The Karma Curse

Luck is a word devoid of sense. Nothing can exist without a cause. --Voltaire

Don't mess with me. Guys who hurt me are subject to the Karma Curse. Within two weeks of hurting me, something completely random and awful will happen to them.

Examples:

The guy who broke my heart in high school went to Taco Bell a few days after dumping me. He contracted hepatitis from the food. He was too sick to go on his senior year Spring Break trip, so he had to cancel his plane/skiing tickets. They were non-refundable--and about $700. Meanwhile, I won free tickets to a concert he was dying to go to.

Another guy who was a jerk to me in high school was busted with marijuana and underage drinking soon after we broke up.

J.S. was The Biggest Jerk Ever--a liar, a cheater and a misogynist. His mom had terminal cancer last I heard. (As big of a jerk as he was, I think Karma may have gone overboard on this one.)

The Big Ex moved to Florida when we broke up and within two weeks, his car was broken into and he was cleaned out--hundreds of CDs, $200 sunglasses, MP3 player and even his cell phone (I think...I might be wrong about the cell phone...).

My point is, someone up there must love me! So think twice, guys, before hurting me. I won't getcha, but my Karma Curse will!

(I've got my fingers crossed that "FedSucksy" will shoot himself in the foot while at the police academy....)