Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Non-Update

Greetings, readers. First, I have to say, thank you so much for your comments. (The comment I deleted was a stupid spammer.) Whomever "Anonymous" is, you are on my favorite people list now. Who knew I can be considered "hot" just for a little baking and a few smooches?? Sweet! And great advice, btw. I am currently working on having a fabulous week for that exact reason! What is that saying..."Living well is the best revenge." That will be this week's mantra.

Seriously, though, I appreciate the advice from all. As usual, my readers are far more insightful than I, probably because they are not in the relationship and therefore are able to think clearly. I on the other hand, have been a basketcase this week. Yes, it has now officially been a week. I'm not even upset anymore, just numb. I'm done! I can accept the truth! It sucks donkey-sized balls, but it's over. Time to just move along. I am smoking like a chimney to sedate my pain, though. Thank God for Phillip Morris. Man, I wish I had some vicodin! J/K.

DD, I know what you mean--technically, he did lie, but I can understand why. I don't think he intended to hurt anyone with that, and he told me pretty early on, so I took that as a sign he didn't want to deceive me about it. And it's not like he waited until late in the game to tell me. So while I'm letting that one slide, I will keep my ears perked for similar moves. One more and I will run run run. I won't fall asleep behind the wheel, trust me. My head does not come off when my top does! Ha ha!

And to Stuckey--I have been talking (or non-talking) to him for about a month now. There was a week without contact since I was at home for Xmas. Otherwise, we have been in the same town this whole time. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's too much to ask that a guy pick up the phone and ask if he can take me out to dinner on Saturday. In America, that is how dating works, especially in the beginning. Last time I checked, guys are not in the habit of calling women they aren't into. They like to call girls they like. Therefore, he is obviously not interested in me. I rest my case. Come on! It has been a week! No one is that busy. Hell, Melania is friggin' pregnant and she's married to The Donald for Pete's sake! Look, I did some work and made some effort--it's his turn. Relationships take two people, I don't care how much of a non-planner you are. Girlfriends do not just drop from the sky and fall in your lap. I know men wish for this (especially the lap part!) but you have to get your lazy duff off the couch and pick up the phone on occasion. Apparently, only my female readers understand this. What a shocker.

Athletic Girl, my roommate, agrees that it has been a long time. She is thinking that maybe something happened to him, like he is in the hospital and physically cannot call. Or he is so sick, he cannot get out of bed, and wouldn't I feel bad if that were the case? I think all her wedding planning has rotted her noggin. It seems like it's easy to make excuses for men once you don't have to worry about meeting them anymore.

But I am wondering why he bothered to tell me about the kid if he is not into me? What is the point of divulging personal info like that? I'm tempted to say that the kid info is on a "needs to know" classification. Aaarrrgh....s--t like this makes me so cynical. All that crap he said: "Oh, I'm so into you. I really like you, Virginia Belle, I don't normally warm up to people this quickly...blah blah blah." He didn't even mean a word of it! It was all bulls--t!! I really don't want to ever believe anything any man ever says to me again. They are all liars! (Except my guy friends and male readers. They rock!) I deserve a f---ing phone call! It is not too much to ask. I guess I'm pissed because I didn't do anything wrong. If I did, I don't see it. And closure? I can forget it. This is another entry into my Cold Case Files. Unsolved Mysteries of Life. You'd think that even just his hormones would make him want to call me for some smooches at the very least.

Speaking of which, this would all be sooooo much easier if he weren't such an amazing kisser....I'm going outside now for another smoke. At least it distracts my mouth for a little while. (She's taking it especially hard. Little does she know this "relationship" is dead in the water.)


Team Richardson said...

Just a few random thoughts (possibly approaching bona fide rant status) on this post:

1) If he suddenly had a few large bills to pay (or other financial obligations), taking a girl (he’s only been talking to for about a month) out to dinner falls to dead last on his list of financial priorities. That could explain the no-call deal.

2) Didn’t you say his daughter was in town for the next two weeks? I dunno, but it seems like that could explain everything.

3) Women did (and still do) fall out of the sky into my lap. I swear I get hit on at least 3x a week... AND I DON’T EVEN WEAR A WEDDING BAND (I’ve always heard women go after the guys who do)!

4) I must admit, I did spot a caution flag that I failed to warn you about over dinner last week: when you said he wasn’t that close to his daughter, but was on good terms with the mother... that’s sort of a scary sign of things to come. What kind of man doesn’t fight tooth and nail to be a major part of his child’s life? You need to have a long talk with the XX about that one... she could offer you plenty of first hand advice.

5) I totally missed the Donald Trump’s wife analogy... can you decode the womanese for me (XX is sleeping)?

6) Men don’t need excuses when dealing with you women... we ALWAYS have valid, LOGICAL reasons!


Virginia Belle said...

In reply to XY:
1. what bills? where did you get this from? my beef isn't so much that i want to be taken out to dinner or something so much as it is i would like to feel like more of a priority. when he waits until the last second to make plans, he is risking getting turned down if i've already made other plans, which tells me it isn't that important to him to see me.

2. true, the daughter thing would be a lot to deal with, i agree. but it was this past week that she was coming, i believe. so she is gone now.

3. women fall into your lap because you are emotionally unavailable. it makes no sense whatsoever, but that kind of guy really drives us crazy. look at Carrie and Mr. Big. it puts us on a mission to get you to fall for us. besides, i've basically sort of fallen into his lap. i've been putting effort in, dang it! Give me some credit!

4. trust me, i am chewing this one over, because i thought the same thing. i didn't want to bombard him with questions, so i didn't pry about it. i don't think he ever actually came out and said that he isn't close to her--it was more like an implied thing that he isn't that close to her. it could just be he doesn't see her often and the distance plays a role, too. plus, i was thinking that maybe he wanted to focus on "daddy time" this week while she was in town. which i totally understand. no beefs with that! but i will get XX's opinion on that. i didn't know she had experience in that department.

5. yeah, after i posted that, i thought, "i didn't explain the trump part very well." To clarify: i was saying that The Donald is probably a super super busy guy, and even he can make time in his busy real estate mogul schedule to spend enough time with his wife that they have time to make a baby. Similarly, i'm sure Dubya has time to at least give Laura a little smooch every now and then. My point is, no one is so busy they can't make their SO feel wanted/important. does that explain it better?

6. OK, Mr. Logical. what is the friggin' explanation for this one then???? does FedSexy think i'm dating other people? have I not put myself out there enough? is he waiting for me to make the next move? does he have hesitations about his kid meeting a girlfriend? does he just not have room in his life right now for a girlfriend? is he really and truly so busy he doesn't have time to change his underwear, let alone call me? or is he really just not that into me and none of my friends/readers have the balls to tell me? i could go on and on, but i'll shut up now. i need to focus on getting over him rather than sitting here wondering and looping these questions over and over inside my head.

Stuck said...

Just to play Devil's Advocate, because I'm so evil like that:

What you are going through right now is pretty close to what it feels like when a girl plays hard-to-get. See why we stop playing that game?

Now, if his daughter was in town for last week, then it's safe to assume she went home either Saturday or yesterday. So subtract last week from the no-call time frame. It's an excused absence, if you will.

As for women falling out of the sky, I have to say that the XY is experiencing it only because he's married. When you're not looking for women, they swarm you. It's part of the reason behind my deciding to stop looking. I should get swarmed any day now... *twiddles thumbs*

The relationship between him and his daughter was also something that I didn't comment on verbally, but made a mental note about. It could be that he said he wasn't close to her because he didn't want you to feel like second fiddle right off the bat. However, if you're NOT second fiddle to his daughter, you should walk away. Kids come first. If they don't, then that says something about the parent.

Virginia Belle said...

Thanks, Stuckey. I agree w/everything you said. It is really really hard for me not to play at least somewhat hard-to-get, because it is my standard MO. but i'm working on it. i've been MUCH better this time around. [VB pats self on back] I'm gradually starting to see why it may not always be a good strategy.

i would never expect to play anything but second fiddle to his kid. like you said, if i weren't, i should be worried. i couldn't agree more w/him prioritizing his daughter above all else. in fact, if that's why he hasn't called, he's actually earning points! i'm just having a hard time believing he is THAT busy with her. I guess it would qualify for an excused absence. but who knows...maybe it's true that he has been crazy busy. maybe they had to go visit grandma and grandpa while she was in town?

my question to male readers: when you really really like a girl, don't you FIND time to call? even if it is just to say "hi. i can't talk. just wanted to say hi. gotta go. bye!"?

Stuck said...

Calling just to say "hi" is something that I am terrible at. As we talked about during dinner, I think the phone is something to be used sparingly. You call with an agenda, make you plans, and talk about whatever you wanted to talk about in person.

Having said that, though, I will admit that I have, on occassion, called just to say "hi." I guess that was my agenda for the call.

TheDailySketch said...

Q: when you really really like a girl, don't you FIND time to call? even if it is just to say "hi. i can't talk. just wanted to say hi. gotta go. bye!"?

A: Nowadays I send text messages. Very convenient and electronically romantic methinks. But I do try calling once a day. If she doesn't answer, though, she doesn't get a message and I don't call back until she reciprocates.

NML said...

I always say do what your comfortable with but us women have a habit of being too comfortable with things that aren't neccessarily right. It is always difficult with these things because we don't see or hear everything, whereas your living it. Be careful of getting mucked around, but also have a good time!