Greetings from Virginia! I will fill you in on my new life here later, with details about The Most Frustrating and Neverending Move Ever in the History of Relocations, The Magical Weight Loss Phenomenon and The Vague Job with Unavailable Boss (Through No Fault of Her Own). All you need to know at this moment is that
A) I love Richmond already.
B) My love life has already gone to shit, if you can believe it. Luckily, this has not impacted A (see above). Yet.
You may have noticed that it is almost 9pm on New Year's Eve. And I am blogging. In my jammies. Alone. What, did you think things would be different, now that I am out of horrible Savannah? That just because I am closer to my family and finally back where I feel at home that my romantic endeavors would be any different than they always have been? Or perhaps it's because last year's NYE was absolutely amazingly fun and awesome? Oh, my little naive readers. You know I can't let this year end without yet another crash-and-burn tale from my dating life, or lack thereof. Although I got down to the wire, I did manage to squeeze one final story into 2011 for you.
2011 started with a great dating story and it will end with another. Ok, I guess last year's NYE wasn't totally amazing and fun by the time it was over. But it most certainly started off that way, and it was a helluva lot better than the way this one is shaping up. Let me explain.
Thanks to the intervention of several friends and/or relatives, I was talked into (read: dragged kicking and screaming) signing up for eHarmony (emphasis on "harm") late last summer. Since you pay for it 3 months' at a time, I had completely forgotten that it would automatically renew itself, so after 3 months of guys who didn't even sound good on paper, I got to -- surprise! -- get automatically charged for another 3 months' of depressing dating prospects! Well, by the time I realized that this had happened, I was in the midst of leaving Savannah to move to Richmond. And they don't do refunds. So I had another 3 months' worth of prepaid virtual dating to burn through. Ever the Pollyanna/mental nimrod/glutton for punishment that I am when it comes to dating, I decided I would just update my eHarmony profile to list Richmond as my location and keep on trying. I am new in town. What else was I going to do with my free time?
Well, I was very pleasantly surprised, let me tell you. Not only were the men better looking in Richmond, but they were better educated, too, with more interesting jobs. Gone were the Savannah hipster bartenders who looked like they don't bathe and the desperate-for-any-female military men. (I do support our men in uniform, heck, my brother is a vet for pete's sake, but what is with their desperation to get girlfriends? It is seriously freaky. I wish they would work on that, collectively.) The guys in Richmond seem...pretty great, actually! Woo hoo!
There were a few that seemed pretty good, but one stood out above the rest. MM was just the right age, looked like he knew how to have a good time and was pretty good looking. I had looked at his profile about 3 times before I realized that in this one photo, there was a kid. He looked so good in the photo, I literally didn't even see the kid, who turns out to be one of his daughters. Yes, he has 2 daughters and an ex-wife. That's a decent amount of baggage, but I like kids and I am trying to be more open minded about stuff like that. I haven't been dating much lately (read: at all...for 2 years....). I just wanted someone who seemed like fun. So we started emailing, which progressed to texting.
He was great! He was flirtatious, funny and seemed interested in me. He asked me out and we booked a date. We were going to meet for dinner in The Fan, which is the old home/cool boutiques/best restaurants area of Richmond. I was pretty stoked. It was my first date in *ahem* over 2 years (except for the blind date where I was a cougar and we didn't really hit it off anyway, so I am not even going to link to that post). I had an outfit picked out and was kind of excited to do some in-person flirting with MM.
That is, until he canceled on me the day before. Something about work being really crazy and he had to work late on the night of our date. Ok, well, everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, I thought. It's the holidays, and everyone is a little crazy right now. So we rescheduled. And then I cried a little, because I was so disappointed. Normally, I have a rule against dating guys who make me cry, but since this was a work thing, it wasn't his fault. So we ended up just texting for another week. (I began to get annoyed at the texting after a while...why not just call me? So much easier and less sketchy.) Things got very flirtatious, though. It's so easy to flirt via text...where was I?
Our first date went well...even though he was a little bit late. (Again, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt on first dates. They can be nerve-wracking. So I let it slide. He had texted me to say he was running a little late, so that helped.) The food was good and we had good conversation, but what was odd was the complete and total lack of flirting going on. And he was sitting a little farther away from me than I would have preferred. This, from the guy who, earlier in the week, was asking me some very PG-13 questions via my phone (some I would not even answer because they were a little too personal). This same guy, who had been talking up a big storm about kissing me, was acting like we were on a totally blind date. It was very odd.
He also did most of the talking, which is one of my first date pet peeves. I like a healthy split of getting to know each other, not the entire sordid story of why your marriage broke up. All I asked was how long he had been divorced. I didn't really need to know that she cheated and lied and all that other stuff. It's not really any of my business and made me a little uncomfortable.
I switched topics and asked him about his family. He describes his mother as "manipulative and controlling" and I could see a little red flag pop up. Now, anyone who knows me at all knows that my mother drives me nuts and I believe The Czarina to be a major control freak, but I would never describe her as manipulative, and I certainly wouldn't tell any of that to someone I just met. This, combined with his description of his ex-wife and a couple of bad dates he'd been on recently caused me to make a joke about how he'd bad mouth me later, too. He assured me I was a very pleasant surprise and that I was as attractive in person as I was in my photos. That was a relief. I decided that I would keep my ears peeled for more misogynistic comments, but the little things he said weren't instant deal breakers. For all I knew, it could have been nerves.
I decided to focus on how good looking he was and how good he smelled. And how to get him to sit closer to me. I decided to take off my jacket, exposing a black sequined top that was cut just low enough to be date-worthy, but not slutty. I could feel his eyes right where I wanted them to be. And although he did angle his body towards me a little more and put his arm on the back of the booth, his rear remained firmly in place...too far away for any serious flirting to take place. Rats. I guess that's what I got for telling him the he's not allowed to kiss me on our first date. Oh the joys of trying to pretend to be good when I really don't want to be..........
Our date got better as the night wore on. Aside from the comments about his mom and ex and my unsuccessful attempt to get him to scoot closer, it went well. It went so well that he asked me for a 2nd date just before hugging me goodbye. I was stoked.
Then, all this week, he went back to the vicious flirting and regular texting. I told him I was tired of texting and just wanted to talk, so he called me. After the phone call, he texted me to say how much he likes hearing my voice on the phone. He even asked my favorite question in the whole world: "When can I see you again?". *sigh* I love that question. At this point, I am thinking we are definitely having a super hot makeout session on Date #2. Even if I have to wear a super slut-tastic shirt this time. I can't take it anymore.
Two hours before he's supposed to pick me up for our second date, he texts me.
Would you be pissed if I asked you if we could reschedule for next week?
"If you have to ask that question, you already know the answer, douchebag," I thought. I texted back: So you're canceling on me again?
I am so sorry, he replied.
At this point, I am about to punch a wall I am so pissed. I don't reply. When I get home from work, he texts me again: I am so sorry. If you don't ever want to talk to me again, I totally understand.
Now, I am not stupid. I know that if you really liked someone, you would never say that, out of fear they'd take you up on the idea. He wanted out, but didn't want to be the bad guy. This guy has really mastered texting. He uses it to say all sorts of things he doesn't have the balls to say in person. Despite texting me every day, despite all his little innuendos about sleeping with me, despite the compliments he gave me, despite asking me out a 2nd time...he wanted out. Why, I don't know. And I never will know. Because I replied with
Good. Because I don't.
The worst part was, he never replied to that text.
Showing posts with label I have an inner slut. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I have an inner slut. Show all posts
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, October 03, 2011
Carry Me Back to Old Virginia?
Y'all, my job hunt is on the move. I am on Mission: Richmond or Bust. After a lot of thinking and praying and research, I have decided that there isn't really anything my current job can do to keep me here in Savannah and that I am only interested in moving to Richmond, VA. I hate living in this town. I have met some great people, I love my apartment and I do like my job (most of the time), but my personal life here stinks. It's a vicious cycle of this town not having what I want, which puts me in a bad/depressed attitude, which makes me not want to work harder at making the best of this place.
I have recently had discussions with a couple of my best girlfriends here in Savannah and all 3 of us dislike living here. We all agree that there is a curse or some kind of oppressive atmosphere over this town. I thought it was just me, but when I mentioned it to them, they thought they were the only people thinking that, too! We all feel like we have become depressed ever since we have moved here. It's very odd.
This was a long blogging gap! Let's see what you have missed....oh, so my favorite coworker, the one who was running the other half of the library, quit. Her old job wooed her back -- and she would have been insane not to take the job. So I am temporarily running the whole library again, for no extra pay. My temporary boss did just get me a nice raise, though -- 4%. We usually only get 3%, so I appreciate that. We've also had another person quit (I'm telling you, it's like rats fleeing a flood around here), so now we have 4 vacancies to hire for. If I leave, too, that will be 5. And no one will be running the library. I do feel a little guilty about that....with all the craziness and absurdity of my job, I do like it. No job is perfect. But if only this job were somewhere else! There is nothing my current employer can do to make me love Savannah. It's a great place to visit, but not to live.
I counted up the # of people who have quit/been fired from the library since I started here 2 and a half years ago: 16. That is a LOT of turnover, especially when the staff is only about 20 people total. Luckily, many of the ineffective and bad employees are gone (save one, although if all goes well today, he will be getting fired this afternoon, after 6 YEARS of his antics). So if I already don't like living here, and no one else is staying, why should I stay? I have had 4 awesome awesome coworkers over the years here, and all 4 of them have quit. Honestly, I hate working here without them. That more than anything else has affected my morale. And The Czarina reminded me -- I have been trying to find a job in Richmond since I got back from Hong Kong. That was over a year ago. It's time to move on.
In other news, I took down my profile on eHarmony -- I am trying to leave this town, so dating now doesn't really factor into my plan. I may pick it up when/if I get to Richmond, although I don't think I will do eHarmony again -- they don't let you browse! Kind of frustrating. You have to wait for them to send you people.
Do you remember me talking about Miss Perfect who lives upstairs from me? She suddenly stopped talking to me. It happened after I told her I am a Christian. I think that made her uncomfortable. She asked me a bunch of questions about it and I told her that in the past I had claimed to be a Christian but was not really walking the walk. I told her how I am living my life now as opposed to a few years ago (or even a few months ago!) and I think she felt I was judging her or something. Which I'm not! I'm actually kind of envious of her ability to have guys sleep over....and not go to church....*sigh* Anyway, it did hurt my feelings, but at the same time, I didn't really see her becoming my best friend or anything, so I suppose it's for the best. She reminded me a little too much of my old roommate (the one who was bi-polar and would go on spending sprees even though she was broke). I thought we could at least hang out together, but I guess she doesn't agree. Oh well. I am taking it as another sign that it's time for me to move on.
The Ex-Fiance still lives here in Savannah. He still hangs out with all my friends, which is fine. It used to piss me off but I have gotten over it. He and I have just been avoiding each other. But he randomly messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago and apologized for avoiding me and making things weird. I really appreciated that. So we have chatted a little via Facebook/text message, and I think we're cool now. It's all water under the bridge. He was dating a girl for a little while, and that made me happy for him, even though it didn't work out. He's even watching Sammy for me while I'm in Virginia later this week.
It was a long, boring summer for me, mostly because I was broke as a joke. My tenant (remember, I own a house in Columbia, SC) moved out in early May and I had no tenant....all summer....I just now have someone in there, which is awesome because I was dipping into savings to pay for rent AND mortgage all summer. Ouch! I literally bought nothing but groceries all summer long. No shopping, no vacations.
Now for the exciting part of this post! This post's title is a play on the state song of Virginia....which I am using because later this week, I have a job interview. I am pretty excited about it! It's a very well known art museum, and it would be an amazing place to work. I have been visiting that museum since I was a kid.
If I get it, it will be much less responsibility. I would miss being a supervisor, but I also think that I'm really burned out on my current job, and would welcome a slower pace so I can focus on my personal life more. It has really taken a back seat ever since I got here to Savannah. I am a little concerned, career-wise, about potentially going down the ladder, but if my personal life is more fulfilling, I may not care. And you never know -- moving up can happen anytime.
Another way this job would potentially affect my career is that it would be a 2nd art librarian job in a row. By focusing my career on such a tiny field (there are only about 300-400 art librarians in the U.S.), I am slightly worried that I may be putting myself in a box, essentially type casting myself. But this kind of organization would probably be easy to grow in (I read one of their annual reports and it says they are expecting a lot of people to retire over the next few years). And again, if I like my job, that won't matter!
The daughter of one of my mom's friends works there now and she said everyone there is very smart and super nice -- what more can you ask for in coworkers?? This museum has really become an icon of the city, and its success can only be due to the amazing employees there, so I would love to be a part of that!
The biggest boon would be, of course, moving to Richmond. I absolutely love Richmond and have always wanted to live there. I'd be close to my family and I know Richmond has all the stuff I am looking for in a city (I have been researching! I learned my lesson about moving here -- I did no research and just went with my emotional response to Savannah-- huge mistake.). One of the first red flags I got when I moved to Savannah was that no one here is from Savannah. That means they all get out ASAP. Richmond is not like that at all. You can't shake a stick without hitting a Richmond native -- I take that as a really good sign. I can see this being my -- gasp! -- last move.
I am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch or be overly confident about this, but I have a decent shot at getting this job. If you read the description of the requirements, I have every single one of them...plus extras. I would be taking a small pay cut, but nothing drastic. And again, if my personal life improves, it will be worth it.
The Czarina is, of course, ecstatic. She wants to have all of her "chickens" (that's what she calls all of her children) back in the roost, so to speak. I miss home, too. Now that my brother Fat Dog is married (yay! They ended up eloping to Hawaii and we are all very happy!) and my little sister Smurf is in college, I really want to be around family more. Even though The Czarina drives me nuts, I still love her.
The cherry on this little sundae I am whipping up is that The Czarina owns a condo right down the street from the museum -- a nice condo. That she will rent to me. And then I can walk to work and live in a super awesome neighborhood. WOOT!
So I'll be flying up for my interview on Wednesday. The interview is on Thursday morning. Wish me luck!
Oh, and if anyone has advice/good stories to share about moving down the ladder or taking jobs to enable you to focus on your personal life more, I would love to hear about it! Was it worth it? Do you have any regrets? Have you found it difficult to move back up the ladder later? The Czarina did it once and she (to this day) doesn't regret it. Although that might be because when she did it, she moved to Washington DC and met my dad. Of course it's easy for her to say she didn't regret it!
I have recently had discussions with a couple of my best girlfriends here in Savannah and all 3 of us dislike living here. We all agree that there is a curse or some kind of oppressive atmosphere over this town. I thought it was just me, but when I mentioned it to them, they thought they were the only people thinking that, too! We all feel like we have become depressed ever since we have moved here. It's very odd.
This was a long blogging gap! Let's see what you have missed....oh, so my favorite coworker, the one who was running the other half of the library, quit. Her old job wooed her back -- and she would have been insane not to take the job. So I am temporarily running the whole library again, for no extra pay. My temporary boss did just get me a nice raise, though -- 4%. We usually only get 3%, so I appreciate that. We've also had another person quit (I'm telling you, it's like rats fleeing a flood around here), so now we have 4 vacancies to hire for. If I leave, too, that will be 5. And no one will be running the library. I do feel a little guilty about that....with all the craziness and absurdity of my job, I do like it. No job is perfect. But if only this job were somewhere else! There is nothing my current employer can do to make me love Savannah. It's a great place to visit, but not to live.
I counted up the # of people who have quit/been fired from the library since I started here 2 and a half years ago: 16. That is a LOT of turnover, especially when the staff is only about 20 people total. Luckily, many of the ineffective and bad employees are gone (save one, although if all goes well today, he will be getting fired this afternoon, after 6 YEARS of his antics). So if I already don't like living here, and no one else is staying, why should I stay? I have had 4 awesome awesome coworkers over the years here, and all 4 of them have quit. Honestly, I hate working here without them. That more than anything else has affected my morale. And The Czarina reminded me -- I have been trying to find a job in Richmond since I got back from Hong Kong. That was over a year ago. It's time to move on.
In other news, I took down my profile on eHarmony -- I am trying to leave this town, so dating now doesn't really factor into my plan. I may pick it up when/if I get to Richmond, although I don't think I will do eHarmony again -- they don't let you browse! Kind of frustrating. You have to wait for them to send you people.
Do you remember me talking about Miss Perfect who lives upstairs from me? She suddenly stopped talking to me. It happened after I told her I am a Christian. I think that made her uncomfortable. She asked me a bunch of questions about it and I told her that in the past I had claimed to be a Christian but was not really walking the walk. I told her how I am living my life now as opposed to a few years ago (or even a few months ago!) and I think she felt I was judging her or something. Which I'm not! I'm actually kind of envious of her ability to have guys sleep over....and not go to church....*sigh* Anyway, it did hurt my feelings, but at the same time, I didn't really see her becoming my best friend or anything, so I suppose it's for the best. She reminded me a little too much of my old roommate (the one who was bi-polar and would go on spending sprees even though she was broke). I thought we could at least hang out together, but I guess she doesn't agree. Oh well. I am taking it as another sign that it's time for me to move on.
The Ex-Fiance still lives here in Savannah. He still hangs out with all my friends, which is fine. It used to piss me off but I have gotten over it. He and I have just been avoiding each other. But he randomly messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago and apologized for avoiding me and making things weird. I really appreciated that. So we have chatted a little via Facebook/text message, and I think we're cool now. It's all water under the bridge. He was dating a girl for a little while, and that made me happy for him, even though it didn't work out. He's even watching Sammy for me while I'm in Virginia later this week.
It was a long, boring summer for me, mostly because I was broke as a joke. My tenant (remember, I own a house in Columbia, SC) moved out in early May and I had no tenant....all summer....I just now have someone in there, which is awesome because I was dipping into savings to pay for rent AND mortgage all summer. Ouch! I literally bought nothing but groceries all summer long. No shopping, no vacations.
Now for the exciting part of this post! This post's title is a play on the state song of Virginia....which I am using because later this week, I have a job interview. I am pretty excited about it! It's a very well known art museum, and it would be an amazing place to work. I have been visiting that museum since I was a kid.
If I get it, it will be much less responsibility. I would miss being a supervisor, but I also think that I'm really burned out on my current job, and would welcome a slower pace so I can focus on my personal life more. It has really taken a back seat ever since I got here to Savannah. I am a little concerned, career-wise, about potentially going down the ladder, but if my personal life is more fulfilling, I may not care. And you never know -- moving up can happen anytime.
Another way this job would potentially affect my career is that it would be a 2nd art librarian job in a row. By focusing my career on such a tiny field (there are only about 300-400 art librarians in the U.S.), I am slightly worried that I may be putting myself in a box, essentially type casting myself. But this kind of organization would probably be easy to grow in (I read one of their annual reports and it says they are expecting a lot of people to retire over the next few years). And again, if I like my job, that won't matter!
The daughter of one of my mom's friends works there now and she said everyone there is very smart and super nice -- what more can you ask for in coworkers?? This museum has really become an icon of the city, and its success can only be due to the amazing employees there, so I would love to be a part of that!
The biggest boon would be, of course, moving to Richmond. I absolutely love Richmond and have always wanted to live there. I'd be close to my family and I know Richmond has all the stuff I am looking for in a city (I have been researching! I learned my lesson about moving here -- I did no research and just went with my emotional response to Savannah-- huge mistake.). One of the first red flags I got when I moved to Savannah was that no one here is from Savannah. That means they all get out ASAP. Richmond is not like that at all. You can't shake a stick without hitting a Richmond native -- I take that as a really good sign. I can see this being my -- gasp! -- last move.
I am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch or be overly confident about this, but I have a decent shot at getting this job. If you read the description of the requirements, I have every single one of them...plus extras. I would be taking a small pay cut, but nothing drastic. And again, if my personal life improves, it will be worth it.
The Czarina is, of course, ecstatic. She wants to have all of her "chickens" (that's what she calls all of her children) back in the roost, so to speak. I miss home, too. Now that my brother Fat Dog is married (yay! They ended up eloping to Hawaii and we are all very happy!) and my little sister Smurf is in college, I really want to be around family more. Even though The Czarina drives me nuts, I still love her.
The cherry on this little sundae I am whipping up is that The Czarina owns a condo right down the street from the museum -- a nice condo. That she will rent to me. And then I can walk to work and live in a super awesome neighborhood. WOOT!
So I'll be flying up for my interview on Wednesday. The interview is on Thursday morning. Wish me luck!
Oh, and if anyone has advice/good stories to share about moving down the ladder or taking jobs to enable you to focus on your personal life more, I would love to hear about it! Was it worth it? Do you have any regrets? Have you found it difficult to move back up the ladder later? The Czarina did it once and she (to this day) doesn't regret it. Although that might be because when she did it, she moved to Washington DC and met my dad. Of course it's easy for her to say she didn't regret it!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Forks in the Road
Lately, everywhere I turn, I am faced with choices. Not just chocolate-or-vanilla choices. These are big, life-changing choices. I pride myself on being a decisive person (sometimes, too decisive...), but this sudden deluge is making me ponder my life on a grand scale.
My previous supervisor quit last September, which totally stunk. We all miss him. His position is still vacant, and I am qualified for it. He has been encouraging me to apply and has seemed disappointed that I haven't done so. After kicking this idea around for months, I just applied for it. Before doing so, I spoke with Big Boss about it, and she really liked the idea, especially since she was just told there's no money in the budget for her to fly potential candidates in for an interview. She also told me that she is really needing to fill it soon. I told her my concern with applying was that I'd be supervising The Gorilla (my awful, awful coworker). She told me that she had already been thinking about how to restructure the staff so a different person would supervise him -- this is a relief to me, but it means the new girl (who we all adore) would end up supervising him. This makes me feel like an asshole. How can I do that to someone? Big Boss said she had been planning on making this change before I talked to her, but I would still feel like a jerk. Then again, this new girl is probably the only one of us who doesn't have bad blood with him and the personality to handle him.
Big Boss said that if they don't let her actually hire someone (remember, we are still in financial cutbacks here at the moment), she may put me in it temporarily, which is fine -- it's still something I can put on my resume, and I can still ask for some extra money. I'm secretly crossing my fingers that the higher ups will tell her she's got to eliminate some positions, and then we can just get rid of The Gorilla!
Obviously, she cannot guarantee that I'll get it (I know she likes 2 other applicants who have applied), but based on her reaction to my interest (excited and relieved), I feel I stand a good chance. If I do get to cross this bridge, I would like to talk to Big Boss about creating some sort of hybrid thing for me until my position could be filled. I don't want to leave my staff hanging. We can barely function with 3 full time people. What would my staff think? It would mean a LOT more work for them if my position goes vacant, even for a couple of months.
So I am a little conflicted about my decision. I went ahead and did it because this step up the ladder would open up new positions for me for the rest of my career -- after a position like this, I could run any library, more or less. I am getting a little burned out in my current post, too. I'm ready for more responsibility and new duties. And just because I move up here at this school doesn't mean that I can't still look for jobs in Virginia. Might as well make some extra bucks while I'm figuring out how to get out of this town. So, I went for it. We'll see.
Of course, the next day, I found a super-awesome job at a museum in Richmond. I am fairly qualified for it, and I'm going to apply for that, too. I guess when it rains, it pours!
There are also some big choices in my dating life (er, lack thereof!). I don't talk about it much on here, but I am growing more religious as I get older. Maybe it's maturity or life experience, but I have come to find that prayer and attending church has added so much richness to my life. I recently started attending a church I really like, and I've been meeting with a Bible Study group for almost a year now. I absolutely love my Bible Study friends. It is the most supportive and wise group of girls I have ever met.
Last time we met, my Bible Study group talked about dating, sex and marriage -- and how to do these things in a Christian way. Our group is made up of single, dating and married women -- so there are lots of perspectives. One of the things that all the (happily, I might add) married women said was that none of them had sex with their husbands before marriage. Even if they weren't virgins when they met their hubbies, they did not have sex with them until their Honeymoon. Some of them didn't even kiss!!!
This is a completely foreign concept to me. I happily turned my V-card in about 10 years ago, and have never looked back. I don't regret it. I look forward to the next time I get to partake (in case you didn't realize that after reading about NYE Guy!). This is pretty much in direct conflict with how I'm supposed to be living. I haven't figured out how to reconcile "Being a Christian Girl" with "Major Enjoyment of Lotsa Sex with Non-Husbands" yet. But you know, we're all works in progress.
These married friends of mine all said that in addition to strengthening their faith, that this enabled their relationships to strengthen -- for the right reasons. They really got to know each other and their relationships had better priorities. While I totally see this, and can see how removing sex would enable you to really get to know someone better before marriage, I am just not sure if I could actually do it. I mean, I realize that I should probably *ahem* wait longer to jump in the sack with new guys, but the thought of ZERO sex(or even a little messin' around!) makes my face go pale and my stomach queasy. I'm not one of those people who thinks you have to sleep with someone before you marry them -- I'm one of those people who just REALLY likes sex. It's like someone is telling me to enjoy summer...without flipflops, ice cream or the beach. It sorta takes out some of the best parts about having a boyfriend! I guess I don't think it's that big of a deal to get my freak on and enjoy it. I'm sure if I was still a virgin, I'd think differently. But I know what I'd be missing out on.
But this strategy worked for them. Perhaps they are on to something. If I do abstain completely *gulp* with someone I'd really like to get to know, I'm sorry to say it would be for practical/secular reasons, rather than religious. I definitely agree it would force you to get to know that person very well. If I met someone who I could take seriously, I will try to wait as long as possible. But what about those guys you don't want to marry? I meet them a lot. Can't I have some fun?
And maybe it's just a coincidence that these girls didn't do it with their now-hubbies, which resulted in a marriage proposal. There are tons of couples out there who are happily married and boinked plenty of times before walking down the aisle. Right? I mean, looking back on it, all the sex (and it was good!) didn't stop me and Ex-Fiancee from getting to know each other/deciding if we were a good fit outside of the bedroom. The good sex didn't save our relationship.
I know this is a bridge I can cross when I get to it, but I've been thinking about it a lot. Then again, I think about boinking a lot in general. LOL Maybe it's good that I don't have a boyfriend or dating life right now. I gotta figure out some stuff.
My previous supervisor quit last September, which totally stunk. We all miss him. His position is still vacant, and I am qualified for it. He has been encouraging me to apply and has seemed disappointed that I haven't done so. After kicking this idea around for months, I just applied for it. Before doing so, I spoke with Big Boss about it, and she really liked the idea, especially since she was just told there's no money in the budget for her to fly potential candidates in for an interview. She also told me that she is really needing to fill it soon. I told her my concern with applying was that I'd be supervising The Gorilla (my awful, awful coworker). She told me that she had already been thinking about how to restructure the staff so a different person would supervise him -- this is a relief to me, but it means the new girl (who we all adore) would end up supervising him. This makes me feel like an asshole. How can I do that to someone? Big Boss said she had been planning on making this change before I talked to her, but I would still feel like a jerk. Then again, this new girl is probably the only one of us who doesn't have bad blood with him and the personality to handle him.
Big Boss said that if they don't let her actually hire someone (remember, we are still in financial cutbacks here at the moment), she may put me in it temporarily, which is fine -- it's still something I can put on my resume, and I can still ask for some extra money. I'm secretly crossing my fingers that the higher ups will tell her she's got to eliminate some positions, and then we can just get rid of The Gorilla!
Obviously, she cannot guarantee that I'll get it (I know she likes 2 other applicants who have applied), but based on her reaction to my interest (excited and relieved), I feel I stand a good chance. If I do get to cross this bridge, I would like to talk to Big Boss about creating some sort of hybrid thing for me until my position could be filled. I don't want to leave my staff hanging. We can barely function with 3 full time people. What would my staff think? It would mean a LOT more work for them if my position goes vacant, even for a couple of months.
So I am a little conflicted about my decision. I went ahead and did it because this step up the ladder would open up new positions for me for the rest of my career -- after a position like this, I could run any library, more or less. I am getting a little burned out in my current post, too. I'm ready for more responsibility and new duties. And just because I move up here at this school doesn't mean that I can't still look for jobs in Virginia. Might as well make some extra bucks while I'm figuring out how to get out of this town. So, I went for it. We'll see.
Of course, the next day, I found a super-awesome job at a museum in Richmond. I am fairly qualified for it, and I'm going to apply for that, too. I guess when it rains, it pours!
There are also some big choices in my dating life (er, lack thereof!). I don't talk about it much on here, but I am growing more religious as I get older. Maybe it's maturity or life experience, but I have come to find that prayer and attending church has added so much richness to my life. I recently started attending a church I really like, and I've been meeting with a Bible Study group for almost a year now. I absolutely love my Bible Study friends. It is the most supportive and wise group of girls I have ever met.
Last time we met, my Bible Study group talked about dating, sex and marriage -- and how to do these things in a Christian way. Our group is made up of single, dating and married women -- so there are lots of perspectives. One of the things that all the (happily, I might add) married women said was that none of them had sex with their husbands before marriage. Even if they weren't virgins when they met their hubbies, they did not have sex with them until their Honeymoon. Some of them didn't even kiss!!!
This is a completely foreign concept to me. I happily turned my V-card in about 10 years ago, and have never looked back. I don't regret it. I look forward to the next time I get to partake (in case you didn't realize that after reading about NYE Guy!). This is pretty much in direct conflict with how I'm supposed to be living. I haven't figured out how to reconcile "Being a Christian Girl" with "Major Enjoyment of Lotsa Sex with Non-Husbands" yet. But you know, we're all works in progress.
These married friends of mine all said that in addition to strengthening their faith, that this enabled their relationships to strengthen -- for the right reasons. They really got to know each other and their relationships had better priorities. While I totally see this, and can see how removing sex would enable you to really get to know someone better before marriage, I am just not sure if I could actually do it. I mean, I realize that I should probably *ahem* wait longer to jump in the sack with new guys, but the thought of ZERO sex(or even a little messin' around!) makes my face go pale and my stomach queasy. I'm not one of those people who thinks you have to sleep with someone before you marry them -- I'm one of those people who just REALLY likes sex. It's like someone is telling me to enjoy summer...without flipflops, ice cream or the beach. It sorta takes out some of the best parts about having a boyfriend! I guess I don't think it's that big of a deal to get my freak on and enjoy it. I'm sure if I was still a virgin, I'd think differently. But I know what I'd be missing out on.
But this strategy worked for them. Perhaps they are on to something. If I do abstain completely *gulp* with someone I'd really like to get to know, I'm sorry to say it would be for practical/secular reasons, rather than religious. I definitely agree it would force you to get to know that person very well. If I met someone who I could take seriously, I will try to wait as long as possible. But what about those guys you don't want to marry? I meet them a lot. Can't I have some fun?
And maybe it's just a coincidence that these girls didn't do it with their now-hubbies, which resulted in a marriage proposal. There are tons of couples out there who are happily married and boinked plenty of times before walking down the aisle. Right? I mean, looking back on it, all the sex (and it was good!) didn't stop me and Ex-Fiancee from getting to know each other/deciding if we were a good fit outside of the bedroom. The good sex didn't save our relationship.
I know this is a bridge I can cross when I get to it, but I've been thinking about it a lot. Then again, I think about boinking a lot in general. LOL Maybe it's good that I don't have a boyfriend or dating life right now. I gotta figure out some stuff.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Bringing Sexy Back
Happy New Year!!!! I am so glad it's 2011. I don't know if it's because of my determination to get back to the old me or if it's because of my fabulous New Year's weekend, but I am so happy and optimistic about everything right now. I know this will be a great year. I can just feel it!!! Warm fuzzies, everyone. I am Suzie Effing Sunshine right now!!!!!!
Sorry, I will take it down a notch.
But I have super awesome news!!!! And I need your help.
You see, there is (drumroll, please) Boy News. And true to form, I either messed up or I just completely do not understand the opposite sex. Still. * sigh * I know. But where would this blog be, if it weren't for my dating/hook-up antics?
New Year's Eve was just going to be another VB-sits-on-her-couch type of weekend, until I began to miss MJ and remembered that Mr. Bill was having a party. And what is New Year's for if not hanging out with old friends? So I told them I would come up. MJ informs me that Rocky (a member of The Rat Pack, if you remember those posts -- if you don't know what I am talking about, you should search for these posts in my archives) was coming to SC for New Year's Eve.
And he was bringing a buddy of his.
"Anyone I know?" I asked, ever-so-innocently.
"Nope, this one's a new one," she said.
Hmmm. He will probably be cute. Or at least fun. Definitely worthy of leg-shaving, I thought, as I packed a "boobie shirt" to wear when we went out for New Year's. [Side note: does anyone else call them "boobie shirts"? Or is it just me?]
Rocky's friends are always cute and fun. I was starting to get a little excited about this. So I went to bed kind of excited for my short drive the next day.
I arrived in Columbia just in time for a late lunch with MJ, Rocky and his friend, who I will dub NYE Guy. NYE Guy was cute, and extremely funny, as I soon found out. Later, I would discover that he is also kind of geeky (he likes to go to museums!) -- <3 Swoon <3
I started to get that feeling that it was going to be a great weekend. WOOT!
After eating, we went back to MJ's house and hung out for a bit before getting ready for Mr. Bill's party. I put on my boobie shirt and slapped on some extra eyeliner and heels. What? What was that? I felt kinda....hot. What a great feeling. It had been so long since I've felt that way. This feeling could best be described as the boring, depressed iceberg version of VB melting back into happy and exciting VB.
I was bringing sexy back.
So we head to Mr. Bill's. It was really great to see him, as well as a couple other people I knew. My only regret is that I didn't get a chance to talk to Mr. Bill as much as I wanted. So Mr. Bill, if you're reading this -- hi!!!! I spent most of my time at the party laughing with MJ, Rocky and NYE Guy, as well as a girl I will call "Other MJ" and her hilarious best friend who I will call Vietnam. We were our usual perverted selves, and there was a joke about empty beer bottles which even I cannot repeat. Hilarity and antics ensued, in other words.
Soon, it was almost time for the ball to drop. Rocky began asking everyone who they are kissing at midnight. I was sitting next to NYE Guy and when Rocky asked him, he turns to me and informs me that he wanted to kiss me. I giggled like a 12 year old. And so he did. And it was great.
Not long after, we all took the party to Art Bar, a fun bar in downtown Columbia. There was a masquerade theme happening there, so we had fun with all the masks laying around. NYE Guy and I kept sneaking away to dark corners to make out. Yay! So far, 2011 was rocking.
Fast forward to 4am, when I am still awake (!) and still in a good mood (!). But all good things must come to an end, and it was time to go home. So I drove MJ, Rocky, NYE Guy and Vietnam back to MJ's house. Shortly after that, NYE Guy and I are continuing our make-out session, and it was so much fun! He is so fun....sorry, I can't go into details.....no way to explain without being overly descriptive....ah, memories....where was I? Oh yes, so we didn't do anything R-rated or anything, but that was mostly due to the fact that it was 5am and we were exhausted! After messing around for a bit, he realized that we could just continue this the next night -- hooray for 3 day weekends!!! So we fell asleep....
...and picked up right where we left off in the morning when we woke up!
...but still did not *ahem* complete the transaction, if you get my drift. No worries. There was still another night to go! Yes. Best weekend ever.
He and I got up (at 1pm)and joined the others for food and then all 4 of us went to a museum. After that, we ate and then went back to MJ's to watch some movies. Soon, it was time for bed (YAY!) because the guys had to drive back to NYC the next day. I don't think I have ever been so excited to put on my jammies ever in my whole life. Especially with the hope that they would soon be removed by this yummy beefcake funny guy. So I get into bed while he's brushing his teeth. He climbs in and....
wants to spoon.
W.
T.
F.
Ok, fine, I can meet him halfway, I thought. I nestled in closer to him. Nothing. I made a little moan. Nada. Time for something a little more obvious, I thought. I grabbed his hand and put it on my boob. "Awesome," he said.
And then he promptly fell asleep.
Ok, yes, I know he was probably tired, but so was I. And since when do guys pick sleep over sex? This was so lame. When he started snoring in my ear, I gave up and fell asleep.
The guys left very early the next morning, so I went back to bed after saying goodbye in my sleepy haze. No smooching, even. This is so lame, I thought as I fell asleep.
When I got up, MJ and I decided to get breakfast and get a pedicure to debrief on the night. When I told her about my end of things, she tried her best to help me figure out a reason for my rejection, but we are both at a loss as to why he just wanted to spoon the 2nd night.
By the end of the day, he had friended me on facebook. 3 days later, I messaged him to thank him for posting all the great photos he took from that night. He replied right away and told me that he doesn't like messaging on FB and that I should text him. Cool! I thought. Maybe there is more?
I didn't have time to text him then, so I texted him the next night. I wish I could say that we had a super hawt flirty conversation, but no. We ended up talking about the weather. Why would you ask a girl to text you, only to talk about the weather??? Plus, it was one of those conversations where I felt like I was interviewing him. Hello! Conversations require questions from both parties! It's called "getting to know someone". So I took this to mean that he didn't want to get to know me. He's just not that into me. I get it. Fine. Closure. Done.
But then he texted me last night! To talk about beer! Who is this guy??? Argh!
Please feel free to weigh in with your opinions, because I am thinking of re-naming this guy Mr. Mixed Signals. I invited him and Rocky down here for St. Patty's Day. I guess we will see if they come down. Do you think he likes me but he's just bad at flirting? Should I be more obvious w/flirty texts??? Who am I kidding. This is classic Just Not That Into Me.
It's good that I am blogging right now, because it is preventing me from messaging him on FB. Must. Fight. Temptation. MJ thinks I am reacting like this because I haven't met anyone in a long time and I'm just overreacting. I don't know. All I know is that I was not done making out with him!!!! And he makes me laugh. A lot. *sigh*
Alright, here's the part that is (almost as) cool. Ever since our little make-out sesh, I have felt like sex on a stick. I think I just needed some validation or to break the ice or something. I feel like I have come back to life! I am happy, I feel like a hot babe, I suddenly have all this confidence. It's wonderful! I should be slutty more often. ;)
Which brings me to my New Year's Resolution:
The be sexier.....and slightly sluttier.
This is the BEST resolution ever. Because it's a way more fun way to diet and exercise. I have managed to fool my brain into thinking this is fun. I am fully embracing the Hot Girl Lifestyle. And it's so much fun! I went for a run yesterday -- over a mile! And it was great! My whole goal is to never be home -- Hot Girls are out busy doing stuff and meeting people. Oh crap. Hot Girls also go to bed by this time of night....unless they are making out. I should go, y'all.
2011 is gonna be a great year. I can feel it.
Sorry, I will take it down a notch.
But I have super awesome news!!!! And I need your help.
You see, there is (drumroll, please) Boy News. And true to form, I either messed up or I just completely do not understand the opposite sex. Still. * sigh * I know. But where would this blog be, if it weren't for my dating/hook-up antics?
New Year's Eve was just going to be another VB-sits-on-her-couch type of weekend, until I began to miss MJ and remembered that Mr. Bill was having a party. And what is New Year's for if not hanging out with old friends? So I told them I would come up. MJ informs me that Rocky (a member of The Rat Pack, if you remember those posts -- if you don't know what I am talking about, you should search for these posts in my archives) was coming to SC for New Year's Eve.
And he was bringing a buddy of his.
"Anyone I know?" I asked, ever-so-innocently.
"Nope, this one's a new one," she said.
Hmmm. He will probably be cute. Or at least fun. Definitely worthy of leg-shaving, I thought, as I packed a "boobie shirt" to wear when we went out for New Year's. [Side note: does anyone else call them "boobie shirts"? Or is it just me?]
Rocky's friends are always cute and fun. I was starting to get a little excited about this. So I went to bed kind of excited for my short drive the next day.
I arrived in Columbia just in time for a late lunch with MJ, Rocky and his friend, who I will dub NYE Guy. NYE Guy was cute, and extremely funny, as I soon found out. Later, I would discover that he is also kind of geeky (he likes to go to museums!) -- <3 Swoon <3
I started to get that feeling that it was going to be a great weekend. WOOT!
After eating, we went back to MJ's house and hung out for a bit before getting ready for Mr. Bill's party. I put on my boobie shirt and slapped on some extra eyeliner and heels. What? What was that? I felt kinda....hot. What a great feeling. It had been so long since I've felt that way. This feeling could best be described as the boring, depressed iceberg version of VB melting back into happy and exciting VB.
I was bringing sexy back.
So we head to Mr. Bill's. It was really great to see him, as well as a couple other people I knew. My only regret is that I didn't get a chance to talk to Mr. Bill as much as I wanted. So Mr. Bill, if you're reading this -- hi!!!! I spent most of my time at the party laughing with MJ, Rocky and NYE Guy, as well as a girl I will call "Other MJ" and her hilarious best friend who I will call Vietnam. We were our usual perverted selves, and there was a joke about empty beer bottles which even I cannot repeat. Hilarity and antics ensued, in other words.
Soon, it was almost time for the ball to drop. Rocky began asking everyone who they are kissing at midnight. I was sitting next to NYE Guy and when Rocky asked him, he turns to me and informs me that he wanted to kiss me. I giggled like a 12 year old. And so he did. And it was great.
Not long after, we all took the party to Art Bar, a fun bar in downtown Columbia. There was a masquerade theme happening there, so we had fun with all the masks laying around. NYE Guy and I kept sneaking away to dark corners to make out. Yay! So far, 2011 was rocking.
Fast forward to 4am, when I am still awake (!) and still in a good mood (!). But all good things must come to an end, and it was time to go home. So I drove MJ, Rocky, NYE Guy and Vietnam back to MJ's house. Shortly after that, NYE Guy and I are continuing our make-out session, and it was so much fun! He is so fun....sorry, I can't go into details.....no way to explain without being overly descriptive....ah, memories....where was I? Oh yes, so we didn't do anything R-rated or anything, but that was mostly due to the fact that it was 5am and we were exhausted! After messing around for a bit, he realized that we could just continue this the next night -- hooray for 3 day weekends!!! So we fell asleep....
...and picked up right where we left off in the morning when we woke up!
...but still did not *ahem* complete the transaction, if you get my drift. No worries. There was still another night to go! Yes. Best weekend ever.
He and I got up (at 1pm)and joined the others for food and then all 4 of us went to a museum. After that, we ate and then went back to MJ's to watch some movies. Soon, it was time for bed (YAY!) because the guys had to drive back to NYC the next day. I don't think I have ever been so excited to put on my jammies ever in my whole life. Especially with the hope that they would soon be removed by this yummy beefcake funny guy. So I get into bed while he's brushing his teeth. He climbs in and....
wants to spoon.
W.
T.
F.
Ok, fine, I can meet him halfway, I thought. I nestled in closer to him. Nothing. I made a little moan. Nada. Time for something a little more obvious, I thought. I grabbed his hand and put it on my boob. "Awesome," he said.
And then he promptly fell asleep.
Ok, yes, I know he was probably tired, but so was I. And since when do guys pick sleep over sex? This was so lame. When he started snoring in my ear, I gave up and fell asleep.
The guys left very early the next morning, so I went back to bed after saying goodbye in my sleepy haze. No smooching, even. This is so lame, I thought as I fell asleep.
When I got up, MJ and I decided to get breakfast and get a pedicure to debrief on the night. When I told her about my end of things, she tried her best to help me figure out a reason for my rejection, but we are both at a loss as to why he just wanted to spoon the 2nd night.
By the end of the day, he had friended me on facebook. 3 days later, I messaged him to thank him for posting all the great photos he took from that night. He replied right away and told me that he doesn't like messaging on FB and that I should text him. Cool! I thought. Maybe there is more?
I didn't have time to text him then, so I texted him the next night. I wish I could say that we had a super hawt flirty conversation, but no. We ended up talking about the weather. Why would you ask a girl to text you, only to talk about the weather??? Plus, it was one of those conversations where I felt like I was interviewing him. Hello! Conversations require questions from both parties! It's called "getting to know someone". So I took this to mean that he didn't want to get to know me. He's just not that into me. I get it. Fine. Closure. Done.
But then he texted me last night! To talk about beer! Who is this guy??? Argh!
Please feel free to weigh in with your opinions, because I am thinking of re-naming this guy Mr. Mixed Signals. I invited him and Rocky down here for St. Patty's Day. I guess we will see if they come down. Do you think he likes me but he's just bad at flirting? Should I be more obvious w/flirty texts??? Who am I kidding. This is classic Just Not That Into Me.
It's good that I am blogging right now, because it is preventing me from messaging him on FB. Must. Fight. Temptation. MJ thinks I am reacting like this because I haven't met anyone in a long time and I'm just overreacting. I don't know. All I know is that I was not done making out with him!!!! And he makes me laugh. A lot. *sigh*
Alright, here's the part that is (almost as) cool. Ever since our little make-out sesh, I have felt like sex on a stick. I think I just needed some validation or to break the ice or something. I feel like I have come back to life! I am happy, I feel like a hot babe, I suddenly have all this confidence. It's wonderful! I should be slutty more often. ;)
Which brings me to my New Year's Resolution:
The be sexier.....and slightly sluttier.
This is the BEST resolution ever. Because it's a way more fun way to diet and exercise. I have managed to fool my brain into thinking this is fun. I am fully embracing the Hot Girl Lifestyle. And it's so much fun! I went for a run yesterday -- over a mile! And it was great! My whole goal is to never be home -- Hot Girls are out busy doing stuff and meeting people. Oh crap. Hot Girls also go to bed by this time of night....unless they are making out. I should go, y'all.
2011 is gonna be a great year. I can feel it.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Overexposed
Time: Yesterday afternoon
Place: Victoria's Secret
Yours truly was taking advantage of their fall sale.
After rummaging around in their totally unorganized bins (SO irritating to look through! What happened to the tables organized by size???), I had an armful of bras to try on. I headed to the dressing room.
Bra after bra was disqualified: too big, too small, too complicated, made my boobs look funny, not supportive enough...etc.
But the last bra....well, that was a different story. It was supportive, easy to put on, relatively comfortable, fit well......and it was dead sexy. A black lace bra, hot enough to put the rest of my bras to shame.
"Hmmm...." I thought, with a sly little smile on my lips. "I know someone who might like to see this...."
And I whipped out my cell phone. I was going to take a little preview pic and send it to CN via the wonders of modern technology.
"Click!" said the camera.
"*Giggle*" said I.
"Send!" said the button.
"Message sent!" said the phone.
I got dressed again and went out to get in line to pay. As I was leaving the store, I realized it had been a few minutes, and I hadn't heard from CN. Not to flatter myself, but I was expecting SOME kind of a reaction.
"Hmmm...maybe his phone isn't equipped to receive pictures, because he must have gotten it..." I thought. "Right???"
Oh.
God.
I quickly fumbled around in my purse, frantically searching for my phone. I grabbed it, opened it up and began looking at my text message history.
"Oh-my-gawd-if-I-sent-that-to-the-wrong-person-I-will-die!!!!" I thought.
WHEW. I sent it to CN and only CN.
So why hadn't he replied or reacted in any way??? I mean, I'm not taking jetty shots in the dressing room for my health! Argh.
I got home and began baking some pumpkin bread for CN's dad (he's sick, remember). I glanced out my kitchen window -- CN's friend The Runner was over at his house. They were probably watching football. By the time I had the pumpkin bread in the oven, The Runner had left.
My phone beeped -- I had a new text message from CN.
"Well, it's about time," I thought.
I opened the message:
"The Runner liked your boobs."
!!!!!
I figured he was kidding, so I told him he was in big trouble for showing the pic to The Runner. A little later, CN came over to get the pumpkin bread, and he filled me in on what had happened.
"Yeah, um, The Runner was helping me get my tv cables all figured out, because we were playing video games, and he was actually sitting RIGHT next to me when you sent that pic to my phone. I took my phone out of my pocket when you sent the pic. So um....he saw it. Kinda...." CN trailed off.
*shock and disbelief on my part*
"WHAT????!!!" I shouted.
"Oh, and I know he saw it, because he took one look at it and asked me: 'Um, do you need me to leave so you can take care of that?' " CN continued.
Oh.
My.
Gawd.
I turned beet red. I will never be able to look The Runner in the eye again. I began wailing at my own bad judgement. Stupid, stupid, stupid VB. Dumb idea. Dumb, dumb, dumb!!!!
"It's ok! Don't be embarrassed! It's not a big deal! Just give me a heads up next time, ok?" CN said, trying to make me feel better. "But hey, would you care if I set my phone so that's the photo that comes up on my phone every time you call me?"
Oh for Pete's sake.....
Place: Victoria's Secret
Yours truly was taking advantage of their fall sale.
After rummaging around in their totally unorganized bins (SO irritating to look through! What happened to the tables organized by size???), I had an armful of bras to try on. I headed to the dressing room.
Bra after bra was disqualified: too big, too small, too complicated, made my boobs look funny, not supportive enough...etc.
But the last bra....well, that was a different story. It was supportive, easy to put on, relatively comfortable, fit well......and it was dead sexy. A black lace bra, hot enough to put the rest of my bras to shame.
"Hmmm...." I thought, with a sly little smile on my lips. "I know someone who might like to see this...."
And I whipped out my cell phone. I was going to take a little preview pic and send it to CN via the wonders of modern technology.
"Click!" said the camera.
"*Giggle*" said I.
"Send!" said the button.
"Message sent!" said the phone.
I got dressed again and went out to get in line to pay. As I was leaving the store, I realized it had been a few minutes, and I hadn't heard from CN. Not to flatter myself, but I was expecting SOME kind of a reaction.
"Hmmm...maybe his phone isn't equipped to receive pictures, because he must have gotten it..." I thought. "Right???"
Oh.
God.
I quickly fumbled around in my purse, frantically searching for my phone. I grabbed it, opened it up and began looking at my text message history.
"Oh-my-gawd-if-I-sent-that-to-the-wrong-person-I-will-die!!!!" I thought.
WHEW. I sent it to CN and only CN.
So why hadn't he replied or reacted in any way??? I mean, I'm not taking jetty shots in the dressing room for my health! Argh.
I got home and began baking some pumpkin bread for CN's dad (he's sick, remember). I glanced out my kitchen window -- CN's friend The Runner was over at his house. They were probably watching football. By the time I had the pumpkin bread in the oven, The Runner had left.
My phone beeped -- I had a new text message from CN.
"Well, it's about time," I thought.
I opened the message:
"The Runner liked your boobs."
!!!!!
I figured he was kidding, so I told him he was in big trouble for showing the pic to The Runner. A little later, CN came over to get the pumpkin bread, and he filled me in on what had happened.
"Yeah, um, The Runner was helping me get my tv cables all figured out, because we were playing video games, and he was actually sitting RIGHT next to me when you sent that pic to my phone. I took my phone out of my pocket when you sent the pic. So um....he saw it. Kinda...." CN trailed off.
*shock and disbelief on my part*
"WHAT????!!!" I shouted.
"Oh, and I know he saw it, because he took one look at it and asked me: 'Um, do you need me to leave so you can take care of that?' " CN continued.
Oh.
My.
Gawd.
I turned beet red. I will never be able to look The Runner in the eye again. I began wailing at my own bad judgement. Stupid, stupid, stupid VB. Dumb idea. Dumb, dumb, dumb!!!!
"It's ok! Don't be embarrassed! It's not a big deal! Just give me a heads up next time, ok?" CN said, trying to make me feel better. "But hey, would you care if I set my phone so that's the photo that comes up on my phone every time you call me?"
Oh for Pete's sake.....
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
NYC Trip, cont.
Um, I think this is part 4, but I'm not sure. The last installment is at MJ's though.
One thing MJ and I forgot to share was our token NYC Homeless Person moment. [Note: The taste of this post is in some question. I realize this isn't much different than most of my posts, but if you have a weak stomach or are easily offended, you might want to skip this part. Then again, if you are like that, why are you reading my blog? But I digress.]
MJ and I were waiting outside of a vitamin store while KT went inside to buy some dietary supplements or something. We were still drinking our coffee, I think, when a homeless woman walked up to us.
She had dried snot all over her face, and asked us--actually, it was more of a slurred request-- for money. It was pretty obvious she would use any donated cash for large quantities of alcohol or illegal drug purchases, so we said no. The homeless lady continued on down the street, veering all over the sidewalk. I went back to talking to MJ.
A few seconds later, MJ poked me in the arm, pointed in the direction of the homeless lady, and said, "Look!"
Dumbass that I am, I fell for it. I turned to look over my shoulder to see the homeless woman's ass. All of it. She was scratching it as she walked down the street. Then she yanked her pants back up.
After sarcastically thanking MJ for pointing that out to me, we continued on our way (I believe we were on our way to the Empire State Building??) with KT in tow. As we walked, MJ related a story that Rocky had told her about another homeless woman in NYC.
Apparently, Rocky had seen a homeless woman peeing in an alley or something, and he had been amazed at her technique. As most women know, peeing while standing up, for a woman, means you end up peeing all over yourself. So this little story will actually serve as a PSA for women without toilets everywhere. Keep this in mind for the next time you go camping, girls.
According to Rocky, this woman grabbed her ankles while peeing, causing her flow to project behind her in a totally horizontal way. Not only is horizontal pee apparently something amazing to behold, it's also a very effective way to avoid peeing on yourself.
I am not telling you this to gross you out. It plays a role in the Tale of Our Trip later on, I swear.
Alright, so where did MJ leave off? Oh yes, we met up with Rocky down near Ground Zero to give him his keys. Century 21 was a total zoo. Then we went to Canal Street for some shopping.
I was looking for this, or something similar (big, with a slouchy middle) only in a knock-off version. I found one, but the zipper didn't work. [Insert small cry here.]
After much hemming and hawing, I decided to get this one, since it looked like "me":
Ah, I'm a sucker for metallic leather....anyway, it's supposedly a Tod's knockoff, although I'm unable to find any image of an "official" Tod's bag looking even remotely similar to mine. In any case, it doesn't matter, because I love it.
Exhausted from shopping and walking all day, we headed back to Rocky's (via my favorite, the NYC Subway!!!) to meet up with him and his roommates for dinner. By the time the 6 of us were ready to go, we were starved. As we walked around Greenwich Village, searching for a good place to eat (translation: one on which we can all agree!), KT suddenly shrieked:
"PINKPUSSYCAT!!PINKPUSSYCAT!!PINKPUSSYCAT!!"
(See? I told you this post was in poor taste. Gah, I don't even want to think about the terms that will pop up on my statcounter now....*shudders*)
It turns out that KT loves this adult novelty store called The Pink Pussycat. We were saddened to see that it was closed, but we took a photo in front of it anyway. The guys stood and watched us get excited about this adult toy store. They were confused by our excitement over such a place. Huh? Were they serious? Men, lovers of all things sexual, didn't see what the big deal was about a sex store??? After some prying on our parts, it was determined that they did not realize there were items for them inside these places, and thought we liked the fuzzy bedroom slippers or something.
Um, not hardly. We decided to educate the guys about the joys of sex toy stores over dinner. They had almost no experience with sex toy/porn stores AT. ALL.
(File this under "Things I Did Not Know About Men"!)
Still starving, we needed to pick a place to eat. We decided to go to Tio Pepe's, a Spanish-Mexican place nearby. (Correct me if I'm wrong, MJ, but I think you can see our round table in the foreground of the first picture!) Everyone (but me, obviously) enjoyed their sangria and beer while we waited for our nacho appetizer.
Our $8 nacho appetizer.
Which had a grand total of 6 nachos on it.
"Good thing we're not hungry!" someone joked.
2 seconds later, those were gone. Feeling the pinch in my wallet at this point, I decided to order an appetizer for my meal to save money. "I'm on a diet, anyway, so it will be good if it's a smaller portion," I thought.
I got the most measly excuse for a quesadilla I've ever seen in my life. It was delicious, don't get me wrong. But the portion size? It wouldn't keep a mouse alive. Apparently in NYC, appetizers are far different from meals. They are called "tapas", which is Spanish for "you will starve". Unlike in SC, where "appetizer" means "a large, cheaper and possibly deep fried meal, disguised by a fancy name".
"Note to self," I thought.
To my left, MJ & KT were enjoying their gigantic, steaming bowls of $20 paella. "We're going to need to-go boxes," they told the waiter. "Dammit!" I thought. Oh well.
We headed back to Rocky's apartment to get ready to go out. Since there were 3 girls and only one bathroom, MJ decided to entertain herself with the xBox while I got ready. She found some strange Burger King game, and began playing it.
Little did she and I know that within a matter of seconds, we'd need many kleenex to sop up our tears of laughter. The game is a total riot. I made the mistake of watching her play while I brushed my teeth and almost snorted my Colgate. I wish I could show you all of the funny things MJ made The King do (like running around in tiny circles very VERY quickly), but I can't. So this video will have to suffice.
MJ and I want to buy an xBox now, JUST so we can play that game. I have rarely laughed so hard in my life.
Once we were all ready, we grabbed a cab and headed to....uh, Chinatown, I think. Or near it, anyway. All I know is, the street garbage was no longer magical to me. Now, it was magically revolting. I almost hurled twice, just walking around. I was so relieved when the guys led us into a bar.
Oh. Right back out again. Apparently, that bar was "dead". Kind of like the fish carcasses again surrounding me in the streets of Chinatown. I think the next bar was called Happy Endings. (I think that's the one with the bar in front and strip club in back???) Surprisingly, it was dead, too. Back outside. We did this about 3 more times until we found a packed place: Piano's. We immediately went upstairs, where there was a dj and a dancefloor.
Although it was too loud to do much talking, we still had a good time, dancing and goofing around. That is, until MJ said, "Uh oh. Those creepy guys are staring at us."
"I know," I replied.
"And we can't make eye contact with them, because then they will come over," she said. I nodded in agreement.
Luckily, Rocky showed up just as we were having this discussion. MJ informed him of our problem. Rocky turns to me and says, "Make out with me."
"Huh?" I asked.
"Just make out with me!" he said.
"Ok," I blurted, surprising myself at how easily I agreed to this idea. (Inner Slut???)
Unfortunately, my mouth made the decision without consulting my brain. My poor brain was caught totally off-guard and so was unable to send the "kiss the guy" command to my mouth. The only command it sent was, "Whaaaaaaa???" So instead of a mildly awkward and spontaneous make-out session between friends, it ended up being an extremely awkward, train wreck of a make-out session between friends. Like, I was 12 again, and didn't know what to do with my tongue. Or his tongue. And all I could manage to do was open my mouth and just sort of.....drool.
Oh. God.
I wanted a re-do, to be perfectly honest. I mean, usually I have a heads up and time to prepare. I swear to God, I know how to kiss! I'm a good kisser! That wasn't me!! That was....oh, God, I don't know what that was. That was possibly my worst, most awkward moment EVER. I was pretty much mortified.
But it worked. The creepy guys left. So, good call on Rocky's part. I guess I just needed a warm up or something.
It was one of those things where you'd give ANYTHING for it to be your little secret. But it's impossible, because you weren't the only person involved. And your friends saw it go down, too.
I had a hard time looking Rocky in the face for the rest of the trip, actually.
Ugh. Can we move on now? Thanks.
After partying there for a while, we left and went to another bar, next door to Rocky's apartment. MJ went to bed, but the rest of us stayed up and sang our group's unofficial theme song: "Don't Stop Believing" -- by Journey. Then Rocky and his roommate tried to find me a guy. They made some poor guy from Romania (I think?) talk to me. As if my night hadn't been awkward enough. He was cute, though, I gotta say. I think his name was Lothar or something equally unusual. Big, tall blonde guy. Mmmm. I like blondes. After some awkward small talk, he left. I turned to Rocky and his roommate.
"Thanks, guys, but I'm ok right now," I said.
"I'm just trying to help you get laid!" said Rocky.
"If you wanted to help me get some, you should have invited The Magician!" I said.
"Oh, he's in Maine," Rocky informed me.
*sigh*
Soon after that, we all went to bed. We had to be up early the next morning to catch a train. The NYC portion of our vacation was almost over. We were going to Vermont for the weekend, where we'd be meeting up with the rest of The Rat Pack.
Stay tuned, readers. Our next installment will use the following phrases:
"OMG! I'm a girl!"
"The Museum of Circles"
"road trip with Hitler"
"grab your ankles!"
and of course,
"Hey, Ahty, wanna go play some stickbawl?"
MJ, it's all you, girl.
One thing MJ and I forgot to share was our token NYC Homeless Person moment. [Note: The taste of this post is in some question. I realize this isn't much different than most of my posts, but if you have a weak stomach or are easily offended, you might want to skip this part. Then again, if you are like that, why are you reading my blog? But I digress.]
MJ and I were waiting outside of a vitamin store while KT went inside to buy some dietary supplements or something. We were still drinking our coffee, I think, when a homeless woman walked up to us.
She had dried snot all over her face, and asked us--actually, it was more of a slurred request-- for money. It was pretty obvious she would use any donated cash for large quantities of alcohol or illegal drug purchases, so we said no. The homeless lady continued on down the street, veering all over the sidewalk. I went back to talking to MJ.
A few seconds later, MJ poked me in the arm, pointed in the direction of the homeless lady, and said, "Look!"
Dumbass that I am, I fell for it. I turned to look over my shoulder to see the homeless woman's ass. All of it. She was scratching it as she walked down the street. Then she yanked her pants back up.
After sarcastically thanking MJ for pointing that out to me, we continued on our way (I believe we were on our way to the Empire State Building??) with KT in tow. As we walked, MJ related a story that Rocky had told her about another homeless woman in NYC.
Apparently, Rocky had seen a homeless woman peeing in an alley or something, and he had been amazed at her technique. As most women know, peeing while standing up, for a woman, means you end up peeing all over yourself. So this little story will actually serve as a PSA for women without toilets everywhere. Keep this in mind for the next time you go camping, girls.
According to Rocky, this woman grabbed her ankles while peeing, causing her flow to project behind her in a totally horizontal way. Not only is horizontal pee apparently something amazing to behold, it's also a very effective way to avoid peeing on yourself.
I am not telling you this to gross you out. It plays a role in the Tale of Our Trip later on, I swear.
Alright, so where did MJ leave off? Oh yes, we met up with Rocky down near Ground Zero to give him his keys. Century 21 was a total zoo. Then we went to Canal Street for some shopping.
I was looking for this, or something similar (big, with a slouchy middle) only in a knock-off version. I found one, but the zipper didn't work. [Insert small cry here.]
After much hemming and hawing, I decided to get this one, since it looked like "me":
Ah, I'm a sucker for metallic leather....anyway, it's supposedly a Tod's knockoff, although I'm unable to find any image of an "official" Tod's bag looking even remotely similar to mine. In any case, it doesn't matter, because I love it.
Exhausted from shopping and walking all day, we headed back to Rocky's (via my favorite, the NYC Subway!!!) to meet up with him and his roommates for dinner. By the time the 6 of us were ready to go, we were starved. As we walked around Greenwich Village, searching for a good place to eat (translation: one on which we can all agree!), KT suddenly shrieked:
"PINKPUSSYCAT!!PINKPUSSYCAT!!PINKPUSSYCAT!!"
(See? I told you this post was in poor taste. Gah, I don't even want to think about the terms that will pop up on my statcounter now....*shudders*)
It turns out that KT loves this adult novelty store called The Pink Pussycat. We were saddened to see that it was closed, but we took a photo in front of it anyway. The guys stood and watched us get excited about this adult toy store. They were confused by our excitement over such a place. Huh? Were they serious? Men, lovers of all things sexual, didn't see what the big deal was about a sex store??? After some prying on our parts, it was determined that they did not realize there were items for them inside these places, and thought we liked the fuzzy bedroom slippers or something.
Um, not hardly. We decided to educate the guys about the joys of sex toy stores over dinner. They had almost no experience with sex toy/porn stores AT. ALL.
(File this under "Things I Did Not Know About Men"!)
Still starving, we needed to pick a place to eat. We decided to go to Tio Pepe's, a Spanish-Mexican place nearby. (Correct me if I'm wrong, MJ, but I think you can see our round table in the foreground of the first picture!) Everyone (but me, obviously) enjoyed their sangria and beer while we waited for our nacho appetizer.
Our $8 nacho appetizer.
Which had a grand total of 6 nachos on it.
"Good thing we're not hungry!" someone joked.
2 seconds later, those were gone. Feeling the pinch in my wallet at this point, I decided to order an appetizer for my meal to save money. "I'm on a diet, anyway, so it will be good if it's a smaller portion," I thought.
I got the most measly excuse for a quesadilla I've ever seen in my life. It was delicious, don't get me wrong. But the portion size? It wouldn't keep a mouse alive. Apparently in NYC, appetizers are far different from meals. They are called "tapas", which is Spanish for "you will starve". Unlike in SC, where "appetizer" means "a large, cheaper and possibly deep fried meal, disguised by a fancy name".
"Note to self," I thought.
To my left, MJ & KT were enjoying their gigantic, steaming bowls of $20 paella. "We're going to need to-go boxes," they told the waiter. "Dammit!" I thought. Oh well.
We headed back to Rocky's apartment to get ready to go out. Since there were 3 girls and only one bathroom, MJ decided to entertain herself with the xBox while I got ready. She found some strange Burger King game, and began playing it.
Little did she and I know that within a matter of seconds, we'd need many kleenex to sop up our tears of laughter. The game is a total riot. I made the mistake of watching her play while I brushed my teeth and almost snorted my Colgate. I wish I could show you all of the funny things MJ made The King do (like running around in tiny circles very VERY quickly), but I can't. So this video will have to suffice.
MJ and I want to buy an xBox now, JUST so we can play that game. I have rarely laughed so hard in my life.
Once we were all ready, we grabbed a cab and headed to....uh, Chinatown, I think. Or near it, anyway. All I know is, the street garbage was no longer magical to me. Now, it was magically revolting. I almost hurled twice, just walking around. I was so relieved when the guys led us into a bar.
Oh. Right back out again. Apparently, that bar was "dead". Kind of like the fish carcasses again surrounding me in the streets of Chinatown. I think the next bar was called Happy Endings. (I think that's the one with the bar in front and strip club in back???) Surprisingly, it was dead, too. Back outside. We did this about 3 more times until we found a packed place: Piano's. We immediately went upstairs, where there was a dj and a dancefloor.
Although it was too loud to do much talking, we still had a good time, dancing and goofing around. That is, until MJ said, "Uh oh. Those creepy guys are staring at us."
"I know," I replied.
"And we can't make eye contact with them, because then they will come over," she said. I nodded in agreement.
Luckily, Rocky showed up just as we were having this discussion. MJ informed him of our problem. Rocky turns to me and says, "Make out with me."
"Huh?" I asked.
"Just make out with me!" he said.
"Ok," I blurted, surprising myself at how easily I agreed to this idea. (Inner Slut???)
Unfortunately, my mouth made the decision without consulting my brain. My poor brain was caught totally off-guard and so was unable to send the "kiss the guy" command to my mouth. The only command it sent was, "Whaaaaaaa???" So instead of a mildly awkward and spontaneous make-out session between friends, it ended up being an extremely awkward, train wreck of a make-out session between friends. Like, I was 12 again, and didn't know what to do with my tongue. Or his tongue. And all I could manage to do was open my mouth and just sort of.....drool.
Oh. God.
I wanted a re-do, to be perfectly honest. I mean, usually I have a heads up and time to prepare. I swear to God, I know how to kiss! I'm a good kisser! That wasn't me!! That was....oh, God, I don't know what that was. That was possibly my worst, most awkward moment EVER. I was pretty much mortified.
But it worked. The creepy guys left. So, good call on Rocky's part. I guess I just needed a warm up or something.
It was one of those things where you'd give ANYTHING for it to be your little secret. But it's impossible, because you weren't the only person involved. And your friends saw it go down, too.
I had a hard time looking Rocky in the face for the rest of the trip, actually.
Ugh. Can we move on now? Thanks.
After partying there for a while, we left and went to another bar, next door to Rocky's apartment. MJ went to bed, but the rest of us stayed up and sang our group's unofficial theme song: "Don't Stop Believing" -- by Journey. Then Rocky and his roommate tried to find me a guy. They made some poor guy from Romania (I think?) talk to me. As if my night hadn't been awkward enough. He was cute, though, I gotta say. I think his name was Lothar or something equally unusual. Big, tall blonde guy. Mmmm. I like blondes. After some awkward small talk, he left. I turned to Rocky and his roommate.
"Thanks, guys, but I'm ok right now," I said.
"I'm just trying to help you get laid!" said Rocky.
"If you wanted to help me get some, you should have invited The Magician!" I said.
"Oh, he's in Maine," Rocky informed me.
*sigh*
Soon after that, we all went to bed. We had to be up early the next morning to catch a train. The NYC portion of our vacation was almost over. We were going to Vermont for the weekend, where we'd be meeting up with the rest of The Rat Pack.
Stay tuned, readers. Our next installment will use the following phrases:
"OMG! I'm a girl!"
"The Museum of Circles"
"road trip with Hitler"
"grab your ankles!"
and of course,
"Hey, Ahty, wanna go play some stickbawl?"
MJ, it's all you, girl.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Conversations with My Brain
I promise I'm alive!
It's just that aside from working on my Big Secret Project, I don't have a lot going on right now. And I really need a break from the Southern Culture posts. I will do more, but for now, I need to stop. It takes me so long to assemble each one of those posts -- being the geeky librarian that I am, I have to do research before posting them.
And it gets tiring. Sometimes you just want to log in and start writing, you know?
After much writing, rambling, editing, deleting and small-decision-making (I have written and re-written this post about 3 times today), I have decided to devote this post to introducing you to a new guy in VB World.
Don't get excited.
Good grief, how long have you been reading me? You should know better than to EVER get excited when I talk about guys on here. Calm down. Nothing happened. Nothing EVER happens. This will probably be the only time I even mention this guy. This post is only being written so that you can laugh at me. I'm in a self-deprecating mood today. Trust me, if something cool happened, the post title would tell you. I promise. Can I continue, please? Are we all calm now? Ok.
Allow me to introduce a new character: Cute Neighbor.
Not only do I have Hot Neighbor, I have Cute Neighbor. Oh yes, I am one lucky girl. 2 hotties on my street, and I have yet to spend more than 5 minutes with either one of them. Awesome. I think I can officially give Bridget Jones a run for her money now.
While most girls would have either dated, screwed or at least knocked back a few beers with neighborhood hotties at this point, I am relegated to spying on both of them through my window blinds, wondering what they are doing, where they are going, and why they are not naked in my bedroom. Just another normal day in VB World. My abilities astound me sometimes. I should get in touch with Cosmo. They could write an article inspired by me: "How to be Totally Pathetic".
Cute Neighbor lives directly across the street from me. When I moved in, my real estate agent informed me that she had grown up with him. Since I hadn't laid eyes on him yet, I didn't pump her for info. But I don't remember her saying anything bad. Perhaps I should ask her about him....hmmmm....
This is what I have observed (yes, through my window blinds) so far: He drives a Jeep, plays golf, works out and plays the drums. He never ever has people over, which seems odd to me, but he does go out on weekends sometimes. He dresses normally. He likes to wash his car and takes good care of his lawn. He can change his own oil, which is major points in my book.
He also has gorgeous eyes. And has a kind of geeky vibe going on. Very pale skin. Gives it away every time. Luckily, the older I get, the better geeky guys sound to me.
How do I know he has gorgeous eyes? Why, because I brought him some cookies one day, about 3 weeks ago. When I get bored, I bake. And since I'm on a diet, I can never keep the stuff in the house. So I give it away to the first person I see. But this was a lazy Sunday, and I didn't have any plans on seeing my friends. So I decided to play Nice Neighbor and go door-to-door, handing out cookies to my neighbors. That's when I met Cute Neighbor. I had (obviously) seen him around, but had never gotten a good look at him. Which meant he had never gotten a good look at me, either. Hmmm. How 'bout that.....
I changed into a jean skirt, reapplied my lip gloss, sprayed on some body spray and began playing Neighborhood Girl Scout.
Eventually, I walked over to his house, noticed how nice and green his yard is (far, far different than mine!) and knocked. He opened the door, and I noticed, in true "guy form", he had apparently never decorated anything. He was a little taller than me, had dark hair and these incredible green eyes. Cool.
"Hi, I'm Virginia, from across the street," I said, smiling.
"Hi, I'm Cute Neighbor," he said, also smiling. He shook my hand. Nice and firm. This is good.
I explained why I was knocking on his door, and he eagerly grabbed 3 cookies and said thank you. As we talked, he ate one of the cookies--he couldn't seem to wait. "Note to Self," I thought. "He is apparently in desperate need of homemade baked goods." We talked about his yard, our neighborhood and how he had meant to meet more of his neighbors. He mentioned that because of work, he has crazy hours. But he didn't say what he did for a living, and I always feel it's rude to ask people what they do. Especially when I'm a single girl talking to a (presumably) single guy. So I don't know what he does. But he wears a suit sometimes. That's all I know.
"Hey, you wanna come in?" he said. That's when I got "The Look". You know what I'm talking about, ladies. That look that guys give you when they are checking you out, but they are trying to hide that fact from you. The look that lets you know they like what they're seeing. It's very fleeting, but it's quite an ego booster, I must say. I don't think guys even realize they do it. It's that subtle. Yet unmistakable.
This momentary expression on his face sent my brain, and all of its parts, into a tizzy.
The Diet/Exercise part of my brain said:
"Hey, those trips to the gym are really paying off! Sweet! Maybe I will start getting this look all the time. If I doubled up on my workouts, at this rate...."
Horny interrupted and said:
"Oooh! Yes! Go inside! Maybe you can make out on his couch! Go for it, VB!"
Single Girl said:
"Don't do it! Play hard to get! Tell him you have a date or something. This is too easy. Make him work for it a little more. Ooooh. Nice eyes. Keep talking to him so you can look in his eyes some more. Just make up something. Keep talking. Maybe he'll ask you out. Hey, it looks like he's got decent arms, too. Say something funny so he will fall in love with you instantly. He's probably already intrigued from the cookies. Keeeeeeeep talking........."
Horny said: "Yeah! Nice eyes! Jump his bones! Like he's gonna protest!"
Cynical said:
"This guy just wants more cookies. He's greedy. He thinks that if he can get you inside, you will offer him more cookies."
"Hell yeah, she's gonna offer up some cookies!" Horny said.
"He's got a girlfriend and he's just going to cheat on her right now, with you, because he's got the chance. Men are assholes, and he's no different," warned Bitter.
"No, no, no. He's obviously either a porn addict or some Dungeons & Dragons geek. Look at that pale, transparent skin. He hasn't stepped away from his X-box or computer monitor in 4 months. No wonder no one ever comes to see him. All his friends are online," said Pessimistically Paranoid.
"Did you say 'porn'?" Horny asked.
"But he seems normal. And total super geeks don't drive Jeeps or play the drums. He's probably super cool. I bet you two have lots in common. You should have a lasagna supper and invite him over. Come on, you've been meaning to have a lasagna dinner for a while. This is a great opportunity!" said Stupidly Optimistic.
Then Overactive Imagination said:
"No.........wait. Going into a seemingly-normal stranger's house? That's how girls disappear. Everyone thought Ted Bundy was normal, too. You don't know him. Maybe he buries women in his backyard. You know, he never has people over. It all makes sense now. His backyard is probably lumpy from all the graves. That's why no one ever comes to his house. His secret would be revealed. Can't you picture the headlines now? Cookie-bearing Woman Disappears: Neighborhood Shocked, Police Want to Question Male Neighbor. And then, two weeks later: Man Buried Local Women in Backyard."
And then Reality, which luckily took over after hearing what Overactive had to say, said out loud:
"Oh, I'd love to, but I can't. I'm actually on my way out."
Which was totally true. I had a gym class to catch. I said goodbye and left my house 5 minutes later.
True to form, he and I haven't spoken a word since. Almost Girl strikes again! The girl who gets checked out sometimes, but never asked out. If this keeps up, I might have to change the name of this blog. You think I'm kidding.
So, what do you think? Did I screw up? Should I have gone into his house? Did he think I was turning him down? Can I remedy the situation? I feel I made the first move and now it's his turn. Perhaps I'm being too stubborn or old-fashioned. Maybe I should make more cookies.......he seemed to like them the first time. Am I just totally pathetic? Maybe I didn't get The Look. Maybe I got an Almost Look. Or maybe he just had indigestion? Or is he maybe thinking along the lines of "don't dig in your own backyard", so to speak?
Arg. I would give anything to hear the conversations he has with his brain. I wonder how it would go...
It's just that aside from working on my Big Secret Project, I don't have a lot going on right now. And I really need a break from the Southern Culture posts. I will do more, but for now, I need to stop. It takes me so long to assemble each one of those posts -- being the geeky librarian that I am, I have to do research before posting them.
And it gets tiring. Sometimes you just want to log in and start writing, you know?
After much writing, rambling, editing, deleting and small-decision-making (I have written and re-written this post about 3 times today), I have decided to devote this post to introducing you to a new guy in VB World.
Don't get excited.
Good grief, how long have you been reading me? You should know better than to EVER get excited when I talk about guys on here. Calm down. Nothing happened. Nothing EVER happens. This will probably be the only time I even mention this guy. This post is only being written so that you can laugh at me. I'm in a self-deprecating mood today. Trust me, if something cool happened, the post title would tell you. I promise. Can I continue, please? Are we all calm now? Ok.
Allow me to introduce a new character: Cute Neighbor.
Not only do I have Hot Neighbor, I have Cute Neighbor. Oh yes, I am one lucky girl. 2 hotties on my street, and I have yet to spend more than 5 minutes with either one of them. Awesome. I think I can officially give Bridget Jones a run for her money now.
While most girls would have either dated, screwed or at least knocked back a few beers with neighborhood hotties at this point, I am relegated to spying on both of them through my window blinds, wondering what they are doing, where they are going, and why they are not naked in my bedroom. Just another normal day in VB World. My abilities astound me sometimes. I should get in touch with Cosmo. They could write an article inspired by me: "How to be Totally Pathetic".
Cute Neighbor lives directly across the street from me. When I moved in, my real estate agent informed me that she had grown up with him. Since I hadn't laid eyes on him yet, I didn't pump her for info. But I don't remember her saying anything bad. Perhaps I should ask her about him....hmmmm....
This is what I have observed (yes, through my window blinds) so far: He drives a Jeep, plays golf, works out and plays the drums. He never ever has people over, which seems odd to me, but he does go out on weekends sometimes. He dresses normally. He likes to wash his car and takes good care of his lawn. He can change his own oil, which is major points in my book.
He also has gorgeous eyes. And has a kind of geeky vibe going on. Very pale skin. Gives it away every time. Luckily, the older I get, the better geeky guys sound to me.
How do I know he has gorgeous eyes? Why, because I brought him some cookies one day, about 3 weeks ago. When I get bored, I bake. And since I'm on a diet, I can never keep the stuff in the house. So I give it away to the first person I see. But this was a lazy Sunday, and I didn't have any plans on seeing my friends. So I decided to play Nice Neighbor and go door-to-door, handing out cookies to my neighbors. That's when I met Cute Neighbor. I had (obviously) seen him around, but had never gotten a good look at him. Which meant he had never gotten a good look at me, either. Hmmm. How 'bout that.....
I changed into a jean skirt, reapplied my lip gloss, sprayed on some body spray and began playing Neighborhood Girl Scout.
Eventually, I walked over to his house, noticed how nice and green his yard is (far, far different than mine!) and knocked. He opened the door, and I noticed, in true "guy form", he had apparently never decorated anything. He was a little taller than me, had dark hair and these incredible green eyes. Cool.
"Hi, I'm Virginia, from across the street," I said, smiling.
"Hi, I'm Cute Neighbor," he said, also smiling. He shook my hand. Nice and firm. This is good.
I explained why I was knocking on his door, and he eagerly grabbed 3 cookies and said thank you. As we talked, he ate one of the cookies--he couldn't seem to wait. "Note to Self," I thought. "He is apparently in desperate need of homemade baked goods." We talked about his yard, our neighborhood and how he had meant to meet more of his neighbors. He mentioned that because of work, he has crazy hours. But he didn't say what he did for a living, and I always feel it's rude to ask people what they do. Especially when I'm a single girl talking to a (presumably) single guy. So I don't know what he does. But he wears a suit sometimes. That's all I know.
"Hey, you wanna come in?" he said. That's when I got "The Look". You know what I'm talking about, ladies. That look that guys give you when they are checking you out, but they are trying to hide that fact from you. The look that lets you know they like what they're seeing. It's very fleeting, but it's quite an ego booster, I must say. I don't think guys even realize they do it. It's that subtle. Yet unmistakable.
This momentary expression on his face sent my brain, and all of its parts, into a tizzy.
The Diet/Exercise part of my brain said:
"Hey, those trips to the gym are really paying off! Sweet! Maybe I will start getting this look all the time. If I doubled up on my workouts, at this rate...."
Horny interrupted and said:
"Oooh! Yes! Go inside! Maybe you can make out on his couch! Go for it, VB!"
Single Girl said:
"Don't do it! Play hard to get! Tell him you have a date or something. This is too easy. Make him work for it a little more. Ooooh. Nice eyes. Keep talking to him so you can look in his eyes some more. Just make up something. Keep talking. Maybe he'll ask you out. Hey, it looks like he's got decent arms, too. Say something funny so he will fall in love with you instantly. He's probably already intrigued from the cookies. Keeeeeeeep talking........."
Horny said: "Yeah! Nice eyes! Jump his bones! Like he's gonna protest!"
Cynical said:
"This guy just wants more cookies. He's greedy. He thinks that if he can get you inside, you will offer him more cookies."
"Hell yeah, she's gonna offer up some cookies!" Horny said.
"He's got a girlfriend and he's just going to cheat on her right now, with you, because he's got the chance. Men are assholes, and he's no different," warned Bitter.
"No, no, no. He's obviously either a porn addict or some Dungeons & Dragons geek. Look at that pale, transparent skin. He hasn't stepped away from his X-box or computer monitor in 4 months. No wonder no one ever comes to see him. All his friends are online," said Pessimistically Paranoid.
"Did you say 'porn'?" Horny asked.
"But he seems normal. And total super geeks don't drive Jeeps or play the drums. He's probably super cool. I bet you two have lots in common. You should have a lasagna supper and invite him over. Come on, you've been meaning to have a lasagna dinner for a while. This is a great opportunity!" said Stupidly Optimistic.
Then Overactive Imagination said:
"No.........wait. Going into a seemingly-normal stranger's house? That's how girls disappear. Everyone thought Ted Bundy was normal, too. You don't know him. Maybe he buries women in his backyard. You know, he never has people over. It all makes sense now. His backyard is probably lumpy from all the graves. That's why no one ever comes to his house. His secret would be revealed. Can't you picture the headlines now? Cookie-bearing Woman Disappears: Neighborhood Shocked, Police Want to Question Male Neighbor. And then, two weeks later: Man Buried Local Women in Backyard."
And then Reality, which luckily took over after hearing what Overactive had to say, said out loud:
"Oh, I'd love to, but I can't. I'm actually on my way out."
Which was totally true. I had a gym class to catch. I said goodbye and left my house 5 minutes later.
True to form, he and I haven't spoken a word since. Almost Girl strikes again! The girl who gets checked out sometimes, but never asked out. If this keeps up, I might have to change the name of this blog. You think I'm kidding.
So, what do you think? Did I screw up? Should I have gone into his house? Did he think I was turning him down? Can I remedy the situation? I feel I made the first move and now it's his turn. Perhaps I'm being too stubborn or old-fashioned. Maybe I should make more cookies.......he seemed to like them the first time. Am I just totally pathetic? Maybe I didn't get The Look. Maybe I got an Almost Look. Or maybe he just had indigestion? Or is he maybe thinking along the lines of "don't dig in your own backyard", so to speak?
Arg. I would give anything to hear the conversations he has with his brain. I wonder how it would go...
Monday, April 02, 2007
Spring Fling
Ok, so I have to tell you about my weekend. It was fantastic. And I have insomnia right now, so I might as well just type up a long-ass post. (I will explain why I have insomnia maybe another time...) This post is going to be hard to write, because I'm going to want to give out very personal and juicy details....which, I can't do. So I will just have to allude to things...
Oh, and there is a theme song for this weekend in Charleston. I don't know why (maybe MJ can enlighten me?), but we all kept singing Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" about 400 times at the top of our lungs. At some point, MJ and one of the guys was running down the beach, punching the air while singing it. Who knows. I wasn't there to see it. But that is the soundtrack to this weekend I'm about to tell you about.
MJ and KT are from New York, so they have a group of guy friends who live up there, either in or near NYC. One of them, a textbook "New Yawkah" (a member of the Rat Pack, who visited us last October. I will dub him Rocky) was invited to a wedding in Isle of Palms, one of the swankier parts of Charleston, SC. He took MJ as his date. They invited me and KT to go with them.
Rocky brought his friend (and coworker) The Magician with him. But more about him in a minute... ;)
So we booked an oceanfront hotel room on Isle of Palms, MJ and KT picked up the guys at the Charlotte airport, everyone came to my house to pick me up, and then we headed to Charleston on Friday afternoon. We stopped for lunch on the way and got to Charleston at about 4pm. Our room was nice, but small. And 5 people sharing one small bathroom was a big pain in the ass. But otherwise, it was great being right on the beach. MJ definitely picked a good hotel.
Friday night, MJ and Rocky went to the wedding. While they were there, KT, The Magician and I went to dinner at this WONDERFUL restaurant called Pearlz. I highly recommend it. It's in downtown Charleston. I had this peppercorn tilapia that melted in my mouth, and everyone else's food was great, too. Great service, nice ambiance. (Looking it up just now on Google, I learned it's owned by the same company that owns Liberty's, one of my favorite Columbia restaurants. Go figure.)
The Magician and I were hitting it off. I thought he was cute, right away. Definitely a spark. Actually, right when i was being introduced and shook his hand, I thought, "Ok, I think this is going to be a good weekend!"
Oh Jeez. I just realized Rocky might read MJ's blog, which means he might read this blog...oh dear. Ok, I am going to have to seriously edit this....or get reassurance from MJ that Rocky doesn't read these.
Ok, the 411 on The Magician: he's my age (28), about 6'2", lean without being very muscular. He's got light brown hair and hazel eyes. he's half Native American and half Scottish -- yeah, kind of an interesting combination, I thought. To be honest, I don't think I've ever met anyone who is more than a sprinkle Native American, so it was kind of cool. He can even say some phrases in his people's language. He is a "Wall Street Warrior"-- he works in some big fancy building, doing investment stuff all day. (To my NYC readers-- I am curious -- are there stereotypes about Wall Steeters? Please let me know. I'm sure I would be amused.) He works near where the Twin Towers were, in a building on the 43rd floor. His family is big like mine. He's very funny, smart and charming. Not really my type in some ways, but at the same time, totally my type. (I know, it makes no sense....then again, some of the best things in life make no sense.)
And remember my dry spell, people.
So i was pretty much doomed. Totally powerless, actually.
After dinner, the three of us went to some bars (Southend Brewery...shoot. I can't remember where else...there's a bar I'm forgetting...).
Anyway, The Magician has a guy pal who lives in Charleston, so he and his wife met up with us at Wet Willy's. They are the nicest couple. We were all chatting in the middle of the bar. Eventually, my feet started to hurt, so I went to go sit down in a corner. The Magician went with me.
....and that's when we started making out like teenagers in the middle of Wet Willy's. There is some debate over who kissed who first, but just for the record, it was his idea. He started it.
OMG y'all. It's a good thing I was out of town, because making out in a bar is NOT my thing at ALL. If I had been in Columbia, my face would have been beet red!!! I kept stopping him, saying, "No! I do not make out in bars! I am not that kind of girl! You have to stop!"
But I only sort of half-way meant it, because he is The Greatest Kisser in the World.
Yeah. I was totally powerless. Putty in his hands.
Oh boy.
Of course, KT, being KT, took pictures of us sucking face in a crowded bar. Awesome. I didn't realize until it was too late. If she ever puts them on the Internet, I will die. LOL
By this point, everyone was pretty much drunk (except me, obviously), so we went back to the hotel.
Meanwhile, MJ and Rocky had gotten totally shitfaced at the wedding and passed out at the hotel before they could even meet up with us. Dorks. Plus, they were each hogging a bed. This sort of messed up our plans (nudge nudge). KT hopped in with MJ. The Magician and I tried to move Rocky, but he got kind of pissed when we woke him up. So he and I decided to take a walk on the beach instead of going to sleep.
Yeah. See where this is going? No, not there. Who likes sand up their butt? Not me. Where was I? Oh yes.
Full moon, light breeze, empty beach...we ended up making out again (Seriously, who is this girl, and where is VB??? It's like the college version of myself went to Charleston this weekend.)....and we got so into making out that we ended up falling over.......and laughing our asses off......and getting sand all over us....
Ok. So then we decided it was too cold, so we went back inside. We obviously didn't want to move Rocky, so we inflated the air mattress and..........well, if this was a movie, this is where the screen would fade to black.
So, why am I referring to him as The Magician? This is why. I swear, y'all, it was like he could read my mind -- I would be thinking, "Gee, I wish he would..." and then he would do it. What guy has that ability??? He not only had the ability to read my mind, but he also has the ability to make things disappear. [Ok, that last line is not as perverted as it sounds. But I am not getting into details. I am seriously editing myself, here, people, because I am trying to keep something in my life private. You can use your imagination. We're all adults. We've all been there. If you are really that nosy or dense, just email me. Sheesh. But if it's any consolation, it's really really hard for me not to spill the juicy details. Don't you love that I have a big mouth when it comes to my personal life?]
I can't believe I did that. I haven't hooked up* in a hotel room full of sleeping people since college (but that's another story). Kind of a jerky move, I know. But they were all asleep. And trust me, if you had been in my position, you would have done the same thing. I don't think wild, attacking tigers could have stopped me.
*Remember, my definition of "hooking up" is: anything more than kissing. Which may or may not involve a run around the bases. So you will just have to wonder what I mean. Sorry.
The next morning, Rocky, MJ and KT went to breakfast at 10am. Since The Magician and I had stayed up a little later than them (AHEM), we slept in. Of course, as they were getting ready, KT spilled the beans and they all made fun of us.....oh well. We deserved it.
He and I got up about an hour later, went to lunch, had a good time. Not awkward at all. We went back to the hotel room just as I got a text message from KT: they were all at the beach.
We had the hotel room to ourselves.
Do the math.
Then he and I joined them at the beach, where we all got sunburned, drank beer and ate corn dogs and ice cream.
We went back to the room around 5ish, napped and showered, and then went out again. This time, we went to A.W. Shuck's for dinner, where we had THE WORST SERVICE I've ever had in my life. A quick run-down:
1. Our waitress was rude and told us when SHE was ready to take our order (which was about a half an hour after we got there) -- she pretty much copped an attitude with us the whole time and never removed dirty dishes unless we flagged her down.
2. Three tables (including us) asked restaurant employees to turn off the hurricane-level arctic fan, but no one EVER DID.
3. The guys ordered martinis. They came out with MAYBE 2 sips in them--a total joke. It turns out the bartender was basically giving them each one shot of vodka. And that's all. Which, if you know about martinis, isn't even how you make them. We had to talk to FOUR people (3 of whom argued with us) before getting the drinks fixed. And they still charged us for them anyway.
4. Did I mention it took us 2 and 1/2 hours to get our food? Yeah. Because the drink fiasco took up 45 minutes. This didn't bother me so much as Rocky, so I am including this in the list on his behalf.
5. They messed up splitting our bill, but it didn't really matter, because it all evened out in the end.
Our bill was about $140 and we left $4. Two of us stiffed her. We ALL left notes for her/managers on our credit card slips. NEVER EAT AT THIS PLACE! It was horrible!! The two tables on either side of us had problems, too. We all revolted.
After dinner, we put it all behind us and got drunk again, this time with MJ and Rocky with us. At one point, looking for our next bar, Rocky saw some very tall steps and did a fantastic Rocky impression (hence his name), as we watched and laughed from across the street. We had a great time, but MJ and KT were both sick by this point, so they left early. (MJ has strep throat and KT has a sinus infection/bronchitis. They were miserable for at least half the weekend. But they were troupers. I'll give them that.) I hung out with Rocky and The Magician until the bars closed, having a blast and (again) making out with The Magician while Rocky hit on Charleston girls. He ended up meeting 3 people (a guy and his girlfriend, and another girl who talked like Minnie Mouse) who were also staying at Isle of Palms. We decided to all get a cab together to save money. Ok, Rocky and the people worked it out. The Magician and I were busy sucking face again.
Because it was the Bridge Run weekend, we could NOT find a cab to save our lives. After 45 minutes, we flagged down one. And by "flagged down", I mean that 7 of us surrounded the cab and squished into it before the cabbie could protest. Then we demanded that the cabbie take us to our hotels. He didn't want to do it because he wasn't supposed to have 7 people in his cab. He could get a fine and there were a lot of cops out. Also, he had "just gotten out of jail", which I didn't buy.
We refused to budge, out of sheer desperation. The guy who was with us was SHITFACED, and so he just started handing the cabbie money. "There, that should get us at least across the bridge," he slurred as he handed the cabbie $100.
We were in a cab with Mr. Moneybags! Sweet!
The cabbie told us to be quiet as he accepted the cash. Of course, at 2am, 7 drunk people cannot be quiet, so they all proceeded to talk loudly and at the same time, which made me giggle. It was a very entertaining cab ride.
Yeah, so we got a free cab ride from downtown to Isle of Palms, which is about a 30 minute ride. All we had to do was tip the cabbie. Suh-weet!
Everyone went to sleep. The Magician and I stayed up (Ok, seriously, are you even surprised at this point?). Unfortunately, we were pretty tired at this point, so we kept falling asleep mid-smooch and finally gave up after a while.
The next morning, MJ felt like crap, so she left to go to the doctor's right away. The rest of us took our time going back to Columbia, stopping for breakfast at IHOP. I continued to tease The Magician by asking him annoying questions about his heritage: Did he live in a teepee on top of a skyscraper? Does he do the rain dance to make the stocks go up? etc. On the way home, the guys answered my 632 questions about NYC. They want us to come visit them and told me I would love it. (My conclusion after hearing what they told me? I am terrified of NYC!! The people up north are very blunt and I know someone would make me cry by the end of the first day!)
Since their flight didn't leave Charlotte until 8pm, we hung out at MJ and KT's house for a while. We went to lunch and shopped. But then, I had to go run some errands, so I didn't go with them to the airport. We hugged good bye, and The Magician told me he wants me to come visit SOON. (He emphasized the 'soon' part. Awww...) KT told me later that on the way to the airport, Rocky kept telling The Magician to marry me, and The Magician said I was a great girl and would make a great girlfriend.
Awww!
Earlier today I asked KT, "Hey, you didn't tell him any of the juicy details I told you, did you? Like, about what I said?" (KT got more details than y'all. Sorry.)
She told me that The Magician asked her the same thing on the way to the airport. How funny! Although KT says she told me everything he said, I guess I will never know....
He didn't ask for my phone number. Which I have mixed feelings about. I'd like to talk to him, but at the same time, let's call it what it really was: a Spring Fling. I mean, people don't start dating in this situation. He lives in NYC, for Pete's sake. It's best to just let it be.
And he doesn't have a myspace page and it's KILLING ME.
Sorry so long, but I seriously had so much fun!!!
My next post is going to be good, too. You see, I didn't even mention the weird dreams I've been having, Toby's trip to the vet, the news about my roommate, or the Hot Neighbor update, now did I?
Tee hee. I'll leave you hanging for now....
Oh, and there is a theme song for this weekend in Charleston. I don't know why (maybe MJ can enlighten me?), but we all kept singing Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" about 400 times at the top of our lungs. At some point, MJ and one of the guys was running down the beach, punching the air while singing it. Who knows. I wasn't there to see it. But that is the soundtrack to this weekend I'm about to tell you about.
MJ and KT are from New York, so they have a group of guy friends who live up there, either in or near NYC. One of them, a textbook "New Yawkah" (a member of the Rat Pack, who visited us last October. I will dub him Rocky) was invited to a wedding in Isle of Palms, one of the swankier parts of Charleston, SC. He took MJ as his date. They invited me and KT to go with them.
Rocky brought his friend (and coworker) The Magician with him. But more about him in a minute... ;)
So we booked an oceanfront hotel room on Isle of Palms, MJ and KT picked up the guys at the Charlotte airport, everyone came to my house to pick me up, and then we headed to Charleston on Friday afternoon. We stopped for lunch on the way and got to Charleston at about 4pm. Our room was nice, but small. And 5 people sharing one small bathroom was a big pain in the ass. But otherwise, it was great being right on the beach. MJ definitely picked a good hotel.
Friday night, MJ and Rocky went to the wedding. While they were there, KT, The Magician and I went to dinner at this WONDERFUL restaurant called Pearlz. I highly recommend it. It's in downtown Charleston. I had this peppercorn tilapia that melted in my mouth, and everyone else's food was great, too. Great service, nice ambiance. (Looking it up just now on Google, I learned it's owned by the same company that owns Liberty's, one of my favorite Columbia restaurants. Go figure.)
The Magician and I were hitting it off. I thought he was cute, right away. Definitely a spark. Actually, right when i was being introduced and shook his hand, I thought, "Ok, I think this is going to be a good weekend!"
Oh Jeez. I just realized Rocky might read MJ's blog, which means he might read this blog...oh dear. Ok, I am going to have to seriously edit this....or get reassurance from MJ that Rocky doesn't read these.
Ok, the 411 on The Magician: he's my age (28), about 6'2", lean without being very muscular. He's got light brown hair and hazel eyes. he's half Native American and half Scottish -- yeah, kind of an interesting combination, I thought. To be honest, I don't think I've ever met anyone who is more than a sprinkle Native American, so it was kind of cool. He can even say some phrases in his people's language. He is a "Wall Street Warrior"-- he works in some big fancy building, doing investment stuff all day. (To my NYC readers-- I am curious -- are there stereotypes about Wall Steeters? Please let me know. I'm sure I would be amused.) He works near where the Twin Towers were, in a building on the 43rd floor. His family is big like mine. He's very funny, smart and charming. Not really my type in some ways, but at the same time, totally my type. (I know, it makes no sense....then again, some of the best things in life make no sense.)
And remember my dry spell, people.
So i was pretty much doomed. Totally powerless, actually.
After dinner, the three of us went to some bars (Southend Brewery...shoot. I can't remember where else...there's a bar I'm forgetting...).
Anyway, The Magician has a guy pal who lives in Charleston, so he and his wife met up with us at Wet Willy's. They are the nicest couple. We were all chatting in the middle of the bar. Eventually, my feet started to hurt, so I went to go sit down in a corner. The Magician went with me.
....and that's when we started making out like teenagers in the middle of Wet Willy's. There is some debate over who kissed who first, but just for the record, it was his idea. He started it.
OMG y'all. It's a good thing I was out of town, because making out in a bar is NOT my thing at ALL. If I had been in Columbia, my face would have been beet red!!! I kept stopping him, saying, "No! I do not make out in bars! I am not that kind of girl! You have to stop!"
But I only sort of half-way meant it, because he is The Greatest Kisser in the World.
Yeah. I was totally powerless. Putty in his hands.
Oh boy.
Of course, KT, being KT, took pictures of us sucking face in a crowded bar. Awesome. I didn't realize until it was too late. If she ever puts them on the Internet, I will die. LOL
By this point, everyone was pretty much drunk (except me, obviously), so we went back to the hotel.
Meanwhile, MJ and Rocky had gotten totally shitfaced at the wedding and passed out at the hotel before they could even meet up with us. Dorks. Plus, they were each hogging a bed. This sort of messed up our plans (nudge nudge). KT hopped in with MJ. The Magician and I tried to move Rocky, but he got kind of pissed when we woke him up. So he and I decided to take a walk on the beach instead of going to sleep.
Yeah. See where this is going? No, not there. Who likes sand up their butt? Not me. Where was I? Oh yes.
Full moon, light breeze, empty beach...we ended up making out again (Seriously, who is this girl, and where is VB??? It's like the college version of myself went to Charleston this weekend.)....and we got so into making out that we ended up falling over.......and laughing our asses off......and getting sand all over us....
Ok. So then we decided it was too cold, so we went back inside. We obviously didn't want to move Rocky, so we inflated the air mattress and..........well, if this was a movie, this is where the screen would fade to black.
So, why am I referring to him as The Magician? This is why. I swear, y'all, it was like he could read my mind -- I would be thinking, "Gee, I wish he would..." and then he would do it. What guy has that ability??? He not only had the ability to read my mind, but he also has the ability to make things disappear. [Ok, that last line is not as perverted as it sounds. But I am not getting into details. I am seriously editing myself, here, people, because I am trying to keep something in my life private. You can use your imagination. We're all adults. We've all been there. If you are really that nosy or dense, just email me. Sheesh. But if it's any consolation, it's really really hard for me not to spill the juicy details. Don't you love that I have a big mouth when it comes to my personal life?]
I can't believe I did that. I haven't hooked up* in a hotel room full of sleeping people since college (but that's another story). Kind of a jerky move, I know. But they were all asleep. And trust me, if you had been in my position, you would have done the same thing. I don't think wild, attacking tigers could have stopped me.
*Remember, my definition of "hooking up" is: anything more than kissing. Which may or may not involve a run around the bases. So you will just have to wonder what I mean. Sorry.
The next morning, Rocky, MJ and KT went to breakfast at 10am. Since The Magician and I had stayed up a little later than them (AHEM), we slept in. Of course, as they were getting ready, KT spilled the beans and they all made fun of us.....oh well. We deserved it.
He and I got up about an hour later, went to lunch, had a good time. Not awkward at all. We went back to the hotel room just as I got a text message from KT: they were all at the beach.
We had the hotel room to ourselves.
Do the math.
Then he and I joined them at the beach, where we all got sunburned, drank beer and ate corn dogs and ice cream.
We went back to the room around 5ish, napped and showered, and then went out again. This time, we went to A.W. Shuck's for dinner, where we had THE WORST SERVICE I've ever had in my life. A quick run-down:
1. Our waitress was rude and told us when SHE was ready to take our order (which was about a half an hour after we got there) -- she pretty much copped an attitude with us the whole time and never removed dirty dishes unless we flagged her down.
2. Three tables (including us) asked restaurant employees to turn off the hurricane-level arctic fan, but no one EVER DID.
3. The guys ordered martinis. They came out with MAYBE 2 sips in them--a total joke. It turns out the bartender was basically giving them each one shot of vodka. And that's all. Which, if you know about martinis, isn't even how you make them. We had to talk to FOUR people (3 of whom argued with us) before getting the drinks fixed. And they still charged us for them anyway.
4. Did I mention it took us 2 and 1/2 hours to get our food? Yeah. Because the drink fiasco took up 45 minutes. This didn't bother me so much as Rocky, so I am including this in the list on his behalf.
5. They messed up splitting our bill, but it didn't really matter, because it all evened out in the end.
Our bill was about $140 and we left $4. Two of us stiffed her. We ALL left notes for her/managers on our credit card slips. NEVER EAT AT THIS PLACE! It was horrible!! The two tables on either side of us had problems, too. We all revolted.
After dinner, we put it all behind us and got drunk again, this time with MJ and Rocky with us. At one point, looking for our next bar, Rocky saw some very tall steps and did a fantastic Rocky impression (hence his name), as we watched and laughed from across the street. We had a great time, but MJ and KT were both sick by this point, so they left early. (MJ has strep throat and KT has a sinus infection/bronchitis. They were miserable for at least half the weekend. But they were troupers. I'll give them that.) I hung out with Rocky and The Magician until the bars closed, having a blast and (again) making out with The Magician while Rocky hit on Charleston girls. He ended up meeting 3 people (a guy and his girlfriend, and another girl who talked like Minnie Mouse) who were also staying at Isle of Palms. We decided to all get a cab together to save money. Ok, Rocky and the people worked it out. The Magician and I were busy sucking face again.
Because it was the Bridge Run weekend, we could NOT find a cab to save our lives. After 45 minutes, we flagged down one. And by "flagged down", I mean that 7 of us surrounded the cab and squished into it before the cabbie could protest. Then we demanded that the cabbie take us to our hotels. He didn't want to do it because he wasn't supposed to have 7 people in his cab. He could get a fine and there were a lot of cops out. Also, he had "just gotten out of jail", which I didn't buy.
We refused to budge, out of sheer desperation. The guy who was with us was SHITFACED, and so he just started handing the cabbie money. "There, that should get us at least across the bridge," he slurred as he handed the cabbie $100.
We were in a cab with Mr. Moneybags! Sweet!
The cabbie told us to be quiet as he accepted the cash. Of course, at 2am, 7 drunk people cannot be quiet, so they all proceeded to talk loudly and at the same time, which made me giggle. It was a very entertaining cab ride.
Yeah, so we got a free cab ride from downtown to Isle of Palms, which is about a 30 minute ride. All we had to do was tip the cabbie. Suh-weet!
Everyone went to sleep. The Magician and I stayed up (Ok, seriously, are you even surprised at this point?). Unfortunately, we were pretty tired at this point, so we kept falling asleep mid-smooch and finally gave up after a while.
The next morning, MJ felt like crap, so she left to go to the doctor's right away. The rest of us took our time going back to Columbia, stopping for breakfast at IHOP. I continued to tease The Magician by asking him annoying questions about his heritage: Did he live in a teepee on top of a skyscraper? Does he do the rain dance to make the stocks go up? etc. On the way home, the guys answered my 632 questions about NYC. They want us to come visit them and told me I would love it. (My conclusion after hearing what they told me? I am terrified of NYC!! The people up north are very blunt and I know someone would make me cry by the end of the first day!)
Since their flight didn't leave Charlotte until 8pm, we hung out at MJ and KT's house for a while. We went to lunch and shopped. But then, I had to go run some errands, so I didn't go with them to the airport. We hugged good bye, and The Magician told me he wants me to come visit SOON. (He emphasized the 'soon' part. Awww...) KT told me later that on the way to the airport, Rocky kept telling The Magician to marry me, and The Magician said I was a great girl and would make a great girlfriend.
Awww!
Earlier today I asked KT, "Hey, you didn't tell him any of the juicy details I told you, did you? Like, about what I said?" (KT got more details than y'all. Sorry.)
She told me that The Magician asked her the same thing on the way to the airport. How funny! Although KT says she told me everything he said, I guess I will never know....
He didn't ask for my phone number. Which I have mixed feelings about. I'd like to talk to him, but at the same time, let's call it what it really was: a Spring Fling. I mean, people don't start dating in this situation. He lives in NYC, for Pete's sake. It's best to just let it be.
And he doesn't have a myspace page and it's KILLING ME.
Sorry so long, but I seriously had so much fun!!!
My next post is going to be good, too. You see, I didn't even mention the weird dreams I've been having, Toby's trip to the vet, the news about my roommate, or the Hot Neighbor update, now did I?
Tee hee. I'll leave you hanging for now....
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Bad Girl?
| You Are a Normal Girl |
 You are 40% Good and 60% Bad Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl. |
I thought this would be a good follow-up to my Bad Girl Weekend post. According to the ever-reliable Blogthings, I am only a "Normal Girl" rather than a Bad Girl. This is disappointing. I will have to improve.
I have an Inner Slut, I swear!!!!
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