WANTED: 100% single women, between 25-35 years of age, who live in Savannah, GA and are interested in participating in PG-13 level shenanigans with woman of similar mindset. Shenanigans may include, but are not limited to: laughing, dancing, happy hours, flirting with cute boys, making out with cute boys, shopping, brunch/coffee dates, talking on the phone, watching reruns of Sex and the City, getting pedicures. Hipsters and goody-two shoes need not apply. Preference given to former sorority girls who have experience in the aforementioned shenanigans.
Here it is, another Saturday night, and I am alone. Is it just me, or is making friends way more difficult after college? I think I have blogged about this before...I'll try and keep this brief.
St. Patty's Day is in full swing, and the city is crawling with fun, young people, and I am dying to be one of them. I want to laugh and flirt and dance...but instead, my only choices are to watch tv with my dog or be the weird girl who is out at a bar by herself. Stone cold sober, I might add, which makes fitting into the debauchery that much more difficult. (If anyone has mastered the art of going out alone, please teach me your ways!)
I believe there are 2 main contributing factors to my problem.
1. I keep moving around too much. It takes time to make good friends, and my favorite party buds are all in Columbia, SC right now. (They couldn't make it down here for St. Patty's Day)
2. I have not been making as much of an effort to make friends here in Savannah as I probably should. Don't get me wrong -- I love my coworkers and I love my Bible Study friends. But neither group is into doing what I'm into doing at the moment. I am not a hipster (like all my coworkers) and I definitely do not want a family-friendly, G-rated evening (like my Bible Study friends). I am envisioning a slightly tamer version of the frat parties I attended while in college. Where do sorority girls go when they grow up??? Oh yeah, they get married. Right. I sorta skipped that part. Note to self: get married so you don't care about frat parties any more.
I cannot be the last single, 30 year old (ok, ok, 32 year old) non-hipster in this town (seriously, y'all, Savannah is Hipster Central) who wants to snog with cute boys in dark corners and dance to hip hop songs with her girlfriends.
I'm too fratty for the hipsters and too bad girl for the BS crowd. Sometimes I feel like I live a double life. I can't really be myself around any of my friends.
I know there are girls out there like me. I just can't find them! Argh. So frustrating. To make matters worse, my own mother has a booming social life -- AND a boyfriend. Something about that doesn't seem quite right. She's always been super duper social butterfly, and I have always considered myself one to a lesser extent. Put me in a room full of talking people and I can hold my own -- even inter-generationally. For me, the hard part is finding the room. I know what to do when I get there!
Guys have it so much easier when it comes to this problem. "So, how do you like them Yankees?" is all they seem to need to become instant buds with someone. Girls aren't as open. I wish we would stop acting like that. Would it kill women to be a little bit friendlier? In this day and age, we need girlfriends more than ever. Why not invite the girl who complimented your shoes to sit with your friends at the bar? Why not introduce your group to the group next to you? Isn't it a "the more, the merrier" situation? What's with all the snarkiness and competition? That's got to be my least favorite thing about my gender. Why can't we just be cool and friendly? I should wear a shirt that says, "Trust me, I don't want your man. I just want to have brunch with you so we can recount the previous night's girly debauchery."
I'm kind of worried that I may have a touch of my dad's personality when it comes to friends. We used to tease him, because if you were to stick all of his friends into a room, it would be a random assortment of people -- very few of them would have anything in common. Luckily for him, he was much more comfortable being a loner than I am. Plus, it's hard to feel lonely when you have a wife and 7 kids. My dad would have a deep connection with each one of his friends, but only in one way. That's kind of how I am -- I have one friend for X, another friend for Y, a third friend for Z. I wish I could find a friend that covers the whole alphabet! Where are the Samantha, Charlotte and Mirandas to my Carrie? (Not that I'm a Carrie...I'm probably closer to Charlotte, actually.) My mom's friends are all whole-alphabet friends and they've known each other for like, 40 years-- ever since high school/college. This is incredible to me. I don't even talk to my college friends anymore, let alone high school. Then again, they are all in Chicago and married with babies, so really, what do we have in common? I feel I'm a completely different person now than I was then.
Anyway, no point in moping around about this. I need a plan of action. Time to join some clubs or start new activities. Or at least go to restaurants/bars I don't normally go to. And I have to force myself to talk to people with out fear -- otherwise, I will go into shy, silent mode. No one wants to hang out with Silent Girl. (This is one of the reasons why I always feel so comfortable around funny people -- they totally break the ice for me.)
Oh well. At least I won't get barfed on or have to deal with annoying drunk people tonight. And I won't wake up smelling like cigarettes. That makes me feel better.
Man, what I wouldn't give for one last frat party right now....and a wholly single (no hubby, no fiance, not even a boyfriend) non-hipster, non-Bible Study gal pal to go with!
Until then, I'll be singing along to this...which makes me giggle, so that helps!
Thanks for listening to my whining, as usual. I'll try not to be Pity Party Girl next time.