Thursday, December 08, 2005

Hotmail Hostility

Ever meet someone and instantly get why they are single? Normally I would not quote directly from match.com emails, but this guy is such an asshole, I think he probably deserves this. Below is a word-for-word record of the emails we have had:

Him: [In reference to my being a librarian] I was wondering if you could....you know, just once....and fulfill a fantasy of mine?

Me: Does this approach usually work with women?

Him: Well, I don't know. That's a very expansive question. I'm just asking you to have a drink with me? [sic]

Me: [ignoring his misuse of basic punctuation] Actually, I don't do long distance relationships. I'm sorry. I hope you understand. [If he had read my profile, he would know this.]

Him: GFYS

Me: Ok, I don't know what your problem is, but that was really rude and uncalled for. I just don't do long distance. I'm sorry that upsets you. It wasn't my goal or anything. In case you are wondering why you are single, my guess is it's because you act like that. Grow up!

Him: Oh, how Marcia Brady of you! You see, even as a kid, I went for THE WRONG WOMEN. I think that's my problem. When my mother took me to see Snow White, everyone else fell for Snow White. I fell for the WICKED QUEEN!!!!!!!

[end of emails. Please note that he is apparently quite fond of this little Snow White bit. He says the same thing in his profile.]

So, if anyone out there can think of something really hilarious to reply with, please tell me. Although, I probably should let it go. I just can't believe his attitude. What makes guys act like this--come to think of it, what would make anyone act like this? I don't think anyone has ever told me to go F myself. I have done some jerkoff moves before, but I honestly don't think this makes the top 10 list or anything. Gosh, you'd think I killed his firstborn child. This is seriously undeserved, I think. He has some issues to work out, doesn't he? Was I rude? Why am I being punished for being honest? I do believe it's within my rights to say I don't want to fool with a long distance relationship. He should not take this personally. I don't make exceptions to this rule. I tell ya, it's a jungle out here in the land of e-dating!

7 comments:

Team Richardson said...
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Team Richardson said...
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Team Richardson said...

Let it go... a response isn't worth the effort. Think of him as part of "The Outsiders."

Want to know what the hell The Outsiders are? Check out Team Richardson's blog: Columbia Rants (shameless plug).

The XY!
Sorry for the deleted comments... I meant for them to be edits of this comment.

Stuck said...

Just to prove I can be an evil person and not this laid-back teddybear that XX claimed I was, here are some possible replies:

1) GFYS

It's childish and to the point. Or you could go with the whole Disney thing...

2) The Wicked Queen? You strike me as more the type to fall for the Prince.

3) Wow, you're the eigth dwarf: Asshole.

And then, there is the downright mean...

4) You're right, the Queen was pretty hot, but even she wouldn't indulge your sick-o little librarian fantasy. How about you read the F'ing profile next time instead of just jacking off to the picture and messaging me blindly? It clearly stated no LD relationships.

---
If it were me, though, I'd probably let it go. Replying will just give him more attention and probably more spank material. (You want to take a shower now, don't you?)

mr. helpful said...

if i were you this is what i'd say:

"then go find a wicked queen and fall for her...and leave me the hell alone"

and then dont answer any more of his emails...

--mr. helpful

The Dummy said...

I think spending any more time on a dead end is going to take time away from finding something more fruitful. You could be spending it trying to find someone better. Take the high road.

Virginia Belle said...

Oh...I love those replies Stuckey! I wish i cared more about replying because those are priceless!

I especially like the one implying he'd go for the prince. hahahaha!

DD--you are totally right. i'm not wasting any more time on this jerk.