Monday, April 09, 2007


Time for me to bore you with my weekend update. Friday was another wonderful evening with the lovely Happy Hour Girls. We all caught up on our "mens" -- or in my case, lack thereof.

Saturday morning, K and I made breakfast for Navy Guy using my new griddle. We had french toast just like Czarina's, scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. (Ever had turkey bacon? Dude, it's good. Try it.) Mmmmm....every day should start with a heaping dose of fat, salt, maple syrup and orange juice. (Diet? Who's on a diet? I don't know anyone...)

Saturday afternoon, I went with MJ and KT to a car show. I didn't realize she was such a big fan of cars...too bad the show was pretty small. We did see some cool cars, though. Then, in keeping with our nostalgic theme of the day, we went to Steak n Shake. For those of you who are not familiar with this restaurant, let me send you some virtual sympathy. You poor, poor thing. Get in your car and drive to the nearest one. Whadda ya mean it's 8 hours away? I said go. Don't worry, you will forget all about the drive as soon as you get a long, cool sip of one of their hand-scooped milkshakes. Mmmmm....

MJ and KT had never been, so I had to enlighten them. It's a 1950s-style burger/fries/shake kind of chain restaurant. I love them because:

1. They have fantastic milkshakes.
2. Their burgers have crispy edges and lots of big pickles.
3. Their chili is awesome on a cold day.
4. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And now they take Visa.

They are everywhere in Indiana (sort of like how there's a Waffle House on every corner in SC), so going there always takes me back to Friday nights in high school, when every teenager in a 15 mile radius would descend on the poor staff of the local Steak n Shake. In college, I would meet up with friends there to talk and smoke for hours on end. So I have a lot of great Steak n Shake memories. They don't exist in Virginia, so I was very excited to see one when I moved here. I am the envy of my family, to be exact. The Belle family loves S&S.

After gorging ourselves on burgers and milkshakes (diet? what diet?), we hit some thrift stores. After looking at old furniture that looked like something from Grandma's house, we discovered a box of (get this) 8 tracks! I can't even remember the last time I have seen one. I think I was about 7 years old.

I ended up falling asleep on my couch on Saturday night -- wow, how exciting. I watched Best in Show before passing out, though. It was very disappointing. There are a couple of characters I liked (the gay couple and the yuppie couple were hysterical), but otherwise, this movie was lame.

Sunday, I cleaned the disgusting pig-hole known as my house. I cleaned all. day. long. I think I went through about 15 sheets on my lint roller. (It's dog hair city at my place.) I watched Mean Girls as I cleaned. I had forgotten how funny that movie is! By dinnertime, I was too tired to make anything and too grungy to go out to eat. So K and I got a pizza. (Diet? I don't know what you're talking about.) Well, eventually, anyway. It turns out, my house is located in the only part of town that Papa John's won't deliver to. If you go 15 minutes in any direction from my house, you can get to a Papa John's. But none of them will deliver to my house. I don't live in a bad neighborhood, just outside of their little delivery area. I thought this was bulls--t, and I *ahem* said so. Because, last I checked, pizza delivery guys could use the money. And I would swear on all things holy that they have delivered to my house before. But whatever. I just drove up to the Domino's around the corner, waited 10 minutes (for a far inferior, yet cheaper, take-out pizza) and got over it.

But Papa is on my list, now. He'd better be glad I don't have any mafia connections.

I haven't told you about my dream I had! Ok, it's so sad to say this, but it was practically the highlight of my weekend.

I had a dream that I had sex with Julian McMahon!!!! Yeah! It was awesome. Well, ok, I think it was awesome. I don't remember the actual sex part. (Maybe it was so good, my memory just couldn't handle it? And so it blocked it out??) My recollection starts when he gets up to go take a shower after we do it. I am removing my clothes (yeah, I don't get it either--maybe we had been too into it to bother with clothing removal?), telling him I'll be joining him in the shower in just a second (RAWR!) when I look over at his dresser.

There's a thing of woman's deodorant sitting on the dresser. And it's not mine. The asshole is too
dense/arrogant to even hide the most obvious piece of evidence of another woman.

That's the end of the dream -- me, naked, holding some other woman's deodorant.

How sad is it that I even have cynical dreams???? *sigh*

Ok, enough fooling around. I know why you're here. You are expecting some kind of Hot Neighbor update, aren't you? Something about lasagna, or me doing some weeding in my front yard, wearing nothing but a bikini. You want me to say that he and I had wild, hot, dirty monkey sex on his living room floor, don't you? Or that he's taking me out to dinner next Saturday.

You'd probably even settle for me saying something optimistically cliche about fate, or waiting for things to happen at the right time, or taking my life into my own hands and making things happen, not living in fear of rejection, that kind of thing. Am I right?

Well, sorry folks. The only Hot Neighbor update I have for you is this: He was gone most of the weekend. Right up until Sunday night, when the Wednesday Skank pulled into his driveway in her shiny, new convertible.

Wednesday Skank -- 2, Virginia Belle -- 0

Game over, folks.


Virginia Belle said...

if you left a comment on the last post, i just replied to it in the comments.

everyone made excellent points, btw. single guy blogging totally gets me!

RWA said...

Pizza, huh? That's what we had last night too. And what was supposed to be 30 minutes, according to the Pizza Hut operator, turned into an hour and 15 minutes. Ugh.

The Frog Princess said...

Oh VB! I'm totally lusting after Steak n Shake now which sucks because there isn't one in this whole friggin' state. Not to mention Waffle Houses....*SIGH* Thank goodness I'll be heading south in a few months! In the mean time, do me a favor and go have a chocolate shake for me!

Behind The Curve said...

A song for HN:

There is a boy who's so retarded, and Lame-O was his name-o.


and Lame-O was his name-O.

M said...

I LOVE Steak and Shake! I eat there almost every weekend. I am soooo addicted.

Anonymous said...

Steak & Shake is very tasty. This is one of many reasons I miss Columbia. Rush's is not too bad either. As far as W.S., I do not think you have very much to worry about. Her car was probably purchased by "Daddy." Her Lilly dress and over-sized sunglasses simply mask her shallow existence. I think HN is probably flaunting this new girl in your face to make you jealous. He is just using her to get to you, which is obviously working. While I think you need to do more flirting with him, I do not think you should ask him out. That is just a sign of desperation on your part. Real Southern Women don't have to stoop to that. This has ruined most men. Women have probably asked HN out in the past and now he is spoiled by that. He needs to work for a woman as great as you. As a Southern Gentleman, I always asked out a woman. I never would wait on her. Call me old-fashion but that is the way it should be.

Matilda Jane said...

I think you get three strikes. This just looks like a point for an amazing comeback. No balls, two strikes... BATTER UP!

Phantom Hater said...

You're doing major over-analyzation, which might be interfering with the signals you are sending out to HN. He's into you to some degree, obviously, so just deal with that. He just apparently isn't ballsy enough to ask you out. Awkward initial conversations definitely don't add much to the chemistry.

Speaking of chemistry--VB throws out a few "I'm interested in you" signals. HN picks up on these, asks her out. At the worst, VB agrees and they have a friendly neighborly lunch date or something. Insecurity on both sides.

I personally would rather avoid any kind of relationship with a neighbor, because if it sours, you've got to see that person every day when you get your mail. Plus, you seem to have a nice HN fantasy going, which could be better than the real thing.

Single guy blogging said...

awww... geesh, thanks VB, I'm really blushing! :)

Ok, after that description of a steak n shake, I need to get me some soon! Closest locations: Texas, Oklahoma, or Kansas. Is it time for a road-trip yet??

BTW, you do your weeding in a bikini? Damn.. maybe I should find the steak n shake closer to VA! :)

Scott said...

Never have had the Steak and Shake, although I have heard about it before. Maybe next time I am over on the 'right coast'.

Anyways, I agree with what you are doing about HN. If he comes to his senses he'll be over!

The Dummy said...

Hey, I just had pizza too! We may not have Steak n Shake, but we have BJs, which has this really yummy cookie and ice cream thing called a pizzookie. Think fresh baked gooey cookie in a personal sized pizza pan, topped with vanilla ice cream...mmm.

If you ever come to San Diego, the g/f and I are gonna take you there.

Fluffycat said...

How come it wasn't that Julian McMahon uses women's deodorant? Because I could totally see him doing that for some reason.

Sucks about HN but he doesn't know what he's missing.

Virginia Belle said...

RWA -- noooo! that's terrible! don't they understand the urgency of pizza cravings???

frog princess -- will do!!! they are sooooooooo gooooooooooood!!!

BCOL-- i love you. that made me laugh and now i sing it in my head every time i see him!!! thank you!!!

M-- yeah, it's very addictive. not so good for the ol' diet, though...

pawley's -- somehow, without ever laying eyes on her, you managed to describe the Wednesday Skank perfectly! and yes, i do need to be a little flirtier. thank you for understanding and valuing the old-fashioned courtship rituals i hold so dear. good to know some guys still operate that way. i also think i'm worth it! jeez, i'm not asking for the moon....

MJ-- no balls. tell me about it. yeah, that's a good way to think about it. i'm at bat, definitely.... i was always a decent batter, actually.....

PH-- you make good points, as usual. the awkwardness on both of our parts is definitely a hurdle. and yes, the fantasy could be better than the real thing...that's a thought that has crossed my mind. but that's all easy for you to say when you've never seen his fine ass. (seriously. great ass.) *sigh* like billy madison, i am reciting, "so hot. want to touch the heiny..."

SGB-- you're welcome! and yes, S&S is perfect road trip food. i haven't done any gardening in my bikini yet, but it would probably get HN's attention, right? LOL

scott-- thank you! yeah, it's not like he doesn't know how to get in touch with me!

dummy-- pizzookie???? mmmm...*drools*

fluffycat-- NO! Julian would never use women's deo!!!! he uses something expensive and sexy smelling, i am sure. please don't ruin the only celebrity fantasy i have!!! i'd rather have him be a philanderer! LOL

and yes, HN has no idea what he's missing. i have a lot to offer!!

Lynn-e said...

Oh my, I left the Midwest for the Northwest and had forgotten about S&S until reading this. Damn. Now I've got a craving.