New Place and That's Not Chicken

Hello, Everyone! Sorry I've been away so long. I have moved (yes, again! Move #17 of my life!) and been busy planning for Hong Kong. Because why not move AND take a 2 week international trip right afterwards? That's not stressful at all.

I also had to order and set up my Wi Fire, this super cool gizmo that magnifies wifi signals. Since I moved right next door to one of the buildings associated with the school where I work, I needed something to help me pick up the wifi signal from next door. It was too weak to pick up with my built in wifi thingie on my laptop, so I did some research and found out about this Wi Fire thing. They sell it on Amazon for $50, and voila! Free internet, courtesy of the wifi network next door! Woo hoo!

So I have moved out of the townhouse I shared with the Ex-F. It was a big relief -- I had a lot of bad memories there, and the HOA was driving me nuts with their controlling ways. Did I tell you they wouldn't let me have a yard sale? Yeah. WTF. They said it would "inconvenience my neighbors". Whatever. I just sold everything on Craigslist. They can bite me. Since I was moving from a 3 bedroom, 1250 sq ft place into a one bedroom, 800 sq ft place, I had to do a LOT of downsizing! I ended up making almost $300. Sweet.

Now, I am back downtown, living in an old building, just like I wanted. It was built a little after the turn of the century, and I really like the details. I'm actually right across the street from work, which is pretty cool. I can take naps on my lunch break! My coworker Lunch Buddy (her nickname, since we eat lunch together every day) and I watch tv at my house while we eat our turkey sandwiches. It's pretty sweet.

I have to say, I am pretty stoked about my new place, even though I am not done unpacking or setting it up. I forgot how long it takes to cram all your stuff into a smaller place! Not only do I have a sweet location, but my building was redone very nicely, so the kitchen is great and the apartment is not grungy or weird. It even has a normal floor plan, and gorgeous hardwood floors. And lots of storage -- a rarity in downtown Savannah! And like I said, I now get free internet! I am never moving again, as long as I live in Savannah, anyway. The kitchen even has a garbage disposal and a dishwasher. I have a clawfoot tub in my bathroom which is original to the building, so it's about 80-90 years old. I even have a spot for my washer and dryer, so I have on-site laundry facilities -- another rare thing in downtown Savannah. And would you believe this place is almost $100 cheaper than my old place? So worth it. Several of my coworkers have confessed to apartment envy.

I forgot to mention one super cool thing -- according to my landlord, Shoeless Joe Jackson used to live in this building after he got out of the Major Leagues. She doesn't know which apartment, though. Cool, huh? Here are some pics.

This is the outside of my building. I'm on the bottom left. (Yay, no more stairs!)


A shot of my bedroom:


The super cool fireplace in my bedroom:


My kitchen (you can't see the fridge on the left or the sinks on the right, so just use your imagination.)


Another shot of the living room:


I have some other pics, too, but are you really interested in seeing my closets? Didn't think so. The Czarina wants me to send more pics when I am all set up, so I'll share those when I take them.

I leave for Hong Kong on Saturday for 2 weeks. I am sooooo not ready and have a to-do list that is making me panic a little. I do have the major things done -- new passport and all my shots (dude, I had to get like, 7 different shots! Whoa!) . But now I just have to do laundry, run a bunch of errands, pack....ugh. I am a little stressed. I have Friday off, which helps, and my flight doesn't leave until noon on Saturday, so that also gives me a little time.

I won't get excited until I get on the plane. Then I will be super pumped! Even though this is a work trip, I am excited to experience a different country on someone else's dime. I wish they had put me in business or first class, considering my flight from Detroit to Hong Kong is 16 hours, but whatever. I'll survive. I'm actually more worried about eating while I am there. You see, I can't use chop sticks. I love egg rolls, but they will get old after a while. I am packing plastic forks, just in case.

After wondering what Chinese people eat for breakfast, I got a DVD about Cantonese food from Netflix the other day. Excited to learn more about the world of dumplings and stir-fry, I sat on my couch to watch. The narrator started off with something along the lines of how bouts of war and famine in China throughout time forced the people to consume all their food daily because they had to remain on the move and couldn't afford to bring food along (hence the emphasis on fresh ingredients). They also had to cook their food quickly to save time (hence the invention of stir-fry) and they also had no money so they had to eat cheaply (hence all the rice).

Very nice. Making sense so far, I thought.

Next, the narrator explained that the Cantonese people sometimes had to just eat what was available to them, due to the constant upheavals which come along with war and famine. Then the narrator said something about how there's a saying about the Cantonese -- they will eat anything that flies, swims or crawls.

Oh, haha, like they would eat my dog, how stereotypical, I thought.

"Actually," the narrator continued, "In the Cantonese language, there is no word for 'inedible.'"

Um, what?

Then the narrator said, "Chapter One: Chicken."

Oh no....

And what followed after was a 20 minute expose of how they love chicken and eat every part (and I mean every part) of a chicken. WARNING: Do not eat while reading this next part.

So they eat the obvious chicken parts. But the thing that is weird is that they seem to always cook the chickens whole (well, minus the feathers, which seems to be the only part of the chicken they don't eat). So there were all these full bodied chickens being boiled in pots. Whatever, they probably buy them from farmers and chop the heads off later, right? Wrong. Sometimes, you are served a whole chicken on your plate. As in, it's looking at you. Other times, they cut the head off, but only because they are making another dish with the head parts. Like deep-fried chicken beaks, for example. Ew. I have heard of people in the South eating chicken feet, but chicken beaks?? Sounds...crunchy. I would also like to add that they make a "specialty" dish out of the chicken part which I will simply refer to as "sphincter". Yes. They deep fry those, too, and you dip them in sauce. Are you gagging yet? Because I was. It totally ruined the ice cream I was eating while watching the DVD.

So they get to the end of the chicken section, and I'm like, "WHEW! Glad that's over!" But then the narrator comes back on and says, "Chapter 2: Snake." Ooooohhh noooooooo.......

I won't even tell you what they do with snake. All I can say is thank the Lord they are shaped the way they are so I can spot them in any dishes offered to me.

I stopped the DVD after the snake chapter. Chapter 3 was "Sheep", I think. No, thanks. I'm already a picky eater, and not the world's biggest Asian food fan, so this DVD was not helping. Perhaps this trip will be a good way to kick off my diet? I probably won't have any access to Ben and Jerry's which will be a start. However, I do know that KFC is on like donkey kong over there, so I can have fried chicken (breasts! Not beaks!) if I get the hankering. One of my coworkers made me promise to try at least one weird thing while I'm over there. I agreed, but only after she said it didn't have to be snake.

Well, guys, I don't know if I will have time to blog again before I leave, but I will blog when I get back. I'm not bringing my laptop with me, because my hotel charges $15/day for internet access. Which may be worth it, but the dealbreaker was that I found out that you can't get internet on planes once you're about 100 miles away from the US coastline. Well, not on Delta flights, anyway. If I could hop online as I cross the Pacific, I would probably bring it, but that is too much hassle. Sorry, guys. I'll be bringing a little notebook with me so I can write down all the interesting/funny/weird things I experience while over there. I'll provide a full report when I get back! Until then..........joi gin (goodbye)!

We're Moving! Again!

After what feels like looking at about one million houses and apartments, CN and I finally decided on where we are going to live.

We were almost going to sign a lease to live in an adorable house in this neighborhood called Ardsley Park. It's a really nice area just south of downtown, full of charming homes, mostly little bungalows from the 1920s-1940s. There are porch swings and hardwood floors and screen porches and sidewalks and little parks sprinkled throughout. Plus, it's nice and quiet and safe. Mostly young couples, with the occasional kid or two. And lots of dogs. *sigh* (If you ever watch that show, "Ruby", on the Style network, she lives in Ardsley Park. You could get a feel for the area if you see that show.) Anyway, Ardsley is a very desirable area, and it's a shame we aren't looking to buy, because we'd be there in a heartbeat.

So we were all ready to go for this 3BR, 2BA brick home in Ardsley. It had a really nice kitchen, lots of charm, a finished attic (where CN could have his office and his Man Room) and a big backyard for Sammy. But we looked at Craigslist one more time.

We had been keeping our eyes on these brand new townhomes, over in an area called Thunderbolt. What a name, huh? We had gone to see them, but they were a little more than we wanted to spend for the location (it's not a bad location, but there aren't any parks or places to take walks, and there's a lot more traffic on the main road in and out of there.) So these townhomes were originally for sale, but thanks to our awesome economy, they aren't selling, so the builder is now renting them out. At first, they wanted $1200/mo, which was basically what we would be spending in Ardsley. But they dropped the rent to $1000/mo! How do we say no??? We would be stupid to live anywhere else.

These townhomes are in a quiet little cul-de-sac near Bonaventure Cemetery. If you remember Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, this is the cemetery where the Bird Girl statue is. So it's pretty quiet! LOL Each townhouse has a ground-level garage, which is huge. Then the next floor up has a living room, half bath, eat-in kitchen and back porch (which can be screened in at our request -- I am so excited!). Then the top floor has 3 bedrooms and 2 full baths, along with the washer and dryer. This means I get my own bathroom and closet. Be still my beating heart. And the kitchen??? I can totally cook in it. I am so excited. And since it's new, it is well-insulated, unlike the box of swiss cheese we live in right now. Our electricity bill this month? $120. This is for an 800 sq ft apartment. Which is absurd.

Ok, I have to go beat CN into the bathroom to get ready for work, so I gotta go. Here's some pics. I'll try and post more often, y'all. I know I stink.

My New Home, Part 3

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? How about bad.

You know how when you leave a job, you usually get to cash in your unused vacation time? Ok, well I just went to HR today to do the whole exit procedure stuff and I found out that instead of getting to cash out what I thought would end up being 19 days of vacation time, I will only get to cash out 6. Without going into all the details as to why, I will just say that I do not accrue vacation time at this job. I have a designated amount that I have to use up by the end of the year (our year runs from July - June). So I really shot myself in the foot by showing up to work all these past months. In fact, if I had used up all my vacation time by now, I would still be able to cash in on those 6 particular days.

So to say I'm disappointed is putting it lightly. I am kind of pissed. Plus, I could have really used the money from cashing in 19 days. But at least I get 6. Oh well.

But the good news is, since I can't cash it in (ie, take it with me, so to speak), I might as well use up as much of it as I can before I go. So I'm taking off most of the rest of the week. Which works out pretty well, considering I have umpteen things to do before I move on Saturday.

Alright. Enough of that. I wanted to share pics of the interior of my new place w/y'all. I created a virtual floorplan on floorplanner.com (free!) so you can see the layout of my place.

I went ahead and put in some virtual furniture, too, just to make it more realistic. Ok, so now that you have a feel for what it looks like, let me show you the photos. I'm showing you the pics in the order you'd see the rooms if you parked behind the house and enter thru the backdoor, which is the door I will be using for the most part. This first one is the dining and/or entryway. It will probably end up being CN's office. It's the first thing you see when you walk in the back door.
Next, to your right is the kitchen. I really like the cabinets -- each upper one has 4 shelves! I need that, since I have so much cooking stuff. The door you see is open -- that's where the pantry is. I heart pantries. Notice the lack of dishwasher. :(
If you are leaving the kitchen, this is what you see.
Going back through the entryway, you next enter my living room, modeled here by the lovely MJ. Check out that fireplace! I am in love with my fireplaces. Yay for architectural/historical detailing!!! :) Boo for this room only having one electrical outlet. :( Although as I pointed out, this makes TV placement a no-brainer. LOL! I will be putting my couch under the window, because the TV has to go in the opposite corner.
Next, you proceed to the bedroom. Gotta love those gorgeous floors and the big picture window. I think I will put my bed under it.
The other side of my room has a nice-sized closet, again modeled by the lovely MJ. As you can see, she's as excited about it as I am. And no, I am not prepared to share this closet with CN. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Still need to figure out where to put 60 pairs of shoes.....hmmmm....
The other corner has my bedroom fireplace. This is a close-up. Both of my fireplaces are original to the house--only the tile surround is new. But only the bedroom fireplace has the original mirror as well.

Alright, now if you were to come in through the front door instead of the back door, you would be entering my hallway. The doors on the right are as follows: bedroom, living room, and then straight ahead is my bathroom (you can see my sink and shower/tub combo -- the toilet is to the left, but you can't see it in this shot). The door on the left is the laundry area, of which I forgot to take a photo. So use your imagination.

Continuing down the hall, you will enter the bathroom, part of which is pictured here. Yay for linen closets!!!

And last but not least, here's a cool shot. If you were to stand on my front porch, facing the street, and look to your right, here's what you would see:

I love how all the porches line up like that. I think it is so cool and old-fashioned. The house closest is where the students live. I mentioned them in the last post.

Alright, I also dug up some photos I took when CN and I went to Savannah last fall. Better late than never, right? It's funny what you find when you decide to finally put all your pics onto your computer. :P
This is a really cool drain spout I saw in Savannah.
Savannah has buildings from just about every time period and architectural style.
It will take me months before I pick out my favorite house in town.
It was love at first sight when it came to the trees. Live oaks grow very large, and the branches are very gnarled and arching. Throw in some Spanish moss hanging from the trees like cobwebs, and it's basically impossible to shake the romantic, spooky and fairy-tale-like aura of the town.
This is The Olde Pink House. It was originally a home built in the late 1700s, but now it's a restaurant. It's haunted. Trivia fact: it was not meant to be pink. They had red brick and covered it with white stucco, but the brick bled through, turning the stucco pink. But the name stuck, so they kept it pink.

Seriously, I can't stop taking photos of these trees, y'all.
This building is called the Cotton Exchange. I don't think there's much exchanging going on these days. It's currently vacant. On the other side of this building is the Savannah River. Lots of bars, tourist traps and restaurants, too.
This is City Hall. One of the nicest-looking city halls I've seen in a while. The dome was only painted gold in the last few years. It's really pretty in the sunshine.
You may know that downtown Savannah has a series of squares placed periodically throughout the blocks and rows of old homes. I think there are 24 of them, and it's really nice to break up the streets with mini-parks. These last 2 are photos from Chippewa Square, where a big statue of General Oglethorpe stands. He founded Savannah in 1733. Trivia fact: he is facing South, because Savannah was founded by the English as a way to defend its borders from the Spanish, who were in nearby Florida at the time. So he is turned to face his enemy.

If you want to know more about Savannah, here's info about its history, Gen. Oglethorpe and the Squares. You can also watch Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, which gives you a good feel for the city today, in addition to being a really good movie.

My New Home

One more thing about ring info: so we were worried about getting the ring, which is currently in Belgium, over to the United States without paying major customs duties. Then my mom found out that her friend is vacationing in Europe in March. So my aunt is going to just meet up with her to give her the ring while she's on vacation. Problem solved! Yay!

Ok, on to other big news: my new place in Savannah. Last weekend, I went down to Savannah with CN to look at places. We stopped at a property management place to get keys so we could go check out some places.

"Ok, which properties do you want to go see?" the lady behind the desk asked.

"510 Price....203 E. Gwinnet..." I said, reading off their list of properties for rent.

As CN and I were figuring all of this out, a girl about my age walked in with her mom and her sister. They walked up to the desk and had the same conversation with the lady.

The girl recited the same addresses we did! We laughed about it, and then decided that hey -- we might as well carpool! So we all piled into CN's car (he has GPS, which came in very handy) and started looking at places. We had SO much fun! I learned that she is a newlywed whose hubby is going to be a student at the school where I'm going to be working. She's moving up from Orlando and is just a little bit younger than me. She and I really hit it off. She's totally adorable!

Most of the places were total dumps. I'm talking visibly slanted floors, back doors that literally do not close, washers/dryers in the middle of the kitchen, leaking ceilings, wobbly staircases, you name it. It began to be really funny and we all started just making fun of the places. Each one was worse than the last.

As we were finishing up looking at places, she said she had another appointment at 2pm to look at a place I hadn't heard about. I asked her if we could tag along, and she said sure. So after we split up for lunch, we met her at the 2pm appointment. The guy there showed us around here. While it was a lot nicer than anything else we'd seen that day, he could tell that none of us were blown away. They were a little cramped for my liking. And since they were new construction, I was a little let down. I really had my heart set on living in an old house.

So after showing us around, the guy said, "Ok, I was planning on trying to sell it as condos, but I'm not getting a lot of bites in this market. So would you like to see the house I bought and restored? I've decided to rent it out. It's not part of this organization. It's my own personal thing and it's a block from here."

"Sure!" we replied.

We walked down to a yellow house, built around the turn of the century. The bottom floor has a one-bedroom place for me and a 2 bedroom place for the other girl and her hubby. There's off-street parking and the rent was about $100 cheaper than other places on the same street. We are 4 blocks from Forsyth Park and about 2 blocks from the grocery store. I can still walk to work, too. Plus, it's JUST been re-done. No creepy bathroom or old appliances.

We walked in, I took one look at the gorgeous hardwood floors and the beautiful decorative fireplaces and the normal-sized kitchen (a rarity in downtown Savannah!) and shouted, "SOLD!"

The other girl took one look at the upstairs place and fell in love, too. So we are housemates! Isn't that so weird how we just randomly met like that??? And she is so cool!

What's even weirder is that this is not the first time this has happened to her! The last time she went apartment shopping, she met a girl in the rental office and they ended up being roommates and very good friends! They lived together for 6 years before she got married last year. The girl was even in her wedding! Very strange.

So we go back to the office to sign the leases with this guy, who is extremely nice. "Oh! I need to call and cancel my next appointment. I was going to go look at a house over on Lincoln street, but I guess I don't need to now," she said.

"Wait....1003 Lincoln St.?" I said.

"Are you the 4:30 appointment?" she asked.

"Are you the 4:00 one?" I asked.

We burst into giggles.

Anyway, here are photos of our house. I'm on the bottom, she's on the top. (Ooh, that sounds pervy! Tee hee!). I took photos of the inside, but they are on her camera, and I'm waiting for her to email them to me. This is all I have for now. The first one is the front of the house, the 2nd one is the back of it:
There's hooks on the ceiling of the front porch where we can hang a porch swing! Woo hoo!
And yes, he's going to landscape/pave this so it's not just dirt. Those 2 windows on the bottom floor are my kitchen.

Yay! We have been calling and messaging each other on facebook already. She likes to cook! And drink coffee! And she has a dog!

This is so awesome.

Or so I thought. Stay tuned....

Happy New Year!!

Ok, so I am blogging from CN's computer while he's busy watching the Falcons game. They are in the playoffs, and I can hear a lot of cursing coming from his living room. :)

When the commercials come on, he gets up to pee and give me a kiss. It's pretty cute. He just walked in here to ask me if I like his wiener or not. What a dork.

Anyway, just wanted to write a short blog post to update y'all on stuff. Since I get almost 3 weeks off from work during the holidays, it's hard for me to get to a computer. CN's letting me use his. Although I doubt he knows I'm blogging right now....

Thank you, everyone who commented on my last post. It was a very painful post to write, so I appreciate the sympathy and empathy. And I don't always feel like that about my mom, it's just that she and I go through phases. We are currently in one of those phases where I seriously cannot stand her. She's not a horrible person, we just bash heads sometimes. She does it all (mostly, I think, anyway) from love and out of worry for me. It's just the methods she chooses that irk me. I really have to start letting it roll off my back, because she's never going to change. So I have to just change the way I react to her. And THB, I didn't take down your 2nd comment, even though it was a repeat, because I read it twice. It was that good! So I think it deserves to be said twice!! But seriously, my readers are the best. All of your comments made me feel so much better. It was definitely an "I love blogging, because blog readers are the best!!!" moment. :)

Going home to visit The Czarina went very well this year. WHEW. I credit Fat Dog's new girlfriend with my mother's MUCH improved behavior. I think that is the key to surviving visits with her -- bring an outsider. It keeps her on good behavior. As an added bonus, I really like Fat Dog's girlfriend. She is teeny tiny and very nice. She's totally his type -- petite, athletic, brunette who doesn't wear a lot of makeup. They are really cute together.

I got KICK ASS presents this year!!! Best Buy (hell-O ipod!!!) gift card from CN and a Lowe's gift card from Fat Dog, plus a beautiful --

DAMMIT, CN!!! STOP CHASING SAMMY AND MAKING ALL THAT NOISE!!!!!

ok, sorry about that. I swear, I am dating a 12 year old.....

Where was I? Oh, yes, CN got my that gorgeous wallet I wanted. I also got some jewelry, DVDs, potpourri, a frog tape dispenser, JP gave me a French press for coffee (although I have no idea how to use it!) and MJ gave me some Christmas decorations (because I never buy any and she thinks this is horrible) and an herb garden. Sammy got a big container of gourmet dog cookies.

And The Czarina gave me a big, phat check made out to Capital One -- that was her present to me. Along with the jewelry and the tape dispenser. It's a pretty sweet present, because she knows how much I want to pay off my Visa. I gotta give the Mom some props on that one.

And for the last week, I have been cooking, cleaning, organizing and decorating. I love working on a college student's schedule. One of the best things about my job. My house is super clean and neatly organized, and I have finished a LOT of projects I've been putting off. Soon, I will start painting E's old bedroom and the bathroom and hang up some curtains. Unfortunately, that's just about all the decorating I will be able to do for a while, since I need to focus on the credit card debt.

I'm trying to decide if I want to get a part time job or not. I really should, for the extra money and debt-paying purposes, especially since I won't have a roommate anymore. But I am ULTRA motivated to lose some weight, a part time job would really impact my gym time. I have worked out 6 days in a row, and yesterday I ran for 33 minutes straight -- a feat I have not achieved since I was in college!! GO ME!!!

I'm not doing too badly at the dieting thing, either. Not perfect, but at least conscious and aware of what goes in my mouth. I am trying not to bring junk into the house, which helps a LOT.

Although my whole body is a little sore, I am in a great mood, sleeping like a rock and have noticed how much energy I have. I think my tummy's a little flatter, but it may just be my imagination. It feels great to be getting back in shape. I hope I can keep this up. So far, so good on my New Year's Resolution.

Everyone is doing great -- CN's dad is still hanging in there, MJ and JP are doing well. Except that one of MJ's dogs died. :( And CN is wonderful, as usual.

When I'm done with my decorating, I will take some pics of my house and share with you. I have done a lot since the last time I shared pics.

Sorry this post is kind of random! I'm in a hurry and have some stuff I want to do before CN and I head out to go bowling. I'll try and catch up on everyone's blogs as soon as I can.

Happy New Year!!!

Determined to Decorate

Before I get into this post, I have a sad update for y'all. When CN and I went to his parents' house for Thanksgiving, we found out that CN's mom was laid off from her job. She works for a company that supplies automobile parts to Ford, so it was not a big shocker to hear that her employer was cutting back.

As crappy as this is, it isn't as bad as it could be. She still has benefits and they will pay her half her salary for 11 months. Supplemented with unemployment benefits, they will be fine, for the most part. The good news is, they have no debt -- their house is paid off, their cars are paid off and (like CN) they have no credit cards. So financially, it's not like they're up shit's creek. She's going to take care of her hubs for a while, and look for a job later.

One of the things that is actually good about all of this is that now CN's mom can stay home all day to take care of her husband. Until now, she has been paying through the nose for a nurse to stay with him all day. And CN's dad obviously likes this a lot better. So in one way, they will save money because of this.

I tell ya, this economy is starting to hit home, and it's kinda scary. It just really sucks to hear something like this happen to a family that already has a lot on their plate. I wish there was something I could do for them.

Alright, on to something cheerier.

When E moved out, I realized that I am too old and set in my ways to deal with having a roommate again. I don't care how wonderful they are, it's not worth the money. I do NOT want a roommate ever again. The way I look at it, this might be the last year I get to live alone in my own house (knock on wood!), so I want to enjoy it.

A good way for me to move on from the whole E situation and really get to feeling like my house is my house and no one else's is to decorate her old bedroom and bath so they can be livable and usable for me. Right now, I'm not really using them. They are both empty, blank canvases -- they are exactly as they were the day I moved in. So I am really excited to do something with them. I'm going to make them pretty girly, since that kind of decorating won't fly when I have to start accommodating my tastes for CN. He's not much for anything with ruffles, you know. So this is my last chance to live it up and do things my way. EEK! I can't wait!

I'm going to turn the bedroom into an office/guest bedroom combo. So that means I will need to buy a day bed or sleeper sofa. Something to that effect. CN had the brilliant idea (he is full of brilliant ideas) to have the day bed/sleeper sofa also serve as a reading spot for me -- so I will put some books and a reading lamp in there, too. As for the office aspect of it, I already have a desk I can use, so I just need something where I can store my various files and projects and office supplies.

I was originally going to do a black & white color palette, because I really like how graphic and bold those colors can be. Plus, it's easy to find a ton of things to decorate with -- black & white photography, for example. Everything goes with black and white! It's also gender-neutral, which is good for a guest bedroom. But then I realized that a black & white room will not mesh well with the rest of my house, which is full of calm, soothing pastel colors. It's really important to me for my house to flow from one room to the next. Since the bedroom opens into my icy blue living room, I think the starkness of black and white will look weird. So I have scrapped this idea.

I want the bedroom to feel serene, so that house guests can relax and so that I can read or focus on my little projects I'm always fooling with. A pastel palette will accomplish this, and it won't clash with the rest of my house. Then, I remembered an article I had read in a magazine that had gorgeous colors in it: pale aqua, light lime, dusty blueberry, lots of white and a deep violet-blue. Perfect! It's so me. So calming and refreshing. I love it! Here's a link to the article so you can see what I'm talking about. This will look much better next to my icy blue living room.

I want the bathroom, which pretty much serves as my guest bathroom, since it's off the living room and attached to this empty bedroom, to be very dramatic and glamorous. I'm going to paint the walls this color. Only darker -- like a purply-navy. A very deep, rich jewel tone (it will flow with the bedroom, because the same color will be the accent in the bedroom). Here's a virtual room I painted online, which shows you kind of how it will look:



This isn't exactly the color, but it's pretty close. There aren't any windows in the bathroom, but since I don't really use it, it's not like I have to worry about good lighting anyway. I'm planning on keeping the trim, shower curtain and towels white, so that should be enough to prevent it from looking like a cave. I'm going to play it up with mirrored/silver things and a splash of bright, rosy pink. Kind of a bubblegum/watermelon pink.

If you think this sounds gross, just trust me. I can picture it perfectly in my head. It will end up being the only dramatic/richly colored room in my house. Something a little different. The rest of my house is fairly pastel and calming. At the same time, the colors will mesh well with the rest of my house.

There are only 2 things stopping me from creating my two beautiful rooms:

1. I don't really have any money right now. It might have to wait until after the holidays. Bummer, right?
2. I am notorious for never finishing projects. And few things look stupider than a half-decorated room. I really have to make myself finish something, for once. Or at least get it functional.

This should be fun! I haven't really done a lot of decorating on my own before, so I'm pretty stoked. And CN and MJ are also excited, because this means I'm finally off my genealogy kick!

Thirteen is the Loneliest Number

One of CN's cousins passed away yesterday. :( He was about my age. The autopsy results are still pending, but it looks like it was similar to what happened to Heath Ledger. I guess he had the flu and took a whole bunch of stuff. CN will leave tomorrow (Friday) morning for the funeral in Alabama (that's where his mother's family is from) and won't be back until Sunday. I haven't talked to CN about it a whole lot, because you know, sometimes people don't want to talk about stuff like that. But he did say he's bummed about it. So I made him some cookies to cheer him up.

Meanwhile, MJ's battening down the hatches in preparation for her mother's visit. So she will be tied up with that this weekend.

KT has moved to New York state, so she is gone now.

That leaves me on my own this weekend. So let's think of some fun/productive ways to spend the Weekend of Me.

Thirteen Things to Do Alone This Weekend

1. Clean my house! Ugh, it has been gravely neglected.

2. Organize papers, finances, recipes, photographs, etc.

3. Paint my coffee table (a pale, metallic blue color), which I have been meaning to do since JULY.

4. Hang my curtains (lightweight, sheer white cotton) -- another project left over from July's major house decorating binge with The Czarina. She cannot believe I haven't finished these projects, but I tell her that she is my muse and inspiration and I lose all passion when she is not near. *snort!* But seriously, she gets me all excited about decorating, but when she leaves, it's like the air is let out of a balloon. Or whatever. You know what I mean. She makes it sound fun.

5. Speaking of home decorating, CN has gotten me hooked on this home makeover show called Clean House. Have you seen it? It's kind of cheesy, but somehow, I am addicted. I love the hostess, Niecy! I just saw this one episode where they re-did this woman's bedroom. They painted the walls this color (only slightly more purple-y) and then everything else -- and I mean everything else -- was white. It looked amazing. I can't wait to watch more episodes this weekend!

6. That reminds me....I have almost 2 weeks' worth of stuff on my DVR to watch....

7. And a Netflix movie to watch. It's a horror movie...I think it's about a girl who is possessed by the devil...I can't remember. And no, it's not The Exorcist.

8. Sammy needs a bath, BIG time. And a thorough brushing of the teeth. His breath could stun an ox right now. I'm not kidding. He woke me out of a dead sleep the other day. It is truly heinous.

9. My backyard? Totally disgusting. Weeds, pine straw strewn everywhere... not to mention untold amounts of dog poop. I am currently in denial about the abysmal state of my back yard. I really should get to that this weekend at some point. Shoot....E has my gardening gloves....note to self........

10. There is an IU game on this weekend, too. (Like how I keep coming up with excuses to watch tv? LOL) I should kill two birds with one stone and watch it while I run on a treadmill at the gym. On an unrelated note, I kicked ASS at the gym on Monday -- 2.5 miles of running, sometimes getting as fast as 6.5 mph!!! Go me! Oh, and that was after my hour-long weight lifting class. I paid for it with a quarter-sized blister on each foot. Ouch!

11. Finish reading the books I checked out about The Bahamas!!! 34 days until the cruise...we got our tickets in the mail this week! Woo Hoo!!

12. My friend Super and I have been talking about having a doggy play date. She has a Jack Russell terrier. I should give her a call. She and I have never really hung out on our own before.

13. Go for coffee with Repo's (now) ex-girlfriend. Yup. You read that correctly...Is your jaw dropping? Because it should be. If you need the back story because you're lost or have fuzzy recollections about all the old drama, look at my post from 2/1/07.

Tee hee, aren't I mean for not divulging juicy details? Ha ha!

Thursday 13 (2nd post today)

Thirteen Signs I Have Pack Rat Tendencies

(On a totally unrelated note, wouldn't that make a great band name??? Pack Rat Tendencies!)

1. I have kept every issue of Real Simple magazine I've received since I started my subscription 2 years ago. Most of them have not even been read yet. But it is the most awesome magazine EVER so I don't care. I will read them one day. As soon as I'm done reading all my other magazines....Allure, Marie Claire, Better Homes & Gardens, Country Living, Cosmo....oh, and I used to have Glamour, but I stopped renewing it because....I didn't have time to read it. Obviously. Anyway, I'm pretty good about chucking all the magazines except Real Simple.

2. I have two shoeboxes devoted to sample-sized Clinique products (from those free gifts) and toiletries. When I travel, I have little samples of everything!

3. There is a gigantic pile of papers in the corner of my bedroom. In it are: monthly updates on my 401(k)s, the top part of all my paid bills, pay stubs, receipts that need to be shredded, bank statements, anything having to do with my house, any receipts I will need for taxes, and anything deemed important enough to file away. Somewhere in there is my sadly under-used passport. And probably a nest of small woodland creatures, by this point.

4. I have kept most of my college textbooks. The ones that were interesting to me, anyway. I haven't really used them since college, but....I love them. And the $3.99 bin at Books a Million? I will have armfuls by the time I reach the register. "After all, I AM a librarian," I tell myself.

5. I recently forced myself to clean out my makeup drawers. Yes, I said drawers. I had some makeup in there from high school. We're talking 1995, people. And even then, it was only my inner germ-o-phobe who talked me into it. Nevermind that I hadn't worn that eyeshadow since I took trigonometry.

6. I have banned myself from going into craft stores. Why? Because I have a plastic roller cart full of impulse buys: acrylic paints, stencils, scrapbooking stuff, a hot glue gun, something called Modge Podge, glitter, beaded trim, confetti, stickers and who knows what else. I have not touched any of it. But I want to.

7. Is it too small? Beat up? Out of style? No biggie. I will make room in my closet. (Although, I am getting better about this as I get older.) I have some bras that are so ill-fitting, I haven't worn them in years. But they were expensive, and dammit, I'm going to get my money's worth!

8. You know how much I love office supplies. Well, guess who owns approximately 25 Post-it notepads. And markers in every color. And fluorescent-colored notebook paper. And 3-ring notebooks, complete with dividers, purchased specifically because they match the fluorescent notebook paper. And 10 or so sets of little notecards for me to write thank-you notes. Index cards, paper clips, more than one stapler, Sharpies, highlighters....need I go on? Keep in mind that few, if any of these items are being used.

9. I have a drawer in my house devoted to memorabilia from every ex-boyfriend since college. I keep it for the sole reason that The Czarina told me to, because "one day you'll have a daughter and she will want to look at all that stuff!"

Number of times I have looked at my mother's box of old love letters from pre-Dad boyfriends: 0.

(I should chuck that stuff, huh? Actually, at this point, I am wanting to do a MAJOR expulsion of all unnecessary items in my home!!! Yeesh! On a good note, though, I am far, FAR better than my roommate, E. That girl needs to go to Clutterers Anonymous!)

10. My boyfriend makes fun of the absurd number of socks I own. For some reason, I always think I need more socks. So I buy them in bulk. And now my sock drawer won't close.

11. At any given time, I have in my kitchen:

no fewer than 5 boxes of brownie/cake mix.
At least 2 kinds of chips.
Several varieties of candy.
2 flavors of ice cream.
3 beverages.
2 kinds of cereal.
Something chocolate and baked.
2 boxes of Chicken Quesadilla Lean Pockets
2 types of shredded cheese
3 cans of beans
4 cans of soup
Probably 35 varieties of spices/herbs
10 types of sauce/condiments/marinades
(there's more, but you get my drift)

Shit, I think I just realized why I'm broke all the time! Time to clean out the cupboard!!

12. I have a back-up of everything for the bathroom: soap, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, everything. Except an extra toothbrush, which CN and I realized only when it was very late and he didn't feel like crossing the street to go brush his teeth because he was too tired.

"Do you realize you have thirteen rolls of toilet paper in your bathroom?" he said to me the other day. I had them piled everywhere in there.

"Yeah. I mean, it's not like it will go bad. Buying in bulk saves money. And they didn't have a 6-roll size in the kind I like. What?" I replied.

He just laughed and shook his head. I told him to shut up or else I would make him bring his own toilet paper from now on.

13. I have intangibles, too. There are my 20 or so Voices in my Head. My emotional baggage from past relationships. My innumerable guilt trips. The umpteen flaws in my body that I see when I am naked and in front of a mirror. My fears and hopes. All those things I wish I could say, but don't. I collect all of these, too. Just in case I need them one day.

Before & After

My backyard: before....



And after...




Everyone yell "Thanks, Czarina, for getting VB's yard to resemble usable land rather than a toxic urban rainforest!!" -- Ugh, seriously, it was bad, y'all. This was the best early Xmas present ever. My yard is pretty. Full of fire ants which bite the crap out of me, but pretty nonetheless. Thanks, Mom.

My hair: before...(and no, that is not me in the pic)



and after...(again, just to clarify, not me.)



Needless to say, it is taking some getting used to. My hair has never been one color before (and only this dark one other time) and I am not so sure about it. I also cut off more than I wish I had. But, oh well. It grows back. Before I die. Sometime.

For now, I am a bobbed brunette.

But I'm going right back to shoulder-length blonde ASAP!! I do not feel like myself!

In other news...

Thanks to the wonders of myspace (shut up, you know you're guilty of it, too), I have gotten some scoopage on Cute Neighbor. He'd been gone for about a week, so I just thought he was on vacay. But one week turned into almost 2, so I began to get curious. Cue the myspace stalking.

Ok, remember how his dad has cancer? Well, it turns out CN is not on vacation. He's been with his parents at some hospital somewhere out of town. His dad is getting tests/biopsies for the cancer that is spreading all in his body. (Ugh. Depressing AND stressful!) He stayed with his parents in a hotel room for about 2 weeks. I don't know about you, but I myself would have to assassinate The Czarina if forced to be within such close proximity to her for that amount of time. Aside from mentioning that he really wanted a beer and seemed to be bored and restless, he was taking it all in good stride.

What a great guy, huh? Loyal, patient, caring....*sigh*

He came back today.

I may or may not be tailgating for the USC game on Saturday.

I may or may not be inviting Cute Neighbor to come with...

...after all, the guy needs a beer and something to get his mind off of all of that. And I'd be more than happy to oblige.

Let's hope he doesn't find my new hair as hideous as I do.

Let's also hope that he lets me borrow his lawn mower. My backyard needs a trim!

An Interesting Development

I got home from work early yesterday, and was walking to my front door, when I was approached by my neighbor's son (NS). I love his mom. She is an older lady with a rascally dachshund. Anyway, NS is always over at her house, working on her yard. He wanted to see how I felt about our lawn service, because everyone on my street pays $35/month to have our front yards mowed, edged, etc.

Well, to be honest, the service sucks. So he and I were griping about that. We talked about how much we like the neighborhood otherwise. Then NS told me about his family (he's married with kids) and I told him about my job and my future plans and how I don't know if I'm going to live in Columbia forever, since I don't have much to keep me here. I said that if I ever moved, I'd probably rent out my house rather than sell it.

"No boyfriend?" he asked.

"Nope," I replied. "But if I had a guy who I could see myself staying with, I probably wouldn't be thinking about ever leaving." I explained.

"You know, if you were dating a guy like Hot Neighbor, you'd have a reason to stay," NS winked, gesturing towards HN's house. (HN was not home.)

"Um, he's got a girlfriend." I stated flatly.

"Oh, no he doesn't!" NS said.

"Well, she spends the night," I said, skeptically.

"Trust me, nothing is going on," said NS.

I didn't know if I believed him or not, but I was willing to hear what he had to say. That's when I realized I haven't seen Hoochie McSkankerton around much lately. I'd seen her maybe twice in the past month-- a big change from a few months ago, when she practically lived there. Maybe NS is right....

NS proceeds to give the the scoop on Hot Neighbor (not to be confused with Cute Neighbor, the source of so many Conversations with My Brain). Apparently, NS and Hot Neighbor have known each other for years and are friends. NS told me that Hot Neighbor has been talking about moving, too-- to a bigger house in another part of town. I already knew about, since HN and I had talked about it one day.

Well, according to NS, this is all Hoochie McSkankerton's idea. NS told me that she and Hot Neighbor went to high school together, but she is about 4 years older than Hot Neighbor (which puts her at about 35 or so). They started dating about 6 months ago after bumping into each other at a party. And at first, Hot Neighbor was head-over-heels for Hoochie, but eventually, she exposed herself as possessive, demanding, jealous and pushing for marriage ASAP.

"Whoa," I said.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't want to say anything to him, because it's not my place, but I just didn't think she was the kind of girl he should be dating," said NS. He continued on with the story.

So eventually, a light bulb went off in Hot Neighbor's head, and he realized she's pushy, so he has basically broken up with her. But according to NS, he's too nice and she's too possessive for them to just break it off cleanly. Supposedly, there isn't much going on between them physically, either. (I don't know if I buy that part....NS said Hot Neighbor is not like that and is very Christian, but....I just don't see it....) But they are not boyfriend/girlfriend, according to NS.

Then NS tells me he's going to put in a good word for me and try to get Hot Neighbor to ask me out. He shook my hand, said it was nice to meet me, and went back over to his mother's house, leaving me dumbfounded and standing in the middle of my yard.

Czarina-Land

"I can't wait to help you decorate! Your place is going to be so cute!" exclaimed The Czarina the night before driving down here.

"Ok, cool! Thanks, Mom!" I replied.

The Czarina, her best friend and Smurf (my little sister) all arrived in record time on the morning of the 4th. "Let's shop!" she said.

Boy, she wasn't kidding. The Czarina is quite the penny-pincher most of the time, but when she gets excited to shop, she goes crazy. And luckily, she and her best friend not only have fun decorating, but they are really good at it.

For 48 hours, we had a home decor binge-fest: Target, Wal-Mart, Linens n Things, Bed Bath & Beyond, Staples, TJ Maxx, Marshall's, Ross (like a TJ Maxx or a Marshall's), craft stores, fabric stores and even some online shopping. We shopped so much, that I think for the first time in my life, I am shopped-out. I have been sitting at home all day today, loving the fact that I do not have to drive anywhere. After shopping all day, we would come back to my house, order some take-out, unpack everything we bought and begin moving furniture around. I think that the entire time they were here, we had about 2 conversations which weren't about home decorating. We were obsessed. But it's ok. It worked out well.

My bedroom looks fantastic -- we added shams and a bedskirt on my bed, managed to fit in my white wicker chair and moved the tables around. Now, it is a cool combination of willow green and white. Very relaxing.

My living room looks fantastic, too -- we adjusted the original color scheme at the last second. We were going to go with chocolate, light blue and paprika.

Instead, it will be white, light blue, lemon yellow and a soft leaf green. I am awaiting some pillows with a paisley pattern encompassing all of these colors -- The Czarina is making them for me. If there is one thing in this world I love, it's a paisley pattern. My lame vertical blinds (which were ugly and made a lot of clattering noise) have been replaced by gauzy, white curtains, letting in a lot more light. We also got almost-white slipcovers (we tried everything, but were unable to find white ones) on my couches. It's amazing what 2 slipcovers can do. Even though they are an oatmeal kind of color, it still looks great. I finally bought the lamp I've been craving for eons and it looks fantastic on my glass table. Combined with the pale blue walls, my living room is "bright and floaty and beachy", according to The Czarina.

And yes, I will take pictures and share. Eventually. You should know by now I'm not a huge picture-taker.

While she was here, we also hired a landscaper to re-do the urban jungle that is my backyard. You know it's bad when the landscaper sees your backyard in its current state and laughs. *sigh* Anyway, he's going to put in some white crepe myrtles and red azalea bushes, and sod the rest of it. I can't wait. And he wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought he'd be. Then again, my yard is teeny tiny.

"This is your early birthday and Christmas present for the next 3 years," The Czarina said.

"Yes ma'am. Thank you. Don't worry, I'll change your diapers when you're old. Would you like me to rub your feet when we get home?" I replied.

We had a lot of fun and were so exhausted by the end of each day, meeting up with my friends for dinner or touring around town to see the sights was just out of the question. So hopefully, my friends aren't upset that they didn't get to meet The Czarina. *crickets chirping* I'm sure they would have done the same thing, right? I mean, let's let the woman shop!

She was in a really great mood, and we didn't get on each others' nerves like we usually do. It felt more like shopping with girlfriends than with my mom. I think it's because her best friend came with her, and she served really well as a referee. At one point, I was getting frustrated, because Czarina kept trying to get me to put fake plants in my house (if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it's fake plants). And since Czarina was the one buying most of what we got, I felt weird telling her how to spend her money. I mean, if someone's offering to pay to spruce up your house, you don't argue. You just say, "Yes, please!" -- right? Anyway. Somehow, my mom's best friend not only picked up on my total disgust at the idea of fake plants, she also managed to talk The Czarina out of it. WHEW.

"Next time, we'll come back for a social visit and meet your friends and go hit all the sights," Czarina and her best friend said.

"Hopefully, that will be a calendar year from now," I thought. (I am also Mommed-out)

Don't get me wrong. I love my mother. Very much. I mean, look how awesomely generous she is. It's just that she can be a little.....domineering. And at age 28, I'm getting a teensy bit tired of it. But I just try and take deep breaths and remember that it all comes from love. And yes, I am grateful that I like 90% of her decorating ideas. That saves us a LOT of irritation.

Now that she's gone, I am left to finish up a lot of her great ideas: I have about 4 pieces of furniture to paint, so they will look better in my house. But I'm going to hold off on these little projects until I get back from my New York City/Vermont trip.

3 days and counting! WOO HOO!!

P.S. Cute Neighbor update:

Just before I sat down to type this post, I was walking the dogs. Who approaches me? Cute Neighbor. Yeah. He walked over as I was heading back inside. He apologized for being MIA on Lasagna Night and then explained that on the same day, he had found out his dad has cancer and there isn't anything that can be done. So I'm thinking that's about as good as excuses get. I told him I was sorry to hear the news.

Ugh, poor guy. I can tell he's bummed out. "I didn't mean to come over here and bum you out," he said.

"It's ok, I sort of know how it is," I replied. Then I told him about WLF (my dad) and Gulgie (my baby brother) and how they died 8 months apart. We talked for a while about what it's like to lose family members and I told him about my NYC trip. He told me about playing the drums. Just casual conversation. I could tell he was mainly thinking about his dad, so we didn't talk long. It felt too weird to change the subject. He just left a few minutes ago, and said he's definitely in for the next lasagna night. Which I have suddenly scheduled for tomorrow.

Just kidding.

Back to the Drawing Board

Chaotic.

That is the word I would use to describe my life right now. Isn't that also the name of the Britney/K-Fed reality show? I think it is. Don't worry, I haven't shaved my head or anything. Not that I haven't thought about doing it, considering the high number of bad hair days I've been having lately.

It's been one thing after another, these past few weeks. I've got trips and parties and get-togethers and time off, all things which are making me super-busy. I need a vacation from my vacation! *sigh*

Add to that: work has been a little busier than usual, insomnia for two nights straight, medical issues and being broke.

I am so exhausted and have so many things floating around in my brain, this post will probably be choppy. I feel like I'm losing my mind, and after you read this post, I'm certain you will agree.

Where to begin? Hmmm. Let's start with catheters in my bladder. Who doesn't want to read about that? The good news is, it didn't hurt a bit. Seriously, it was no sweat. But I can tell it's one of those procedures (like, say, drawing blood) where, if the person doesn't know what they are doing, it would hurt like crazy. I lucked out.

The bad news is, there is still too much protein in my pee. So I am awaiting my referral to a urologist. Which means: $$$$$$ and probably more catheters. Oh the joy.

I just keep repeating to myself: I. Do. Not. Want. A. Kidney. Stone.

And since I don't want any cavities either, I went to the dentist yesterday. "Oh, I see we have to update your x-rays today!" said the hygienist. I thought, "Oh.....crap. $$$$$$$$$$$" And then, as she was cleaning, and lecturing me about how I am not brushing OR flossing enough/properly, I thought, "I am paying this woman to not only torture me, but to also give me a guilt trip second only to The Czarina's."

Then she hit below the belt: "So, Virginia..........do you smoke?"

Fuckfuckcrapitycrap.

"Yes, sometimes..." I confessed, weakly.

"I can tell. There's some stain discoloration," she deadpanned.

Ugh! What is it with these people?! As if just paying someone to scrape your teeth with metal utensils isn't bad enough, they have to throw in a guilt trip, too. I bet that's a course they take in dental hygiene school: "Guilt Tripping 101" -- it was probably taught by my mother. If I were a dog, my tail would be between my legs during every trip to the dentist. I think people who work there are actually BDSMers in white lab coats, who have managed to figure out a way to support themselves by preying on the phobias of the general public.

After an hour of scraping and scratching, I was finally free to go. Ashamed of myself, I collected the fragments of my dignity and walked out to the front desk. "That's it. I have reached the end of dental humiliation. I'm going to be Superstar Tooth Nazi until my next appointment! And quit smoking, too!!" I thought.

"Ok, that will be $105.00," said the receptionist.

There is a direct relationship between my age and the level of unpleasantness experienced at the dentist's office. Now, not only does it hurt my gumline, it hurts my wallet, too. Oh how I miss the days of my childhood, when a trip to the dentist's office meant only that I got to play with the giant, toy teeth and give the hygienists heart attacks with my sudden fits of giggling. (You see, I have extremely ticklish gums, and when they'd polish my teeth, I would erupt into uncontrollable laughter. I still do it, sometimes.)

Speaking of laughter, I had Lasagna Night on Sunday. MJ, KT, Mr. & Mrs. Bill, J-Rich and Mack Daddy came. We had such a good time. I don't think anyone went to bed hungry! We had a really good time. The only downside was that Cute Neighbor never showed. He never came over to tell me he couldn't make it, and he hasn't come over to apologize for being MIA, either. I find this very rude. Not to mention, a little insulting: it's not like it would be a ton of effort for him to tell me. He wouldn't even have to get into his car.

I don't get it. If your diet consists mainly of Healthy Choice frozen dinners (he told me that's pretty much all he eats), and your cute & single neighbor invites you over for a free, homemade meal, and all you have to do is basically fall out of your front door and grab a fork, then what is the problem? I mean, even if you aren't interested in her romantically, at the very least, you're getting a free dinner. And free beer. Men make no sense to me. And I think I've hit a new low in my pathetic dating life: guys won't even get up off their couches to mooch free food from me. WOW. I am, apparently, just that repulsive.

So, it's back to the drawing board again.

Speaking of drawing....MJ invited me to an art show this past weekend. Four local artists displayed their work, and there was even one piece on which all four of them collaborated. It was fantastic. All four artists have different styles, but their styles meshed well together. MJ's dating The Artist, and his art is....really just incredible stuff. You have to look at the pieces for a looooong time before you can soak it all in. It's been described as "post-modern", but I would describe it more as "Picasso meets Dali meets Pollock meets Dr. Seuss". Normally, I don't "get" modern art, but I really dug his stuff. I wish I had a little extra money lying around, because I would buy something from him. I wish I could find some pictures of his stuff online so I could show you some of his work, but I'll have to let you imagine it from my description above. (MJ-- you need to tell him to set up a flickr account or something!)

We are slowly but surely getting our details worked out for our NYC/Vermont trip next week. I am still so excited, I'm about to burst! Want to see what we've got lined up so far? Here is a photo quiz. Can you guess?








This sounds really stupid, but I'm actually really excited to ride on the subway. And to take the train to Vermont. There isn't much public transportation in SC. So this will be really interesting to me. Heck, this will only be the 5th or 6th airplane trip I've ever been on, so even that will be fun! I'm one of those weird people who gets waaaaay too excited to get on airplanes. I even like the food.

I have always defined a vacation as: "Going somewhere, other than a conference or my mother's house, which requires me to board an airplane to get there." By that definition, this will be my first vacation since Rome, Italy in 2000.

I told MJ I would embarrass her in NYC by asking every waitress/waiter if the restaurant serves grits or mashed sweet potatoes. If she doesn't want me to do this, she should keep my mouth full of some of that delicious NY-style pizza. Mmmmmmmmmmmm......can't wait.

But instead, I think I will stare straight up as we walk down the streets, proclaiming in the thickest of Southern accents, "Well, gaaaaawlee, I ain't never seen no buildin' that high! Shucks!" -- Huh. That came out more like Gomer Pyle. Perhaps I will practice my impression before I get on the plane......I will charm the pants off them "city folk". Hopefully, the cute and single ones.

Oh man. One can only hope......de-panting hotties is one of my favorite things to do......*daydreams*

I have no clue what to pack. I'm tempted to bring nothing but stilettos and cocktail dresses, but I'm sure that's entirely inappropriate. LOL But aren't I supposed to look like this in order to fit in?



I certainly don't want to look like this.....*shudders*


But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before I go to NYC and Vermont, I am being visited by....

The Czarina. *cue Darth Vader theme song*

And Smurf and Czarina's Best Friend are coming, too. They will serve as a no-fly-zone, because otherwise, The Czarina and I would drive each other bonkers. We need referees when we hang out.

The good news is, she wants to buy me some stuff for my house. And I think (fingers crossed, people!) that I can talk her into giving me some money for my NYC trip. Because, if she doesn't, I might have to dig through NYC garbage cans to find something to eat. Oh well. It will be good for the diet if I don't eat for 5 days, right? Maybe I can just eat hot dogs from those street vendors.....

Where was I? Oh yes. The Czarina is coming, with her best friend and my little sister in tow. She hasn't been to Columbia since the day I moved here, 5 years ago, almost to the day. She finally gets to see my house. We will be decorating mi casa, which is nice. We will be visiting some local historic homes and dining out at some of my favorite restaurants, like this one and this one. They will get to meet my coworkers and some of my friends. I think I will give them a little tour of my favorite spots in town. I am thinking we should probably hit the Columbia Museum of Art, since they just got a couple of Renoirs on loan from Chicago, and they have recently expanded their late-Renaissance Dutch painting collection.

And what are my favorite kinds of paintings?????

Anything by Renoir and anything Dutch.

In order to prepare for their visit, I have to take deep breaths, have a cigarette binge, practice nodding my head and saying, "Yes, Mom, you are absolutely right!" and clean my room. I have also stocked up on The Czarina's favorite diet foods:

Eggbeaters
apples
low-fat cheddar cheese
diet tonic water
oatmeal
low-fat cottage cheese
whole wheat bread
bagged lettuce

Ugh. No wonder she's always so cranky. Wouldn't you be, if that was what you ate, 90% of the time? And she wonders why I cannot lose weight. It's because I'd rather be fat than eat that stuff, day in and day out. But this topic deserves its own post, so I will stop there with that little difference in opinion between mother and daughter.

Which reminds me......I need to hide all my "bad" stuff: twizzlers, oreos, birth control pills, ashtray & cigarettes....what am I forgetting?? Oh, those condoms in my purse....which were actually a gag gift, I swear on all things holy......I know you don't believe me, but they were. I just laughed at my friend W's joke and absent-mindedly stuck them in my purse. Oh, come on! You have to believe me. Like I'd even get a chance to use those things, at the rate I'm going. [See paragraph about Cute Neighbor, above.]

The Czarina will be here tomorrow afternoon. So I don't know how often I'll be able to post until she leaves on Sunday. This long-ass, rambling post will probably have to do ya for a few days.