Running out of gas on the way to work? An hour of vacation time wasted while waiting for a coworker to rescue me.
Filling up a tank that is 99% empty? $42.26
Arriving at work to find my stalker waiting for me? Taking the long way into the building to avoid him. I've been hiding in my office ever since.
Hot Neighbor coming over last night because he wanted to thank me "in person" for the cake? Priceless.
He wants me. Right? I mean, that's 3 trips to my house to thank me for half of a leftover birthday cake I gave him a week ago. You don't do that, normally. Normally, you'd return the tupperware about 2 weeks later, still encrusted with frosting, and just say "Thanks for the cake!" the next time you see the person in their driveway.
And it may have been my imagination (which, as we all know, likes to do its own thing), but I swear he had this look on his face like he wanted to say something else. See, what happened was, it was 10pm and I was walking Sammy. I returned from the walk to find him knocking on my door. He turned around to see me waving at him. He got this semi-surprised look on his face, and I said, "Hey! What's up?" He told me he wanted to thank me in person, blah blah. I said, "It was good, wasn't it? See why I had to get rid of it?" Then he repeated himself again--"I just wanted to thank you in person..blah blah."
(Keep in mind that I have a difficult time focusing on what actually comes out of his mouth, because I'm usually standing there, thinking, "OMG!!!! He's talking to me!!! Do I look ok? He's talking. Pay attention. Shit, I have a zit. Crap, I knew I should have powdered my nose earlier. I'm probably all greasy. I have no idea if my hair looks good right now. Wait, what did he say? Why oh why did I wear this stupid outfit today? Don't come on too strong, VB. Keep it cool.")
Where was I? Oh yeah. He said thank you twice. I thought, "Um, you just said that. But you're wearing shorts right now, and you have nice legs, so that's ok." I said to him, "Oh, you're welcome." (I remembered to smile. I'm really glad I remembered.) He just kind of stood there. Eeerrm.....now what? All I could think about was how cold he must be for standing around in shorts. Before it got really awkward, I said, "Ok, well, have a good night." And then he said, "You too! Talk to you later," and walked away. At least, I think that's what he said. I was checking out his ass at that specific moment.
Any interpretations? He wants me, right? Because that's how it goes in my head.....
Anyway, back to my out-of-gas car. So when I called Czarina this morning to tell her I was stranded and waiting on a coworker to save me, she of course wanted to know if I was safe. "Yes, I'm on a residential street," I replied. Then she called me a bimbo. I told her that the gas gauge is broken and has been lying to me about how much gas is actually in my tank. "That's why you write down how many miles you've driven since the last time you filled up. You can assume you'll get about 200 miles per tank."
"Mom, the gas gauge started doing this yesterday. I have no idea how many miles I've driven since I filled up last. I had no clue how much gas was in my tank. I don't even remember when I filled up last. I know it was a few days ago."
She laughed and called me her little blonde bimbo. "Oh honey, I've done it, too. We all have our blonde moments." Thanks, Mom. So glad I called for some sympathy. What was I thinking?
(I am going to go leave replies to all y'all's --shut up, that is grammatical in SC-- comments on the last post now.)