FedSexy called me last night.
Just before I picked up, I realized that I would be incapable of repressing my anger, so I decided to go with it. The best word to describe my tone of voice? Hostile.
The conversation went like this:
V: What do YOU want?
F: Oh....what's up?
V: You tell me. I'm pretty pissed off right now.
F: What...?
V: You stood me up! Remember Friday? I deserve and explanation and an apology. Did something come up?
F: Uhh, something came up. Yeah.
V: Well, would you mind telling me what it was?
F: No, I don't think I will.
(insert shock and awe here.)
V: Ok, can I at least get an apology then?
F: Um, no. I'm not going to apologize.
(insert WTF? and VB's jaw dropping here.)
V: I thought you were different, FedSexy. I thought we had a good thing going. I have done nothing to you and I didn't deserve that. You could have at least called me to tell me you couldn't make it. I deserved a f---in' phone call at the very least!!! But I am glad I found out sooner rather than later. Now I see what kind of a guy you are.
F: Well, I'm glad I found out now, too.
V: Found out what?
F: That you're a drama queen.
(more shock and awe!)
V: If my tone of voice is a little nasty right now, I think it's pretty understandable. You pulled a real jerk move that I did not deserve. It was pretty rude and if you don't have an explanation or an apology for me, I really don't have much to say to you.
F: Ok, well, I guess I'll just talk to you later then.
V: Don't bother.
*click!* And I hung up on him.
I felt empowered and infuriated all at the same time. What an arrogant prick! Who does he think he is? And what kind of Neanderthal does something like that and feels absolutely no remorse or feels the need to explain himself? No matter what the crazy circumstances, you should apologize--you forgot, you didn't mean to, you were arrested, you fell asleep on your couch, you didn't feel like it--whatever! Just say you are sorry! You don't even have to mean it! Just say it for etiquette's sake! You can always just make up a reason why you didn't show/call. Lie to me!
Who does he think I am? He thought he could just pull a stunt like that and then acted surprised when I'm pissy the next time he called! His tone of voice indicated that he thought there was nothing wrong with his behavior and that he couldn't believe I was so upset. Does he think I'm a doormat or just really really stupid and desperate? Aaaargh, the NERVE.
But I know I did the right thing because he didn't try and talk his way out of it or stop me from believing he's an asshole. Yet another example of an Asshole in Disguise or maybe another guy who can't end relationships (thank you, NML!) so they pull some jerk move in the hopes the girl will do their dirty work for them. Wimp!
I only have four questions:
1. Do you think he will call again? (Athletic Girl and my coworkers all think he will.) If so, do I answer? Do I listen/expect anything? What if he's ready to talk/apologize?
2. What is his motivation? He hasn't gotten any--other than some smooches. He hasn't had my companionship really...he hasn't gotten anything out of this AT ALL. What is the entire point of him even meeting me? All he did was self-destruct. He made effort to establish a good thing, and then he pissed all over it. What is the point? He didn't only waste my time, he wasted his own time. That is illogical. Maybe he is a misogynist...
3. Why on earth did he feel he didn't owe me an explanation? Is he hiding something embarrassing? Illegal? Or was he just being an asshole and that was his way of telling me he doesn't owe me anything? It is a complete mystery...
4. Should I maybe have been a teensy bit sweeter on the phone? Perhaps he was witholding information because I was being pissy...?
Your thoughts/reactions, readers, please. Thank you.
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8 comments:
Delete him.
Seriously..men aren't that complicated. He's just an idiot. He probably forgot. Which means he's an idiot. Which means he's not the right guy for you. And you are fabulous and have too much else going on to let him be any more than a blip on your screen!
I agree with the others. If he calls, do not answer the phone. There is nothing that he could say now that could possibly make it better. Don't waste your time. Someone that can't own up to a mistake as obvious as this is certainly NOT worth you!
He probably won't call. That conversation spelled the death of what little was left. He'll likely move on, is my guess.
I bet it felt good to get that anger off your chest, though I wonder if a more diplomatic route would've been more fruitful.
He might wait a couple of weeks and then call, thinking you cooled off.
I would have to agree with the others, though. No second chance for this guy. Maybe whatever it was is something totally embarrassing, but he should, at the very least, apologize for not calling to let you know he wasn't able to get together Friday.
You guys have no idea how far a little sympathy/empathy goes! thank you very much--you all made me feel better. you are all right, and he is definitely past the point of no return. i won't answer if he calls again (which I don't think he will--I agree w/DD)--i'd like to see how awkward his message would be!
i don't make time for people who don't make time for me. bottom line. i deserve better than this idiotic, arrogant, irresponsible asshole.
readers, i will do my best to prevent similar men in the future, both for my sake and yours!
Don't go out with him, whether or not you answer the phone if/when he calls. He was a jerk on the phone - why give him a second chance? Consider yourself lucky it happened sooner rather than later.
Don't go out with him, whether or not you answer the phone if/when he calls. He was a jerk on the phone - why give him a second chance? Consider yourself lucky it happened sooner rather than later.
He probably will call again but his lack of explanation or apology shows a total and utter disrespect and there is no excuse for that. He stood you up but doesn't think he owes you an explanation or an apology???!!! That to me says he's a wanker. Don't empatathise or sympathise with whatever BS that he would no doubt come out with. Move on and forget it. You don't need any explanation at all. You've got one.
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