If you are not familiar with these and want to read the first 6, see my sidebar. Scroll all the way down. See 'em? Ok. Come back here when you're done.
Holy cow, I haven't done one of these in.....forever. But I've wanted to do one, it's just taken me a while to come up with some good questions. Are they any good? I guess I'll find out soon. Here goes.
1. Men: Now that it's been determined that more women than ever are living without a husband*, do you think it's true that men feel they have nothing to offer the modern woman? Are you thinking, "What can I offer her? She has it all already."?
I think that this is probably another manipulation of statistics put forth by the media. A lot of women (especially those from the Baby Boomer generation) are living longer than their husbands, and so they are now widows. Thanks to modern medicine, they are living as widows even longer than before.We all know men kick the bucket before women do. So these widows are being counted into this 51%. Remember that these statistics are also including divorcees, so it does not mean 51% of women are single/have never been married. But I am betting that the single/never-been-married women numbers are on the rise, too.
What I want to know is this: are men feeling threatened by independent, self-sufficient women? Are we not getting dates because men feel they would only be a burden to us? Are women shooting themselves in the foot by having and doing it all? (Don't get me wrong, I think it's cool. Just playing devil's advocate here.)
2. Strictly a curiosity question: When do men wear jock straps? Only when they are putting themselves at risk for injuries to their balls? Wait, I guess that would be a cup. Wait, are cups the same thing as a jock strap? Are they sold as a set? And the cup is an insert, much like a pad in a push-up bra? How about when they run--does the jock strap serve as a sports bra would for women? I would think it would be important to wear one. Men worry about saggy balls, right? And if they don't, let me tell ya, they should be. Because, ew. Do they come in sizes like bras do? Are they shaped like briefs or thongs? Although it sounds crazy, I bet the thong-style jock strap would be more supportive. So I am curious about male undergarments. Someone please explain this to me.
3. What makes a man/woman unapproachable? Can you smell desperation? Do high-maintenance women have a certain aura? What about bitches? What about men who live with their parents still? Is your decision to approach based on timing? Like if you've had a bad day, you don't talk to her? Do you have any rules for when/how/deciding whether to approach someone?
Or, if you are an old-fashioned gal like me, what determines your decision to let a guy hit on you vs. telling him to go...well, you know. (Not that I say that. I'm a lady. Usually. And not that I get a lot of practice with guys hitting on me. I don't. In fact, I'm having quite the little dry spell right now. Let's not talk about it, ok? Just answer my question.)
Let me think about my answer. *VB utilizes her over-active imagination* I'm at a bar, with my girlfriends. (Or, if I'm daydreaming, I'm at the bookstore, alone--I've always wanted to meet a guy in a bookstore. We have a laugh over some weird funny book, he buys me coffee, we discover a mutual love of jellybeans...but I'm rambling now, so...) Two guys approach me and begin to flirt madly with me. (See? I told you it was over-active.) The guy who gets to approach me and avoid getting a knee in his crotch and get my number has the following characteristics:
*he's funny (this is a deal-breaker if he can't make me laugh--there's a reason why this is #1 on my list)--bonus points if he can make fun of himself
*he's smart and well-educated
*I feel safe around him
*he has a job at which he works hard and exhibits some ambition (those guys who are going to have the same job, forever? bor-ing!)
*he seems mature, polite and kind (all kind of the same thing, really)
*he seems happy, confident and interesting (I think these things go hand-in-hand)
*I'm reasonably attracted to him
*he is not drunk or high (I've got such high standards, right?)
*he is not blowing smoke up my ass (this can cover any number of things...)
*he is apparently single and straight
Everything else is just gravy, really. If he has all these traits and the cojones to approach me, he'll probably get my number if he asks for it. Jeez, what am I saying. If I see a guy who seems to exhibit most of these qualities from across the room, I might just "accidentally" bump into him. Hard. And cop a cheap feel. Right on his hot ass. Yeah, baby.
At the very least, he'll probably catch me checking him out. Twice. And smiling and waving.
And he won't get shooed away or blown off if he's funny, interesting and smells good. I might not give him my number, but I sure will talk to him all night. Which definitely increases his chances of growing on me.
Things which would cause me to flee to the ladies' room (and if necessary, climb out the ladies' room window) in order to escape include:
*guys who cannot keep their hands to themselves (major pet peeve of mine)
*guys who seem bitter or angry, especially at women
*guys who need to carry their egos in a suitcase or seem to have lost their self-confidence entirely in a baggage mishap at the airport (moderation is key in this department!)
*guys who make it seem pretty obvious they only want to know me in one way, and that way would be horizontally.
*guys who are going nowhere with their lives and don't really seem to care
*guys who aren't "into" anything. Hobbies are good, people. Yes, even hockey. I can live with it.
*guys who can't accept the fact that I. Do. Not. Drink. Alcohol. Ever. No. Not. Even. On. New. Year's.
*guys who are obviously with a woman (I'm not interested in applying for the "Other Woman" position! Go find a drunk slut to do that!)
*guys who have the maturity of a 12 year old
*clingy, desperate types, especially if they are trying to put me on a pedestal! I am not perfect. I cuss like a truck driver. I can be over-dramatic, sometimes to the point that I annoy myself. I'm a total bitch when I'm tired. I like cigarettes. I am overweight. I take eons to get ready. I have judgemental tendencies. I hate the outdoors. These are all things that I feel are fairly obvious, especially in a bar. I don't know why people don't see these things.
Then again, maybe they can, and that's my problem lately!
Re-reading this is making me wonder if I am high-maintenance. If my standards are impossibly high. Am I asking too much? (I guess that is question #4?)
Ah, nothing like your own blog posting to help you figure yourself out. It's sort of like self-therapy, isn't it? And yet so much cheaper.....
What do you think? *in Cawfee Tawlk voice* Discuss amongst yourselves!
*If you want the whole article, go visit your local public library. They can get it for you for free. Don't pay for it online. Your tax dollars already do that.