Thursday, June 01, 2006
The Hypocrite (revised and expanded edition)
I found Repo's Myspace page today. I wasn't stalking my boyfriend. I am not a psychotically jealous person. But Navy Guy said that Repo had a page, so I thought I'd look it up to see what he has on it. It was simple curiosity. I was not aware that he had a page. I wanted to read it. Maybe leave a comment or email him. Just to say hi. Excited that he and I could start communicating even more. Thinking it would be a fun way for us to meet each others' friends. So I find it.
One of his "friends" is some 19 year old blonde girl I've never heard of. She lives here in town. That's her, in the photo. Notice how she is grabbing her own boobs. I would have put up the photo she has of her ass but I didn't think that was appropriate. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. The thing is, it's not that I have a problem with him talking to her. I don't feel comfortable telling him what he can and can't do. What bothers me is that I have never heard of her, which makes me think he is hiding something. Plus, Sassafras (thank you, dear) reminded me that Repo once said "Myspace is stupid. I hate all that stuff."
It turns out he's had a Myspace page since February.
I'm sure there is a logical explanation. I don't think anything is going on. I hope. She's probably just a friend. Right? I mean, he spends almost all his free time with me. But I've never heard of Katie. I am at least familiar with all the other friends he has listed. Except the other girl, but she's not grabbing her boobs--she's wearing normal clothes and looks very unthreatening. Plus, she's not his type.
But I didn't want him to think that I was checking up on him or that I don't trust him or something. So I emailed him a short email, explaining how I found him (through Navy Guy's friends) and making a mild joke about Tits McGee up there. And I left it at that.
(Side note: his Myspace page is not dead. He just logged in a couple days ago.)
Knowing me, he told me about his Myspace page and I have forgotten.
He doesn't know about this blog.
But I'm not talking to strange men who live in town and grab their crotches, either.
I'm thinking about telling him about my blog.
And I really can't say anything about what he does on his Myspace page, because I have this secret blog. I am such a hypocrite.
Curiosity killed the cat. I can feel my stomach churning over this. I want to cry right now.
Advice? Opinions? I want to bring this up, but I'm afraid he will think I'm being psycho-stalker girlfriend. But how can I not bring it up? It might be a couple of days before he even checks his Myspace page. I don't think I can wait that long.