Tuesday, August 01, 2006


You know I love making lists.

1. FedSucksy and I played phone tag for a few days. Then I got annoyed, so I stopped answering my phone for last-minute coffee dates. He kept cancelling at the last minute. Very irritating. Since Saturday, he has called me 3 times. I have not called him back. I am trying to decide if I want to. Am I being rude? I don't really have anything to say to him. I don't want to date him, out of fear that he will stand me up again. It would just be awkward and pointless, don't you think? Should I return the call?

2. Why do they lock up the toilet paper at work? As if anyone really wants to steal that crap!

3. If you are a nudist, and you go to use the bathroom, would you shut the door? Because really, what is the point?

4. Why do people think libraries are so intimidating? It's just like Barnes & Noble, only not as cool because we don't let you eat and drink in here. Same idea, only with older and more boring stuff. What is the big deal? If you don't know how to find books using call numbers, ask us to explain it to you. It takes all of 5 minutes to get it.

5. Who doesn't know how to use a photocopier? I mean, come on. They have been around for at least 40 years now, people. It ain't rocket science.

That's all I got today, folks. Crappy post, I know. Slow news day. Stay cool. We are currently at 103 as I type this. (If you include heat index.) When I go home, I will pay homage to the air conditioning gods. May wonderful things come to them tenfold. Because if my electricity goes off again like it has 3 times this week, and my ice cream melts, I will be one pissy bitch.


Matilda Jane said...

definitely don't call back what's-his-name. If you haven't learned from him standing you up and you having to dump a drink on his head, and then his not calling and expecting you to be available when he's ready.........
come on now, do you really want a guy like that? Unless you're a masochist, he's just wasting your air, really.

Mitesh said...

1. Cancel on him before he cancels on you. Call him up when you and your girls are out and tell him to come down. Then leave before he gets there. When he calls to find you tell him you're tired. But say you're so sorry you missed him. Tell him to call you tomorrow and don't answer. Then he'll want you and won't miss any coffee dates. Or have a guy friend answer your phone next time he calls.

2. A friend of mine and his roommates each decided not to buy TP. They used paper towels. They would have stole the TP.

3. You're a nudist! That's awesome.

4. Librarians are smarter than I am. If I ask a question, I'll feel dumb.

5. Why is there more than two buttons on a photocopier?

Lisa said...

The comment about the nudist using the bathroom made me laugh out loud. Too funny. And yeah, I'd be pissed at that guy too!

sassafras said...

You made me bust out with the last line! Too funny!

shell said...

i hear you on the copy machine. it's so friggen easy: put the paper you want copied in, and hit start, jackass. i hate when people have a problem doing that. really, they just don't want to do it and they want you to do it for them. they are assholes. sorry...bad day at the office for me....

Red said...

Don't call him..

TP- That's kind of like the stupid things on warning labels.. You know it wouldn't be there if somebody hadn't tried it...

Nidist in bathrooms- If they don't close it, they should.. No one likes to walk into the "invisible wall."

Libraries- It's the image of the old, scary, wart covered librarian that lurks around corners waiting to hit you with a ruler that makes libraries so intimidating.

Copiers- I'm surprised I can work one. Things have gotten so damned complicated with all the bells and whistles now. I miss the old ones that weren't much more than a green button.

Hope your ice cream doesn't melt!! :)

Random Musings Of My Life said...

They ALso lock up the bathroom spray here. F*^*&king halarious if you ask me, I mean if you need to steal the TP then you have bigger issues.

Oh and DO NOT/DON"T/SHOULD'Nt call loser boy back.
Your better than that and he is not worth your time.
Oh and I finally got around to adding you as a link!!

stella said...

I always wondered the same thing too about toilet paper. Did you also ever notice that they lock up the paper towel dispenser too?!

CharlestonGuy said...

I used to work at a quick copy place (kind of like a Kinko's) and you would be AMAZED at how stupid people are.

I spent at least half of my day teaching people, fixing the machine when they did something stupid, or just shoving them out the way and doing it for them.

That job was proof to me that 90% of humanity has no problem solving skills, and about 85% of humanity has no manners or respect for people in the service industry.

If you ever wonder why the workers at Kinko's act rude - its because about 476 people walked in before you and talked to them like they were idiots - even though those SAME people can't even make their own copies...


Virginia Belle said...

MJ-- the thing is, i would kind of enjoy seeing him grovel. he said he wanted to apologize. who doesn't want to hear an apology? he must not be that apologetic, though, if he keeps calling for last minute coffee.

mitesh-- you are harsh! i'm trying to be the bigger person! your friends used paper towels? there is no way that is a good idea. they don't even flush! ewww! and i am NOT A NUDIST. not at all. ever. unless i am with a special somebody! librarians are no smarter than anyone else. we just know how to find stuff. we can teach you how. do not fear. the only dumb thing you can do is not ask for help when you need it.

lisa-- actually, we had a conversation about nudist behavior at work the other day, and this was the one thought that i couldn't get out of my head.

sassafras-- hey, i do my best to entertain.

shell-- YES! you are so right!!

red-- i'm not. and yes, you are right about the TP. i love how you used the phrase "invisible wall"-- you crack me up! no pun intended. and i'm not old, scary or wart-covered. i resent that. :) although, i might be in a bad mood sometimes because people get on my nerves.

random-- i know. i just didn't want to be rude. and like i said to MJ, i would kinda like to see him grovel....thanks for adding me.

stella-- yeah, i did notice that! what is up with that??

Christina_the_wench said...

Charleston guy is right. People are idiots. I work at a college and instructor's with Master's degrees can't find the on/off button on a copier. Amazing.

Gypsy said...

Melting ice cream should just not be allowed. It's wrong, I say, wrong!

Stuck said...

You can't say you're trying to be the bigger person right after you say that you'd enjoy seeing him grovel. It's not allowed.

My prediction, if you call him back, is as follows:

You call him. You set up a date. He shows up. You set up another date. He bails. And bails on the next one. Pretty mch one out of four appointments will be kept. Why do I predict this? Because he's using a pick-up artist tactic. You say it doesn't work, do you? Then why the hell are you even asking if you should call him back?

At the very least, never communicate with him again. Even better, block his number. Best situation, though, next time he calls you, say that your new boyfriend has been taking up all your time and you can't squeeze him in... then come over and have sex with me.

NML said...

I loved this post as I sensed that you are feeling more than a bit cheesed off. Gobble up all that ice-cream pronto!

Mitesh said...

I'm not trying to be harsh for the sake of being harsh. He's toying with you and its working. You think he's cute. He ignores you and you continue to think about him. I can't imagine you'd even consider him for a long term relationship. Soooo... there's either no relationship or a short term one.

I don't actually think you want him to grovel, but you want him to really want you. To steam for you. Am I right? If you can make him 'want' you, you have to be rather precise and play his game better than him. That's all. If you don't want to get involved with his game, find another man who plays a different game. That's just my opinion though.

Stephanie A. said...

VB, that dude does not deserve you. Canceling one time is fine, but any more than that is in bad taste.

I used to work in a library, too and I always wondered why people acted so goofy about asking questions- especially when it came to finding books. What's the big deal?

Virginia Belle said...

christina-- you have no idea how much i can relate. i truly wonder how these people function on a daily basis.

gypsy-- yes! i second that!

stuck-- yeah yeah. i know. and i agree w/you about how it would turn out. it would be a big mess. and he would probably stand me up again. which is why i'm not taking any of his calls. and i'm not coming over and having sex with you you big pervert!! :) what would your new girlfriend say???

nml-- you have no idea, girl!

mitesh-- oh sweetie, trust me. i am so over his stupid antics. i don't make time for people like this. i'm done! he's eliminated.

stephanie-- no, he doesn't. that's why i'm done. for good. it's good to know i'm not the only one who thinks people who are afraid of librarians are weird. i'm about as intimidating as a lamb.