"You know what? I'd actually like a Shirley Temple, please," I said to our favorite bartender (OFB).
Surprised at the change from my usual Diet Coke, he threw in some extra maraschino cherries for me. I thanked him.
It was nice to have something different to drink. I stirred it with my straw, watching the Sprite and the grenadine swirl together. I had fun digging the cherries out from the bottom of my tall glass. I sipped away, enjoying the old familiar taste. It made me remember one of my favorite childhood memories.
When I was very young, there was a bar/restaurant near our house. They made great pizza, and when my dad wanted a late night snack, he would go there and get carry-out pizza. Knowing my mom hated bars and was not a night owl, he would wake me up instead and take me with him to wait on the pizza. I would sit next to him at the bar, in my red footie pajamas. He would drink a beer. I would drink a Shirley Temple, footie feet swinging in the air. I loved the feeling of being a kid, hanging out with the grown-ups. It felt like a secret we were keeping from The Czarina -- me out way past my bedtime, drinking sugary drinks and eating pizza. I don't remember how the pizza tasted, or if the bartender would talk to us. But I do remember how special Dad managed to make me feel, even from a young age.
I smiled, recalling the vague memories, and missing my dad. Lost in my thoughts, I suddenly realized I'd been sitting there, undisturbed, for quite some time. Unfortunately, Wild Wings was pretty dead. Not nearly as fun and crowded as the night before. This time, it was just me, two girlfriends and OFB.
Normally, the three of us can carry the whole bar, laughing, flirting and carrying on with anyone and everyone. But tonight, I was on my own. My girls were otherwise occupied with their respective boyfriends. Both of them sat on their cell phones, arguing with their men for most of the evening. And when they weren't on the phone, arguing, they were bitching about their men to me.
One couple has been dealing with jealousy/family issues. The other couple has been together since they were teenagers and have never really dated anyone else. Their relationship expired about a year ago, yet they have been hanging on for dear life, out of convenience, comfort or terror. Or maybe all three.
"Wow, I sure am glad I'm single right now. I definitely don't miss any of this crap!" I thought. In the middle of their venting, I looked at OFB and just rolled my eyes. He laughed.
Later, when the girls were both in the bathroom, I said to him, "They fight all the time. I wish they'd just break up already! It's so ridiculous!" He laughed again.
After another Shirley Temple, I called it a night and escaped to my stable, calm and wonderfully boring Single Girl life.
Last night, I went out with another group of friends. We went to dinner, despite the obvious absence of one of our core group members. I almost asked why she wasn't with us, when I remembered: she has a boyfriend.
Do you have a friend who disappears on you once they start dating someone? Yeah, that's her. She does this every time she's got a new man.
Her name was brought up, and we began to discuss this new guy she's dating. I met him briefly a few months ago, and I was not impressed-- I thought he was boring and drank too much. But that was really all I had to go on. It turns out that my instincts were right. One of us, through mutual friends, found out the scoop on this guy:
1. He is about 35, and is still smoking pot.
2. He got a DUI a few months ago. This has not curtailed his drinking at all, just his driving. So now our friend is driving his drunk ass around everywhere.
3. Because she's hanging out with an alcoholic, her already slightly elevated alcohol intake has doubled. So now she is driving around like this. If she gets a DUI, it would seriously affect her career. Like, permanently.
4. She is so hung over nowadays, she has stopped going to the gym. (How much drinking do you have to be doing to be hungover that often???) And I'm sure she's been hungover at work, if not calling in sick entirely.
5. This boyfriend of hers doesn't have a job. Oh, he kinda "helps out" with his friend's home business. Whatever that means. He has no benefits at all from this "job".
6. She has been saving up money to buy a house. He is going to move in with her when she does this. And apparently, continue mooching.
7. He has a child that he he doesn't support or see. We do not know if he has informed our friend that he has a child. We happen to know about it through a random coincidence. As far as we know, he is hiding this fact from her. (We wouldn't know, because we don't see her anymore.)
8. The mother of the child, described as a "psycho drug addict", told him she doesn't want to have anything to do with him until he "gets his act cleaned up". WOW.
9. If they do get married (as I'm sure my friend wants to do -- she has marriage on the brain, to a fault), I am worried that the Baby Mama will hear about it and suddenly want some child support money. And since he's a freeloader, it will have to come out of my friend's paycheck. Not to mention, I know she would also add him on to her health care benefits.
What a winner, huh? I think he's got every single red flag a guy can have, short of physical abuse.
The worst part about it is, my friend is the kind of girl who doesn't respond to concerned friends. If we approached her to express our concerns, she would become defensive, make excuses and justify everything. So we are helpless. All we can do is sit back and watch her screw up her life.
I just hope she's using protection, because he is not the kind of guy you want fathering your children. But knowing her, she would use an unplanned pregnancy as an excuse to get married.
Ugh.
Maybe being single isn't that bad. I can enjoy my Shirley Temples in peace.
Showing posts with label Happy Hour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happy Hour. Show all posts
Monday, August 27, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Social Butterfly
Holy cow, this week has been a big blur. I have gone out every night except Tuesday, and that's because I had to work. I've had a good time, but last night was especially fun. I don't know if it was because both neighbors have (in theory) asked me out or if it was my good hair day or because I listened to my official "Going Out Tonight" CD (which always gets me in the mood) or what, but I had confidence oozing out of my pores. I was ready to party it up with the Happy Hour Girls: E, Talker and KittyKat. (Butter & S couldn't make it.)
You will be glad to know that the only voices I took with me were Confident and Pervert. :)
It was going to be a good night.
We started with a neighborhood block party in Talker's neighborhood. Unfortunately, I showed up about 20 minutes before my friends did. Ugh. I hate it when that happens. Considering I am naturally very shy, I could feel my confidence slipping away as I sat at a table, alone. True to form, everyone was dressed in their finest preppy attire and didn't talk to any "outsiders" such as myself. So I sipped my water and read a brochure while I waited. Usually, Southerners are really friendly, but in situations like this, where I'm wearing Express instead of Lily Pulitzer, they can get snooty pretty fast. I felt like the Whore of Babylon. "Note to self," I thought. "The next time you see someone sitting alone, go talk to them. Don't be a snooty Southern Belle."
I hoped my friends would hurry up before I let my shy, reserved side come back out. I was tired of being shy. I was ready to be crazy and have fun and flirt! I could feel my old College Self coming back, and it was great! (College VB is the most super fun side of my personality!!)
Luckily, my friends arrived en masse, and brought along 2 more girls I met briefly the week before: Teacher and Sweet Cheeks. Old friends and new friends -- my favorite mix of people! Yay! We caught up and had some food before heading to our usual hang out, Wild Wings.
That's when the craziness started! Beers clinked, shot glasses emptied, eyes winked and laughter filled the air around us. We had so much to discuss: Talker and her boyfriend had recently broken up, KittyKat was thinking about dumping her boyfriend, I had to tell them about Hot Neighbor semi-asking me out, E needed to talk to me about moving in this weekend, Teacher needed to get drunk and we all had to tease KittyKat about her huge crush on our favorite bartender. We were a party in and of ourselves, and even roamed all over the bar, but we also ended up talking to a lot of guys.
A guy E used to sorta date ran into us. None of us had ever met him, so that was interesting. He was fine for a while, but then he got drunk....and started invading personal space. That's when I found out he had onion breath. Yuck!
I saw a lawyer I know. He used to sorta date Blonde, one of my nursing friends, so I went over to say hello. He ended up asking me out, which I found very inappropriate, considering he used to be involved with one of my friends. So he got shot down.
Then he introduced me to his friend. He seemed nice at first, but when I told him I am a librarian, he said, "Oh, my ex-wife is a librarian!" ...and then he proceeded to launch into a condensed version of why/how his marriage fell apart. He finished the story, and then proceeded to ask me out. Good grief. What is with these guys? I do not want to date a Davy Downer! He was too depressing. The thought of making it through a meal with this guy seemed unbearable. He needed to check his baggage. He got shot down, too.
Another guy that was with them tried to come over and talk to me later on. But I was on my way upstairs. When he whined about having just come all the way downstairs just to talk to me, I said, "Honey, I'm a social butterfly. You gotta keep up!" and continued on my way.
I was on a roll!
When I got upstairs, I saw that Teacher was in the process of getting plowed and was on the verge of making out with a guy by this point in the evening. Sweet Cheeks and I giggled as we watched them falling all over each other. I'm sure she'll be incessantly teased tonight.
Then I was talking to Talker when a guy she knew approached us. I had my back turned to him as he came over to us. When she introduced me, he turned around and I saw: The Banker.
Backstory: One night, way back in January or February, I was at WW, waiting for the HH Girls to show up. The Banker approached me and we hit it off. I gave him my number right before my girls arrived. Then I said goodbye and went to join my friends. For months afterwards, he would randomly drunk dial me in the middle of the night and ask me tons of mundane questions: What do I do for a living? What part of town do I live in? Do I have any siblings? etc. Needless to say, it got old. After asking him several times to just call back during daylight hours and getting no compliance on his part, I eventually had enough and told him to leave me alone. That was several months ago. I deleted his number, and I assume he deleted mine.
"Oh, yeah. I've already met Virginia. I'm sure she remembers who I am," he said, bashfully. I could tell he felt uncomfortable.
"Of course I do," I said, smiling. I had forgotten how adorable he is! Before I could really start flirting with him, he bolted. While I understood his discomfort at the situation, all I could think was, "Dammit! Come back here! I want to give you another chance!"
I turned back to Talker and gave her the backstory about The Banker. She told me he's a really nice guy who probably just got nervous. I saw him again, just as I was leaving, grabbed his hand, smiled and said, "Bye..."
I'm sure I'll see him again. Maybe tonight. Maybe 3 months from now. It's ok. I didn't need to give anyone my phone number last night. I had something far more important going on: I got my mojo back! No more shy & reserved VB! WOOT!!
I'm such a heartbreaker, huh?
You will be glad to know that the only voices I took with me were Confident and Pervert. :)
It was going to be a good night.
We started with a neighborhood block party in Talker's neighborhood. Unfortunately, I showed up about 20 minutes before my friends did. Ugh. I hate it when that happens. Considering I am naturally very shy, I could feel my confidence slipping away as I sat at a table, alone. True to form, everyone was dressed in their finest preppy attire and didn't talk to any "outsiders" such as myself. So I sipped my water and read a brochure while I waited. Usually, Southerners are really friendly, but in situations like this, where I'm wearing Express instead of Lily Pulitzer, they can get snooty pretty fast. I felt like the Whore of Babylon. "Note to self," I thought. "The next time you see someone sitting alone, go talk to them. Don't be a snooty Southern Belle."
I hoped my friends would hurry up before I let my shy, reserved side come back out. I was tired of being shy. I was ready to be crazy and have fun and flirt! I could feel my old College Self coming back, and it was great! (College VB is the most super fun side of my personality!!)
Luckily, my friends arrived en masse, and brought along 2 more girls I met briefly the week before: Teacher and Sweet Cheeks. Old friends and new friends -- my favorite mix of people! Yay! We caught up and had some food before heading to our usual hang out, Wild Wings.
That's when the craziness started! Beers clinked, shot glasses emptied, eyes winked and laughter filled the air around us. We had so much to discuss: Talker and her boyfriend had recently broken up, KittyKat was thinking about dumping her boyfriend, I had to tell them about Hot Neighbor semi-asking me out, E needed to talk to me about moving in this weekend, Teacher needed to get drunk and we all had to tease KittyKat about her huge crush on our favorite bartender. We were a party in and of ourselves, and even roamed all over the bar, but we also ended up talking to a lot of guys.
A guy E used to sorta date ran into us. None of us had ever met him, so that was interesting. He was fine for a while, but then he got drunk....and started invading personal space. That's when I found out he had onion breath. Yuck!
I saw a lawyer I know. He used to sorta date Blonde, one of my nursing friends, so I went over to say hello. He ended up asking me out, which I found very inappropriate, considering he used to be involved with one of my friends. So he got shot down.
Then he introduced me to his friend. He seemed nice at first, but when I told him I am a librarian, he said, "Oh, my ex-wife is a librarian!" ...and then he proceeded to launch into a condensed version of why/how his marriage fell apart. He finished the story, and then proceeded to ask me out. Good grief. What is with these guys? I do not want to date a Davy Downer! He was too depressing. The thought of making it through a meal with this guy seemed unbearable. He needed to check his baggage. He got shot down, too.
Another guy that was with them tried to come over and talk to me later on. But I was on my way upstairs. When he whined about having just come all the way downstairs just to talk to me, I said, "Honey, I'm a social butterfly. You gotta keep up!" and continued on my way.
I was on a roll!
When I got upstairs, I saw that Teacher was in the process of getting plowed and was on the verge of making out with a guy by this point in the evening. Sweet Cheeks and I giggled as we watched them falling all over each other. I'm sure she'll be incessantly teased tonight.
Then I was talking to Talker when a guy she knew approached us. I had my back turned to him as he came over to us. When she introduced me, he turned around and I saw: The Banker.
Backstory: One night, way back in January or February, I was at WW, waiting for the HH Girls to show up. The Banker approached me and we hit it off. I gave him my number right before my girls arrived. Then I said goodbye and went to join my friends. For months afterwards, he would randomly drunk dial me in the middle of the night and ask me tons of mundane questions: What do I do for a living? What part of town do I live in? Do I have any siblings? etc. Needless to say, it got old. After asking him several times to just call back during daylight hours and getting no compliance on his part, I eventually had enough and told him to leave me alone. That was several months ago. I deleted his number, and I assume he deleted mine.
"Oh, yeah. I've already met Virginia. I'm sure she remembers who I am," he said, bashfully. I could tell he felt uncomfortable.
"Of course I do," I said, smiling. I had forgotten how adorable he is! Before I could really start flirting with him, he bolted. While I understood his discomfort at the situation, all I could think was, "Dammit! Come back here! I want to give you another chance!"
I turned back to Talker and gave her the backstory about The Banker. She told me he's a really nice guy who probably just got nervous. I saw him again, just as I was leaving, grabbed his hand, smiled and said, "Bye..."
I'm sure I'll see him again. Maybe tonight. Maybe 3 months from now. It's ok. I didn't need to give anyone my phone number last night. I had something far more important going on: I got my mojo back! No more shy & reserved VB! WOOT!!
I'm such a heartbreaker, huh?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
We Interrupt This Program...
I still have at least two more Southern Culture posts I'd like to write. (Unless everyone is sick of them?) I decided to start this series at a good time -- I don't have a lot going on right now. But that doesn't mean I don't have anything going on, either. For example:
1. I cannot stop eating hot dogs or anything orange-flavored. Maybe it's the summer weather, maybe it's the little kid in me, but all I want are ketchup, orange soda pop (OMG, diet Sunkist? The shiznit.), cheese-filled wieners and that ice cream where they mix the vanilla ice cream with orange sherbet. What is going on??? I never crave this stuff.
2. I am officially b-r-o-k-e. $40 until payday. This is not good. Note to self: DO SOMETHING!!
3. I just burned a new CD today. My favorite tracks include: "Beautiful Liar" -- Beyonce & Shakira, "Hang Me Up to Dry" -- Cold War Kids, "You Know I'm No Good" -- Amy Winehouse, "Like This" -- Kelly Rowland feat. Eve, "We Takin' Over" -- DJ Khaled (et al.) and "Hump de Bump" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, even though they totally sold out on that track. I had no business buying the tracks, but if I don't have new music every 2 months, I can feel my soul dying.
4. Not really any Hot Neighbor news. Haven't seen Hoochie McSkankerton in at least a week. This is good. I probably just jinxed myself, though. I'll probably come home to them sucking face in his driveway again. I did manage to make a complete idiot out of myself, though. (Surprised??) It's a long story, but he needed his sewer turned back on, and he didn't have time to do it since he was going to NC. Being the huge sucker that I am, I blurted out, "I'm not doing anything tomorrow. I can go down to the city offices and do it for you, if you want." The second it flew out of my mouth, I could not believe what a total jackass I was. So if you see me, please write "SUCKER" on my forehead in permanent ink, OK? He ended up doing it himself, so no, I did not run any errands for him. GAH. *bangs head against wall*
5. I didn't do diddly squat over the holiday weekend (see #2, above). Lots of naps, TV watching and hot dog eating. I was pretty much a worthless human being, aside from baking some cookies and working on my big secret project. Which I should actually be calling "Big Secret Project, The Sequel", as the original project needed to be aborted. This re-vamped version is much more...doable. (Again, if you have no idea what I'm talking about or are just plain nosy, email me and I will give you details.) It's ok. I have a 4 day weekend coming up. I can be more productive then. The good thing is, the Summer Parties and cookouts have started. It's starting to be lake time, which is always a fun weekend activity. WOOT!
6. I posted some new recipes on my cooking blog, Virginia Cooks. If you're interested.
But the true highlight of the long weekend was last night.
This is a story which I will call: "I am a Sucker for Awkwardness and Total Humiliation" or "On Realizing That I am a Masochist"
Ahem.
I have been spending a lot of time with the Happy Hour Girls lately, especially E, Butter and their boyfriends. If you remember, we all had a good time together the weekend of Cinco de Mayo. And if you recall, I ended up making out with Rob Thomas, who never called. And yes, I was kind of upset about that.
Well, last night I got a text message from E: "Hey, want to go to dinner with us? We are going to Flying Saucer because Rob Thomas wants to hit on some waitress who works there."
I know she didn't mean anything by it, but did I really need to have this information? To her, it's old news, but to me, it still kind of stings a little that he never called me.
"Dude, no. There's no way I'm going and watching Rob hit on some waitress in front of my face. Not when this is the first time he and I will be seeing each other. Unless you really want me to go," I replied.
She did. And Butter did, too. "Pleeeeeeeeease? I'm Butter! I need bread! You are my bread!" she pleaded. *sigh*
"It's going to be awkward the first time you and Rob see each other, anyway. Might as well get it over with," E said.
"*sigh* Ok. But I'm only going if I can have cigarettes on-demand," I said.
"Done," E said.
I drove over to meet everyone at Rob's house. (Remember, E's boyf is Rob's roommate). Rob and I were cordial, but distant. I wholly avoided eye contact with him (I know, I know. But I just wasn't ready to make nice quite yet.) and talked to everyone else instead. I asked if they liked the cookies. Earlier in the week, I had given E some cookies I made. "Dude, those cookies you made? Amazing," Rob said to me, out of nowhere.
"Really? Because I was sorta hoping you'd choke to death on them!" I wanted to say.
"Dude, your ass-kissing is total bullshit, so fuck off!" I wanted to say.
"That kissing you did? SO average," I wanted to say.
"Thank you. I'm glad you like them," I said instead.
"You wuss!" my brain said.
Soon after, we all piled into cars and drove to the restaurant.
I got MJ and KT to join us, too, and I'm so glad they came. I don't think I could have made it through the meal without having at least 4 girlfriends with me. Thank God for the knowing, understanding and sympathetic looks your girlfriends can give you, all without saying a word. "You OK?" "OMG he's being such a douchebag!" "Don't worry, let's talk about something else!" "Seriously, how dumb is this girl Rob likes?" their eyes said to me.
When I sat down at the table, the only empty seat was next to me. And Rob was the only person who hadn't sat down yet. Super. It looked like I was expecting him to sit next to me. Ugh.
Instead, and far worse, he moved aaaaaall the way to the opposite end of the table from me, and proceeded to pull up a chair. Wow. I don't think that could have been more insulting. Now, not only am I Almost Girl, I also have cooties. This is like 3rd grade all over again. I was already regretting my decision.
My feelings of self-loathing were only intensified when the waitress came over to our table. First off, she wasn't a very good waitress. This is probably because she has the same level of intelligence as a toothpick. Then again, I suppose I am biased. Since she and Rob already knew each other, she proceeds to pull up a chair next to him, where they spent half the meal talking to one another. She spent every possible minute talking to him, and he spent every possible minute trying to make her job easier: "Guys, who ordered the French dip?" "Anyone need anything?" "Are we ready for our bills?" etc.
"It's a good thing my stomach is empty right now, because otherwise, I'd be barfing all over this table," I whispered to MJ as we waited for our food.
"Stiff that stupid bimbo waitress," my brain said.
"I'm gonna stiff her," I told MJ.
I didn't stiff her.
"You wuss!" my brain said.
Anyway, the food was good. My girlfriends were wonderful. The service was below average. The humiliation was total.
Yup. Sounds pretty normal for me.
Never fear. Rob has invited all of us to go to the lake on his boat next weekend. I will get to do a whole repeat of this story, only while wearing my bikini. Because this wasn't quite humiliating enough. To be fully awful, I need to add "pale flesh" and "tummy rolls" to the mix. And if the bimbo waitress comes too? Aaaah, that will be Humiliation Extraordinaire!
It's kind of like a nightmare, only more real.
1. I cannot stop eating hot dogs or anything orange-flavored. Maybe it's the summer weather, maybe it's the little kid in me, but all I want are ketchup, orange soda pop (OMG, diet Sunkist? The shiznit.), cheese-filled wieners and that ice cream where they mix the vanilla ice cream with orange sherbet. What is going on??? I never crave this stuff.
2. I am officially b-r-o-k-e. $40 until payday. This is not good. Note to self: DO SOMETHING!!
3. I just burned a new CD today. My favorite tracks include: "Beautiful Liar" -- Beyonce & Shakira, "Hang Me Up to Dry" -- Cold War Kids, "You Know I'm No Good" -- Amy Winehouse, "Like This" -- Kelly Rowland feat. Eve, "We Takin' Over" -- DJ Khaled (et al.) and "Hump de Bump" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, even though they totally sold out on that track. I had no business buying the tracks, but if I don't have new music every 2 months, I can feel my soul dying.
4. Not really any Hot Neighbor news. Haven't seen Hoochie McSkankerton in at least a week. This is good. I probably just jinxed myself, though. I'll probably come home to them sucking face in his driveway again. I did manage to make a complete idiot out of myself, though. (Surprised??) It's a long story, but he needed his sewer turned back on, and he didn't have time to do it since he was going to NC. Being the huge sucker that I am, I blurted out, "I'm not doing anything tomorrow. I can go down to the city offices and do it for you, if you want." The second it flew out of my mouth, I could not believe what a total jackass I was. So if you see me, please write "SUCKER" on my forehead in permanent ink, OK? He ended up doing it himself, so no, I did not run any errands for him. GAH. *bangs head against wall*
5. I didn't do diddly squat over the holiday weekend (see #2, above). Lots of naps, TV watching and hot dog eating. I was pretty much a worthless human being, aside from baking some cookies and working on my big secret project. Which I should actually be calling "Big Secret Project, The Sequel", as the original project needed to be aborted. This re-vamped version is much more...doable. (Again, if you have no idea what I'm talking about or are just plain nosy, email me and I will give you details.) It's ok. I have a 4 day weekend coming up. I can be more productive then. The good thing is, the Summer Parties and cookouts have started. It's starting to be lake time, which is always a fun weekend activity. WOOT!
6. I posted some new recipes on my cooking blog, Virginia Cooks. If you're interested.
But the true highlight of the long weekend was last night.
This is a story which I will call: "I am a Sucker for Awkwardness and Total Humiliation" or "On Realizing That I am a Masochist"
Ahem.
I have been spending a lot of time with the Happy Hour Girls lately, especially E, Butter and their boyfriends. If you remember, we all had a good time together the weekend of Cinco de Mayo. And if you recall, I ended up making out with Rob Thomas, who never called. And yes, I was kind of upset about that.
Well, last night I got a text message from E: "Hey, want to go to dinner with us? We are going to Flying Saucer because Rob Thomas wants to hit on some waitress who works there."
I know she didn't mean anything by it, but did I really need to have this information? To her, it's old news, but to me, it still kind of stings a little that he never called me.
"Dude, no. There's no way I'm going and watching Rob hit on some waitress in front of my face. Not when this is the first time he and I will be seeing each other. Unless you really want me to go," I replied.
She did. And Butter did, too. "Pleeeeeeeeease? I'm Butter! I need bread! You are my bread!" she pleaded. *sigh*
"It's going to be awkward the first time you and Rob see each other, anyway. Might as well get it over with," E said.
"*sigh* Ok. But I'm only going if I can have cigarettes on-demand," I said.
"Done," E said.
I drove over to meet everyone at Rob's house. (Remember, E's boyf is Rob's roommate). Rob and I were cordial, but distant. I wholly avoided eye contact with him (I know, I know. But I just wasn't ready to make nice quite yet.) and talked to everyone else instead. I asked if they liked the cookies. Earlier in the week, I had given E some cookies I made. "Dude, those cookies you made? Amazing," Rob said to me, out of nowhere.
"Really? Because I was sorta hoping you'd choke to death on them!" I wanted to say.
"Dude, your ass-kissing is total bullshit, so fuck off!" I wanted to say.
"That kissing you did? SO average," I wanted to say.
"Thank you. I'm glad you like them," I said instead.
"You wuss!" my brain said.
Soon after, we all piled into cars and drove to the restaurant.
I got MJ and KT to join us, too, and I'm so glad they came. I don't think I could have made it through the meal without having at least 4 girlfriends with me. Thank God for the knowing, understanding and sympathetic looks your girlfriends can give you, all without saying a word. "You OK?" "OMG he's being such a douchebag!" "Don't worry, let's talk about something else!" "Seriously, how dumb is this girl Rob likes?" their eyes said to me.
When I sat down at the table, the only empty seat was next to me. And Rob was the only person who hadn't sat down yet. Super. It looked like I was expecting him to sit next to me. Ugh.
Instead, and far worse, he moved aaaaaall the way to the opposite end of the table from me, and proceeded to pull up a chair. Wow. I don't think that could have been more insulting. Now, not only am I Almost Girl, I also have cooties. This is like 3rd grade all over again. I was already regretting my decision.
My feelings of self-loathing were only intensified when the waitress came over to our table. First off, she wasn't a very good waitress. This is probably because she has the same level of intelligence as a toothpick. Then again, I suppose I am biased. Since she and Rob already knew each other, she proceeds to pull up a chair next to him, where they spent half the meal talking to one another. She spent every possible minute talking to him, and he spent every possible minute trying to make her job easier: "Guys, who ordered the French dip?" "Anyone need anything?" "Are we ready for our bills?" etc.
"It's a good thing my stomach is empty right now, because otherwise, I'd be barfing all over this table," I whispered to MJ as we waited for our food.
"Stiff that stupid bimbo waitress," my brain said.
"I'm gonna stiff her," I told MJ.
I didn't stiff her.
"You wuss!" my brain said.
Anyway, the food was good. My girlfriends were wonderful. The service was below average. The humiliation was total.
Yup. Sounds pretty normal for me.
Never fear. Rob has invited all of us to go to the lake on his boat next weekend. I will get to do a whole repeat of this story, only while wearing my bikini. Because this wasn't quite humiliating enough. To be fully awful, I need to add "pale flesh" and "tummy rolls" to the mix. And if the bimbo waitress comes too? Aaaah, that will be Humiliation Extraordinaire!
It's kind of like a nightmare, only more real.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Cinco de Weekend
Gosh, what a fantastic weekend. I had Friday off, so I ran a bunch of errands before meeting up with Butter, one of the Happy Hour girls, for pedicures. She and I had a great time hanging out one-on-one. If things go well, she might be moving in with me when her lease is up in July. After our pedis, we went to my house for a snack before meeting up with E and her boyfriend B. The rest of the Happy Hour crew couldn't make it this week.
The bar where we were was dead, so at 9:30, we all came to the realization that we were all hungry. B mentioned IHOP and off we went. We porked out on pancakes, bacon, sausage, stuffed french toast*, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and omlettes. Man, was it good.
*OMG, have you ever had this stuff? It is heavenly.
As we were eating, B&E filled us in on the plans for the next day: B and his roommate were having a small Cinco de Mayo party. Planned activities included: a pinata, badminton, darts, horseshoes and dinner at a Mexican restaurant. We were all looking forward to it. E was especially excited, because it meant I would finally be meeting B's roommate. She had been trying to fix us up for weeks. Suddenly, B chimed in and told me that I need to be informed about his roommate's ear.
"Oh yeah? Why?" I asked.
"Well, his right ear is fake. If you bump into it or something, it might fall off," he explained.
"Um, what?" I said.
E started telling B to shut up and knock it off. But he continued on:
"Yeah, he lost it in a freak accident, and now it's a prosthetic that just snaps on and off, kind of like Michael Jackson's nose," he continued.
"Ok, why am I not buying this?" I said, eyebrow raised.
"Don't listen to him, Virginia. He is making it up. His roommate doesn't have a fake ear," E explained.
Apparently, B is somewhat of an instigator/practical joker. I guess that as he had been telling me about his roommate's supposed fake ear, he had been telling his roommate that I had multiple personalities. "Yeah, so when you meet him tomorrow, can you just sort of twitch and then turn into a totally crazy girl named 'Sarah'?" he asked.
"I don't think so, B," I said, chuckling. (Looking back on it now, it would have been fun to play along...)
Then Butter spied an uneaten stack of pancakes. "Are you going to eat those?" she asked B. He said he wasn't. We expected her to just scoot the pancakes towards her, douse them in syrup and go to town. Instead, she grabbed a spoon and said, "Don't you just love butter?" And we all affirmed that yes, we were indeed butter fans. Well, the next thing we know, she scoops up the large hunk of butter and proceeds to eat it. Of course, this totally grossed out the rest of us. We sat, horrified, as she explained to us that as a child, she would sneak into the fridge, grab a stick of butter, and gnaw her way through it. This funny yet disgusting habit is why we now refer to her as Butter.
After gorging out on greasy breakfast food, we all went home early. The next day, I met up with KT for lunch, went for a run (about 3 miles this time, go me!!!) and then got ready to go to the party. I had to follow Butter there since B and his roommate live in a part of town I'm unfamiliar with and I knew that at some point, I would have to go home and let my dogs out.
When I got there, I finally met B's roommate. I'm going to call him Rob Thomas, since that's kinda who he looks like. He a little younger than I am(25), but he's very mature. He's owned his house longer than I've owned mine, and has already fixed up all the interior! It was the cleanest and best-decorated guy's house I've ever been in, actually. He and I hung out in the kitchen, ate some chips and got to know each other a little bit. He struck me as a very well-mannered, sweet and easy to be around kind of guy. We were starting to hit it off. This was going very well.
Not wanting to be anti-social, we rejoined the group. There were only 8 of us, but we had so much fun playing darts, horseshoes and badminton. By 7:30, we were ready to go grab some dinner. As I grabbed my purse, I noticed I had a missed phone call on my cell.
When I saw who it was, my jaw dropped.
Oh....my....God.....why in the hell would this person be calling me??? After everything that happened. After all this time. WHY?
It was Repo's girlfriend's best friend. The same one who was involved when all the drama happend a couple of months ago. My mind was racing: What happened that would cause her to call me after all this time?? I couldn't think of a reason. I toook E and Butter aside and told them what was up. "She probably called you by accident," Butter said. Still, out of curiosity, I called her back -- no answer. I left a message.
Just when we sat down at the restaurant, she called me back. It was really loud inside, so I left and went outside to talk to her. (This probably looked really sketchy to Rob Thomas....I will have to explain this to him when the time is right...)
It turns out that she had called me by accident. But we took the opportunity to catch up. Since she's going to be around this summer, she said we should get together for lunch sometime. I was taken aback. "Really?" I asked, surprised. I had always liked her, and was glad to hear that she didn't hate my guts. "No, why would I hate your guts?" she asked.
"Well....after all that happened....I guess I just hope I didn't cause any problems between you and [Repo's girlfriend]," I said.
"Oh, no. [Repo's girlfriend] would not even care at all if we went to lunch," she explained.
"Really? I would think she must hate my guts, and probably thinks I tried to sabotage her relationship. I just hope she realizes that was not my intent at all and that I got absolutely nothing out of it," I explained.
"Trust me. She realizes that. She has always been grateful to you for telling her what was going on, and she always believed everything you said. She knows you didn't get anything out of it," she continued.
"Huh? You mean all this time, she believed me? I thought no one believed me, and Repo made up a bunch of stuff about me and that she must hate me," I said.
"Oh yeah, she totally believed every word you said. I don't know what Repo said to her, because he and I never talked about the situation, but yeah, she believes you. And so do I. When it happened, I told her that she's my friend and I will always support her, even if she took him back. And she decided to give him another shot. But she's definitely holding back in the relationship because of it," she went on.
"Wow. I had no idea," I replied.
Just before getting off the phone with her, she told me she's not sure, but Repo might still be reading my blog. She advised me to keep that in mind. I told her I would be very surprised if he was still reading this thing. And even if he is, I don't care. I am just happy to finally get some validation and know that I'm not hated or not believed. That has been bugging me! So the phone call definitely made me feel a lot better.
Ok, so back to my weekend. The 8 of us had a wonderful Mexican dinner, with lots of beer and enchiladas and laughing. By this point, there was definitely some chemistry between me and Rob. He bought my dinner, which really surprised me. I thanked him, and then we all drove back to Rob & B's house.
It was starting to get late, and I'd been away from my dogs for about 6 hours. They needed to go out. So I had to leave and take care of them. Since I would have gotten lost on the way back (their neighborhood is a total maze), Rob offered to go with me. Woot!
I was a little concerned that my car was dirty and that my house was kinda dirty (it had been raining that day, so it smelled like wet dogs, and my sink was full of dirty dishes), but there wasn't much I could do about it now. Luckily, he didn't seem to mind. He helped me walk the dogs when we got there.
We had the best conversations in the car. Since I live on the opposite side of town, we ended up having lots of time to talk. We discovered a shared taste in music and politics, which never happens to me. Plus, he likes dogs. So by this point, I was pretty much sold.
By the time we got back, our ranks had dwindled (too much beer at dinner) to 5. We played horseshoes for a while and then re-lived our college days with a beer bong until about 2am. The guys were hysterical, making bets on the horseshoes and trying to convince each other that it was NOT their turn to bong the next beer. Eventually, Rob and I ended up watching tv after everyone else went to bed.
That's when he kissed me.
The bar where we were was dead, so at 9:30, we all came to the realization that we were all hungry. B mentioned IHOP and off we went. We porked out on pancakes, bacon, sausage, stuffed french toast*, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and omlettes. Man, was it good.
*OMG, have you ever had this stuff? It is heavenly.
As we were eating, B&E filled us in on the plans for the next day: B and his roommate were having a small Cinco de Mayo party. Planned activities included: a pinata, badminton, darts, horseshoes and dinner at a Mexican restaurant. We were all looking forward to it. E was especially excited, because it meant I would finally be meeting B's roommate. She had been trying to fix us up for weeks. Suddenly, B chimed in and told me that I need to be informed about his roommate's ear.
"Oh yeah? Why?" I asked.
"Well, his right ear is fake. If you bump into it or something, it might fall off," he explained.
"Um, what?" I said.
E started telling B to shut up and knock it off. But he continued on:
"Yeah, he lost it in a freak accident, and now it's a prosthetic that just snaps on and off, kind of like Michael Jackson's nose," he continued.
"Ok, why am I not buying this?" I said, eyebrow raised.
"Don't listen to him, Virginia. He is making it up. His roommate doesn't have a fake ear," E explained.
Apparently, B is somewhat of an instigator/practical joker. I guess that as he had been telling me about his roommate's supposed fake ear, he had been telling his roommate that I had multiple personalities. "Yeah, so when you meet him tomorrow, can you just sort of twitch and then turn into a totally crazy girl named 'Sarah'?" he asked.
"I don't think so, B," I said, chuckling. (Looking back on it now, it would have been fun to play along...)
Then Butter spied an uneaten stack of pancakes. "Are you going to eat those?" she asked B. He said he wasn't. We expected her to just scoot the pancakes towards her, douse them in syrup and go to town. Instead, she grabbed a spoon and said, "Don't you just love butter?" And we all affirmed that yes, we were indeed butter fans. Well, the next thing we know, she scoops up the large hunk of butter and proceeds to eat it. Of course, this totally grossed out the rest of us. We sat, horrified, as she explained to us that as a child, she would sneak into the fridge, grab a stick of butter, and gnaw her way through it. This funny yet disgusting habit is why we now refer to her as Butter.
After gorging out on greasy breakfast food, we all went home early. The next day, I met up with KT for lunch, went for a run (about 3 miles this time, go me!!!) and then got ready to go to the party. I had to follow Butter there since B and his roommate live in a part of town I'm unfamiliar with and I knew that at some point, I would have to go home and let my dogs out.
When I got there, I finally met B's roommate. I'm going to call him Rob Thomas, since that's kinda who he looks like. He a little younger than I am(25), but he's very mature. He's owned his house longer than I've owned mine, and has already fixed up all the interior! It was the cleanest and best-decorated guy's house I've ever been in, actually. He and I hung out in the kitchen, ate some chips and got to know each other a little bit. He struck me as a very well-mannered, sweet and easy to be around kind of guy. We were starting to hit it off. This was going very well.
Not wanting to be anti-social, we rejoined the group. There were only 8 of us, but we had so much fun playing darts, horseshoes and badminton. By 7:30, we were ready to go grab some dinner. As I grabbed my purse, I noticed I had a missed phone call on my cell.
When I saw who it was, my jaw dropped.
Oh....my....God.....why in the hell would this person be calling me??? After everything that happened. After all this time. WHY?
It was Repo's girlfriend's best friend. The same one who was involved when all the drama happend a couple of months ago. My mind was racing: What happened that would cause her to call me after all this time?? I couldn't think of a reason. I toook E and Butter aside and told them what was up. "She probably called you by accident," Butter said. Still, out of curiosity, I called her back -- no answer. I left a message.
Just when we sat down at the restaurant, she called me back. It was really loud inside, so I left and went outside to talk to her. (This probably looked really sketchy to Rob Thomas....I will have to explain this to him when the time is right...)
It turns out that she had called me by accident. But we took the opportunity to catch up. Since she's going to be around this summer, she said we should get together for lunch sometime. I was taken aback. "Really?" I asked, surprised. I had always liked her, and was glad to hear that she didn't hate my guts. "No, why would I hate your guts?" she asked.
"Well....after all that happened....I guess I just hope I didn't cause any problems between you and [Repo's girlfriend]," I said.
"Oh, no. [Repo's girlfriend] would not even care at all if we went to lunch," she explained.
"Really? I would think she must hate my guts, and probably thinks I tried to sabotage her relationship. I just hope she realizes that was not my intent at all and that I got absolutely nothing out of it," I explained.
"Trust me. She realizes that. She has always been grateful to you for telling her what was going on, and she always believed everything you said. She knows you didn't get anything out of it," she continued.
"Huh? You mean all this time, she believed me? I thought no one believed me, and Repo made up a bunch of stuff about me and that she must hate me," I said.
"Oh yeah, she totally believed every word you said. I don't know what Repo said to her, because he and I never talked about the situation, but yeah, she believes you. And so do I. When it happened, I told her that she's my friend and I will always support her, even if she took him back. And she decided to give him another shot. But she's definitely holding back in the relationship because of it," she went on.
"Wow. I had no idea," I replied.
Just before getting off the phone with her, she told me she's not sure, but Repo might still be reading my blog. She advised me to keep that in mind. I told her I would be very surprised if he was still reading this thing. And even if he is, I don't care. I am just happy to finally get some validation and know that I'm not hated or not believed. That has been bugging me! So the phone call definitely made me feel a lot better.
Ok, so back to my weekend. The 8 of us had a wonderful Mexican dinner, with lots of beer and enchiladas and laughing. By this point, there was definitely some chemistry between me and Rob. He bought my dinner, which really surprised me. I thanked him, and then we all drove back to Rob & B's house.
It was starting to get late, and I'd been away from my dogs for about 6 hours. They needed to go out. So I had to leave and take care of them. Since I would have gotten lost on the way back (their neighborhood is a total maze), Rob offered to go with me. Woot!
I was a little concerned that my car was dirty and that my house was kinda dirty (it had been raining that day, so it smelled like wet dogs, and my sink was full of dirty dishes), but there wasn't much I could do about it now. Luckily, he didn't seem to mind. He helped me walk the dogs when we got there.
We had the best conversations in the car. Since I live on the opposite side of town, we ended up having lots of time to talk. We discovered a shared taste in music and politics, which never happens to me. Plus, he likes dogs. So by this point, I was pretty much sold.
By the time we got back, our ranks had dwindled (too much beer at dinner) to 5. We played horseshoes for a while and then re-lived our college days with a beer bong until about 2am. The guys were hysterical, making bets on the horseshoes and trying to convince each other that it was NOT their turn to bong the next beer. Eventually, Rob and I ended up watching tv after everyone else went to bed.
That's when he kissed me.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Chicks, Dicks, Flicks and Licks
I will procrastinate at work here for a moment to update y'all on stuff. Lots of friends, guy stuff, movies and eating this weekend! So it was good.
Friday night was the usual happy hour with the Happy Hour Girls. It turns out that Columbia is indeed a teeny-tiny town. So tiny, in fact, that I'm starting to know some of my friends through 2 different people. I was talking to one of the HH Girls (I guess I should assign them names eventually...) and she says, "Oh, have you met my friend L?" and I turn around. It was L, a girl I've known for almost 5 years. I was pleased to see that The Frigid Snoot was not with her. (I am thinking they might not be attached at the hip any more--this is the 2nd time I've run into her without Frigid Snoot operating as an extension of L's body.) We laughed at how small Columbia is, figured out how we both knew the HH Girls, and then caught up. She told me how her husband's doing--he's currently in Iraq. We talked about work stuff and she let me pick her brain. As we were talking, it turns out we were both pulled over on the same street, on the same week, probably by the same cop for the same type of speeding ticket. Weird.
Speaking of which, I am going to court after work today. I think my ticket will be lowered to a 2 pointer, which is good. Ugh, I hate going to court. I start shaking because I'm terrified of judges. They're so.....authoritative. And serious.
Oh, one other thing happened on Friday night. I met a cute guy. Now, before everyone wets their pants, just calm down. Nothing happened. Big surprise, right? Ok, background:
I'm enjoying HH. I keep making accidental eye contact with a guy. (Was it accidental? Coincidental? Intentional? I don't know. But every time I looked up, we seemed to be looking at each other. Mmmm. Cute. Tall. Brown eyes...) As the evening progresses, I realize he knows one of the HH Girls. I'll call her Talker. He's friends with Talker's boyfriend D. I ended up being introduced to him and talking to him for about 2 minutes before I got sidetracked into another conversation. A few minutes later, I look up and see him walking out with D.
D'Oh! Way to mess that one up....
So I got the scoop from Talker later. She said nothing but good things about this guy. He seems really nice and smart. She said she'd put in a good word for me. I'm sure he knows where to find me if he wants to talk to me again. I'm not holding my breath. I didn't have enough contact time to determine anything.
Speaking of hotties, Hot Neighbor was out of town all weekend, so I have NO updates for you on that.
Saturday, I made KT's birthday cheesecake. It took FOREVER. I think about 4 hours. But man, it was good. I'll post the recipe if I ever remember to! It had an oreo crust, a layer of chocolate and caramel melted together, then a layer of crushed up heath bars, then the cheesecake layer, and then more heath bar crunchies. MMMMM. If you eat too much, it will give you a tummy ache. I am speaking from experience, here, people.
After MJ and I sang "Happy Birthday" to KT, we went to eat at Za's Pizza, which is mega-delicious. Then we were off to Flying Saucer to see 88 Rewind play. It is always a good time, catching their covers of 80s songs. Seriously, every town should have an 80s cover band. But I digress. MJ's old roommate, S, joined us, which is great because she's really funny. Then MJ acquired a friend who didn't seem to get the hint that none of us were interested in talking to him. (She's much nicer than I am!) We thought he'd left at one point, but he came back with shots of Patron for everyone. Based on the looks on my friends' faces, Patron is disgusting. After that, I was pooped, so I went home. MJ and KT went on without me to go salsa dancing, but I guess they didn't have any luck.
Saturday night, I had a dream about Repo. I dreamt that it was St. Patty's Day and I had to get up to go party with MJ and KT. I was in a bedroom, which looked a lot like my little sister's room. I was waking up and still in bed when Repo and his girlfriend barged in.
I don't think she said much, but I remember she was really rude in my dream. She started fixing her hair and makeup at the dresser, and I proceeded to quiz Repo.
I asked him all about his relationship with his girlfriend. Did he tell her the truth? Yes. Didn't she get mad? No. She didn't get mad??? Really?? Nope. Was he cheating on her? Yes. Did he cheat on me? Yes. And she seriously wasn't mad??? No. [Gotta love the illogicality of dreams, right???] Then he tells me they are getting married. Keep in mind, he and I are rough-housing during this entire conversation-- I don't know why. But we are sort of wrestling on the bed. He thought we were kidding around, but I was actually pissed off in my dream and consciously trying to hurt him. Apparently, I am a weakling, even in my subconscious, because I couldn't hurt him.
At one point, we stop talking and he tells me I can slap him. I said, "Really? Like, hard?" and he said, "Yup." So I then proceeded to slap the shit out of him three times. I hit him as hard as I could. It didn't seem to hurt him, but it certainly made me feel better.
Then I woke up. DANG! I was hoping I'd get to punch him or stomp on him or something. I guess my subconscious had some violence it had to get out or something. Wanting to get that dumb dream out of my head, I got up, drank some coffee and started watching movies.
I watched Night at the Roxbury, Talladega Nights and The Sweetest Thing. At this point, I was in denial that it was almost 2pm and I was still in my pjs. The first two movies crack me up because I have a tendency to share humor with 12 year old boys. The latter is one of my favorite chick flicks because it's not corny, sad, cheesy or full of kissing. It also accurately represents a lot of my real-life friendships (the teasing, the inside jokes, the crazy road trips, etc.) so I just love it. If you haven't seen this movie, you must, ladies. Make sure you watch the extras on the DVD, because they sing a penis song that is hysterical.
Then I ran some errands, baked another birthday cake for a coworker and went to Outback Steakhouse with Healthy Girl, Nurse P and Brunette. MMMMMM....steak.
Tonight I have to make yet another cake for a pot luck we are having at work tomorrow. (I signed up for cake before I realized how many I'd be making! I feel like Sara Lee or something.)
Friday night was the usual happy hour with the Happy Hour Girls. It turns out that Columbia is indeed a teeny-tiny town. So tiny, in fact, that I'm starting to know some of my friends through 2 different people. I was talking to one of the HH Girls (I guess I should assign them names eventually...) and she says, "Oh, have you met my friend L?" and I turn around. It was L, a girl I've known for almost 5 years. I was pleased to see that The Frigid Snoot was not with her. (I am thinking they might not be attached at the hip any more--this is the 2nd time I've run into her without Frigid Snoot operating as an extension of L's body.) We laughed at how small Columbia is, figured out how we both knew the HH Girls, and then caught up. She told me how her husband's doing--he's currently in Iraq. We talked about work stuff and she let me pick her brain. As we were talking, it turns out we were both pulled over on the same street, on the same week, probably by the same cop for the same type of speeding ticket. Weird.
Speaking of which, I am going to court after work today. I think my ticket will be lowered to a 2 pointer, which is good. Ugh, I hate going to court. I start shaking because I'm terrified of judges. They're so.....authoritative. And serious.
Oh, one other thing happened on Friday night. I met a cute guy. Now, before everyone wets their pants, just calm down. Nothing happened. Big surprise, right? Ok, background:
I'm enjoying HH. I keep making accidental eye contact with a guy. (Was it accidental? Coincidental? Intentional? I don't know. But every time I looked up, we seemed to be looking at each other. Mmmm. Cute. Tall. Brown eyes...) As the evening progresses, I realize he knows one of the HH Girls. I'll call her Talker. He's friends with Talker's boyfriend D. I ended up being introduced to him and talking to him for about 2 minutes before I got sidetracked into another conversation. A few minutes later, I look up and see him walking out with D.
D'Oh! Way to mess that one up....
So I got the scoop from Talker later. She said nothing but good things about this guy. He seems really nice and smart. She said she'd put in a good word for me. I'm sure he knows where to find me if he wants to talk to me again. I'm not holding my breath. I didn't have enough contact time to determine anything.
Speaking of hotties, Hot Neighbor was out of town all weekend, so I have NO updates for you on that.
Saturday, I made KT's birthday cheesecake. It took FOREVER. I think about 4 hours. But man, it was good. I'll post the recipe if I ever remember to! It had an oreo crust, a layer of chocolate and caramel melted together, then a layer of crushed up heath bars, then the cheesecake layer, and then more heath bar crunchies. MMMMM. If you eat too much, it will give you a tummy ache. I am speaking from experience, here, people.
After MJ and I sang "Happy Birthday" to KT, we went to eat at Za's Pizza, which is mega-delicious. Then we were off to Flying Saucer to see 88 Rewind play. It is always a good time, catching their covers of 80s songs. Seriously, every town should have an 80s cover band. But I digress. MJ's old roommate, S, joined us, which is great because she's really funny. Then MJ acquired a friend who didn't seem to get the hint that none of us were interested in talking to him. (She's much nicer than I am!) We thought he'd left at one point, but he came back with shots of Patron for everyone. Based on the looks on my friends' faces, Patron is disgusting. After that, I was pooped, so I went home. MJ and KT went on without me to go salsa dancing, but I guess they didn't have any luck.
Saturday night, I had a dream about Repo. I dreamt that it was St. Patty's Day and I had to get up to go party with MJ and KT. I was in a bedroom, which looked a lot like my little sister's room. I was waking up and still in bed when Repo and his girlfriend barged in.
I don't think she said much, but I remember she was really rude in my dream. She started fixing her hair and makeup at the dresser, and I proceeded to quiz Repo.
I asked him all about his relationship with his girlfriend. Did he tell her the truth? Yes. Didn't she get mad? No. She didn't get mad??? Really?? Nope. Was he cheating on her? Yes. Did he cheat on me? Yes. And she seriously wasn't mad??? No. [Gotta love the illogicality of dreams, right???] Then he tells me they are getting married. Keep in mind, he and I are rough-housing during this entire conversation-- I don't know why. But we are sort of wrestling on the bed. He thought we were kidding around, but I was actually pissed off in my dream and consciously trying to hurt him. Apparently, I am a weakling, even in my subconscious, because I couldn't hurt him.
At one point, we stop talking and he tells me I can slap him. I said, "Really? Like, hard?" and he said, "Yup." So I then proceeded to slap the shit out of him three times. I hit him as hard as I could. It didn't seem to hurt him, but it certainly made me feel better.
Then I woke up. DANG! I was hoping I'd get to punch him or stomp on him or something. I guess my subconscious had some violence it had to get out or something. Wanting to get that dumb dream out of my head, I got up, drank some coffee and started watching movies.
I watched Night at the Roxbury, Talladega Nights and The Sweetest Thing. At this point, I was in denial that it was almost 2pm and I was still in my pjs. The first two movies crack me up because I have a tendency to share humor with 12 year old boys. The latter is one of my favorite chick flicks because it's not corny, sad, cheesy or full of kissing. It also accurately represents a lot of my real-life friendships (the teasing, the inside jokes, the crazy road trips, etc.) so I just love it. If you haven't seen this movie, you must, ladies. Make sure you watch the extras on the DVD, because they sing a penis song that is hysterical.
Then I ran some errands, baked another birthday cake for a coworker and went to Outback Steakhouse with Healthy Girl, Nurse P and Brunette. MMMMMM....steak.
Tonight I have to make yet another cake for a pot luck we are having at work tomorrow. (I signed up for cake before I realized how many I'd be making! I feel like Sara Lee or something.)
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