Thursday 13

Thirteen Things I Wonder About

Just in case you ever doubted that I am insane....this is a peek into my strange little brain!

1. If you don't have any family nearby, how do you get to use your "family sick leave"? Can I consider my dog family? Or my good friends? This term seems to be prejudiced to single people, orphans or those of a more independent nature.

2. How do people with very long fingernails or hair down to their knees keep themselves....er, clean down there? Won't those things get in the way during certain....natural activities?

3. What is so damn difficult about being a newscaster? Don't they just read a teleprompter? Geez, anyone can do that.

4. Is there really a reference to Superman in every Seinfeld episode?

5. If your boss asks you to proof-read something, and you find a lot of spelling/grammatical errors, is it a good idea to bleed all over their work? Or not?

6. Here in SC, ambulances are run by private companies. They are not necessarily associated with any particular hospital or area. This is very puzzling to me. If they are taking you to the hospital, why doesn't the hospital run the ambulance company?

7. Does Head-On really work?

8. Do dogs like dog food? Or do they just eat it to prevent starvation? Because I know very few dogs that get excited about kibbles, if you are holding a sandwich. I imagine dog food doesn't taste very good, even to dogs. Otherwise, they wouldn't get so excited about my ham and cheese.

9. What is it like to be a trucker? How do you pay your bills? Do they get bored? How do they stay fit? Don't they get sick of listening to music or talk radio eventually? How do they do their laundry? I could go on and on....I wish someone would make a documentary about this. It would be very educational.

10. I saw this TV show about a rescue dog. She could smell a human that was trapped under 5 feet of snow. That's one heck of a nose. My question is, in normal, everyday living, we must just REEK and STINK to dogs, right? Five feet of smelling power indicates one hell of a sensitive nose. Do dogs stink, or do we?

11. Think about a night-time skyline of a city. Some of the lights in the skyscrapers are on, but not all. The lights sometimes change from day to day. Did all those people forget to turn off the lights in their offices? Are they on timers? Are some lights designed to stay on forever? Does it indicate that the cleaning crew is on that floor? Why those lights and not others? Wouldn't it save a bunch of energy if they turned all of them off? (There are red lights that blink on the top of the building, so no planes would hit it or anything.)

12. Who does buy what those telemarkers are selling? I mean, someone's buying the stuff, otherwise they would stop calling everyone.

13. Ever see that episode of Sex and the City where Berger mentions how he collects found playing cards? I guess all around Manhattan, people leave random playing cards laying around??? His goal was to eventually collect an entire set of 52 cards. Does this "game" actually exist? Do people leave cards around in Manhattan? Or was it just something he did for fun? I can't tell from the episode if the cards are left intentionally or not.

There you have it. The things I wonder when I'm driving, brushing my teeth, on hold, waiting for the light to change, etc. Just a little insight into how crazy I am.

Preview for tomorrow's post: I put in an offer on a house!!! If all goes well, I will be living in my own home soon after Halloween!!!!!

Mysterious

I have a fun feature on my myspace page. I got it from Free Flash Toys. It is this virtual refrigerator where people can leave me messages using those alphabetical fridge magnets--you know, the ones you had as a kid. (If you are lost, just go to the website. You can see what I am talking about there.)

I thought it would be a fun way for people to just say hi or whatever. But I keep getting these weird messages! They make no sense at all. Examples:

Go Home! (This one has appeared several times)

Take the knife out of my heart! (This one also used one of my nicknames in the message.)

I Love You [my real name]!! --[some crazy girl's name I've never even heard of]

Needless to say, these messages are both puzzling and creepy. I am home. Do they mean my hometown? Or Indy? Do they not like me living in SC? A knife in their heart?? Someone's being a little dramatic, I think. Is someone mad at me? No, wait, someone out there loves me. I have no idea who she is, but she loves me. Good to know, I suppose. It's almost something from a horror movie or an episode of The Twilight Zone.

Now, I did turn down a date with Black Eye, but this is nothing new, as he has asked me out three times and gotten the same answer each time. Do you think he is trying to get back at me?? He would be most likely, I suppose, to leave a message referring to my leaving a knife in his heart.....right?

I seriously doubt that Repo would be motivated enough to do something like that. Besides, I'm sure he isn't crying over me by any wild stretch of the imagination. And College Boyfriend would not leave anything so obscure. He would probably just email me or say hi. My girlfriends would leave something nice and simple. These are not inside jokes I have with anyone. So I am stuck scratching my head. The thing is, anyone who happens across my page can leave a message, just as anyone here can leave a comment, only my fridge is 100% anonymous. So I will never have any idea who is leaving these.

I wish people would just leave normal messages. This is very puzzling. If you are doing it, fess up!!!

In other news...I went out with MJ this weekend. We had a good time, as usual, catching up and laughing. We went to a bar called The Wild Hare, where we ran into...

FedSucksy.

I can't escape this guy! I keep running into him! Aaaarrrgh!!! And it's not helping that he looks smokin' hot every time I see him! Seriously, he is just scrumptious.

He and his roommate talked to us for a while--maybe about an hour. They were pretty drunk, while she and I were stone cold sober. This, of course, is easy pickings for me.

"Hey, did you change your number? Because I called you a bunch of times and left messages, but you never called back," he said.

"Yeah, I know," I deadpanned.

"Oh, so you didn't change your number?" he asked.

"Nope," I said bluntly.

Then I explained to him that if he truly wanted to apologize to me for what he did, he would have made a coffee date and stuck with it, instead of always cancelling at the last minute and playing phone tag with me. I told him I ran out of patience and I didn't have time for crap like that. He apologized for the coffee cancelling. And for standing me up last winter.

Then he "accidentally" spilled beer on my purse. (Payback, perhaps, for the drink I dumped on him?)

Then he complimented my makeup. WTF???

He also mentioned how the gym class had kicked his ass, which was something I definitely enjoyed hearing. I gave him some tips about the class, and he told me he is at the gym pretty much every day around 6:45. Hmmm...why was he telling me this? Was he flirting with me? Then again, maybe it was just my imagination....

Either way, eventually MJ and I tired of them and left.

Men make absolutely no sense. This guy stands me up, is a total asshole about it, then proceeds to start kissing my ass a few months later, only to spill beer on my purse and flirt with me. Then again, he did ask for a ride home from the bars, so maybe that was his motivation!

Apparently, I have officially hit my Cynical Stage.

Never fear, this isn't over yet. Tonight is Tuesday, which means he and I will face off at the gym again. I'll keep you posted.

Thursday 13 (Late)

So, thanks to the wonders of myspace, I have been emailing my ex-boyfriend from college. Talk about a blast from my past. It's pretty interesting to discuss our relationship and breakup 7 years later, as more mature and experienced adults. There's definitely still some chemistry floating around, which is very odd. Have you ever had one of those relationships that seemed like it ended before its time? Like there was unfinished business between you? Where you always wondered why you ever broke up in the first place? That's how this relationship was for me. I'm sure nothing is happening, but it is definitely interesting to get closure and perspective several years later. If I do end up making a trip to Indy soon, I will definitely hang out with him.

As far as house news is concerned, I have talked to the real estate agent in charge of the development, and she provided me with a ton of information. It turns out that they have some models that are within my budget, which was a big relief. She told me about all the special offers they have, and I have to say, they seem pretty nice:

--the builder is paying all closing costs.
--if I don't use a realtor and just buy from them, they knock 2% off the cost of the home. (This will come out to about $2,500 in savings for me.)
--the builder has to pay a bunch of taxes by January 1. As an incentive to get people to buy, he is throwing in some free upgrades. The upgrades can be up to 2% of the cost of the home (So again, I am looking at $2500 worth of free stuff.)
--there is a special deal with the county where they will pay my 20% down payment. It is still a loan, but it's only at 4%. This way, I would avoid PMI.
--If I use their mortgage broker, I will save even more. So I am calling her today to see what kind of a deal she can give me. I want something that is fixed for the life of the loan. (After some thought, I don't think an ARM loan would be a good idea these days. Interest rates are slowly climbing, and I could get screwed.)

So this is looking like a pretty sweet deal at this point. I looked at the model home and saw the details--fixtures, finishes, appliances, etc. I have a pretty good understanding of what the house would look like and what upgrades I would ask for, etc. If I sign a contract by the first week of October, I will close on my house the week before my lease is up, which would be perfect timing. Since this is a huge decision, I'm not pressuring myself to make any moves by early October, but I am keeping it in the back of my mind. I'm getting kind of excited.

The Czarina thinks I should still look around for a while. She thinks I have not looked at enough houses. She wants me to get a couple different realtors to take me around and show me stuff. So that's what I'm doing today. I am going to make some phone calls. This weekend, I will probably be running around, checking out more houses.

For some reason, no one ever seems to believe me when I make decisions early and easily. They always think that I don't know what I'm doing. However, the thing is, I know it when I see it. I know instantly what I like and don't like, and I have very rarely been wrong with my initial decision. I'm not the girl who needs to "think about it" or hem and haw over a decision. Example: Sammy was the first dog I looked at, I knew he was the dog for me, the end. And I adore my dog. He's perfect.

Another example: I had a friend who was dying to get me to try sushi. I told him, "Look, I will not like it. I'm telling you now. It's not my thing." He didn't believe me, and dragged me anyway. And you know what? I hated it. Just like I said I would.

I don't understand why people think I don't know myself. I'm pretty much an expert at this point.

Anyway, I am actually ready to go ahead and sign on the dotted line with this house, but Czarina would freak. Since I have plenty of time and it can't hurt to look around, I am going to look at some other houses just to make her feel better about it. And I guess this is a little different than buying a dog. Ha ha!

Tonight I'm going out with MJ for a girl's night and tomorrow a bunch of people are getting together for Charleston Guy's birthday. I'm hoping to spend Saturday and Sunday afternoons looking at houses. So I will have a fairly social weekend, which is good. I have been Hermit Girl lately. It's time to break in my new shoes.

Now, when will I squeeze in gym time? (My motivation has definitely returned after kicking FedSucksy's ass the other day!) Hmmmm...

Anyway, I forgot to post my Thursday 13 yesterday, so here it is. It goes well with my one from last week.

Thirteen Ways I Will Never Be Like The Czarina*

1. My handwriting is legible.

2. I carry hand sanitizer in my purse.

3. I own more than 3 lipsticks and 2 eyeshadows. I wear purfume almost every day.

4. I do not find thong underwear "disgusting" and "tacky".

5. My room is always a total mess.

6. I have no problem with being a couch potato every once in a while.

7. Patience is not a foreign concept to me.

8. I can eat my weight in sugar.

9. Math will always baffle me.

10. The number on my scale is not the most important thing about me.

11. My purse is never organized.

12. I absolutely adore dogs.

13. I cry fairly easily.

*Please note that I do love my mother very much, and would be lost without her. But like most young women I know, my relationship with her is somewhat...complicated. And by that, I mean that sometimes, I want to kill her.

Tagged

Hey! This is my 200th post! Cool. I posted eariler today, too, if you scroll down.

Funny moment of the week: I was walking Sammy. I saw a cute guy in the parking lot. I kind of smiled and said hi as he was getting into his car. Not 2 seconds after that, I walked into a gigantic spider web, complete with massively huge spider. By the time I saw it, it was too late. I was totally enveloped in this sticky, icky spiderweb, and I lost track of the massively huge spider. By this point, he was in his car, and he probably saw the whole thing, yet it was out of context since he couldn't hear my squeals and screaming. I just looked like some sqirmy girl, dancing around like a maniac, wiping something invisible from myself. What a great first impression.

Sammy starts his training class tonight. He will be valedictorian, I just know it, because he is World's Smartest Dog. He learned "sit" and "stay" in two days. We have been practicing at home already. By the end of class, he will sit, stay, lay down, walk better on a leash and come when he is called. It will be so fun. I'm sure I will have stories from these weekly classes.

Becky tagged me last week. I've done this meme before (see sidebar), but I thought of 6 more. And I'm just now getting around to writing it! Here goes:

Six (More) Weird Things About Me

1. I really prefer my orange juice with lots of pulp. Mmmm, pulpy!

2. If I go to one of those stadiums/coliseums where the seats are at a really steep incline, and the person sitting in front of you is actually underneath you practically, I will be white-knuckling it the whole time. I cannot stand being in buildings like that. I feel like I could fall out of my seat and tumble all the way to the bottom at any given second. I kind of get vertigo, almost. I think I have a fear of heights--shaking, sweating, clammy skin, dry mouth...you name it.

3. In my family tree, there are some really weird/awful names*: Florence, Wilbur, Harold, Euphemia**, Eulella, Ephraim, Ebenezer, Elmer (I think), Ida, Arabella (actually, I kind of like that one), Imogene, Desire (there were some Puritans in my family, back in the day) and Dorothy, to name a few.

*No offense to anyone with loved ones by these names. This blog merely reflects my own humble opinion. So no angry emails, ok?
**This name sounds like a medical condition to me. Like, "Well, the doctor said I have some euphemiation in my toes." or "Oh no! I've been diagnosed with euphemia!" Anyway, this is a running joke in my family.

4. I just asked K if I do anything weird, and she informed me that I chew rhythmically. I guess there is a set pattern of chewing to which I have grown accustomed. I had no idea. So to hear this cracked me up, especially since I laugh at Sammy for the same thing! You could set a metronome to his water slurping.

5. I can flip you off with my toes. No joke. Maybe I should post a pic of that. I can also flare my nostrils voluntarily and raise my left eyebrow. And shake my eyeballs. It's kinda gross. You'd have to see it in person. My brothers can do it, too. We are one eyeball-shaking family.

6. I like the smell of fertilizer. Not the animal-poop/fish carcass kind. The artificial, inorganic kind. Then again, I like any smell associated with plants. This goes for candles, purfumes, air fresheners, etc. too. If it says "rainforest", "fig", "cypress", "meadow", "moss" or "fern" I will probably love it. This makes purfumes shopping difficult, as most purfumes smell citrusy or floral. It's an ongoing struggle.

Ok, who to tag? How about Teahouse and MJ? Or anyone else who wants to do it!

A Fat Ass-Kicking

The coolest thing happened to me last night.

I finally dragged my flabby ass into the gym and faced the weight-lifting class I have been avoiding for months.

I'm walking into the classroom (I guess that's what you call it...it's a room...there are classess...anyway...) and who do I see?

FedSucksy. The asshole who stood me up last winter. And then tried to "apologize over coffee" last month, but then would never settle on a time and place, and so I got annoyed, my patience ran out and I just stopped answering/returning his calls.

Super. I had totally forgotten he went to my gym. (Secretly, I have to say, he's still pretty hot. But not hot enough for me to take his calls!) We had a courteous "hello" but that was it. Luckily, aside from the 10 pounds I have gained, I looked decent. Whew! Oh, wait. I forgot I have a big zit on my forehead. Oh well. I guess I shouldn't care.

So I am setting up for my class. And he walks in. It turns out, he also likes to take this class, I suppose. Wonderful. From where we were standing, I could watch him out of the corner of my eye--I was slightly behind him. Not that I was looking. Much.

Here is the cool part: I kicked his ass in class! He kept taking breaks and sitting down and pausing for a rest. This, of course, only motivated me further. I did every rep, (almost) every tricep dip*, every lunge and every situp. Of course, I'm kind of sore today, but it was worth it.

Go. Me.

Since I can't high-five myself, y'all will have to send me virtual ones.

*Tricep dips-- have you ever done those things? They are hard as hell. Seriously, I thought I would die. I used to be able to do 30 of them in a row. I will have to work my way back to that. Especially now that I have to keep proving to him that I can kick his ass!!!! This is the best motivator ever. I wish every guy I've ever dated went to my gym. I'd be in the best shape!

House Shopping

I have been sucked into the vortex/black hole that is real estate shopping. Oh. My. God. Neighborhoods, resale value, school districts, fixed loans, variable rate loans, mortgage insurance, home inspections.....

It's crazy.

What have I learned so far?

1. I can have either location or the right price, but not both. If it does have both, it's ugly.

2. I have really good credit. (Woo Hoo!)

3. I wish I had $20k for a down payment.

4. PMI is not good to have. But I'm not really seeing how I will get out of having it. Assuming I am understanding it correctly.

5. I know what an ARM loan is. I think I want one.

6. I know how to check and see when the house was built.

7. I know it's good to have a roof vent, especially where I live.

8. All the cute homes are already taken.

9. Certain types of siding are good....others, not so good.

10. I do not want to fool with removing hideous wallpaper.

11. A surprising number of couples have purple bedrooms.

12. Lots of houses have large sheds in the backyard. It is more than you would need for lawn mower storage. I have no idea what I would do with a shed like this. Take up gardening?

13. In this town, you can be on one street and think you are in a really nice neighborhood, but when you go one block over, it is skeeeeeetch-y.

14. More people should have re-done their houses a long time ago. If your house was built in 1960, and you still have the wood paneling and original avocado-colored countertops, folks, it's time.

15. The house I want is about $15k more than I want to spend. It looks like this:


See how cute?? And new = few repairs. (I am thinking about only looking at new-ish homes just for this reason alone.) I am going to talk to the development's real estate agent today about these little patio homes here. Maybe we can work something out. Wish me luck!

Quickie #2/ Fun Friday

Random tidbits in my brain:

1. Well, I've never had a better excuse to eat pizza rather than salad. Woo-hoo! I get to throw away all my yucky salad when I go home. Papa John's, here I come!

2. The reason why you can hate me now: I am going to fill up my gas tank this weekend. For $2.20 per gallon.

3. Have I told you that I am almost murdered every day? It's true. When I am on my lunch break, there is always some wack-job trying to run me off the road. It is bizarre. I've been cut off, I've had to switch lanes to avoid an accident, I've wanted to flip the bird...you name it. Seriously, if you saw how these people drive, you'd be fearing for your life, too. It has happened enough that I notice it and brace myself for it. Today, I turned a corner, and came face to face with an ambulance headed straight for me. It was obviously answering a call, and I had heard it, but I assumed it was the police car up ahead of me. Then I turned the corner and HOLY SCHNIKES!!!! Seriously, I almost had a head on. The wierd thing is, it only happens on my lunch break. I wonder what the universe is trying to tell me. Maybe, "Eat like it is your last meal!"

4. This is hilarious. Yet totally disgusting at the same time. Just my kind of site. Thanks to Evel for sharing. I wonder what Steve will eat next.

5. This is disgusting. Yet totally hilarious at the same time. You have to read the police report to get the funny bits. Ever read this site? It is great! Every day they have the craziest stories.

6. Sammy is getting his teeth cleaned today. So far, they haven't called me to say they are doing any extractions, which is good. He seemed confused that he was going for a ride so early in the morning (I had to drop him off before work), but once he was there, he seemed to want to say, "Cool! Where are we going, nice Vet Tech lady?" And I was forgotten. No goodbyes, no whining. This must be how mothers feel when they drop their kid off at kindergarted for the first time.

7. They actually spelled my name right at Starbuck's today. I think that is a first.

8. Did I tell you about Dr. Cluck, the chicken my little sister, Smurf, had as a pet? (Background: Fungus worked at a chicken farm last summer. He managed to get a baby chick and bring it home as a pet for her. She, ever so wittingly, named the chicken Dr. Cluck.) Well, apparently Czarina found the carcass today in the yard. She thinks a fox got Dr. Cluck. "Let me put it to you this way," she said, "I'm not going to be eating chicken for a looooong time." RIP, Dr. Cluck.

9. More Smurf news: The homecoming dance is coming up. She was asked to the dance by a guy in the grade above her (!!!!). I was getting really excited about this story, until Czarina added: "...but she said she can't go with him because they don't know each other well enough." This is making me seriously doubt my supposed genetic relationship with her. Turn down? A date? To a dance???? Is she high??

When I was her age, I was so desperate for male attention, I would have gone to the dance with the Hunchback of Notre Dame if he had asked me. I don't even know what to say. I am just shaking my head. (My theory is that the guy was a major dork/jerk and it would have been social suicide to be seen in public with him.)

How am I supposed to re-live high school if she doesn't do what I would do???

10. [This one is for fellow college football fans. You can skip it otherwise.] Have you heard this story? And let me tell ya what--our QB really doesn't have room to be messing around like this. He isn't the best QB I've ever seen. He actually kinda sucks. My coworker and I believe that the bouncer must have said a snide comment to him about his poor playing in the last game, and that started the fight. Anyway, he is suspended for this week's game, but I heard he will be back next week. And for the love of Pete, I wish he'd get a different haircut. What is that??

Again, I say, what is up with the drunken bar fighting, men???? So stupid.

Have a great weekend, guys! I hope there are none of the following in your weekends: dead chickens, bar fights, E. coli, expensive gas, animal love, pulled teeth, disgusting food or head-on collisions with ambulances.

Quickie

No, not that kind, sicko!

Wait, I was the only one thinking that, wasn't I?

So, I'm at work. I'm slowly chipping away at catching up on my blogs. I'm getting to you, I swear!

And I just realized I haven't been replying to my comments this week. Oops. So if you have commented recently, scroll down to read my reply.

Just a couple of random tidbits I am going to share with you:

1. There is currently a middle-aged, balding, chubby guy in the library right now. He's sitting at a computer and making all kinds of disgusting bodily function noises: burps, sneezes, nose-blowing, phlegmy sounds, you name it. He is keeping a napkin on his lap for obvious reasons. Ask me how excited I am to turn off that computer before I go home.

2. He also is on myspace. I don't want to think too much about it other than that.

3. A minute ago, I learned that my coworker cannot spell "Vietnam". I found this entertaining, as it doesn't strike me as a difficult word. She kept typing "Vietnan" and "Veitnan".

4. Then again, she's about 83 and deaf to boot.

5. A teacher has an assignment out right now. They give it every semester. The students have to read a book covering any topic they want as long as it deals with American history from 1877-Present.

In 129 years of history, people, wars, events, movements, inventions, celebrities, controversies, art, music, politics, scandals and technology, you'd think there would be something for everyone.

Yet none of the students ever have a topic in mind. This blows my mind. Look, I know history isn't for everyone. But in 129 years' worth of events in your native country, you can't think of a single thing or person that even remotely interests you?? I ask them this, and they reply,

"Well, yeah, I can. It's just that all those books are, like, 500 pages long."

I just want to say, "They don't just give the diplomas away, you know."

Thursday 13

Thirteen Signs I'm Turning into My Mother

1. I have said, "That's pretty, but how do you clean it?" (This one literally made me gasp in shock the second it flew out of my mouth. I clapped my hand over my mouth instantly. Then I called Czarina to tell her what I just said. We had a good laugh.)

2. I walk at around 35 miles per hour. I have things to do, people. Keep up or stay at home.

3. I have described someone as "milque toast" and have a deep disdain for those kind of people. I, too, want to "squash them like a bug." Mealy-mouth ninnies.

4. Stress and worry give me insomnia now.

5. As a new pet owner, I now know that "a little dog hair never killed anyone."

6. I have perfected my fake, polite laugh. I use it around boring people who think they are funny.

7. Sometimes, when I call people, I don't want to chew the fat or tell them I love them. I need information from them, and then I want to get off the phone. I don't understand why some people are offended by this. The telephone is a communication tool, after all. They know I love them.

8. I am 5 minutes late for everything.

9. Reliability is my middle name. If you need the world conquered by 10 am, you need to call me or Czarina. We are your girls.

10. Everyone needs my advice. Without having to ask for it. This may or may not be delivered in a way often described as "bossy." Don't take it personally.

11. My tongue is sharpened to the keenest of points. I am not as afraid to use it as I once was. (I have inherited my mother's ability to make anyone, even Mother Theresa, feel like an asshole with my one-liners. We are way past "guilt trips" here, folks. Czarina and I are professionals. Don't try this at home.)

12. Efficiency is next to Godliness.

13. I have "space cadet" moments. Today, I left my wallet at the car place. I have never ever left my wallet (or anything that important) anywhere before. The car place then called me to say they had my wallet, thank God. I was mortified--I pride myself on being very "together". Ha! Not any more. I am officially 80% Mom as of today.

Then again, when I got there, they informed me that I hadn't forgotten it, but had accidentally dropped it and hadn't noticed. Maybe I'm not a Czarinette after all...

Intersection

It's happened. I have been tagged by Vixen to do a meme. The same meme I just did recently on myspace. So for those of you who have already read this, you get to play hooky today. This is apparently the intersection of Blogger Avenue and myspace Street, in case anyone is lost.

This came at a good time, as I had major writer's block today. Nothing was gelling. Who wants to read another random tidbit post, anyway? *silence* I thought so.

Here goes. But if I encounter a stupid question, I will replace it with a cooler one. So actually, this would be new to everyone.

Random Questions

***FOOD***
What is your salad dressing of choice?
Ken's Steak House Light Caesar. MMM. or that Ginger dressing at Japanese restaurants.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
Wendy's or Chik-fil-a. (Or, as I like to call it, "Chick-to-tha-fizzle-ill-ay")

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Ok, I'm sure no one really cares about this, so I will instead substitute this with a random thought from my brain: The last movie I watched was Adventures in Babysitting.

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
Again, I'm sure you don't care. How about: If you could have one superpower, what would it be? I would pick the ability to be invisible. Then I could play jokes on people. And listen in on conversations I wouldn't normally get to hear. Although, having the ability to read people's minds would be good, too.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Ice cream. Candy. Fried chicken. Cheese.

I wish I could say the same for salad. I eat about 2 per year. I hate salad.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Anything but sausage, olives, pineapple or anchovies.

What do you like to put on your toast?
Don't really like toast.

What is your favorite type of gum?
Ok, if you really want to know this, email me. Otherwise, I will substitute a cooler bit of information: One day, I want to get into gardening.

**TECHNOLOGY**

Number of contacts in your cell phone? I have no idea. It's pretty much everyone I know, including my favorite pizza place (for those spur-of-the-moment pizza cravings when you are stuck in traffic--seriously, this has happened to me!), the kennel for my dog, my old boss, 4 ex-boyfriends, an in-case-of-emergency-booty-call-only guy*, my hairdresser, a few people I don't even talk to anymore, some people I am sure have moved by now, the movie theaters I like to go to, Repo's mom**, Lady Starfish's work number, and the emergency line for my car insurance.

*Um, yeah, he's really hot. And every time I go to call, I chicken out. Actually, I think he moved, too. He used to go to my gym. I need to start looking for him...but you see, he "doesn't date" he "only hooks up". Dang. Hence, the booty-call-only status.

**Totally forgot I had that number. I will keep it in case I need to blackmail him at some point. Hee hee hee...

Number of contacts in your email address book?
Unlike Vixen, I am sure mine is much less than 431. Apparently, she emails everyone in America. I try to stick to east of the Mississippi, with a few Californians thrown in. But I will say that I have 4 email addresses.

What is your wallpaper on your computer?
what else?-- Sammy. But, if I were brave enough to snap photos of hot guys working out at my gym, it would be that.

What is your screensaver on your computer?
I can never find one I like, so right now, none.

How many televisions are in your house?
Substitute answer: Have I told you guys that I am almost killed every day? Yeah. The road I drive on to get to work appears to be a magnet for pscyho drivers. I am not kidding. It is a life or death situation every time I drive to/from work.

What kitchen appliance do you use the least?
The toaster--see above.

What is the radio station you listen to the most?
Whatever the R&B or rap stations are. But I will pop over to the classic rock station on occassion. And the pop station. But usually, I listen to CDs. (I am the only American without an ipod. Trust me, I know.)

**BIOLOGY**

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
my boobs. Or my lips. I'm pretty happy in those departments.

Are you right handed or left handed?
Left. Did you know I can probably recite Office Space, Gone with the Wind and Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail?

Do you like your smile?
Yes. True to form, Czarina tells me it is "too much". But I get compliments, so...

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Blood. Teeth. One chunk of skin. (Sorry, gross, I know.) Two moles. Splinters. Wait, does that count?

Would you like to have something removed from your body?
My ass. Yeah, pretty much all of it. Or at least the cellulite.

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
Do you care? How about this instead: I have recently lost my favorite lip gloss. And this is bugging the shit out of me because I never lose things, especially items in my precious makeup collection. And it was a limited-edition color. Pisser.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Uh...I would say smell, I suppose. I am actually concerned with my hearing. I think I may have damaged it somewhat and I will be deaf when I am old.

When was the last time you had a cavity?
I just had my first one the last time I went. And they didn't file the filling down properly, and so it hurts to eat on the right side of my mouth. But I've already had them adjust it twice, and I don't want to keep going in because they will think I'm insane, so now I just chew on the left side.

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
My boobs. Ok, I am just kidding. K would say my purse, because I am like an old lady and carry everything but the kitchen sink in it. Do not be surprised if you see me pull the following things out of my purse: an orange, nail polish, an eyelash curler, a can of diet coke, dental floss, a bottle of Excedrin, a magazine, 8 lip glosses, a copy of my resume, trash from my car, a styrofoam cup, plastic silverware or my cell charger. Lord help me if I'm ever a mother.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Yeah. But you should'a seen the other girl. Kidding. No, but I am a fainter. I have the ability to faint easily. However, it is not fun, as when I wake up, I want to barf and I have a headache. So I have learned how to control it. I haven't fainted in about 5 years. Now I am more likely to barf. I am a barfer.

**A bunch of stuff-OLOGY**

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No, because I would change how I live and act. And that is messed up. I would just be crying all the time. Who wants to live like that. However, I would like to know one thing: If I am ever getting married, have I already met him? Or not? (I actually wonder about this all the time.)

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Something that people would never, ever name their dogs. (My real name is a very popular dog name, and I really hate that.)

How do you express your artistic side?
When did I get one of those??? I can draw decently. Every once in a while, I have a crafty moment and I will make something. But that's it. I express myself verbally so much that I guess I'm all expressed out by the time the crayons are placed in front of me.

What color do you think you look best in?
Pink. But do you really want to know that? Wouldn't you rather know that my first celebrity crush was Mark Wahlberg, back when he was still Marky Mark of Funky Bunch claim?

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
I am a complete wuss. I would be dead meat, hands down. It would be like watching Private Benjamin, only the setting would be a prison. Instead of camo, I would be wearing an orange jump suit.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
"Yes. On purpose. Many times."--ok, that was Vixen's answer, and it was so good, that I have to just leave it there. Like I told her, I wish I'd thought of it first.

I did swallow a bug once. I was flapping my big mouth (surprise, surprise) and it flew in. I was so surprised, I gulped instinctively. Ew.

If we werent bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
Ok, who is the sick f--k who wrote this survey? No. But under these circumstances, I would make a pass at a couple of DILFs I've met....

How often do you go to church?
Um...not at all lately. I could make up a lame excuse, but I won't. Guess I have a first-class ticket to hell. Then again, if I'm going anyway, I might as well go out with a bang. Good thing I kept Mr. HookUp's number.

Have you ever saved someones life?
I don't think so....unless I was driving and I braked just in the nick of time or something. Wouldn't it be cool if saved a hot guy's life, and he had to follow me around until he got an opportunity to save mine? Like in the movies. I would immediately become this OSHA-level safe person, so he would have to live with me forever. Then he would have to go to dinner with me all the time--I could choke, you know. And, it would probably be a good idea for him to bunk in bed with me, just in case I am bit by a poisonous spider in my sleep. Right?

Has someone ever saved yours?
Not in any dramatic, memorable way, no. But I'm sure someone blocked me from walking out into oncoming traffic at some point. Czarina was good at that.

**DARE-OLOGY**

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Actually, I think I would do this. I don't know how many people would want to watch, though. I certainly have a lot of "wobbly bits" I don't want most people seeing.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Everyone keeps nagging me to try it anyway. I guess getting paid for it would make it that much easier.

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Can I die from that? How much would it impede my daily living? Clearly, I need more information.

Would you never blog again for $50,000?
That would suck, but I would do it. Before this started, talking on the phone with Lady Starfish was my blogging.

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
This might not make sense, but there is no amount of money that would ever get me to do this. It's too close to being a hooker/stripper in my book. Not exactly something I want on my resume. Plus, during the photoshoot, I would have one thought running through my head: Soon, teenage boys will be sneaking into their dads' rooms to find this under the mattress so they can jerk off to my photo. Ew.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
I'd probably do this one, too. It would pay off a lot of my Visa.

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
I don't know about this one. I think the guilt would take all the fun out of it for me. Then, I would live my life in fear of karma's revenge....so, negative to this offer.

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
No way, Jose. Unless I was doing it to support Anne. :)

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
Yeah. I'm a librarian. I should read more. Besides, that much money would mean I would have ZERO debt. Wow. Super thought.

Now who to tag with this? I guess just do it if you want to. But if you do, tell me so I can come read it!

Dog, House and Non-Dating

I had a pretty good weekend. I didn't go out on Friday night because I was worried about Sammy. Then on Saturday was the game. We lost to Georgia We had our asses handed to us by Georgia. But it was fun to tailgate with Mack Daddy, his cousin, Black Eye and K. Luckily, there were no awkward moments between me and Black Eye. We went to a friend's house to watch the game. I was too tired to watch the end of it. And too tired to meet up with Mack Daddy afterwards. Zzzzzz....

On Saturday morning, when I got up, Sammy was still lethargic and shaking. So I figured something was still wrong with him. I took him to a nearby vet who was open on Saturdays, unlike my usual one.

They were great! Their office feels much less rushed and their staff are very calm and patient. They answered all my questions and even gave me some tips. For example: If your dog is shaking, and they aren't cold or running a fever, it probably means they are in pain.

Needless to say, I am switching vets.

I told them how Sammy was acting and they looked at him. It turns out he has gum infections! That is why he wasn't eating. He really needs his teeth cleaned. At first I was worried I am a bad mother--I gave up trying to brush his teeth because I never got anywhere--but they assured me that Sammy's teeth must have taken at least 10 months to get this bad. Whew! They gave me some ideas for future teeth brushing. And I scheduled an appointment for Friday for Sammy to be put under and have his teeth cleaned. So when I pick him up after work, his teeth (and hopefully his breath!) will be great.

Until then, he is on painkillers and anti-biotics. And I have switched him to canned dog food since it is easier for him to chew. Plus, I hide his medicine in it. He still picks it out half the time. Grrr... Oh, has anyone looked at canned dog food? It is kind of gross, because there is this gelatinous layer of fat in the can. Seriously, it is nasty looking. I scrape it off and throw it away.

He starts his obedience class next week, so that will be fun.

I swear I have more interesting things going on in my life than my dog.

Like the fact that I am thinking about buying a house in the near future. I am in a good situation to get one (stable job, decent money, little debt) and I am sick of renting. My lease is up in February, so I have a little time to get ready. If anyone has any advice for me, it would be much appreciated! Before y'all jump in with advice and warnings, please keep in mind that I know nothing about the following:

1. houses
2. banks
3. loans
4. taxes
5. if taxes are even involved in this process
6. selecting a realtor
7. property value
8. calculating mortgage payments
9. home inspections
10. the benefits of a condo vs. a house

I am still in the nieve little fantasy land of playing house. It goes something like this: A really fun realtor who can read my mind falls out of the sky. She takes me around on Saturdays and shows me adorable 1930s bungalows in my three favorite neighborhoods (Cottontown, Rosewood and Cayce/West Columbia, to those who know what I am talking about). The one I pick is not only perfectly tailored to my storage needs, but also in super condition and totally affordable. After doing cartwheels in the fenced-in backyard, we head to the bank, where they approve me for a loan of $3.2 million and magically, my mortgage payments are $200/month. The taxman gives me a $4,000 tax refund in April and soon after, my new neighborhood is deemed "Best for Happy Living" in the Columbia metropolitan area. My house value doubles in less than a year.

The following features would be found in the house:

1. hardwood floors
2. wrap-around porch
3. crown moulding or a fireplace w/mantel
4. new kitchen
5. walk-in closets
6. fenced in backyard for Sammy (and other doggies!!!)
7. lots and lots and lots of bathroom storage
8. big windows
9. deck or patio
10. lots of nice shady trees

It would look like this house. Or maybe like these. Aaaaah, so cute. So me. So expensive.

Ok, so I need to stop dreaming. And start reading "Buying a Home for Dummies" or something.

But if you have any advice, ideas or Tales of Warning to share with me, please, feel free. Lady Starfish already informed me of the importance of having a new-ish roof and good plumbing.

Let's see...what else...

I have been kind of bummed lately and convinced that I am going to die alone and childless. Every single girl has this fear, right?? Nothing like starting back at square one of the Dating Game to make you feel like a big, fat loser. I know I am just being silly. But I will be single for at least 6 months, trust me! That's how it always works for me. Place your bets now--I'm telling you, there will be good money in it.

Ok, moping over.

I don't think I have told you this yet. I am waiting on a set-up. A blind date. One of my coworkers has this neighbor. He went to VMI, which is like West Point. (Read: uniforms make me hot and bothered) This is really a big plus for me, as Fat Dog also went there. Plus, it is in my home state--ah, home. VMI grads are known for having their act together. Very organized, mature, assertive, responsible, smart, capable....they are just generally squared away. (Funny...I am kind of surprised Fat Dog is a graduate, actually.) Throw in a great sense of humor and a laid-back personality and this is pretty much my ideal man. Did I mention the uniforms?

So this guy, VMI Guy, is a few years older than I am. He's supposedly good looking and goes running every day. He owns a house and has a really cool job in a political think tank or something similar. No girlfriends, ex-wives or kids. My coworker is sketchy on the details, but that is the general run-down. She's convinced that we would hit it off. She asked me the other day if I would give him my number.

"You had me at VMI," I replied, as I scribbled down my number.

That was about 3 weeks ago. He hasn't called. I'm too afraid to ask her if she gave him my number or not. I don't want to nag her. And if the answer is "Yes, I did.", then it would only make me more depressed. It would mean that a guy who doesn't even know me has rejected me. I'm not ready to hear that right now. In either case, it doesn't look like it is panning out.

Last night, I discovered Kohl's home department. If you are trying to not shop, you must avoid this at all costs. I never get excited about home decorating stuff, and even I was skipping up and down the aisles with glee over their "buy one, get one free" sale. Do you know what I got???? For $35, I bought two framed prints for my bedroom wall. I am going for a fern theme in my bedroom. Fern stuff is surprisingly hard to find. So I was pretty stoked.

Ok, I have to go read some blogs now. Hopefully, you will hear from me soon!

Rosemary

We all know what anniversary it is today. I know I have said some prayers. I hope you will, too.

I signed up for a name at DC Roe's site. He is trying to get bloggers to sponsor each name on the list of victims. I got Rosa Maria ("Rosemary") Chapa. Let me tell you about her. I have tried to find accurate information about her, but there were some conflicting stories on the Internet. All apologies for any inaccuracies.

She grew up in San Antonio, TX and went to Thomas Jefferson High School. Ever since she was a child, she wanted to work at the Pentagon. Through hard work and determination, she managed to work her way up the ranks. For a time, she worked for the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Well liked by her colleagues, she was awarded the Joint Meritorious Civilian Service Award. She was 63 years old and in senior management in the DIA (Defense Intelligence Agency) at the time of the attack. By then, she had been living her dream of working in the Pentagon for over a decade. She was only a few months away from retirement.

In addition to being hard-working, Rosemary was also described as bright, intelligent and optimistic. I think this is evident when looking at the photo above. What a kind and loving face she has. She has a certain glow about her, does she not? One comment I read about her said (and I paraphrase), "What a beautiful place heaven must be, now that she is there."

Rosemary was also selfless and generous with her time and wisdom. One of her coworkers credited Rosemary with his career advancement, saying he wouldn't be where he is today without her guidance and help.

She is greatly missed, not only by her colleagues, but also by her friends and family. Her husband, her father, her 5 children, her 4 siblings, her 5 grandchildren and her two dogs survived Rosemary.

Today, she is buried among heroes and next to her Air Force husband, in Arlington National Cemetery.

Although I never met Rosemary, I feel I do know a little bit about her now. And I am grateful for the opportunity to share with others a tiny slice of her life. It helps her memory to live on a little, even if it is only with strangers.

I was lucky enough not to have any friends or family die in the attacks on 9/11/01. But I do ache at the thought of how devastating this must have been for those who were watching not only their country, but their loved ones, being attacked. I doubt any of us will ever be able to fully understand the pain and anger they must deal with on a regular basis. On days like today, it must be so much worse. My heart goes out to them. I hope that time will help the victims' families and friends find peace.

Fun Friday

Ok, this will be more fun for me than for you. I stole 2 memes from Anne.


Things that scare me.

1. Crickets
2. heights (but funny enough, I am cool with flying!)
3. cooking large hunks of meat. If you screw it up, there goes dinner. If you don't cook it long enough, it's still raw in the middle. And don't even get me started on all the different cuts of meat. So freaking confusing.

People who make me laugh.

1. Sam over at Sam's Stories
2. Lady Starfish
3. Mrs. Boston


Things I hate most.

1. People who read over my shoulder
2. Inefficiency. Drives me bananas.
3. When someone says, "Whatever!" to me. Totally rude and disrespectful.

Things I don't understand.

1. How people get started on highly addictive, illegal substances. I mean, at some point, they have said, "Yeah! Put the needle in my arm! That's a great idea!"
2. Why some people are terrified of libraries
3. How some people I've met never seem to eat. Not in an anorexic kind of way, but they just seem to forget to eat. Everyone at the beach was like that last weekend. K and I kept looking at each other, saying, "When do these people eat? Why are we the only hungry people?"

Things I'm doing right now.
1. Worrying about my dog
2. Keeping a major secret and trying to decide what to do about it
3. Mentally making my weekend plans: game watching, cooking, going to the gym...

Things I want to do before I die.

1. Do more traveling
2. Go platinum blonde
3. Have lots of kids, even if it means owning 10 dogs

Things I can do.

1. Line my eyes with liquid eyeliner (it's harder than you think)
2. Drive stick shift
3. Stick up for myself when I've had enough

Ways to describe my personality.

1. Sarcastic
2. Friendly
3. Outgoing
4. Efficient (Anne did 4 here, so I guess that is legal..)

Things I can't do.

1. Make someone feel the same way about me as I do about them
2. Balance my checkbook--Why am I off by $4.12???? There is no logical reason.
3. Look good in brown


Things I think you should listen to.

1. Your gut instinct
2. Your mother
3. Your doctor

Things you should never listen to.

1. Your ex
2. A liar
3. Anyone saying something that sounds too good to be true.


Things I'd like to learn.

1. Several foreign languages
2. How to read people's minds
3. How to fix my car all by myself, or at least know when I'm being overcharged.


Favorite foods.

1.ice cream
2. cheese
3. fried chicken

Beverages I drink regularly.

1. coffee
2. diet coke
3. cranberry juice


Shows I watched as a kid.

1. G.I. Joe
2. Mission Impossible
3. He-Man
4. Transformers


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

8 Facts/Things/Habits about me.


1. I have animals in my dreams a LOT. I recently dreamt that I was being chased by a bear. And Hilary Swank drove up in a car and rescued me. Weird. The celebrity-in-your-dream thing is new for me. I have been having them a lot, lately.

2. I secretly have no desire to ever quit smoking. I love cigarettes. But I still try to quit because it's good for me.

3. There are certain things I'm willing to pay someone to do so I don't have to fool with it myself: cut/color my hair, squeeze my dog's butt, alter my clothes, steam clean my carpets, do my taxes.

4. I hate it when people (anyone) see me without makeup. Even my mother.

5. I hold very, very few grudges. If I do, it is because the person betrayed me in some way. Disloyalty is the ultimate sin in my book.

6. If money were no object, I would get acrylic nails and keep them on for the rest of my life. Yes, I know they are kinda tacky, but I like them anyway.

7. No matter how out-of-style they become, I will always wear the following: big earrings, frosty pink lipstick, high heels and fitted turtlenecks. Not necessarily all the time or all at once, though.

8. Lately, when something bad happens to me, I am convinced it is God's way of punishing me for not going to church anymore. So I apologize to Him a lot and make promises I may or may not keep.

Thursday 13

13 Shocking/Amazing/Fun Things That Have Been Going On

1. The beach trip was fun. There were lots of dogs for Sammy to play with and lots of boys for me to play with. Fat Dog has some cute older friends! We all went out in a big group each night. Saturday night we went to watch a friend's band play on the boardwalk, which was pretty cool. We sat near the stage in this massively glamorous seafood restaurant, called Catch 31. The area is called Neptune Park, and this concert was part of the annual Neptune Festival. All the events are near this huge statue of King Neptune (see photo). A lot of the people we hung out with were old friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time, so they were kind of wrapped up in that. [Read: They were a little on the snooty side.] K and I spent most of our time with Fat Dog. Which was fine. We still had fun.

The house we stayed in was gorgeous. 4 bedrooms, 4 baths, new kitchen, hardwood floors. It was decorated in all this Jetsons-style (I learned the official term is "Googie" style) furniture and each room was painted in a gorgeous, rich color: lime, navy, canteloupe, red, etc. There were lots of large houseplants and big windows. There was a big hot tub in the backyard and a large balcony with couches to sit on. Decorative pillows and artwork everywhere. There was even a huge plasma tv! So how did my brother score such a house? His roommate is recently divorced from a woman who is from a very wealthy family. She is a designer or artist by trade, hence the gorgeous home. She told him he could keep the house and all of its furnishings in the divorce settlement. Now they live in the phattest bachelor pad I've ever seen!

The hot tub takes forever and a day to heat up, we learned. Unfortunately, we learned this at 2am after a night of partying, when we really wanted to use it. We ended up having a not-hot tub experience--it was lukewarm. Oh well.

K and I spent Saturday at a great mall. I got a bitchin' pair of peep-toe pumps. You can see a picture of them here. I got the light brown leather ones on clearance. I have nothing to wear them with. This does not bother me in the least.

2. K and I learned that if you drive in the Norfolk/Virginia Beach/Hampton Roads area, you will get lost. No ifs ands or buts. We got lost every time we got into the car. Not just a little lost, but the kind where you are 45 minutes away from where you thought you were. I have vowed never to travel to this part of the country again. It was my first time being lost and it was awful. I am Navigator Extraordinaire, and this was a big blow to my reputation. Luckily, The Czarina confirmed my frustration by agreeing that the roads in this area are labeled terribly--so terribly, in fact, that even The Czarina gets lost there all the time. Good to know I haven't lost my edge.

3. I learned a really, really big secret this week. I am afraid to blurt it out here, but email me and I'll give you the insider scoop. It will probably make your jaw drop.

4. RDG hasn't called me. I figured he wouldn't. Oh well. Free breakfasts are nice, right?

5. Repo takes turns being super sweet and super jerky to me. Aaaargh. It's silly for me to even talk to him, I know. But I'm moving on, trust me. Well, I'm trying to.

6. I have pretty much stopped smoking, although I could really go for a smoke right now....you will see why at the end of this list.

7. I have started working out again and eating (a little) better!!! Yesss! Go me!!

8. College football season has started, and in case you don't understand how important football is down here, all I can say is that it is like a fanatical cult of maniacs. That is the best definition I can think of. With football comes games, tailgating, cookouts and parties. Woo-hoo! The Gamecocks are playing Georgia on Saturday, so I have been hoping to come across a ticket, but I think I'm S.O.L. Which is ok, because I have been invited by about 5 different people to party and/or watch the game with them. I haven't made any definite plans yet, but Saturday will be really fun.

9. On a more interesting note, do you remember W, the guy who has a thing for me? He is friends with Blonde's brother. He is one of the people coming into town this weekend for the game. His plans got messed up, so I invited him to hang out with me for a while. He's nice, and easy to talk to. It should be fine. I just hope there aren't any awkward moments, as he's pretty much in The Friend Zone. I should probably give him a better nickname, though. How about The Crusher? Or maybe Black Eye, since he got into a bar fight last weekend? (Seriously, what is up with the fist fighting, guys???)

10. I found out I will be going to Orlando, FL in December. It's a conference for work. I will definitely get in touch with a college girlfriend who lives down there, but the big question is this: Should I call The Big Ex and tell him that I will be coming into town? We are on good terms, but I am worried that it might be opening up a big can of worms. Although, I'd probably have a really good time hanging out with him. But I just got to the point where we aren't talking anymore. Nothing bad, I just see his number pop up on my phone and think, "What's the point?" So I have been getting off the phone quickly when he calls. Do I want to go there?

11. I have some frequent flier points I have to use by December, so I think I will be making a trip to Naptown, aka Indianapolis, soon. I have so many friends there and I'd love to see everyone.

12. Happy News!!!: Lady Starfish got engaged over Labor Day weekend!!!! She and her man, J have been arguing like cats and dogs lately, so it was a surprise to both her and me to hear this. It turns out, J was being a dickhead intentionally so she wouldn't think anything was up. How funny is that? He took her to a B&B, had champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries and a picnic all laid out for her. Then he popped the question. Awww....oh, and I'm going to be a bridesmaid, which is cool. I've never been one before.

13. Most of today was spent worrying about Sammy, because he is not feeling too good. He has been lethargic and shaky all day. Not eating or drinking, just laying around. When K got home at 2pm, she called me to tell me that Sammy had acquired a fever, too. This freaked me out. So I took him into the vet this afternoon. He needed to have his anal glands drained. Say it with me: EWWWWW!!!!! Like mother, like dog, I guess. We both have had our butt issues. When he was done, he was a lot perkier, which made me feel better.

The vet tech told me to give him some aspirin for the pain (his little butt is tender), but I thought she said tylenol. So I tried to get Sammy to take some Children's Tylenol before I went back to work. He wouldn't eat it. I covered it with peanut butter and left.

On the way back to work, I realized that I had given Sammy tylenol when the tech had told me to give him aspirin. I always get those things confused. I'm blonde like that--advil, aspirin, motrin--it's all the same to me. So, I start freaking out. I did a quick internet search on it, and read that tylenol is poisonous to dogs. Now I'm really freaking. Good job, VB, way to poison your dog. As if it isn't bad enough, having your ass glands clogged, now he's got to worry about his mother trying to poison him. Gah.

I called the vet, panicking. They said the amount I gave him is ok, but any more would have been bad. I told them that he may not have eaten it. Sammy is a really picky eater. He probably just licked the peanut butter off it and left it there. I hope. Right now, I'm waiting for K to get home and call me to tell me how he's doing and what happened to the pill. Fingers crossed...

Fun Friday!

Before I leave town for the weekend (I'm spending it with Ernesto), I will leave y'all with a funny video I came across this week....enjoy!

I will continue to catch up on blogs when I get back. Charming, Vixen, Modigli, et al -- I'm chipping away at it ever so slowly, trust me! And soon I will only be about a week behind on everyone's.....thanks for your patience!

This dog is the same breed as Sammy. Luckily, my dog isn't this...excited.




Ok, I have to go! Sorry so short. Talk to you when I get back!