I could discuss how this past weekend was dubbed "Freaks on Parade" by MJ and I. Never in my life have I had to deal with so many drunken losers at so many different bars. Every guy was worse than the last--pushy, ugly, nosy, full of themselves...you name it. Not a cute, polite, funny guy in sight all weekend. It's enough to make me want to avoid the bars for a month.
One of the freaks was RDG, who I've determined is probably an alcoholic. I have yet to hold an entirely sober conversation with him. He was so drunk on Friday night that not only did he not recognize me, but he was practically falling asleep at the bar. Very sad. I'm so glad I did not ever hook up with him!
It was, as my coworker pointed out to me, both a full moon and a lunar eclipse. Perhaps this explains it.
I could discuss how my car has a new problem. Oh yes. It has thought of a new way to torture me. Now, it is playing "guess your gas" with me. Between home and work this morning, my gas tank registered at totally empty, 3/4 full, 100% full and just less than half. How much gas do I actually have? Who knows. I don't remember when I filled up last time. I didn't know there would be a quiz. I guess I'll just fill 'er up after work today and keep track of it that way. I usually fill up once a week.
I could discuss how good Zodiac was. MJ and I saw it on Sunday night. Man, I love me some serial killer flicks. It only had about 2 seconds of gore. And it's kind of long, but it's so good, you don't care. Parts of it get kind of complicated, but the movie never leaves you in the dust. It manages to straddle that fine line between, "Crap, I'm lost." and "Duh. We already figured that part out." Plus, the acting was really good. Since the murders were never solved (don't worry, I'm not spoiling anything for you), I was afraid it would leave the audience hanging at the end, but it managed to tie up the loose ends nicely. Very good.
I could discuss how Hot Neighbor came over to my house TWICE this weekend, and I was in the shower the first time and not at home the 2nd time. Yeah....how pissed was I?? K said he had on a suit the first time. DANGIT. It's so never going to happen for me.
I could discuss how several people have managed to TOTALLY freak me out about dating guys with ex-wives and kids, anyway. Single dads will always answer their cell (always, ladies!). You have to compete with kids/ex-wife for time and money. So you can forget getting jewelry or fancy dinners all the time, let alone "alone" time. The kids will try and call you "Mommy" at best, or they will be spoiled brats who yell, "You're not my mommy!" at worst. You will feel pressure to cook and do laundry for them. Or babysit them. You have to be REALLY good about birth control because (obviously) the guy's plumbing is in working order.
Good grief. Hot Neighbor's lucky he's hot. Because if he wasn't, he'd be S.O.L.
My coworker did tell me one thing that is kind of optimisitic: recently divorced guys are verrrrrrry lonely. (They're so wone-wee...) They are used to having a family, someone to welcome them home, regular romps in the hay, etc.
Argh. Why can't some things be easy? Then again, it's not like he's asked me out or anything. For all I know, I don't have a snowball's chance in hell. At least I still have my window where I can secretly gawk at him. *sigh*
I could discuss how badly I want to get Dog #2. But it has to wait...
Because my bank account is hemorrhaging money right now. Between shopping (oops!), 3 birthdays for friends this week, an upcoming trip to Charleston, a baby shower gift, car repairs and other expenses for my Big Secret Project, I need to watch my nickels and dimes for the time being. This means cooking at home and wearing the shoes I have bought already instead of buying new ones.
Speaking of new shoes...I got this pair this weekend:
Cute, huh? Yeah. They go with everything. And I got them half off because I am Master Shopper. (read: I am a cheapskate.)
I could discuss that somehow, despite my 3 pieces of birthday cake last week and the fact that I ate my entire dinner at Blue Marlin this weekend, I have managed to lose 2 more pounds, making a grand total of 12 pounds lost. Woot! Woot! It was so freakin' good. Worth every penny of the $25. Mmmm...tilapia.
I could discuss how I bought a fake engagement ring to keep (future) nasty drunk bar guys and my stalker away from me. It looks like the one on the left.
Look, people, if I'm going to pretend I'm engaged, I'm going to pretend. It's not quite that big. But it's the same setting. Let's just say that if it were real, I'd be a very happy girl. So far, it's working.
I could discuss how a very good friend of the family got knocked up. She's 24. Yeah. Big oops. It's somewhat of a scandal, considering the boyfriend is a jerk and they probably aren't going to stay together or get married. Her parents are trying to get her to give it up for adoption, because she just graduated college and doesn't make a lot of money (you know how those entry-level jobs are). The boyf certainly isn't going to stick around. So she's on her own. She thinks her friends are going to help her out (like Rachel on Friends), but they have to work, too. And on weekends, they are going to want to party, not babysit. She doesn't want to give the baby up. I don't know if I could, either, if I were her. She's trying to take responsibility for her actions, which I can understand. But I can also understand why her parents want her to give it up. Somewhere out there is a couple who wants a baby more than anything. A couple who has time to be with the baby. A mom who has a good husband who can help her out. I just don't know what the right choice is. It's a tough call.
On that note, can I just say how GRATEFUL I am that I didn't get knocked up by Repo? Holy cow, I will be forever grateful for that. Can you imagine him as a father? *rolls eyes* The baby would starve or have a constant diaper rash because he's too lazy to take care of it. Actually, come to think of it, I'm really glad I haven't gotten knocked up by any of my exes. If I had to choose, I'd pick Big Ex. He's a good guy. We just met at the wrong time. He'd be a fantastic dad, too.
Wow. That's a weird question to ask yourself. I hadn't really thought about that before now. Which ex, if you had to pick, would you want to father your kids?
I could discuss how I have a zillion errands to run, thanks to all my friends' birthdays this week. I have 2 cakes to bake, 3 presents to buy, dry cleaning to drop off, more things for my Big Secret Project to complete, gym trips that MUST be made, somehow I have to get to the bank, pay the bills, find time to clean my room, finish watching DVDs that need to be returned....argh. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends. I love being busy. I am just feeling frazzled. Did I mention I might be going to Charleston this weekend? So add to that: packing and driving Mystery Gas car.
All this thinking is making me sleepy. I'm going home and taking a nap. Then I will tackle my to-do list. Later peeps!
12 comments:
Just tell K to send Hot Neighbor up to the shower next time.
Problem solved.
I can vouch for all that's been said about divorced daddies. We're too young, sassy, and fabulous to deal with it. Make life less socially complicated for yourself!
VB - don't forget to practice the art of the "ring-slip-off", in case a gentleman you acttually WANT to talk to you pays a visit. :) Or with your luck with HN, he'll surprise you with a visit just as you get used to it and forget it's on.
btw, what kind of cakes will you be baking this week? And when will we know about the super-duper-double-crazy-secret project?
In my experience recently divorced guys are horny and angry. But I guess it depends on the circumstances of the divorce.
how frustrating missing hot neighbour ... stop showering forfucksake.
i totally cannot even find an ex from the collection that could keep a pet fed and watered, let alone offspring. dammit.
I would hope that none of my exes fathered my children... that would be super creepy.
Now if I had to pick one to be the mom... I'd pick Chicago. She's one of those women who was born to be a mother.
Thats too bad that you missed HN twice this weekend. With all of these stories about HN, it makes me wish I had one also! I am sure that would make everything a little more interesting.
Your car needs to go... I need one, and would be happy to take it off your hands :)
I know that there are folks out there that play the wedding ring game... makes me wonder exactly how many there are out there on the average night.
I am going to try posting a comment. I am not sure if this will work or not.
Long time reader, first time poster . . . I think the fake engagement ring is hilarious. I just wonder how many guys will actually be encouraged by this instead of put off. Being a man, there is that certain element of challenge in pursuing someone that was engaged. Last roll in the hay, she would not be looking for committment. I know that sounds bad, but don't some women find married men more appealing?
When I was married, I had more women hit on me than when I was single. Maybe I need to break out a fake wedding band!!!! Maybe I need a fake wife and kid!!! I'll probably just stick with a puppy.
RWA-- best. idea. ever. i will add that to my list of hot neighbor fantasies.
behind the curve-- yeah, but i am powerless to stop checking him out! do you see what i have to work with at the bars??? losers on parade, i am telling you!
single guy-- trust me, i remember to take it off! i will probably be baking one chocolate cake and one other cake. don't know what kind yet. carrot, maybe? and as far as the super duper secret project is concerned, it will be a couple of months before i can reveal it on here. email me and i can give you the scoop.
M-- your comment was too funny! that made me laugh. i think he's on good terms, though. he doesn't seem too angry...just a little lonely. and horny. i hope. i hope. i hope.
joie-- trust me, i have thought about not showering anymore! LOL!
stuck-- how did i know you'd say that? :)
scott-- oh, it does! i jump everytime the doorbell rings. and PLEASE steal my car!!! i would love that.
pawley's island-- hey! thanks for commenting. someone else said that to me-- maybe i'd be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. but we will see.
and NO, this girl does NOT find married/engaged men more appealing. that is the ultimate "Do Not Pass Go" to me. wouldn't touch the guy with a ten foot pole.
i'm wondering if you only THOUGHT they were hitting on you, when really, since you were married, you were just less of a threat, so they felt more comfortable around you.
i am being devil's advocate. i'm sure they were just flirting with you because you're charming and attractive. all my readers are. :)
my advice? stick with the puppy. most women i know would be pretty angry to find out you made up a fake family. ;)
Nice shoes!
Love the fake engagement ring! That's too funny...:-D
Whoa now..."hot neighbor fantasies"?????
Oh my...
On a separate note...there is absolutely nothing at all with saying (or typing) "y'all."
That's tough for your friend who got pregnant. I think that if she feels like she wants the baby, she should. If she gives it up, she might be really sad about it later...that's not an easy or fun decision to make.
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