Dummy, Chummy and Yummy, Part 2

I would like to start this post with the following information which is not directly related to this story, but begs to be shared with my readers anyway: I saw Hot Neighbor without his shirt on last night. Yeah. It was awesome. I was walking Sammy before bedtime, and he just pops out of his house with no shirt on. He was on the phone and sat down on his stoop to talk. He waved. I almost passed out. He looked good. Very, very yummy. And so today I have fantastic mental images....it's making my day go so much better than a regular Wednesday....*sigh*

Ok, back to the story of my weekend of almost-hookups with guys.

Saturday was St. Patty's Day, which meant spending the day in Five Points, the cultural (ie, bar) hub of town. This year's annual festival did not disappoint. KT, MJ and I enjoyed live music from Villanova and Loch Ness Johnny. I meant to catch The Movement and Corey Smith, but there were scheduling conflicts (ie, I forgot). I'm kind of mad at myself about this...but oh well.

Although windy, it was sunny and warm enough to be outside. I saw no one I knew which was really amazing, actually. Usually I run into umpteen friends there. I think it was because we got there so late--most of my friends had already gone. We enjoyed the music and beer for a while and then left to grab some dinner. By then it was starting to get pretty cold, so I went home and changed into something warmer. I met back up with MJ and KT at Flying Saucer. They were talking to some coworkers of KT's.

"Oh, hey, VB!" KT said. "This is my friend. You can call him Asshole," she said.

I looked to him, expecting him to protest. He didn't. "Hi. I'm an Asshole. I really am," he said.

I laughed and said, "Ok, you want to be called 'Asshole', I can call you Asshole!"

At 23, he classifies as BB, but he was still a cool guy. (BB stands for "baby balls", remember). He has a great sense of humor. Kinda cute, in a geeky way. He is mega-smart. (Who gets a masters degree in statistics????!) Definitely not an asshole, although as MJ adeptly pointed out, he does leave something to be desired in the manners department. I liked him right away. His friend seemed nice, too.

After about 15 minutes, MJ and KT paid their tabs and we were on our way to Art Bar to see Loch Ness Johnny play again. (Gotta love seeing your favorite local band play twice in one day!) I was kind of hoping the two BBs would come with us, but I didn't say anything.

Five minutes later, they showed up. The warm-up band started to play, but BB and I stayed in the main part of the bar, smoking and talking. We joined them later, but spent most of our time talking to each other.

The only bad thing was that for some reason, our conversations kept turning to awkward topics for me: alcoholism, my dad, my baby brother that died, MRSA, etc. He wasn't doing it on purpose, it's just the way the conversations wound up. He kept bringing up topics or asking questions I don't like to discuss around people I just met. "He's not very good at small talk, is he?" I asked KT later. "Nope." she answered.

I stopped mid-sentence at one point and said, "You're really good at making me feel uncomfortable. You have managed to bring up every awkward topic I don't like to talk about."

He apologized and we got back to more comfortable discussions. Despite the uncomfortable questions, I did enjoy his company. And although he has what I like to call "nibbly lips" (Orlando Bloom has "nibbly lips" in case you are wondering what I'm talking about), he's going to have to remain in the Friend Zone because he's just too young. I can't say that in a Xanax-induced fuzziness I won't grab him and make out with him one day, but for now, he's TFZ'd.

Oh yes, you read that correctly. I discovered Xanax this weekend. Not as good as vicodin, but it's a good time. Hey, when people offer me drugs, I take them. I'm not stupid.

But let's not get off track, now, ok? There's still one more guy I have to tell you about.

The rain check with Jack Steel never happened, by the way. I was relieved, as I had mulled it over in my brain and come to the conclusion that it was a bad idea to begin with. He's just too...stupid. Hooking up with stupid people is not fun at all. I'd rather suck face with BB.

Back to the story. This is the Yummy part.

So the other day, I had just gotten home from work when an ambulance, lights flashing, pulled into my neighborhood. I was concerned, since most of my neighbors are elderly.

The EMTs hopped out and ran up to Miss Margie's house. She is my favorite neighbor (well, besides Hot Neighbor, obv.). Very sweet older lady. She has a very naughty dachshund named Daisy.

I swear to God this is going somewhere, guys. Just hang with me.

So the EMTs put Miss Margie on a gurney and throw her in the back of the ambulance and haul her off to the hospital. Since her kids were there, I figured Daisy would be ok. I was worried about Miss Margie, but didn't want to bother them, so I didn't get to ask what had happened. I figured she couldn't have been too sick, because she was talking and awake when she was on the gurney.

She's home from the hospital now, and last night I was out walking Sammy when I saw her. She and Daisy were out, too. So I got the chance to find out what had happened to her. She had a hernia which pressed on her esophagus and makes it hard for her to breathe and eat. She is probably going to have to have surgery, but she's fine. I told her I was glad she was ok and that if she ever needed me to watch Daisy to let me know.

"Oh, you're so nice. You know, that's what Hot Neighbor was saying the other day," she said.

"Oh.....yeah?" I said.

"Yes, he said you were so sweet and such a nice girl. He wanted to know how old you are, so I told him you're 28," she said, looking over at me sideways. I think I saw a hint of a smile on her face.

"Really. That's interesting," I said.

"Uh huh. He's been working a lot lately," Miss Margie said.

"Yeah, I noticed," I replied.

We said goodnight and parted ways. My brain was spinning. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't even think to grill her for more information! But since she's not doing well, I told her I'd bring her some food later. Maybe I can grill her when I bring it over. I wonder what else she knows...