Ugh. Going to the gym now makes me want to barf.
Not because working out really hard makes me barf, although that is true.
Not because I'm hating the whole process of getting back in shape -- on the contrary, I am excited about it.
What makes me want to barf when I go to the gym is the fact that every time I cross the threshold, I now risk running into any or ALL of the following former romantic interests*:
Dr. Seuss (a guy I used to date who ended up being a total wack job)
Fed Sucksy (a guy I used to date who stood me up, only to refuse to apologize or explain later-- asshole!)
Small World Guy (a guy I sorta dated for a bit, but there was no spark)
and the two newest additions--
Hot Neighbor (who has moved, btw) and.....
Hoo-fuckin'-ray. It's official -- every guy I have dated or liked in this town now goes to my gym. I saw HN there 3 days ago and then ran into Repo last night. Oh. The. Joy.
Look, I know Columbia isn't that big of a city, but DAMMIT does everyone have to join my gym? There are several other gyms they can go to!!!! The true irony is that the only guy I want to see at the gym, CN, goes to a different gym than I do.
What used to be my aerobic oasis, my sanctuary of sweat, has now become a place of dread and awkwardness. It is only a matter of time until I do something to embarrass myself in front of one of them. I have never been known for my athletic abilities, let alone my coordination. I work out with dirty hair, little makeup and old t-shirts! This is not the way I want to look in front of former flames! AAARRRGH.
Oh well. I guess this should motivate me to work out extra-hard, right?
Maybe they are all stalking me. Ha ha!
Ok, yeah, that's probably not the case. I just have bad luck.
My membership runs out in a year. I am counting down the days.
* If you want the back story on these guys, just search this blog for their names. Or click on the tags below.