Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. --Mae West
Figured I'd give y'all an update on the Repo situation. Unfortunately, this is not a juicy update. Aside from his lack of being The Man With The Plan, I really have very little beef. Hesitations, yes. Beef, not really. Let me explain. It's going great. It's just....slow.
I've known him now for about two months, but we have only recently started dating. There has been chemistry from the beginning, so things have been simmering for a while. You'd think that knowing each other previously would make it easier for things to...uh, progress into that more-than-friends arena. Well, it's not. To date, there has been absolutely no physical contact. No hand-holding, no kissing, no hugs even. And you know what? It's hot. Who knew??
Very rarely do I meet someone whom I could talk to until the sun comes up. Very rarely do I meet someone who has so much in common with me. And even more rarely am I ok with no smooching. I love smooching. I chomp at the bit while waiting for any potential physical contact. I love it when a guy wants to touch my "squishy parts." I love all that stuff. This is because I'm a total hornball. So why is this ok with me right now? Even in the midst of my almost-record-breaking dry spell?
For one, it's different. It's kind of exciting to actually--gasp--get to know someone before getting physical, rather than during or after. I'm wondering why I have never done this before....oh yeah, the hornball thing. But it's not that I don't know people I hook up with! You know what I mean.
Two, delayed gratification is hot hot hot. I don't know how else to put it. It's hard to pretend you are listening instead of picturing the other person without their clothes on! I'm just kidding. I am listening to him. My imagination just illustrates it differently. And since I can't have what I want, it is that much more desirable. It's making him 30% hotter. But this is how I am with guys in general--I'm such a sucker for the hard-to-get thing. It's just that this is the first time it has been in the physical sense. Usually I just date guys who are emotionally unavailable.
Three, when it does happen, I am hoping the combination of knowing each other well and the pent-up frustration will lead to a very combustible reaction! In fact, I'm starting to wonder if we should keep it like this for a while. Like another month or so. Just so we could max out our steaminess factor. It could be like one of those Harlequin romance novels, bordering on soft porn! (But no longer than a month--hello! Dry spell! Even I have my limits.)
Of course, this wouldn't be a VB post without the other side of the coin--what if this is horrible?? Possible scenarios I have imagined:
1. I wait around all this time, only to find out he can't kiss.
2. I will get an ulcer from nerves. He acts soooo shy around me, which in turn makes me shy, which makes it even harder to make that small leap. (Does anyone else suffer from contagious shyness?)
3. The expectations are so high, all that happens is that we let each other down. Sort of the Delayed Gratification Implosion.
4. He's actually not interested in smooching, hand-holding or feeling my squishy parts because he doesn't like me in that way. Soon I will cross that one-way door: The Friend Zone.
5.Once I get what I want, I will lose interest. His 30% hotter factor will disappear, leaving him with average cuteness. (Maybe all it takes for me to understand the male brain is to be denied physical contact from the opposite gender! I get it now, guys!)
6. If I wait too much longer, I will be so out of practice, I will be terrible. Is it possible to forget how? I'm allowed a couple of practice runs, right?
7. There is some big scary reason for all this waiting around: he's in the V Club, there is some kind of STD thing, his ex is still on the scene, he pulls a FedSucksy on me and has a kid, etc. etc. (And no, I don't think any of these are true. I'm just being paranoid!)
So on one hand, I'm loving it. On the other hand, I'm ready to get it overwith because it's making me crazy. And all this delayed gratification is really building up my expectations! Releasing the floodgates will probably turn me into Queen Hornball and I will be like a greedy little fat kid who is suddenly allowed out of their room for dessert. Once I'm allowed some cake and ice cream, I'll probably just gorge out! I'll be so grateful for anything, I won't even appreciate it because I'll be pigging out on whatever my chubby grubby fingers can grab!
Actually, that sounds kind of nice...I'm looking forward to it!
There's just a couple of hesitations on my part...(remember how I said I have hesitations?)
1. Anyone remember his bizarre behavior on NYE? Don't know how I feel about dating someone who could potentially have a DUI/have a different personality when they consume large quantities of booze. And yes, I have only seen him do that once.
2. And what's up with not walking me to the door on our last date? (Normally he does, but this time he didn't.)
Any advice or opinions on these?
Side note to J-Rich: I know you know who I'm talking about and if you say anything you are dead meat! Librarians are very powerful people. Don't mess.