Changes, Part 1

Well? What do you think? No, not her. The font change. It's easier to read, isn't it? It's not as cute, though. I'm trying it out for a while. I was getting tired of the same-ol' thing. I will try and make some more changes gradually. New year, new look.

And no, that is not me. But it does give you a hint about the theme of this post.

What I really wanted to change today was my ridiculously long blogroll (see sidebar). I was hoping I could just put a link over there to my subscriptions on Bloglines, but I can't figure it out, because Bloglines wants to know my username, and all I know to put in is my email address, which doesn't work. (Note: This is where all my highly intelligent, extremely attractive and helpful readers tell me how to do this....)

By the way, if you are on beta (and by "you", I mean Anny and MJ and anyone else I may have missed), for some reason Bloglines is not picking up your feeds, which means I may not be reading your posts, because I normally only read my Bloglines feeds.

Ahem.

I said I may not be reading your posts.

Whatever will you do without my highly-opinionated comments? I'm sure your life depends on it.

Actually, maybe it's a blessing for you....maybe you switched to beta to get away from me...

*Realization sets in*

*Sobs into hands*

I won't think about that right now. Instead, I will get to the main purpose of this post: I have a new project. I am calling it: 40 Pounds to Freedom. (A gold star to the first person to get my reference....)

Oh, yes, ladies and gentlemen. I am talking about that ever-so-cliche of resolutions. I am going on a big, fat DIET. Actually, I've been on it since New Year's Day. I've already lost 2 pounds. Or three. (My scale and I cannot agree on the exact calculations, because I weigh myself every 4 hours.) This means I have 37-38 pounds to go. Until freedom.

The truth of the matter is, my current BMI falls dangerously close to the "obese" end of the spectrum, something which highly offends me. But then I thought about it (read: The Czarina lectured me about it. Again.) and realized I'm tired of looking at my closet longingly. I'm tired of the fat rolls--you know, the ones that spill out over your bra? Or the ones that gather around your waist? Ick. Hate those. I'm tired of looking like an apple on toothpicks when I wear high heels. Living in fear that someone who hasn't seen you in a long time might think you are pregnant, sick or just severely bloated is frightening. I miss my old Thin VB Self-Esteem. (I had to turn it in when I ate a gallon of ice cream in one week. Followed by an entire package of Oreos. Yeah.) It's time to begin what I like to call...(drumroll, please)...The Hot Girl Lifestyle. I'll talk more about that in a second.

So right now, my fridge is full of veggies (yipee...) and I'm trying to go to the gym every day. Gone are the drive-thrus, the candy jar and the "Oh, screw it!" attitude. Now I have weigh-ins, salad bars and an "I Can Do It!" attitude. I have learned that the more people you tell, the easier it is to be motivated. The only thing worse than being the "dieter" who shoves a Hostess cupcake down their gob is the cupcake-shoving dieter who has told everyone and their uncle that they are on a big health kick. I guess I am motivated by the belief that other people are as judgemental as I am.

To prove my determination, I am joining some of my coworkers in a communal diet, free of breakfast Krispy-Kremes and homemade baked items. We are proverbially holding hands and jumping into the deep end of healthy living. Gone are the candy, the cakes, the take-out Mexican food. Oh how I will miss them...Now we take walks and go to the gym.

I have also joined in on DD's Blogwide Workout. Together, we are reporting the number of times we hit the gym every week. For good or for bad, our little circle is there for support. It's easy and free, so if you'd like to join, just head on over! I am proud to say that I have been 3 times this week already. Go moi. Nothing motivates like the expectations of others.

I am looking forward to the freedom brought by my weight loss. (Hence the name, 40 Pounds to Freedom.) I will be free to wear anything I own. Free to feel confident again. Free from feeling gross and guilty about what I eat. Free from worrying if the cute guys won't talk to me because I'm too fat. (Soon I will know it's because of my personality! Process of elimination, right?)

Ha ha. Ok, that isn't funny...but it does bring me to another point I'd like to make. That is, I have almost always lost weight in the hopes of attracting men. Not that it hurts my chances, but we all know: you have to lose it for yourself. And since I never have, it has always come back. You can't lose weight to get a guy or to keep a guy. It doesn't work. I can say this with conviction, because I've been on both sides of the coin: I was skinny and I was dumped. I was fat and my heart was broken. So really, there is absolutely NO connection between your love life and the number on the scale.

That is why I am losing my weight for ME and no one else. Losing weight doesn't guarantee that I'll have men crawling all over me. (But it can't hurt, right??) I am losing this weight because I'm living a very unhealthy lifestyle right now (um, hell-o, you can't have a 9pm Ice Cream Appointment and still be thin, VB!). I need to get serious. No more cigarettes (Pray for me, y'all!!). No more couch potato stuff. I am losing weight so I can live longer than my dad did. He never took care of himself. I don't want to follow in his footsteps.

So that's what's going on. I am going from this girl...(notice how delicious the chocolate looks. Mmmm...chocolate...)



To this girl...(notice how her nose is not in the refrigerator, but pointed directly at the camera, in a "Come here, big boy!" kind of way.)

So wish me luck! And pass dieting tips and encouragement my way! If I stick to it, I will try and do a HNT for y'all. Woo-hoo! I know you're excited. Now don't mess up your pants, it's going to take a while. Until then, pretend I look like her.