The Country Bar

Goddamn, you play a mean banjo! --Drew, Deliverance

Remember that banjo riff from that movie? Please keep it in mind as I tell you about last night...

I went with The Blonde Nurse and some of her coworkers to Saddle Ridge, one of the newest bars here in Columbia. I'm not big on country music, but it is a great place to people watch. There are a lot of regular people there, but I think they just come to people watch the rednecks like I do. Last night didn't disappoint. Collectively, we saw: a rat tail--on a woman!, a girl with a beer gut, a redneck who looked like a homeless Eric Clapton and (drumroll, please...) a guy with one tooth. It was one of those moments I like to call "Only in South Carolina!"

There were also some cowboy hats, which I have to say, can look really hot on the right guy--you can thank Tim McGraw for that one. Yee-ha, cowboy! Surprisingly, there were no mullets that I could see. I think mullets are good luck--whenever I see one, I have a great time.

I also met a guy who allows me to add to my list of advice to men everywhere. The list is called "Don't Be This Guy." Today I add: Never ever be the guy who goes to the bars alone. And if you do, do not hit on women. Why? Think about the men who are out alone after dark...they include: taxi drivers, muggers, serial rapists and pizza delivery guys. Do you really want to be part of this group? I didn't think so. I don't care how cute or nice you are, going out to the bars alone is just wierd.*

* I did run into MIA once in this way, but he knows everyone in town, so this is the lone exception. Plus, I already knew him, so he was non-threatening.