Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Hypocrite (revised and expanded edition)

I found Repo's Myspace page today. I wasn't stalking my boyfriend. I am not a psychotically jealous person. But Navy Guy said that Repo had a page, so I thought I'd look it up to see what he has on it. It was simple curiosity. I was not aware that he had a page. I wanted to read it. Maybe leave a comment or email him. Just to say hi. Excited that he and I could start communicating even more. Thinking it would be a fun way for us to meet each others' friends. So I find it.

One of his "friends" is some 19 year old blonde girl I've never heard of. She lives here in town. That's her, in the photo. Notice how she is grabbing her own boobs. I would have put up the photo she has of her ass but I didn't think that was appropriate. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. The thing is, it's not that I have a problem with him talking to her. I don't feel comfortable telling him what he can and can't do. What bothers me is that I have never heard of her, which makes me think he is hiding something. Plus, Sassafras (thank you, dear) reminded me that Repo once said "Myspace is stupid. I hate all that stuff."

It turns out he's had a Myspace page since February.

I'm sure there is a logical explanation. I don't think anything is going on. I hope. She's probably just a friend. Right? I mean, he spends almost all his free time with me. But I've never heard of Katie. I am at least familiar with all the other friends he has listed. Except the other girl, but she's not grabbing her boobs--she's wearing normal clothes and looks very unthreatening. Plus, she's not his type.

But I didn't want him to think that I was checking up on him or that I don't trust him or something. So I emailed him a short email, explaining how I found him (through Navy Guy's friends) and making a mild joke about Tits McGee up there. And I left it at that.

(Side note: his Myspace page is not dead. He just logged in a couple days ago.)

Knowing me, he told me about his Myspace page and I have forgotten.

He doesn't know about this blog.

But I'm not talking to strange men who live in town and grab their crotches, either.

I'm thinking about telling him about my blog.

And I really can't say anything about what he does on his Myspace page, because I have this secret blog. I am such a hypocrite.

Curiosity killed the cat. I can feel my stomach churning over this. I want to cry right now.

Advice? Opinions? I want to bring this up, but I'm afraid he will think I'm being psycho-stalker girlfriend. But how can I not bring it up? It might be a couple of days before he even checks his Myspace page. I don't think I can wait that long.


sassafras said...

Wait a minute. Didn't you write a comment on my blog implying that Repo thought My Space was crap? Why would he say that if he had one of his own? I'm sure there is a good explanation. Maybe he doesn't go on there anymore? My bf didn't take his profile off a dating website for 2 months. I knew he was spending all his time with me so I wasn't worried about it. I think you did the right thing by e-mailing him light and breezy. I'm curious to know how he responds. Good luck!

sassafras said...

Also, as you know I've debated telling my bf about the blog. Right now I'm glad that it's all mine. It's definitely something to think long and hard about. No doubt he will want to read it. I think it comes down to why you blog. And no, you're not a hypocrite.

jennster said...

you know how crappy myspace is... there are all sorts of stupid girls on there doing stupid things. but you can't blame him for the picture SHE has. now, is she commenting on his space saying HI BABY LET'S HOOK UP and shit like that?!?! it's fine you found it and fine you mentioned it. but you definitely can't get all pissy with him about it, when he doesn't know about this blog.

Virginia Belle said...

sassafras--yes, you are right! i did say that. i have revised my post to reflect your excellent memory. yes, i am hoping for a logical explanation, but he DOES go onto his acct still. and it turns out he has had one for MONTHS. i'm curious too. i'll keep you posted. and i've been thinking very long and hard about whether or not to tell him about this blog.

jennster--yeah, i know. she has some webcam or something too. great, right? you're right that he can't be blamed for her slutty pics. and to his credit, he hasn't left a single comment on her page. as far as i can tell, they have not communicated at all. so that is a relief. but if they have been emailing, i wouldn't know. i am not pissy. i can't be, considering what i do without his knowledge. i am just wondering if there is more stuff he is hiding from me.

teahouse said...

Heh, she looks pretty foolish with that face she's making, coupled with the hand gesture.

He might not even know who she is, right? Then again, I don't know how MySpace works...

I told my Boy about my blog pretty early on. It amuses him. But he's pretty comptuerly illiterate.

Vixen said...

She's probably some Myspace hoochie just looking for attention. Don't sweat it VB, its nothing to worry about. The whole Myspace thing is really easy to get people on your page as friends, and she's probably adding every guy she can trying to amp up her numbers or something. It's encouraging that he's not leaving her comments at all. If you really want to do some sleuthing (which I don't recommend!), I can hook you up with a very fine Myspace Guy who can go undercover for you with her to see what's up. Lemme know;)

As for showing him your blog---bad idea.VERY BAD IDEA. Unless you plan to go through the archives and edit everything. You know how sensitive our men can be at times. I feel a personal blog is like a diary, for your personal expression and once you show it to him he's going to be reading it consistently. So then you start to censor your content and you can no longer freely rant about everything going on. So then your blog becomes uber boring. And people stop reading. So then you start a new one with a whole new name and url just to be able to rant and rave about your boyfriend.

As you can see, I've really been down this road, and learned my lesson....hehehehe.

Stuck said...

First and foremost, I find it hilarious that you care about who is on his friend list on MySpace.

Second... she's a MySpace webcam chick. They send out mass friend requests, and Repo probably accepted the request simply because she's cute. If you're jealous of a webcam chick, you may as well break up with him because it's just internet porn. He about about as much of a chance of hooking up with her as he does with a stripper.

If you really feel devious, you can play the game where you make a MySpace page, post some fake pictures of a random hottie... and then request him to be your friend. If he tries to meet you off-line, then you should worry. If he doesn't, you're golden. But either way, you should be ashamed of yourself for stooping to such a level. ;)

MoDigli said...

VB ~ I don't think you've done anything wrong! You were prompted by someone else to find the myspace page and all you wanted to do was go leave a comment to say hey and give some love to your BOYFRIEND!

HELLOOOO???? That's okay. In fact, some might have considered it a sweet gesture!

Anyway - You found something that made you feel uncomfortable. That's okay. It doesn't mean you should feel ashamed for doing what you did. I think you went there with the pretense of trusting him already set in place. That's why it was such a shock to find that slutty picture.

I must differ with some of the opinions here, though. I don't think your only options are to either 1) blow it off with a light joke, or 2) get all CSI sneaky and investigative on his ass.

What is wrong with just saying the truth?!!!
"Hey , Repo. I went to your myspace page innocently. This picture bummed me out and hurt my feelings. Especially when you said Myspace was shit. I know I probably shouldn't have gone there without asking you first, but I did and I found this. Can you tell me what's up?"

NML said...

Oooh, drama is going down in herrre! People are funny about blogs and My Space pages. He may have a convoluted reason for not telling you. That girl is probably the hoochie that Vixen suggested she is. It's that type of atmosphere so I wouldn't sweat it. The key is to either get it out in the open and discuss it or stay zipped and pretend you haven't seen it. The first option is more likely though...

Virginia Belle said...

vixen--no no no, i am NOT interested in becoming a psycho girlfriend who gets all 007. but thanks anyway. and i know you don't agree with me telling him about my blog, but...well, i'll explain in my next post.

stuckey-- of course i care. why wouldn't i care? her boobs are all over the place and i'd never heard of her. maybe i'm just more insecure than you. but it did concern me. and i had no way of knowing she was just some myspace spam slut. i am not very experienced with myspace. and no i will not make up some fake page! that is crazy. i'm not crazy, i'm neurotic.

Mo-- can i just say that i love you right now? you and i are thinking on the same wavelength. you have totally read my mind on this. because that is what i wanted to do--talk about it. and i did just that. we had a looooong talk last night. i'll post about it.

NML--you called it, girl!

M said...

I agree with modigli! Be straightforward and honest with your boyfriend about your feelings.

STUCK, you are such a MAN! to quote from your comment:
First and foremost, I find it hilarious that you care about who is on his friend list on MySpace.

Hello!! If the shoe was on the other foot, her boyfriend would care! If Virginia Belle had a MySpace page with hot guys on her "friend's list", her boyfriend would care! That is,if he were a boyfriend who wanted a real relationship!

Sam said...

My Space sucks ass. Huge, crusty, snot-filled ass. That's all I have here.

Matilda Jane said...

OH cool that's me! just kidding.... but really, that's my best friend.... ok just kidding again...