I had originally wanted to make a list of my favorite healthy foods, but then I got smart and realized no one wants to read that, right? *crickets chirping* So that's why, instead, I present to you...
Thirteen Celebrities/Fictional Characters I Hope I Never Have to Sit Next To on a Plane
1. Carrot Top (there is a reason he's #1. Can. Not. Stand. Him.)
2. Hannibal Lecter, Dracula or anyone else who wants part of my body for their own personal consumption
3. Norman Bates or Charles Manson. Psychopaths in general.
4. Barney (obviously)
5. The alien from Aliens -- all that goo dripping onto my book? Ugh!
6. The Budweiser frogs ("Bud..." "Weis...." "Er..." x 673 = total insanity)
7. Michael Jackson (Don't feel I need to explain that one...)
8. Richard Simmons (I think I would end up suffocating him with a pillow)
9. The Energizer Bunny (OMG, can you imagine???)
10. Kim-Jong Il (I don't care how "wonewy" he is, I don't wanna sit next to him!)
11. Kathy Griffin (I'm not picking on redheads! It's just a coincidence that I don't like her!)
12. Rosie O'Donnell (She's really just a big, fat mouth with legs, isn't she? Shaddap already!!)
13. Jar Jar Binks (See #8, above)
Surprisingly, I wouldn't put any of the following on the list, because although they are annoying, they might be entertaining on a plane ride:
Paris Hilton and/or Nicole Richie (it would be fun to see just how stupid they are)
Star Jones (I'm curious to see just how much of a diva she really is!)
K-Fed (ok, who am I kidding...he's a waste of space)
Courtney Love (she'd probably be wacked out on something, which is always entertaining)
Joan Rivers (she'd be fun to talk to -- you could make fun of people together)
Matthew Lesko (he could probably hook me up with some sweet deals, at least)
The Travelocity Gnome (although those commercials are stupid, I'd probably get a great deal!)
Tom Cruise or any Scientologist (just listening to them explain the loony beliefs of their cult would make the trip go by faster!)
Who'd I miss? I know there's got to be more....
2. Hannibal Lecter, Dracula or anyone else who wants part of my body for their own personal consumption
3. Norman Bates or Charles Manson. Psychopaths in general.
4. Barney (obviously)
5. The alien from Aliens -- all that goo dripping onto my book? Ugh!
6. The Budweiser frogs ("Bud..." "Weis...." "Er..." x 673 = total insanity)
7. Michael Jackson (Don't feel I need to explain that one...)
8. Richard Simmons (I think I would end up suffocating him with a pillow)
9. The Energizer Bunny (OMG, can you imagine???)
10. Kim-Jong Il (I don't care how "wonewy" he is, I don't wanna sit next to him!)
11. Kathy Griffin (I'm not picking on redheads! It's just a coincidence that I don't like her!)
12. Rosie O'Donnell (She's really just a big, fat mouth with legs, isn't she? Shaddap already!!)
13. Jar Jar Binks (See #8, above)
Surprisingly, I wouldn't put any of the following on the list, because although they are annoying, they might be entertaining on a plane ride:
Paris Hilton and/or Nicole Richie (it would be fun to see just how stupid they are)
Star Jones (I'm curious to see just how much of a diva she really is!)
K-Fed (ok, who am I kidding...he's a waste of space)
Courtney Love (she'd probably be wacked out on something, which is always entertaining)
Joan Rivers (she'd be fun to talk to -- you could make fun of people together)
Matthew Lesko (he could probably hook me up with some sweet deals, at least)
The Travelocity Gnome (although those commercials are stupid, I'd probably get a great deal!)
Tom Cruise or any Scientologist (just listening to them explain the loony beliefs of their cult would make the trip go by faster!)
Who'd I miss? I know there's got to be more....
7 comments:
I wouldn't want to sit next to:
OJ Simpson
Dick Cheney
Tom Cruise
Dr Laura
Any Narrow Minded Leader of a Fundamentalist Religion
The Wife on Everybody Loves Raymond(she yells too much!)
Ok, I feel dumb, but..who's Matthew Lesko?
I'm sure it's someone totally obvious, and I just need to get out more.
Starr Jones, ugh.
What a great idea for a T13! Scarlett Johanssen annoys me mightily for no particular reason. Do I want to be stuck in the seat beside her so I can figure out why she grates so? Maybe. Not only would it be an opportunity for self enlightenment, it would probably mean I was in first class.
My T13 is at onegalsmusings.blogspot.com
I wouldn't mind sitting next to Hannibal Lector just as long as I wasn't forced to share his meal.
I sooo wouldn't want to come within a five mile radius of any Scientology fruit cake though..
i wouldnt want to sit next to:
1. Urkle (did i do ttthhhaaattt???)
2. that little girl in the Volvo commericals that is telling her dad about her day at school and NEVER shuts up!
3. Donald Trump, unless I can smuggle on sciccors and give him a hair cut!
4. Sara Jessica Parker - she has a horse face.
i would want to sit next to and/or on:
1. matthew machoney ... need i say more!
These people would be a no:
1. Keira Knightley - Can you imagine how FAT I would look?!?!
2. Hillary Duff - I'd be afraid that she'd try to sing to me and give me an instant headache.
These people are a yes:
1. Simon Cowell - I think him and I would hit it off instantly. If theres one thing that I love its British Wit. Also, he would come in handy if Hillary Duff was there.
2. Justin Timberlake - I would totally captivate him with my good looks and charm (HAHAHAHAHA) and then he would be mine, all mine, FOREVER!
OK can we tell I have a slight obsession here with Mr. Smooth(yes, that used to be his nickname and yes, I know this)? But no worries, I haven't reached stalker status.......yet! Hahaha. Just kidding.
I heart Richard Simmons.
teahouse~ haven't you seen those commercials (GET RICH OVERNIGHT! READ MY BOOK!) with that obnoxious guy that wears big geek-glasses and a question-mark covered lounge suit??????
I wouldn't want to sit next to him.... or Billy Mays....
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