Friday, July 25, 2008


Well, after three verbal requests and a nasty email, I was a little pissed to see that my manager at Dildo's was still ignoring my request for a weekend off. When I got to work on Wednesday, she hadn't even so much as given me a courtesy reply to my email. Not even a "I will have to see about this. I will talk to you later about it." -- I got nothing. Nada. [insert rage and frustration here.]

I knew she hadn't left work yet, so I paged her. No reply. I knew she was ignoring me. [insert more rage and frustration here.]

About a half hour later, I see her, trying to sneak away by taking the long way around the jewelry department. It was raining, and she even had the nerve to sort of hold her umbrella in front of her face. As if I'm not going to know it's her!!! ARGH.

"Heather!" I shouted, accusingly. She was so busted. She stopped, put down the umbrella, and glared at me.

"I need to talk to you about my schedule," I continued, unfazed. "I'm tired of this. I need a weekend off. And why didn't you reply to my page?"

"Technically, I'm not here right now," she snapped back. Ohhhhhh, no she didn't!!! I have talked to her numerous times, and she keeps blowing me off, and NOW she's copping an attitude with ME??? That little fresh-outta-college snooty ass bitch! She is going DOWN. I am so sick of her making time in her day to flirt with one of the other managers but never making time to do her fucking job.

Then she told me that I need to realize that not everyone gets a weekend off every month. Some people just don't get one, sometimes.

I replied, "Yeah. I know. I'm one of them. But I need this weekend off."

I did not appreciate her attitude or her bullshit. Almost everyone else in the department gets their weekends off with no problem. But for me and a couple other people, we have to pull teeth. It makes no sense.

"Fine," she said, halfway rolling her eyes. "Just take it."

"Thank you," I replied. Heather left.

I was so pissed off at the way she had just acted, I almost walked out right then and there. If it weren't for a special sale going on today, I probably would have just quit on the spot. But there's some jewelry I want to I will work tonight.

Over my luxurious weekend off, I will think about whether or not I will return to Dildo's on Monday. I might. I might not. Maybe I will "forget" to come in. Or perhaps I will, but I will "technically not be there." AAAARRRGH.

I am really crossing my fingers that I will hear SOON about whether or not I get to teach this class. I don't know how much longer I can put up with Dildo's. Maybe I can hang in there for two more weeks...

Speaking of timelines, I talked to The Czarina the other day. Now, a lot of people have a hard time understanding why she drives me nuts, but if they knew the crazy things that she says to me, they would understand. This is basically how our phone conversation went:

Mom: So, how is CN?

VB: He's fine! Wonderful as usual.

Mom: That's good. He's such a nice guy. I do like him.

*Relief on my end of the line.*

[Little do I know, she's just setting me up. That was her idea of a warm up to what she really wanted to lecture me about.]

Mom: So, have you two talked about marriage yet?

Oh Jezus. Here we go....

VB: *trying desperately to think up an urgent reason to get off the phone.* Not really, Mom. No.

Mom: Well, you know, you might want to put him on a timeline. You don't want to waste any more time. I mean, if he's never going to pop the might just want to break it off.

[Nevermind that doing so would make me totally miserable, but apparently, this is beside her point. And I love how all the time I've spent dating him has been a 'waste' of time.]

VB: Mom, we're fine. We have had a couple of conversations in that direction. He asked a lot of questions about my roommate's engagement. And we talked about kids once.

Mom: *hissing* Well, don't bring it up! You want it to be his idea! Let me tell you, you don't want a man who doesn't have to marry you. All that stuff should be his idea! It all needs to come from him! He needs to really really want to marry you.

VB: Ok, Mom. I get it. Yes, I agree. I don't want to browbeat him into it or anything. I'm not really an ultimatum kind of girl.

Mom: Ok, well stop bringing up wedding stuff. Don't even mention it around him.

VB: *rolling my eyes* Ok, Mom. We haven't even been dating a year yet. Everything is fine.

Mom: Ok, well, I love you, hon. I'll talk to you later.

VB: I love you, too, Mom. Bye.

Is anyone else wondering how it is fair to put CN on a "timeline" without informing him about this timeline? Doesn't seem quite fair, does it? It's like she's saying, "He needs to marry you soon. But don't talk about marriage." WTF? That doesn't make any sense! That's like yelling at someone for not taking out the trash, when they didn't even know the trash was full in the first place. Even though you knew the trash was full the whole time. It's like expecting someone to read your mind. And it's not fair.

And nevermind that he and I may not be ready for all of that yet! I love how she never asks me how I feel about this idea. Apparently, I don't need to think about it or decide anything for myself. It's all about how CN feels. A marriage conversation is totally one-sided, I guess. We know there would be no hold up on my end. I must be ready. I'm a girl. I want to be married yesterday. (Ok, I guess I can't really argue with the last statement...let's be honest, here.) But good grief! Like I need any pressure from my mother!!! We'll get there when we get there!

She's acting like women have to trick men into marrying them or something. And that's not what I'm all about. At all. If CN turned to me today and said, "I don't want to get married for another 8 years." I would be ok with it. Obviously, I wouldn't be super excited about it, because I would like to get married before I'm 40, in all honesty. But that's not something I would break up over. I would still want to be with him, even if he took his sweet ass time. I'm trying to enjoy the ride, not set an egg timer.

Jeezus! What is with her advice lately?? This is almost as bad as the time she told me I should go to medical school:

"Why, Mom? I don't want to be a doctor. I don't even want to be in the medical field. That's a helluva lot of debt. And besides, I have a weak stomach. Why on earth would I do that?" I replied.

"Duh!!! So you can meet and marry a doctor, Virginia!" she replied, frustrated. I swear, if she had been sitting closer to me, she would have thunked me in the head.

Do you see what I have to put up with?? My mother is crazy!


GrewUpRural said...

I am very lucky, my mom doesn't give me her opinion unless I ask for it. And when I ask her for her opinion or advice, she knows I am going to do as I please regardless of her opinion/advice. We figured this out many years ago. We are both happier now.

Lady Wanderlust said...

I worked at Dildo's for over two years, at two different stores. Can't say I miss it. I left one day and never came back. Do they still have the sexual harassment video with the shoe department drama?

Smug said...

All mom's have their issues. Mine loves ultimatium's FOR EVERYTHING! Every issue is a "do this, or I will leave you" issue. She justify's it with the "you teach people how to treat you, have some self respect" argument!

Just live your life and if she starts giving you a hard time just throw in something shocking to knock her off her train of thought!

Len said...

Okay. She IS crazy. My mom is super-dominant and everything, but at least she doesn't talk bullshit about marriage and stuff.

But she's been complaining for half a year now that I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years, because she liked him so much.

Capricorn Cringe said...

I do kind of get the timeline thing, even if I don't agree with it. But the medical school thing - now that's crazy.

If/when CN proposes, you should tell your mother that you turned him down. You know, just to hear the *thump* over the phone when she faints. :)

Virginia Belle said...

grew up rural -- you have no idea how much i envy you! i wish my mom would keep her crazy ideas to herself, sometimes!

lady wanderlust -- yes! they do! luckily, i didn't have to watch it this time, because i'm a re-hire. i would love to just never go back, but unfortunately, i have been shopping lately, and so i need the money. UGH getting a job at the mall was a BAD idea.

smug-- wow. i don't think i will ever go the ultimatum route. it's so...risky! and it makes me feel manipulative, which i don't like. i love your strategy about distracting her with something crazy, though. that would totally work. need to remember that!

len-- eh, you win some and you lose some. she'll get over it eventually. i can't really relate, though. my mom has never been really excited about any guys i date. it's one of those "no one's good enough for my baby" things. this doesn't stop her from whining about a lack of grandbabies, though. makes no sense.

capricorn cringe -- actually, she would LOVE to hear that i turned him down. she turned my dad down dozens of times. she would say, "that's great, honey! now, if he proposes again, you KNOW he means it!!" -- because apparently, there's all these men running around proposing to women, when they don't really mean to. jeez louise. i could never do that to CN. he's the kind of guy who'd be like, "OK, FINE!" and he'd dump me. LOL but i will probably just tell mom that he proposed dozens of times, just to shut her up. :)

not that i'm counting chickens or anything....*cough*

teahouse said...

Crazy moms..gahh!!!! I understand your pain.

And as for your boss the bee-yotch..geez, what's her problem??

Stella said...

It must be something in the water. Two days ago my mother went on a long tangent about finding a boyfriend.

RWA said...

I can't believe you would be so disrespectful to your manager at the department store. Shame, shame, shame...


As for your mom, didn't CN's dad push the marriage issue too? Granted, your mom had a bit "deeper" opinion on the issue.