I'm not feeling the footwear, though...it's too much, even for me.
Freaking awesome dress. Yes, I know it looks like the flower is eating her face. But it's so dramatic. *sigh*
I'm pretty sure this dress is from a scene that was cut. But isn't it fantastic?? So feminine.
Now, unless you have seen the movie, you won't understand the significance of these blue satin Manolos, but aren't they just perfect??? I wish I had a pair. Note to self: buy pair of blue satin stilettos, despite the fact you have no outfit to wear with them.
Ok, fashion moment over. Back to reality. Brown pants. Ruffled aqua blouse. Flat, brown sandals. South Carolina. Yawn.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Cruise News, Part 1
It's good to know that so many of my readers can relate to my vision problems! Wow, did I get a lot of sympathy on my last post! I did end up going back to the eye doctor before I left, and she put me in stronger contacts. Apparently, I am "in-between" lens strengths, and the weaker one isn't enough. Don't ask me why it wasn't enough when I left the first time, because I can't figure it out, either. I guess my eyes just don't fully adjust as quickly as they should. I can see pretty well with the new ones, so I'm going to just go with these.
I think the thing is, since I don't know what it's like to really be able to see perfectly, it is hard to gauge what is "perfect vision". I feel like I should be able to see China when I put my contacts in, so anything less seems too weak to me. But I did a check with CN on the way to Jacksonville. For the first hour of our trip, he had to listen to me asking: "Can you read that green sign yet? Or is it still fuzzy? What about that license plate in front of us? Can you read that?" -- I wanted to know if I was seeing what he was seeing. Since he has 20/20 vision, I figured that is a good test. We were seeing the same things at the same time, so I must be good.
I know you will be disappointed to hear this, but I don't have any cruise pictures yet. I will post some as soon as I can. We took a lot of them on CN's camera, so he has to learn how to upload them before I can share with you. For now, I will give you the first part of the trip.
CN and I had so much fun driving to/from Jacksonville together. We talked and laughed and teased each other. He has a Sirius radio, and I played dj on the trip, which was great for me, but not always great for him--he hates rap. He liked all my serenading, though. I had fun making him guess what song was playing. He knows an incredible amount of music trivia. So we had a blast on our way to meet up with everyone.
CN and I went on the cruise with two other couples: Larva & Sandra and Roger & Grace (yes, these names are totally made-up or nicknames). We had met Larva & Sandra before, as Larva and CN are old college buddies. We were meeting Roger & Grace for the first time.
CN and I met up with the two other couples about halfway between Columbia and Jacksonville, at a Burger King off the highway. The first thing they say to us is this: "Ok, before we head down to Jacksonville, we have to make a pit-stop in Savannah."
CN & I: "Um, ok. Why?"
Sandra: "Well, because Larva didn't get his birth certificate stamped with the official seal, so if we don't get it, they won't let him on the boat."
[Insert VB & CN irritation here.]
It turns out that Larva, who has had WEEKS to get his paperwork in order, thought that he could bullshit his way through security with just a photocopied birth certificate. He had even gone with Sandra to the health department just 2 days beforehand, when she went to get hers. "You're sure you don't need one?" she had asked. He told her "no".
When he announces this little tidbit of information that morning to Roger & Grace on the way to meet us, they told him he was an idiot and that his little plan would not work. CN and I agreed.
I still can't figure out why Sandra was not furious with Larva about this. "If you had pulled this stunt," I said to CN, "You would be dead meat right now. I would get on the boat without your ass."
"Trust me, I would never do something that stupid," he replied. "I practically gave myself a heart attack double checking all that stuff!"
So our plan was to take a detour to Savannah to hunt down a health department, pray they were open and cross our fingers that it would not take too long to get a proper birth certificate. Thank goodness Larva was born in Georgia, rather than somewhere far away, like Utah. After some exasperated sighs on my part, we all get into our cars and drive into Savannah.
CN and I begin to follow everyone through Savannah. We seemed to be going nowhere. When our motorcade did yet another u-turn, CN calls Larva to ask him what the hell is going on. It turns out that no one has a CLUE as to where the Health Department is in Savannah, and they were trying to find it through sheer luck.
More exasperated sighs on my behalf. This is not a good way to start a vacation.
Luckily, CN saved the day and found the Health Department with his GPS system. (Thank you, Garmin company.) A few minutes later, we were at the Health Department and were glad to see that there was no line or waiting period needed to get a proper birth certificate.
Fifteen minutes later, we are on our way to get on the boat. We are about 2 hours behind schedule, but it's no big deal. We still got on the boat in a short amount of time. Getting on the boat was very easy.
While we had been waiting on Larva at the Health Department, I told Sandra how I was worried about getting seasick. She told me to take a half a Dramamine the first day, and I should be fine for the rest of the trip. She's a nurse and an experienced cruiser, so that's what I did. Aside from the first night, when I was feeling a tiny bit woozy, I was totally fine for the rest of the trip. I was very relieved, because that was a big worry on my part.
CN and I got to our cabin. The bed was AMAZING -- seriously, y'all, it is a miracle I ever got out of that bed. It was big, soft and clean, and the thread count on the sheets must have been 500. The pillows were the perfect mix of squishy/firm. Our steward changed the sheets every day...ahhh. It was bliss.
Too bad I can't say the same thing for the bathroom. Now, I was on an old ship (built in 1987), so I knew not to get too excited about the bathroom. But the shower was totally gross: it was tiny, moldy, dark and felt "germy". It didn't have the most effective drain, either. I think it was the rubber mat on the floor of the shower that really bothered me. All I could think was, "Ew, athlete's foot!!!" So I took very quick showers. And I know I'm probably being a little harsh/germo-phobic, but I have a thing about bathrooms. I am picky.
We unpacked and freshened up and went up to the pool deck to meet everyone else for lunch.
All of my hopes about the kick-ass cruise food were quickly destroyed. The cafeteria on the pool deck smelled like a mixture of fried food, mold and body odor. It was so bad that I had to cover my nose every time I went in there. It literally made me nauseous. I grabbed a burger, some fries, some pasta salad and a couple other things. I did not eat a lot of food from this cafeteria again, instead opting for the dining rooms, which at least didn't make me want to barf. That smell was seriously unbearable.
This first meal was no different from all the other meals on this trip: average to bad. Half the food on the boat was totally disgusting, to the point that it was inedible. (Example: the caesar salad tasted like fish. Now, I know that caesar dressing has anchovy paste in it. But this tasted like it was 100% anchovy paste. Ew.). A lot of dishes were overcooked or flavorless. The rest was ok. I didn't eat any veggies the whole time I was on board, because everything from the salads to the steamed veggies were just awful. A lot of the seafood was overcooked and rubbery. The fruit was not ripe. The pizza was soggy and tasted funny. The escargot was cold. The mashed potatoes were stiff as a board. The desserts were average at best. The cakes, cookies and brownies were all dry and bland. The sandwiches, eggs and pancakes were so-so. The French toast was not very good. The cheesecake was gross. The only things that waere pretty good were the beef and the pancakes. So I ate beef almost every night for dinner, and pancakes for breakfast.
How do you mess up cheesecake and pizza???!! This completely blew my mind. CN agreed with me about all the food. Everyone else thought I was nuts as they chowed down. Maybe I am nuts. *shrugs*
I can't tell you about the chocolate buffet, because it was held at midnight that night, and I missed it. But I doubt I missed much, based on the forgettable desserts I had the rest of the time. By midnight most nights, I was enjoying the heavenly bed in my cabin. I'm not much of a night owl.
The only thing that really impressed me was the coffee -- it was perfect. Oh, and there was this chocolate lava cake that was really good, too. But that was it as far as food excitement was concerned.
Overall, the food was average/bad at best. I can cook better food myself. The food I get in restaurants here in Columbia beats anything they had on their ship hands down. So if you are going on a cruise, don't get excited about the food if you are used to yummy Southern cuisine.
The good news is, I only gained two pounds--and I think that was more from not exercising than anything else! :)
After we ate lunch, the ship left the dock. We all agreed that you can feel a lot of motion in such a small cruise ship. CN and I went to the front of the boat to watch the huge bridge go over us. It was pretty cool.
We hung out by the pool with the rest of our group after that. Everyone proceeded to start drinking heavily! We had a good time just people-watching, hanging out and dancing to the music played by a dj. I really liked Roger & Grace right away. They are super fun and friendly, plus, they are hilarious. After a bit, we went to our cabins to change into dinner attire.
Dinner was apparently forgettable, since I don't remember anything I ate. :P
After dinner, CN and I were pooped. We had been up since 6am, so we were exhausted. I think we went to bed by 9:30. I slept like a rock!
Ok, I will write more tomorrow!
I think the thing is, since I don't know what it's like to really be able to see perfectly, it is hard to gauge what is "perfect vision". I feel like I should be able to see China when I put my contacts in, so anything less seems too weak to me. But I did a check with CN on the way to Jacksonville. For the first hour of our trip, he had to listen to me asking: "Can you read that green sign yet? Or is it still fuzzy? What about that license plate in front of us? Can you read that?" -- I wanted to know if I was seeing what he was seeing. Since he has 20/20 vision, I figured that is a good test. We were seeing the same things at the same time, so I must be good.
I know you will be disappointed to hear this, but I don't have any cruise pictures yet. I will post some as soon as I can. We took a lot of them on CN's camera, so he has to learn how to upload them before I can share with you. For now, I will give you the first part of the trip.
CN and I had so much fun driving to/from Jacksonville together. We talked and laughed and teased each other. He has a Sirius radio, and I played dj on the trip, which was great for me, but not always great for him--he hates rap. He liked all my serenading, though. I had fun making him guess what song was playing. He knows an incredible amount of music trivia. So we had a blast on our way to meet up with everyone.
CN and I went on the cruise with two other couples: Larva & Sandra and Roger & Grace (yes, these names are totally made-up or nicknames). We had met Larva & Sandra before, as Larva and CN are old college buddies. We were meeting Roger & Grace for the first time.
CN and I met up with the two other couples about halfway between Columbia and Jacksonville, at a Burger King off the highway. The first thing they say to us is this: "Ok, before we head down to Jacksonville, we have to make a pit-stop in Savannah."
CN & I: "Um, ok. Why?"
Sandra: "Well, because Larva didn't get his birth certificate stamped with the official seal, so if we don't get it, they won't let him on the boat."
[Insert VB & CN irritation here.]
It turns out that Larva, who has had WEEKS to get his paperwork in order, thought that he could bullshit his way through security with just a photocopied birth certificate. He had even gone with Sandra to the health department just 2 days beforehand, when she went to get hers. "You're sure you don't need one?" she had asked. He told her "no".
When he announces this little tidbit of information that morning to Roger & Grace on the way to meet us, they told him he was an idiot and that his little plan would not work. CN and I agreed.
I still can't figure out why Sandra was not furious with Larva about this. "If you had pulled this stunt," I said to CN, "You would be dead meat right now. I would get on the boat without your ass."
"Trust me, I would never do something that stupid," he replied. "I practically gave myself a heart attack double checking all that stuff!"
So our plan was to take a detour to Savannah to hunt down a health department, pray they were open and cross our fingers that it would not take too long to get a proper birth certificate. Thank goodness Larva was born in Georgia, rather than somewhere far away, like Utah. After some exasperated sighs on my part, we all get into our cars and drive into Savannah.
CN and I begin to follow everyone through Savannah. We seemed to be going nowhere. When our motorcade did yet another u-turn, CN calls Larva to ask him what the hell is going on. It turns out that no one has a CLUE as to where the Health Department is in Savannah, and they were trying to find it through sheer luck.
More exasperated sighs on my behalf. This is not a good way to start a vacation.
Luckily, CN saved the day and found the Health Department with his GPS system. (Thank you, Garmin company.) A few minutes later, we were at the Health Department and were glad to see that there was no line or waiting period needed to get a proper birth certificate.
Fifteen minutes later, we are on our way to get on the boat. We are about 2 hours behind schedule, but it's no big deal. We still got on the boat in a short amount of time. Getting on the boat was very easy.
While we had been waiting on Larva at the Health Department, I told Sandra how I was worried about getting seasick. She told me to take a half a Dramamine the first day, and I should be fine for the rest of the trip. She's a nurse and an experienced cruiser, so that's what I did. Aside from the first night, when I was feeling a tiny bit woozy, I was totally fine for the rest of the trip. I was very relieved, because that was a big worry on my part.
CN and I got to our cabin. The bed was AMAZING -- seriously, y'all, it is a miracle I ever got out of that bed. It was big, soft and clean, and the thread count on the sheets must have been 500. The pillows were the perfect mix of squishy/firm. Our steward changed the sheets every day...ahhh. It was bliss.
Too bad I can't say the same thing for the bathroom. Now, I was on an old ship (built in 1987), so I knew not to get too excited about the bathroom. But the shower was totally gross: it was tiny, moldy, dark and felt "germy". It didn't have the most effective drain, either. I think it was the rubber mat on the floor of the shower that really bothered me. All I could think was, "Ew, athlete's foot!!!" So I took very quick showers. And I know I'm probably being a little harsh/germo-phobic, but I have a thing about bathrooms. I am picky.
We unpacked and freshened up and went up to the pool deck to meet everyone else for lunch.
All of my hopes about the kick-ass cruise food were quickly destroyed. The cafeteria on the pool deck smelled like a mixture of fried food, mold and body odor. It was so bad that I had to cover my nose every time I went in there. It literally made me nauseous. I grabbed a burger, some fries, some pasta salad and a couple other things. I did not eat a lot of food from this cafeteria again, instead opting for the dining rooms, which at least didn't make me want to barf. That smell was seriously unbearable.
This first meal was no different from all the other meals on this trip: average to bad. Half the food on the boat was totally disgusting, to the point that it was inedible. (Example: the caesar salad tasted like fish. Now, I know that caesar dressing has anchovy paste in it. But this tasted like it was 100% anchovy paste. Ew.). A lot of dishes were overcooked or flavorless. The rest was ok. I didn't eat any veggies the whole time I was on board, because everything from the salads to the steamed veggies were just awful. A lot of the seafood was overcooked and rubbery. The fruit was not ripe. The pizza was soggy and tasted funny. The escargot was cold. The mashed potatoes were stiff as a board. The desserts were average at best. The cakes, cookies and brownies were all dry and bland. The sandwiches, eggs and pancakes were so-so. The French toast was not very good. The cheesecake was gross. The only things that waere pretty good were the beef and the pancakes. So I ate beef almost every night for dinner, and pancakes for breakfast.
How do you mess up cheesecake and pizza???!! This completely blew my mind. CN agreed with me about all the food. Everyone else thought I was nuts as they chowed down. Maybe I am nuts. *shrugs*
I can't tell you about the chocolate buffet, because it was held at midnight that night, and I missed it. But I doubt I missed much, based on the forgettable desserts I had the rest of the time. By midnight most nights, I was enjoying the heavenly bed in my cabin. I'm not much of a night owl.
The only thing that really impressed me was the coffee -- it was perfect. Oh, and there was this chocolate lava cake that was really good, too. But that was it as far as food excitement was concerned.
Overall, the food was average/bad at best. I can cook better food myself. The food I get in restaurants here in Columbia beats anything they had on their ship hands down. So if you are going on a cruise, don't get excited about the food if you are used to yummy Southern cuisine.
The good news is, I only gained two pounds--and I think that was more from not exercising than anything else! :)
After we ate lunch, the ship left the dock. We all agreed that you can feel a lot of motion in such a small cruise ship. CN and I went to the front of the boat to watch the huge bridge go over us. It was pretty cool.
We hung out by the pool with the rest of our group after that. Everyone proceeded to start drinking heavily! We had a good time just people-watching, hanging out and dancing to the music played by a dj. I really liked Roger & Grace right away. They are super fun and friendly, plus, they are hilarious. After a bit, we went to our cabins to change into dinner attire.
Dinner was apparently forgettable, since I don't remember anything I ate. :P
After dinner, CN and I were pooped. We had been up since 6am, so we were exhausted. I think we went to bed by 9:30. I slept like a rock!
Ok, I will write more tomorrow!
Monday, April 07, 2008
Cruise Preparations
Most of this weekend was spent prepping for my upcoming vacation.
Friday night, I went shopping with MJ, who helped me pick out some cheap-o hair dye (my roots were bugging me, and I didn't want to be all rooty in my cruise photos). I got some hair products to protect my highlights from fading in the almost-Equator sun and a cute black bikini from Target. (I love bikinis with little shorts on the bottom!)
Then we went to dinner to discuss her new guy. Since I am now happily hooked up, I live vicariously through her single-girl love life. So this new guy is from Myrtle Beach and works for the same company MJ does, just the Myrtle Beach branch of it. So it's not like they technically work together, which I thought was good. So far, they are just enjoying each other's company. MJ doesn't sound like she's looking to jump into a relationship right now. Besides, he was engaged to his last girlfriend, and took the breakup kind of hard. I'm sure he isn't looking to jump into anything, either. But apparently, he's a hottie and she's really enjoying having someone to flirt with. Woo hoo! Go MJ!
Saturday, CN and I went shopping. On our list: swim trunks for him, a beach hat for me, sunblock, body lotion with the self-tanner built in, travel sized goodies and ear plugs (in case our cabin is loud). Aside from the beach hat, we got everything on our list. CN wants to know why he isn't allowed to use my self-tanner body lotion, and I explain to him that it is for girls and that he will have to be rugged and manly and just get his tan the old-fashioned way. Which should be entertaining, because he makes Nicole Kidman look tan. (I made sure to stock up on SPF 55 for him!) I tried to get CN to buy some water wings, since he can't swim, but he didn't go for that idea, even when I tried to bribe him with my self-tanner lotion. We are going to pack a lot of that blue sunburn aloe gel stuff, too. I think we will end up needing some....between his transparent skin and my "D'oh!" moments in the sun safety department, this is probably a good idea.
I was pretty let down in the hat department. I want a wide-brimmed straw hat that will keep the sun off my ears, face, neck and shoulders. I could only find church-style hats with voluminous bows and feathers or inadequate baseball caps. Arg. This might really cramp my style, sunburn-wise. Plus, I wanted to have my very own Pretty Woman moment, with my elegant, chic movie-star beach hat. When paired with big sunglasses, I'd be glamorous AND mysterious. Oh well. That fantasy will have to wait.
Shoot. Just realized I don't have an adequate bathing suit cover-up. Hmmm. Will have to come up with something. I have some shorts...
Yesterday, I decided to tackle my back yard. It was full -- FULL -- of weeds. If I didn't do something quickly, it would become a small Amazon rain forest by the time I get home from my cruise. Because he is awesome, and because the Braves game was inexplicably not televised (yessss), CN helped me. I think making him a big pancake breakfast helped my cause. While weeding, I screeched every time we came across a cricket. I hate crickets. We found two fire ant mounds (and sprinkled with ant killer accordingly). We found 2 little frogs and 2 spider egg sacs (we left them alone, because spiders eat crickets). I was happy to see lots of ladybugs and wormy things in the dirt. I know those are good signs....of something.
"Wow! This is quite a little nature adventure, isn't it?" I said. "Hey, babe, is this grass or a weed?"
"You're not much of an outdoors gal, are you?" he laughed.
"Um, no. Not really. I figured that growing up on a farm, I've done my time with Mother Nature," I replied.
"That's a weed," he explained, yanking it out of the ground.
"But it looks like grass," I said.
He sighed and laughed at me again. Apparently, I am a little rusty on Mother Nature stuff.
Three hours, two trash bags and three filled trash tubs later, my backyard was 90% weeded. And that is good enough for me. By 5pm, I was filthy, I had a farmer's sunburn (oops!) and was totally exhausted. My poor hands are trashed. I had started out wearing work gloves, but didn't feel the blisters on my fingers until it was too late. I took them off to realize that I have four skinned knuckles, and they hurt. I have washed my hands a million times, and I cannot get the dirt and green color out from under my fingernails. My hands are still red and swollen from all the work. They ache. I have new sympathy for those in the lawn care industry. And I vow to never EVER let my yard get that bad again. (Does anyone know how I can make my hands feel better, softer and cleaner??? I really tore them up!)
After a long, cool shower, CN and I watched tv the rest of the day. I took a nice nap on his lap. Although I was tired, I did run home to make him a salmon quesadilla for dinner, since I was so grateful for his help.
All I have left to do is: go to the bank to get some cash, clean my house, return a bottle of sunblock (I don't think I will need four...), paint my toenails, drop Sammy off at MJ's house, bake a cake for MJ to express my gratitude, burn a CD for the drive to Jacksonville and pack!
WHEW. I'm glad I took Wednesday off. I will need a whole day to do all that!
Friday night, I went shopping with MJ, who helped me pick out some cheap-o hair dye (my roots were bugging me, and I didn't want to be all rooty in my cruise photos). I got some hair products to protect my highlights from fading in the almost-Equator sun and a cute black bikini from Target. (I love bikinis with little shorts on the bottom!)
Then we went to dinner to discuss her new guy. Since I am now happily hooked up, I live vicariously through her single-girl love life. So this new guy is from Myrtle Beach and works for the same company MJ does, just the Myrtle Beach branch of it. So it's not like they technically work together, which I thought was good. So far, they are just enjoying each other's company. MJ doesn't sound like she's looking to jump into a relationship right now. Besides, he was engaged to his last girlfriend, and took the breakup kind of hard. I'm sure he isn't looking to jump into anything, either. But apparently, he's a hottie and she's really enjoying having someone to flirt with. Woo hoo! Go MJ!
Saturday, CN and I went shopping. On our list: swim trunks for him, a beach hat for me, sunblock, body lotion with the self-tanner built in, travel sized goodies and ear plugs (in case our cabin is loud). Aside from the beach hat, we got everything on our list. CN wants to know why he isn't allowed to use my self-tanner body lotion, and I explain to him that it is for girls and that he will have to be rugged and manly and just get his tan the old-fashioned way. Which should be entertaining, because he makes Nicole Kidman look tan. (I made sure to stock up on SPF 55 for him!) I tried to get CN to buy some water wings, since he can't swim, but he didn't go for that idea, even when I tried to bribe him with my self-tanner lotion. We are going to pack a lot of that blue sunburn aloe gel stuff, too. I think we will end up needing some....between his transparent skin and my "D'oh!" moments in the sun safety department, this is probably a good idea.
I was pretty let down in the hat department. I want a wide-brimmed straw hat that will keep the sun off my ears, face, neck and shoulders. I could only find church-style hats with voluminous bows and feathers or inadequate baseball caps. Arg. This might really cramp my style, sunburn-wise. Plus, I wanted to have my very own Pretty Woman moment, with my elegant, chic movie-star beach hat. When paired with big sunglasses, I'd be glamorous AND mysterious. Oh well. That fantasy will have to wait.
Shoot. Just realized I don't have an adequate bathing suit cover-up. Hmmm. Will have to come up with something. I have some shorts...
Yesterday, I decided to tackle my back yard. It was full -- FULL -- of weeds. If I didn't do something quickly, it would become a small Amazon rain forest by the time I get home from my cruise. Because he is awesome, and because the Braves game was inexplicably not televised (yessss), CN helped me. I think making him a big pancake breakfast helped my cause. While weeding, I screeched every time we came across a cricket. I hate crickets. We found two fire ant mounds (and sprinkled with ant killer accordingly). We found 2 little frogs and 2 spider egg sacs (we left them alone, because spiders eat crickets). I was happy to see lots of ladybugs and wormy things in the dirt. I know those are good signs....of something.
"Wow! This is quite a little nature adventure, isn't it?" I said. "Hey, babe, is this grass or a weed?"
"You're not much of an outdoors gal, are you?" he laughed.
"Um, no. Not really. I figured that growing up on a farm, I've done my time with Mother Nature," I replied.
"That's a weed," he explained, yanking it out of the ground.
"But it looks like grass," I said.
He sighed and laughed at me again. Apparently, I am a little rusty on Mother Nature stuff.
Three hours, two trash bags and three filled trash tubs later, my backyard was 90% weeded. And that is good enough for me. By 5pm, I was filthy, I had a farmer's sunburn (oops!) and was totally exhausted. My poor hands are trashed. I had started out wearing work gloves, but didn't feel the blisters on my fingers until it was too late. I took them off to realize that I have four skinned knuckles, and they hurt. I have washed my hands a million times, and I cannot get the dirt and green color out from under my fingernails. My hands are still red and swollen from all the work. They ache. I have new sympathy for those in the lawn care industry. And I vow to never EVER let my yard get that bad again. (Does anyone know how I can make my hands feel better, softer and cleaner??? I really tore them up!)
After a long, cool shower, CN and I watched tv the rest of the day. I took a nice nap on his lap. Although I was tired, I did run home to make him a salmon quesadilla for dinner, since I was so grateful for his help.
All I have left to do is: go to the bank to get some cash, clean my house, return a bottle of sunblock (I don't think I will need four...), paint my toenails, drop Sammy off at MJ's house, bake a cake for MJ to express my gratitude, burn a CD for the drive to Jacksonville and pack!
WHEW. I'm glad I took Wednesday off. I will need a whole day to do all that!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Notes from My Brain
Random, random list......this is what happens when nothing big happens, and I don't post for a week. Sorry, peeps.
1. Have I told you about my stalker here at work? Yeah. His name is Cleveland, and he stalks me. He tries to talk to me and ask me questions about my personal life. He has asked me for my phone number and if I have a boyfriend, etc. Needless to say, this is pretty awkward and not really welcome on my part. Not only do I have a boyfriend, but I would never date a student here at the school where I work, anyway -- it's just not a good thing to do professionally. Cleveland became so persistent that I had to tell him that my boyfriend would beat him up if he saw him talking to me. I also dropped heavy hints about my boyfriend's "temper", "weight-lifting" and "gun". It got so bad, that I began to wear a fake engagement ring to work, and walk to my car with other people.
He disappeared randomly and suddenly, last fall semester. I thought I was in the clear. Until this week: he requested me as a friend on myspace. It kind of freaked me out because my page is private, so there is little (if any) identifying information to be found by random people. He had to have sat there and hunted me down from some big list and remember what I look like. It kind of creeps me out. I denied the request and didn't reply to his drunken e-mail. I hope this will be the end of it. If he tries to talk to me again, I am going to call security. But part of me is freaking out a little, because what if he's a psycho and this will just royally piss him off??? Ugh.
2. It's official: I suck -- SUCK-- at dieting. At this point, I figure I might as well give up until after the cruise, because let's face it -- I'm not going to eat well while I'm on that boat. There will be a chocolate buffet, people. A chocolate buffet. Take a minute to imagine that. Yeah. I'm toast. This is in addition to the 24-hour pizza and ice cream station. So really, it's a lost cause. But I swear on all things sacred that I will go hard-core diet when I get back. I have to. Or else I will truly be a heifer. No, seriously -- it's starting to piss me off. There's no reason I can't lose at least 20 pounds. That is not even that much. I am being ridiculous, y'all. There's really no excuse.
I have been pretty good this week, after totally blowing my diet last weekend--more on that in a minute. Thank goodness I have very little junk food in the house right now. That helps a lot. I am still working out a lot, but not quite as much as I used to.
3. Speaking of last weekend, I went shopping with Barbie (aka the girl that Repo dated after me) and one of her friends. We had a good time, and I got some really cute stuff: a square-neck "going out" top in this color, an embroidered, tie-back, semi-see-through summery top in a pale dusty blue color, a cable-knit sweater for work in this color, a pair of jeans, a green/lavender/white-striped sundress and a new pair of black flats (old pair had been chewed by Toby). I also used my Sephora gift card from Xmas to buy some Nars blush. Thanks to some gift cards and great sales, I only ended up spending $100, including lunch at Steak n Shake.
Oh, how I miss S&S. We used to have one here in Columbia, but it closed down. They are my favorite burgers and shakes EVER, so I have been experiencing some withdrawals. My cheeseburger with pickles and half-chocolate/half-vanilla milkshake were so freaking delicious. It's kind of good that the closest one is an hour away from me. Or I really would be in serious diet trouble.
Although I had fun, I did get kind of annoyed hanging out with Barbie and her friend. They are both 23, and I had forgotten how immature 23 year-olds can be. I'm sure I was the same way when I was their age. So I was glad to get home at the end of the day, and away from all the drama and hyper-active ditziness. They are fun girls, but I need them in small doses.
4. I was supposed to get some Magic Hat beer for CN while I was in Charlotte. He loves it, and they don't sell it in SC. But I couldn't find any in the areas we were in. I felt really badly, because he was looking forward to it. So to make it up to him, I made him breakfast on Saturday morning: fried eggs, turkey bacon, sausage, french toast, hashbrowns and biscuits. He brought the orange juice and we had a feast!
By dinner time, I still felt like a lame girlfriend for letting him down, so I made him dinner, too: Chili Mac, which he had never had before. It's a dish popular in the midwest. You put spaghetti noodles on the bottom (NOT macaroni noodles, as some imposter recipes call for!), chili beef (which has been cooked with chili spices and beer) on top of that, then kidney beans, diced onions and lots of cheese. It is soooooooo good! It is very similar to Cincinnati-style chili, only I don't put cinnamon in it. But if you ever get the chance to try Skyline Chili or any other Cincy-style chili, you will love it! I know the cinnamon sounds weird, but trust me. Nothing beats this meal on a cold, rainy day.
5. I am still doing pretty well on the budgeting. But I can see the effects of the increasing gas prices: although I am buying the same things I buy every week, my Wal-Mart bill has been slowly creeping. All the stuff I used to buy for $50 is now more like $55-60. Ouch. In order not to de-rail all of my budgeting hard work so far, I am only bringing $200 with me on the cruise.
I figure, I have already paid for my ticket, which covers all my food. I don't drink alcohol. I will probably drink tap water for most of the cruise (I don't really drink sodas anymore). I don't gamble. I won't use their over-priced spa/salon. CN and I have decided not to spend any money on the $100-a-pop excursions. Instead, we are just going to find a beach and pop a squat. If we order sandwiches from room service before we get off the cruise ship in the morning, we can even avoid paying for lunch! The only things I am planning to spend money on include: half of the parking at the port and a few souvenirs. So I am thinking that I will be able to only end up spending about $150.
6. I am really excited about my upcoming orientation for Big Brothers Big Sisters. It will be in 3 weeks!!! I hope I do ok on the interview. I hope I like the little girl they pair me with. I hope she likes me! I was thinking of some fun activities we could do together. Here's what I've come up with so far:
take Sammy for a walk
bake a pie or cookies
color in a coloring book
play with Barbies
paint our fingernails and watch a movie (maybe a Disney princess movie??)
play a card game/board game
read books (I like reading books to kids)
go to a museum or the zoo
What do you think? If any of you (Becky!) have little girls, please share some fun ideas with me! I don't really know what kids are into these days. I'm worried she will be let down that I don't have any video games at my house.
7. I know a lot of you also read MJ's blog. Well, she doesn't really blog about her personal life anymore. She now does a dog-related blog. So that means, any dirt about her dating life will have to come from me. I would love to divulge some stuff for you, but I need to talk to her and see what she is ok with. I don't want to step on her toes. But I'll see what I can do.
8. CN and I just celebrated our 7 month anniversary. Hate to get all sappy on you, but it has been the happiest 7 months of my life. He is everything I have ever wanted or hoped for in a relationship. I honestly didn't think that men like him existed. And I know he must feel the same way, too, because he FINALLY dropped the "L" word a few weeks ago and gave me a key to his place. Aw.
Ok, more on next week's cruise coming up in tomorrow's post!!!
1. Have I told you about my stalker here at work? Yeah. His name is Cleveland, and he stalks me. He tries to talk to me and ask me questions about my personal life. He has asked me for my phone number and if I have a boyfriend, etc. Needless to say, this is pretty awkward and not really welcome on my part. Not only do I have a boyfriend, but I would never date a student here at the school where I work, anyway -- it's just not a good thing to do professionally. Cleveland became so persistent that I had to tell him that my boyfriend would beat him up if he saw him talking to me. I also dropped heavy hints about my boyfriend's "temper", "weight-lifting" and "gun". It got so bad, that I began to wear a fake engagement ring to work, and walk to my car with other people.
He disappeared randomly and suddenly, last fall semester. I thought I was in the clear. Until this week: he requested me as a friend on myspace. It kind of freaked me out because my page is private, so there is little (if any) identifying information to be found by random people. He had to have sat there and hunted me down from some big list and remember what I look like. It kind of creeps me out. I denied the request and didn't reply to his drunken e-mail. I hope this will be the end of it. If he tries to talk to me again, I am going to call security. But part of me is freaking out a little, because what if he's a psycho and this will just royally piss him off??? Ugh.
2. It's official: I suck -- SUCK-- at dieting. At this point, I figure I might as well give up until after the cruise, because let's face it -- I'm not going to eat well while I'm on that boat. There will be a chocolate buffet, people. A chocolate buffet. Take a minute to imagine that. Yeah. I'm toast. This is in addition to the 24-hour pizza and ice cream station. So really, it's a lost cause. But I swear on all things sacred that I will go hard-core diet when I get back. I have to. Or else I will truly be a heifer. No, seriously -- it's starting to piss me off. There's no reason I can't lose at least 20 pounds. That is not even that much. I am being ridiculous, y'all. There's really no excuse.
I have been pretty good this week, after totally blowing my diet last weekend--more on that in a minute. Thank goodness I have very little junk food in the house right now. That helps a lot. I am still working out a lot, but not quite as much as I used to.
3. Speaking of last weekend, I went shopping with Barbie (aka the girl that Repo dated after me) and one of her friends. We had a good time, and I got some really cute stuff: a square-neck "going out" top in this color, an embroidered, tie-back, semi-see-through summery top in a pale dusty blue color, a cable-knit sweater for work in this color, a pair of jeans, a green/lavender/white-striped sundress and a new pair of black flats (old pair had been chewed by Toby). I also used my Sephora gift card from Xmas to buy some Nars blush. Thanks to some gift cards and great sales, I only ended up spending $100, including lunch at Steak n Shake.
Oh, how I miss S&S. We used to have one here in Columbia, but it closed down. They are my favorite burgers and shakes EVER, so I have been experiencing some withdrawals. My cheeseburger with pickles and half-chocolate/half-vanilla milkshake were so freaking delicious. It's kind of good that the closest one is an hour away from me. Or I really would be in serious diet trouble.
Although I had fun, I did get kind of annoyed hanging out with Barbie and her friend. They are both 23, and I had forgotten how immature 23 year-olds can be. I'm sure I was the same way when I was their age. So I was glad to get home at the end of the day, and away from all the drama and hyper-active ditziness. They are fun girls, but I need them in small doses.
4. I was supposed to get some Magic Hat beer for CN while I was in Charlotte. He loves it, and they don't sell it in SC. But I couldn't find any in the areas we were in. I felt really badly, because he was looking forward to it. So to make it up to him, I made him breakfast on Saturday morning: fried eggs, turkey bacon, sausage, french toast, hashbrowns and biscuits. He brought the orange juice and we had a feast!
By dinner time, I still felt like a lame girlfriend for letting him down, so I made him dinner, too: Chili Mac, which he had never had before. It's a dish popular in the midwest. You put spaghetti noodles on the bottom (NOT macaroni noodles, as some imposter recipes call for!), chili beef (which has been cooked with chili spices and beer) on top of that, then kidney beans, diced onions and lots of cheese. It is soooooooo good! It is very similar to Cincinnati-style chili, only I don't put cinnamon in it. But if you ever get the chance to try Skyline Chili or any other Cincy-style chili, you will love it! I know the cinnamon sounds weird, but trust me. Nothing beats this meal on a cold, rainy day.
5. I am still doing pretty well on the budgeting. But I can see the effects of the increasing gas prices: although I am buying the same things I buy every week, my Wal-Mart bill has been slowly creeping. All the stuff I used to buy for $50 is now more like $55-60. Ouch. In order not to de-rail all of my budgeting hard work so far, I am only bringing $200 with me on the cruise.
I figure, I have already paid for my ticket, which covers all my food. I don't drink alcohol. I will probably drink tap water for most of the cruise (I don't really drink sodas anymore). I don't gamble. I won't use their over-priced spa/salon. CN and I have decided not to spend any money on the $100-a-pop excursions. Instead, we are just going to find a beach and pop a squat. If we order sandwiches from room service before we get off the cruise ship in the morning, we can even avoid paying for lunch! The only things I am planning to spend money on include: half of the parking at the port and a few souvenirs. So I am thinking that I will be able to only end up spending about $150.
6. I am really excited about my upcoming orientation for Big Brothers Big Sisters. It will be in 3 weeks!!! I hope I do ok on the interview. I hope I like the little girl they pair me with. I hope she likes me! I was thinking of some fun activities we could do together. Here's what I've come up with so far:
take Sammy for a walk
bake a pie or cookies
color in a coloring book
play with Barbies
paint our fingernails and watch a movie (maybe a Disney princess movie??)
play a card game/board game
read books (I like reading books to kids)
go to a museum or the zoo
What do you think? If any of you (Becky!) have little girls, please share some fun ideas with me! I don't really know what kids are into these days. I'm worried she will be let down that I don't have any video games at my house.
7. I know a lot of you also read MJ's blog. Well, she doesn't really blog about her personal life anymore. She now does a dog-related blog. So that means, any dirt about her dating life will have to come from me. I would love to divulge some stuff for you, but I need to talk to her and see what she is ok with. I don't want to step on her toes. But I'll see what I can do.
8. CN and I just celebrated our 7 month anniversary. Hate to get all sappy on you, but it has been the happiest 7 months of my life. He is everything I have ever wanted or hoped for in a relationship. I honestly didn't think that men like him existed. And I know he must feel the same way, too, because he FINALLY dropped the "L" word a few weeks ago and gave me a key to his place. Aw.
Ok, more on next week's cruise coming up in tomorrow's post!!!
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Thirteen is the Loneliest Number
One of CN's cousins passed away yesterday. :( He was about my age. The autopsy results are still pending, but it looks like it was similar to what happened to Heath Ledger. I guess he had the flu and took a whole bunch of stuff. CN will leave tomorrow (Friday) morning for the funeral in Alabama (that's where his mother's family is from) and won't be back until Sunday. I haven't talked to CN about it a whole lot, because you know, sometimes people don't want to talk about stuff like that. But he did say he's bummed about it. So I made him some cookies to cheer him up.
Meanwhile, MJ's battening down the hatches in preparation for her mother's visit. So she will be tied up with that this weekend.
KT has moved to New York state, so she is gone now.
That leaves me on my own this weekend. So let's think of some fun/productive ways to spend the Weekend of Me.
1. Clean my house! Ugh, it has been gravely neglected.
2. Organize papers, finances, recipes, photographs, etc.
3. Paint my coffee table (a pale, metallic blue color), which I have been meaning to do since JULY.
4. Hang my curtains (lightweight, sheer white cotton) -- another project left over from July's major house decorating binge with The Czarina. She cannot believe I haven't finished these projects, but I tell her that she is my muse and inspiration and I lose all passion when she is not near. *snort!* But seriously, she gets me all excited about decorating, but when she leaves, it's like the air is let out of a balloon. Or whatever. You know what I mean. She makes it sound fun.
5. Speaking of home decorating, CN has gotten me hooked on this home makeover show called Clean House. Have you seen it? It's kind of cheesy, but somehow, I am addicted. I love the hostess, Niecy! I just saw this one episode where they re-did this woman's bedroom. They painted the walls this color (only slightly more purple-y) and then everything else -- and I mean everything else -- was white. It looked amazing. I can't wait to watch more episodes this weekend!
6. That reminds me....I have almost 2 weeks' worth of stuff on my DVR to watch....
7. And a Netflix movie to watch. It's a horror movie...I think it's about a girl who is possessed by the devil...I can't remember. And no, it's not The Exorcist.
8. Sammy needs a bath, BIG time. And a thorough brushing of the teeth. His breath could stun an ox right now. I'm not kidding. He woke me out of a dead sleep the other day. It is truly heinous.
9. My backyard? Totally disgusting. Weeds, pine straw strewn everywhere... not to mention untold amounts of dog poop. I am currently in denial about the abysmal state of my back yard. I really should get to that this weekend at some point. Shoot....E has my gardening gloves....note to self........
10. There is an IU game on this weekend, too. (Like how I keep coming up with excuses to watch tv? LOL) I should kill two birds with one stone and watch it while I run on a treadmill at the gym. On an unrelated note, I kicked ASS at the gym on Monday -- 2.5 miles of running, sometimes getting as fast as 6.5 mph!!! Go me! Oh, and that was after my hour-long weight lifting class. I paid for it with a quarter-sized blister on each foot. Ouch!
11. Finish reading the books I checked out about The Bahamas!!! 34 days until the cruise...we got our tickets in the mail this week! Woo Hoo!!
12. My friend Super and I have been talking about having a doggy play date. She has a Jack Russell terrier. I should give her a call. She and I have never really hung out on our own before.
13. Go for coffee with Repo's (now) ex-girlfriend. Yup. You read that correctly...Is your jaw dropping? Because it should be. If you need the back story because you're lost or have fuzzy recollections about all the old drama, look at my post from 2/1/07.
Tee hee, aren't I mean for not divulging juicy details? Ha ha!
Meanwhile, MJ's battening down the hatches in preparation for her mother's visit. So she will be tied up with that this weekend.
KT has moved to New York state, so she is gone now.
That leaves me on my own this weekend. So let's think of some fun/productive ways to spend the Weekend of Me.
Thirteen Things to Do Alone This Weekend
1. Clean my house! Ugh, it has been gravely neglected.
2. Organize papers, finances, recipes, photographs, etc.
3. Paint my coffee table (a pale, metallic blue color), which I have been meaning to do since JULY.
4. Hang my curtains (lightweight, sheer white cotton) -- another project left over from July's major house decorating binge with The Czarina. She cannot believe I haven't finished these projects, but I tell her that she is my muse and inspiration and I lose all passion when she is not near. *snort!* But seriously, she gets me all excited about decorating, but when she leaves, it's like the air is let out of a balloon. Or whatever. You know what I mean. She makes it sound fun.
5. Speaking of home decorating, CN has gotten me hooked on this home makeover show called Clean House. Have you seen it? It's kind of cheesy, but somehow, I am addicted. I love the hostess, Niecy! I just saw this one episode where they re-did this woman's bedroom. They painted the walls this color (only slightly more purple-y) and then everything else -- and I mean everything else -- was white. It looked amazing. I can't wait to watch more episodes this weekend!
6. That reminds me....I have almost 2 weeks' worth of stuff on my DVR to watch....
7. And a Netflix movie to watch. It's a horror movie...I think it's about a girl who is possessed by the devil...I can't remember. And no, it's not The Exorcist.
8. Sammy needs a bath, BIG time. And a thorough brushing of the teeth. His breath could stun an ox right now. I'm not kidding. He woke me out of a dead sleep the other day. It is truly heinous.
9. My backyard? Totally disgusting. Weeds, pine straw strewn everywhere... not to mention untold amounts of dog poop. I am currently in denial about the abysmal state of my back yard. I really should get to that this weekend at some point. Shoot....E has my gardening gloves....note to self........
10. There is an IU game on this weekend, too. (Like how I keep coming up with excuses to watch tv? LOL) I should kill two birds with one stone and watch it while I run on a treadmill at the gym. On an unrelated note, I kicked ASS at the gym on Monday -- 2.5 miles of running, sometimes getting as fast as 6.5 mph!!! Go me! Oh, and that was after my hour-long weight lifting class. I paid for it with a quarter-sized blister on each foot. Ouch!
11. Finish reading the books I checked out about The Bahamas!!! 34 days until the cruise...we got our tickets in the mail this week! Woo Hoo!!
12. My friend Super and I have been talking about having a doggy play date. She has a Jack Russell terrier. I should give her a call. She and I have never really hung out on our own before.
13. Go for coffee with Repo's (now) ex-girlfriend. Yup. You read that correctly...Is your jaw dropping? Because it should be. If you need the back story because you're lost or have fuzzy recollections about all the old drama, look at my post from 2/1/07.
Tee hee, aren't I mean for not divulging juicy details? Ha ha!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thursday 13: KT
At the end of this weekend, KT is moving back to her hometown of Utica, NY. I know that MJ is pretty bummed, and I am too. Although we understand that she's gotta do what she's gotta do, it just won't be the same without her. So until we can reunite the Black Ponies again (inside joke!), MJ and I will be here in SC, feeling sad that these things will not be the same without our dear KT.
*sniff!!*
1. Eating Mexican food. Or going to Yesterday's for their yummy chicken and grits.
2. Going to watch our favorite local band, Loch Ness Johnny.
3. Going out for Girl's Night......pink champagne....crazy drunk men....who knows what would happen???
4. Giggling over the same old inside jokes. ("Belle??")
5. Eating dinner at our favorite special-occasion restaurant, The Blue Marlin. Or, as one of us slurred once, "The Moo Blarlin".
6. Planning our next trip together. (We have been talking about hitting Philly next...but I don't know if it will beat our NYC trip last summer...)
7. Playing with and talking about our dogs. Or, in KT's case, sneaking them into hockey games.
8. Making birthday cakes (or, in MJ's case, pies) for each other.
9. Bowling nights with Mr. Bill & Crew.
10. Going to Goatfeather's (a local restaurant) or Starbuck's for coffee and long, deep discussions about men and our lives.
11. Cheesecake.
12. The St. Patty's Day festival in 5 Points.
13. Pretty much everything. Even turning "blight". (Yeah, we have a lot of inside jokes...can you tell??)
Oh!!! I am getting really sad writing this!!! KT, we will miss you so much. I can't wait until you come back in May to see us. :')
*sniff!!*
1. Eating Mexican food. Or going to Yesterday's for their yummy chicken and grits.
2. Going to watch our favorite local band, Loch Ness Johnny.
3. Going out for Girl's Night......pink champagne....crazy drunk men....who knows what would happen???
4. Giggling over the same old inside jokes. ("Belle??")
5. Eating dinner at our favorite special-occasion restaurant, The Blue Marlin. Or, as one of us slurred once, "The Moo Blarlin".
6. Planning our next trip together. (We have been talking about hitting Philly next...but I don't know if it will beat our NYC trip last summer...)
7. Playing with and talking about our dogs. Or, in KT's case, sneaking them into hockey games.
8. Making birthday cakes (or, in MJ's case, pies) for each other.
9. Bowling nights with Mr. Bill & Crew.
10. Going to Goatfeather's (a local restaurant) or Starbuck's for coffee and long, deep discussions about men and our lives.
11. Cheesecake.
12. The St. Patty's Day festival in 5 Points.
13. Pretty much everything. Even turning "blight". (Yeah, we have a lot of inside jokes...can you tell??)
Oh!!! I am getting really sad writing this!!! KT, we will miss you so much. I can't wait until you come back in May to see us. :')
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Writer's Block
Well, crap. I am suffering from major blog writer's block. I don't have much of anything to report. Everything is sort of "same shit, different day". Not that I'm complaining. It's just hard to blog. I'm sure I can come up with something. Um, let's see...
CN is fine. He's still wonderful. Although he did lose some points this past weekend. On Sunday, I told him I would make dinner for him when he got back from watching the Falcons play. I wanted to eat at 6pm, but he said that he was still full from all the nachos he ate at 3pm.
Now, this is just a word of advice to men: if your woman is making you dinner, DO NOT spoil your dinner by eating nachos mid-afternoon. It's very inconsiderate.
"Grrrr..." I thought.
"Ok, how about dinner at 7pm?" I texted.
"Sounds good!" he replied.
Soon it is 7:00. No CN to be found. At this point, dinner is ready to eat and waiting on him to cross the street to my house. He was probably sitting on his couch, watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" or "Curb Your Enthusiasm".
"Grrr..." I thought.
Word of advice to anyone: It is rude to be late to dinner. Usually because it means people are waiting on you and the food is being kept warm. Sometimes, keeping it warm can affect the quality of the food. Sometimes, this can cause the rice to stick to the pot like.....well, like white on rice. This kind of rice is extremely difficult to scrub off of said pot. Which often makes cooks angry.
"GRRRRR!!!" I thought as 7:15 ticked by.
I sat down on my couch, too stubborn to call him and see what in the hell he was doing. I began to work on my recipe organizing project to distract myself from my irritation. I was still busy working on it when he decided to show up. It was 7:30.
"GRRRRR!!!" I thought when he walked in the door.
"Rumble!!" said my empty tummy. (I was ready to eat at 6pm, so I was pretty hungry by this point.....although, my anger was definitely causing me to begin to lose my appetite.)
"Hey Babe! I have been so lazy today. I just laid on my couch after I got home from watching the game..." said CN.
"Hi," I said, frigidly. No hug. No eye contact. I was Ice Queen.
He instantly knew something was wrong. I told him I was annoyed and hungry. He said he didn't realize I was waiting on him. That's when I informed him that cooking dinner is different than cooking breakfast -- it's more than just cracking a couple of eggs into a frying pan. It takes time. If I say we are eating at 7:00, that means forkfuls of food are being sent to my empty tummy at that time. Then I told him that I was more irritated at the fact that he spoiled his dinner by eating a whole thing of nachos late in the afternoon when he knew I was making him dinner. That's just inconsiderate.
Ok, I didn't tell him he was inconsiderate. But I did make him feel badly. He apologized profusely and asked if he could do anything to make it up to me. I told him he had to do all the dishes, even the stuck-rice one. He said ok.
We ate. He washed. I felt better. We had a make-up smooching session.
Unfortunately, the handle on the rice pot broke during all of this (um...during dinner, not during the make-out session, that is). It was my fault, not his. And I was kind of upset, because the pot used to belong to my Grandma Virginia. I never met her, and I am named after her. All I have are her recipes and her pot, which is now broken. It is pretty old (from about the 1950s, I think), so I guess it had to go sometime. CN can't fix the handle, and neither can I. It's cracked, and the screw won't "stick". Glue might work, but I'm thinking it might melt or something when I heat up the pot. So I might see if I can find a replacement on eBay. I'm kind of bummed out about the pot, actually. :'(
I am secretly hoping CN will read my mind and get me a replacement pot for Christmas......but I'm not holding my breath. And if you are one of my readers who knows CN in real life, please do not tell him this, because then it won't count. Guys have to think up their own things for girlfriends for Christmas. That's the rule.
Anyway....let's see, what else.......
Last night, MJ and I hung out -- we were sorely in need of some Girl Time. In fact, we are having MORE Girl Time this weekend! Woo Hoo! We love hanging out with our new boyfs, but after having Boyfriend Weekends last weekend, we are wanting some alone/friend time. I am excited -- I haven't gone out with just MJ and KT in a long, long time.
Tonight I'm hanging out with CN, though. I haven't really seen him or talked to him since the Dinner Incident, and he really wants to see me. "I want to take you out somewhere nice for dinner. Are you free tonight?" he texted me today. How can you be mad at this guy? He's such a sweetheart.
Ugh. This blog is turning into a Boyfriend Blog. Which makes me kinda throw up a little. I need to get some variety in here. Does anyone have any ideas? Posting requests? I have major writers' block, guys! Help!
CN is fine. He's still wonderful. Although he did lose some points this past weekend. On Sunday, I told him I would make dinner for him when he got back from watching the Falcons play. I wanted to eat at 6pm, but he said that he was still full from all the nachos he ate at 3pm.
Now, this is just a word of advice to men: if your woman is making you dinner, DO NOT spoil your dinner by eating nachos mid-afternoon. It's very inconsiderate.
"Grrrr..." I thought.
"Ok, how about dinner at 7pm?" I texted.
"Sounds good!" he replied.
Soon it is 7:00. No CN to be found. At this point, dinner is ready to eat and waiting on him to cross the street to my house. He was probably sitting on his couch, watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" or "Curb Your Enthusiasm".
"Grrr..." I thought.
Word of advice to anyone: It is rude to be late to dinner. Usually because it means people are waiting on you and the food is being kept warm. Sometimes, keeping it warm can affect the quality of the food. Sometimes, this can cause the rice to stick to the pot like.....well, like white on rice. This kind of rice is extremely difficult to scrub off of said pot. Which often makes cooks angry.
"GRRRRR!!!" I thought as 7:15 ticked by.
I sat down on my couch, too stubborn to call him and see what in the hell he was doing. I began to work on my recipe organizing project to distract myself from my irritation. I was still busy working on it when he decided to show up. It was 7:30.
"GRRRRR!!!" I thought when he walked in the door.
"Rumble!!" said my empty tummy. (I was ready to eat at 6pm, so I was pretty hungry by this point.....although, my anger was definitely causing me to begin to lose my appetite.)
"Hey Babe! I have been so lazy today. I just laid on my couch after I got home from watching the game..." said CN.
"Hi," I said, frigidly. No hug. No eye contact. I was Ice Queen.
He instantly knew something was wrong. I told him I was annoyed and hungry. He said he didn't realize I was waiting on him. That's when I informed him that cooking dinner is different than cooking breakfast -- it's more than just cracking a couple of eggs into a frying pan. It takes time. If I say we are eating at 7:00, that means forkfuls of food are being sent to my empty tummy at that time. Then I told him that I was more irritated at the fact that he spoiled his dinner by eating a whole thing of nachos late in the afternoon when he knew I was making him dinner. That's just inconsiderate.
Ok, I didn't tell him he was inconsiderate. But I did make him feel badly. He apologized profusely and asked if he could do anything to make it up to me. I told him he had to do all the dishes, even the stuck-rice one. He said ok.
We ate. He washed. I felt better. We had a make-up smooching session.
Unfortunately, the handle on the rice pot broke during all of this (um...during dinner, not during the make-out session, that is). It was my fault, not his. And I was kind of upset, because the pot used to belong to my Grandma Virginia. I never met her, and I am named after her. All I have are her recipes and her pot, which is now broken. It is pretty old (from about the 1950s, I think), so I guess it had to go sometime. CN can't fix the handle, and neither can I. It's cracked, and the screw won't "stick". Glue might work, but I'm thinking it might melt or something when I heat up the pot. So I might see if I can find a replacement on eBay. I'm kind of bummed out about the pot, actually. :'(
I am secretly hoping CN will read my mind and get me a replacement pot for Christmas......but I'm not holding my breath. And if you are one of my readers who knows CN in real life, please do not tell him this, because then it won't count. Guys have to think up their own things for girlfriends for Christmas. That's the rule.
Anyway....let's see, what else.......
Last night, MJ and I hung out -- we were sorely in need of some Girl Time. In fact, we are having MORE Girl Time this weekend! Woo Hoo! We love hanging out with our new boyfs, but after having Boyfriend Weekends last weekend, we are wanting some alone/friend time. I am excited -- I haven't gone out with just MJ and KT in a long, long time.
Tonight I'm hanging out with CN, though. I haven't really seen him or talked to him since the Dinner Incident, and he really wants to see me. "I want to take you out somewhere nice for dinner. Are you free tonight?" he texted me today. How can you be mad at this guy? He's such a sweetheart.
Ugh. This blog is turning into a Boyfriend Blog. Which makes me kinda throw up a little. I need to get some variety in here. Does anyone have any ideas? Posting requests? I have major writers' block, guys! Help!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Costume Party!!!
My friend S (of the Happy Hour Crew -- see sidebar) and her boyfriend are throwing their 5th annual Halloween Costume Party tonight! Yay!!! Anyone can go, but everyone HAS to wear a costume. I LOVE wearing costumes, especially wigs. I can't wait to see S (she will be a Native American Princess) and her man (a cowboy). E and B are coming, too -- they are going to be Catholic school students. The rest of the Happy Hour Crew is going, but I have no idea what they are going to be. I can't wait to see what everyone thought up.
I am bringing the following people with me: CN, MJ, VW, The Runner, one of the members of the Rat Pack (who is randomly in town from NY!) and his roommate (who came down from NY for the ride). I don't know what any one is going to be, except for CN:
(and in case you are thinking it's just a cop costume, he would want me to tell you that he's going to be a character from Super Troopers, complete with a real mustache!)
...and The Runner:
Which will be hilarious! I can't wait to get my picture taken with the Burger King!
After much indecision, I have finally decided on a costume and have gathered everything I need. I bet you can guess what I'm going to be!
E even made me this to go with my costume!! Isn't that cool??? I'll be carrying it around at the party.
I will probably take a lot of pics this weekend. If any of them are anonymous enough, I will share with you. Tell me what you're going to be for Halloween!!! I love how creative people get for this holiday. Share with me, peeps!
I am bringing the following people with me: CN, MJ, VW, The Runner, one of the members of the Rat Pack (who is randomly in town from NY!) and his roommate (who came down from NY for the ride). I don't know what any one is going to be, except for CN:
(and in case you are thinking it's just a cop costume, he would want me to tell you that he's going to be a character from Super Troopers, complete with a real mustache!)
...and The Runner:
Which will be hilarious! I can't wait to get my picture taken with the Burger King!After much indecision, I have finally decided on a costume and have gathered everything I need. I bet you can guess what I'm going to be!
E even made me this to go with my costume!! Isn't that cool??? I'll be carrying it around at the party.
I will probably take a lot of pics this weekend. If any of them are anonymous enough, I will share with you. Tell me what you're going to be for Halloween!!! I love how creative people get for this holiday. Share with me, peeps!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
"L" Ready?
Get it? Har har.
I have a cold, and have been vegging out on my couch. That's why I've been MIA. But I feel a little better today, so I'll give you the weekend re-cap.
Friday night was rather uneventful, but Saturday was super fun.
We (me, KT, VW, CN and Stuck) all surprised MJ for her birthday. She had no idea we were all gathered together at her favorite restaurant to surprise her with a night of drunken debauchery. She thought she was just going out to dinner with VW.
We started at The Blue Marlin for dinner (her favorite restaurant) and had a chocolate-raspberry cake from Chocolate Nirvana Bakery for dessert. Mmmmmm!!!
CN felt awful, because as he and I were taking the cake to the restaurant, he had to slam on his brakes to avoid running a red light, causing the cake to fall off the seat of the car and get a little smushed on one side. He claims I was distracting him from his driving, but I deny this. I was merely wearing a low-cut top and patent leather stilettos. I can't help it if touching up my makeup in the vanity mirror almost causes traffic accidents. ;)
In actuality, he seriously almost killed us! At the last second, I shouted, "Sweetie!! That's a RED LIGHT!" He wasn't paying attention, I guess, because by the time we stopped, we were halfway into the intersection! It was pretty funny, because he teases me for being a crazy driver, but now I just say, "Well, at least I've never almost killed us."
Anyway, MJ didn't mind that her cake was a little smushed. She was just enjoying her birthday. She had no idea we were all surprising her or that we got her an ipod for her birthday.
Little did I know, she was about to give me a small surprise. During the course of the dinner conversation, she proceeds to mention that I was messed up on Vicodin on my first date with CN.
"What?" asked CN.
"Gee, thanks, MJ," I retorted sarcastically.
"You didn't tell him? I thought you told him!" she exclaimed.
"Nope. No I didn't tell him about that. But now I have to, I guess!" I said.
"I am so sorry. I thought you told him!" she said.
"It's ok," I said.
And then I proceeded to confess to CN that I was on Vicodin at the time of our first date, but didn't want to tell him out of fear that he would think I have an addiction to painkillers or something. I was worried that he would be upset, but he wasn't. WHEW!
"Why did you go out with me when you knew you were all messed up? Why not just stay home?" he said.
"Because I knew that if I didn't go out with you, you were the kind of guy who would never ask me out again. I had to say yes!" I explained.
"Oh. Well, that's true. I probably wouldn't have," he conceded.
"See?" I said.
Then I told him how difficult it was for me to get ready and focus on dinner conversation when I'm on Vicodin, and he just laughed. I explained to him why I took it that evening and that I don't do it all the time or anything. I also said that it should show him how much I wanted to go out with him -- I spent a good deal of the night feeling nauseous!
MJ apologized to me later and said that she felt awful for letting the cat out of the bag. But it ended up being no big deal, and now he teases me about it.
We went back to our dinner. The chocolate cake was fantastic. After dinner, we proceeded to get MJ good n drunk.
She only remembers bits and pieces of the evening. She doesn't remember how KT and I made fun of her drunken walking. She doesn't remember sulking and pretending to cry whenever someone didn't do what she wanted. She doesn't remember falling down a couple of times. She doesn't remember flashing most of the crowd at Local's as she climbed up onto the bar to receive her free birthday shot. She doesn't remember crashing into a table and breaking several empty glasses, causing us to get kicked out of Bar None.
Needless to say, we all had a really fun time and didn't get home until about 3am.
That's when I got called out again. (What was it? Pick on VB day??) CN and I were driving home when he asked me a very blunt question.
"Hey, when we were at Local's, and you were all touchy-feely on me, were you only doing that because your ex-boyfriend was there? Because if that's the case, it doesn't make me feel good." he said.
Shit. Ummm.....
You see, as soon as MJ said she wanted to go to Local's, I thought, "Uh-oh. That's where Repo goes all the time. He will probably be there." But I didn't want to protest, because it was MJ's birthday. So I said ok, knowing full well what would happen: If Repo was there, I would probably try to rub it in his face that I am in a very happy relationship now.
That's exactly what happened, and that's exactly what I did.* And now, I was being called out on it. Shit. I totally deserved to be called out. I was immature and selfish and behaved totally inappropriately.
So I told him that I was only human and that yes, that was part of it. I told him I pretty much knew what was going to happen once I got there. But since it was very crowded in there, it was that much easier to be physical on the dance floor. My intentions were only halfway bad.
I can't remember exactly what CN said, but it was along the lines of, "Don't do that again. It made me feel like shit." -- a message I heard loud and clear. Commence massive guilt trip. We agreed that maybe we shouldn't go to Local's anymore. Not only because of Repo, but also because CN started to get a panic attack while we were there -- he doesn't do well with crowds.
At this point, not only was I dealing with a massive guilt trip, but now I was worried that I am going to screw up this relationship with my stupid decisions. I am going to ruin everything, because I am a moron. Crap!
So I told him I was going to take a quick shower, get into my pjs and then come over. He said ok.
Twenty minutes later, we were snuggling and talking in his bed. That's when he told me that he's falling in love with me.
WHAT?
Yeah. With me, the immature girl who uses him to try and make an ex jealous, the girl who takes Vicodin recreationally. Is he crazy? I am obviously a shitty girlfriend!
I said, "Um, really?" -- I was so shocked, this was all I could say. I was practically speechless.
"Yeah. I just haven't felt like this about anyone in a really, really long time. I have very strong feelings for you, and I just wanted to tell you because I think it's good to do that," he said.
Aw.
"But.....Sweetie, we haven't been dating that long. That's kind of...soon. I mean, I am charming, and all...." I joked.
"Yeah, I know. But that's how I feel," he replied.
"I really care about you, too. I mean, I'm not there yet, but I'm definitely on my way....are you mad that I didn't say it back?" I asked, worried. (I don't believe in using the "L" word unless you mean it. And even though I am almost ready to say those three little words, I am not quite there yet.)
"Whoa, I didn't say I was in love with you, just that I feel like I am headed in that direction!" he said.
"Are you back-pedaling???" I giggled.
"No. But I do really really care about you," he said.
Aw. Alright, I'm not sharing the rest of the conversation, because it was entirely too schmoopy and sappy, and it involved me crying, so let's just not go there, ok? Ok. Let's just say that the last bit of it went like this:
CN: Are we just going to sit here complimenting each other all night, or are we going to go to sleep?
Me: Oh. *giggle* Yeah, I guess we should go to bed now. I'm pretty tired, and it's probably like 4am.
*smooch!*
*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....*
So what do you think? Was CN back-pedaling? Do you think he's in The Big L with me? Or is it too soon? Was I out of line at Local's? Wouldn't it have been weirder if I had ignored CN when we were at Local's? Will I ever grow up and stop screwing things up with CN? What should I do to remedy this situation/loss of trust? And finally, am I indeed going to Hell? Or do I just deserve to get smacked?
Your thoughts and comments are appreciated, as always, dear readers.
* I would like to add that Repo looked like shit. He has gained so much weight since we broke up and he looked miserable! He looked like he was really down/depressed. He definitely saw me with my new boyfriend, and I could tell it bothered him. Plus, thanks to the grapevine that is Columbia, I'm pretty sure he and his girlfriend broke up. And I can't say that I didn't get a teeny bit of satisfaction from that.....ugh, I am terrible, I know. I'm going to hell. I am slowly learning to accept this fact.
I have a cold, and have been vegging out on my couch. That's why I've been MIA. But I feel a little better today, so I'll give you the weekend re-cap.
Friday night was rather uneventful, but Saturday was super fun.
We (me, KT, VW, CN and Stuck) all surprised MJ for her birthday. She had no idea we were all gathered together at her favorite restaurant to surprise her with a night of drunken debauchery. She thought she was just going out to dinner with VW.
We started at The Blue Marlin for dinner (her favorite restaurant) and had a chocolate-raspberry cake from Chocolate Nirvana Bakery for dessert. Mmmmmm!!!
CN felt awful, because as he and I were taking the cake to the restaurant, he had to slam on his brakes to avoid running a red light, causing the cake to fall off the seat of the car and get a little smushed on one side. He claims I was distracting him from his driving, but I deny this. I was merely wearing a low-cut top and patent leather stilettos. I can't help it if touching up my makeup in the vanity mirror almost causes traffic accidents. ;)
In actuality, he seriously almost killed us! At the last second, I shouted, "Sweetie!! That's a RED LIGHT!" He wasn't paying attention, I guess, because by the time we stopped, we were halfway into the intersection! It was pretty funny, because he teases me for being a crazy driver, but now I just say, "Well, at least I've never almost killed us."
Anyway, MJ didn't mind that her cake was a little smushed. She was just enjoying her birthday. She had no idea we were all surprising her or that we got her an ipod for her birthday.
Little did I know, she was about to give me a small surprise. During the course of the dinner conversation, she proceeds to mention that I was messed up on Vicodin on my first date with CN.
"What?" asked CN.
"Gee, thanks, MJ," I retorted sarcastically.
"You didn't tell him? I thought you told him!" she exclaimed.
"Nope. No I didn't tell him about that. But now I have to, I guess!" I said.
"I am so sorry. I thought you told him!" she said.
"It's ok," I said.
And then I proceeded to confess to CN that I was on Vicodin at the time of our first date, but didn't want to tell him out of fear that he would think I have an addiction to painkillers or something. I was worried that he would be upset, but he wasn't. WHEW!
"Why did you go out with me when you knew you were all messed up? Why not just stay home?" he said.
"Because I knew that if I didn't go out with you, you were the kind of guy who would never ask me out again. I had to say yes!" I explained.
"Oh. Well, that's true. I probably wouldn't have," he conceded.
"See?" I said.
Then I told him how difficult it was for me to get ready and focus on dinner conversation when I'm on Vicodin, and he just laughed. I explained to him why I took it that evening and that I don't do it all the time or anything. I also said that it should show him how much I wanted to go out with him -- I spent a good deal of the night feeling nauseous!
MJ apologized to me later and said that she felt awful for letting the cat out of the bag. But it ended up being no big deal, and now he teases me about it.
We went back to our dinner. The chocolate cake was fantastic. After dinner, we proceeded to get MJ good n drunk.
She only remembers bits and pieces of the evening. She doesn't remember how KT and I made fun of her drunken walking. She doesn't remember sulking and pretending to cry whenever someone didn't do what she wanted. She doesn't remember falling down a couple of times. She doesn't remember flashing most of the crowd at Local's as she climbed up onto the bar to receive her free birthday shot. She doesn't remember crashing into a table and breaking several empty glasses, causing us to get kicked out of Bar None.
Needless to say, we all had a really fun time and didn't get home until about 3am.
That's when I got called out again. (What was it? Pick on VB day??) CN and I were driving home when he asked me a very blunt question.
"Hey, when we were at Local's, and you were all touchy-feely on me, were you only doing that because your ex-boyfriend was there? Because if that's the case, it doesn't make me feel good." he said.
Shit. Ummm.....
You see, as soon as MJ said she wanted to go to Local's, I thought, "Uh-oh. That's where Repo goes all the time. He will probably be there." But I didn't want to protest, because it was MJ's birthday. So I said ok, knowing full well what would happen: If Repo was there, I would probably try to rub it in his face that I am in a very happy relationship now.
That's exactly what happened, and that's exactly what I did.* And now, I was being called out on it. Shit. I totally deserved to be called out. I was immature and selfish and behaved totally inappropriately.
So I told him that I was only human and that yes, that was part of it. I told him I pretty much knew what was going to happen once I got there. But since it was very crowded in there, it was that much easier to be physical on the dance floor. My intentions were only halfway bad.
I can't remember exactly what CN said, but it was along the lines of, "Don't do that again. It made me feel like shit." -- a message I heard loud and clear. Commence massive guilt trip. We agreed that maybe we shouldn't go to Local's anymore. Not only because of Repo, but also because CN started to get a panic attack while we were there -- he doesn't do well with crowds.
At this point, not only was I dealing with a massive guilt trip, but now I was worried that I am going to screw up this relationship with my stupid decisions. I am going to ruin everything, because I am a moron. Crap!
So I told him I was going to take a quick shower, get into my pjs and then come over. He said ok.
Twenty minutes later, we were snuggling and talking in his bed. That's when he told me that he's falling in love with me.
WHAT?
Yeah. With me, the immature girl who uses him to try and make an ex jealous, the girl who takes Vicodin recreationally. Is he crazy? I am obviously a shitty girlfriend!
I said, "Um, really?" -- I was so shocked, this was all I could say. I was practically speechless.
"Yeah. I just haven't felt like this about anyone in a really, really long time. I have very strong feelings for you, and I just wanted to tell you because I think it's good to do that," he said.
Aw.
"But.....Sweetie, we haven't been dating that long. That's kind of...soon. I mean, I am charming, and all...." I joked.
"Yeah, I know. But that's how I feel," he replied.
"I really care about you, too. I mean, I'm not there yet, but I'm definitely on my way....are you mad that I didn't say it back?" I asked, worried. (I don't believe in using the "L" word unless you mean it. And even though I am almost ready to say those three little words, I am not quite there yet.)
"Whoa, I didn't say I was in love with you, just that I feel like I am headed in that direction!" he said.
"Are you back-pedaling???" I giggled.
"No. But I do really really care about you," he said.
Aw. Alright, I'm not sharing the rest of the conversation, because it was entirely too schmoopy and sappy, and it involved me crying, so let's just not go there, ok? Ok. Let's just say that the last bit of it went like this:
CN: Are we just going to sit here complimenting each other all night, or are we going to go to sleep?
Me: Oh. *giggle* Yeah, I guess we should go to bed now. I'm pretty tired, and it's probably like 4am.
*smooch!*
*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....*
So what do you think? Was CN back-pedaling? Do you think he's in The Big L with me? Or is it too soon? Was I out of line at Local's? Wouldn't it have been weirder if I had ignored CN when we were at Local's? Will I ever grow up and stop screwing things up with CN? What should I do to remedy this situation/loss of trust? And finally, am I indeed going to Hell? Or do I just deserve to get smacked?
Your thoughts and comments are appreciated, as always, dear readers.
* I would like to add that Repo looked like shit. He has gained so much weight since we broke up and he looked miserable! He looked like he was really down/depressed. He definitely saw me with my new boyfriend, and I could tell it bothered him. Plus, thanks to the grapevine that is Columbia, I'm pretty sure he and his girlfriend broke up. And I can't say that I didn't get a teeny bit of satisfaction from that.....ugh, I am terrible, I know. I'm going to hell. I am slowly learning to accept this fact.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Pro/Con
Aargh. I have a tough decision to make. Do you remember J, my best friend from high school?
Background: I visited with her when I went to Indianapolis last December. We are still friends, but not nearly as close as we used to be. She is one of my oldest friends. And she is getting married this weekend in Jamaica. After doing some heavy thinking, I decided not to go to the wedding. The rooms were VERY expensive ($500/night!!) and her friends are all pretty snobby. Those were the two main reasons I didn't go.
Well, because most of her friends couldn't afford to go to the actual wedding, she and the new hubby are having a big, phat (oh yes, I am using the "p" version of that word) party next month in Indianapolis to celebrate the wedding a 2nd time stateside. It will be held in a mansion, actually. J's new hubby knows the guy who owns it and so they get to use it for free. The house is WICKED cool and HUGE -- large pool, hot tub, dance floor, a room just for the bar, you name it. There will be a ton of people there, and it will be very glamorous. A lot of J's snooty friends are rich models, so if you can imagine an Indianapolis version of a Playboy mansion party, that's sort of how it's going to be. Very glamorous. Very posh.
So now, I am trying to decide if I want to go to it. Here is my list of PROs:
--It will probably be a super cool party.
--Travel! I love traveling anywhere, anytime.
--Frequent flier miles.
--I can visit other old friends while I'm there in town for the weekend.
--CN said he'd be my date.
--I didn't go to the wedding, and I feel kinda bad, so this would be a good way to make it up to her.
--I have been friends with her forever. It's her friggin wedding. I would be bummed if she didn't go to mine.
--I already have something to wear.
....and CONs:
--I am broke at the moment. It will be about $300 for the flight and at least $200 for the hotel. It's money I don't have to spend. Plus, if CN goes with me, I will feel obligated to pay for his ticket, too. Since we would be in a hotel, we would need to rent a car, probably....that's more money. And of course, I have to buy a wedding present. (Which I'm doing anyway, regardless of whether or not I go to the party. But that is also part of the expenses.)
-- Remember, her friends are snooty. And they are models. So this party probably wouldn't do much for the old ego. And although J and her hubby love me, I know they won't have time to make sure I'm having a good time.
--We aren't as close as we used to be, like I said. I doubt seriously that it would break her heart if I don't go. She will be bummed, but she will get over it pretty quickly.
If money were no object, I would go, no questions asked. So I guess the money is the main thing holding me back. I can put up with snooties for one night.
What would you do??? Help! I need opinions!!!
Background: I visited with her when I went to Indianapolis last December. We are still friends, but not nearly as close as we used to be. She is one of my oldest friends. And she is getting married this weekend in Jamaica. After doing some heavy thinking, I decided not to go to the wedding. The rooms were VERY expensive ($500/night!!) and her friends are all pretty snobby. Those were the two main reasons I didn't go.
Well, because most of her friends couldn't afford to go to the actual wedding, she and the new hubby are having a big, phat (oh yes, I am using the "p" version of that word) party next month in Indianapolis to celebrate the wedding a 2nd time stateside. It will be held in a mansion, actually. J's new hubby knows the guy who owns it and so they get to use it for free. The house is WICKED cool and HUGE -- large pool, hot tub, dance floor, a room just for the bar, you name it. There will be a ton of people there, and it will be very glamorous. A lot of J's snooty friends are rich models, so if you can imagine an Indianapolis version of a Playboy mansion party, that's sort of how it's going to be. Very glamorous. Very posh.
So now, I am trying to decide if I want to go to it. Here is my list of PROs:
--It will probably be a super cool party.
--Travel! I love traveling anywhere, anytime.
--Frequent flier miles.
--I can visit other old friends while I'm there in town for the weekend.
--CN said he'd be my date.
--I didn't go to the wedding, and I feel kinda bad, so this would be a good way to make it up to her.
--I have been friends with her forever. It's her friggin wedding. I would be bummed if she didn't go to mine.
--I already have something to wear.
....and CONs:
--I am broke at the moment. It will be about $300 for the flight and at least $200 for the hotel. It's money I don't have to spend. Plus, if CN goes with me, I will feel obligated to pay for his ticket, too. Since we would be in a hotel, we would need to rent a car, probably....that's more money. And of course, I have to buy a wedding present. (Which I'm doing anyway, regardless of whether or not I go to the party. But that is also part of the expenses.)
-- Remember, her friends are snooty. And they are models. So this party probably wouldn't do much for the old ego. And although J and her hubby love me, I know they won't have time to make sure I'm having a good time.
--We aren't as close as we used to be, like I said. I doubt seriously that it would break her heart if I don't go. She will be bummed, but she will get over it pretty quickly.
If money were no object, I would go, no questions asked. So I guess the money is the main thing holding me back. I can put up with snooties for one night.
What would you do??? Help! I need opinions!!!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Drama: A Sketchy Act
Last week, Butter, E and I were informed by Mrs. Chemical that she would be celebrating her birthday on Friday night. It was a girls-only event. Much to our bewilderment, we were invited. After a brief pow-wow via email, we decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and attend.
So we show up at Liberty's (a very popular bar/restaurant) to discover that we are the party, because she apparently doesn't have any other girlfriends willing to help her celebrate her birthday. She seems ecstatic to be having a girls' night, and we were all having a really good time. "Hmmm, maybe I was wrong about her," I thought.
Over dinner, she tells us the story of her and her husband. They have been together since high school, except for one year in college when they broke up. During this break, she briefly dated her best guy pal. She just found out inadvertently that he thinks she married the wrong man. She also asked us if we thought she was out of line for not liking the fact that he has just started dating a friend of hers. We had a lively debate about dating friends' exes, but that was it. Or so it seemed.
After dinner, we decided to go dancing. By this point, we are all being total goofballs and laughing hysterically and taking funny pictures. Mrs. Chemical runs into a coworker of hers (I will call her M) and she joins our group. The fun evening began to crumble when B called E to see when she wanted him to pick her up. For whatever reason, she took this as B keeping tabs on her and trying to give her a curfew, which rubbed her the wrong way. Matters were not helped when B told her to stop "acting like a bitch."
Needless to say, E was not in the best of moods for the rest of the night, and B spent the night alone. (They are fine now, but he was in the doghouse for most of the weekend!)
Soon after that phone call, Butter runs into a guy pal of hers. It's his bachelor party, so he and his friends are all having a really fun time, and they ask us to join them in VIP.
We are all enjoying ourselves until some random girl who happened to be in VIP started dancing with the groom-to-be. This is when the evening's drama really got started, and I began to get annoyed.
Butter and E immediately go over to this poor girl to inform her that he's engaged and about to get married. She blows them off and pooh-poohs their concerns, which only gets them more motivated to lecture her and scorn her behavior. Meanwhile, Mrs. Chemical and I are watching all of this, wondering what in the hell is going on. (We couldn't hear them, but we had a general idea of what was going on by the looks on everyone's faces.) The next thing we know, we are being kicked out of VIP by the bachelor party! I guess we were being cock blockers...
By this point in the evening, it was about 1:30am and everyone is fairly intoxicated. E is in one helluva mood, compounded by the fact that Butter ending up mooching off of her beer tab -- again. Butter is still going on and on about how wrong it was for that girl to grind on her "best guy friend". I point out that Butter has never so much as mentioned this guy to us before and that it's really none of our business. "For all we know," I said, "his fiance could have told him it is ok for him to do that tonight. I mean, at least he's not at a strip club, you know? If he's going to cheat on her, nothing we do or say can stop him. So what's the point of playing Relationship Police?"
For some reason, perhaps it was the alcohol in their systems, my opinion was deemed neither ethical nor logical. I had to listen to a chorus of "So if it was your fiance, you're saying you'd be ok with that?" I stated that I like to pick my battles and that I would never marry a guy who would do something that would upset me. I would never be with a guy I couldn't trust. They just shook their heads at me and continued ranting about the nerve of the girl in the dance club.
At this point in the evening, I am just glad that we are all going home. I was starting to see why Mrs. Chemical didn't have a lot of girlfriends.
So we are walking back to Mrs. Chemical's car. She is going to drop us off at my car so we can go home. Suddenly, she turns around and says to us, "Ok, you guys, I'm going to drop you off at Virginia's car and then go meet up with someone. If anyone asks, tell them I'm hanging out with M, ok?"
I am dumbfounded. Did she just ask us to lie for her??
E, the smart little thing, plays dumb and asks her if we can go too.
"No, you can't. I'm sorry. I know what you're thinking, and that's not it. I promise that it's not. Just tell whoever asks that I'm with M, ok?"
E and I looked at each other.
I said nothing. I have a strict policy that I do not lie for other people. Heck, I don't even lie for myself, because I'm a terrible liar. E and Butter agreed to it, and we continued on down the street. Mrs. Chemical drops us off, and we get into my car.
"Ohmygod, she's cheating on her husband!!" Butter mumbles as we get into my car.
"Let's follow her!" I shout.
We saw her turn down an alley near a lesbian bar before driving away. After being initially shocked at the thought of her lying about going to a lesbian bar, I decided to calm down and assume nothing. There were other bars near there, too. Maybe she was just looking for parking. I mean, she probably knew we would follow her. There was enough drama going around already without me adding fuel to the fire. E and Butter were not familiar with that alleyway -- they didn't know about the lesbian bar. So I stayed mum about my observation.
I stated that we really could not follow her, so we continued on our way. For the first half of the ride home, we tried to figure out what on Earth just happened. I noted that she had been texting with someone all evening. E was amazed that she would ask friends of her husband to lie for her. I was shocked at how trusting she was, considering we hardly knew her. Butter was convinced she was cheating on her husband with the guy she had mentioned at dinner.
I still can't figure it out, though. She didn't have to tell us anything. I mean, just drop us off and go about your merry way. Why bring us into it? It kind of made me angry to be involved in the whole thing. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, but I just couldn't. None of it added up. Why would you blackmail yourself? Why would you unnecessarily bring a third party in on your big secret? What could you possibly have to hide from your husband?
And no, it's not drugs. She's a nurse and would lose her license/job if she tested positive. So we are pretty sure that's not it. Without any solid answers, our conversation went back to the other drama of the evening: E's boyfriend troubles.
E rehashed it with the two of us, and we offered our opinions. I don't think B was trying to give her a curfew. I think it must have just come out wrong. But I also think he was way out of line telling her she was acting like a bitch. You don't use the "b" word, you know? Anyway, eventually Butter started complaining about Country Boy. Her complaints about him are always a bunch of crap, and this time was no different: she felt he didn't know her on a "deeper" level. Well, whose fault is that??? Ugh. I'd had it. Both of these guys worship their girlfriends. Country Boy drives an hour and a half just to SEE Butter. B and E have already gone engagement ring shopping, for Pete's sake. And here they are, nitpicking them to death over a bunch of bullshit! Aaaargh.
"Well," I said to them as they were bitching about their boyfriends simultaneously, "have you talked to him about it?"
"YESS!!!" they replied in chorus.
"So, if you've talked to them, and they aren't changing, then DUMP THEM!! I mean, this is RIDICULOUS!!! They are crazy about you guys, and you're bitching about stupid stuff! Just like that poor girl at the bar! She didn't know! Stop being Relationship Police! Pick your freaking battles!!!" I shouted.
The car got quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief. FINALLY, they shut the hell up!!! We drove the rest of the way in silence. Sometimes, losing your temper can pay off.
We got home and sat outside and talked some more. Butter bummed cigarettes from E. Even I was beginning to get annoyed by her mooching at this point. I was about to just say goodnight and hit the hay when Country Boy came over to pick Butter up. He told E that B was upset for what he said and that he apologized. He also told E that she misunderstood B's phone call. I could tell E was not quite as angry as she had been earlier. Whew.
We began to give Country Boy a re-cap of our evening when Mr. Chemical called him. Here is how the conversation went between the two men:
Mr. C: Hey, are you over at Virginia's house with the girls?
CB: Yeah, but Mrs. C isn't here.
Mr. C: Well, where is she?
CB: [to us] Hey, where's Mrs. C?
Butter & E: She stayed out with M.
CB: [to Mr. C] They said she stayed out with M.
Mr. C: Oh, man! That means she'll be out all night!
CB got off the phone and repeated that to us. E and I looked at each other. I felt a twinge of guilt, followed by resentment towards Mrs. Chemical. And I haven't been able to get that line out my head since: Oh man! That means she'll be out all night!
Grrrr. Thank goodness the rest of my weekend was 100% drama-free. I'll give you the CN update tomorrow. Until then, I need some advice and opinions about all of this! Was I out of line with what I said to Butter and E? And is it ok for a random girl to dance with a guy who's about to get married? I feel pretty strongly about my opinions, but maybe I'm wrong.
But most importantly, what should I do about Mrs. Chemical's secret?? At this point, I don't think I want to hang out with her anymore. I don't like meddling in other people's business, but if she's cheating on her husband, that's kind of a big deal, right? What else could she possibly be doing that she would need to lie about?
So we show up at Liberty's (a very popular bar/restaurant) to discover that we are the party, because she apparently doesn't have any other girlfriends willing to help her celebrate her birthday. She seems ecstatic to be having a girls' night, and we were all having a really good time. "Hmmm, maybe I was wrong about her," I thought.
Over dinner, she tells us the story of her and her husband. They have been together since high school, except for one year in college when they broke up. During this break, she briefly dated her best guy pal. She just found out inadvertently that he thinks she married the wrong man. She also asked us if we thought she was out of line for not liking the fact that he has just started dating a friend of hers. We had a lively debate about dating friends' exes, but that was it. Or so it seemed.
After dinner, we decided to go dancing. By this point, we are all being total goofballs and laughing hysterically and taking funny pictures. Mrs. Chemical runs into a coworker of hers (I will call her M) and she joins our group. The fun evening began to crumble when B called E to see when she wanted him to pick her up. For whatever reason, she took this as B keeping tabs on her and trying to give her a curfew, which rubbed her the wrong way. Matters were not helped when B told her to stop "acting like a bitch."
Needless to say, E was not in the best of moods for the rest of the night, and B spent the night alone. (They are fine now, but he was in the doghouse for most of the weekend!)
Soon after that phone call, Butter runs into a guy pal of hers. It's his bachelor party, so he and his friends are all having a really fun time, and they ask us to join them in VIP.
We are all enjoying ourselves until some random girl who happened to be in VIP started dancing with the groom-to-be. This is when the evening's drama really got started, and I began to get annoyed.
Butter and E immediately go over to this poor girl to inform her that he's engaged and about to get married. She blows them off and pooh-poohs their concerns, which only gets them more motivated to lecture her and scorn her behavior. Meanwhile, Mrs. Chemical and I are watching all of this, wondering what in the hell is going on. (We couldn't hear them, but we had a general idea of what was going on by the looks on everyone's faces.) The next thing we know, we are being kicked out of VIP by the bachelor party! I guess we were being cock blockers...
By this point in the evening, it was about 1:30am and everyone is fairly intoxicated. E is in one helluva mood, compounded by the fact that Butter ending up mooching off of her beer tab -- again. Butter is still going on and on about how wrong it was for that girl to grind on her "best guy friend". I point out that Butter has never so much as mentioned this guy to us before and that it's really none of our business. "For all we know," I said, "his fiance could have told him it is ok for him to do that tonight. I mean, at least he's not at a strip club, you know? If he's going to cheat on her, nothing we do or say can stop him. So what's the point of playing Relationship Police?"
For some reason, perhaps it was the alcohol in their systems, my opinion was deemed neither ethical nor logical. I had to listen to a chorus of "So if it was your fiance, you're saying you'd be ok with that?" I stated that I like to pick my battles and that I would never marry a guy who would do something that would upset me. I would never be with a guy I couldn't trust. They just shook their heads at me and continued ranting about the nerve of the girl in the dance club.
At this point in the evening, I am just glad that we are all going home. I was starting to see why Mrs. Chemical didn't have a lot of girlfriends.
So we are walking back to Mrs. Chemical's car. She is going to drop us off at my car so we can go home. Suddenly, she turns around and says to us, "Ok, you guys, I'm going to drop you off at Virginia's car and then go meet up with someone. If anyone asks, tell them I'm hanging out with M, ok?"
I am dumbfounded. Did she just ask us to lie for her??
E, the smart little thing, plays dumb and asks her if we can go too.
"No, you can't. I'm sorry. I know what you're thinking, and that's not it. I promise that it's not. Just tell whoever asks that I'm with M, ok?"
E and I looked at each other.
I said nothing. I have a strict policy that I do not lie for other people. Heck, I don't even lie for myself, because I'm a terrible liar. E and Butter agreed to it, and we continued on down the street. Mrs. Chemical drops us off, and we get into my car.
"Ohmygod, she's cheating on her husband!!" Butter mumbles as we get into my car.
"Let's follow her!" I shout.
We saw her turn down an alley near a lesbian bar before driving away. After being initially shocked at the thought of her lying about going to a lesbian bar, I decided to calm down and assume nothing. There were other bars near there, too. Maybe she was just looking for parking. I mean, she probably knew we would follow her. There was enough drama going around already without me adding fuel to the fire. E and Butter were not familiar with that alleyway -- they didn't know about the lesbian bar. So I stayed mum about my observation.
I stated that we really could not follow her, so we continued on our way. For the first half of the ride home, we tried to figure out what on Earth just happened. I noted that she had been texting with someone all evening. E was amazed that she would ask friends of her husband to lie for her. I was shocked at how trusting she was, considering we hardly knew her. Butter was convinced she was cheating on her husband with the guy she had mentioned at dinner.
I still can't figure it out, though. She didn't have to tell us anything. I mean, just drop us off and go about your merry way. Why bring us into it? It kind of made me angry to be involved in the whole thing. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, but I just couldn't. None of it added up. Why would you blackmail yourself? Why would you unnecessarily bring a third party in on your big secret? What could you possibly have to hide from your husband?
And no, it's not drugs. She's a nurse and would lose her license/job if she tested positive. So we are pretty sure that's not it. Without any solid answers, our conversation went back to the other drama of the evening: E's boyfriend troubles.
E rehashed it with the two of us, and we offered our opinions. I don't think B was trying to give her a curfew. I think it must have just come out wrong. But I also think he was way out of line telling her she was acting like a bitch. You don't use the "b" word, you know? Anyway, eventually Butter started complaining about Country Boy. Her complaints about him are always a bunch of crap, and this time was no different: she felt he didn't know her on a "deeper" level. Well, whose fault is that??? Ugh. I'd had it. Both of these guys worship their girlfriends. Country Boy drives an hour and a half just to SEE Butter. B and E have already gone engagement ring shopping, for Pete's sake. And here they are, nitpicking them to death over a bunch of bullshit! Aaaargh.
"Well," I said to them as they were bitching about their boyfriends simultaneously, "have you talked to him about it?"
"YESS!!!" they replied in chorus.
"So, if you've talked to them, and they aren't changing, then DUMP THEM!! I mean, this is RIDICULOUS!!! They are crazy about you guys, and you're bitching about stupid stuff! Just like that poor girl at the bar! She didn't know! Stop being Relationship Police! Pick your freaking battles!!!" I shouted.
The car got quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief. FINALLY, they shut the hell up!!! We drove the rest of the way in silence. Sometimes, losing your temper can pay off.
We got home and sat outside and talked some more. Butter bummed cigarettes from E. Even I was beginning to get annoyed by her mooching at this point. I was about to just say goodnight and hit the hay when Country Boy came over to pick Butter up. He told E that B was upset for what he said and that he apologized. He also told E that she misunderstood B's phone call. I could tell E was not quite as angry as she had been earlier. Whew.
We began to give Country Boy a re-cap of our evening when Mr. Chemical called him. Here is how the conversation went between the two men:
Mr. C: Hey, are you over at Virginia's house with the girls?
CB: Yeah, but Mrs. C isn't here.
Mr. C: Well, where is she?
CB: [to us] Hey, where's Mrs. C?
Butter & E: She stayed out with M.
CB: [to Mr. C] They said she stayed out with M.
Mr. C: Oh, man! That means she'll be out all night!
CB got off the phone and repeated that to us. E and I looked at each other. I felt a twinge of guilt, followed by resentment towards Mrs. Chemical. And I haven't been able to get that line out my head since: Oh man! That means she'll be out all night!
Grrrr. Thank goodness the rest of my weekend was 100% drama-free. I'll give you the CN update tomorrow. Until then, I need some advice and opinions about all of this! Was I out of line with what I said to Butter and E? And is it ok for a random girl to dance with a guy who's about to get married? I feel pretty strongly about my opinions, but maybe I'm wrong.
But most importantly, what should I do about Mrs. Chemical's secret?? At this point, I don't think I want to hang out with her anymore. I don't like meddling in other people's business, but if she's cheating on her husband, that's kind of a big deal, right? What else could she possibly be doing that she would need to lie about?
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