So much for posting every day this month. Totally forgot to post this weekend. Oops. Not like my weekend was ultra-exciting. Although, it had its moments, as you will see.
Friday night I did this. In heels. Not one of my better ideas, considering we ended up walking about a mile. By the end, I was a whiny, hobbling, pathetic fashion victim. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. You would think that since I did the tour a couple of years ago, I would remember how much walking was involved. But alas, that is giving me too much credit. Anyway, if they have a ghost tour where you are, (and according to Google, they are everywhere) I highly recommend going on one. It's full of history and urban legends. Very fun and different way to spend a couple of hours.
Then CN and I ate dinner here. I highly recommend the White Pizza. Mmmm...the cool thing is, they use whole wheat flour and low-fat cheese, so the pizzas aren't as bad for you. And you'd never know it! It's delicious!
Saturday, we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel, which was so exciting because they have hashbrown casserole AND blueberry pancakes (my all-time favorite breakfast food). If you live on the West Coast, I don't think you have Cracker Barrels, but that's ok. It's worth driving for. Man oh man, do they have good food!!! Plus, they have a cool store you can browse in while you wait for a table.
Then we ran errands and went to the mall. I made us some dinner, and then we watched the USC-Arkansas game. (And no, I don't want to talk about it. It stings.)
Titillating thus far, huh? I know you are all on the edge of your seats right now, so I will chug ahead to Sunday. :P
That afternoon, I went to Wal-Mart, and I saw a veeeeeeeerrrry interesting lady. At least, I think it was a lady. Picture in your mind: Tammy Faye Baker and a transvestite had a love child. Only the love child is in her late 60s. With frizzy platinum hair. And wearing the following outfit:
gold sequin newsboy cap
sparkly gold sweater
large gold hoop earrings
gold necklaces weighing about 10 pounds -- the woman had on the Mr. T starter kit, I swear!
6 or 7 (you guessed it) gold rings
gold satin sash tied around her waist as a belt
gold cigarette pants, stopping just shy of her ankles
(surprise, surprise) gold satin pumps
18 pounds of makeup, complete with fuchsia lipstick
Normally, I am able to control myself when faced with such odd people. But this lady was something else. I couldn't help but stare. Which is apparently what she wanted from everyone.
"Holy shit!" I mumbled to myself as I walked past her.
The Wal-Mart worker nearby giggled. Oops. Me and my big mouth. Too loud!
Then, I had a 2nd scare. You see, Miss Goldilocks wasn't pushing her own cart. Oh no. She doesn't "do" that. It might mess up her (presumably) gold-painted acrylic nails. She had a young girl with her to push the cart.
"Come along, Millie, push the cart over here!" is what I believe she said to the little girl. I looked over to see a beautiful little girl pushing the cart of Miss Goldilocks. She looked like she had just left ballerina class. Aw.
Now this poor thing, I assume it was her granddaughter -- or great-granddaughter, there's no telling what all that makeup is preserving -- was, at about age 11, already exhibiting traits of a future Miss Goldilocks. Her hair was pale blond, put up into an elegant bun, and her eyebrows were perfectly plucked.
I wanted to grab her and shake her and yell, "Good God! What is she doing to you??!? Don't you know little girls don't pluck their eyebrows?!!! Now, hurry! Run! Get out of here and away from her as fast as you can!! I'll cover for you! GO!!!"
But unfortunately for the little girl, I am neither that impulsive nor interfering. I shook my head and continued on with my shopping. And smiled to myself when I noticed aaaaaaall the other shoppers staring at this crazy woman, too.
I only have two regrets, really, about this whole encounter.
1. I didn't take any pictures -- it SUCKS when you see things like this and you are alone, huh?
2. I didn't look in her cart to see what she was buying. But I bet there was a big ol' vat of cold cream in there!
I wanted to take a picture so badly, but we were in such close proximity, I would have exposed myself. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But MAN, that was such a blog-worthy moment!
I can't wait to go to Wal-Mart next Sunday. I wonder who will be there this time!!