My Stupid Car

Driving Excitement! --The Slogan for Pontiac Automobiles

I hate my car. It is my mom's old car, and it is only 4 years old. I have had terrible luck with it ever since I got it about a year ago. A month after I got it, it needed $600 worth of repairs. Then it was ok until last summer, when there were two nails in the still-fairly-new tires. The tire guy said he could not patch them. So I had to buy two new tires. Oh, and they are a special size, so the tires are $200 each.

About two months later, I was getting an oil change when the tire guy said, "Hey, did you know you need two more tires? The tread is pretty bad on these other two." Dammit. So I got the other tires replaced.

Then about two weeks after that, the engine light came on. Faaaaabulous. I took it back to the tire guy (what can I say? He's the hottest mechanic I've ever seen!) in the hopes that he could fix it. He couldn't fix it because it is something complicated, so I had to take it to a dealer. Because I love to get expensive repairs!

This is around early October by now. I have taken my car into the dealership no fewer than 8 times. Yes, eight times. Since October. I have spent about $1,000 on trying to get my car's engine light to stop coming on. No joke. Each trip in goes the same way. I tell them the engine light is on (again). They plug their little computer into the car. They say "such-and-such expensive doohickey needs to be replaced. We think." I say ok. They tell me they think they have fixed it, and I go home. Three days later, the light comes on again.

Keep in mind this has happened eight times. Each time, I am in a progressively worse temperament. Even letting me have a free rental Jag while they fix it is not cutting it anymore. (Although, I have to say, it was pretty cool to drive a "Jag-you-are" as they say in the commercials.) After about the 6th trip in, they have stopped charging me because they feel really bad. The only reason I have not driven this car into a lake is because it is already paid for, so even with all the repairs, it is still cheaper than having a car payment.

So I'm talking to Cindy, the lady who is handling my account. She is explaining to me how the mechanic can't seem to figure out what is wrong, because they will fix the part the computer is telling them to fix, the engine will give the impression that everything is ok, and then the "check engine" light will come on again after three days.

I say, "So, the car is sending mixed signals?"
Cindy says, "Yes."
I say, "Like a man?"
Cindy says, "Yes, exactly." And we have a little chuckle.

Finally, we come to the conclusion that it may be the computer itself that is messed up because it started to give out false positives about stuff that was not actually broken. They re-programmed the computer, replaced one last part and so far, I have been ok. It even made it home to Virginia for Thanksgiving without a hitch. So I think I'm in the clear. Too bad my credit card isn't.

I'm not driving excitement. I'm driving disappointment.